Sacrificial Lamb
by Nolebucgrl
Summary: Redo on the end of Eclipse and replacing BD; when Jacob kisses Bella in the woods after threatening to kill himself. Bella does not have any love for Jacob other than friendship. She embarks on her life with Edward. Canon/AU you decide. Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 1

A/N:

I read the Twilight Saga last November and quickly became captivated by the story that Stephenie Meyer created. To say that I became obsessed is probably an understatement, as here I am eight months later still reading about it. I've decided to try to write about it now, after a month of reading fanfiction and feeling inspired to give it my own shot. This is my first fic so I don't know how it'll go, I know what I plan to do but we'll see how it goes when I actually get it all down on screen.

I lack the creativity that so many fanfiction authors possess, so instead of making up my own story from scratch, at least this first time out, I'm going to stick with Meyer's story and attempt to correct an egregious error she made, at least in my book. I know several people who have the same issue, so I'm not alone and I want to fix it and see how the story would go if this step had been taken.

We pick up toward the end of Eclipse, when Jacob is kissing Bella at her request after he threatens to off himself in the battle with the newborn vampires. Let me know what you think!

I do not own Twilight or any of it's characters, I'm just changing it a bit.

BPOV

You would think that kissing a man with a body temperature of 108 degrees wouldn't leave a person cold, wouldn't you? But here I was, having my mouth devoured by Jacob and I felt nothing. No heat, no passion, no excitement. If I had to put it into words I guess I would say that I felt numb. I couldn't even feel the love that I felt for my best friend in that moment, not knowing that what I was doing was going to hurt the man that I truly loved; a man who despite his frigid body temperature never left me cold inside.

I flashed back to Edward's kisses from just two nights ago, when he finally broke me down and got me to agree to be his wife. Ugh, wife! But I couldn't begrudge him that, not when I saw the joy that he felt when I gave him his much longed for yes. I have never seen my Edward happier and I swear I will do anything from here on out to bring that glowing smile to his face. Edward had kissed me that night with unrestrained passion, which he never does out of fear of hurting me. His love had left me hot and breathless and worked up for so much more.

Edward! I groaned, thinking of how I was going to walk back to that tent and face him after kissing Jacob. What would it do to him? He had been so hurt this morning after watching me sleep in Jacob's arms. His eyes looked dead…I never wanted to see him look like that again. I hated the pain I had caused him and I know I'm only going to cause him more with this kiss. I just have to make him understand that it means nothing.

Crap, Jake heard my groan and tightened his grip on me, clearly he thinks I'm enjoying this just as much as he is. I wish he'd hurry up and let me go. I hate this situation and I hate knowing that I've caused it. I knew Jake had feelings for me and I kept going to see him. I see my selfishness now; it wasn't fair to lead him on and it wasn't fair to make Edward feel insecure either. I don't understand how such a gorgeous creature could ever be insecure over me, but I know that he is. That look on his face this morning is burned into my brain now. I can't let it go, he really does think he can lose me. I have to show him he's the only one.

Damn, Jake, would you hurry up so I can go talk to him? I need to make it right. Once and for all, I need to end this seesaw ride I've been teetering on since we got back from Italy. I need to make my choice and it's an easy one. It's the choice I made the day I figured out that Edward was a vampire. It didn't matter to me because he's the one. The only one. Jake was just going to have to understand that and let me go. I have to let him go too, though. That's my fault. I should have dealt with this long ago.

Finally the pressure on my lips starts to ease and Jake pulls back, keeping his hands on my shoulders. He smiles that special smile that lights up his whole face and my heart lurches. I hate that I'm going to hurt him. He was there for me when I needed him most but I just can't be there for him, not the way he wants me to. I open my mouth to tell him but he reaches forward and gives me another kiss, a peck this time.

"Gotta go, Bells! We'll talk about this later, but right now I have some bloodsucker butt to go kick!" As big as he is, I often forget he's only 16. Times like this drive home just how young he truly is. He's like a little kid running off to play war with his buddies, not understanding the gravity of the situation. My friends could get hurt, or even die today and he's busy whooping it up over getting to fight some vamps.

"Jacob…"

"No time, Bells, the newborns will be here soon and I've got to go phase. See you later!" He planted another kiss on me and raced into the forest. Clearly I'll have to deal with him later, I guess at least he's going off thinking that he has something to fight for. That was my goal after all, the reason I asked him to give me the ridiculous kiss.

Now that it's over, I have to go find Edward. I know he's probably seen everything through Jake's eyes and I'm scared to death at what I'll find when I return to the tent. I realize that I'm crying. When did that start? I impatiently wipe my tears away. I have to go find Edward but my feet don't want to move. I'm so anxious to see him but so scared at the same time. Baby steps, Bella. One foot after the other. He loves you, you know he loves you. He'll listen. He just has to.

As I walk through the forest, partially obscured by the tears that are still leaking down my face, I ponder everything that's happened over the last two days. I got engaged. Me, Bella Swan, getting married. Soon to be Bella Cullen. I really do like the sound of that, even if I don't like the idea of marriage itself. It's not really the idea of forever with Edward that scares me. How could it? I want to be with him for eternity. Hundreds, maybe thousands of years. No, it's Renee. Renee and Charlie. How are my parents going to react to this news?

I glance down at my now empty ring finger. It won't be empty for long, at least as long as Edward forgives me for kissing Jake. God I hope that one impulsive move doesn't ruin us. Now I find myself hoping to get to the chance to tell Charlie and Renee that I got engaged. Please, please don't let everything be ruined. I need Edward. He's my everything. I will spend my life making sure that he knows that.

My feet have carried me to the clearing where we camped last night. Seth is pacing back and forth in front of the tent, his body tensed. He glances at me and looks quickly away. I know he knows what I just did and I'm sure he's judging me for it. Welcome to the club, buddy.

I ignore him and walk toward the tent. You can do this, Bella. I take a deep breath and duck inside, ready to face my love, my fate and my future.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

EPOV

I had known worse pain. I could never experience more pain than I had when I thought that Bella was dead. I truly became the living dead in that moment; all my thoughts were consumed with agony for those few short days. I longed for the sweet release of death so that maybe, if Carlisle was right, I could join her for eternity that way. I couldn't live in a world without Bella so I sought my own destruction. As always, she saved me though. She found me before I could go through with my plan to provoke the Volturi and she made my life complete again. I just had to remind myself that I had known worse pain.

Still, seeing her through Jacob's eyes as his lips pressed against hers was torture. If my heart was still beating it would have stopped in that moment when she asked him to kiss her. I wanted to shut off my brain, I didn't want to see it through his mind's eye but I couldn't look away. I watched Bella's face as his lips bent toward hers. Did she seem excited? Did she seem anxious to feel him? Was she looking at him with love? I was going to drive myself crazy wondering these things but her silent mind was really haunting me now. I had to look. I knew her expressions so well; I had to read her face to see if I could find out what was going on in her head.

She closed her depthless chocolate brown eyes, cutting off my view into her soul. I didn't know if I should be angry or grateful that the dog kept his eyes open. His hands gripped her shoulders tightly and he yanked her to him with an unrestrained power that both infuriated me and filled me with envy. I longed to take her that way, to put all of my love and passion for her into a kiss knowing that I would never hurt her. Like I had a million times before, I cursed my very existence. Most vampires view their strength and power as something that makes them more, something that makes them better. I know what a handicap it really is.

Seth lets out a low whine outside of the tent. Though he can't see what's happening, his keen hearing let him know what was going on. Seth is such a good hearted guy. He knows that Jake loves Bella and he's happy for him but he also likes me and knows what I'm seeing and hearing. His thoughts momentarily distracted me from Jake's, which was a good thing as he was now envisioning MY Bella with nothing on and him writhing around on top of her. Fury spiked and I wanted nothing more than to burst out of the tent and go rip the dog in half. Did I really used to think it was horrible witnessing that vile Newton's little fantasies about Bella? I nearly laughed as I remembered my urge to smash his face into his desk in biology. I thought about all the times that I wanted to smack him or Tyler Crowley through the wall. What a fool I was. Their harmless thoughts were nothing, nothing compared to Jacob Black's. Though they were similar, they were nothing alike because I knew that Bella wanted nothing to do with either of those insignificant little humans. Therein lies the problem…I don't know if she truly wants Jacob Black.

I know she loves him. His absence from her life upon my return to Forks had hurt her deeply. Hurt her to the point that she continued to put herself at risk to go see him. I couldn't fault her for caring about him. He was there when I wasn't. He took care of her when I didn't. He comforted her when I hurt her. He put her back together after I tore her apart. I would never, ever be able to make up for what I did to her when I left. I would never stop hating myself for doing it. And I could never hurt or kill Jacob because he did take care of her. I couldn't even make myself hate him. If she picked him, if she came to me now and told me that she was going to be with him, I wouldn't go kill him and reclaim her as mine. She would hate me then and I couldn't live with myself if she hated me. I didn't know how I would live with myself if she left me for him, but I knew that if she could find happiness with someone else, I wouldn't begrudge either one of them that.

Cursed vampire mind, I could think all these chaotic and painful thoughts while still listening to Jacob's and seeing Bella through his mind's eye. His eyes were open, searching her face to see if he could find her love reflected back upon him. I looked as well but I didn't see the look on her face that she got when she gazed upon me. God she was beautiful. I wish she would open her eyes so I could see what she was thinking. Her face was almost blank. Her eyes shut tightly. I watched as one of Jacob's hands strayed from her shoulder up to her hair, pulling her face tighter to him as he continued to mash his lips to hers.

Anger spiked again. That was MY girl. I was the one who ran my fingers through her hair. She loved it when I did that. I spent every single night combing my fingers through her hair when she slept, humming her lullaby and looking at that beautiful face. Running my cold fingers over her soft cheek and watching a faint blush steal over it, even in sleep. Listening to her sweet voice call my name as she dreamt about me. I could not lose her. I would not lose her.

If she told me to let her go, I would, but I wasn't going to let her go forever. That damn dog would hurt her someday, I know he would. He hadn't imprinted on her and though he was so sure that he loved her, I knew that one day he might look at a girl and find his true soul mate. Then he would rip Bella's heart out and leave her, just like Sam had done to Leah. I would not sit by and do nothing if that happened. It didn't matter to me if it happened in a week, a month, a year or a decade. I would be there for her. Even if she never wanted me again, I would be there as a friend and a confidant. I had sworn I would never leave her again and I wouldn't, even though watching her with him day in and day out would surely crush me.

Still, if she was happy I could deal with it. I could handle anything so long as she was smiling and living a life that fulfilled her. I could never give her anything more than my love. If she wanted to live a normal existence with the dog, I would sit by and watch her enjoy it. Her happiness was my number one priority.

Jake finally started to pull back from Bella and I breathed a sigh of relief that that torture was over. There might be more to come but sitting through this, not knowing what she was thinking and feeling was too much. I needed to stop wondering and to know. Her silent thoughts, usually fascinating, were nothing but torment to me right now. I watched as her eyes slowly opened. What was that look in them? I don't know if I've seen that one before.

I let out the breath that I'd been unknowingly holding while I watched the scene unfold in Jacob's mind. She was not looking at him with love, not like the way she looks at me. God, was there still hope? Was she still mine? I watch as something flashes across her face. It looks like pain. What does that mean? Did he hurt her while he was devouring her face? If he hurt her, I could at least hurt him a little, right? I wouldn't kill him, but I could rip a limb off. I smiled to myself as that image played through my mind. I knew it was momentary satisfaction but I couldn't help but like the image of Jacob yelping as he ran around on 3 legs. Ah to dream!

Focus, Edward. You can fantasize about maiming Jacob at any other time, this is too important. Your entire existence is on the line right now and you need to stop thinking about legless Jacob. He doesn't matter. All that matters in the world is that beautiful angel looking at the dog incomprehensibly. What is she thinking? I am going to go mad if I don't find out soon.

"Gotta go, Bells! We'll talk about this later but right now I have some bloodsucker butt to go kick!" Bloodsucker butt indeed, Jacob. You're lucky they're just newborns. He is such a child, really. So overconfident and cocky about his wolf strength. He truly doesn't know what any one of us could do to him without half trying. He couldn't take on a full grown vampire alone. I know their whole pack took down Laurent but they needed six of them to do it. One, even two wolves would not really be a match for us.

"Jacob…" There was my girl's voice but she didn't sound right. I could hear the pain in that one word. She sounded as if she'd lost her best friend. Had she? He was her best friend. Was it wrong for me to hope that this kissing thing had backfired upon him and made her see that the friendship she perceived to have with him was not as she thought it? How could I root for something that would cause her immeasurable pain? Am I really selfish enough to take pleasure in the thought of him being out of her life?

I thought about that for a few moments. I didn't want her to hurt but I knew that Jacob would be a thorn in our side for a long time if he stuck around. I can't be her everything but she still has Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Esme and Carlisle. I'm not sure if Rose will ever be a friend to her, but the others all already love Bella. I know losing him would leave a hole in her heart, I would never ask her to give him up. I tried to keep them apart and all that got me was her sneaking off and giving me panic attacks. If seeing him made her happy, I would step back and let her see him.

Getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we Edward? I still don't know what that look on her face means and I still have no idea what she's going to say to me. I can't even begin to allow myself to dream that she's not only chosen me but that she's going to forsake him. She wouldn't hurt him that way and I wouldn't ask her to. I owe him; I must remember always that I owe him.

"No time, Bells, the newborns will be here soon and I've got to go phase. See you later!" He flashed her some big smile and gave her another quick kiss before running off into the forest. I could hear his euphoric mind as he phased. His mind was shouting over and over that she was his. That did it. My fists clenched and I let out a deep guttural growl. Seth let out a small whine outside of the tent and I tried to reign in my temper. I picked up an empty thermos of water that I'd brought for Bella and crushed it in one hand. If only this were Jacob's head…

Dammit, Edward, calm down. She'll be here in a minute and I can't let her see the rage. The last thing on earth I ever want to do is scare her. That was never acceptable. Breathe slowly and focus on something else. Think of Bella's smile, of the light in those chocolate brown eyes when she looks at you. Think of her intoxicating scent, the scent that brought me nearly to madness and then brought me a strength that I've never known. It worked. Thoughts of Bella always worked to calm my nerves and bring me peace.

I listened to the sound of her footsteps. She was walking at a turtle's pace and this time I don't think it was fear of falling that was making her be so cautious. She was afraid to face me. It killed me that she would feel that way. No matter what she had to say, I had to vow not to make it hard on her. I would listen and I would take it calmly, even if she told me we were over. I would never let her see the pain it would cause me if she were to let me go. I would do that for her, for to cause her pain or guilt over my pain was unimaginable. I would be strong for her.

Hmm, interesting. The packs reactions to Jacob's memory of kissing Bella were rather mixed. Quil and Embry were happy for their friend. That made sense; they were the closest to Jacob and would want him to get what he wanted. Paul boiled with rage at the thought of sloppy vampire seconds. That one made me angry and I bit back another growl. Leah's mind was its usual mass of jealousy and anger; she resented the idea of Jacob being happy when she was suffering. Nothing new there. Sam, though, Sam's thoughts were worried. He worried that Jacob read the situation wrong; he thought if Bella did leave me for Jacob that our pact might end and we might all go to war. I guess a leader had to worry about things like that and plan ahead.

Listening to them didn't make any less aware of Bella's approach. I could hear her tentative footsteps contrasting with the sound of her pounding heart. It was faster than usual, she was nervous. So was I. I've never felt so out of control in over a hundred years since this girl came into my life. She's made me into an entirely new being and thrown me into chaos. But it's a good chaos and I never want to let it go. Please tell me that I don't have to let it go.

She's here. I hear her pause outside of the tent and take a deep breath before she steps inside. I steady myself and take a breath of my own. I have to be strong for her. I settle my face into a smooth mask and await the words that will either destroy my life or bring me eternal peace.


	3. Chapter 3

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 3

BPOV

As I stepped into the tent, my eyes instinctively flew to where Edward was sitting. I know he heard everything that happened. Jacob and I weren't that far away and Edward's mind reading extends a few miles, so surely he saw everything. And he saw it through Jacob's eyes rather than my own, which meant that he had no idea how I was feeling and every idea how Jake was. The idea frightened me beyond belief.

Edward's angel face was as dull as I'd ever seen it. He didn't share with me that dazzling smile; his eyes weren't alight with love. His eyes…I saw a flash in his eyes before they went as blank as the rest of his face. What I saw chilled me to the bone. Pain. Searing pain. I gasped and the tears that were already running down my face began to flow at an even greater speed. Without taking a second to think about it I launched myself into his stone chest, sobbing and choking out "I'm sorry" over and over again. If I said it enough, maybe he would believe me.

I didn't deserve, God knows I didn't, but those strong arms of his encircled me as I cried all over his chest. "Shh, Bella, shh. It's alright. Stop crying. I can't bare it when you cry." He muttered something else under his breath but I couldn't catch it over my wailing.

"Edward, you have to know that I…"

"Wait!" Edward's whole body went rigid with tension and I just knew that it was over. He wasn't going to forgive me for kissing Jake. He wasn't going to forgive me for hurting him. I didn't blame him. I wasn't going to forgive myself either. That one flash of pain he showed me would live in my mind forever. I now understood why he could never get over the hurt he caused me when he left. I would do anything not to have hurt him. I get it now and it's too late.

My wails increased because he wasn't going to let me tell him that I loved him and not Jacob. He wasn't going to let me apologize for the kiss and the hurt I'd caused him. "Bella, I know you're upset and I know we have to talk but the battle has started."

Oh, that's why he told me to wait; he had to concentrate on the fight. Of course he did, we had to know if our family and our friends were going to be alright. How could I have forgotten about Victoria and the newborns? Too caught up in my own drama I guess. I'd have thought this crap would end in high school but clearly that was not the case. Yes, we needed to save the majority of the talking for after everyone was safe, but there was something I had to say right now.

"Edward." He looked over at me and the dead look in his eyes was gone. He looked scared. I don't know if he was scared for his family or if he was afraid of what I was going to tell him. Probably a combination of both. "I know you need to concentrate but I do have to say this. I can't go another minute without saying it."

He closed his eyes and softly said my name. "Bella." He shook his head and then opened his eyes and he let me see it then. He let me see the hurt and the terror and that almost overabundant amount of love he still had for me in that moment. "Please, if you are going to leave me, don't tell me right now. I can't get through that and sit here while my family fights my battles. It's too much." His beautiful golden eyes flashed with pain and anger as he uttered those last 3 words. It was too much. I had put him through entirely too much for weeks now. And I didn't even see it.

"Edward!" This time I said it more forcefully and I leaned forward and took his perfect face between my two small hands. "I am not leaving you. I will never leave you. I love you and only you. I know I hurt you and I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. I know you saw what happened with Jacob but you can't possibly know…"

When I said Jacob's name his face twisted into a grimace and I swear if he could cry he would be crying right now. I think he almost sobbed in that moment. "Edward, I am so sorry I did that. I'm so sorry that you saw me do it but you have to know I only did it because he scared me. He threatened to…"

Anger flashed in his eyes and his hands reached up and gripped my wrists, still holding on to his face. "I know what he threatened to do, Bella. But do you honestly believe he was going to let himself die just to prove that he loves you? He accuses me of being a manipulator and look at what he did. Time and time again he's played on your emotions and you didn't even see it. You just went along and gave in to him every single time! He used your love and you let him!"

His grip tightened on my wrists, not the point of pain but I would probably have some bruises to show for it. "I didn't even think about it like that, Edward. I know he makes me feel guilty for not spending time with him and he makes me feel bad about not loving him but he's not a bad person."

Edward laughed bitterly in that moment. "No, he's not a bad person, Bella; he's just a kid using every weapon he can to try to get what he wants. I actually almost respect him for that. Well the part of me that doesn't want to kill him does anyway."

"Edward Cullen! Don't you talk like that! Jacob might have manipulated me but he was there for me when I needed a friend."

Oh no, the pain was back in his eyes again. I almost preferred the anger. I knew he'd never hurt me but I sure didn't want to be hurting him. "Yes, Bella, I know. I know what he did for you and I will never be able to repay him for that. I want to hate him, but how can I hate him for seeing how special you are and for loving you too?" His voice broke on that last question and I felt a pit settling in my stomach.

"Edward, I don't care that he loves me. I know that's terrible to say. I do love Jacob, but only as a friend. You're the one I love; you're the one I want to be with." Seth whined from outside the tent but I didn't really focus on that.

"Are you sure, Bella?" he asked in an agonized whisper. "There's so much that he can give you that I can't. You can have a normal life with him. You can have your family. You can have children. Being with me takes all that away from you and I don't know how you could sacrifice that for me. I'm not worth it."

"Not worth it?" Anger was coursing through me now. "Edward, you are _everything_ to me. I have told you that time and again. You're the only person that I can't live without." I looked into his doubting eyes and tried to shake some sense into his rock hard head. "You know this; you know what happened when you left. Yes, eventually I began to function like a human being again but I never felt, I never lived until you were back with me."

Edward closed his eyes as my words washed over him. I know what bringing up his leaving does, how guilty he truly feels about it but I had to remind him so he'd know that there was no way I could go on without him. "I don't need Jacob as some kind of human safety net, Edward. You're the one I want. You're the one I choose. If you don't want me anymore, I won't go running to him. You're the only one for me."

Those golden eyes looked up at me, something fighting through the hurt and despair. Was it hope? "You mean that, Bella? You don't want to be with Jacob?"

I sighed. "Edward, do you know what I was thinking the whole time that he was kissing me?"

"No. I tried to figure it out but I couldn't see your eyes and your face didn't give anything away. It nearly drove me mad wondering what you were feeling," he cringed, clearly picturing it in his head again.

"I was thinking of all the mistakes I'd made. How I'd lead Jake on and how I'd hurt you by trying to fit myself into both of your worlds. I didn't see it, Edward. I didn't realize just how much it hurt you when I snuck off to see him. I thought it was all about my safety but that wasn't it, was it?"

"No, of course not. I did worry about you, naturally. Not being able to know if you were safe or not always upset me, but it was more than that. I knew how he felt about you, so of course I didn't like you being around him. I was afraid he'd take you away from me. Even worse than that, though, was that I didn't know how you felt about him. I knew you cared about him a great deal and even that you loved him, but there's always been a part of me that was afraid that you were in love with him." He let go of my wrists and began wiping my remaining tears away. I had finally stopped crying, at least for the moment.

"Edward, how could I ever be in love with anybody else when I am so completely in love with you?" Just then, an earsplitting howl pierced my subconscious. "What happened? Did one of the wolves get hurt in the battle?" I began to panic, wondering which one of my friends had gotten injured on my account. My bad luck was rubbing off on everyone. Edward's face shifted rather quickly, it almost looked like he smiled but it was gone before my brain could process what it was seeing. Surely nothing amusing could be going on, could it?

"Nothing happened, Bella; that was Jacob."

"Jake? What happened to Jake?"

Edward looked a little sheepish. "I know you're going to think after what happened a little bit ago that I did this on purpose."

"Did what on purpose? What is going on?"

"He heard what you said, through Seth. He knows that you don't love him, at least not the way he wants you to."

Dammit, how could I have forgotten, again, that we had wolves that communicated through their minds all over the place? Stupid supernatural creatures and their special abilities! I waited for the guilt to hit me but surprisingly it didn't. I was truly sorry that Jake had to hear me tell Edward that I didn't love him, but I didn't feel nearly as bad as I did knowing that Edward had to see me kissing Jake. I had made my choice. "I'm sorry, Jake," I whispered, certain that he would hear.

"Bella, I completely forgot that Seth was even there, I swear. I wasn't trying to fool you into doing that." Something flickered in his eyes and he looked down and ran his hand through his hair, messing it up even more than it usually was.

"I know you didn't. I am sorry that Jacob had to hear this way. I owed it to him to sit down and tell him how I feel about him but I owed it to you more to make sure you knew that it was you that I love."

For the first time in what seemed like years, Edward smiled that special lop-sided smile that made my heart leap. "I love you too, Bella. I know I'm not good enough for you but I also know that I can't live without you."

"I know I freaked out on you about the engagement and the wedding and I'm sorry for that. I let my own family hang ups get in the way of what's right with you and me. I was hoping that you would put your mother's ring back on my finger when we get back home? I want everyone to know that I choose you and that you choose me."

His glorious face lit up like it did when I agreed to marry him. "Bella, we still have a lot more to talk about before we get married, but I don't want to wait to put the ring back on your finger; we don't have to wait until we get home." He took the antique ring out of his pocket and slid it on my left ring finger. I couldn't deny that it fit like it was made specifically for me. This time the panic didn't come, though. I really was at peace with my choice. As long as I had Edward, I had everything.

He leaned forward and pressed his cool lips to mine. I pressed as hard as I could into his iron embrace and gave him all the love I had in me. He pulled back and chuckled, tucking my hair behind my ear. "Not that I ever want to quit kissing you, love, but don't you want to know how the fight with the newborns is going?"


	4. Chapter 4

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 4

EPOV

One look at Bella nearly brought me to my knees. Tears were streaming down her face and her eyes were red and swollen. She should never look like that; hurt and broken. For one brief moment, looking at her broke through my impassive mask and I know she saw something in my eyes. That was all it took for her to throw herself into my arms. She burrowed into my chest sobbing "I'm sorry" over and over. Resisting her was impossible; I never could, that's what led us to here and now. I wrapped myself around her and buried my face in her fragrant hair, getting lost in the scent of strawberries that was so Bella.

"Shh, Bella, shh. It's alright. Stop crying. I can't bare it when you cry." I had to comfort her; it was like my default setting. She must not hurt. "I belong to you. Please don't send me away." I whispered under my breath. I must not let her hear that; I didn't want to guilt her into staying with me.

"Edward, you have to know that I…"

"Wait!" I needed to know; I had to know everything but was now really the time? The newborns were getting close to the wolves. I could see that they smelled the wolves scent but didn't know what it was they smelled; that foul combination of wolf and man would not be known to such new vampires. I tensed as if I was in the woods with them, ready to spring to action. Sam's directions to the others nearly called to me. He wanted everyone to hold their positions until the first group was nearly past them, so they could attack from the sides as Jasper had taught them in the clearing. His plan was good; they wouldn't know what hit them.

I looked at Bella and noticed that she looked even more stricken than before. The tears had to be blurring her vision as she sobbed her heart out. Did she think that I wasn't going to talk to her about what happened?

"Bella, I know you're upset and I know we have to talk but the battle has started." Her face calmed somewhat at my words. I guess she really did think I was going to send her away. Sweet Bella, didn't she know that I was incapable of doing that? She's part of me now and she'll be with me until the day I cease to exist and beyond, if there is such a thing for a monster like me.

"Edward." She pulled me out of my ruminations before I could head down that tangent again. If she knew I was thinking about my lack of soul again she'd be furious. On another day I'd be all too happy to bring out the tiger kitten within her, but now was not the time. No, now I had to find out if she was through with me, if the reason for my existence was going to cease to be part of my life. Just the thought of that brought me terror like I'd never known. I don't think I could do without her again. Would seeing her from the shadows be enough for me?

"I know you need to concentrate but I do have to say this. I can't go another minute without saying it."

I closed my eyes as her words washed over me. Could I hear this right now while my family and the wolves were engaging in battle with our enemies? Would it drive me insane to lose her and to lose any of them? I don't think I could stand it. I looked back into her face and saw the fear and concern there. What did she see in my eyes? Did she see that I couldn't live without her? Could she tell just how much I loved her and that I was incapable of letting her go? I couldn't hear it, I could not listen to her tell me she loved Jacob. Not now, when my family was fighting my battles while I sat on the sidelines being terrified. I had to show her how truly weak I was in that moment, but it didn't matter; she'd seen me at my worst before. Being weak, when it came to her, was nothing new.

"Please, if you are going to leave me, don't tell me right now. I can't get through that and sit here while my family fights my battles. It's too much." I'm not strong enough, Bella, don't you see that?

"Edward!" Her voice stopped me from what had been my cowardly plan to push her away and get out of the tent. Having her so near and knowing that she may no longer be mine was killing me. She grabbed my face and forced me to look at her. This was it. I couldn't avoid her if I wanted to. Her tiny hands held me in place as if I was the human and she was the vampire. I couldn't move and truth be told, I didn't want to. I'd sit there and let her hold me until the end of time.

"I am not leaving you." If I had a heartbeat, it would have skipped in that moment. "I will never leave you. I love you and only you." And now that beat would be pounding so hard that my heart might leap out of my chest. "I know I hurt you and I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am for that. I know you saw what happened with Jacob but you can't possibly know…"

Jacob! Just hearing his name brought back the rage. He'd tried to take her from me. I wanted nothing more than I wanted her, that would always be true, but to have the opportunity to rip him from limb to limb was a close second. Something in me snapped and I had to tell her what I knew. My hands encircled her little wrists and I spewed forth just a small amount of the venom that dog had been evoking in me for months.

"I know what he threatened to do, Bella. But do you honestly believe he was going to let himself die just to prove that he loves you?" As if someone like Jacob could ever effectively play the martyr. I'd been the martyr for more years than that child had been alive. "He accuses me of being a manipulator and look what he did. Time again he's played on your emotions and you didn't even see it. You just went along and gave in to him every single time! He used your love and you let him!" In truth, that was the most infuriating thing about him. He had no qualms about using her tender heart against her. He took advantage of the feelings that she had for him. Did she not see that?

She looked surprised. Of course she didn't see it; it wasn't her nature to see deception and manipulation. She thought the best of everybody. She thought the best of me and look what that had brought her. "I didn't even think about it like that, Edward. I know he makes me feel guilty for not spending time with him and he makes me feel bad about not loving him but he's not a bad person."

I couldn't help it, I had to laugh. Of course he wasn't a bad person. He was going after what he wanted. He just happened to want the same thing I did and that was unacceptable. How was I supposed to sit by and watch him go after my girl? I was not an angel, despite what Bella often thought of me. The monster inside me yearns to be unleashed; to show Jacob that I won't sit idly by while he takes away the most important person in my world. "No, he's not a bad person, Bella, he's just a kid using every weapon he can to try to get what he wants. I actually almost respect him for that. Well, the part of me that doesn't want to kill him does anyway." Oops, shouldn't have let that one out, here comes the protective tiger kitten.

"Edward Cullen!" I had to bite back a grin when she used my last name. It wouldn't be appropriate to smile under the circumstances. Only she could bring humor out in me at a time like this. Too bad she didn't use Anthony as well; it would have been so perfect for an oncoming lecture. "Don't you talk like that! Jacob might have manipulated me but he was there for me when I needed a friend."

And just like that, the humor switch was flipped right off. Memories of her face when I left her in the woods, when I told her that I didn't love her anymore flew through my mind. Images given to me by her beloved friend Jacob soon consumed me again; the vacant look on her face. She'd been like a zombie when I left; there was no life in her. I hated seeing her like that, nothing on earth was worth causing her that kind of pain.

"Yes, Bella, I know. I know what he did for you and I will never be able to repay him for that. I want to hate him, but how can I hate him for seeing how special you are and for loving you too?" My voice actually cracked as I told her that. It frustrated me to no end that I actually understood him; my enemy. But he couldn't be my enemy because of what he'd done for her. I wanted so badly to be able to loathe him but every time I started, I remembered that he fixed her after I left her broken. I could never hurt him because of that.

"Edward, I don't care that he loves me." What? This was not something my Bella would say. Where did that come from? "I know that's terrible to say. I do love Jacob, but only as a friend. You're the one that I love; you're the one that I want to be with." I had never in my life felt as relieved as I did in that moment. She loved me. Me! I'll never understand how someone as good and as pure as her could love a monster like me but I swear that I will never take it for granted. I'll never do anything to make her regret choosing me.

I dimly heard Seth whine from outside the tent and reality came crashing back in. While I'd been involved in my conversation with Bella, the battle had raged on. I saw Quil and Paul combine to take down a blond female newborn. She shrieked in agony as Paul's teeth sank into her neck and Quil's ripped off her right leg from below the knee. I could hear Emmett's voice in the distance, chortling with glee over something Alice had done. All appeared to be going well so far.

Another voice came into my head then, a voice filled with anger and hatred. Ah, Jacob. It hadn't really been my plan for him to hear this conversation with Bella but I wasn't sorry about it. I knew Seth was nearby and likely transmitting to all of them, but it was a secondary thought during the conversation with Bella. That was about us, not about him. He needed to know though and this way he knew the truth, without his interference. I'm sure when he gets the chance to talk to her face to face he will do his best to twist her emotions up again, but for now he knows how she really feels. Any joy I take in his pain is fleeting, though, because I know his pain will cause Bella pain. She is so selfless. I don't deserve her.

"Are you sure, Bella?" I have to make sure she knows what choosing me means; how much she'll have to give up to be with me. It kills me to take things away from her; all I want to do is give her the world. "There's so much that he can give you that I can't. You can have a normal life with him. You can have your family. You can have children. Being with me takes all that away from you and I don't know how you could sacrifice that for me. I'm not worth it." I'm not, but she doesn't see that. What miracle brought her to me? What I had done to be given a gift like her, I couldn't say but I'll always be thankful for it.

As usual, my self-doubting brings out her anger. "Not worth it? Edward, you are _everything _to me. I have told you that time and again. You're the only person that I can't live without." I can't stop the warmth from going through my body at those words. Where she was my life, I was also hers. "You know this; you know what happened when you left. I began to function like a human being again but I never felt, I never lived until you were back with me."

I had to close my eyes again as the guilt weighed down upon me. I could never make up for what I did. Leaving her had been the worst thing I'd ever done, up until now. Taking her life and making her into what I am was probably worse than that, even if she claimed to want it. Was I going to be able to live with myself inflicting this life upon her? She really should go with the dog, it would be better for her. I was just too selfish to live without her though.

"I don't need Jacob as some kind of human safety net, Edward." Was she reading my mind now? "You're the one I want. You're the one I choose. If you don't want me anymore, I won't go running to him. You're the only one for me." Relief washed over me again as I looked into her eyes and saw the truth of her words reflected back at me. Her beautiful face was alight with her love. I still couldn't believe it was for me.

"You mean that, Bella? You don't want to be with Jacob?" I could hear Seth moving around outside, broadcasting loud and clear. Guilt wanted to well up but I squashed that emotion ruthlessly. All's fair in love and war, so the saying goes.

Bella sighed softly, her sweet breath washing through her lips and over me. "Edward, do you know what I was thinking the whole time that he was kissing me?" No, Bella, I didn't and it nearly drove me out of my mind.

"No. I tried to figure it out but I couldn't see your eyes and your face didn't give anything away. It nearly drove me mad wondering what you were feeling." I couldn't stop myself from visualizing that moment, his lips on hers, his hands on her shoulders and in her hair. I cringed against the fury that tried to rise again.

"I was thinking of all the mistakes I'd made. How I'd lead Jake on and how I'd hurt you by trying to fit myself into both of your worlds. I didn't see it, Edward. I didn't realize just how much it hurt you when I snuck off to see him. I thought it was all about my safety but that wasn't it, was it?" I must have been better at hiding my emotions from her than I'd thought if she hadn't caught on to the jealousy that raged through me every time she mentioned his name. I would give her those emotions now, if she really wanted them.

"No, of course not. I did worry about you, naturally. Not being able to know if you were safe or not always upset me, but it was more than that. I knew how he felt about you, so of course I didn't like you being around him. I was afraid he'd take you away from me. Even worse than that, though, was that I didn't know how you felt about him. I knew you cared for him a great deal and even that you loved him, but there's always been a part of me that was afraid you were in love with him." There, I'd let her see some of my insecurities. I realized I was still gripping her wrists and released them so I could wipe the remaining tears from her face. She'd finally stopped crying, which pleased me. I didn't like seeing her beautiful face marred by her sadness.

"Edward, how could I ever be in love with anybody else when I'm so completely in love with you?" That did it, Jacob's rage and pain boiled over and he let out a howl. I bit back a small smile knowing he'd heard it all and knew he'd lost. Then I remembered that it could have been me on the other end of her emotions, I'd been sure it would be. I knew what he was going through and I almost felt sympathetic. "What happened? Did one of the wolves get hurt in battle?" She started to panic, fearing for the safety of her friends.

"Nothing happened, Bella; that was Jacob." She'd find out anyway, there was no use in trying to lie about it.

"Jake? What happened to Jake?"

I couldn't help it, I felt almost guilty that he'd heard this way. "I know you're going to think after what happened a little bit ago that I did this on purpose." And I truly didn't do it on purpose. Yes, I realized that our conversation was not exactly private but I didn't plan it this way. Not like I did earlier when she asked about my favorite nights and I told her us getting engaged was my number one. I knew he was in earshot then and I did it on purpose. This time was more like a lucky coincidence.

"Did what on purpose? What is going on?" Her brows furrowed and she started to look annoyed. She was so cute when she got frustrated.

"He heard what you said, through Seth. He knows that you don't love him, at least not the way he wants you to." I could allow myself to feel sorry for him; since I had won. I truly did not wish him harm, so long as he wasn't kissing my girl and trying to take her from me, that is.

I waited for Bella to freak out like she had this morning and try to go tearing after him to apologize. Watching her face, I didn't see that emotion overtake her though. She looked a little sad and guilty but not tormented like she had this morning. She whispered, "I'm sorry, Jake," but she seemed to be content to stay where she was, with me. I wasn't about to complain about that. Something had changed between now and then.

"Bella, I completely forgot that Seth was even there, I swear." I did, for awhile. It wasn't a lie. "I wasn't trying to fool you into that." This is true; this was not some plan on my part. I was going to delay our conversation until after our loved ones were safe. That didn't stop me from feeling a little guilty, I did know that Seth was broadcasting our conversation, but I didn't notice right away and by then I had to know how she felt. Waiting any longer was not an option. I looked away from her and ran my fingers through my hair as guilt washed over me. I should have stopped her and continued the conversation in private, I knew that.

"I know you didn't." Sweet Bella, now you're giving me the benefit of the doubt. You're far too good for either of us. "I am sorry that Jacob had to hear this way. I owed it to him to sit down and tell him how I feel about him but I owed it to you more to make sure you knew that it was you that I love."

Happiness overtook me again. I swear, I used to have control over my emotions but the instant she walked into that biology room she turned me into a mess. One minute I was up, one minute I was down. Always I was consumed by her. Love for her welled up and I gave her the smile she adored, the lopsided grin that was reserved especially for her. "I love you too, Bella." More than you'll ever know. "I know I'm not good enough for you but I also know that I can't live without you." Truer words would never be spoken.

"I know I freaked out on you about the engagement and the wedding and I'm sorry for that." I searched her face, was she about to say what I thought she was going to say? I ran my hand over my pocket, making sure it was still there. "I let my family hang ups get in the way of what's right with you and me. I was hoping that you would put your mother's ring back on my finger when we get back home? I want everyone to know that I choose you and that you choose me."

I was euphoric. Only a handful of moments in my life had ever felt this good, and of course those moments all involved this woman. The night I heard her same my name in her sleep for the first time, when I realized that I was in love with her and always would be. The first and second times she said she loved me, first in sleep and then cuddled in my arms in the rocker with her head buried against my neck. The moment I realized that she was alive, when she came to Italy and saved me. And the night that she agreed to be my wife. All of those moments were ingrained in my memory and so would this one be. She chose me. Those words were beautiful to me.

There was more we needed to discuss, of course, especially her upcoming transformation, but for now I wanted to enjoy the moment. "Bella, we still have a lot more to talk about before we get married, but I don't want to wait to put the ring back on your finger; we don't have to wait until we get home." I took the ring out of my pocket and placed it where it belonged, on her left ring finger. It slid on as if it had been designed solely for her, as she had for me. There was never a luckier man than I in that moment.

I leaned down and kissed her, ignoring the pervasive odor of dog that lingered on her lips. He wasn't going to ruin this moment for me; for us. Bella, as usual, got a little overexcited and tried to press harder against me. I laughed and pulled away from her, tucking her soft hair behind her ear. "Not that I ever want to quit kissing you, love, but don't you want to know how the fight with the newborns is going?"

It was time for both of us to get back to reality, even though I'd rather stay wrapped in my own personal bubble with her for eternity. There wasn't any urgency anyway, it was over.

Her eyes widened. "I can't believe I forgot all about it. Yes, please tell me what's happening?" She felt guilty for forgetting, I could see that clearly. I should have felt that way but for once the guilt wasn't coming. I was too happy.

"Bella, it's fine. The wolves defeated their half and just met up with my family. They've got a huge fire going and they're burning the pieces. Everybody is perfectly okay." I could see my family now, I watched through Sam's eyes as Emmett and Jasper bumped celebratory fists while Alice danced around them like a ballerina. I was so happy to see them all; even Rose looked like she'd enjoyed herself for once. Esme's face was serene and Carlisle was thanking the wolves for their help. "Leah is favoring her left hind leg, it doesn't look like she got bitten, I think she just twisted it. Carlisle is looking her over and he agrees with that."

Bella looked so relieved in that moment that I couldn't resist scooping her back into my arms and kissing her soundly. "Precious girl, you're safe, they're safe and we're together forever. All is right with the world." I kissed her again and then hauled both of us up. "I think we should head over and meet them, don't you? We have some news to share." I couldn't stop the smile that washed over my face as I picked up her left hand and kissed the ring on her finger.

She grinned back up at me and nodded. "Yes, we do. Come on; let's go tell our family the news. Alice better not beat us to it!" I laughed, for I knew my sister was dying to tell but she wouldn't take that moment away from us. I scooped Bella into my arms and carried her bridal style out of the tent.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a giggle.

"I thought I'd better get some practice for our honeymoon."

She laughed and kicked her feet. "I don't think you need to practice carrying me, but there are some other honeymoon things we could practice…"

"Bella!" I had to cut her off; we didn't need to get into the sex discussion when we were en route to meeting our family and Jacob. "We're not discussing that right now."

She smiled at me slyly. "You're off the hook, for the moment, but we did make a deal."

Like I could forget that. Like the idea of pushing her against a tree and taking her wasn't in the back of my mind right now. I wasn't ready to think about that though so I put my lips to hers, the best way to keep her silent. "Come on, let's go find the family." I put her down and hand in hand we stepped into the woods.


	5. Chapter 5

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 5

BPOV

I looked down at our intertwined hands as we walked into the forest. Edward's index finger kept tracing over the engagement ring like he was reminding himself it was there. I tilted my head up to look at his perfect face and saw a serenity that he rarely possessed. I'm so thankful that he forgave me and I get to keep him in life forever.

"Where's Seth?" It just occurred to me that the wolf had not been outside the tent when we left.

Edward grinned at me. "I think he wanted to get away from us. As soon as the fight was over he took off to join the others." I just bet he did. I shuddered to think of what he must have thought of me. Though he couldn't read my mind, Edward could still often read me. "Love, he didn't think badly of you. He felt bad for all of us really. He hates for Jacob to be hurt but he likes me as well. He pretty much just wishes everything will turn out okay, regardless of who you end up with."

I rolled my eyes. "There was never any doubt who I'd end up with."

He laughed. "Says you."

I pursed my lips at him. "Gah, I wish you could read my mind. You'd never have any doubts when it came to my feelings for you. Of course you probably would have run from me like you did Jessica Stanley and all her fantasies…" He winced and I couldn't continue the thought because I started laughing so hard. My laugh cut off abruptly when he scooped me back up and plopped me on his back unexpectedly. It's a lot like being on a roller coaster when he moves at his nonhuman speed. It used to scare me but now it excited me.

"Your fantasies wouldn't have scared me, young lady. They would have inspired me."

"You work on that inspiration then, sweetheart. You have a honeymoon to plan after all." Ha, I know that's going to freak him out. Really, I don't know what he's so worried about. He has the self control of one of those Tibetan monks we read about in class. Getting under his skin occasionally is a lot of fun. Edward's skin…

"Bella," he huffed. I giggled and leaned forward to nibble on his ear. "Stop it, you're distracting me."

"Distracting you from what? The fight is over." No sooner had I spoken those words than Edward's cell phone began to chirp. "Alice, has to be. Her and her timing."

Edward chuckled and answered the phone. "Hello, Alice; Bella wants to thank you for your stellar timing, as always. I assume everything went well?" Since he insisted on holding his phone to the ear I'd been nibbling, I switched over to the right side instead. His body tensed up and I felt a surge of triumph go through me. I could excite him.

"What do you mean, she wasn't there?" Oh, so it wasn't me then. Wait a minute, who is she? Victoria? They didn't get Victoria? "Did you catch her scent anywhere?" The tension had seeped from his body into his voice and I could hear a hint of his growl. That figures, just when everything started to make sense in the world we get sucked right back into drama. I'm so sick of the drama. Why doesn't he just bite me now and we can get on with our lives? "We'll be right there." He snapped his phone shut and shifted me higher on his back. "Hold on, Bella, we're going to hurry up and join the others. I don't like the idea that Victoria might be lurking around here. I don't hear her but she's been blocking both me and Alice for awhile now."

He took off and everything around me blurred. I saw flashes of green and white from the snow covered leaves but couldn't make anything out beyond color. I usually loved this feeling of freedom, flying across the ground on Edward's back but now I was too busy worrying that Victoria was going to pop out of nowhere and take us both down. Panic started to well up and I tried to shove it down. She was greatly outnumbered now, with all the wolves and vampires roaming the forest. We'll be fine. Nothing to worry about, Bella, I told myself.

Edward's head suddenly cocked toward the right and he came to a complete stop. How could he go from 100 to 0 like that? My face mashed up against the back of his head as my body tried to adjust to the lack of momentum. I wasn't about to complain about having my face buried in his beautiful bronze hair though. "Edward, what…"

"Shh, I hear something." Okay, did he hear something with his ears or with his mind? It was so frustrating having these weak human senses around all these creatures that could pick up on so much more. I couldn't hear a thing. His cell phone chirped again and I knew this couldn't be a good thing.

"Alice, you don't have to warn me, I hear her now. She's close. What do you see?" He listened to her for a few seconds while his eyes scanned the area to our west. "Will any of you make it here in time?" Oh God, she was coming and it was just Edward and me. I couldn't help it, I started shaking. Victoria was crazy and she wanted nothing more than to kill me in front of Edward. It seemed she'd get her chance. "What do you mean, the vision disappears? At least one of the wolves must get here then. Just keep moving; maybe you will get here in time too." He sounded calm but I could hear the fear in his voice. No doubt that was fear over me, he could handle himself just fine and he knew it. He snapped his phone closed and gently pulled me off his back.

"Bella," his eyes burned into mine, trying to calm me. "Everything will be fine. I will protect you, I swear it." I didn't doubt him; I couldn't when he was looking at me as if I was the only thing that mattered in the world. It took everything I had in me but I stopped shaking and nodded at him.

"Okay, what do you want me to do?" I had to do something, didn't I?

He took me by the shoulders and placed me in front of a large elm tree. "Just stand here. Don't move. Do not worry about me, I can handle myself. If you move, I'll get distracted and something could happen to you. If anything happens to me, just start running, hopefully the others will get here in time."

"What do you mean if anything happens to you?" I shrieked in pure terror now. "Did Alice see something? You are not going to die for me, Edward. Just bite me now and she won't have any reason to keep after me." It was the perfect solution.

"What good would that do, Bella? You'll just be incapacitated and she could take you apart with no effort at all. Don't be ridiculous. Stay here, I don't have time to argue with you about this." He whirled around and faced west again. "Victoria…I hear you. I smell you. Why don't you come out and we'll finish this once and for all."

Finally I saw her. That bright red hair stood out against the snowy backdrop as she moved purposefully toward us from about a hundred feet away. Her stunning face was twisted with hatred. Her blood tinged red eyes glowed. "You've ruined all my fun, Edward. Your family and those foul creatures took all my toys away." Amazingly she sounded like a preschooler who'd lost her favorite Barbie doll.

Edward's laugh was chilling. "That they did, Victoria. And now you're quite outnumbered. Are you ready to join your beloved James?"

At the mention of his name she let out a shriek of outrage. Then her eyes narrowed and she smiled the most blood curdling smile I'd ever seen. "But I'm not exactly outnumbered am I? From where I'm standing it looks like even odds, unless your little human is of any use against me?" Yeah, I'm useless, Victoria, go ahead and rub it in. Someday soon you won't be able to say that about me, provided I do get out of this alive. "I can't wait to taste her, Edward. I'll be sure you're still alive to see me do it." She was about 25 feet away now, distance easily covered in one leap for her. I was frozen against the tree at her words and the rage on her face.

Edward's voice was a purr now. "I don't need any help to take you out. It will be a pleasure to end you." I shivered. His voice was so cold, so un-Edward-like. "I've waited to get the opportunity to take you on for a long time now."

She smiled seductively and let her tongue trace slowly over her lip. "No more waiting, Edward. I'm hungry and your little girlfriend is going to make a lovely meal."

A guttural growl came out of his throat. I'd never heard Edward sound so savage. He took a step forward and motioned to Victoria to come closer. "Here's your chance. See if you can get through me."

At his words, she bent into a crouch and threw herself forward. He did the same and their bodies crashed together with a sound like thunder. They both fell to the ground, landing perfectly on their feet despite the powerful crash. She leapt on him and seemed to be trying to get him into some kind of bear hug but he broke that hold and twisted her arm. Oh my god, he didn't twist it, he pulled it right off. She screamed and used her left arm to throw him into a tree about 10 feet away. I braced myself to push away from the tree and run to him but he was up before I could even think about moving.

He ran at Victoria in a blur of speed and all I could hear was growling and crashing. Their movements were too fast for me to focus on. I couldn't tell who was winning. My attention was diverted by the sight of Victoria's arm inching along the ground toward the two of them. It was macabre and fascinating all at the same time. When had I wandered into a B zombie movie?

The crashing of limbs continued. Was he alright? He still had all his body parts, apparently, so that had to be a good thing. I would hold on to that because I would lose my mind if he were to be hurt. Even if I died right after, the moments between his death and mine would be endless pain. Their bodies shifted and she was closer to me, Edward facing me now. His eyes were completely black. He had never looked more like a hunter, a killer even. The first time he smelled me in Biology had brought out the beast inside him but this was more. This was primal. I finally had a glimpse of the monster that he always claimed to be. This must be what he looked like when he hunted. I'd always wanted to see him hunt, sure that he must be so beautiful and graceful. Indeed, he still was. He was just deadly as well.

The battle continued but it felt like he was looking at me with those deep black eyes. I couldn't look away if I'd wanted to. Victoria's other arm came off with a grinding noise. Edward wrapped his arms around her torso and held her to him. He lowered his head and ran his teeth across her throat. Her head came off with a popping sound. I just stood there, frozen in place. He wasn't looking at me anymore; he turned away and went about pulling her apart. Suddenly I saw one of the wolves come up with one of Victoria's arms, throwing it on the pile Edward was making. When did he get here? I tore my eyes away from the carnage and saw that they were all there. Alice was standing next to me and I didn't even notice.

"When…when did you guys show up?" My voice was almost breathy, like I'd been the one fighting.

Alice let out a trilling laugh. "Just a minute ago. Edward had it under control so we just let him handle it. He's wanted to take her out for a long time." She looked at me with a glint in her golden eyes. "Did you get yourself an eyeful, Bella?"

"Uh, yeah, you could say that."

She studied my face for a minute and an impish smile lit up hers. "You actually liked it, didn't you?"

I was not answering that question. I was not going to tell my future sister in law that watching her brother dismember a woman had excited me deep down inside. How could I have found that erotic? What was wrong with me?

She snickered at me. "You were made to be a vampire!"

"What does that mean?"

"It means that watching Jasper when he hunts gets me hot, Bella. That's what watching Edward did to you, I can see it on your face!" I felt my tell-tale blush spread across my cheeks.

"Alice…" I hissed, hoping to get her to shut up before Edward heard. As if she'd just remembered that we weren't alone she giggled.

"The forest has ears, Bella. We'll talk about it later." I looked up and saw several pairs of eyes staring at me. Rosalie was biting her lip to suppress her laughter but Emmett wasn't even trying. He was on the ground laughing so hard that he was silent. If vampires could cry tears would be running down his face right now. Esme was smiling at me gently. Jasper had turned away but his shoulders were moving up and down. He was laughing too. Carlisle was talking to Sam. At least someone in the Cullen family knew how to give a girl privacy when she was embarrassing herself.

The wolves, at least seemed to be going about their business, helping Edward gather all the writhing body parts and dump them into the fire he'd started. Well, all but one wolf that is. How I had not been aware of his stare was beyond me. I felt like holes were being drilled into my head. "Jacob." I took a step toward him but he shook his head and backed away from me. The look in his eyes ripped at my heart. "Jake," I had to try again. "Please, can we talk?" He looked at me and shook his head again, then turned and walked away.

"Bella." I turned my head. Edward was back by my side, his eyes had returned to their normal golden shade now that the fight was over. "He can't talk to you now. He'd have to phase back to human form and he has no clothes here right now. Also, he doesn't really want an audience." Edward looked sheepish again. "He figures they've heard enough of your private thoughts for the day."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess that's a good point. Thanks for telling me what he was thinking, I know it isn't your favorite thing to do. I am going to have to go talk to him, Edward. I owe him that much."

He looked into my eyes for a long moment. "I understand that, Bella. I'd want the opportunity to hear you out if it was me."

I couldn't stop myself from smiling at him. I know just how hard it is for him when I go off alone with Jake, but now he was sure enough of my love that he wasn't going to let it bother him. Well, he wasn't going to let him bother him _that_ much. Knowing him, he'd still obsess over it. I stretched my arms over his head and stood on tiptoe to kiss him with all I had in me. He was safe. I was safe. Victoria was dead. He returned my kiss, gripping me tight around the waist and pulling me closer to him.

"You're really not afraid of me, are you?" He asked, sounding awed.

"Of course not!"

"Watching me do that to her didn't disturb you at all?" His eyes had a wicked glint.

"You heard what Alice said, didn't you?" I shouted, turning bright red again.

"I sure did, fiancée of mine." His smile lit up his whole face.

"Fiancée?" Emmett's big hand clapped down on Edward's shoulder and nearly caused his knees to buckle. "You two are getting hitched?"

Edward turned to me and cocked his eyebrow. "Yes, Emmett. We got engaged." I held up my left hand.

"Welcome to the family, little sis!" Emmett boomed, picking me up and twirling me around.

"Put me down," I managed to choke out between giggles. He did and I stumbled into Esme's waiting arms.

"Now you'll officially be my daughter, I couldn't be happier." Love was shining out of her eyes.

Jasper was the next to come up to me. He shifted uncomfortably and then reached out and took my hand. He lowered his head and brought his lips within in an inch of my hand before tensing up. "Congratulations," he said softly before moving quickly away. It was still so hard on him to be around me.

Rose's face showed her disapproval. She still didn't understand how I could want to be a vampire. Well, she didn't have to. I knew what was right for me and this was it.

Carlisle came over and took my hands. "We've always considered you to be a part of the family, Bella, but I want you to know how proud we'll be to have you be a Cullen."

I was truly overcome by his words. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I whispered, "Thank you, Carlisle, I can't wait to be a Cullen."

Edward wrapped me in his arms. "I guess you know what you're getting into." I did, more now than ever, but it was still what I wanted. My new life was beginning.


	6. Chapter 6

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 6

A/N Yeah, we've officially ended the portion where I'm doing the same scenes with different viewpoints. While I would really like to stagger each chapter; this one has to be in Bella's point of view. Edward is not going to be around to observe her conversation with Jake and that needs to be done here so I can get on to bigger and better things. We'll hear from Edward next chapter, I promise!

BPOV

Though I would have much rather stayed wrapped in Edward's strong arms, there were things I had to do. Not that facing Jacob and telling my parents I was getting married were high on my priority list, but I'd rather get the yelling done in one foul swoop. This was turning out to be quite the day.

Before I could ask Edward to get me back to my truck, Alice descended upon me like she did a sale at Macy's. "Bella, we have to talk wedding plans! I've got magazines and several bridal books at home, and I'll show you the design I have for your dress. We need to talk themes and the venue…" Dear lord, she was off at a mile a minute. I had to nip this in the bud.

"Alice!" She stopped her rapid speech and stared at me with beseeching eyes. I had to hold up a hand before she launched into one of her classic guilt trips. "Look, we both know that you're going to plan this whole wedding with no input from me. If I gave you input, you would turn around and do what you wanted anyway, so how about we save us both some time and you just do whatever needs to be done and tell me when I need to show up."

Her pixie face scrunched up for a moment as she thought that over. That or she was tapping into her visions to see if what I said was accurate. Her face cleared and she smiled at me in one of her irresistible grins. "Yep, that's exactly how it would go. Maybe you're going to be a psychic when you change too!"

"It doesn't take a psychic to see you're going to get your way no matter what I say or do. I just have a couple of requests."

"Yes, what are those?" Like she didn't already know.

"You have a month." A month shouldn't give her enough time to turn the wedding into the sideshow she'd no doubt like it to be. Alice nodded patiently. "Keep it small. We don't need to invite half of Forks. I only know a handful of people, that's plenty." She made a face at that one and gave me another nod, albeit a more reluctant one. "And finally, I'm not dressing up in a huge, poofy dress that would have me knocking over guests along with myself."

She giggled at that one. "Not a problem, the dress I've designed will be perfect, you'll see!"

I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile at her enthusiasm. "Then off with you, little one. I'm sure you have plenty to do."

Her eyes got impossibly brighter and she gripped me in a tight hug. "Just wait and see; it'll be perfect! Esme, Rose! We have to get home; we have a wedding to plan." Esme clapped her hands while Rose muttered something about not having anything to do with it. Edward glowered at his sister and she shrugged back at him before turning to follow the others home.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing, letting her loose, Bella?" Edward looked even more pale than usual, if that was possible.

"What, are you afraid of what she'll do? Isn't this easier than you and I picking out flowers and going cake tasting?"

He chuckled. "You're right. It's just her mind was whirling with possibilities and I'm afraid we'll have a wedding to rival that of Princess Di and Prince Charles." I can't say that I knew what their wedding was like but I did know the idea of us having a wedding like royalty was frightening.

"But I said small!"

"Don't worry, Bella, I'll rein her in somehow."

"Thank you," I whispered fervently. He'd had years going head to head with Alice; better him than me trying to keep her controlled.

"Edward, can you take me to my truck? I really need to go talk to Jake." I was hesitant to ask him again but I wanted to get this done and I was sure he wanted it as well.

Some of the jubilance fell off his face and his eyes tightened as he flexed his jaw but he nodded. "Can I ask you something, though?" I nodded for him to continue. "Is it okay if I wait near the border so I can meet you after you're done, just to make sure you're alright?"

"Of course." He looked relieved so I decided to take the rug out from underneath him a little. "After all, we need to go tell Charlie about the wedding when I'm done." Nerves rippled over his face but he covered them quickly.

"Yes, I guess we do. But I think Charlie might surprise you; he doesn't hate me as much as he did."

"We'll see how he feels about you after our news, won't we?"

He frowned at me and then brightened. "I'll just ask Alice how it's going to go!"

I poked him in the side, which meant that I bent my finger back and he barely felt anything. "You're such a cheater."

He smiled his devastating smile. "I just believe in getting the advantage by using whatever I have at my disposal. What's so wrong with that?"

I remembered his little smile when he told me that Seth had been sending our conversation to the rest of the wolves. "Oh, I know you do, Edward Cullen." His grin turned mischievous. He knew he'd been caught but he was unrepentant for now. "Let's go, we'll get to see that whole bullet proof thing in action all the sooner."

He laughed and threw me on his back; taking off running as soon as I was secure. My stomach started to knot the closer we got to his house. I hated knowing what I was about to do. This was one of those few times that I wished Edward was an ordinary human so I could delay the inevitable a little longer. But no, I had to fall for the fastest vampire of the bunch and we were back at the house in no time. He gently placed me back on the ground and pushed my hair out of my face.

"Bella, I know how hard this is going to be on you. I wish I could be there with you but I understand it's something you have to do alone. Just remember, I'll be waiting for you right next to the boundary line." His support meant the world to me and I leaned up to give him a soft kiss.

"I love you, Edward Cullen."

"As I love you, Bella Swan, soon to be Cullen." His face glowed every time he thought of that. I wished he could have such happiness all the time. Maybe once we were together forever I could bring him that. I hoped so. I pulled away and climbed into the ancient red truck that Jacob had restored for me. He put it back together much like had me all those months ago. I remembered the day that he and Billy brought it over to my house; my first day in Forks. I'd been so excited, not just because I got a car but because I realized that I had a friend in this town where I knew no one. I remembered my disappointment when he told me he went to school on the reservation. We'd managed to become best friends anyway. It hurt so much to know that I had damaged our friendship. I could only hope that someday he'd forgive me.

I waved to Edward and headed out to La Push, thoughts of all my times with Jacob flashing through my mind. I remembered the campfires on the beach; the thrill I felt riding a motorcycle next to him; all those endless days I spent in his garage watching him work on his VW Bug. Those were all good times but it wasn't really about what we'd been doing, it was about how he'd made me feel. He'd been my sun, bringing warmth into my cold dead existence.

I pulled up outside of Jake's old house and turned off the truck. I sat there for a few minutes trying to find the strength and the courage to go face my best friend. I dragged myself from the car and was turning to walk up to the house when Billy opened the door. He didn't meet my eyes and I knew he knew what had happened.

"Hello, Bella." His gravelly voice was even rougher than it usually was.

"Hi, Billy. I need to talk to Jake. Is he here?"

He just looked at me for a minute. I had to resist the urge to shuffle my feet like a five year old who'd been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Billy sighed. "He's over at the beach. He said you'd be coming and that you'd know where to find him."

"Thanks, Billy. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry." I know Billy and my father had high hopes that Jake and I would fall in love and get married and give them grandchildren. Well, I'm sorry but I couldn't fall in line and it wasn't fair to try to make me. Billy just nodded and wheeled back into the house, closing the door quietly.

I turned and followed the path from the house to the beach. How many times had Jake and I walked this path in the year or so I'd been coming here? I couldn't begin to count. I could even manage to walk it without stumbling, that's how well I knew the route. I passed the lush green trees and soon found sand beneath my feet. I looked to the left and there was Jacob, sitting on the sand leaning against the large rock that had been our spot. I could see that he knew the instant I stepped on the beach, his shoulders grew tight and his hands gripped into fists on his knees. He didn't look in my direction though; he kept his eyes on the water. His slightly shaggy hair ruffled in the light breeze. I couldn't believe he'd been growing it out for me. There was so much I hadn't seen.

"Jake." He didn't acknowledge me, just kept his almost black eyes trained on the green swells of the waves washing upon the shore. Alright, he wasn't going to make it easy on me. I didn't deserve to have it easy anyway. I walked over and plopped down beside him, facing the water myself. I couldn't sit still the way he was though; I picked up handfuls of sand and watch them slip through my fingers. It felt pretty symbolic for my friendship with Jake at this moment. He was going to slip away unless I found some magic way to fix things.

I chanced a glance at his face. His eyes were tinged with red; he'd been crying. Guilt spiked within me again. I'd made the boy who stopped my tears cry his own. I am a terrible person. His face was hard; his jaw locked and his lips pressed together as if he was trying to keep himself from speaking.

"You don't have to talk. I just want you to listen." He cocked his head and I took that as a sign to continue. "Jake, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for so many things that I don't even know how to apologize for all of them."

His eyes flashed then. "Try." It was more of a growl than a comment but it was progress so I'd take it. "I'm sorry that I don't love you the way you love me." He flinched as if I'd slapped him. I had to keep going. "I'm sorry that you heard the way you did. That was completely unfair and you deserved better than that." I waited but he wasn't going to say anything else right now. "I'm sorry that I used you. I let you put me back together and I saw what you were starting to feel but I didn't do anything to stop you. I just let you grow closer and closer to me even though I knew I could never give you what you wanted." His head dropped down then and I feared he was going to start crying. I didn't think I could handle watching that.

His head snapped up and his eyes blazed into mine. "That's all your sorry for?" Disbelief tinged his words. I cringed away from the anger in his face and voice.

"What more is there? Isn't that enough? I was horrible to you, Jake. I kept encouraging you by running to you. I knew what you felt, though I tried to deny it to keep myself comfortable around you."

"How about apologizing for what you're about to do, Bella?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You're going to become one of _them._" Hatred tinged his words.

"I'm not sorry about that." I'd take anything he wanted to dish out but I wasn't going to apologize for my choice. I deserved his anger for many things, but not that.

"You're not only choosing him; you're choosing to become the thing that I hate the most. You're becoming my enemy!" He was screaming now, leaning closer to me. The fist he'd been making with his right hand when I showed up shot out and punched the rock.

"Jake, your hand!" The crunching sound his hand made as it struck the stone was a familiar one. He'd broken it.

"Whatever, Bella, it'll heal. I can't really feel it along with everything else."

If he wasn't going to do anything about his hand, I would. I reached over to take it but he jerked away from me. "Don't touch me. I wouldn't want you to do anything you didn't want to do."

I sighed. Clearly he was referring to our kiss. I couldn't really apologize for that either though. I didn't want to kiss him; I kissed him to keep him from hurting himself. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, Jacob." That was all encompassing and he could take it however he wanted.

"You choose to be with the_ bloodsucker_ rather than me."

"Yes." I wasn't going to acknowledge his derogatory term towards Edward right now. It made me mad but I was used to that term coming from him and the rest of the pack.

"Why? How can you love a monster like him?"

That I wasn't going to stand for. "He's not a monster, Jake. He's a wonderful person."

"Person? You're stretching the word a bit, aren't you?" He laughed harshly.

"Jake, I'll listen to you rail on me all day but I will not listen to you insult Edward. If that's all you're going to do we can end this conversation right now." Nobody made me as angry as Jake did. He had a special talent for it.

"Alright then, why do you love _Edward_? What can he possibly give you that I can't?"

I couldn't help it, I laughed. "You want me to tell you why I love him? How long do you have?"

"Nice, Bells. Dig the knife in a little bit more why don't you?"

"I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm just telling you that explaining my love for Edward is not easily done and I don't know why you'd want to listen to it anyway. Wouldn't that be twisting the knife even more?"

"Maybe. I'm just trying to understand you."

"I don't know how to explain it, Jake. But maybe I can put it into terms you'll understand. Edward is my imprint Jake. It's always been him for me, it always will be. I can't live without him."

He snorted. "You can't really live with him either, can you? You have to die to be with him." Disgust laced his voice.

"I don't have to die to be with him. I choose to change to be with him, so we can have forever. It's not something you could possibly understand." This conversation was going off tangent in a major way. I just wanted to apologize and ask for his forgiveness, not explain my life and death choice to him.

"Of course it's not something I could understand, Bella. No sane person could understand a choice like that!" He was shouting again, vibrating with his rage. At least he wasn't trying to punch anything.

"I don't know about that, Jake, a lot of people would be intrigued by the thought of immortality. And immortality combined with the person you love forever? It might tempt more people than you can imagine."

He just stared at me as if I'd grown two heads. His jaw opened and shut several times as he tried to find a way to address me after that statement. What, I happened to think it was true. I know my choice made no sense to him but I am sure it would make sense to some people, if they were allowed to know about vampires and werewolves and whatnot. "I really don't know what to say to you. That's absolutely insane."

"So I'm insane. Let's move on." Seriously, I was done with this aspect of the discussion.

"What is there to move on to?"

"Oh, I don't know, how about the things I actually came here to apologize for?" Great, now I was getting sarcastic. This was productive.

"Alright then, Bells. Get to it. Unburden your mind so you can head off to your death with a clear conscience."

I gasped. I couldn't help it. This wasn't the boy I'd spent countless hours with. Did he even exist anymore? Had I broken him entirely?

Jake looked at me and I swear I saw a flash of remorse before his face hardened again. My Jacob was in there, he was just buried deep underneath the anger and pain. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Jake. I never meant to hurt you. You're the last person to deserve that." I was crying now. I'm surprised I held off for as long as I did, the anger helped obviously.

He stared at me impassively. "Don't apologize for not loving me."

"What?"

"Don't apologize for not loving me. You can't make yourself love someone; you can't make yourself not love someone either. I know that all too well." His voice broke as he talked about making yourself not love someone.

"Maybe not, but I can apologize for not addressing it with you when I first realized that you had feelings for me. There was a time, when he was gone, that I thought about giving in and being with you just to make you happy. But that wouldn't have been fair of me, and I would have hurt you eventually anyway."

He nodded. "I guess I can be thankful for that anyway. I wouldn't want to be more hurt than I am already."

"I truly am sorry that I encouraged your feelings, Jake. You made me so happy and I just let myself enjoy it without considering what you were feeling. I turned a blind eye because it was easier than confronting something I couldn't handle at the time."

"I knew you didn't love me the way that I did you, Bella. I think you could have loved me, eventually, if he hadn't come back. But he did and that was it. I kept fighting because I hoped that you'd realize that having a life with me would be better than having a death with him. But you don't get it and there's nothing more I can do. I can't fight anymore and there's nothing to fight for anyway."

"I'm glad that you thought enough of me to want to fight for me, Jake. It means a lot that you care that much." My tears had stopped flowing. His anger seemed to have seeped out of him leaving him spent. I hated that but it was better than the anger. "I really do want to apologize that you had to hear Edward's and my conversation that way. I didn't mean for that to happen. Neither of us realized it until it was too late."

He laughed bitterly then. "Neither of you did? Please, Bells, we both know Count Dracula knew I would hear." I wanted to defend Edward but I suspected that Jake was right and Edward's smile earlier had all but confirmed it.

"Even if he did, it wasn't something we planned. He tried to get me to stop talking so he could monitor the fight but I had to make sure he knew how I felt; just like I had to come here and make sure you knew how I felt. I couldn't leave either of you without an explanation."

"Well thanks for that. It's been a real laugh." I hoped he wouldn't always sound so bitter.

"Jake, someday…"

He cut me off. "Don't you start talking about someday, _Bella_. I don't want to hear about what might happen for me someday." The way he said my name; it lacked the affection he usually had in his tone. Was I no longer Bells?

"I'm just saying, we know you didn't imprint on me so…"

"Enough!" he erupted. The anger was back now. I am an idiot. "Just because I didn't imprint on you doesn't mean you get to diminish my feelings. I LOVE YOU. Maybe "someday" I will find someone I love more and in a different way, but for now I love you and you don't love me. I have to deal with that. Don't make it out to be less just to make yourself feel better." He actually used air quotes when he said someday. He was royally pissed at me.

"You're right, Jake. I was not trying to diminish what you feel for me, I swear it."

"Maybe not, but you were trying to make yourself feel better by imagining me being happy somewhere down the road, weren't you?" Guilty as charged. The imprinting thing had been my fall back move and he'd seen right through it.

My face flushed with shame. "You're right. I'm sorry." That was Bella's phrase of the day. How many times had I uttered those words today to the love of my life and now my best friend? "Will you ever forgive me?"

He looked at me then. He just sat and looked at me for what felt like hours but was probably just a minute. "I can forgive you for some things, Bella. I can forgive you for not loving me, as I said, that's not something you could help. I can forgive you for how I heard that you didn't love me; it wasn't something you were aware of." I breathed a sigh of relief.

"But I can't forgive you for the choice you're making." My relief was premature. "I can't sit back and watch you become the thing I was born to hate, Bella."

"So you're saying that you'll no longer be my friend?" The tears started to flow again. I suspected this would happen but that didn't make it any easier to hear.

"You won't be my friend anymore. You won't be Bella." His face was desolate. This caused him more pain than anything else I had done.

"I'm sorry you feel that way but I understand it." I managed to choke the words out. "I guess this is goodbye then?" I didn't want it to be. He was still the best friend that I'd ever had.

"It has to be." His voice was so sad. He looked back toward the water for a moment before turning to face me one more time. "Goodbye, Bells. I'll always love you." His voice was laced with sadness and finality. It felt like I was already gone.

I couldn't speak anymore and I couldn't stay there. I nodded and kissed him on the cheek, a few of my tears following from my lips and continuing down his face. He didn't even acknowledge that I did it. I stood and stumbled my way through the sand and along the path back to my truck. I climb in and threw it in drive and headed back towards Edward, towards home. I pulled over on a side road before I got to the border though. I couldn't let him see me like this. I rested my head against the steering wheel and cried for the loss of my best friend and for the pain I'd caused him.

After awhile the tears stopped flowing and I leaned back in the seat. I looked in the rearview mirror and wiped my face as best I could. Edward would know I'd been crying but he would have expected that anyway. I wasn't going to let him see me cry over Jake though; he'd been hurt enough too. All I'd done lately was hurt the ones I loved and that was stopping here and now. I put the car back in drive and headed to where he was waiting for me.

There he was, pacing back and forth in front of a few trees. He was almost a blur he was moving so quickly. I stopped the truck and slid out and ran over to him. He stopped and threw his arms around me.

"Bella, I was so worried about you. I hated knowing you were hurting and I couldn't be there." He tilted my face back and looked into my eyes. "Are you alright?" His fingers tenderly stroked my cheeks, as if to wipe off the tears that had recently been there.

"I will be." And I would. I knew, despite all the pain, that I had made the right choice. I _had_ to be with him. He kissed me gently and pulled back, running his hands down my arms to link his fingers with mine. He lifted my hand to kiss it and then stopped abruptly.

"Edward? What's the matter?"

He looked up and his eyes looked deadly. "He injured you?"

"What? No, he didn't injure me." What was he talking about?

"He put his hands on you?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"No, Edward, he didn't touch me. He punched a rock and probably broke his hand but…"

"Then where did these marks come from on your wrists, Bella?" His voice shook with rage and he looked into the distance, like he was ready to run into La Push and go after Jacob. I glanced at my wrists and then remembered. Oh no. Telling him wasn't going to make things any easier but I couldn't have him breaking the treaty and going into La Push, which was just what he'd do in a minute.

"Edward, Jacob didn't do that to me. You did."


	7. Chapter 7

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 7

EPOV

Bella was talking but I didn't hear a word she said. All my focus was on those purple marks around her wrists. He had damaged her. I warned him the last time, when he brought her home with a broken knuckle. It didn't matter that she'd injured herself by hitting him; he'd kissed her against her will. But this time he'd put his hands on her. A rage unlike any I had ever known coursed through me. This time I would kill Jacob Black.

My mind catalogued all the possible ways to destroy him. I would not be merciful and snap his neck; that was too quick. I'd pound him into the ground, breaking every bone in his body. I'd rip off every limb, starting with fingers and toes before I worked my way up to bigger bones. Jacob Black would know pain.

I was dimly aware of Bella pulling on my hand as I started to walk toward the boundary line that kept the peace between our families. Treaties meant nothing now. All that mattered in the world was that he had marred my Bella's lovely skin. She was so fragile, so breakable. That he could cause her any physical pain infuriated me.

Bella's tugs on my hand started to get more insistent. She was what was important here. I had to get out of my head for a minute and make sure she stayed. I couldn't let her see what I would do to her former friend. I stopped and looked into her face. Her eyes were bright with panic and tears were falling down her cheeks again. She knew, then. She knew what I was about to do.

"Bella, love, I know you're frightened but everything will be alright. I just have to drive the point home to Jacob that he's never to touch you again." There, that didn't sound too threatening, right? I couldn't stop the tightness in my voice but maybe she didn't hear that.

"Edward, Jacob didn't hurt me."

"Maybe it didn't hurt; Bella, but he still put marks on you. I cannot let that go unpunished, not again." Didn't she see? He'd caused her pain and he had to pay. I'd warned him.

"No, Edward, you don't understand." Her face was tight and she looked loathe to speak whatever words she had planned. "Jacob didn't put these bruises on my wrists."

"What? Who did then?" Who'd had their hands on her? We'd been together up until she crossed the border line.

Her voice lowered to a whisper. "You did."

_I did? _When had I hurt her? How could I? I would never. It wasn't possible. My mind flew through our every interaction. I hadn't grasped her wrists when I pulled her onto my back to run, had I? No, I lifted her by the waist. I'd carried her out of the tent. _The tent_. Oh my God. I'd grabbed her wrists in the tent when she was telling me about kissing Jacob. I injured her. Me. I had lost control of myself. I broke my most important promise to her. I'd wounded her with my strength.

"Edward, I'm fine. It didn't even hurt." Of course she would say that; Bella always put others before herself. All my rage at Jacob drained. I wish I could use my plans for him on myself but it wasn't physically possible. Perhaps I could just step over the line and let the wolves at me? No, that would injure Bella too. I was a champion at hurting Bella at this point.

I couldn't look at her, so I stared at the dusty earth. "I think you should go back to Jacob and tell him you've changed your mind. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to have you, even after today."

"Edward that is the most ridiculous thing you've ever said to me. I am not going to Jacob and I'm not going to let you ruin us because you left a couple of marks on my skin. I AM FINE!"

"_Fine? _It's not fine for me to harm you. It's all I ever do." It was true too, I either got her attacked by hungry vampires or I left her heartbroken. Why in the world does she even want me?

She grabbed my face and forced me to look back at her again. I don't know how she can even stand to look at me after what I did. "Edward Cullen. You listen to me and you listen good. All they are is a few bruises. I bruise myself almost daily, you know that. This is _nothing." _No, Bella, wounding you is a lot more than nothing. It's the worst thing I could do. "I've been hurt way more than this before."

"Yes, and that was because of me as well. Can't you see what a monster I am? I'm not good enough for you." It slipped out before I could stop myself.

"MONSTER?" Yep, she was in a full on rage now. I don't know what perverse part of me was able to find that amusing despite all the anger I felt at myself in that moment, but there really was nothing more beautiful and fascinating than Bella when she was angry. She took heaving breaths trying to calm down enough to speak. Her face was bright red, not the cute blush she constantly wore but a crimson mask of rage. "My father gave me a bruise last week when he was brushing by me in the kitchen and I got knocked into the counter. Is he a monster?"

"No, of course not. That's not remotely the same thing. I put my hands on you and I caused you pain."

"You did not cause me pain. I would have told you if you caused me pain. I would have winced or cried out if it had hurt. Stop making this bigger than it has to be, Edward. It was an accident."

Didn't she get it? Didn't she what I could do to her without even realizing it? "Bella, if I did this to you once, I could do it again…"

She wasn't having it. "You were upset. A human male could have bruised me just as easily at that time. You, in typical fashion, are overreacting. I'm not listening to it anymore. We have to go and tell my dad we're getting married. Are you coming?"

"You still want to get married?" I could not believe she was still wanted to marry me after everything I'd done to her.

"Are we going to have this conversation again? I said yes, I meant yes, get in the car." She was so cute, ordering me around. I had to laugh.

"You're so stubborn."

"Lucky for you I am." Yes, I am the luckiest being on earth. I don't doubt that for a second.

"Alright, I'm coming, but this conversation is not over and I'm driving." Bella heaved a sigh but hopped in the passenger side. It wasn't over either. We had to have a talk about this condition she forced me to agree to in order to get her to marry me. No way could I attempt to make love to her now, I'd kill her for sure.

The ride to Bella's house was fairly quiet as Bella stared out the window and I lost myself in my thoughts. Imagining making love to her filled me with the usual desire and terror that it always did. I wanted it more than I could say but I didn't think I would be able to control myself; not with her so beautiful and soft beneath me. My body began responding to that image a little too prominently for my liking seeing as we were about to go face her father; a man who owned several weapons. Not that those could hurt me but it was still pretty daunting. Being nervous was not something I usually felt but as usual, Bella brought out the humanity in me more than anyone ever had.

Despite the truck's inability to go about 55 miles per hour, we were at her house in no time. Charlie's cruiser was in the drive so there was no delaying the inevitable. I glanced over at Bella and she didn't look any more anxious than I did to go in. "For all your talk earlier, you don't seem quite ready to go tell Charlie you're going to be a blushing bride."

She scowled at me. "I'm ready; you're the one who doesn't seem ready." She squared her shoulders and got out of the truck before I could go around and get the door for her. I laced my fingers through hers and took a deep breath. I really do feel like a 17 year old human right now. It's highly disconcerting. Bella shifted from foot to foot next to me but didn't move forward at all. Clearly I had to take that first step.

"Bella, I love you. Let's go." Her eyes brightened at my words. I lifted her hand and kissed her wrist. "I am sorry you know."

"I know. No more, it's over." She tugged our hands down and led the way to her house. We walked in the entrance and Bella called, "Dad?"

"In here, Bells." Charlie was in the living room watching SportsCenter. I couldn't read him as clearly as I could most humans; it was from him that Bella got her silent mind apparently, but I could get a read on his moods and he seemed content. That is until he saw me walk into the room holding his daughters hand. I was used to it though; he hadn't forgiven me for leaving her last fall. That's alright, I hadn't forgiven me either. "Hello, Edward." Well at least he said hello to me, that was more than I usually got.

"Hi, Charlie." Bella kept shifting from foot to foot, if she wasn't careful she was going to trip. I pulled her towards the couch, it'd probably be better if we were all sitting for this conversation. Although standing had its benefits, it would take me half a second less to run if need be. God, I was being so melodramatic, it's not like he could actually physically hurt me. Charlie's mental tone went from grudging acceptance of my presence to suspicion due to Bella's obvious nervousness.

"What's going on, Bells?" He straightened up in his chair almost imperceptibly.

"Uhh, nothing Dad. We just had something we wanted to talk to you about." The suspicion was no longer just in his mind, it was written all over his face. I got a pretty clear look at his thoughts for once and I nearly laughed when I saw that Bella was right. Charlie thought we were there to tell him she was pregnant and we were getting married. Well, he was half right. I bit back a grin, she'd be so angry if he asked her if she was in trouble. I would have enjoyed it but for the fact that she might back out because her fears were coming to fruition.

"I'm waiting." Yes, he was waiting and he was contemplating which weapon would be preferable for shooting the kid who'd defiled his daughter. For the first time in my life I was glad to be a vampire, I'd have died of fright if I were a human.

"Well, Dad, you know that Edward and I are going to Dartmouth together in a couple months…" Charlie relaxed a little, figuring that she wouldn't go about announcing a pregnancy by chatting about college. He nodded for her to go on. "Well, it's just, uh, we decided that," she took a big breath and then she shocked us both by pulling an Alice. "Wedecidedthatwewantedtogetmarriedbeforewegotoschoolsowewon'tbelivinginsin." The words all ran together. Without my enhanced hearing I never would have known what she said.

"What was that, Bells? I didn't understand a word of that."

She looked at me helplessly and I was, as usual, unable to resist giving her what she needed. "Charlie, what Bella was trying to say is that we've talked about it and we decided that we wanted to get married before we go to school. We love each other and we want to start our lives together the right way." There, that wasn't so bad. He wasn't thinking about his gun anymore at least. He didn't appear to be thinking about anything. I think we stunned him.

"Dad?" Bella tried to bring him out of his stupor but he wasn't moving. Maybe we should have brought Alice over to explain it to him. He adored her; she'd have him thinking it was a good idea the second she told him. "Is he alright?" she hissed at me. I shrugged; I really wasn't getting anything from him at the moment. He was breathing and that's as much as I knew.

"Charlie?" Maybe I could jolt him out of it.

Bella got up and waved her hand in front of his face and leaned over to shake him. "Dad, you're scaring us! Please say something!" That finally snapped him out of it and he sighed.

"Are you sure about this? Do both of you know what a commitment you're making? You're only eighteen years old and there's still so much of life ahead of you." Human life, if only she would agree to keep hers. He was resigned to it; I could hear it in his voice.

"Yes, Dad, we're sure. We've been talking about it for awhile now and really the only thing that held us back was me being worried about everybody's reaction. I have always been sure of Edward." The words were simple but they made me glow inside. Even though I'd given her ever reason under the sun not to be, she was sure of me. I couldn't stop the smile that crossed my face. Charlie noticed my reaction and watched me for a long moment.

"Well, I won't lie and say I'm happy about this but I can't say I'm surprised either. If this is what you want and you're truly sure, I won't stand in your way. I can't deny that the two of you love each other. I'd rather you wait until after college but it's really your decision. I hope you know what you're doing though." It wasn't exactly a full on blessing but he wasn't forbidding us at least. That was probably as good as it got.

"Thanks, Dad!" Bella gave him a hug.

"You've gone and grown up on me. Just promise you won't make me a grandpa anytime soon. When you go to college, have fun, will you?" No worries on the grandkid thing, Charlie, that's just one more thing I'll be robbing her and you of. Bella would smack me if she heard that thought.

"I promise, Dad, that's the last thing on our minds." On your mind, maybe, Bella, it's constantly on mine.

"So, when exactly are you planning on getting married? It's only two months until you were due to head out to school."

"Next month sometime. I don't know exactly when, I'm sure Alice has it all figured out though, we left her in charge." That brought Charlie's first laugh since we'd shared our news.

"Well now that's something to look forward to, Alice running herd on you for a wedding. I might enjoy parts of this after all, Bells."

Bella glowered at the thought but then she grinned. "She'll rope you in as well, Dad. Hope you enjoy tux shopping with her!"

Charlie looked horrified. His face really resembled his daughters when he was worked up about something.

"Bella, maybe we better go call your mother before your father freaks out and takes back his permission. No need to antagonize him," I pointed out.

Charlie laughed though. Thoughts of Bella telling Renee of her upcoming nuptials drove his Alice the Wedding Nazi fears right out of his head. "Have fun with that one!"

Bella grabbed my hand and dragged me up to her room. "Well that went better than expected, once he started functioning again." She giggled. "I was afraid he'd had a heart attack although I had faith that you'd inform me if his heart had stopped beating."

"I would have, love. It was funny, though; he didn't have any thoughts whatsoever when we told him. He just got completely silent."

"Weird. Well, one down, one to go." She heaved a weary sigh as she pushed Renee's number on the speed dial. I fervently hoped that Renee wouldn't put up too much of a fuss. She was a wild card though, you really never knew what that woman would say or do. She honestly was not my favorite person in the world, though I'd never tell Bella that. How someone as flighty and selfish as her could have a daughter as grounded and selfless as Bella was beyond me. I had to be thankful for her selfishness because it's what brought Bella to Forks and to me but I could never really look beyond her choosing her happiness over her daughters. Hopefully she wouldn't do that now.

I threw myself down on Bella's bed while she paced back and forth in front of it. "Hi, Mom."

"Bella! I have the best news. Phil's doing really well and they might move him up to the big leagues!"

"That's great, Mom. I have some news too." I chuckled at the hesitance in Bella's tone. She was scared senseless.

"Now I know you're headed to Dartmouth in a couple of months but I really hope that if Phil gets called up to the majors that you'll come to at least a game or two." Renee plowed on with her own concerns, typical.

"Yeah, Mom, of course Edward and I would be happy to go to a game." Ha, trying to sneak my name in there to see if she can bring the conversation around to our news. I had to admire my girl.

"Of course if he does get called up we'll have to leave Jacksonville. Moving again would be a pain but he'll be so happy and it'll be wonderful."

"Yes, that would be great."

"So much to do, I'd have to pack and hire a mover and find a new place and a job."

"Moving to a new place can be quite daunting, I ought to know." Sarcasm was starting to seep into her tone now, but Renee would probably not notice.

"Well of course you would, honey. And how is life in Forks these days? How's Edward? Seen Jacob lately?" I tensed, hating that she would ask about Jake in the same breath that she asked about me, but I guess it was understandable. At least she'd focused on her daughter finally.

"Uh, Edward's great actually. Better than great. He's actually what I'm calling about."

"Oh, sex-talk time! Are you finally doing it? Are you being safe?" Dear lord, this entire family is going to kill me.

"No!" Bella shot me a horrified glance and I couldn't help but laugh. Even though we'd both die of mortification, I think I'd enjoy listening to Bella get a sex talk from her mother. The one she got from Charlie a couple months ago had me laughing for hours. "Mom that is not what I'm calling about."

"Oh." Renee sounded disappointed. She really was a fascinating mother. "What's up then?"

"Well, Edward asked me to marry him and I said yes. We're getting married in a month." She actually managed to spit it out without the speed speaking.

"Married? You're getting married this summer?" She wasn't shrieking but she sounded like she might any moment now.

"Uh, yes?" Bella's yes came out sounding like a question; she was so cute. She was blushing now even though her mother couldn't see her.

"Why?" Here we go again. Bella stared at me hopelessly so I took the phone from her.

"Because we love each other and we're going to school together and we'll be living together and we'd both be more comfortable doing that the traditional way."

"Oh, Edward, why do you two have to be such prudes? Just go and have all the fun you need, with protection of course, without getting tied down. You have plenty of time for that." She would prefer we live in sin than get married. Strange, strange woman.

"I guess I'm just old fashioned at heart, Renee. I want to do things the right way."

"Well, you and Bella are sure right for each other, I'll give you that. You're both old at heart."

"So does that mean you'll come up for the wedding?"

"Well if Phil gets called up the majors there will be a lot to do…" I wasn't going to listen to that again.

"Renee, your daughter will only be getting married once, I can promise you that. You really need to be here." Bella's jaw dropped open, was she surprised that I was ordering her mom to our wedding or that her mom would consider maybe not coming?

"Of course I'll be there, Edward, I just might have to juggle some things."

"I'm glad to hear it, Renee; I'll give you back to your daughter." I lay back on the bed and listened to Bella wrap things up.

"I'll call you with all the details when I have them. Edward's sister and mother are taking care of the planning so once the dates are all set we'll let you know. Bye Mom!" She didn't give her mother an opportunity to start quizzing her again. Good plan.

Bella got on the bed next to me and buried her head in my shoulder. "Thank God that's done."

"Yep. Now we only have to endure a month of wedding details." I couldn't resist teasing her.

She just shook her head and sighed. "I really must love you."

"Yeah, you really must." Why, how could she? That I didn't know the answer to, but she was my personal miracle and I wasn't letting her go ever again.


	8. Chapter 8

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 8

BPOV

A month was not a long time to plan a wedding. I figured giving Alice a month to get everything together would limit the circus sideshow she would happily have planned given plenty of time. Of course, as with most things vampire, I was completely wrong. If I'd have given her a day she still would have pulled it together. Alice was a force of nature.

She whirled in and out of my house like the Tasmanian Devil; running in and spouting something so quickly it was almost always unintelligible and taking off before we could even comprehend what she was saying. Even Edward had a hard time deciphering what she was telling us. Charlie was living in absolute terror; a 4 foot 10 inch little ball of energy reducing him to child having a nightmare. She came at him with a tape measure almost daily and was constantly throwing tuxes at him to try on. When she went for the straight pins I thought he might faint dead away; instead he turned the color of a tomato and looked up like he was asking for divine intervention.

I never would have thought I would handle my impending wedding with more calm than my father but then I knew what I was getting myself into. Turning everything over to her made my life easier and though I had to suffer daily by getting basted into a wedding dress, I did so gladly because it was all I had to do. Or so I thought.

"Bellaaaaa," oh no, it was her wheedling tone. "Why aren't you dressed yet?"

I glanced down at my jeans and blue button down top. "I appear to be dressed, Alice."

"But you're not dressed right!"

What does that mean? My shirt is buttoned properly; there are no unsightly holes in my jeans. I didn't know if I wanted to ask. "Dressed right for what?"

"Do you pay no attention to anything I say? Why am I the only one who is on top of things when it comes to this wedding?" She began raging around the room, stomping her little feet and wearing thunderclouds on her face. "I told you two days ago that we had to go into Port Angeles for food and cake tasting for the wedding. We have to leave in half an hour and that's barely enough time to get you presentable. Fortunately I foresaw this issue and I brought you something to wear." She thrust a cream colored skirt and top at me.

"Hold on! We agreed that you would plan the wedding and I would just have to show up. Every day you poke and prod me and I don't complain. Now you're backing out of the deal?"

If her face could suffuse with color, it would have. "Backing out of the deal!" She shrieked at me. I was afraid glass would start shattering if she didn't rein it in a bit. "Bella, I have spent day and night orchestrating this wedding. I've picked out flowers and photographers and decorations. I've designed invitations and dresses. I have done all of this in less than a week's time and you think I'm not doing enough?"

"Of course I don't think that, Alice." Alright, I was being unreasonable and I knew it. But seriously, I didn't want to make decisions. I don't know anything about weddings.

She calmed a little at my words and nodded to herself. Clearly we were right on track with her vision of this incident. "Well, Bella, there are some things I just can't do alone. I can design a menu for you but I sure can't tell if the caterer makes the food correctly or not. You're the bride and the human, so clearly you need to be the one to weigh in."

She was right, of course. Having a vampire pick out the food was probably not the wisest idea. Maybe we could offer our guests a wide array of choices from mountain lion to deer. I giggled at the image of that buffet line. "You're right," I acquiesced. I suppose if I had to actually participate in the wedding planning, at least I got the job of food tasting. That wasn't so bad.

Alice clapped her hands in glee. "Go get dressed and we'll hit the road. It'll also be a good time to do some shopping!"

I cringed at that word. "Alice, we're not shopping. I don't need anything…"

"Yes you do, you need a present for Edward."

A what? I had to buy him a present? What for? And what in the heck was I going to get him? He had everything already. "What for, Alice? His birthday already passed and you guys don't celebrate those."

She looked at me like I was missing a few brain cells, which admittedly I probably was with all the concussions and contusions I'd suffered in my lifetime. "It is customary for the bride and the groom to exchange some sort of gift for the wedding, Bella." I groaned. Dear Lord, he was going to buy me another present? He was probably going to drape me in more diamonds.

Alice rolled her eyes at my reaction. "If you're going to be a Cullen, you're going to have to get over this aversion to presents. Cullen men and women are gift givers. We have plenty of money. Now stop procrastinating and get dressed."

I stomped into the bedroom and yanked off my shirt and jeans and replaced them with Alice's more acceptable ensemble. A quick survey in the mirror showed that the cream color went well with my eyes and hair. Why did she always have to be right? I quickly brushed my hair and turned to face her. "Do I pass inspection, General?" My sarcasm didn't faze her in the slightest and she nodded.

The car ride was relatively peaceful. Alice babbled on about the various color schemes she'd chosen and decorative ideas. I just nodded and murmured agreement in order to keep the peace.

"There is just one thing, Bella…" Her tone went from bright to hesitant and my guard instantly went back up.

"What?" Did I really even want to know?

"Well, it's about the wedding party." What wedding party? Alice was the maid of honor and sole bridesmaid, unless Rose wanted in on it, which I highly doubted.

"What about it?" I so did not want to know the answer to this.

"Well, it's just that Edward is going to have Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper stand up for him and you only have me right now." She looked as if this was a catastrophe of epic proportions.

"Yeah, so?" I didn't get it, really I didn't. What did it matter if we were unbalanced? We always had been. Look at him and look at me.

"Bella, it won't look right in pictures and stuff if there are all of them and only you and me."

"Fine, then, have Esme and Rose as bridesmaids too. Or my mom."

"Ugh, we are not having your mother up there; the mother of the bride comes down on her own and sits right up front."

"Well, Esme and Rose make three, so we're set." I knew what she was going to say before she said it.

"Rose isn't really…"

"Alright, I know, Rose doesn't approve of me, but surely she'd be willing to stand up next to the whole family on her brother's wedding day." She couldn't hate me that much, could she?

Alice heaved a breath. "We could probably make her do it but when you make Rosalie do something, she doesn't really do it gracefully. I honestly think it'd be better to just let her be a guest."

She had a point; I'd rather not have to deal with a scowling Rose in every photo. "Okay, then, you and Esme. I could ask Angela to be a bridesmaid I suppose." Angela had always been a friend, that wouldn't be too weird.

Alice actually squealed with delight. "Yes, Angela will work; I can already see she'll say yes. But you see, that's not enough."

"What do you mean, you and Esme and Angela. Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle. That's three and three. It works just fine."

"Esme, as mother of the groom, will also be seated with the guests, plus she has a lot of other jobs. It just wouldn't do, Bella." Alice was getting all worked up again.

"But Carlisle is going to be standing up there; he's the father of the groom. You are really making this much more complicated than it needs to be." This was so irritating. Here I was, making more bridal decisions and getting shot down. I knew this would happen.

"That's different, Bella, he's a man. Fathers do nothing but pay for the wedding."

"Fine! Then we'll have two girls and three guys. You can walk up with Jasper and Emmett. I do not care!" I'd had it and we weren't even to Port Angeles yet.

"Bella that just won't work. I have everything mapped out in my head and we require another female to make things look right." She was stubborn and she was going to get her way, so why was I bothering?

"Alright, Alice, you go ahead and find this mysterious third female to even out the numbers then. It really doesn't matter to me." I couldn't stop my flashing to my best friend, or former best friend I guess. I almost smiled at the thought of the look on Jake's face if I asked him to be my maid of honor. Had things been different, he would have laughed himself silly over it and done it just for fun. If I weren't marrying his enemy and he weren't in love with me himself, that is. I sighed. Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Alice jolted me right out of my incoming depression with the next words out of her mouth. "Okay then, we'll ask Jessica."

"Jessica? Jessica Stanley? Why exactly would I be asking Jessica Stanley to be in _my_ wedding?" She had to be talking about some other Jessica.

"Because she used to be your friend and you guys were friendly with one another at graduation."

"Alice, she was never really my friend. I mean, we hung out some but she was always jealous of Mike's ridiculous interest in me and she was even more jealous that Edward fell in love with me."

"Bella, she'll say yes and she was on the guest list anyway. Why not? She'll be fine. Just think about how envious she'll be watching you marry Edward." That was kind of a nice image, Jess forced to stand at the altar and watch me become Mrs. Cullen.

Oh, why not? I suppose it was marginally better than having Rose scowl at everyone or worse, having someone I'd never met like Tanya standing up there. That's probably who she'd stick me with if I protested. "Fine, we'll ask Jess."

Alice smiled. "Good, that's done. Call them both and ask them. Tell them I'll be in touch for fittings."

I grumbled but made the calls on my newly acquired cell phone. Angela, as always, was accommodating and sweet. She said she'd be happy to and expressed excitement over the news that Edward and I were getting married. Jessica, of course, was another story.

"Um, hi, Bella, how's your summer going?" She sounded surprised to hear from me. No more surprised than I was to be calling her, of course.

"It's great, Jess. Actually, that's sort of what I'm calling you about."

"Oh?" She sounded curious.

"Yeah, well, Edward asked me to marry him and I said yes and we're doing it this summer. August 8th to be exact." Silence. Dead silence.

Just when I was starting to wonder if she'd passed out, she cleared her throat. "Bella, that's fantastic. I'm so happy for you." She sounded anything but.

"Thanks." I wasn't going to push her on that front. "Anyway, I was wondering if you'd consider being a bridesmaid." Despite what Alice said, she was going to say no. Why would she say yes when she sounded like she was swallowing a lemon during her congratulations?

"Um, sure, I'd be honored." Some excitement was starting to creep into her voice at least. I'm sure it was for the wrong reasons but at least she'd said yes and I didn't have to think about it anymore.

"Great, thanks Jess! Alice will get in touch with you in a day or two on all the details. Bye!" I hung up the phone and heaved a sigh of relief. I can't believe Jessica Stanley is going to be in my wedding party. On the bright side, she irritated Edward even more than she did me, so he'd be unhappy about it himself.

I turned to glare at Alice. "There, it's done. I'll now have one jealous, harpy bridesmaid. I hope you're happy."

"Trust me, Bella, it'll all work out just fine." She tapped the side of her all knowing head. "She's going to bring Mike and the two of them will stew in jealousy the whole night. It'll be fun!" Trust Alice to find tormenting my former friends to be fun.

All the bridal party discussion had distracted me and we were already in Port Angeles when I refocused on my surroundings. Alice pulled up in front of a pretty brick building bearing the sign Catherine's Catering. "We're here!" She danced out of the car and waited for me. I emerged a lot less willingly. "Come on, Bella, it'll be fun!" She took my arm and led me into the building. Alice and her ideas of fun were going to kill me.

Upon entering I was immediately swamped with incredible scents. Alice didn't appear too impressed; she wrinkled up her nose in distaste. Human food doesn't smell as pleasant to vampires. A slightly plump lady came up to us. "You must be Alice and Isabella, I'm Catherine Daniels, owner and head chef." She was all beaming smiles and good will.

"I'm Bella."

"The bride! Wonderful, dear, I hope you're hungry!" She led us into a room that was set as a formal dining room with a huge rose centerpiece.

"We like to make it look like a possible wedding reception when we have you test, just so you'll get a feel visually as well." That made sense I suppose. Seconds after I was seated a waiter appeared and placed a plate of carved roast beef and baby carrots and potatoes in front of Alice and me. I took a bite and nearly moaned in pleasure. Yes, I had a feeling the roast beef would make the cut. Alice fidgeted next to me.

"Well, I can tell that Bella likes it. What do you think Alice?" Catherine had been watching me so she didn't see that Alice hadn't tried a thing.

"It's wonderful," she lied with a small grin. "I think we'll definitely want this, don't you, Bella?"

"Oh yes, it's incredible."

The beef magically disappeared and was replaced by some sort of chicken in a cream sauce. I decided if I was going to have to submit to Alice's wedding torture, I was going to have a little fun with her while I did it. "You first, Alice!" She shot me a ferocious glare before Catherine turned to her to watch her eat and react. She swallowed hard and slowly raised her fork to her tiny pursed mouth. She put the chicken in and closed her lips. I've never seen anybody chew so slowly. She swallowed hesitantly and managed a shaky smile.

"It's also really good. I think the beef is better." I chuckled and took a bite as well. She was right, the beef was better, not that she'd tasted it.

"Very nice. I still prefer the beef but it might make the list as a secondary choice."

And so it went, for nearly two hours I tasted food and cakes. Whenever I started to feel trapped and annoyed I would make Alice swallow a bite of food. She wasn't happy. I'm very glad she's already made progress on my dress or I'd likely be wearing a hoop skirt and layers upon layers of fabric. When we emerged from the store she dashed around a corner and rid herself of all the food she'd been forced to sample over that time. I started to feel bad for torturing her.

"Alice, I'm sorry."

"Not yet, Bella, but you will be." Yes, angering The Wedding Nazi was probably not my best move.

"Come on, I had to give you a little bit of a hard time, you've been driving me crazy for days."

She looked at me then with those little hurt eyes I could not resist. "I haven't been trying to hurt you, Bella; I'm trying to give you a perfect wedding day that you'll remember forever. And you're going to have forever, so you really should want it to be special."

"You're right. I hate being the center of attention and I'm taking it out on you. I really am glad you're taking care of things, even if I don't always say so."

"You're forgiven, Bella, for now." Great, now I'd have to worry and wonder when she was going to exact her revenge.

"Alice, can we just go home? I'm stuffed. I don't think I can move, let alone be dragged from shop to shop right now." I would beg her if I had to.

She assessed me for a minute. "You don't look too good, but you're not green, so I think it'll be okay if we just go to one shop. You're lucky it's only one; I should take you into every shop on this block and the next. But it'll only take you a few minutes to find what you need." She grabbed my hand and dragged me into Old Time Antiques. Well, at least it wasn't a clothing store.

The inside of the store was a veritable treasure trove of antiques. Tea pots and furniture and elegant silver pieces spread throughout the store. What in the world would I find for Edward here? Alice went over to a display of swords and paraphernalia from the Civil War. I imagined she could find a great gift for Jasper. Leaving her to that, I wandered past some old fashioned quilts and stopped at the glass jewelry cases. An older lady with salt and pepper hair and horned rimmed glasses came over and asked if she could show me anything. I started to demure when a pocket watch caught my eye.

"Can I see that watch, please?" I don't know what drew me to it. It looked really old but so did everything in here.

"Of course, dear." She took out the gold timepiece. "I'm afraid it doesn't actually tell time anymore, but it's still a beautiful piece." It really was. The gold was polished to a high shine but there were some scratches on it that made it all the more distinctive.

"Can you tell me when it's from?"

She smiled. "Usually I can't but this one happens to have the date engraved on the back of it. "November 18th, 1918". I jolted. 1918, the year that Edward became a vampire? The act that led him to me? Could there be a more perfect gift?

I couldn't hide the triumphant smile that came over my face. "Do you do engraving here?"

"Yes, dear, we do. What would you like it to say?"

The words just came to me. "Time stands still." It worked because the watch didn't work, that's what she'd think but it also worked for so much more. Time did stand still for Edward and soon would for me as well.

"I can have it done for you in half an hour if you want to look around some more." I nodded and headed over to where Alice was pawing through some clothes.

"I'm going to go walk for a bit while she engraves the watch I found Edward. I'll be back shortly." Alice just grunted and continued her shopping. I knew that was as much acknowledgement as I'd get so I went out and strolled in the direction of the book store. It brought a smile to my face remembering that night a year and a half ago when Edward had saved me for the second time. It was the night that I told him I knew what he was and it didn't matter to me. I remembered his disbelief when I told him I didn't care that he was a vampire. In my wildest dreams I never had imagined I'd be here today buying him a wedding present. My life was nothing if not interesting.

I walked past several boutiques and gift stores but I really wasn't in the mood to go in to them. A familiar car caught my eye and I stopped. There, parked in front of Hank's Automotive, was a vintage VW Rabbit. I'd spent many days watching Jake work on that car in his garage. Before I could decide if I should go in or run quickly in the other direction, the door crashed open and out popped Jacob with his usual exuberance. He called something back to Hank about letting him know when the part came back and turned to head to his car. I knew the instant he saw me because he came to a standstill. All the light that had been in his face died out as he looked at me.

"Jake, I…"

His jaw locked and he brushed past me without a word. I watched helplessly as he slammed his car door and peeled out. I felt the tears welling up again as I remembered my brief fantasy in the car about Jacob being my maid of honor. Those happier joking times were long past.

"Bella," Alice said softly from behind me. "Your watch is done. Let's get it and go home." Yes, suddenly home was where I wanted to be. Actually, I wanted to be with Edward.

I fought back the tears and asked Alice where he was. "Car shopping!" she informed me brightly. I groaned.

"Wedding present number one, I guess."

She giggled. "I can take you to him if you want."

I shuddered at the very idea of car shopping with Edward. "No, let's just go home. I've endured enough for the day." She hooked her arm in mine and led me back into the shop.


	9. Chapter 9

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 9

EPOV

There were a few better ways to spend my day than car shopping but since Alice had Bella occupied with wedding stuff those weren't an option. I spent hour after hour prowling car lots to find a perfect car for my girl. The midnight blue Mercedes SLR Roadster wasn't as flamboyant as I would have liked to get for Bella but it was classy and beautiful. Plus, I'd always liked her in blue. I knew she'd have a fit if she found out what it cost but I assumed she wouldn't know and wouldn't want to know so I was probably safe. That or I'd just enjoy the fireworks when she went off.

As I pulled up to our house I did a quick mental scan to see who was on the premises. It seemed pretty quiet so I knew Alice wasn't back with Bella yet. The only voice I picked up on was Carlisle's, which was fortunate for me as I wanted to talk to him about Bella. Bella and sex to be specific. No way was I going to try to make love to her without discussing it with my father figure first. Doing it with Emmett and Jasper in the house would lead to endless teasing and very little productive discussion, so now was the time. I raced up to his office.

Carlisle looked up from the medical journal he was reading and smiled. "Edward, how was car shopping?"

"Great, I'm getting her a Mercedes SLR Roadster, it's gorgeous."

Carlisle laughed. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled."

"Hey, she'll need a car that can keep up with the rest of ours and it's less showy than some of the others I was considering." We could talk cars for awhile, I wasn't overly anxious to have this conversation now that I was actually here.

Even though Carlisle doesn't claim to have extra powers like Alice and Jasper and I do, I swear he's more intuitive than the average vampire. _What's on your mind, son?_

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Well, you know that Bella and I made sort of a deal when it came to getting married."

"I know you get to get her a new car and pay for college should she go. What more is there?"

I couldn't stand still while talking about this so I began to pace. "She wants…"

_This should be interesting. What does Bella want son? God knows her mind doesn't work like anybody else's. I couldn't even begin to guess._

"She agreed to marry me if we…uh…if I that is…"

"Spit it out, Edward." _If he can't speak it out loud it's got to be huge. _Listening to Carlisle's thoughts was not making this any easier.

"She wants me to make love to her."

"Well, that's pretty normal, Edward. Married couples do that all the time." He just didn't get it.

"No, Carlisle. She wants me to make love to her while she's _human."_

_Oh dear. That will be very dangerous. _

"I know that. That's why I'm here talking to you about how to go about it. It's the only thing she wanted. I want to give her the world and the one thing she wants from me is the one thing that is nearly impossible to give." I was going to wear a hole in his carpet if I kept pacing so I threw myself down in his cushy leather chair and stared at him. "So, what do I do?"

_Like I would know? I've never been with a human. Not sexually, at least not as a vampire. Alright, let's focus._

"Okay, well, when is this supposed to take place?"

"I put her off until the honeymoon. She wanted it to be the night I proposed but I refused until we were husband and wife. She thinks it's my old fashioned nature, which I guess it partially is, but I also needed time to talk to you and figure out how to do it without killing her."

You could have knocked me over with a feather when Carlisle burst out laughing. He laughed long and loud. What in the world was going on with that man? I glared at him balefully until he started to settle down.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I know it's not funny. It's just that I've been a vampire for well over 300 years and I resigned myself to certain things never happening. Having a sex talk with my son is something I honestly never thought I would do in this lifetime." I suppose that made sense, but it wasn't really a laughing matter when I could kill the person I loved most in the world. _I am sorry, son._

"Alright, I'm sure it is rather funny to be having this discussion with your 108 year old virgin son. But it's not funny that I could hurt her, Carlisle. I bruised her yesterday in the tent."

"Edward, bruised her how? What happened?"

"When she was telling me about Jacob kissing her, I got angry and grabbed her wrists. I didn't even know I'd marked her until hours later. I thought he did it. I was going to go kill him and then I found out it was me. You can't imagine how terrible I felt. I can't believe she even still wants me."

_Of course she wants you, son. She loves you and it was an accident. Bella is bruised on a daily basis._

"Yeah, that's what she said but it doesn't make me feel any better that I was the one doing the bruising. And that was when I was angry but still in control. What happens if I get out of control?"

_Sex is definitely an act wherein you do lose control. How to go about this?_

"Alright, well, I think we have to look at things on two fronts here."

"Two fronts? What do you mean?"

"I mean, there are two issues of concern. First is bloodlust and then the other is physically hurting her. Do you think you can be with her, in that way, without wanting to bite her?"

"Yes, I'm sure that I can. She's cut herself around me several times and her blood doesn't even affect me anymore. Being that close to her shouldn't be a problem. We spend every night in her bed wrapped around each other." _Good, that's good. _

"You may find, though, that in the moment when you're most excited, when you're about to ejaculate, that you'll be tempted to bite her though. You need to maintain enough of a sense of yourself so that you don't do that." Great, another thing I have to worry about. I didn't imagine I'd even be tempted to bite her.

"Son, when you're excited, sexually, the more animal part of your nature will come out. We do tend to bite when we're together." Oh no, a flash of him biting down on Esme's shoulder as he thrusts….

"_Carlisle!" _

"Sorry son, I can't help my thoughts."

"Well try, _please."_

He chuckled. "Alright. As I was saying, in the moment of release you may be tempted to bite. I think it's best if you have a pillow or shirt or something nearby to bite instead of Bella." Great, so now I'd be chewing on furniture or clothing. How very sexy that was. Bella would no doubt be overcome by my love making skills as I bit the mattress.

"Edward, you can do this. You've got more self control than all of us combined, as evidenced by the fact that you've fallen in love with a human girl and kept her alive all of these months. It will be fine." _I know it will. _Well it was nice to hear that he meant it in his head as well.

"Okay, so I'll make sure to bite something other than her. It's embarrassing but better than the alternative."

He smiled. "Now, the other issue is your strength. I assume you're worried about holding her too tightly or moving too quickly and hurting her?"

"Yes, that's my biggest fear. I could break a bone or do something even worse without meaning to." Thoughts of that would haunt my nightmares if I was able to sleep.

"It's a valid concern, son. When you're caught up in passion it's hard to think about your limits."

"So what do I do?"

"Well, honestly, I think the best way to go about it would be to let her do everything." _He's not going to like that._

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you mean, let her do everything?"

"Well, Edward, as you no doubt know, there are countless sexual positions. While many times the first time for a man and woman is the missionary position…I assume you know what that is?" Smartass.

"Of course I know what missionary is. I know what all the positions are. You don't live in the minds of every human and vampire for 90 years without being privy to every sexual thought in the book and some that were never written down. Really, Carlisle, the things that people think!"

_Oh I bet. I imagine there are things that you could say that would even surprise me. To live in your head, even for one day, would be quite a learning experience._

"Carlisle!"

_Sorry, it's easy to get sidetracked when the topic of sex comes up. You'll understand, someday. Someday soon, apparently. _"My point was, rather than having you on top of Bella, I think you should probably have her get on top of you." Now that called to mind all sorts of beautiful fantasies. Bella would look completely stunning as she leaned over me and her gorgeous breasts pressed up against my chest. She would…

"Edward?" Carlisle jolted me out of my fantasy.

"You think that would work?" I was willing to try it. Heck, I was more than willing to try it when it came down it. Just to feel her soft thighs pressed against my hard hips would be amazing. And her heat as she lowered herself…

"Are you with me, son?"

"Yeah, I am. Sorry, I was just picturing it." If I could have, I would have blushed.

He laughed. "I take it you liked the picture? That's good, it's healthy to fantasize. I imagine you haven't really let yourself up to this point?"

"Not often. It's too hard to think about it and then be near her and not act on it. I want her very badly but I want her to be safe and healthy more than anything."

"You're a good man, Edward, and I have all the faith in the world that you will be able to be with Bella, like you want to be, without hurting her. And yes, I do think it would work. It'll just be important to let her set the pace. You pretty much will just have to lie there and let her lead you."

"That goes against the grain."

"Does it though? Hasn't she been leading you from day one? She's pretty much tamed the beast, Edward." I didn't know if I should be insulted or if I should laugh. I settled on laughter.

"Yeah, I guess that is true. Um, Carlisle, do you think it would be a good idea to have one of you nearby when we do it, just in case?"

"You want us to go on your honeymoon with you?"

"No. For our first time, I want to take her someplace that is special to both of us. After we leave the reception, I'm going to take her to the meadow." I could picture it in my mind, Bella illuminated by the moon as I lay her down on a blanket? No, a blanket didn't seem right. Well I had time to figure that out.

"I think a special place is a good idea and if it would make you more comfortable for us to be nearby, we could be. I think, though, that she would hate that idea and I don't think you'd be entirely relaxed either." I wouldn't be but her health was my main concern. "Edward, you don't need us. If it'll make you feel better, now that you've got a possible plan in your head, ask Alice to look into it. I think she'll assure you that everything will be okay."

"You're right. That would be better. I just want to make sure it's everything she wants it to be."

"It will be, Edward. All she wants is you."

"Yeah, bro, your girl is totally hot for you. She'll be thrilled just to finally get your clothes off." Emmett boomed with a laugh as he ruffled my hair. _Oh no. _Jasper walked in the room a lot more sedately but the look on his face was a match to Emmett's. Pure, unadulterated glee.

"When did you get here?"

"Right about the time that Carlisle told you to have Bella ride you like you're in a rodeo!" I had two options. Either hear about this for the next 500 years or kill Emmett now. A growl started in my throat but Jasper sent a wave of calm at me.

"Dammit, Jasper. If I don't kill him I'll never hear the end of it."

"You'll never hear the end of it anyway, Edward. Even if Emmett was gone, I'd still know. So would Carlisle. And if you don't think Alice hasn't seen it and laughed herself silly, then you don't know her very well. And she'll tell everyone. So really, death is not the answer."

"And just wait until I tell Bella!" Emmett chortled.

"Don't you dare tell Bella. She'd be mortified to know that you all heard something like that. Seriously, if any of you says one word…"

"Chill bro, I'm not talking about telling her now, I'm talking about in a year or two, when she's no longer a newborn and can't overpower us all. I'm not getting my butt kicked by a girl." Well that was something at least; he wasn't going to embarrass her before it happened.

"Boys," Carlisle chided. "I know you find it amusing to tease your brother but really, he's being cautious and smart by talking about this with me. If you have any actually insight to share, please do, otherwise leave him be."

Jasper smiled. "I don't know if it's insight, exactly, but I can tell you that the way you love Bella is unique. It's deeper than anything I've ever felt before, besides maybe my love for Alice. I know that love you feel for her will get you through it without hurting her."

"Thanks, Jazz. You don't know what it means to hear you say that." It wasn't often that Jasper would share something like that and it meant a lot to me that he would now.

"You know where you could get some insight? How about giving Tanya a call, Edward? She knows what it's like to be with a human."

"Oh that's helpful, Emmett. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to call up Tanya and ask her about how to have sex with my wife." I shuddered at the thought.

"Well, I know she wants your bod and all but she has been with humans!"

"Ugh, please, do not bring her up again. I don't want to think about her. Plus the humans she was with were males and it's a totally different thing. And she never cared if she killed them or not."

"Good point. But she will be at the wedding."

"Enough, Emmett. I am not talking to Tanya about Bella."

"Maybe she could join you and show you…" That did it, I socked him in the jaw and he flew across the room crashing into Carlisle's bookshelf. Books fell everywhere.

"I was just kidding!" He charged at me but Carlisle stopped him by stepping between us. Jasper shot another wave of calm in all directions and the red haze that had formed at the thought of Tanya joining me and Bella began to dissipate.

"Emmett, that was inappropriate, apologize to your brother." Carlisle had his "don't argue with me" tone going on.

"I'm sorry. I was just having some fun."

"It's okay; it's really just not a laughing matter for me, at least not now. Maybe in 50 years or something, but not when I'm worried about killing the love of my life by loving her too much."

"You won't, Edward. Jasper is right. You have a strong and rare love. You couldn't hurt Bella. And I'm glad you found her, she's good for you." Emmett was being serious now. This was the strangest conversation I'd ever had. "Um, sometimes, when I'm with Rose…" Oh no. An Emmett and Rose sex story. This would be traumatic.

"Really, Emmett, I don't need to hear about you guys smashing walls again, I've lived it."

"That's not what I was going to say! We're not always like that you know! What I was going to say is that sometimes we make love very gently. Kind of like I imagine you'll have to with Bella. It doesn't always have to be wild monkey sex. You just let the love take you over and it's really not difficult to be tender." For real? Did Emmett just say that he and Rose made tender love?

We were all staring at Emmett as if he'd announced that he was joining the priesthood. "What? I can be gentle! It's just, you know, Rose really misses being a human. So sometimes we pretend we are. It goes against the grain, maybe, but it's not that difficult. And you are always gentle with Bella, so it should really be easy for you. That's all I'm saying." He was getting embarrassed now. Maybe he'd go easy on me for awhile.

"Well, Emmett, that was very well said. I'm sure you've given Edward something positive to hold on to." I was positively floored if that's what Carlisle meant. Jasper seemed to feel the same way.

"Yes, thanks, Em, really."

Of course he couldn't leave it at that. He left the room and returned in a flash. "If you need some visual aids, show this to Bella." I reflexively caught the "Girls on Top" DVD that he threw at me.

"Emmett!" I hurled it back at his head, but he caught it before it could hit him.

"I hear Alice's Porsche driving up. Perhaps we should end the discussion on that note for now? Edward, if you need to talk to me anymore, without your brother's help, we'll make time." Carlisle promised me. I nodded and walked down the stairs to greet my love as Emmett's laugh followed me down the stairs. 50 Cents "Candy Shop" boomed out of his stereo, going incrementally louder when it got the line about getting on top and riding like you're in a rodeo. I was going to have to kill him, no doubt about it.

Bella raised an eyebrow as she got out of the car and registered what was playing. "You guys are listening to rap?"

"Emmett is, "I muttered, not meeting her eyes. "You don't want to know."

Alice trilled a laugh and walked toward the house. "I'll tell you someday, Bella!" Yep, everyone would know soon enough.

"Come on, love. I'll take you home." The sooner you're away from my family, the better.


	10. Chapter 10

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 10

BPOV

The days melted into one another and we'd reached the week of the wedding before I could even register time passing by. My days were spent with Alice. She'd taken her revenge for the food tasting incident and made me pay by involving me in every aspect of the wedding planning. Not that she listened to my opinion, mind you, but she still made me give one. I'd weighed in on engraved cocktail napkins and invitations and champagne fountains. The last got a veto that actually stood, seeing as we were all "underage". She then decided maybe a chocolate fountain would be a fun way to go when I pointed out that if she wanted me to remain in a white dress that probably was not a good idea. She thankfully agreed.

My nights were spent with Edward, wrapped in his arms in my bed. When we weren't kissing, we were talking about anything and everything. He was particularly interested in my childhood, asking me question after question about growing up with Renee.

"Why are you so interested in my past, Edward? Don't you know everything about me already?"

He grinned. "I just love listening to stories about my girl, is there anything wrong with that?"

"Of course not." So I told him stories about Renee nearly burning down the kitchen when she threw a frozen chicken in the oven. I told him about my many injuries and mishaps. He ate it all up as if it was the most fascinating thing he'd ever heard. Whenever I got tired of talking I pressed closer to him and gave him my most persuasive kisses. Though he didn't completely relax his rigid control, he did relent enough to let me run my hands under his shirt. The feeling of those hard stomach muscles, so cold beneath my warm hands, nearly drove me wild with desire. Just a few more nights and finally I could touch him freely, with no barriers between us.

"Soon." I told him with a smile.

"Bella," he chuckled, pulling back from me.

"Don't you start, Edward Cullen. A promise is a promise!"

"I know, but I'm afraid of hurting you."

"You won't, you can't. I know you can't."

"Your utter faith in me is astounding. I don't deserve it."

I rolled my eyes. "How about I decide what you do and don't deserve when it comes to me?"

He stared at me for a moment, looking utterly astounded. Then he surprised me by laughing. He hugged me to his chest and told me, "Deal. We do need to talk, though."

I glowered at him. "Talk about what?"

"The honeymoon. Or more specifically, what happens after the honeymoon." That surprised me.

"What do you mean?"

"After we return from…"

"From?" I asked eagerly. I'd been trying to get him to tell me where he was taking me. That, of course, was a fruitless effort.

"Our honeymoon," he smiled at me, knowing just what I'd been hoping. Like he'd ever slip. "We'll come back to Forks for a few weeks before we leave for Dartmouth, or so everyone assumes."

"Okay." I knew this, what was he getting at?

"Well, I just think it's important that we talk about our plans."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Our plan is to move with the family to New Hampshire. Then our plan is to make me a vampire. That has not changed." He'd better not be trying to delay, again.

He sighed. "I know that, Bella, I'm not backing out." Relief filled me as I saw the truth in his words reflected on his face. "I'm just talking about when we get back; I think it's very important that you spend as much time with your father as you can. If you're truly insistent upon being changed right after we move…"

I cut him off. "I am. I'm ready to start on our forever. We'll have nothing more hanging over our heads. I'm not going to be looking over my shoulder wondering when the Volturi will decide to check on me. I'm ready, Edward."

He looked pained. "I know you think you are, but just listen to me for a minute. Are you really ready to say goodbye to Charlie forever?"

I felt the weight in my chest that always hit whenever I thought of not seeing Charlie again. "I know it'll be hard. Charlie's been without me a lot longer than he's been with me, though. I know he'll be okay." If I said it enough, if I thought it enough, it would be true.

Edward looked at me as if he understood what was going on inside my head. "Bella, I know you don't see it that way."

"Alright, I know it will be hard. It'll be the hardest thing I ever do. I hate that my leaving is going to hurt him. I hate that I won't be able to see him again."

Edward's face softened and he reached out to touch my cheek. "It doesn't have to be that way. We can go to school and come back and spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with him. We can do what normal college kids do when they go away to school. There's no reason why…"

"I gave you a reason, Edward. The Volturi will want to know that I'm no longer human. I know you think they might take years to look at me again but I know they won't. When have I ever been that lucky?"

"You can't make a decision on giving up your life under duress, Bella."

I sighed. "Edward, that's not the only reason for my choice, it's just the most pressing. I want this. I want you and I want forever. I want forever to start as soon as possible. I know I have to give up things to make it happen but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make."

"But Charlie…"

"Charlie will be alright, eventually. This wedding is part of that. He's letting me go, in the traditional way. Edward, please." I needed to stop; I didn't want to think about the bad anymore. I still had a month to spend with my father and I'd make the most of it.

"Alright, Bella, as long as you're sure." He hugged me to him and I buried my face back in his chest. "You better get some sleep. Renee will be here in the morning." I groaned. He laughed at me. "I won't be here when you wake up. You need some quality mother/daughter time I'm sure." I raised my head and glared at him. "I have to go hunting with my brothers anyway; it's their bachelor party for me." I nodded and drifted off to sleep.

I woke to an overly cheery voice and a cold hand shaking my shoulder. "Bella, time to wake up. We have lots to do today!"

"Go away, Alice." I mumbled into my pillow.

"I can't do that, Bella. It's the day before the wedding and we've got a final fitting, then we have to get you dressed and ready. Your mother will be here in two hours and then we'll head to the house for some female bonding and your bachelorette party."

I was still half in dreamland and wasn't really paying attention to a word that Alice said but the words "bachelorette party" managed to penetrate my consciousness. I sat straight up and stared at her. "What did you say?"

"Oh good, you're up. Get out of bed and strip; I've got the dress ready for you." She went on obliviously.

"Alice, what did you say?" I had to have misheard.

She put her hands on her hips. "I said, strip, you need to try on your dress one last time."

"Before that!"

"Um, your mom will be here in two hours?"

"No, Alice, you said something about a bachelorette party?" This was a nightmare, clearly.

She beamed at me. "Well yes, you only get married once. We had to throw you a party. We wanted to wait until your mom got in so it's tonight. Don't worry; the boys are taking Edward out too." She giggled at whatever she saw happening.

"Alice Cullen, I do not want a bachelorette party!"

She just smiled serenely. "Bella, you're having one so you may as well get over it. Up now, we don't have all day."

I folded my arms. "I'm not getting up until you call off this ridiculous party. Cancel your stripper or whatever you have planned."

"Please, Bella, like I'd get you a stripper? We're just going to get together at the house and eat and gossip and give presents."

"Presents?" Gah, would they never stop burying me in gifts.

Alice's smile faded. "We already had this discussion. The Cullen family gives presents, lots of them. Get over it. Now get up!"

I just sat and stared at her. Her eyes narrowed and that cute face of hers looked a lot more like a vampire than a pixie in that moment. She leaned over and lifted me out of the bed with no effort whatsoever. I hated being the only weakling in the Cullen family. "Now, are you going to take off your clothes and put on the dress or do I have to do it for you?" The threat was evident on her face and in her tone. I hurriedly whipped off my clothes, no use in having Alice destroy my favorite pajamas. She slipped the dress over my shoulders and smiled in satisfaction.

I looked in the mirror and let out a gasp. It was the first time I'd really looked at the dress as she'd put it together. It looked like something a Greek goddess would have worn. It was a strapless chiffon dress with a jeweled halter neck. It bunched a little in the front and fell straight down. I felt utterly beautiful in it, even with my bed head. "Alice, it's perfect."

"It is!" She clapped her hands. "Okay, off it comes; you'll have it back on soon enough!" She took the dress off and pushed me toward the shower. "Go get cleaned up, I'll put some clothes out for you." Clothes I'd never seen before, no doubt.

Once I was dressed, Alice and I went downstairs and waited for Renee and Phil to arrive. They pulled up shortly after noon and I was quickly embraced in the flurry of energy that was Renee. Having her and Alice in the same room for any length of time was seriously going to drain me. "Bella! My baby girl is getting married. Look at you, you're so grown up!"

"Mom," I laughed, returning her hug. "You just saw me a couple of months ago, I haven't changed that much."

"Yes you have, you're a woman now." The waterworks started, I got my easy tears from my mother. She released me and turned to Alice. "You must be Alice, I'm so happy to meet you!" And then Alice was embraced as well.

She laughed. "Yes, Renee, I'm so glad to meet you. I hope you're ready for tonight."

A sparkle entered my mother's eyes. "More than ready! " Oh no. What were they planning? Mom looked around. "Where's Charlie?"

"At work, mom."

"He'll be off at six and meet up with the guys then, it's all arranged." Alice informed her. What was arranged? I looked at Alice questioningly.

"The bachelor party, Bella. What do you think the guys will be doing while we have our fun? They're having their own!"

"Does Edward know?"

She grinned mischievously. "He knows only what we wanted him to know." Well, at least he was in for a surprise as well. I wondered what they were going to do with him. "Let's head over to our house. Phil, you can wait with Carlisle until the guys are ready to go."

Alice herded us out to the Mercedes. She was practically vibrating with excitement and my mother looked nearly as overcome as she was. This was going to be one long day. We pulled up in front of the Cullen house and my mother started exclaiming right away. "Oh, it's so lovely! It's the perfect place for a wedding."

Alice grinned in kinship with my mother. "Let me show you what we've done out back. Bella, you just go inside, no peeking." I gratefully escaped into the house while Alice led Renee and Phil to the backyard.

Esme came down the stairs and wrapped me in her loving embrace. I relaxed into her. "Bella, dear, you look stressed. Come, sit with me for awhile." She led me gently to the couch and kept her arms around me. "What's wrong? You're not having second thoughts, are you?" A look of fear flitted over her perfect features.

"Oh no, Esme!" I hastened to reassure her. "I'm not worried about the wedding. I'm worried about this bachelorette party." She relaxed at that.

"There's nothing to worry about, Bella, really. I didn't let Alice go wild. It's just going to be us and Angela and Jessica." I groaned at the mention of Jessica. I'd managed to put her out of my mind since I'd asked her to be in the wedding. "We'll have food and talk and open some presents. That's all, I promise!"

"Alright, I'll hold you to that. I think I'm going to head up to Edward's room for awhile, until the party starts." Esme laughed at the obvious reluctance in my voice. I made my escape and threw myself into our bed, wishing he was there next to me. He would be after today. The thought of that brought a smile to my face. I closed my eyes knowing that tomorrow I'd be Bella Cullen.

I woke to a soft, cool hand tracing my cheek. My eyes opened and I took in the beautiful eyes of my love. "Good evening, sweetheart." His gorgeous voice was like a caress in itself. "I've been sent to summon you down to the living room." He smirked. "Your party is about to start. Alice only gave me five minutes with you before she's kicking me out of the house for the night."

I frowned at that. "It's my party; shouldn't I get to do what I want to do?" With that I sat up and pressed a kiss to his waiting lips.

"You would think so, but then you would be forgetting that we put my sister in charge of all wedding activities. I don't know about you, but I'm afraid to deviate from her orders. She's vicious when she doesn't get her way." I sighed. "Come on, love, it'll be over before you know it."

"What are you going to be doing anyway?" I asked.

"For once in my life, I haven't any idea. They've all managed to keep it from me. I think only Alice actually knows. She gave Jasper a piece of paper and told him to open it after they leave." He sounded irritated.

"Welcome to the world the rest of us live in." At least if I had to suffer, he'd be suffering too.

"Bellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." The voice came from downstairs. There was a hint of anger mixed in with the exasperation.

"I told you. Come on, Bella." I let him tug me out the door this time. May as well get it over with. We descended the stairs and came into a transformed living room. There were presents and wedding decorations and appetizers and cake. At least I'd get some food out of the deal. The room was filled with people, the men waiting to take Edward on their mystery outing and the girls there for the party. I smiled when I saw Angela. I'd missed her.

"Angela!" I walked forward and she enveloped me in a hug.

"Congratulations, Bella, I'm so happy for you." I glanced over her shoulder and saw someone who looked not quite so happy.

"Hey, Jess."

"Hi, Bella. Thanks for inviting me!" She almost sounded sincere. Edward must not have liked something in her thoughts because he came over and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I'm going to miss you." I turned and pressed up against him, reaching around his shoulders and pulling him closer.

"I'll miss you too."

"I'll be home sometime before midnight so I get a chance to see you before the wedding. I have something for you." I nearly groaned at the thought of another present but something in his eyes kept me from doing so.

"I have something for you too." He smiled, surprised and relieved that I was being gracious for once. I had to try to be better about that, it made him so happy to give me things. Alice was right, as usual.

Emmett came up and pulled Edward gently from my arms. "Time to go, bro! Don't worry, sis, we'll have him back for the wedding!"

I laughed. "You'd better, Emmett, don't make me come after you." He guffawed at the idea of me being a threat to him. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, "Maybe not now, but after my change, I'll be stronger than you. Don't forget it."

He grinned. "I'll take you on, then! Come on guys!" He swept Jasper, my father, Phil, Carlisle and Edward out of the room. I took a deep breath and turned back to face the girls. I was surprised to see that Rose was sitting on the couch next to Esme.

Alice ran up and grabbed me. "Now the bride gets to sit here." She led me over to a recliner and slapped a tiara and veil on my head.

"Alice, is this really…" She silenced me with a look. Time to just suck it up in silence, clearly.

"There! Now, we decided that since you are indeed a blushing bride in every sense of the word, that the more experienced ladies would give you a little guidance before your big night tomorrow." Oh my God. She did not just announce to the room that I was a virgin, did she? I glanced over and saw by Jessica's smirk that yes, she really had.

My mother started laughing. "Bella, I don't think I've ever seen your face any redder! There's nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean, I can't fathom why you and Edward decided to wait until marriage in this day and age, but it's a legitimate choice. Of course I think you should definitely give him a go before you say I do, just to make sure you're compatible and all, but there's no time now."

Esme tried valiantly to come to my rescue. "Now, Renee, Edward is a good boy. He wanted to do right by Bella and wait until they were married first."

Renee actually choked with laughter. "What year is it, 1920?" I risked a glance at Alice and saw she was biting her lip. "In this day and age the kids don't even wait until they know one another's last name, let alone until marriage!" Kill me now, please.

Alice must have sensed my distress. "Well, even if I am a bit biased since he's my brother, I have to say that Bella is getting one of the last true gentlemen out there." Thank you, Alice. "Anyway, Bella, we're not going to get down and dirty with the details, but we thought we could just give you some tips. We were all innocent once."

"Speak for yourself!" Was my mother drunk? Esme had given her a glass of champagne but I don't think she'd taken more than a sip.

"Mom, I don't think…"

"Ladies, let me tell you the story of my first time with Bella's father." No. This could not be happening. My mother had always been the queen of over-sharing but she would surely not tell a room of virtual strangers and her daughter about sex with my father.

Rose grinned. "Do tell, Renee. The strong, silent types like Charlie are usually wild in the sack, aren't they?" She would encourage her. "Did he jump you on your first date?"

"First date!" Renee shrieked. "Honey, we didn't even get to the first date!" What? Rose and Alice looked delighted. Jessica shook with laughter. Esme had a demure smile. Angela had the courtesy to at appear mortified like I was; she was shifting in her seat and looking at the front door, as if contemplating bolting for it. I'd be right behind her if she went for it.

"You see, I met Charlie when he arrested me." So much for that nice story they told me about a picnic in the park. "I was skinny dipping in the lake over at Polk Park. It was about 10 PM, I'd actually been out on a date with David Crowley." I choked. Tyler's dad? Jessica was no longer just shaking with laughter, she was crying. "We were at the park but he was too much of a wuss to get in the water with me, so he watched while I swam. But when Charlie came up he took off and left me there!" After all this time she still sounded angry about it.

"Anyway, I see the police car and I see Charlie striding towards the water. He shined his flashlight right at me and I really had no choice but to acknowledge him. David had left me high and not so dry, after all." She laughed at her cleverness. "So I said, hello officer. He asked what I was doing and I told him I'd gone for a swim and asked if he'd like to join me. He got all flustered and even though it was dark you could almost see him blushing. Bella gets that from him." She broke off to smile at me. She really was oblivious to my discomfort.

"He stammered a little and said no, then informed me that swimming at night was against the law. I apologized and told him I'd had no idea and asked if he could look the other way, just this once. He was so cute, Bella, he took that to mean that I was getting out the water and wanted him to look away so he wouldn't see me emerge. He actually turned around and looked the other way. I got out of the water and walked over to where my clothes were but I decided I wanted to have some fun with the sweet officer instead." I groaned.

"I walked up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around and his jaw dropped when he saw I wasn't wearing anything yet. I smiled up at him and asked him if he had a blanket in his car because I was all wet. Once I was close to him I saw how cute he was, with those curls and that sexy little moustache. Initially I was just going to tease him but his reaction drew me in. I saw the desire in his eyes mixed in with his embarrassment. He stammered some more and said he would get me a blanket. He practically ran to his car and I just stood there waiting for him. He came back with some ratty police blanket and threw it at me, trying to look away but failing miserably." She smiled as she reminisced.

"Instead of wrapping myself up in it, which I'm sure he expected me to do, I just used it like a towel, running it over every inch of my body. He couldn't take his eyes off me. I smiled at him and said thanks officer, waiting for him to tell me his name. He told me his name was Charlie Swan. I stuck out my hand and told him it was nice to meet him, I was Renee. He took my hand in his and our gazes locked and that was it! Before either one of us really thought about it I was in his arms and we were kissing. I had his clothes off in less than a minute and we were rolling around on that grass right after. Don't tell Phil this but I think that was the best sex I ever had in my life. Just raw and wild and free." Finished telling her tale, she leaned back and smiled at us all.

"Wow, Renee that is really something. It is always the quiet ones!" Alice laughed knowingly. Oh man, Jasper was quiet. I didn't need to be thinking about these things!

Rose was laughing at shaking her head. "I've never been with one of those silent types, Renee, but you're sure making me wish I had!"

Jessica pointed at me and giggled. "You and Tyler could have been siblings! His crush on you holds all sorts of new meaning now! You're sure nothing like your mom, are you Bella?"

I just shook my head. I couldn't even talk in that moment. I pushed myself up muttering something about the bathroom and dashed upstairs. I grabbed the phone and called Edward's cell. "Bella, hi, how's the party going?"

"It's terrible, come save me!"

"Terrible how?" He knew I wasn't being tortured at my own party.

"Terrible in that my mother just told a sex story about her and my father." He laughed, that traitor. "Edward!"

"I'm sorry, love, it just sounds like you're getting a little bit of what I've gotten from my brothers over the years. I feel for you, I really do!" Ha, I might believe that if he didn't sound so amused.

"Where are you guys, anyway?"

"Would you believe at a strip club?" What? I heard the music in the background, Warrant's Cherry Pie. He was at a strip club.

"Alice arranged for you to go to a strip club? Why?"

"I guess she thought it would prepare me for tomorrow. That and she assumed your father and Phil would find it fun."

Uh huh. "And is it?"

"Not for me. Emmett's enjoying himself and Phil and your father seem to be quite content. Jasper's having a hard time dealing with the lust in the air."

"Why aren't you having fun? Looking at naked girls is supposed to be a turn on for all guys." I was jealous, I couldn't help it.

"I don't have any interest in anyone but you, Bella," he said gently. I knew it was true, but it was nice to hear. "Throw in the fact that I can actually hear their thoughts and not only am I not interested, I'm turned off."

This intrigued me. "How so?"

"Well the girl dancing right now is thinking about her deadbeat ex-husband and how she needs to earn $300 at least tonight to pay the rent." He sounded sad for her. "It's not exactly enticing, you know what I mean?" I did, and I just bet he was going to make sure to tip her the money she needed.

"You'll take care of that, won't you?"

"Well, I don't want anybody to lose their home…"

"You're a wonderful man, Edward Cullen. I can't wait to be your wife."

I could hear the smile enter his voice. "I can't wait either. I love you and I'll see you very soon. Go back to your party; it won't be much longer until I'm with you." I hung up and prepared myself to see what the rest of the night had in store.


	11. Chapter 11

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 11

BPOV

I got off Edward's bed, _our bed, _and went to head back to the party. I opened the door without looking and plowed right into someone. "Oof!" Soft hands caught me before I could topple over. I looked up into the concerned blue eyes of my mother.

"Bella, are you okay?"

"Oh, of course, Mom, I was just calling Edward for a second." Trying to get him to come rescue me, but you don't need to know that.

My mom looked at me like she could see right through me; which, now that I think about it, she generally always could. "Bella, let's talk for a minute, alright?"

"Sure." I sat back on the bed and waited to hear what my mother had to say. She glanced around and took in all of Edward's music and journals.

"This is a great room. He really is a collector, isn't he? He's got music older than me!" Oh, Mom, if you only knew.

"Yeah, Edward's eclectic like that."

Renee heaved a breath and sat down on the golden comforter next to me. "Bella, I'm sorry if I embarrassed you downstairs. I wasn't trying to, you know. We've always been open about sex and I thought that sharing that story might make you less nervous about tomorrow, honestly."

"But, Mom, can you see where it would be weird to hear about my parents going at it within moments after they met?" I mean, really, who wants to know that about their parents anyway?

She laughed. "Yes, I guess I wouldn't want to hear my mother talk about my father that way either. It's just that, here you are, almost nineteen years old and you're getting married tomorrow, but that time with Charlie still feels like yesterday. It makes me feel young again to remember just how wild I could be; and just how different your father could be. He's so controlled now. He grew up long before I did and that's why we grew apart."

I hadn't ever really thought of their breakup like that. I guess I always assumed Charlie was the same Charlie that she married. "So Dad changed?"

"He had to, Bella. He had a wife and a child. He was always responsible, that never changed, it's just that he tucked that wilder side away so he could concentrate on doing the right thing. It's what he should have done; I just didn't appreciate it at the time." In all these years we'd never really talked about their divorce, though I knew they were opposites in every way. I guess it wasn't always so.

"And, honey, that's really why I wanted to share that story with you."

"What do you mean, Mom?"

"I mean that you're so like your father, so serious and so committed. It's a wonderful trait and I'm glad you take after him on that front, but I really wanted to remind you to have some fun. Get wild with your husband while you have the chance. You're young and you should roll around in the grass and have passionate sex." Oh, Mom, I wish! Right now just getting him to make love to me will be a big accomplishment.

Something in my face must have alerted my mother to some of my thoughts, because she reached out and cupped my chin. "Bella, surely you know that Edward is crazy about you. It's written all over his face every time he looks at you. You guys waited for a reason, one I definitely don't understand but I can surely respect. Your first time will be beautiful, as it should be. While I have no regrets over the way your father and I came together, it was different for us, neither one of us were innocent. Just promise me that someday soon you'll have some spectacular, spontaneous sex."

I laughed, I couldn't help myself. "Yes, I promise." It'd have to wait until I was a vampire, but I would be sure to attack Edward any chance I got.

"Now I believe you have a party to attend, young lady." Mom took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I groaned. "None of that, or I'll tell another Charlie story."

"Okay, okay! I'm putting on my party face, Mom."

She laughed and gave me a quick hug. "Let's go, I'm interested to hear if that snotty Jessica has any good stories to share."

"Mom!"

"What, I don't like the way she treats you." My ever observant mother continues to see everything, hopefully that's the only act she sees through tonight.

We headed back down the party where it appeared that Rose was just finishing up her own story. "And then the bed frame cracked and we rolled under the desk, upending that and causing everything to crash around us, including the computer. Of course my monkey man didn't let that stop him." Angela's jaw was wide open and Jessica looked shell-shocked. Esme and Alice both just shrugged as they'd probably been there and experienced it themselves.

"Bella, there you are!" Alice beamed at me. "Story time is almost over, but maybe Jess has a story to share?" Everyone turned to look at Jessica to see if she had anything to impart.

"Me?"

"Yes, Jessica, you were having fun laughing at all our sex stories, surely you have something to tell." Rosalie pinned her with a pointed stare. "Or are you all talk, no action? You walk around school acting like you're some kind of hot piece, so let's hear it."

Jessica looked mortified. "Um, uh, I really don't have anything remotely like that to share."

"Oh really? So those rumors I heard about you and Mike Newton…" Rosalie was enjoying herself. She looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"What? What have you heard?"

"Come on, Jess, spit it out." I almost felt sorry for her, she seemed quite agitated. She wouldn't look any of us in the eye and she kept clenching her fists.

"Look, Rosalie, if she doesn't want to share she doesn't have to. We can do something else. There's cake and presents, right?" That was a first, me asking for presents, but I wanted to take some heat off Jessica.

I guess she didn't appreciate my help, though, because she pinned me with a hot glare. Her brown eyes bore into mine and she sniped, "No, Bella, it's okay; you should know what first time sex really is like." Uh oh. "It's not hot times by the lake or bed breaking. It hurts and it's over quick and it's really not fun, if you must know." What was I supposed to say to that?

"Hmm, well it's really all about your partner. Guess you just chose badly." God, Rosalie was evil. Funny, but evil.

"Um, sorry, Jessica?" It came out sounding like a question and I wasn't sure what I was sorry about; Rose's treatment of her or bad sex with Mike Newton? I really didn't want to think about the latter though. Now I had a new worry. Was it going to be really bad with me and Edward? We were both virgins after all.

Esme, ever the peacemaker, came and sat next to me. "Don't worry, Bella. Everyone's first time is different." She looked around the room. "Carlisle wasn't my first husband. I was a child bride prior to meeting him. It was an arranged marriage and we didn't really know each other well. I can't lie and say the sex was something I enjoyed or wanted at that time; it was more just a chore that I did." She squeezed my hand. "But after I lost my husband, I met Carlisle. Our first time was magical. He was gentle and loving and kind. He was everything. The sex act itself was no different, but the feelings and love behind it made everything wonderful and new. I have no doubt that's how it will be with you and Edward, because you share a special kind of love that few people find."

Tears welled up in my eyes and spilled over. "Thank you, Esme," I whispered. "Even though we're both inexperienced, I can't help but feel it will be right, just like you said." I did feel that way. I was nervous, of course, but I knew being with Edward would be a dream come true.

"Time for presents!" Alice's timing was impeccable, as always. I had to stifle the urge to run as she brought over package after package.

"Alice, there are only a few of us here, why do I have twenty gifts?"

"Silly Bella, you know I wasn't going to get you just one thing!" Of course not, this was Alice we were talking about. I should be glad she didn't get me more.

"Alright, bring it on." Best to get it over with. The majority of the packages were lingerie. Bag after bag of fancy French lingerie that I didn't think I could even figure how to put on, if I were going to wear them, which I wasn't. "Alice, this is see-through!" I hissed as I took in some beige nightie that looked like it was made out of fish net.

"Well duh, Bella, it's supposed to be."

"Why put it on if you can see through it?" I really found that concept baffling.

Alice glared at me. "He'll like it, just trust me on that." Oh man, she'd seen me in this thing in one of her visions? That was just too much.

"I'm not wearing it."

I pictured myself throwing it away. Alice must have seen that because she shrieked, "Bella Swan, you will not throw away a Jean LeClerc nightie!"

"Alright, alright, I won't throw it away." Nor will I wear it. She seemed appeased though, because she stopped yelling at me.

I opened up the next package, a gift from my mother. Now this was more like it. It was a pretty blue baby doll nightgown. It was on the short side but it wasn't see-through and it actually covered everything. It was quite beautiful. "Oh mom, I love it."

"I thought maybe you could wear it on your wedding night. Alice told me that blue was Edward's favorite color on you." I tried to picture his face when he saw me in it but I really wasn't sure how he'd react. I think he'd like it though.

Alice handed me another package. "This is from Rosalie." Oh, Lord, Rosalie got me a present? This couldn't be good. I ripped into it and felt the tell-tale blush spread across my face. She'd gotten me a big blue 8" vibrator. I didn't even know what to say, if I had any words at all.

"Just in case brother dear doesn't know what he's doing." Rosalie purred at me. "And blue is his favorite color on you, after all." With that, I lost it. I laughed for about ten minutes straight. It was humiliating but hilarious and I couldn't help myself. Everybody joined in with me though.

Once the laughter died down I continued opening my presents. Jessica and Angela had gotten me some bath and body lotions and Esme got me another pretty white nightgown, satin that flowed all the way to the floor. At least I had a few new things that I'd be comfortable wearing, unlike the atrocities Alice had saddled me with. A red leather bustier? Really?

"Thanks everyone, really, these are great." Alice passed out the cake and we all sat around eating, or pretending to eat in the case of the vampires.

We finished with our cake and suddenly Alice's head shot up and she said "They're back!" The men had returned. Before I could stand up Edward was next to me.

"Hello, love, did you have a good time?"

"Actually I did, I got some lovely gifts…"

"Which he will get to see at a later time," Alice interrupted, stowing the gifts back in their bags.

Edward just smiled his heart stopping grin. "I'll look forward to that, then. If you ladies don't mind, I'd like to borrow my bride for a few minutes."

"Edward!" Alice's voice held a warning.

"Alice, it's 11:12, I have 47 minutes before I have to return her and be out of the house. I know your rules."

"Well, alright then." At Alice's acquiescence, Edward swept me up and carried me up the stairs bridal style.

"I think you're a day early for this," I reminded him.

"Practice makes perfect, Bella."

"Ha, we have plenty of practice of you hauling me around, but if you'd like to practice something else…"

He deposited me back on the bed and shook his head at me. "Let's not go there right now. I believe we have some gifts to exchange?"

"Ugh, more presents."

"Love, you promised. This is important." He was right, I did. Plus I was pretty excited to give him my gift.

"Okay, can I give you yours first?" He nodded. I handed him the gift bag. "Tell me about your night, how was it?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "Emmett had fun playing the horny human teenager. He kept yelling at the girls to take it all off. Of course, then he informed all of us that Rosalie was hotter than all of the girls there put together." I laughed. "He and Jasper thought it would be fun to embarrass me by ordering me lap dances but I refused every time, gave them to your father and Phil."

Oh, ick. "Uh, not an image I needed!"

He grinned. "They had a good time, at least."

"That's good, I guess. Now open your present." He made quick work of the shiny blue paper and flipped open the box. He lifted up the pocket watch and flipped it over, reading the inscription and seeing the date.

"Bella, it's wonderful. You couldn't have found anything better. Is it really from 1918?"

"Yes, from the year you changed, which brought you to me. I had to get it for you."

"I love it, truly." He leaned over and kissed me softly. "Now, your turn!"

He handed me two square packages. "Two?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"They go together and before you start, they're not expensive at all." He knew me so well.

I opened the larger package first and found an engraved journal. _Breaking Dawn_ by Isabella & Edward Cullen. It was beautiful, green leather with gold writing. I flipped it open and found page after page in Edward's perfect flowing script.

_It was a day like any other in Forks, rainy and cold, even for March. The school was buzzing about the presence of a new girl, Isabella Swan. _I looked over at Edward. "What is this, exactly?" I knew what it was but I wanted to know what it meant to him.

"It's a journal documenting our story. I wrote my version and there's plenty of space there for you to write yours."

"It's lovely. How did you think of it?" I really wanted to ask why, because I suspected his answer would be the best gift he could give me.

He looked uncomfortable and ran his hand through his perpetually messy hair. "It's just, when you change, you'll still have your human memories but they won't be as sharp as they are now, so I wanted to write everything I could down for you. That way you can go back and read it when you need to remember." There it was. He was really and truly accepting of my change. He may not like it but he was going to do it anyway.

"It's beautiful. Thank you, Edward." I couldn't stop the tears from flowing if I tried. He reached over and wiped them away with his cool fingers. "It means the world to me that you would give me our memories for a present."

He smiled and brushed the last tear away. "Open the other one." I ripped into that and it was another journal, just titled _Bella's Childhood_. I flipped it open and saw more of Edward's writing, documenting the stories he'd been begging me for night after night. He'd put all my mishaps and memories down there for me to get to any time I needed them. "Again, there are a lot of blank pages so you can jot down anything we didn't discuss yet or whatever you want, really."

I stood up and threw my arms around him. "These are the best gifts I could ever ask for. Thank you, Edward." I kissed him, harder than he usually allowed but he wasn't about to stop me in this moment. We melted into one another.

"Edwardddddddddddd" came the shout from downstairs. "Time!" He groaned and pulled away from me. We both glanced at the clock and saw that it was 11:57 PM now.

"Alice has the worst timing, ever." I grumbled.

"That she does, love, but I did make her a promise. Next time I see you, you'll be walking down the aisle. I can't wait." He was so excited and truthfully so was I. Seeing him waiting for me in a tux would be quite a treat.

I kissed him one more time. "I'll see you at the altar." He flashed me his special smile and got out of the house before Alice could start yelling at him anymore.


	12. Chapter 12

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 12

EPOV

I was getting married today and my bride was being held captive by my tiny but terrifying sister. I wasn't complaining, though. Alice being busy with Bella kept me from having to deal with anything other than her mental shouting from inside the house. _Edward, you get Jasper and Emmett and make sure we have enough chairs set up in the living room. Do not even think about coming upstairs! _So I got the guys and we made sure we had enough chairs for the guests.

_Edward, go outside immediately and make sure the caterer is setting everything up exactly as I diagrammed. _A glance out the window confirmed everything was up to Alice's specifications so I didn't bother to go outside. I busied myself at my piano, knowing that Bella would be able to hear me from Alice's room I played her song. I wanted her to know that I was thinking of her and couldn't wait to become her husband. Just as I played the finishing chord a tiny whirlwind appeared at my side.

"Edward Cullen, I asked you to do just one thing and you can't even bother to do it?" Alice's rage was palpable.

"I looked out the window and everything is as it should be, Alice." She threw her hands up in disgust and walked away muttering about if needing something done right and having to do it herself. She went out to bully the caterer and I counted myself lucky to be alone. _I'm not done with you, yet. The Denali's will be arriving in 10 minutes. You get to greet them and play the good host. It's the least you can do since you've done NOTHING AT ALL today! _I stifled a groan;I could not wait for the wedding that I had fantasized about countless times to be over with at this point.

I'll never forget the first time I thought about marrying Bella. It was the day that I first heard her say my name in her sleep; the day I fell completely in love with her. I'd been denying it up until that point but knowing I was in her dreams, as she would be in mine were I capable of having them, brought down all the barriers I'd erected for my own self preservation. I'd sat in her rocking chair and imagined what it would be like to see Bella draped in white, on her father's arm, ready to walk down the aisle. Of course, my imagination had her marrying some unworthy human boy, because then I could not fathom that she could ever be mine. But somehow, here we were, on our wedding day. Bella was going to be my wife. I was going to be her husband. We'd be together forever. It was humbling; she truly was the best thing that had ever happened to me.

Emmett interrupted my ruminations with a huge put upon sigh. "Alice says we have to go and scoop up every leaf on the property. We live in a forest! How are there supposed to be no leaves on the ground?" His face furrowed in consternation.

"Well it won't take us long to get what's already on the ground cleaned up but how she figures more won't fall between now and then is beyond me."

"Weddings suck. I'm so glad this is going to be the last one we ever have to deal with."

"What do you mean, Emmett? You and Rose get married every decade or so."

"Yeah but it's the last first wedding. Ours are no big deal and we don't have the human element to deal with. Did you get a load of all that food out there? Did we invite the entire town?"

"No, thankfully Bella put her foot down there. Really it's only us, Charlie & Renee & Phil, the Denali's, a few people from the hospital and some kids from school." I said the last part a little sourly. I couldn't believe Alice had invited Bella's old friends, though I used the term friends lightly.

"Kids from school? Like Newton?"

Ugh. "Yes, she invited Newton and Crowley and Yorkie."

Emmett let out a big belly laugh. "Bella's fan club! Awesome! This wedding might be fun after all!"

I glared at him. "Fun for you, maybe, you don't have to hear their thoughts." Mike Newton had barely escaped with his life the last couple of years. His thoughts of Bella angered me nearly as much as Jacob's had. He was only alive because killing him would have made us leave and then I couldn't see Bella.

Emmett slapped one of his big hands down on my shoulder. "Chill out, bro, you got the girl. They get to sit by and watch you marry her. You won. It's fantastic! They'll be so jealous!" Hmmm, he had a point. "Why do you think they invited Stanley? Same thing, she gets to see that Bella won you. I think you'll enjoy their thoughts today, my brother."

Before I could respond, Jasper entered the room followed by an irate Alice. "There is entirely too much dirt outside, dresses will get dirty. Do something about it!" Jasper just rolled his eyes at us and went to get a broom from the garage. The man had the patience of a saint.

"Dirt and leaves, outside? How ever did that happen?" Emmett was poking the grizzly bear with a stick in pure Emmett fashion. He never learned. Alice's face darkened and if we had any blood running through our veins she would have been bright red.

"Emmett Cullen, I believe you are supposed to be outside cleaning up the leaves. You could have been done by now but you're busy standing around doing nothing with our equally useless brother! Just for that, you can go and see the caterer. They want us to test the food to make sure it's all up to snuff and none of the humans are here yet. Enjoy forcing that down!" _If he thinks he's going to mess with me today, he's got another thing coming._

"No way, Alice, I'm not touching the food. I'll go take care of your damn leaves but…"

"Don't make me get Rose down here. She's in a bad mood as it is." The ultimate threat; bringing in Rosalie. Not that Rose cared about the wedding going off but since the day was here, she just wanted it over and done with. She'd do anything to get it sped along, including making her husband eat human food.

"Fine, I'm going!" Emmett stomped off, any traces of his previous amusement at my expense washed away with his irritation at the tasks before him.

Alice leveled me with a gaze. "What? Should I go out and make sure there are no insects flying around in the Cullen airspace?" Oops, I was getting sarcastic too. _Very funny, Edward, why am I the only one who wants this wedding to be perfect? I'm doing it all for you and Bella and all I get are sarcastic remarks and little effort. _

"Sorry, Alice, what would you like me to do?"

"The Denali's are pulling up now, go and greet them and show them around. Let the girls use the guest room on the second floor for changing and such. I have to get back to Bella. And no peeking!"

"I haven't been, I want some things to be a surprise and Bella's the only one capable of giving me that." Plus I really didn't want to be in Alice's head anymore than necessary today. It was full of chaos.

"Go, now!" Bossy little vampire. I went outside to greet our old friends and steeled myself for Tanya's response to me.

"Carmen, Eleazar, Tanya, Kate; it's so good to see you!" They all emerged from a tinted white Explorer. Tanya immediately ran over and wrapped her arms around me.

"Edward! I can't believe all the Cullen men are taken. It's a sad day for single women everywhere!" I gave her a quick squeeze and pulled back to look at her. She was wearing a soft yellow sundress with a matching hat, her strawberry blond curls cascading from underneath.

"Tanya, you look lovely."

"I wish I could say the same for you, why are you wearing jeans on your wedding day?"

I laughed. "Alice has us doing all-important tasks like making sure there are no leaves on the ground and cleaning up the dirt outside. If I tried to wear my tux, she'd probably hogtie me. Actually, maybe I should go change come to think of it."

Carmen giggled. "I'm sure Alice is having a field day. And where is your lovely bride? We're all dying to meet Bella."

_Yeah, I want to see the girl that moved the immovable Edward Cullen. She must really be something._ I raised an eyebrow at Tanya. "Alice has her sequestered in her bedroom; I don't think anybody is going to see her until she walks down the aisle. I've been ordered under threat of death not to appear on that floor or dip into anybody's head to try to catch a glimpse."

Eleazar came up and held his hand out to mine. "Edward, I'd like to formally apologize for our family. We should have been here when you were having problems with Victoria and the newborns." I had to fight to keep from tensing up at that memory. Their desertion had surprised us all.

"No need to apologize, Eleazar. You don't know Bella and I understand that Irina was upset about Laurent."

"It's no excuse, Edward. We know you and we should have been there for you. It won't happen again, I do hope you forgive us."

"Nothing to forgive, honestly." I wasn't going to hold a grudge against my extended family. "I guess Irina wasn't ready to see us?"

Kate sighed. "No, she's still pretty upset. She made the choice not to come with us." _And she'll regret it someday, I'm sure._

"Well I'm sorry she isn't here, but I'm glad that you are. I look forward to you meeting my Bella." I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice and they all laughed at me.

_He is well and truly gone over her. _I smiled. "That I am, Tanya." I was thrilled that she didn't seem offended by the fact that I'd found someone after all those years of rejecting her. Rosalie could learn a thing or two from Tanya, apparently.

_Edward, Charlie should be here in 5 minutes. Send him up to me immediately! I have to get him into his tux and make sure he's presentable. While you're waiting for him, go around back and make sure Emmett and Jasper have cleaned everything up properly. Then you better go get yourself ready, we only have two hours! _" Alice is shouting more orders for me in her head, please feel free to go inside, Esme's in the living room finalizing some set up with the flowers. I'm sure she would love the company and possibly some help."

Kate laughed. "Yes, we'll go see Esme. I don't think any of us want to be near Alice right now."

"I heard that!" she bellowed from somewhere on the second floor. They all laughed and headed inside while I went around back. The grounds were immaculate. A white tent was flapping gently in the breeze as waiters ran from place to place finishing the set up. The day was typical Forks; overcast but there wasn't a hint of rain. Alice had been tuned in mentally to the weather for weeks. I saw Jasper over by a rather large elm tree.

"What are you doing, Jasper?"

"Watching our brother make an idiot of himself."

I looked up and saw Emmett climbing to the very top of the tree. "Em, what are you doing up there?"

He scowled down at me. "I'm knocking free any loose leaves. Every time I get the area cleaned a breeze rustles and knocks more out of this tree. I won't have Alice screaming at me." _Or worse, siccing Rose on me._

"Em, I don't think she meant that you had to leave the trees leafless in your quest for cleanliness."

"Ha, that's what you think!"

I shook my head. "Charlie will be here in a minute, so try to keep the insanity dialed down a notch or two, okay?"

Emmett laughed. "When are you going to get to call him Dad?"

I rolled my eyes. "Probably never. We've gotten to the point where he doesn't want to shoot me every time he sees me, I think that's as good as it's going to get. Em, get out of the tree, we need to start getting ready." He hopped down, causing the ground to shake from his 50 foot plummet.

Jasper turned to look at me. "You're not even remotely nervous about this are you?"

"Not in the least. I'm happy and excited. I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

"Nice to know my gift won't need to be used on a worked up groom, then."

I grinned. "Yeah, you can save it for Bella. Knowing her, she's nervous enough for the both of us."

"She's actually relatively calm herself. She does want to marry you, for some inexplicable reason." I smacked him on the shoulder.

I walked around the house just as Charlie pulled into the drive. He'd been out fishing this morning, spending some time with Billy since he wouldn't be coming to the wedding. Alice had spoken to Charlie about inviting Billy and she'd convinced him that inviting him might be awkward, what with his son in love with Bella. Charlie talked to Billy about it and he agreed that it would be best if he stayed away. None of the wolves had been invited. I was sorry not to include Seth, for I really liked him, but I understood the pack loyalty and just felt it was better not to make anybody choose. Bella agreed. We wanted our wedding to be about us, not about treaties and pacts.

"Hello, Charlie."

"Edward." He didn't sound too happy. Getting dressed up was not exactly a favorite activity for Charlie Swan.

"I'm to tell you to get up to the second floor immediately. Alice is waiting for you." If it were possible for Charlie to get any more pale, those words had done it. Bella got her delicate coloring from her father.

He swallowed nervously. "How is she?"

"Bella?"

"No, I'm sure Bells is doing just fine. I meant, how is Alice? Is she…scary today?" Ha, my little sister had Chief Charlie Swan shaking like a leaf. I couldn't resist teasing him a little.

"She's on the warpath; I'm not going to lie. She had Emmett and Jasper cleaning up the dirt in the yard this morning."

"Oh man."

"Be glad that we're less than two hours from the wedding. She can't do too much to you in that limited amount of time."

Charlie looked at me balefully. "Somehow, I don't think that's true. Your sister is a force of nature."

I laughed. "True, I was just trying to make you feel a little bit better."

"It didn't work, but thanks for trying."

_Edward, I know he's here. Get him inside now! _"Well, I think we'd better get in the house, before Alice sends out a search party for you." He shuddered. "My cousins have arrived from Alaska; I'll give you a quick introduction before Alice descends upon you."

I led Charlie into the house and took him to the living room. "Charlie, this is Eleazar and his wife Carmen, Tanya and Kate. Everyone, this is Charlie Swan, Bella's father." Charlie took in the four beautiful people in front of him, looking rather dazed.

Tanya, never one to miss the opportunity to dazzle a male, walked over and offered Charlie her hand. "Why hello, Charlie, it's very nice to meet you. I'm Tanya." She was practically purring. Kate shook her head in the background.

"Uh, hello," Charlie stammered, turning the same shade of red his daughter often did when I turned on the charm. I was contemplating ways of getting Charlie upstairs when fate intervened in the form of a 4' 10" tornado.

"Charlie! There will be plenty of time for socializing during the reception. Come on up, I have your tuxedo ready to go." Alice was at the top of the stairs looking down at him, gripping the banister with too much force. She was going to break it if she wasn't careful.

Charlie snapped his eyes away from Tanya the instant he heard Alice's voice. "Yes, Alice, I'm coming." His voice was positively meek. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud. She had him cowed.

"Edward, you too. Get dressed so you can be ready when the guests start arriving." I swallowed and walked up the stairs with my father-in-law to be. Neither one of us was going to argue with her; we valued our lives too much.


	13. Chapter 13

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 13

So this story was all going to be told through Bella and Edward's eyes but Alice demanded that she get a little say about the laziness of the Cullen men on the big wedding day. They've been driving her nuts and their lack of concern over things of MAJOR importance to Alice has her wanting to share her view. Plus, she needs to have a talk with her new sister.

APOV

Lazy, incompetent vampire men! You ask them for one little thing and they act like you're being unreasonable for wanting it done in a timely fashion. Never mind that this whole wedding is on my tiny but oh so attractive shoulders! Never mind that because this event is half human my hands are tied and much has to be done on the final day! The human element really is quite frustrating! I could have had the flowers set up in the middle of the night but no, I had to wait for the florist to get here. I could have had the food all prepared except that I didn't eat food, so how was I to know if it was right or not? So I had to wait on the caterer too. And still, none of that is as annoying as my precious family's lack of urgency in completing the few reasonable tasks I ask of them! Only Esme was doing her share of the load, checking on the flower arrangements and making sure the house was spic and span.

Carlisle faked a "medical emergency" just to get out of the house for awhile. Does he really think that I don't know there is no emergency? Rosalie was not about to put herself out for this "farce" as she called the wedding. I was so sick of her attitude; maybe she'd get over Bella's presence in our lives in the next decade or two. My beloved Jasper was doing everything I asked but he was doing it with a sense of resignation; I could tell when he thought I was being ridiculous even if he loved me too much to say it. Emmett was beyond annoying; questioning everything I requested and acting like I was the one being unreasonable! And Edward! The groom, my beloved brother, was doing things like playing the piano instead of making the grounds shine for his own wedding!

Okay, yes, it was sweet that he played Bella her song. She'd actually still been sleeping and woke to it, mumbling Edward's name and reaching for him. It was quite cute, really. I think Jasper and I will have to play "human" sometime and he can find some sweet way to wake me…or maybe a sexy way. Hmmm. Oops, I'm getting sidetracked.

Clearly nobody but Esme really understood the importance of this event; especially the clueless vampire I was doing it all for. Edward thinks I'm being overly dramatic about the whole thing. As if you can be overdramatic about the most important day in 108 years of living! Is it wrong to want perfection for your favorite brother on his big day? He's been waiting for so long to find the one who would complete him. Even if he wasn't aware of it, I sure was. He didn't know just how unhappy and dissatisfied he really was until Bella came into his life. The smile she brought to his face, the joy none of us had ever seen before…this day, their official coming together could not be more important. Why could nobody see that but me and Esme? But no, I got attitude and avoidance from the remaining members of the Cullen family.

My phone buzzed with an incoming text message. _You're right, Alice. I'm sorry for laughing at your over exuberance when it comes to the wedding. Know that Bella and I really do appreciate everything you've done, even if we're both guilty of not acknowledging it. I love you. Always._

I sighed, at least I wouldn't have to text him back, I just sent him my thoughts. _You're forgiven, Edward. I'm just excited because I love you both so much and I want you to be happy._

_I couldn't be happier than I am today, Alice. Thank you for your part in helping Bella and I come together and stay together. If it hadn't been for your assurances, I would have run from her before we even started. I can never thank you enough._

Well now he did it. I was completely mollified. If I could cry, and it wouldn't ruin my already flawless makeup, I'd be doing it right now. _I never would have let you run from this, Edward. You finding your happiness means the world to me. I love you. Now finish making yourself devastatingly handsome and get down and greet the guests._

I laughed at the next text. _Aren't I always devastatingly handsome? That's what Bella says! I'm on it, sis, and thanks again._

Well now that the groom was on the same page as me, it was time for the bride to get her act together. "Bella, how are you doing in there? Are you about ready?" How long did she need to bathe anyway? I only had so much time to make her completely, breathtakingly beautiful.

"I'll be out in five minutes, Alice!" More waiting. Humans!

I ran down the hall to check on Charlie since Bella was making me wait. Could not one person do what they were supposed to? Charlie was still wearing his jeans and t-shirt, sitting on the bed and watching ESPN. Really? "Charlie Swan!" He jumped like I'd just fired his gun at him. "What do you think you're doing?"

He, unlike my brothers, at least had the decency to look somewhat apologetic. "Well there are still a couple of hours, Alice. I don't really need to be changed right this minute, do I?" I did my best to rein in my temper.

"Yes, actually you do. You need to get downstairs within the hour to greet the arriving guests. You are the father of the bride, you know!"

"Hey Charlie, have they shown Mariners highlights yet? I snagged you some food from the buffet, just don't tell Alice!" Emmett stepped into the doorway and then came to a standstill when he saw me. I gave him my best death glare while he stared at me like a deer in headlights.

"Emmett, why aren't you dressed yet?" What was with these guys?

"Come on, Alice, it'll take me two minutes to put on the monkey suit! I'm just going to chill with Charlie while he eats and then I'll get ready." He then spoke in a voice too soft for Charlie to hear. "You needed a food tester, right? Well Charlie can be your guinea pig instead of me!"

"Wow, that looks really good. Aren't you going to have any, Emmett?" Charlie took his plate and started to dig in.

"Yeah, brother dear, a big like you guy ought to be starving by now!" If he thought he was going to try to pull one over on me, he had another thing coming.

His eyes narrowed. "Actually, I already chowed down before I came up here. It's all excellent though. Enjoy Charlie! I think I'll go get ready now after all!" He backed out of the room as quickly as he could without dropping the human facade, his golden eyes watching me carefully.

I huffed and turned back to Charlie. "After you eat that food, you wash your hands and get dressed! No more dawdling! If I come in this room again and you're not ready, I'll be happy to assist you in dressing." Charlie swallowed his food quickly and started choking. I sighed and walked over to pat him on the back.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, I'm fine!" He choked out. "I'll be ready when you come back, I swear!" Ha, the threat of me physically dressing him was enough to move the man to action. If only everybody would fall in line so easily.

I went back to my room and found Bella wrapped in her white silk robe, gift from yours truly, pacing anxiously by the bed. "Bella, relax!"

"I can't help it, Alice. Everyone is going to be watching me walk down that aisle, waiting for me to fall."

"You're not going to fall, Bella. I've seen it, remember?" Jeez, would people start respecting my visions? I wasn't going to steer her wrong on her big day. "Now stop pacing and sit down at my vanity, I've got to get to work on your hair." I pushed her gently into the chair and got out my curling iron.

"Alright, so maybe I won't fall. But I will stammer and I'll blush and I'll embarrass myself and Edward. Everyone will laugh. Jessica will have a field day!" God save me from overdramatic brides.

"Bella, everyone has seen you blush, you blush at the slightest provocation. Nobody is going to find that funny; it will actually be rather endearing. You're not going to stammer, you just have to say two simple words. I do. Takes less than second! Calm down, will you?"

"Alice, I am going to be the center of attention. You know I hate it. Why did I let you and Edward talk me into this? We should have just eloped." She moaned and tried to bury her face in her hands. It might have worked had I not been brushing out her hair at the time.

"You listened to me because you know how important this is to Edward. And though you can't seem to grasp it right now, it's going to be just as important to you down the road, remembering the day that you became Bella Cullen."

"It still would have been important to both of us even if we married in Vegas." She grumbled.

I'd had it. "Bella, just stop! This wedding is for you and Edward but it's also for all the rest of us, too. Your father, who gets the chance to walk his little girl down the aisle. Your mother, who will get to see that someone else will care for and take care of you. All of us, who have watched Edward live alone for all these years and saw him truly come to life when he met you. Would you really be happy depriving us all out of something so special?"

Bella looked stricken and her face flushed. "You're right. It wouldn't be fair to you guys if we had eloped. I'm sorry, Alice. I'm just so nervous." I wound Bella's luxurious mahogany locks through the curling iron as I studied that guilty face. I'd made my point and now it was time to distract her.

"Is the wedding all that you're nervous about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you nervous about something else maybe?"

"Isn't the wedding enough to worry about?" She scoffed.

I shrugged. "I'm sure it's enough to worry about, I just don't think it's all you're worried about."

She wouldn't meet my eyes in the mirror. "What else would I possibly have to worry about?"

Beating around the bush was clearly not going to work with Bella, plus it just wasn't my style. "Oh, I don't know, maybe the wedding night?" Bella's head snapped up and her mouth hung open in an "O" shape.

"Um, why should I be worried about that? You already told me everything was going to be okay, right?" She squeaked it out, clearly not displaying any of the confidence her words attempted to express.

"I also told you the wedding itself would be fine but you're still nervous about that." Alice 1, Bella 0. I met her eyes in the vanity mirror and held steady until her gaze wavered.

"Alright, so I'm nervous about tonight too! How could I not be? I'd be nervous about sex under any circumstance, but you must admit that our circumstance is pretty unique and even scarier!" Now we were getting somewhere. I finished with the curling iron and began arranging Bella's hair so that most of it was pulled back but a few tendrils framed her face.

"Are you afraid he's going to hurt you?" He wasn't, I had seen that vision many times over and each time Bella came out of it unscathed and perfectly content. Not that I really wanted to see the two of them making love, but I was concerned enough about Bella to keep checking anyway.

Her eyes widened. "Oh no, Alice! I know he won't hurt me, at least not that way. I'm just afraid because I have no idea what I'm doing. I may be the most virginal virgin ever."

I snickered. "No, that title would probably go to my dear brother!"

"Not helping, Alice!" Alright, that was true.

I turned her to face me and began to go to work on her makeup. "Did you know that I was a virgin when I was with Jasper for the first time?"

"I…I guess I never really thought about it."

I smiled at her. "There's no reason that you would have. I wanted to discuss this with you last night but I thought it would be better one and one."

"Were you scared?"

Like lightning my mind shot back to that first time with Jasper, so many decades ago but it seemed like yesterday. The look of love in his eyes as he reached out and cupped my face; the gentleness of his touch; the feel of his body moving above mine and the completeness I felt when he made me his. "No. I think I would have been, with anybody else, but he was my Jasper. Looking into his eyes gave me all the confidence I needed."

"Did it hurt? I mean, I guess it's probably different since you were a vampire, but I was just wondering…"

"I don't know that it's that different. A first time is a first time. And yes, it did hurt for a minute; once I got past that though it not only didn't hurt, it felt wonderful. Would you like me to tell you about it?"

Bella gulped. "Yeah, if it doesn't make you too uncomfortable."

"How could talking about the most beautiful moment of my life with my best friend and almost sister make me uncomfortable?" Her eyes softened and she nodded at me to go on. "After I found Jasper in that diner, we walked out and went to a nearby hotel." Her eyes widened at that. "Not to have sex, silly girl. Just to find a place to talk. Though we were meant, we really needed to get to know one another a little first! What kind of girl do you take me for?"

Bella giggled. "We talked for hours. Days really. I couldn't tell you how long we talked, except that we were both starving when we were done. Jasper, of course, had never hunted an animal before. I had, because when I had my first vision of the Cullen's and knew I'd be headed to them eventually, I decided to learn. He and I went out to a forest and I showed him how to hunt deer. The look on his face when he tasted the blood of the stag he took down! It was pretty priceless! I told him that if we wanted this life, this better existence, that we'd better both learn to like it. He still struggles with that, but he did it for me. I never forget that."

Bella smiled. "He truly loves you; you both just fit together like…"

"Like you and Edward? You two come the closest to what we have. It's different, obviously, all situations are, but your love and devotion reminds me of ours. We didn't have to fight to be together the way you two did, but we're more similar than you might believe."

Her eyes glowed. "It makes me happy to hear you say that. You two just fit."

"As do you. Now where was I? Oh yes, our first hunt. After I convinced him that this lifestyle would be worth it for both of us; he reached out and took my hand and told me he'd do anything for me. He didn't have to tell me, I felt it, but that moment and those words moved me. We didn't even talk about it, we just came together. He reached out and took my face in his hands and leaned forward and kissed me so softly. That was my first kiss, at least, the first one I can remember. I was probably too young when I was institutionalized to have had one as a human…I'd rather have only kissed Jasper anyway so that's how I see it."

"Edward was my first kiss. I wish he was my only but Jake…"

"Bella, Jake doesn't truly count. You kissed him out of obligation and fear. Edward is your only, just as Jasper is mine."

She smiled shakily and fought back the tears that were brimming in her eyes. "I won't take you through every moment, but I will tell you that he touched me the same way I'm sure Edward will touch you. As if I was made of the most breakable glass…so softly. He cherished me, but when he laid me on the grass and held himself over me, I had a moment of panic, Bella."

"You did? Why?"

I laughed. "Because I got nervous. I'd never had sex before and I knew Jasper had." She gasped at that. "He was alive for a long time before he met me, Bella. Anyway, I was intimidated by that and of course afraid because I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I was overwhelmed by all these feelings of desire and love. It was scary."

"It is scary. I know Edward has never been with anyone before but I still feel like he knows so much more than I do."

"He doesn't, Bella. He knows minds but not hearts. You're his first experience with love, his only experience. It's new for both of you, trust me on that."

"I do trust you, Alice."

"I know, sweetie. So trust me when I tell you that though you will feel nervous and awkward, so will he. It won't matter though. Jasper was nervous too, though I didn't realize it at the time. He'd never been in love before, so it was new to him as well. We were both awkward. I won't get too graphic here, but I will tell you that he tried to move in one direction while I was moving in the other and I accidentally knocked him into a tree." I laughed at the memory. The look of surprise on Jasper's face and the mortification of my own. "It fell on top of us. All I could do was laugh, and then he started laughing and pretty soon we were in hysterics."

"No! Really?"

"Would I lie about that, Bella? I was embarrassed for all of a second before the hilarity struck me. Then you know what we did?" She shook her head. "We lifted the tree off us and got back to it. While there was still an occasional awkward movement, we got through and we learned about one another. It was still the most beautiful moment of my existence, even if it wasn't the most graceful love making ever to happen."

Her big brown eyes looked at me imploringly. "Will it be that way for me, minus the tree uprooting?"

I laughed. "I can't see how you feel at the time, not exactly anyway, but I can tell you that you do seem to enjoy yourself. And you love Edward and he loves you, that's really all that matters." It was only natural that she'd want to know.

"I hate asking all this, Alice, but really you're the only person I could ask. And it's not because you've seen it, but because you're the closest thing I've ever had to a sister."

"Oh, Bella! You are my sister!" I had to give her a hug, it was really the sweetest thing she'd ever said to me and it made me feel wonderful to know she felt the same way about me.

She bit her lip. "I hope our first time can be like yours was. I guess I just worry that it will be like Jessica described."

"It won't be! This is you and Edward, not Jessica and Mike. Hormonal high schoolers are quite different from two people deeply in love and expressing it physically. You're no Mike and Jessica, thankfully!"

Bella still looked at me with eyes full of nerves and doubt. "I just love him so much. And I want him so badly! This just feels like such a big deal since we waited until our wedding night. If only he would have given in when we got engaged!"

I couldn't help it; I had to let out a giggle. "Yes, doing it in the heat of the moment would have been easier than planning it out, but it also would have been less special. I'm not going to give anything away here, but I know Edward has really put a lot of thought into making tonight romantic for you."

Some of the nerves melted out of her eyes with those words. "He would do that, wouldn't he? How did someone so amazing fall in love with me?"

I wrapped my arms around her. "I'd say that he found someone equally amazing to share his life with. We're all better for having you in our lives, nobody more so than Edward."

She took a deep breath. "You swear that everything is going to be okay?"

"Bella, I'm sure of it. The only thing I've ever been surer of is Jasper. And you know how that turned out! Now stand up, it's time to put on your dress." I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice. I couldn't wait to see her all done up, visions were only so satisfying. I slipped the dress on her and turned her around to zip her in. "Oh Bella! You've never been more beautiful!"

I pulled her up to the large mirrored closet and let her see just how stunning she was. Her jaw actually dropped open. "Alice, I don't know how you did it but I look good!"

I shook my head. "My brother is right, you don't see yourself clearly. Look at how gorgeous you are!"

I watched her eyes change as she stared at herself. Confidence started to replace the fear. "You're going to blow my brother and everyone else down there away when they see you."

Bella took a deep breath. "Thank you, Alice. I'm ready."

I knew she was just talking about for the wedding anymore. "Yes, you are."


	14. Chapter 14

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 14

**A/N So it's finally Edward & Bella's wedding day. I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it. Special thanks to my betas Rameau and Tripp 3525 for helping me with each and every chapter, their input has been invaluable.**

**Because I don't say it enough, it should be obvious that I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. On to the wedding!**

EPOV

You would think after 108 years of living, time would cease to be an issue. A year felt like a day, a decade a month. Time was just a concept that really didn't affect me anymore. Time was something for humans to worry about; not immortals. But today, today was crawling at a snail's pace. I had waited for today longer than I could even fathom. I waited for it long before I knew it was what I wanted above all else. I was getting married in minutes, but it felt like I still had a lifetime to go before I laid eyes on my Bella. Most grooms got a case of the nerves before their weddings but I was just excited. It took everything I had just to remain somewhat still and keep up my human facade. I felt like bouncing around the room like Alice on one of her emotional highs. Next thing you know I'll be screeching and clapping my hands together. My brothers would never let me live that down.

Rather than stand like a statue at the makeshift altar in front of the fireplace, I went to the front door with Jasper and Emmett to greet the arriving guests. Jasper smirked at me. _A little excited, are we, brother dear? Your emotions are out of control. You're like Alice during fashion week. _I laughed and butted him with my shoulder.

"Dude, are you pregnant? You're practically glowing right now!" Emmett boomed. This time he got the shoulder check, not that it moved him a fraction of an inch. I could hear titters coming from the white folding chairs where the Denali's and some of Charlie's work friends were already seated.

"Yes, Em, I am pregnant and I didn't want to tell you this here and now, but it's yours!" God, how long had it been since I had felt like joking with my brothers? It had to have been back when I was high on love but before all the trouble really started. Maybe that summer before Bella's 18th birthday. All had felt right with the world then. It felt right again.

Jasper snorted. "Uh oh, Emmett, you're going to be a baby daddy, get out your checkbook, child support isn't cheap!"

"Hey, how do we know it's mine? It could be anyone's! I demand a paternity test!"

"You wound me, you really do. What kind of person do you think I am? I don't sleep around!"

Emmett grinned. "Oh we know that, _Eddie_!" _Virgin vampire, who ever heard of such a thing? She's gonna make a man out of you tonight, brother!_

Before I could begin to retort, Rose walked by wearing a mint green silk dress that molded to her stunning body. The expression on her face did not remotely match her dress however. "Stop being such morons," she hissed.

I wasn't going to let her put a damper on my day. "Rosalie, you look quite lovely. Perhaps you could try smiling so the guests don't run away screaming." She glowered at me and huffed away.

Emmett sighed. "Tonight's going to be a lot of fun." He shook his head mournfully.

"Hey, maybe you can get her to put her aggression to good use later. Angry sex can be hot." Jasper kept his voice low but it wasn't low enough that Rose didn't hear it. Another low hiss emitted from the living room. "Or maybe not."

"She'll get over it, someday." _At least I hope so. _That was Emmett, ever the optimist. I put thoughts of Rosalie away as a car turned into the drive and out came the boys that had once been such torment for me. Mike Newton, Tyler Crowley and Eric Yorkie had arrived. Emmett's gleeful mood returned immediately.

"Newton! So glad you could make it, man!" He clapped his large hand down on Mike's much smaller shoulder. "Came to see the one that got away, huh?"

Mike just glowered at him for a minute before turning to me. "Congratulations, Edward. Thanks for inviting me." _I don't get it. I still can't figure out why she chose him over me. It has to be the money, but it's not like my families destitute. Why did a freak like Cullen get the girl I wanted?_

My shoulders tensed up at the word freak but I suppose he was right. Newton was surprisingly attuned to my otherness in a way that most of the students at Forks High were not. "It's nice to see you again, Mike. I'm sure Bella will be thrilled that you made it." Maybe thrilled was the wrong word but I had to toy with the boy one last time. "Eric, Tyler, it's good to see you as well. Thanks for coming." I shook hands and acted every bit the accommodating groom even though I still loathed these boys. Of course, if they hadn't wanted Bella so badly they might not have driven me to approach her that day in biology; the day all three of them asked her to the dance. I couldn't keep the grin from appearing as I remembered the frustration and anger that had come over her face as they all went after her one by one. It was me she said yes to, then and now. I would never stop appreciating that fact.

"Yorkie, Crowley, Newton, follow me! I'll get you an awesome seat so you can see Bella in all her bridal glory!" _Bella's fan club deserves a special spot from which they can look but not touch. _Emmett was in his element. _I hope one of them cries when she says I do. A hundred bucks on Newton. _I just shook my head, I wasn't betting on tears but I'd enjoy their reactions all the same. Tyler and Eric didn't bother me that much; their crushes had mostly faded over time; but not Newton's. He still thought he had a chance. Delusional little human.

"I'll take that. I've got Yorkie; he's feeling a little emotional." Jasper kept his voice low enough that the humans wouldn't hear.

"That's cheating!" Emmett shouted, causing all three boys to jump and look around confused.

Mike's blue eyes got wide and he asked, "What? Who's cheating?" _Please say Bella, please say Bella._

I glowered at him and he shrank back about a foot. It wouldn't do to knock one of the guests through the wall on my wedding day, but damn if I wasn't tempted to do it anyway.

"Oh just a little bet we made over which one of us could dance with the most lovely ladies at the reception tonight," Jasper lied smoothly. "Edward was going to play but as groom that would be cheating, since most of the women here will expect a turn with him." Ugh, I hadn't thought about that. I was not going to dance with Jessica Stanley, tradition or not.

Mike's face lit up. _I'll get to dance with Bella! _Like hell he would. A growl welled up in my throat but Jasper grabbed my arm before I could let it out. "Emmett, take the guys to their special seats now." His tone indicated there should be no arguing. Em glanced at my face and nodded.

"Let's go, gentleman, I'll introduce you to our lovely cousins. I think you'll find them quite_ interesting." _Tanya and Kate would eat them alive. Maybe I could get them to keep Newton occupied and away from my wife.

"You need to calm down, man. I know you hate the guy but let it go. You got the girl."

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. "I know, Jas, it's just his thoughts of Bella. They've always driven me crazy."

"You got Bella, Edward; she's not upstairs getting ready to marry one of them." Yes, that was true. Bella was mine just as I was hers. She was about to become my wife. Just those words alone were enough to bring back my joy. I smiled up and Jasper and nodded.

We greeted the few remaining guests that were straggling in. Mr. & Mrs Newton; Bella's former employers, Dr. Gerandy and a couple of Charlie's deputies, then it was time to take my place at the altar next to Reverend Weber. I offered Esme my arm and escorted her to the seat in front for the mother of the groom. She reached up and smoothed my shirt collar. "I'm so happy for you, Edward. We're all going to be complete now." I smiled at her words because they couldn't be truer.

"Thank you, Esme; for all the love and support you've given me over the years. I know I didn't always make it easy for you to stand by me but you did anyway. You're the best mother in the world." Her eyes sparkled with emotion. She hugged me and I kissed her softly on the cheek.

My brothers and Carlisle went upstairs to escort the girls down while Rosalie took her place behind the piano. Esme and Alice had convinced her to contribute at least that to the wedding, since I could hardly play and get married as well. I took my place, facing the hallway, waiting to see the love of my life descend the stairs. I was immediately assaulted by all the thoughts in the room; now that I wasn't focusing on my brothers and guest greeting.

_Isn't he handsome? They're awfully young to be getting married but I suppose she didn't want to let the girls in college get a look at him. Maybe she's knocked up and this is a shotgun wedding! _Catty, irritating thoughts that made me want to shout at all the guests to get the hell out and leave me and Bella to marry in peace. It's a good thing she wasn't a mind reader or she'd call the whole thing off. It was just as she'd feared.

Of course not all the thoughts were snotty and I tried to focus more on those. _The flowers are truly lovely, draped across the mantle and along the chairs. It's an interesting combination, lavender and freesia. I wonder who thought of that. _My smile became genuine again when I heard that one. Freesia and lavender, my Bella's scent. _ I've seen them together at the hospital; they may be young but I've never seen two people more in love. _My mood got even brighter at those thoughts.

_Damn, Edward, you look hot. Sure you don't want to sneak in a quickie before the ceremony? I'm sure Bella would appreciate you having some experience. _I shot a look at Tanya and shook my head. _Can't blame a girl for trying! _She gave me a bright grin. Even though there was a hint of seriousness there I didn't take it personally, it was just pure Tanya. _Maybe I'll play with the little humans that Emmett introduced me to. That Tyler is pretty cute. _I grinned over at her. One down and if Kate would take Newton off my hands all would be well. I'd talk to her about it the first chance I got.

_Edward, we're ready! _Alice's voice took my mind away from the guests and back where it belonged, to Bella. I nodded at Rosalie and she began to play _Canon in D _by Pachelbel. I watched as Emmett and Jessica made their way down the stairs. She was wearing a pretty peach gown and her frizzy hair had been somewhat tamed in a French braid. Em was grinning ear to ear as they made their way down the aisle toward me.

_Oh, Edward is so gorgeous! Why couldn't he be marrying me? Why Bella? She's not special! _Suddenly Jessica's mind was filled with images of her in a billowy white dress walking towards me. Ugh. I fought the urge to roll my eyes as her thoughts went straight to the I do's and first kisses. Jessica Cullen, I do not think so.

_Ha, she is totally hot for you bro, she's practically panting on my arm. _Emmett was at least enjoying Jessica's reaction to me. They made it to the altar and Em released her, giving me a friendly punch on the shoulder as he took his spot.

Jasper and Angela appeared at the foot of the stairs next. She matched Angela in a peach gown and I noticed that Jasper also had a peach handkerchief in his pocket. Alice must have orchestrated that, it wasn't there before.

_It's so pretty; I love the flowers dangling from the ceiling. Edward looks handsome. Bella's so lucky. I'm so happy for her. _Oh to be lost in the thoughts of Angela Weber. She was the loveliest of people and I was glad that Bella actually had a good friend like her. _There's my girl, she's beautiful. Someday we'll have a wedding just like this. _Ben Cheney's thoughts entered my head and I felt grateful that Angela had a guy that loved her like he did. She deserved it and I was glad I could play a small part in helping to get them together.

I had wanted to pay her back for her kindness to Bella but she was such a content person that I couldn't find anything in her thoughts that she wanted. Until one day I saw her with Ben and I saw how much she wanted him and how much he wanted her. But they were both so afraid of acting on it that they had to be nudged along. I smiled as I remembered our little show in Spanish class. Emmett and I pretended like I was going to ask Angela to prom but I said I'd heard she liked some kid named Cheney, acting like I didn't know who Cheney was and that he was sitting right behind me. Ben had decided to go after what he wanted; to protect her from me. If he only knew!

Jasper and Angela reached the altar and split up. Jasper nodded at me and stood next to Emmett. _Wait til you see her, Edward, she's never been more beautiful. _Soon. I would see her in a minute or so and I couldn't wait. I had managed to keep from seeing her through the minds of my brothers and Alice thus far and I was going to hold out until I saw the real thing.

Carlisle and Alice appeared at the top of the stairs next. She was vibrating from her excitement, I could see it from down below. Carlisle tightened his grip on her arm in order to keep her from bouncing down the stairs. _Oh Edward! I can't wait! Wait until you see her! She's stunning. You are going to faint! _ She did bounce up and down a little bit, although human eyes probably didn't notice. I could see in Alice's mind that she wanted to twirl down the aisle but she reined it in and walked serenely. Well, as serenely as Alice could walk. They reached me and Alice leaned forward and kissed my cheek. _I love you, Edward. Thank you for bringing Bella into our lives and giving me a new sister and best friend. _Carlisle just smiled at her indulgently and reached over and hugged me. _Congratulations, son. The fact that you've found your happiness thrills me to no end. _

At last everyone was in place and the moment I'd been waiting for was here. Rosalie transitioned to Wagner's _Bridal March _and everyone rose to their feet. My entire focus was on the top of the stairs as Charlie and Bella began to descend. He was partially blocking my view and I had to fight the urge to run down the aisle so I could completely take her in. They walked slowly down the stairs, no doubt my Bella feared that she would fall so they were going to go extra slowly and I was going to go mad waiting to see her fully. I could see her dress was simple, a column of white flowing down her body. Her hair was pulled back but some curls escaped to frame her face. Her face, I wanted to see her face. Finally they reached the foot of the stairs and turned toward me.

In that moment, I was struck deaf and dumb. My mind, always so busy with everyone else's thoughts as well as my own, was completely silent. My heightened senses, always aware of everything around me, narrowed in until there was only her. My Bella. I could see nothing else, I could feel nothing else. Her chocolate eyes locked with mine and the nerves I saw washed away. Her sweet smile lit up her face and I felt mine respond in kind.

All my life I had had words. I knew multiple languages. I had written countless papers. I had degrees in literature. You would think that I'd be able to find the words to describe just how beautiful Bella looked as she walked down the aisle toward me but words failed me. Stunning. Exquisite. Gorgeous. All of them fit but none of them were enough. It was a good thing I didn't need to breathe because she had taken my breath away. Her dress was like something the Greek goddesses would have worn as they lounged around Olympus drinking wine and laughing at human frailty. Her face was luminous with her happiness; her cheeks colored with her natural blush. My fingers itched to reach out and follow that blush down to her neck.

After an interminable amount of time, she was there, next to me and I couldn't stop myself from reaching for her. Charlie managed to momentarily break into my consciousness by clearing his throat and answering some comment that Reverend Weber had made. Oh, yes, it was the "who gives this woman" question. "Her mother & I do." He leaned over and kissed Bella on the cheek before placing her hand in mine. At last, I was touching her. At last, we were one. My life never felt more right than when she was next to me, when I could feel the warmth of her touch.

Some part of my mind registered that Reverend Weber was talking about love but his words were just buzzing in the background as I remained lost in Bella. Her eyes burned into mine and she was all that mattered in the world. I was grateful that Alice had insisted on hiring on a videographer to film everything because someday I would probably want to know what the Reverend said and see everyone's reaction to Bella's astonishing beauty. Some thoughts were beginning to seep back into my consciousness but when I heard Newton bemoaning how gorgeous she was and how she should be with him, I squelched them back. No thoughts should interrupt me from enjoying the beauty by my side. I could happily drown in the joy I saw in Bella's depthless eyes.

Carlisle nudged me and it took everything I had to turn my eyes away from her for a moment. "Vows," he whispered, handing me the gold band that I would be sliding on Bella's finger, making her mine forever. I'd had the word_ Eternal _engraved in both of our rings, along with our names. I lifted her tiny left hand in my right one and looked back at her lovely face.

"Bella, I love you more than words can say. Before you came into my life, I was a shell of a person, just going through the motions. I lived every day the same as the one before it; everything was a boring routine. One look at you, one moment with you and everything changed. Chaos entered, but it was a beautiful chaos. You brought light into my life. You became my life and you will always be my life. I will love you forever." I slid the ring on her finger and watched as tears finally spilled down her face. I reached up and wiped them away with my left hand as my right still held her left hand, tracing that golden circle on her little finger.

Bella reached up and took my hand from her face and held it her own. "Edward, from the second I saw you I was drawn to you. Your beauty captured my imagination from the start, but your mind and your heart made me fall in love with you. You have always been the only man for me and you always will be. I am yours as you are mine; eternally." Her voice rang clearly throughout the living room as she slid the ring on my finger.

I didn't look away from her face when Reverend Weber when he pronounced us man and wife, the words echoing in my head over and over as I leaned forward to kiss her. Bella stood on her toes and threw her arms around me and pressed her warm lips to my cold ones with all the unrestrained passion that she had for me. I didn't think of trying to rein her in, I met her passion with my own and the entire room disappeared. We melted into one another as I showed her with my lips that she was my everything.

I have no idea how long we kissed but I know we didn't surface until Emmett squeezed my arm to the point of nearly breaking it. I had to bite back the urge to round on him when I realized that we were in a room full of people who were all clapping as we were officially announced as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. Bella's face flushed and it was clear she'd forgotten we had an audience as well.

"My turn to kiss the bride," Emmett shouted as he scooped Bella up and planted a loud kiss on her cheek. "Welcome to the family, little sis!"

Jasper reached over and squeezed Bella's hand and gave her a gentle smile before edging away; being around her still made him a bit uncomfortable. "You are definitely worth it." Bella beamed at him as she remembered him telling her that when they were on the run from James.

Alice shoved her way through my brothers and launched herself into Bella's arms. "You're truly my sister now! I knew you would be, from the first moment!" Bella laughed and hugged Alice back.

"I probably wouldn't be, without your help, which I am so grateful for."

I laughed and wrapped both my arms around Bella's waist and drew her against me. "Don't encourage her, love, she'll get delusions of grandeur and decide to start a matchmaking business."

Alice smacked my arm. "Hey, I could totally do that; matchmaking and wedding planning and designing dresses. A one-stop shop!"

"You're right, Alice, you could." I wasn't going to argue the point; the proof was all around us today. I noticed that Emmett was staring down the aisle and gesturing someone forward. I watched as Rosalie made her way down the aisle and took his hand. _Please, Rosie, please; she's family now._

Rose turned to Bella & I and softly said, "Congratulations. I'm glad you found your happiness." She didn't offer either of us her hand or a hug but it was more than we'd gotten from her up to this point.

"Thanks, Rosalie." Bella's voice was just as soft but rife with emotions.

I glanced around and took in all eight of us clustered together, a completed circle. Before I could think to vocalize what this moment meant, Emmett interrupted. "Party time!" He bounded out the back door and headed toward the reception. Guests had already started to make their way out there, sipping from champagne glasses and nibbling on some cheese.

Before Bella and I could begin to make our way outside we were stopped by Charlie and Renee. Renee had tears streaming down her face and she threw her arms around Bella. "Oh baby, you're such a beautiful bride. I'm so happy for you!"

Charlie gave me a look that plainly said _women_ and reached a hand out toward me. He hadn't shaken my hand since the day we first met. "Congratulations, Edward. You better take care of my girl. I have a shotgun, you know?" His words were tempered by the gruff emotion in his voice.

"Taking care of Bella is going to be my life's work." Sincerity rang in my tone and I didn't even have to fake it. Bella's well being and happiness was my number one priority until the end of time.

Bella pulled back from her mom and rolled her eyes. "Dad, don't encourage him, he's overprotective enough as it is." She wrapped her arms around him in one of their rare outward moments of affection.

"He can't be too overprotective when it comes to taking care of you, Bells. You're the most precious thing in my world." He cast a glance at me. "And clearly you're the most precious in his world." Well how about that, Charlie approved of something about me anyway!

I looked at Bella and started to get lost in her again. "She is." The blush spread over her cheeks again and I reached out with my left hand and ran it lightly across her cheekbone. I was nearly as fascinated by the ring glinting on my finger as I was her beautiful face.

Alice broke up the moment. "Alone time soon enough, lover boy. You guys have guests to mingle with, especially you, Bella!" I bit back a moan of frustration. Would I ever get a moment alone with my wife? Alice shot me a withering glance. "You'll have plenty of alone time soon enough, Edward." From the tone of her voice I could tell what alone time she was referring to. I wasn't ready to think about that, though. I wanted to enjoy my wedding before I faced the wedding night.

For the next hour Bella and I went from guest to guest thanking them for coming to our wedding and being social. Twilight fell while we were talking and the yard was illuminated by hundreds of white Christmas lights. I longed to pull Bella into my arms and dance with her under the light but our social obligations were not yet done.

I tensed as Mike Newton raced up to us, finally unable to stay away from Bella any longer. Jasper had asked Kate to help distract him which she'd managed to do for awhile but he was determined to get near Bella. She shrugged at me from across the lawn. I sent her a resigned smile.

"Bella!" He threw his arms around her and I bit back a ferocious growl. Bella's body went rigid beneath his arms and she didn't attempt to return his hug. "It's so good to see you; I've missed you since school got out." _Oh God, she's so hot. Feel those luscious breasts pressed against me! What I wouldn't give to take her behind that tent and… _I was so done with this. Before I could raise my hand further than a few inches Alice ran up and tugged Mike away from Bella.

"Sorry Mike, I need to borrow the newlyweds for some pictures!" _Damn, where did she come from? I was just starting to get hard and…_Alice grabbed me and Bella and dragged us to the other side of the lawn.

"Let me go, Alice." I had to go and kill him. I could drag him into the woods and be done in less than ten seconds. Nobody would ever know and his body would never turn up. I'd see to it.

"Oh no, Edward, you're not ruining all I've done by committing murder on your wedding day." Bella looked at me aghast.

"What?"

"I wasn't really going to kill him." I shot Alice a look. "I just thought about how nice it would be to do so. You don't know the vile things he was thinking!"

Bella sighed. "It doesn't matter what he was thinking of doing, he'd never do any of it. Mike's afraid of you, Edward. You can't kill someone for their thoughts." I could, I had and I wanted to again. But I wouldn't; I wouldn't do that to her.

"You're right, love. I'm sorry, I just don't want anyone to think of you that way." Anyone but me, that is.

She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair. "Edward, people think that way about you all the time. I don't go around trying to kill them all, even though I sometimes wish I could. I may not be able to read minds but I see how women look at you." She had a point.

"Okay, no more murderous thoughts of Newton. I'd much rather…"

"Edward, there you are!" This time it was Bella's turn to tense up. She turned at the sound of the melodious voice and took in Tanya for the first time. "And Bella! I've been dying to meet the girl that finally made an honest man out of our Edward." Bella's eyes narrowed at the word "our." It was really the cutest thing, watching her get angry. I couldn't get enough of it.

"It's very nice to meet you, Tanya. I know you've known _my_ husband for a long time. I guess we're all family now."

_Hmmm a little bit of fight in this one, huh Edward? Don't worry; I won't start anything with her on your wedding day. _"Yes, welcome to our family. I look forward to seeing how you assimilate."

Bella's grip tightened on my hand. "I'm sure I'll fit in just fine, I already do, as you can clearly see." As if to emphasize her point, Emmett ran up and scooped Bella into his arms.

"Come on, little sis, they're serving the chow and you need to eat. Give yourself some fuel for later." He winked at me and carried her off toward the food tent, her blush still visible in the dark.

I turned to Tanya. "You can't toy with my wife like that."

"Oh come on, Edward, I was just having a little fun. You should thank me, I got her worked up, and she'll probably take that out on you later."

"Tanya, she's my wife. What she and I do later is no concern of yours." I walked away from her and joined my Bella at the table. She sat in front of plate piled high with food. "You're taking that fuel comment pretty seriously, aren't you?"

She giggled. "Emmett filled my plate. I think he thinks you have to put as much as you can on the plate. I don't even know how to remove anything without sending an avalanche of food all over the table."

I laughed. "Well he got enough for us to share, at least. Saves me from having to get a plate of my own and pretend." She stabbed her fork into some roast beef and sent some cherry tomatoes rolling down her plate from the other side. I caught them before they could fall in her lap.

"Watch the dress!" Alice ran up with a much more reasonably filled plate and put it in front of Bella. "What was Emmett thinking giving you that much food? Like you could eat all that! Like it's not a recipe for disaster, a huge pile of messy food!" She whisked the plate away and sat next to Bella, watching her like a hawk to make sure no food landed on the pristine white dress.

"Edward," Bella said after she'd chewed thoughtfully on a bite of roast beef. "Um, do you swear nothing ever happened with you and Tanya? She's rather possessive of you." I heard a hint of pain laced in her tone.

I reached over and took her hand, turning her wedding band in my fingers. "Bella, I swear, nothing ever happened between us. She always wanted it to but I was always waiting for the right person for me. That person is you." She smiled, feeling more reassured by my words. "Who's jealous now?" I couldn't resist asking, after her giving me crap for getting mad at Newton.

She smiled serenely as she cut up some more meat. "But I wasn't thinking about killing her."

I laughed. "Well, you couldn't, could you?"

"Good point," she conceded. "I might have wanted to if I could hear her thoughts though. What was she thinking?" I hesitated. "Never mind, I don't want to know." Not that those particular thoughts had been that bad, but some of her earlier ones would have set Bella off.

She pushed her plate away. "Are you done eating, love?"

"Yes, I'm stuffed! I couldn't eat another bite."

"Good, because I'm ready to dance with my wife." I swept her back out of the tent and into the yard. The cloud cover had cleared out and the moon and stars illuminated the yard along with the Christmas lights. Bella wrapped her arms around my neck and I put mine around her waist and pulled her against me. Finally we were alone. Well as alone as you can get with forty or so guests in a tent a hundred feet away. She rested her head on my shoulder and we swayed to "At Last." I couldn't think of a more perfect song to reflect my life now that Bella was with me.

"I really haven't had the chance to tell you how absolutely beautiful you are tonight. You took my breath away." She laughed at that and tilted her eyes up to my face. "Alright, well you know what I mean."

"I do. You're pretty darn beautiful tonight yourself, Mr. Cullen."

"Why thank you, Mrs. Cullen. I had to get dressed up so I would look good next to my wife."

She lifted her head from my shoulder and pressed her lips to mine. My arms tightened around her as I pressed her even closer to my body. She pulled back and her voice was somehow huskier. "You always look good. It can be intimidating, how gorgeous you are."

I shook my head. "Your beauty outshines everyone here tonight. Someday you'll see yourself clearly." I swear it, some day she'll know just how wonderful she is. She pulled my lips back down to hers and any follow up arguments I was going to make faded away. I was about to suggest we find a way to ditch our own wedding reception when a throat cleared behind me.

"Don't even think about it, Edward. She has to dance with her father, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper and probably every other guy here. Then she has to eat the cake, throw her bouquet and _change her clothes _and then you can all say your goodbyes." I could tell that the changing of her clothes was foremost of importance in Alice's mind.

"You really are turning into quite the buzz kill tonight, you know that?" I couldn't hide my irritation. I just wanted to be alone with my wife.

Alice's eyes narrowed at me. "The faster we get to the other activities, the faster you can get out of here. But by all means, you two keep dancing and we'll just wait a couple more hours."

Bella sighed. "Alright, Alice, bring on the dance partners." She turned to me with a glint in her eye. "Don't worry, it won't take long, I'll no doubt cripple just about every guy here. You'll have me back in your arms before you know it." I laughed.

"Well, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle will be immune, at least!"

She smiled as she spotted her father standing hesitantly near the dancing area. I smiled as she walked over and gestured nervously toward the floor. Charlie pulled her into his arms and they swayed awkwardly but adorably. I strolled over to where Esme was standing with Carlisle. "I believe it's customary for the groom to dance with his mother. May I have the honor of this dance?" I swept down in a formal bow and Esme smiled prettily and dipped into a curtsy.

"You may." I led her out to the dance floor and twirled her in time to the music. She reached up and put both hands on my face. "Edward, I'm so glad you found Bella and that you had the strength to bring her into this family. I know it wasn't easy for you but I know it was the best thing you ever could have done for yourself and for us."

"I almost didn't have the strength and it would have cost us all. When I think of my time apart from her…"

"No, son, you can't regret that any longer. What you did then has brought you to where you are now. We're all where we should be, finally everything fits." She smiled in satisfaction. Alice came up and claimed the next dance and I was forced to watch as Bella took turns dancing with Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper. I hit the floor with Kate, Renee, Carmen and Angela. I saw Tyler and Tanya wrapped around each other song after song. She caught me looking. _It's been awhile since I had any fun, why not see if I can teach this boy how to be a man?_ I just rolled my eyes and sent Alice on another spin.

Movement to the right showed Mike Newton attempting to secure a dance with Bella. She frowned and glanced at me but shrugged and let him dance with her, angling her body so far away from him that it was almost laughable how awkward they looked. Well it would have been laughable were it not for all his sexual fantasies that immediately slammed into my mind. Rather than make a huge scene I went up to Jessica and asked her to dance. My mind was quickly assaulted with her sexual thoughts of me. Why did she and Newton ever break up, they clearly belonged together? I maneuvered her over to where Mike was attempting to get closer to Bella and skillfully switched partners. "I need to hold my wife; it's been at least thirty minutes since we last danced. You understand, don't you?" I didn't give them a chance to answer before whirling her away.

"Thank you," she sighed and melted back into me.

"Nothing to thank me for, love, I'm doing the world a service pushing those two back together. They don't need to be unleashed upon an unsuspecting public." She giggled as I spun her out and back to me.

"Have we danced enough yet? Can we get out of here?"

She smiled. "I think you better run that one by the Wedding Nazi. She only has a little time left in her reign of terror so we better humor her."

"I heard that!" There she was, back at my side again ready to interrupt. "Fortunately for you, it's cake cutting time, then you can throw your bouquet and then you can get out of my hair for the night." I grinned with relief.

We tromped inside and cut into the beautiful triple-tiered wedding cake. I gently fed Bella her piece while she made sure to rub the cake all over mine, thus making sure I didn't actually have to swallow any. I winked at her thankfully and wiped the mess off my face. "Good plan, love."

She smiled. "I know!"

"Time for the garter removal!" Alice shrieked. Bella went crimson immediately as she was pushed into a chair by Alice. Some raunchy stripperesque song blared from the DJ as I got on my knees before her. Emmett and Jasper were shaking with laughter as I leaned forward and started to slowly reach up her leg.

"No hands, bro, you have to use your teeth!" Emmett shouted. I'm surprised he could get the words out he was laughing so hard. Bella got impossibly redder and the crowd started laughing. I quickly stuck my head underneath the front of her dress and saw to my relief that the garter was just above her knee. I carefully took it between my lips and pulled it down as quickly as I could. I wasn't going to linger too close to my wife's beautiful legs; my mind would wander to a place it shouldn't go until about an hour from now.

I emerged from under her dress and pulled the garter over her shoe. "Now you have to fling it! All single guys line up!" When did Emmett become the king of weddings? I glanced at the males lined up and shot the garter right into Mike Newton's face. I won't deny that I might have put some force into the shot and it left a red mark on his cheek where it hit him. I grinned cheekily at him.

Alice then lined up the women and Bella tossed her bouquet over her head. Being Bella it wasn't the most graceful of throws and the bouquet ended up falling about 5 feet short of any waiting female. It landed closest to Angela though so the consensus was that she caught it.

Alice swept Bella into the house to change out of her wedding dress. I waited anxiously for my bride to reappear. Nerves were starting to replace my earlier excitement but happiness still was the most overwhelming emotion. Jasper came and stood next to me. "You ready for this?"

"I'm as ready as I'm ever going to be."

He shook his head. "You know it's going to be fine. If Alice says it is, then it is. She wouldn't let any harm come to Bella. She loves her nearly as much as you do."

"I know. I'm not as scared of hurting her as I used to be, I'm more scared of not pleasing her."

Jasper laughed. "You would please Bella if you read her the phone book, man. She loves you. I've never felt such strong emotions from a human before, it's like she's already one of us, at least when it comes to feeling love." That was reassuring. "Just let your love for her guide you. It sounds cheesy but it's true. You'll learn the rest over time."

I nodded. Anything else I was going to say died on my lips as Bella reappeared on the back porch. She was dressed in a navy blue sweater dress that clung to her curves. Her hair fell loosely now, relieved of all the pins that had held it back from her face. She looked just as beautiful as she had before, maybe more so. Nerves and excitement were showing in her eyes as she walked up and wrapped her arms around me.

"Ready to go, love?" She nodded and we turned to say goodbye to our family and friends.

"Thank you all for coming! Your love and support means everything to us. We'll see you soon!" And with that I led her to the Volvo, tucking her into her seat and getting behind the wheel to take us to the place where it all began. I could think of no better place to consummate our love than the place where all our barriers came down and all truths were laid bare. We sped off into the night, lost in our thoughts and mutual anticipation.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Alright, here it is; the chapter that scared me beyond all chapters, the wedding night! Yeah, it's my first lemon so I hope you guys like it. My fear of writing it lead me to write my favorite thing that I've written to date, see if you can pick out what that is and guess in your comments.**

Chapter 15

EPOV

Our car ride was brief but it felt endless; the oppressive silence weighing heavily in the car as we both thought about what the next few hours would bring. I still felt incredibly happy but that was tinged with nervousness over the unknown. I drummed my left hand on the steering wheel, my fingers playing the tune that was rolling through my head. Eerily enough that tune sounded rather similar to the _Jaws _theme. I decided I better quash that immediately; I felt enough like a predator without having the ultimate predator's theme music running through my head. I reached over with my right hand and entwined my fingers with Bella's. Just that touch was enough to calm both of us, her shoulders visibly relaxing and the irritating music went away.

Bella turned her head toward me; her eyes were alight with secrets and curiosity. "Are you going to tell me where we're going on our honeymoon now?" Her soft voice relaxed me even more and I answered her with a grin.

"No, you'll find that out tomorrow. I will tell you where we're going tonight though."

Her forehead wrinkled with confusion. "You mean we're not heading to the airport now?"

"No. I didn't think either one of us really wanted to spend our wedding night on a cramped airplane."

"Well, where are we going then?"

I kept my eyes upon her to see her reaction. "To the meadow. " A smile brightened her face. "I thought we should spend the night someplace special."

Her little hand squeezed mine. "Oh Edward, that's perfect."

I pulled the Volvo into a clearing. "I'm glad you think so, love. This is as far as we can go by car." I got out and went around to her side, taking her hand and pulling her gently from the seat. "I'd love to carry you bridal style the whole way there but I think we'd get their faster, and safer, if we ran our usual way."

She giggled. "I don't think the meadow has a threshold anyway, so I think it's okay if you carry me on your back." She got behind me and I hoisted her onto my back, her little arms wrapped tightly around my neck and her legs clasped around my waist. I was very aware of the feel of her breasts pressed against me and the heat radiating from between her legs. If I was reacting to her this strongly already I shuddered to think what seeing her naked and touching her was going to do to me. I heaved a deep breath and took off through the forest. Trees flashed by in a blur and I could vaguely hear rustling of nearby animals scurrying away, terrified by my presence. All of that was background as I focused on the woman pressed against me; her scent and warmth enveloped me. We neared the meadow and I slowed my steps to a human pace. I reached behind me and pulled Bella into my arms.

"Threshold or no, we're going to do this right." Bella closed her eyes and rested her head on my shoulder and I buried my nose into her silky hair. The familiar scent of strawberries washed over me. If I were human, they would surely be my favorite food.

"Are you tired, love?" A part of me hoped she was, that she needed to sleep and we could put this off for another day. Days maybe. Another stronger part of me prayed she'd say no. It had been so long and I wanted her so badly. I was as ready to try as I was ever going to be.

Bella's eyes flashed open. "Oh no, I'm not tired. I'm just enjoying the moment. I am finally alone with my husband, after all."

I cupped her cheek in my right palm. "I know what you mean; this was the longest day ever. I never thought Alice was going to let us escape."

Bella's laugh tinkled out and filled me with warmth. "Be careful what you say. She knows where we are and she could come interrupt us out of spite."

"No, she loves me too much to do that. Or more accurately, she loves you too much to do that." We reached the clearing and I paused. I hoped she would approve of what I had done here. White lights, just like those that had decorated the back yard were strung from all the trees surrounding the meadow. A red down blanket with two fluffy pillows sat directly in the center, a portable stereo and picnic basket lying next to it. I gently placed Bella next to the blanket and she slowly turned a circle taking in the full effect. The meadow was aglow in the gentle white light, the effect similar to candlelight but without the inherent danger of setting the grass on fire.

"Bella, is it okay?" She hadn't said a word yet and my nerves were getting the best of me. What if she hated it? Oh God, was I one of those cheesy guys in a red silk robe setting a seduction scene for the innocent girl? I was, wasn't I? I'm a pervert; a clichéd, unoriginal pervert.

My mental hysterics abruptly cut off when Bella launched herself into my arms. "Edward, it's so beautiful. It couldn't be more perfect." Good, she doesn't think I'm some perverted Don Juan. I sighed with relief. I took her hand and guided her onto the blanket, both of us facing each other.

"I brought you some champagne. I mean, I'm not trying to get you drunk or anything, I just figure you should have champagne on your wedding night. You know a toast; to celebrate. Not to get you drunk though. Just a sip or two." Dear God, I was babbling. Since when did I babble? I took out the bottle and managed to pour the still icy champagne into the flute without spilling any. I felt like I was shaking like a leaf but apparently my outer self appeared calm.

She took the glass from me and laughed gently. "Edward, this is lovely, thank you." She took a small sip and sat the glass next to us in the grass. She looked way calmer than I did. That or she was just amused enough at my lack of coherency that it was giving her confidence. She leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I longed to sink into it and just give myself over to her completely but I couldn't.

"Music!" I pulled back abruptly and hopped up to the stereo. I flipped it on and pressed play, starting the CD that I had recorded just for her. It was all piano music, some of our favorite songs.

Bella smiled at me indulgently and patted the spot beside her on the blanket. "Edward, come here, please." I approached her slowly, feeling like a lamb that was being led to slaughter. If Jasper or Emmett saw me now I'd never hear the end of it. Alice had seen me, though, and she'd probably tell them what an idiot I was being. Wait a minute. Alice saw me acting like an unsure teenager and she didn't tell me about it? She probably thought it was endearing seeing me so nervous. I was going to pay her back someday. I lowered myself back on the blanket and looked down, plucking at the feathers beneath the surface anxiously.

Bella took my left hand into both of hers. Déjà vu. I remembered the first time that she'd done that, here in this very spot. It was after I told her just how dangerous I was to her and she told me she didn't care. She loved me anyway. I remember being so amazed by her warmth, both physically and the warmth inside her. I was still constantly floored by the accepting, loving person she was. "Edward, we don't have to do this."

My eyes flew up to her face. She looked sad but resolute. "What?"

"We don't have to do this. I don't want you to feel like you have to make love to me just because of the deal we made when we got engaged. I want you to want to be with me, not to be with me because you have to."

I am a complete and total fool. I made her think I didn't want her by acting like a spastic jackass. I reached my hand out and brushed her hair back, looking into those hurt but trusting eyes. "No Bella, don't ever think for a second that I don't want you. I want you more than anything in this world." She shook her head and tried to turn away but I wasn't having that. I stilled her. "I'm sorry. I'm freaking out but it's not because I don't want you. It's because I do, so much, and I'm afraid I'm going to be a disappointment to you."

"How could you ever think that? I love you, Edward, you could never disappoint me. I just want to be close to you, as close as I can possibly get." I closed my eyes, knowing she meant what she was saying. I had to find my confidence again.

"I feel like a fumbling teenager around you. I've never felt like one before and it's such a foreign feeling. It's really making me angry at myself."

She laughed. "You may be a century old but you are still a teenager, Edward. It's nice to find something that you're not freakishly good at. Though for all we know, you probably will be anyway." I joined in her laughter. It was nice to feel her faith in me. The laughter faded from her eyes and she looked at me very seriously. "So far, you've done everything right. I know you don't think you have but you made our place even more beautiful and special than it usually is. You've made me feel calm, even though I don't know what I'm doing either. This, here, it doesn't matter how awkward it is because it's you and me. That makes it right." Her conviction in that fact rang through in her tone.

I stroked her cheek gently and watched her shiver in reaction. She was right and I was going to stop thinking and start feeling. I stood up and extended my hand to her. "Bella, will you dance with me?" Her eyes lit up and she slid her hand in mine and let me pull her up. She rested her cheek on my shoulder and we swayed in time to the music.

She sighed and snuggled further into my arms as I twirled us around the meadow. "Edward, can I ask you something?" Her words were muffled against my chest but I understood her anyway.

"Of course, love, you can ask me anything."

"What were you and my mother talking about while you were dancing? You had the strangest look on your face." The tension seeped back into me as I remembered what Renee had discussed with me.

"_So, Edward, are you ready for tonight? You better have a big condom supply because I am not ready to be a grandmother. I'm much too young and you and Bella have a lot of living yet to do before you worry about children." If I wasn't dead already, this discussion would probably have done me in._

"_Yes, Renee, we'll be safe." Please, let that be all._

_She narrowed her light blue eyes at me. "So what do you have planned?"_

"_What do you mean? Where am I taking her?"_

"_No, I mean how are you going to do it?"_

"_Do what?" She couldn't mean what I thought she meant, could she?_

"_I mean the sex! Are you going to do it in some cushy hotel? A hot tub? The shower? On the ground? What do you have planned?" This was not happening. My mother in law was not asking me how I was going to devirginize her daughter. That just was not possible._

"_Renee, I really don't think…"_

"_Oh don't you go getting shy on me now, Edward Cullen. You married my daughter partially because you wanted to make an honest woman of her, right?" _

"_Uhhh…" I was struck speechless. Renee was insane._

"_Sex is a big part of marriage, you know." I nodded. It was safer just to nod. Maybe the song would be over soon. Maybe somebody would cut in. Surely my family was hearing this, where were they to save me when I needed them?_

"_Alright, clearly you're not going to tell me how, so I'll leave that alone." I breathed a sigh of relief. "So instead we'll discuss how you're going to go about pleasing her." Clearly my sigh of relief was way premature._

"_Um, what?" Was I ever going to be able to say more than two words to her? No, probably not. Actually I don't think I could even look at her again after this conversation. Thank God she lived in Florida._

"_Look, Edward, you're both virgins, right?" I just stared at her and nodded. Why was I even responding? "Okay then, so neither one of you knows what they're doing." I just nodded again, it was easier that way. "I know my daughter and I know she's about as likely to have masturbated as I am to join a convent." Dying, that had to be what I was doing, I was dying again. "I bought her a vibrator when she turned sixteen but she left it in Phoenix when she moved, still in the package and clearly unused. I know Rosalie got her one but I'm certain she probably didn't use it last night." Wait, what? Rose got her a vibrator? I didn't know if I should be thankful or insulted._

"_So the fact remains that neither of you know how to get her off." I couldn't look at Renee anymore so I glanced around frantically at the guests. It was then that I noticed my family huddled together laughing hysterically. They knew exactly what I was going through and not one of them was coming to my rescue. Traitors, even Esme was laughing. I hissed at them but that just made them laugh harder._

"_Edward, are you listening?" Like I wouldn't have this conversation burned into my brain for all eternity? I nodded again, words were not coming anyway. "Well I'm going to assume you know the mechanics, you've had sex ed right?" I nodded mutely. This was a nightmare. "So you know what the clitoris is?" Oh my God. Emmett and Jasper were actually holding on to one another they were laughing so hard. I had to stop this now._

"_Look, Renee, just because I've never done it before doesn't mean I don't know how. I'm sure we'll be fine." Please let that be it. Why hasn't this song ended? _

"_Now, Edward, no need to get embarrassed. We're all adults here. Just take my advice and you'll have a very happy wife." She did know she was talking about her daughter, didn't she? Who does this? "Just remember, the clitoris is the key. Sex will hurt her the first time, so it's best to try to give her pleasure through the pain. You do that by moving your fingers on her clitoris while you're inside her. You've got nice long fingers, she'll appreciate them." Oh my God. What kind of mother in law is this?_

"_The clitoris is the key, the clitoris is the key, high ho the derry-o, the clitoris is the key." Emmett was a dead man; turning my torment into a children's song. He was actually skipping around Jasper singing it softly._

"_Oh and one more thing. It's best to give her pleasure before the sex itself. Oral sex is the best way to go about that. Use that tongue of yours for something besides drooling, and don't forget the fingers," She patted my cheek and walked off to rejoin her husband._

I shook myself out of that horror and looked down at my wife. "Are you sure you want to know?" You really, really don't.

She sighed. "Probably not, but maybe you could give me a brief summary."

"Um, well, she wanted to give me some advice on tonight."

Bella gasped and flushed. "She didn't."

"Oh yes, she really did. I don't think you honestly want to know any more than that."

She shook her head. "I love my mother but she honestly has no boundaries." Clearly, if she can discuss the clitoris with her son in law.

"She did bring up something that I wanted to ask you, though."

Bella looked at me warily. "What is that?"

"Well, she mentioned something about Rose giving you a vibrator?" I thought about bringing up the one Renee got her but I figured that would embarrass her more than Rose's gift.

Her blush got impossibly darker. "Uh, yes, that was her shower gift to me." Interesting. Intriguing. Exciting.

"Are you planning on using it?" I knew she hadn't used it last night, not in a house full of very awake vampires.

"I don't know. I hadn't thought about it." She was getting uncomfortable. I didn't want to do that to her, I just couldn't help imagining watching her pleasure herself.

"Okay." I wasn't going to push her.

"Why do you want to know?" Oh sweet, Bella, I want to know because I am a man. We always want to know things like that.

"Because, um, I think it would be sexy to see something like that?" It came out sounding like a question; I didn't want to offend her.

She looked taken aback. "Oh, well, maybe?" That was not a no! Thank God. I wasn't going to push it. I rested my cheek on her head and continued to move to the music. Holding her and talking to her had calmed my nerves somewhat.

I lost track of how long we danced but finally Bella pulled back from me and told me her feet were getting tired. I led her back to the blanket and sat her down, removing her shoes and gently rubbing her tiny feet. She moaned with pleasure and lay back, closing her eyes and letting her hair fan across one of the pillows. My body tightened in response to her moan and I felt myself hardening. My breath hitched. It was time. I brought her right foot up to my lips and placed a light kiss on her big toe. Her eyes flew open in reaction and she watched me, excitement starting to burn in those chocolate pools.

I kissed another toe and her heartbeat accelerated. I liked hearing her react to me. Perhaps she'd like it if I…oh yes, she does. I took her toes into my mouth very carefully and sucked gently. Bella gasped and started to wiggle. I dragged my mouth down her foot to her ankle bone, sucking on that as well. Goosebumps joined the gasping and wiggling. I smiled against her skin. It seemed I was doing something right. I traced my lips up her leg to her knee, running my tongue along her smooth skin. I licked behind her knee; women liked that from what I could tell in countless sexual fantasies I'd seen in my head. Bella liked it too. Her scent permeated the air, she was getting excited. I looked up and met the dark desire in her eyes. "Is this okay?" She nodded mutely. "Are you ready for more?" She nodded again.

I pulled the navy blue, clingy material up her legs and my lips followed it inch by inch. I reached her inner thigh and I was so close to the moist heat of her that I could almost taste it. I'm sure my face was warmer than it usually was, just from being close to her like this. I could feel the venom pooling in my mouth. I swallowed it down as I pressed a kiss just below her panties. Bella whimpered. I could feel her vibrating underneath me. The urge to taste her was strong but my need to see her was just as strong. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. Her lids were half open, heavy with her ardor.

I lifted her dress slowly, watching as each delicious inch revealed more of her creamy skin. It was my turn to gasp when I saw the lovely blue nightgown she was wearing underneath. My urge to slowly undress her went away and I removed the dress without any further preamble. The light blue silk clung to her curves, stopping mid thigh with a matching panty underneath. The top was lacy, showing a hint of her cleavage. Thin blue straps were all that held it in place. I had to fight the urge to rip them away so that I could see all of her. We had plenty of time and I wanted to savor this moment and her.

I made my way up to her lips, soft silk pressed to my unyielding stone. This meadow was the place where I had first tested myself with her and I was ready to do it again. I opened my mouth and slipped my tongue into hers. Her tongue met mine. I remained aware of where her tongue was at all times, afraid that my sharp teeth would cut her but it seemed that was another fruitless worry I'd had. I lowered myself against her, pressing her into the blanket, and continued with the slow wet kisses. I hated myself for depriving both of this for so long. It felt right.

Bella's hand slipped between us and began to undo my buttons. Her movements were sure and steady, very un-Bella-like. I smiled against her lips as she pushed my shirt off my shoulders, finally my skin was touching hers, only that thin barrier of silk and lace keeping me from feeling all of her. Her heat burned against me, fire meeting ice. It felt like steam should be coming off us everywhere we touched.

I dragged my lips away from hers, down her jaw and over to her sensitive ear. I sucked her lobe into my mouth, blowing my cold breath against her soft flesh. Bella moaned and actually thrust against me. I could feel the monster within start to wake. He didn't want her blood, he wanted her body. I wanted her body, but I couldn't let the animal in me take over. The desire to tear into her was strong but I beat it back. I pulled away from her ear and put my mouth against her neck, feeling that glorious pulse. That pulse that let me know my Bella was alive and well. I had to focus on that instead of how badly I wanted to take her. I felt myself calming as I slowly traced kisses along her neck, down across her collar bone.

I ran a finger along her shoulder to one of those pretty blue straps. I pushed it slowly along her shoulder, finally pushing it off and leaving it bare. I traced my tongue along the same path that strap had taken. Bella arched her back and pushed against my erection. I stifled a groan but the monster was leashed tight. I didn't feel that mad urge to possess right now. Some day in the not too distant future I could devour her and take her the way I wanted. For now I would worship her, show her how much I loved her. I lifted Bella from the blanket and sat her up, so I could remove her gown without ruining it. I slid that silk up and watched in fascination as her flat tummy appeared. Her beautiful breasts were next. Finally. I wanted to taste and touch those perfect mounds.

Before I got completely lost in her beautiful body, I focused closely on Bella's face. I had to make sure she wasn't frightened or upset. I'm sure I looked more like the monster than the man. I knew my eyes were black with my desire for her. The venom was filling my mouth more quickly with each glance at her nearly naked body. I saw no fear on her face though; I saw only longing and need. "Edward," her voice was incredibly husky.

"Yes, my love?" I'd give her anything she wanted. Her skin was glowing in the moonlight. For once our color was evenly matched. I lay her back on the blanket, her silky hair trailing over the pillow. She stared back at me with anticipation.

"Touch me." I shuddered with desire at those words.

"Like this?" I ran a cool finger over her stomach. Her muscles clenched below me, steel under her silky skin.

"More." That soft whisper moved me. I would deny her nothing. My hands moved up her stomach to her breasts. I bit back a groan as they fit perfectly in my hands. I squeezed them gently. Bella moaned so I squeezed again, a little harder this time.

"Tell me if I'm too rough."

"No, no, you're perfect." She was the perfect one, perfectly soft and smooth beneath my hands. I leaned down and kissed each peak. Bella shoved against me again so I took that as a sign that she wanted more. Gently I took her nipple into my mouth and sucked on it. Bella's hands flew to my hair and held me against her. I wanted badly to nibble on her but I knew I couldn't do that now. I gave equal attention to her other breast as Bella's tugs on my hair became more insistent.

My lips traced a path down her stomach. I drew a heart there with lips and tongue, breaking it only to slide my tongue into her perfect little belly button. The taste of her skin, here, in the places I'd never allowed myself to see or touch before, was even more delectable. I wanted to spend my entire existence lost in her.

My tongue reached the final barrier that remained between me and a completely naked Bella. I traced her hips along that line of silk. I looked up at her as my fingers curled under the waistband of her panties. Bella didn't flinch in the slightest as I pulled that scrap of silk down her legs. A slight blush stole across her skin as she lay bare to me but she didn't attempt to cover herself or move away. I cupped her cheek with my hand and she leaned into it, turning her face to the side and running her tongue over my palm. I gasped as she opened her mouth and sucked my thumb into it. The animal inside begged to be unleashed but I would not allow it.

"Where did you learn that?" I felt like my eyes were going to cross from the pleasure that hot little tongue was working against my thumb. Bella just shrugged and kept sucking. I swallowed another pool of venom and pulled my hand away from her. Bella whimpered at the loss but I needed to concentrate. I dragged my eyes away from her face and focused on that last uncovered area. There her dark curls were wet and glistening, her scent was calling to me.

I planted open mouthed kisses along her hip, stopping to suck on her pubic bone. I could smell Bella's ever increasing arousal, coupled with the little mewls she was emitting. My fingers traced a path from her knee up her thigh, pausing only to push her legs further apart. I ran my hand over those soft, springy curls, pressing my palm against her. Bella pushed herself against me and her wetness seeped into my hand. The urge to taste was overpowering.

"Edward, please." Her throaty moan went straight to my groin. I slicked my fingers down her center, coating them with her juices. I watched her face as I pushed my middle finger into her entrance. It was so tight that I couldn't fathom how I'd ever be able to fit inside her. I bit back a groan as the heat enveloped me. I moved my finger slowly in and out as Bella pushed against me. "More. Oh God, please, more." So I slid my pointer finger in as well and it felt impossibly tighter. My tongue still yearned to taste so I leaned forward and ran it over that bundle of nerves. Bella jumped against me and tightened her fists against the blanket. I bit back a laugh as I thought maybe Renee was right, the clitoris was the key. Someday I'd tell her.

Bella's taste was pure heaven. I didn't need pearly gates and angels with harps, my angel was right here and this was where I belonged. I moved my tongue over her, increasing the speed as I increased the thrust of my fingers. Bella was wiggling all over the blanket; I had to use my other hand to hold her still. She bucked against me and I pulled back and carefully tucked my lips over my teeth for her safety. Bella didn't care for that and she yanked my head closer, burying her fingers in my hair. It almost hurt. She got louder as she got closer to orgasm. I was dying to feel her go over the edge. I smiled to myself as I sucked her clit into my mouth. I couldn't use my teeth but my lips were hard enough. I pressed them roughly against her, almost as good as biting down. She screamed my name and her body started convulsing. She was so beautiful, lost in her pleasure. I kept my fingers and tongue moving as I watched her thrash on the blanket.

Seeing Bella like that, completely undone by me nearly drove me mad. I had to have her, now. Bella's body was still moving, little aftershocks of pleasure. I wanted to feel that. I quickly removed my pants and underwear, waiting for her to take them off was not an option. "Bella, sweetheart?" She opened her glazed eyes and tried to focus in on me. "Are you alright?" She flashed me what looked almost like a drunken smile and nodded. I chuckled in triumph. "See, you are intoxicated by me."

Bella giggled and pushed herself up. "That was…that was even better than I ever imagined."

Only Bella could make my dead heart beat again. Here I was raging to have her and she melted me with her words. "You're right, love. It was better than I could have hoped."

Her eyes traced over me and suddenly she took in the fact that I wasn't wearing any clothes. I bit back a smile as I saw her eyes widen at the sight of just how very excited I was for her in that moment. "Oh!" She bit down on her lip and I actually felt myself twitch. I watched as she tentatively reached out and took me in her small hand. I bit back a groan at her touch. Her eyes watched my face as she ran her hands over the length of me. I felt myself get even harder. How was that possible? I realized that I wasn't going to be able to let her touch me for long; I wouldn't be able to last.

"Bella, I love having you touch me but you can't right now." She looked hurt and I wanted to smack myself for upsetting her. "No, baby, you don't understand. I'm too excited and I want to be inside of you first." The smile quickly returned. She started to lie back down on the blanket but I stopped her. "Bella, for the first time, since we don't know for sure how I'll handle it, it would be better if we did it another way."

She frowned at me. "What way?" What, did she think I wanted to try some weird Kama Sutra thing? I mean, I did, but not for the first time.

"Love, I think it would be best if you were on top of me the first time, so that I don't hurt you."

She began to look a little nervous now. She bit that lip of hers again and I twitched some more. "But I don't know how."

I smiled gently at her, trying to ease her fears. "I don't know what I'm doing either and so far, so good right?"

She sighed. "You're good at everything, remember?"

I chuckled. "I am not, it's just instinct. I'll help you as best as I can, I promise."

She ran her eyes over me again and took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll try." I lay back and put my head on one of the pillows, watching intently to see what she'd do. Bella was adorable. She looked into my eyes and then looked down my body and then her eyes flew back to mine like she thought she was doing something wrong. I tried to smile reassuringly at her but I'm afraid it looked like a grimace.

She slowly moved toward me, crawling over the blanket on her knees. It was the hottest thing I'd ever seen this side of her being lost in her orgasm. I didn't know if I could hold off until I was inside her. Bella got up to me and threw her leg across my stomach, effectively straddling me. I felt her warm thighs pressed against me and I wanted nothing more than to thrust into her. I had to wait though, let her go at her own pace. She leaned over and pressed her breasts against my chest, pushing her lips to mine and sliding her tongue back into my mouth. I brought my hands up and fisted them in her hair, holding her to me and enjoying the feel of that warm little body pressed against me.

She trailed her lips down my jaw and neck, planting wet little kisses everywhere. I sucked in a breath when I felt her move further down my body. We were now aligned and all it would take would be one thrust and I'd be inside of her. She trailed her tongue over my chest now and I got lost in the sensation. Nothing had ever felt this good. Her eyes met mine as she reached down and grabbed me, moving me into position against her entrance. I watched, mesmerized, as she slowly lowered herself onto me.

I was on fire. Heat like I'd never known flowed through my body where it met hers. I was barely inside of her and it felt like I would explode. She slowly, torturously lowered herself even more. I felt myself hit the barrier, her innocence. I saw the flicker of pain on Bella's face but she didn't stop, pushing further and breaching that barrier. I smelled the blood but it was miniscule and it was nothing compared to the feeling of being inside of her. That held no interest to me, not over this. After what felt like hours I was fully inside of her.

I reached my hand up to her face and ran my fingers over her cheek and into her hair. "Are you okay, Bella?" I knew I had to be hurting her and it killed me.

She nodded. "I'm fine, just give me a minute." I caressed her hair now, while I could, because touching her would soon not be an option. I wasn't going to chance hurting her anymore than I already was. I watched as the remnants of pain left her face. She began to move again, slowly pushing her hips forward and back. I felt her tight little walls moving against me. I closed my eyes and fisted my hands in the blanket. I wanted to watch but all I could really do was feel. I wanted to put my hands on her hips and help guide her but fear of injuring her kept me from doing so.

Suddenly, unbidden, Emmett's voice popped into my head singing "The clitoris is the key, the clitoris is the key." Dammit. I would never escape that but maybe that was a good thing right now. I opened my eyes again and looked at Bella. She looked gorgeous in the moonlight, her hair falling across her breasts, her lip back between her teeth. I bit back the urge to lean up and bite that lip myself. It was tantalizing. I released my grip from the blanket and slowly brought it up to where we were joined. God that was beautiful. We were connected. I pushed my finger between her lips and ran it back over her clit.

Bella gasped and began moving faster. I moved my finger in time with her thrusts and soon we found a rhythm. It wasn't going to take long for me at this rate so I increased my speed. Bella moaned and moved her hips faster. I felt the burn that had been in my body since I entered her boiling inside of me. I lost all sense of time and reason as I felt Bella begin to tighten around me. I moved my hand away from her and buried it back in the blanket as my orgasm overcame me. I buried my face into the nearest pillow and bit down as I released inside of Bella.

I don't know how long I laid there with my face buried in a pillow and Bella's warm body panting against me but eventually I focused in again. She was my main priority so I saw up and pushed her back. She opened her eyes and smiled radiantly at me. There wasn't a mark on her, thank God. "You're okay?"

"Better than okay." Well that was good to know. I took inventory around me and noticed that I'd shredded the blanket, there were giant rips running on both sides of me. Everything else seemed to be intact though, other than the pillow. I couldn't stop the triumphant smile from creeping over my face.

I ran my hands through Bella's hair and kissed her gently. "I love you, Mrs. Cullen. "

She smiled sweetly. "I love you too. Thank you for the best night of my life."

"Thank you for being my life." I wrapped the shredded blanket around us and settled back to hold my wife as she slept. This was heaven. This was everything.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: This chapter is a little different, Bella's writing in the journal Edward gave her to catalog her memories before the change. It was my way out of getting out of describing the honeymoon in every detail, since I've never been to the city I selected as their destination. Lemons abound, hope you enjoy!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 16

BPOV

_From Breaking Dawn, The Story of Edward & Isabella Cullen, Bella's entry August 16__th__, 2005_

To say that my wedding night was all that I could have hoped for would be an understatement. It was everything I wanted and more. I'd never felt more complete than I was the moment Edward and I became one. I truly thought life couldn't get any better than that, but I should have known that with Edward, it could. It did. Our honeymoon was magical. What else could I expect with a vampire husband?

He took me to Paris; home of the Eiffel Tower and The Louvre and The Seine and fantastic cuisine and Alice's beloved couture. By day he took me to all the sites I'd imagined and dreamed of visiting and by night…by night he just took me. I know I'm supposed to use this journal to talk about everything I want to remember after my change and maybe that should include talking about all those beautiful sights and exploring a city I'd only dreamed about visiting but really all I want to talk about is Edward. He is what is most important to remember. Our time together, loving one another, finally. Over and over. I intend to come back to Paris countless times in my next lifetime, so the sights are really not as important for me to document.

We stayed at The Four Seasons hotel in Paris, near the Champs-Elysees. Calling it was luxurious isn't doing it justice. Marble floors, vaulted ceilings, crystal chandeliers…it took my breath away. Edward wasn't fazed of course but to me it was like stepping into another world. Our suite was bigger than my house, all decorated in pale blue and cream. I was afraid to touch anything but Edward just laughed away my fears and swept me into his arms. I'm not ashamed to say that I forgot to be intimidated when his lips touched mine. The luxury and opulence just faded away and until it was just the two of us.

The second time we made love was different from the first. Where there had been hesitance, the next time was all about urgency. He was still gentle and somewhat controlled but he let go a bit more and trusted himself with me. He trusted himself enough to lay me down on that feather soft bed and take me from above. He touched me, running his hands over every part of my body as he thrust inside me. His touch was soft, almost reverent, but it was there. If I had any complaints about our first time, and I truly didn't as it did exceed my expectations in every way, I would have wished for him to touch me while we made love. I know fear of hurting me held him back. Now he knows what I knew all along though, he could never hurt me, not even accidentally.

The more comfortable that he got with me, the more comfortable I was able to get with him. After a couple of nights I managed to put on a few of Alice's presents, even the Christian LeClerc see-through beige nightie that so horrified me at my bachelorette party. Of course, my sister-in-law was right as usual. Edward was most appreciative! In fact, he was more or less stunned for a few minutes I think. Long enough that I got red (what else is new?) and thought about running into the bathroom to hide. He came out of his stupor, though, and let me know without words that he approved of the outfit. Unfortunately it didn't survive the night. I never thought I'd see the day when Edward would rip my clothes right off me, at least not when I was a human, but I did that night! I have to tell Alice to order me some more, if she hasn't already. Multiples in every color would be good. God help me but if fancy French designers do that to my husband, I will happily allow Alice to dress me daily.

Of course our honeymoon wasn't just sex. Alice managed to show her hand even without being here. She set me up at the spa at the hotel and I had to endure hours of pampering. Even though I dreaded the idea, like most Alice thoughts it turned out pretty well. Edward took the opportunity to go hunting and I got buffed and massaged and primped. Since he was still out when I was done, I took the opportunity to luxuriate in the gorgeous bathtub, playing with all the lotions and creams. It's fun being girly now and then, not that I plan on mentioning that to my sister-in-law. Since the pampering put me in a good mood, I ventured back into Alice's gifts and put on that red leather bustier/g-string combo. Never did I think I'd see the day that I'd wear something that looked like it came out of an 80's hair band video, but I wanted to see Edward's reaction badly enough that it overcame my natural shyness. After all, he'd seen me completely naked, so that was far more revealing than the leather getup. I also found a pair of matching shoes that practically screamed "Do me". Red stilettos with 4 inch heels. Clearly Alice meant them to go with the outfit because she knew I would not be able to walk two feet in them normally. I waited until I was situated on the bed to put them on.

Edward's reaction took my breath away. He burst into the hotel room calling my name before he rounded the corner and came to a complete stop. I was lying back in the center of the bed, propped up with my arms draped over the pillows. My bare legs were crossed at the ankles, drawing attention to the death trap shoes. I left my hair down, flowing across my shoulders and giving me a little more coverage than the outfit provided. I watched as Edward's golden eyes went black a moment after taking me in. I can't even begin to describe what it feels like when those eyes are black with desire for me. I feel like his prey. I feel frozen to the spot, pinned under that unearthly gaze. But it's not just fear that I feel when he looks at me that way. It's want…_need. _I need him to take me when he looks at me like that.

I wonder, is it like that for everyone when they're with their lover, or is it a vampire thing? Or is it an Edward/Bella thing? I know we're not your average couple, so maybe it's a combination of things. All I know is when that black gaze alights on me, I feel…everything. I feel love and desire and passion and fire and heat with a small lace of fear running through all of that. The fear is instinctual of course, I know what he could do to me but I know that he won't, so it doesn't overrule any of the other, baser feelings when he looks at me that way. Honestly I think it just heightens the sensations I feel.

My name came out of his mouth like a growl. I couldn't speak as he slowly stalked toward me, looking like the mountain lion he so loved to hunt. He was beautiful. Stunning. How someone who looks like he does could fall in love with plain old me is something I'll never understand. When he finally got to me, he reached out and touched me as if I was made of the finest glass. It was quite a disparity, those raging eyes and that soft touch. It drove me wild with desire. I wished, once again, that he could take me with all that passion that was plain on his face. Soon. After he changes me we can be together as equals.

I felt that electrical current pulse through me that was ever present in his touch, only it was more potent as he touched me in the places I'd always dreamed about. As he finally brought his lips to my own he uttered one word, "Mine." I nearly came right then. I was his, forever, as he was mine. The truth in that word was utterly beautiful to me.

His skilled fingers played me every bit as effectively as they did his beloved piano. Not wanting to stop his ministrations, he leaned forward and yanked my g-string off with his teeth. I moaned and thrust up toward him. I felt one of the shoes catch in the bed and started to remove them so I wouldn't destroy the mattress but Edward stopped me. "Leave them on." It came out in the most guttural growl I'd ever heard him utter. I lost any interest in losing the shoes as his mouth came down and began to taste me. Nothing can really compare to that ice cold tongue pressing to my heat. I pretty much orgasm instantly when he touches me there. He took me then, still amazingly gentle despite the fire burning in his eyes.

I get lost when we're together intimately. It's like nothing else in the world exists but the two of us. I feel him through every part of my body. It's the most amazing feeling in the world. From what Alice and Esme have said, that never changes. Feeling this connected to him for eternity is a pretty good deal, all in all. I know I'll be giving a lot of things up but as long as I have him it'll be worth it to me.

There's one experience from the honeymoon that I really want to document. The thing I need to remember forever. The thing I'm actually tempted to tell my mother about, which would no doubt send her into spasms of joy. I've had a lot of firsts with Edward over these last couple of weeks but none surprises me more than the first spontaneous sex. Renee would be so proud.

It happened unexpectedly, which I guess spontaneous sex should, so that's pretty redundant. We were strolling through little boutiques as I tried to find souvenirs for the family. It's not an easy task trying to find presents for every Cullen, let me tell you. They already have everything anyway. Edward was instrumental in helping me find my purchases. I got Charlie some silly French items, a miniature Eiffel tower and a beret. I figured it'd make him laugh. I got my mother, Rosalie and Esme some fancy French lotions and perfumes. I got Emmett some silly Jerry Lewis films, Edward said it was fitting; I decided not to mull that one over. Jasper was getting a French Revolution book; he loved reading about wars and strategy so I thought he'd appreciate it. I picked out a soft gray cashmere sweater for Carlisle; it just looked like something that would look perfect on him, regardless of the fact that he probably had no use for it. Alice, of course, was the most impossible to shop for. A pretty dress caught my eye, it was bright purple and silk and short and fitted; it fit her bubbly personality well and the price tag indicated that it was something she'd appreciate, in other words, something designer.

No sooner had I decided on that dress for her than Edward's cell rang. He looked at me and just handed me the phone. "Bella! It's perfect, I love it so much! Thank you, thank you. Size two, please!" I just laughed and got the dress in a size two. "Oh, by the way, rain's coming so you might want to pick up an umbrella for later." She paused for a second and then giggled. "Never mind, don't worry about the umbrella." I just thought that was weird but that was Alice so why question it? She hadn't steered us wrong on the weather so far, we only had to spend 2 days of our trip indoors. We managed to fill the time quite nicely, needless to say.

Edward and I returned to the hotel and deposited our gifts. I didn't want to eat at the hotel again for dinner so we elected to walk back and find a little bistro. We strolled down the street hand in hand and just enjoyed the sights and sounds of Paris. I forgot all about Alice's weather forecast as I got swept up in my beautiful husband. Women walked past staring at him, he was just breathtaking. He wore a forest green button down shirt and black jeans and boots. He could have easily been strolling down a fashion runway, even in such a simple outfit. I hardly looked the part of his wife; I was wearing a white button down shirt and blue jeans and sandals. It didn't stop him from looking at me just as adoringly as I was looking at him, he didn't even notice the women ogling him.

Before we could find any place to eat the clouds opened up and it started pouring. It came down so quickly that even Edward was unable to grab me and get me to shelter before we were both soaked. He pulled us into a doorway with a big white awning over the top but we were already wet so I didn't see the point in bothering staying there. I stepped out into the rain and just grinned at him. "We're from Forks, Edward, what's a little rain?" He didn't respond, he just stood there staring at me as the water poured down my skin. I noticed that his eyes had gotten black again but it took me a minute to process why.

I glanced down and saw that my white shirt was plastered to my skin and he could see right through it. I threw my arms over myself and glanced around but the street had cleared when the rain started to come down so it didn't look as if anyone else was getting a glimpse of me. Nobody except my husband of course; my husband who was staring at me as if he was going to devour me with his eyes. There I was looking like a drowned rat and he was getting excited. I would probably never understand men. He, of course, still looked perfect despite the rain, drops were sprinkled through his glorious hair, not nearly as wet as mine since he was still under the awning. His shirt was clinging to him, showing his defined chest and arms in all their glory. He made my mouth water. We stared at one another for an indeterminate amount of time, me in the rain and him in that doorway. I could actually feel that electric pull pulsing between us but before I could take a step towards him, he closed the distance between us and started kissing me passionately. It was one of those rare unrestrained kisses that I got from him, his lips pressed firmly against mine and his tongue entered my parted lips. I felt like I was drowning in him as the rain continued to beat down against us.

His fingers pushed my wet hair out of my eyes and his hands cupped my face as he continued to kiss me with no restraint. Eventually I pulled back, gasping for breath. I started to speak his name but he silenced me with yet another kiss. I wanted him to take me right there on the street; fire burned through my veins even as I shivered from the cool water dripping down my body. Edward broke away from me and glanced down the street, his eyes finding something that I couldn't see. Before I could ask him what he saw, he scooped me into his arms and darted down the street at his breakneck speed. I knew nobody could see us but I was surprised that he dashed off with me so brazenly. He stopped seconds later and we were now in a forest, the trees providing some shelter from the rain. We were still getting wet but we weren't getting pelted by the downpour.

I didn't say a word; I just stared at him trying to read that immobile face. His eyes were still black and burning into me but I wasn't sure what he was thinking. I knew what I was thinking but I didn't think he could possibly be on the same page with me. Not my husband, epitome of self-restraint; I assumed he was just trying to get me away from any prying eyes. I assumed wrong.

He reached out and caressed my cheek, tracing a falling raindrop as it made its way down my face. He stepped closer to me and I reacted defensively and took a step back; I couldn't help myself, the blackness in those eyes was as frightening as it was arousing. I couldn't step back very far; I was backed up against a tree. "Bella…so beautiful." He took my lips again and pressed his body up against mine; I was pinned between his immovable form and the rough tree trunk behind me. There was no escape, not that I really wanted to run. That brief instinct passed the moment his lips touched mine. I met his kiss with all the passion I had in me, because I had to let him know how much I wanted him. I figured my time was limited before he'd pull back and decide to get me back to the hotel and out of the rain.

Surprisingly, though, he did not stop the kiss. Instead he pushed me back against the tree harder and lifted me up so that he wouldn't have to bend down to reach me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and gasped at the friction of his erection pressing against me. "Bella, I can't wait. I have to have you now." His lips traced down my face and over my jaw down to my neck. My heart raced at those words. He wanted me so much that he couldn't contain it until we were behind closed doors. I told him without words that I wanted him too, pressing against him harder and putting all my emotions into my kiss.

He pulled back and released my legs from around his torso. I felt a moment of sadness as I thought that maybe he'd regained control and was putting a stop to things, but before I had a chance to complete that thought his hands came up and began to unbutton my shirt quickly. He removed it and laid it on a low hanging tree branch. I stood there in my plain white satin bra, wishing that I was wearing one of the sexier bras back in my suitcase. Edward didn't seem to mind though, he reached up and ran his finger along the satin, tracing from the straps down to my breast. He palmed me through the bra, his thumb tracing over my painfully hard nipple. He reached behind me and released me from that satin barrier and took a nipple into his mouth. I let my head fall back against the tree trunk and just got lost in the sensation of his lips tugging against me. He gave both nipples equal attention while my legs felt like they were turning into jelly. If the tree hadn't been there I would have fallen down, no question.

His fingers traced up and down my stomach as he continued his attention on my breasts. I whimpered and he looked up and smiled that crooked smile that always melted my heart. "That raindrop, right there on your nose, I'm going to follow that drop with my tongue." I crossed my eyes and saw that there was indeed a raindrop poised on the tip of my nose, ready to fall. I watched as it dropped, feeling it hit my lips and travel down the center of my body. Edward's tongue touched the end of my nose, his lips curling around it to give me a quick kiss. He then dragged his tongue over my lips, laughing as I whimpered and tried to capture it with my own but continuing down my chin and over my neck, following whatever path the raindrop had taken. I'd lost track of it the instant his tongue met my skin. He followed the line directly between my breasts and I pushed against him, wanting him to take them back into his mouth but he was determined to trace the rain's path. His tongue continued down my stomach, stopping to rest right above the button that closed my jeans. "Hmmm, it seems that the raindrop has fallen below your jeans, Bella. Should I continue to follow it?" I moaned as his seductive voice washed over me, his tongue still pressed above my zipper. He looked up at me and I told him "Yes." It was all I could manage at the moment.

He made quick work of my jeans after I said yes, using one hand to hold me up while he quickly unzipped and pulled them down. I was in nothing but my matching satin white panties while he was fully clothed and kneeling before me. His tongue traced down my panties and licked me right at the center. "I don't see the raindrop, Bella, where did it go?" I whimpered and pushed myself against his face. I managed to choke out the word "under" which was enough for him as he yanked my panties down and put his tongue right back on me. I came again and again, shouting his name as he lapped at the now nonexistent raindrop. He pulled back and looked up at me through his hooded lashes. "Nothing tastes better than you in the rain. Your scent is enhanced; it always drives me crazy when you get wet."

I giggled at the double meaning in his words. "I guess it's a good thing we live in Forks then; I hope it rains every day from now on." He growled at that and stood up, removing his clothes faster than I could even see. He lifted me back up and I wrapped my legs back around his waist, feeling the length of him pressing against me. "I love you, Bella." His lips met mine as he thrust into me, my backside pressing into the tree. I gasped from the roughness of the bark against my back. Edward started to pull me away from the tree but I said no against his lips. He reached out to the tree branch and pulled my shirt back off and shoved it behind me to keep my back from getting scraped. He thrust into me over and over, increasing his speed. Water slicked down both of our bodies as we moved against one another. Edward's sexy growl vibrated in his chest and went right through my own. He swallowed my cries with his hungry lips, pressing against me harder than he ever had before. It didn't take long before I was tightening around him, my release driving him to his own.

He rested his forehead against mine and kissed the tip of my nose, our bodies still joined together. "I feel like I should apologize for losing control like that but I really don't feel sorry." I laughed and told him there was nothing to apologize for; he'd given me everything I'd been craving since the first time we made love. I then told him what Alice had said about taking an umbrella and then changing her mind and laughing about it. He grinned and said that we'd have to buy her a few more dresses to thank her; I readily agreed with that sentiment.

After snuggling and kissing for a few more minutes we got dressed and headed back out into the Paris night to our hotel. I was rather ravenous but in our current state we decided that room service would be for the best. The rest of our trip was not quite as eventful but it was just as perfect. We made love countless times and each moment was precious to me, but none more so than that interlude in the rain. I never want to forget the first time we had spontaneous outdoor sex, so I had to document it here just as it happened. My mother was right, there's nothing better than seeing your man lose complete control and just having to take you then and there. I can't wait for the next time…I'm hoping there's a lot of rain in the forecast for Forks!


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N Wow, I'm floored by the amount of people who added me to alerts and favorites with my last chapter. Was it the lemons? Is sex the answer? I should have known! I just wanted to thank you, every alert makes me smile. I'm glad so many of you are enjoying this; I'm having a blast writing it, finally. This chapter ended up being a lot of fun. Hope you enjoy it!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 17

BPOV

Before I knew it we were on our way back to Forks, leaving Paris behind. Edward promised me that we could return anytime I wanted. I did want…I wanted to see the world with him by my side. I couldn't wait until after my transformation, endless possibilities awaited.

"What are you thinking about, love?"

I looked up to realize we were close to home. "The future."

He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "What about it?"

"All the things I want to do and see. I can't wait for forever with you." He smiled softly.

"For the first time in my life, forever doesn't seem daunting." I couldn't help it; that made me light up inside. "But Bella…before we start on forever, you really need to spend some time with your father. I know how much you're going to miss him."

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat at the thought of leaving Charlie behind. Edward wasn't fooled though; he could see the tears in my eyes. "Bella…"

I had to cut him off. "Edward, I know what I'm doing, I swear it. Charlie will be fine. He'll have Billy and Jake; they'll be there for him." My voice cracked when I said Jake's name, I couldn't help it. I hurried on before Edward could pounce on any weakness. "I'm going to see my father right after we give everyone their presents, I have to take him his and I want to make him dinner."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "That sounds like a good idea but don't you think..."

I reached over and took his hand away from his face. "Edward, you would give me anything, wouldn't you?"

His golden eyes burned into mine. "Of course I would."

"Don't you think I would do the same?"

He looked confused. "Yes."

"And you'd give up your life for me, wouldn't you?"

"You know I would, I nearly did."

"Then why can't you comprehend that I would do the same for you? That I want, no, I have to do the same for you. I have to be with you forever, Edward, it's the only way I can live."

The confusion melted out of his eyes and he gave me a half grin. "Trapping me with my own actions, are you? I guess you do know what you're doing."

I couldn't conceal a triumphant smile. "I learned from the master."

"Master, huh? I think I could get used to that."

I gave him a light smack on the arm; no way was I breaking my knuckles again. "You wish!"

His smile turned sultry and his eyes turned black. "Maybe I do." He broke off with a sigh as we pulled up in front of the house. "Unfortunately we're home and I don't need Alice's foresight to know that we're about to be pounced on by our entire family." Sure enough the front door burst open and Alice was at my door before I registered her movement.

"Bella! I'm so glad you're home! I've missed you, have you missed me? How was Paris?" It was a good thing she didn't need to breathe because her mouth was going a mile a minute. "How was the spa? Did you see any good fashion? Of course you didn't, well except for my dress! Thank you so much for it, it's perfect! Can I have it now? Why are you still sitting there? Come in!" I just stared at her and she finally got tired of that, huffed and leaned over and released my seat belt and pulled me from the car. "Really, Bella, cat got your tongue?"

Esme reached over and gave me a gentle hug. "Welcome back, we missed you." I clung to her for a moment, afraid to relinquish my grasp in case Alice was going to drag me into the house. She released me but I was immediately engulfed in Emmett's strong arms.

"Hey, little sis, glad to have you back!" I returned his hug and told him I was happy to be home as well.

Emmett's lips twitched. "Home, that's right, this is your home now! We'll have to get you a key. What do you think of that Edward, Bella's _key_?" The look on my husband's face could only be described as irritation. He scowled at Emmett. The entire family was laughing and I hadn't a clue why, clearly it was some inside joke.

"Why would I need a key, nobody locks the place, who is going to break into a house of vampires? What are you all laughing at?"

"Nothing, Bella dear." Esme gave Emmett a stern look and guided me toward the house. "Come inside and tell us all about your trip. It was your first time in Paris, right?"

"Oh yes! Esme it was magical. Such a beautiful city! Edward took me to the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower and all these boutiques and restaurants. It was like living in a dream for a week."

"Sounds like a very_ active _honeymoon, Bella. You must have been exhausted after all that sightseeing." Emmett smirked at me and I felt my cheeks redden.

Edward sensed my discomfort and tried to silence his brother. "Emmett!"

Emmett widened his eyes and batted his lashes. "What's the matter, brother dear? I'm just observing how very tiring that week in Paris must have been on my little sister. I'm sure all that _stimulation _was exhausting." Yeah, I actually felt my cheeks getting hotter with every word he uttered.

"Enough, son." Thank God for Carlisle. Emmett looked like he had plenty more innuendo to lay on us but he bit his tongue. I'm sure he'd hit us with more once Carlisle and Esme weren't around to stop him.

I decided to change the subject as best I could. "We got everybody presents. I haven't wrapped them or anything but…"

Alice cut me off. "Wrapping isn't necessary. Just pass them out!" She was bouncing all over the couch, excited despite knowing exactly what she was getting. She took the dress out of my hands the instant I moved toward her. "Oh, it's as soft as it looks. I'm going to try it on right now." And she was off, not really caring about the rest of the presents, already knowing what they were and what reactions everyone would have anyway.

"This is lovely, Bella, thank you so much." I was embraced in another sweet Esme hug.

"I know you don't really need things like lotions and bubble baths but I thought you'd like them anyway." I felt self conscious, I didn't know what to get and they all had everything they could ever want.

"Bella, we may not need these things but we are female and we like them! Who doesn't like a bubble bath?" Rose muttered something in response but I couldn't understand her and Emmett put his big hand down on her shoulder to stop whatever derogatory thing she was saying.

"Just say thank you, baby."

"Thanks Edward, Bella." She said it in the most grudging voice she possibly could but I wasn't going to push the issue.

Jasper was already flipping through the pages in his new book. "This is great, guys, really. I haven't bothered to study French history before. I'm sure there are some different war strategies…" His voice trailed off as he got caught up in whatever was on the page. I grinned over at Edward, proud that I had picked up something Jasper liked.

"Jerry Lewis? Sweet!" Emmett vaulted over the couch and ran to the DVD player. "He is one funny dude." Edward just rolled his eyes at me.

"I told you he'd love it." Clearly he did, not that I'd ever understand why. "Bella picked out all the gifts herself; I just gave a few suggestions here and there."

"Well, Bella, I must say you did a wonderful job. I love my sweater." Carlisle had already put the sweater on and it looked lovely, the gray contrasting nicely with his blond hair and golden eyes. "It was kind of you to think of us while you were on your honeymoon."

"You're my family now." I told him shyly, looking down at the couch and picking at a nonexistent thread. Edward's arms wrapped around me and he kissed my neck.

"Yes, they are."

Alice ran over and grabbed my hand. "Since we're giving gifts…"

I was horrified. "No, Alice! Absolutely not, no more presents."

"Oh, please, Bella, you know how we are. Besides, this is something you want!" Something I want? I had everything I could possibly want already. "Come upstairs, this one is for your eyes only, at least for now!" Oh no. What had she done? I let her drag me up and into her room while laughter followed us up the stairs. There was a huge cardboard box sitting on her bed; it was bigger than I was.

"Alice, what did you do?"

"I did exactly what you wanted me to do, nothing more, nothing less!" She put her hands on her hips and glared at me. "Are you going to open it or not?"

"Open it? I can't even reach the top Alice."

She sighed and scrambled on the bed. "Okay, I'll open it." She tore into the box like a child on Christmas morning and piles of clothing came spilling out. Colors upon colors cascaded down on the bed.

"Alice, what is all of this?"

"Think about it, Bella. What did you wish for while you and Edward were on your honeymoon?" Wish for? I wished for plenty of things that I didn't want her to know anything about. Having an all-seeing sister had its perks but also many drawbacks.

"I don't know Alice, what did I wish for?" I wasn't going to start throwing out all the fantasies and dreams I'd had during my honeymoon, thank you very much.

"I'll give you a hint…it was the after you wore the beige see-through nightie that so horrified you when I gave it to you!"

"Oh!" Oh my! "Christian Lewhatever nighties in every color?"

"LeClerc, Bella, and yes, every color. Multiples, actually, as requested." She looked at me expectantly and I couldn't let her down so I threw myself onto the bed next to her and gave her a giant hug. "Thank you, Alice! It's just what I wanted."

She laughed. "I know and it's nice to see you respond well to a gift."

I looked down at the pile of nightgowns and looked back up at her. "Well it's the perfect gift. Thank you again."

She started to shake with laughter. "Yeah, the kind of gift that keeps on giving!"

I felt my cheeks get warm. "Um, yeah. Well, I think I had better go downstairs and…"

"Now wait a minute, Bella, you don't think I'm really going to let you out of here without talking about your honeymoon, do you?"

"Well, I, uh, I need to go visit my dad."

"Your dad can wait; he won't be off work for another hour at least." Dammit. Inspiration struck.

"Yes, but I want to surprise him with dinner so I need to go to the store and get some groceries." Alice narrowed her eyes at me but seemed to be won over.

"Alright, that excuse will work for now, but don't think you're off the hook. We WILL have girl talk." I knew better than to argue, I would just take my escape now while I could get it.

"Okay, I'll see you later then!" I gave her another hug and started down the stairs. Edward was still sitting in the living room with Jasper, still engrossed in his book, and Emmett planted in front of the TV laughing like a loon.

"Hey, love, did you like Alice's present?" Edward grinned knowingly at me and I flushed again.

"I liked it a lot; I think you'll like it even more though." I couldn't believe I said that, especially in front of his brothers.

Emmett guffawed even more loudly and Jasper looked up from his book and grinned. Edward pulled me down onto his lap and whispered in my ear, "I have no doubt of that; perhaps we could go put that to the test now though."

I combed my fingers through his soft hair and whispered back to him. Why I was bothering I didn't know. I knew they could all hear me but I felt better pretending anyway. "I'd like to but I need to head over and see my dad."

Edward nodded in understanding and gave me a light kiss. "Tell him I said hello."

"Will do. Hey has anybody seen my keys? The truck is out back right?"

Emmett's head shot up and he grinned. "Keys? Edward, do you know where Bella's key could possibly be? Have you seen it?"

Edward glared at him and didn't respond, his arms tightening around me for some inexplicable reason. "Edward, do you know where it is?" Emmett and Jasper burst out laughing at my question. I was mystified as to what was going on with them.

"Knock it off, guys." What in the world was going on?

"Seriously, do you know where my key is? I can't get anywhere without it."

Emmett was now on the floor laughing his fool head off. Really, Jerry Lewis could not possibly be that funny. "Edward," he choked out. "You need to help her get there. You have to find the key!" Jasper's book fell off his lap as he buried his face in the couch cushions and shook with laughter. I could hear Alice and Rose laughing from the second floor. What was going on with them? They'd all lost their minds.

"Edward, will you please help me find my key? Remember when you found it while I was at school before you went hunting? Right before our first date in the meadow?"

He sighed as uproarious laughter started again. Jasper finally lifted his head from the couch and put on a stern face. "Really, Edward, I am shocked! You found her key before you two ever went out? Before you ever even kissed? So much for our virtuous brother!" Emmett howled with more laughter and rolled around the floor, actually knocking over his beloved TV and causing a loud crashing noise.

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "What is wrong with all of you? Can't anybody help me find my key?"

"I don't think Edward would appreciate it if we did that, Bella!" Emmett shoved the TV off of him and stumbled to his feet, still laughing and clutching his stomach. It was the first time in my life I'd ever seen a vampire look drunk. "But I bet I could find it, no problem."

"Emmett!" Rose's voice was cold and angry sounding. All the hilarity died from his face and he looked even paler than he usually did.

"Um, coming Rose!" He was up the stairs in a flash.

"Edward, what is going on?"

"It's nothing, Bella, inside joke is all. Here, take my car." He shoved the keys into my hand and hurried me out the door. Clearly I wasn't going to get an explanation from my husband. That was fine; I'd get one of them to explain it later. Edward gave me a quick peck on the lips goodbye.

"Have a good time. I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." But I wasn't going to miss our insane family, not in the weird mood they were in. I got in the car. As I was driving away I swear I heard a loud crack, almost like thunder, coming from the house. God only knew what they were doing now.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N I want to thank all the new readers who came aboard in the last chapter, especially those who took the time to leave reviews. All those who commented, made me a favorite and/or put me on alert made my week. This chapter is back to a little angsting, they can't all be fun, but I have three words for next chapter. Cullen Road Trip! Thanks for staying with me and special thanks to rameau and tripp for making my words coherent and AGO because she rocks!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 18

BPOV

The next couple of weeks flew by. I spent most of my evenings with Charlie, cooking for him and watching the Mariners on TV. We didn't exactly chat up a storm but we just enjoyed being with one another. Both of us knew that our time together was limited; I was more aware of just how limited. I had several attacks of guilt knowing what grief I would be bringing him in the near future. Letting me go was going to be very hard on him; hearing I'd died might just kill him. I took some solace in the fact that Billy and Jake would be there for him.

The day before I left I decided to write letters to the three men that had been such an integral part of my life. I knew Jake and Billy probably wouldn't care to hear from me but I had to reach out one last time.

_Dear Jacob,_

_I know that I'm the last person you want to hear from right now and I hope that you can forgive me, yet again, for pushing myself back into your life. I promise it will be the last time. I really just wanted to take the chance to tell you again what your friendship meant to me. You got me through the darkest period of my life and for that I will always be thankful. I'm sorry that I couldn't give you what you deserved but I know that someday you will find a girl that will be everything you wanted and more. And she'll be able to give you her whole heart in a way that I never could have, in the way that you deserve. You of all people should never have to settle for second best. _

_I have no right to ask anything of you, I'm well aware of that. I know you don't approve of what I'm planning to do and how I'll be living my life but I'm going to ask anyway. Not for me and not for old time's sake, but for Charlie. I know you love him and I know he loves you. Losing me is going to be hard on him and I just want to know that you'll be there to help him. Ha, I can picture the angry expression on your face right now. I know you will be there and would be without my asking but it just makes me feel better to get it out there anyway. I miss talking to my best friend. _

_Sorry, this wasn't meant to be a letter to try to make you feel guilty for not talking to me. If the situation were reversed I imagine I'd be doing the same. Really I just wanted to ask you to look after my father and to let you know that I'll always remember you. You'll always be my best friend and I'll always love you. Our friendship crosses enemy lines, time and space. I've been writing down everything I want to remember about my life and you and our time at La Push feature prominently. Anytime I see the sun I'll smile thinking of my own personal sun, for that's what you always will be to me._

_Take care, Jacob. I wish you the happiest of lives and hope that one day you'll forgive me for all that I've done and that which I will do. Be strong for Charlie and Billy and stand strong against them, I know they'll be grumping at you for years to come. May you always find the perfect wave, the car parts you need and the peace you feel while running with your pack. I'll be thinking of you._

_Love always, _

_Bells_

_Dear Billy,_

_I hope this letter finds you well. I know that you are aware of the future I've chosen and that you don't agree with it and I don't write this to change your mind. I really am just writing to say thank you. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for your friendship. Thank you for taking me into your home, questions unasked, when I was alone and a shell of a person. Thank you for caring about me and protecting me. Your kindness cannot be measured._

_Mostly, thank you for that which you have not yet done but most definitely will. Thank you for taking care of Charlie after I'm gone. You've been his best friend for longer than I've been alive and I know you'll always be there for him. You and Jake have been Charlie's family for ages and I know you'll continue to be so. I thank you for that. I know he's going to need you when I'm gone, more than ever, and I take great comfort in the fact that he has you both._

_I want you to know that I'll always consider you to be part of my family. I know maybe it's not the family that you were hoping we would be but I've still always considered you to be like a father. I'm sorry that I hurt Jacob the way I did and I don't blame you if you can never forgive me for that. You're a wonderful father to him and I'm quite glad that he has you to help him with any hurt I've caused. Know that I never wanted to cause him pain; nobody deserves it less than he does._

_Watch out for the two of them, Billy. Your quiet strength will help get them through the added pain I know I'm going to cause them. I hate myself for that; I really do. I won't attempt to explain my choice to you; I just know it's the right one for me even if it makes me selfish for hurting them. Take care of them and take care of you; I love you all very much and want you to be happy. You're a family, Billy, that's what you are and that's what you'll always be. I am glad you'll all have each other. Thank you for all you've done and all you will do. _

_Love,_

_Bella_

_Dear Dad,_

_I thought I'd write you a letter because Lord knows the two of us don't really do a great job of expressing ourselves verbally. Not that I mind that, we have a great relationship that doesn't rely on words to show how we feel. It'll be a long time until we can sit down and just be together again so I thought maybe I'd get down on paper what I never really say in words._

_I love you, Dad. I always have and I always will. I didn't get to spend nearly enough time with you growing up; that was not your fault so don't ever feel bad about that. I had a good life with mom and I wouldn't give that up but if I could go back I'd make sure we had more time together, even if we had to spend it fishing. Are you laughing yet, Dad? Yes, I said fishing!_

_I will always be thankful that I came to live with you two years ago. No, not just because I met Edward but because I got to be with you. I know I didn't make it easy on you, Dad. I know it tore you up inside when it seemed I was lost to the world but you stood by me until I was myself again. I can't begin to imagine how hard it was on you to see me like that, but know that I got through it because of you and Jake and Billy. Thank you for bringing them into my life, I always wanted a bigger family and though it was kind of unorthodox I definitely got one. _

_You always stood by me even when you didn't agree with my choices and I thank you for that. Giving me the freedom to choose my own path has made me into a stronger person. I know I've taken a different path than most kids my age but I know it's the right one for me and I thank you for believing in me enough to respect that._

_It has to be hard on you to feel like you got me back in your life only to lose me again but know that is not the case. No matter where I go and what I do; I will always be with you. You will always be my father and I will always be your little girl, no matter how long I live. I may be on the other side of the country but a big part of my heart will always be in Forks, with you._

_Do me a favor and try to eat a home cooked meal now and then; I'm sure Sue Clearwater or some of the other single ladies about town would be more than happy to look after the handsome police chief. I am going to have to ban you from using the microwave; you'll no doubt blow up the house if you attempt to nuke anything again. When in doubt, go to the diner, and have a salad now and then will you? You see how well I know you, Dad? You're probably eating a pizza and drinking a beer as you read this, aren't you? Four food groups, remember there are four and one of them is vegetables (pizza toppings do not count)._

_I'll cut this short because I know by now I'm embarrassing you. You're probably blushing just like I am writing this but I really did want to tell you how glad I am that I came to live with you and how much I love you. Take good care of yourself, you're the only Dad I've got and I want you to be around for a long time. I'll miss you and call you as often as I can. _

_Love always,_

_Bella_

Tears poured down my face as I finished the letter to Charlie and sealed it. I put it in a separate spot from Jake's and Billy's; theirs were going in the mail tomorrow. I felt a cool hand rest on my neck and I closed my eyes and leaned into Edward's palm.

"Baby, are you alright?"

I nodded because I really couldn't form the words. Edward knew what I needed and he scooped me up from the desk and carried me over to the bed, holding me in his arms and letting me cry until there were no more tears to be had. I buried my face in his neck and inhaled that wonderful scent that was pure Edward. As always, his smell, his touch and his taste against my lips served to calm me.

"Thanks, I'm alright now." His cool thumb moved over my cheek, wiping away the last of the hot tears.

"Are you sure, Bella? What were you writing that had you so upset?"

"Letters to Jake, Billy and my father. I just wanted to give them all a proper goodbye and I wanted to tell them all to care for one another. It's going to be so hard for them when I'm gone…I just need to know that they'll be there for each other."

"Well of course they will, Bella, they're family. That's what family does." I smiled a little at Edward calling them a family just as I had.

"I know. I seem to attract strange family units." He grinned and chucked me under the chin.

"None stranger than this one, that's for sure." The smile slipped off his face and he looked deeply into my eyes. I found myself almost being hypnotized by that golden gaze and had to shake my head to clear it. "You know that this does not have to be goodbye, not for you and Charlie. There's no rush, Bella. We can go to New Hampshire, settle in, go to some classes, live a little and come back for the holidays…"

I cut him off before he could get a full head of steam going. "Edward, I know, we've been over this hundreds of times. I don't want to delay the next phase of my life. You do realize that I would be crying just like this if I was a regular college kid going across the country for school, don't you?" He shook his head at that one. "I'd still be saying goodbye to my family and going off on a scary adventure where I knew nobody. I'd be terrified. That's one of the nice things about this, I'm not terrified. I have you and the rest of our family to be there with me. I'm happy to be starting this next life with all of you."

He smiled softly and ran his hand through my hair. "Just promise me this, give us a little time to settle into New Hampshire and live life a little bit before we change you. I want you to be absolutely sure when we do it, there's no taking it back."

"Alright, I promise, but…"

"No buts, I know you're going to say that your mind is made up and I do believe that, but waiting a month is not going to be a big deal, especially not when you're talking about having forever ahead."

"Okay, but…" He silenced me with a kiss this time. Whatever I had been going to say was lost in the feel of his lips against mine. He pushed me down onto the golden comforter and started kissing me with a passion.

"Enough talking, I'd like to make love to my wife one last time before we leave. Two days on the road that I won't be able to touch you is two days too many." He had a point. I pressed into him as he gently removed my clothes and his. He made love to me like he had the first time, slow and gentle. Leaving, letters and loss melted away as love took over.

I woke to the sound of something crashing and Alice screeching at Emmett over some mirror he dropped. That confused me as vampires didn't tend to drop anything. Edward was lying next to me shaking with laughter. I poked him in his hard side and asked what was going on.

"Alice has been bossing everyone around all morning; she wants the truck arranged perfectly. Em got annoyed with her and "accidentally" dropped her favorite mirror. It's an antique Queen Anne piece, she's not too happy."

"And she knows he did it on purpose, right? How come she didn't see it and stop him?"

"He didn't actively decide to do it until he did it. She knew he was plotting to get her but she didn't know how." He laughed as Alice kept berating Emmett for acting like a child. "She's already plotting some revenge of her own. Emmett's going to be very sorry." I wanted to ask what she had planned but I knew Edward couldn't tell me or Emmett would overhear. Shaking my head I got up and got ready for the trek across country to New Hampshire.

"I'm really going to be putting a crimp in your style on this trip, aren't I?"

Edward stuck his head into the bathroom and regarded me as I washed my face and brushed my teeth. "What do you mean?"

"I mean all the stops you'll have to make for the human. You guys could probably get there in a day if you didn't have me along."

He placed a soft kiss on my neck. "Maybe, but this way we'll get to take our time, see the country and enjoy the trip. Usually we speed past everything. I look forward to seeing the country with you, truly."

"Our first family road trip. It's going to be interesting."

He laughed. "You don't know the half of it. Em & Jasper will make bets to keep each other occupied. I have no idea what they'll do but I know they're both already plotting and planning." Oh Lord, I was getting nervous now.

"Bella, Edward, let's get a move on! You have to get to Charlie's so we can be on the road in an hour."

I turned to Edward. "Alice has spoken, we better get a move on, I'd rather her be irritated with Emmett than have her start on us."

"Wise choice my love."

We made the quick drive to Charlie's, Edward following behind me in the Volvo. I had to return my truck to my father, it would not survive the move across country and even if it would, I'd be left in Cullen dust as I tried to keep up with them. Family of speed demons. I'd miss my truck, it felt like such a symbol of my life in Forks. It wasn't the prettiest car by far but it was strong and reliable and still standing. I fought back the tears as I pulled into the driveway. I ran my hand over the dashboard and whispered a goodbye to the truck. Maybe that was silly but it was a gift from Charlie and it was part of me.

I slipped out of the truck and turned to look at my house. I walked over and put my hand on the tree that was closest to my bedroom; the tree that Edward had used night after night to get into my room. He came over and stood next to me. "This tree feels like an old friend." He ran his hand over the bark. I heard a noise and looked to see what he was doing. The initials EC & BC had appeared under his fingernails. I tilted my head at him and he smiled. "Just feels like we should mark it as a memento."

He was right, it was perfect. I gave him a kiss and turned to face the front porch. The door opened and my father stepped out, looking stoic. I knew that was a self defense, he was trying to keep his emotions in check. I couldn't keep mine in check though, not when I knew this would be the last time that I saw him. I ran up the porch and threw my arms around his neck.

"Bells?" He sounded surprised but his arms curled around me and his face buried in my hair. "Are you alright?" I pulled back and noticed him glaring in Edward's direction. I laughed that his first instinct was to defend me. He and my husband were more alike than they knew.

"I'm fine, Dad, I'm just going to miss you."

His face softened a bit at that and he pulled me back into him. "I'll miss you too, Bells. But you're just going to school. I expect to see you back here on holidays." I swallowed against the lump in my throat and just nodded into his chest. I couldn't look at him and lie and say I'd be back. "Hey, no crying, Bells." Charlie's voice got gruff, he couldn't handle tears.

I brushed them away impatiently and gave him a tremulous smile. "We brought the truck back; I don't think she's up to the trip."

"Oh there are a lot more miles in her, Bells, but I can see why going 55 the whole way wouldn't appeal to you and the Cullen's with all their fancy cars." He grinned at the image and I laughed.

"Yeah I don't see Emmett and Edward enjoying that too much."

"If you would have let me give you your new car here instead of there you would get to experience the open road Cullen style. You are one now you know." Edward had to interject, somewhat injured that we were making fun of their cars.

Charlie put an arm over my shoulders. "She may be a Cullen by marriage but she'll always be a Swan at heart. Pick-up trucks and flannel shirts, just part of the package."

I grinned. "Don't worry, Dad, that won't ever change."

"I know, Bells." He turned to Edward and put out his right hand. "Take good care of her son. I'm trusting you to do right by her and watch out for her. I trust you with my girl."

Edward grasped his hand. "That's the greatest gift you could ever give me, Charlie. I promise to always take care of her."

"Good." Charlie turned back to me. "You go and have a good time at school, Bella. My daughter at Dartmouth, I'm so proud."

I burrowed against his chest again and breathed in the scent of flannel and denim that seemed to be my father's signature. "I love you Dad, always."

"Love you too, Bells. Now hit the road, I'm sure Alice is waiting." I laughed through my tears because he knew her so well. "You tell the Cullen's I said goodbye and thank them for looking out for you. Call me when you get there."

"I will." I handed him the letter I'd written. "Don't read this until after I'm gone, it's sappy." He blushed. "I'll miss you, Dad. Take care, okay?" I choked out the last word, the tears were falling fast now and I could tell Charlie was getting uncomfortable. He patted me on the back and shifted around nervously.

"Will do, Bells. You too. Now you get going, kids. Drive safely." He said the last part to Edward.

"I promise, Charlie." I gave him one more squeeze and pulled away. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and led me back to the car; I kept my head turned and my eyes on my father, committing him to memory. He lifted his hand in a wave and I waved back. I impatiently wiped at my face so I could see him clearly and say goodbye to the first place that had ever truly felt like home. I watched Charlie until he was out of eyesight.

I felt Edward's hand curl over mine and turned to face him. Only he could make me feel better, he was home now. The concern was all over his face so I gave him a smile and squeezed his hand. "Come on; let's go make a new home."


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N Just a quick thank you to all those who left reviews last week, you sent me over 100 comments which is something I really never imagined would happen. Thank you all for reading!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 19

BPOV

I did my best to wipe away my tears and clean up my face a little before we got back to the house. I knew the others would be ready to go when we got there and I didn't want them to see me looking a mess. We pulled up in front of the house; the moving truck and Carlisle's Mercedes were already gone. All that remained was Emmett's Jeep and now Edward's Volvo. The rest of the family cars had been shipped to New Hampshire; we had the available drivers but Alice insisted that we make it a real road trip and ride together as much as we possibly could.

"Great, you guys are here, don't even bother getting out of the car, we're ready to go!" Alice was beside herself with excitement and she brought a genuine smile back to my face.

"Actually, I'm going to have a human moment before we go. Are you sure you guys really want to caravan with us the whole way? There are going to be lots of stops made."

Her eyes shone with excitement. "Oh, I'm sure, it's going to be lots of fun; just you wait and see!" She clapped her hands together. I shook my head and went inside to use the restroom and wash my face. I came back out and found everyone loaded up; Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett in the Jeep and Edward in the Volvo.

"We'll ride this way for awhile and then maybe switch off after we stop to get Bella lunch. Let's roll!" The Wedding Nazi had become the Car Trip Nazi and none of us was about to argue. I got in next to Edward and he led the way out of Forks. I felt a momentary pang again when we passed the sign that said "You're leaving Forks" but before I could get too sad again Edward burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" He couldn't be laughing at me, could he?

"Alice," he said shaking his head. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Emmett gesturing wildly while Alice bounced up and down in the back seat. Jasper was grinning and Rose looked rather smug in the passenger seat.

"What are they up to?"

"Well I told you that Emmett broke Alice's mirror this morning; she's getting her revenge now." How? I was mystified; she didn't appear to be doing anything but Emmett looked very irritated.

"What did she do?"

"She got Rose to help her sabotage the radio. The only station that will come in is some opera station. Em hates opera with a passion. He thought he would be okay just shutting the radio off but Alice has a portable in the back with her and she's playing more opera. Well that and some truly awful county. Em's a rap and rock and roll guy. It's really making him mad."

I giggled as I watched Emmett's expression in the rearview mirror. He kept reaching into the backseat trying to get the radio but Rose would smack him and point forward. Alice was laughing and it appeared that she was singing along. "I'm surprised that Rose would go along with it."

Edward laughed. "Who do you think Emmett spends the majority of his time irritating? Rose may love him but he drives her nuts constantly. She's quite happy to get payback now and then." Emmett's expression became one of tortured resignation as he sulked and stopped his attempts to get to the radio. Thankful that I wasn't in that car I lay my head against the glass and closed my eyes. It had already been a stressful day and I wanted a nap.

I woke to a grumbling stomach and a slowing car. I glanced at Edward and he smiled at me. "Your stomach told me what your mouth couldn't say while you were sleeping. We're getting you some lunch." He pulled in front of a McDonald's. "Is this okay?"

"Sure." I yawned and stretched a little. "Where are we anyway?"

"Some little town on the Idaho/Montana border. We're making pretty good time." I smiled knowing that he took the opportunity to drive faster when I was conked out.

"Thanks for waiting until I was asleep before you put the pedal to the medal, lead foot." He laughed and got out of the car. Before I could open the door he had it opened for me. Would I ever get used to that?

"Come on, Bella! Let's go eat!" Emmett was entirely too excited for an activity that he wouldn't be participating in.

"What's going on with you, Emmett? Why are you so excited for me to eat?" I had to be suspicious; this was Emmett we were talking about.

He looked a little chagrined and scuffed his right foot on the ground. "No reason, I've just never been in a McDonald's before. I want to check out that freaky clown."

I laughed and linked an arm through his. "If you're lucky, this McDonald's will have a play area. There's a pit with these balls in it that kids play in." You'd have thought I'd just told him that grizzly bear was available on the value menu. His eyes lit up like it was Christmas and he bounded inside the restaurant, not bothering to wait for us. We walked in the door and heard a racket coming from the play area. Emmett had cannon-balled into those plastic balls. I prayed there were no children taken out in the commotion. Rose shook her head and muttered about overgrown children as she went to retrieve her husband.

I told Edward what I wanted and went to use the restroom. While I was sitting in the stall a door open and two girls came in giggling. "Did you see those guys? All three of them are gorgeous." I smiled, knowing the guys to whom she was referring.

"I know! Did you see the one with bronze hair? What I wouldn't do to that man!" I frowned. Knowing women thought about Edward and hearing them actually talk about him were two entirely different things.

"Too bad they're all taken. Lucky girls." We were lucky; we had three of the most beautiful men in the world.

"I think the bronze god is single…no way is he with that brown haired girl. She's nowhere near his league. Probably his cousin or some poor relation." I recoiled as if I'd been slapped in the face. Hearing someone verbalize what I constantly thought about myself hurt more than I could have imagined. I felt tears well in my eyes but I battled them back, I wasn't going to let those girls hurt me. I glanced down at my fists, tightly closed together and my wedding ring caught my eye. I took a deep breath and calm settled back over me. No matter what they thought, no matter what I thought, Edward had chosen me. I may not be in his league but he loved me anyway.

With my resolve set I straightened my shoulders and exited the stall. The girl's eyes widened as they saw me in the mirror. I just smiled and washed my hands and acted like nothing they'd said was of interest to me. As I turned toward the door I sent a smug smile in their direction. "Actually, the bronze god is very much taken. I'll be sure to tell my husband that he has some admirers though." I flashed my wedding ring at them and exited, feeling rather triumphant that I hadn't let them get the better of me.

Edward was standing right outside the door, the look of concern on his face fading when he saw that I was fine. "Bella, you know that what they said…" I cut him off with a kiss. I timed that well as the girls had come out of the bathroom and saw the two us entwined together. I heard a sniff as the girls shuffled past.

I pulled back and smiled at him. "I'm fine, Edward. They didn't say anything that wasn't true. You are out of my league." He opened his mouth to protest and I put a finger on his lips. "But you love me anyway and I know that. Nobody will ever make me doubt your love for me." The fire died out of his eyes and morphed into smoldering embers as he kissed my finger. I had to bite back a moan; we were standing next to a seven foot giant clown for crying out loud.

"Someday, Bella, you'll see yourself clearly. You are so far out of my league it's laughable. Now come eat." He led me to the table. Emmett was back, Rose had dragged him out of the play area.

"You are such a child, Emmett. You were scaring those little kids with all that thrashing. You could have hurt someone!" Emmett just nodded at Rose's tirade and looked every bit like a little boy being chastised by his mother.

Alice reached over and grabbed my hand. "Are you okay, Bella? We heard what those awful girls said in there."

"I'm fine, Alice, it was no big deal."

"Of course it was, nobody should ever make you feel bad about yourself. You're a Cullen now and that makes you completely fantastic. Those evil cows don't know a thing about being attractive." Immensely cheered I bit into my cheeseburger.

"Hey Bella, what is a happy meal?" Emmett asked.

"It's this little box that comes with a burger and small fries and a prize."

"Prize? What kind of prize?"

I shrugged. "Whatever they're giving away this week." I glanced at the board. "Looks like it's Transformers this week."

Emmett's face lit up. "Transformers? Like the movie and cartoons and stuff?"

"Yes, Em, just like the movie." He was up and out of his seat without another word. I continued eating and was just finishing up when Emmett came back with his hands full of happy meals. He put one in front of each of his family members.

"Get out your toys, let's do this thing." I watched in amusement as my vampire family started playing with the little plastic toys. "Dammit, I broke mine, give me yours Rose." She refused, seemingly fascinated by the transformation from robot to car. I guess it shouldn't have surprised me, Rose loved cars. Emmett went back and got more happy meals, stacking the food in front of me and gathering up his toys.

"Emmett, I'm full. Even if I wasn't I couldn't eat 15 cheeseburgers and fries." He just grunted at me and continued playing with his toys. "Are you guys ready to go yet?" We stopped so I could eat and they all get caught up in the magic that is McDonald's. Even Edward was playing.

"Hey, Em, I want that yellow and black one, I'll trade you my truck for that."

"Alice, you're into Transformers?"

She shrugged. "Not exactly, but that one is just so cute, it looks like a little bee." Emmett pondered for a second but then saw he had a second bee-like one and so he made the trade.

"Seriously, can we get out of here; you can play with your toys in the car." I felt like a mother all of a sudden. No wonder Carlisle and Esme drove ahead.

After a little more prodding I got everybody to head toward the vehicles. On the way out the door we passed the girls who had talked about me in the bathroom. Before I could work up a smirk both of them burst into tears, loud wails racking their bodies. I started in surprise and just continued out the door.

"Dude, Jas that was awesome!" Emmett boomed, clapping his brother on the back.

Jasper just grinned. "Nobody insults my sister." I felt a warm glow spread inside of me; Jasper had used his ability to get back at them for me.

"Thanks, Jasper." I was surprised when he put a hesitant arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze.

"Nothing to thank me for, you're family, we defend our family. Speaking of crying, Emmett, you still owe me a hundred bucks from the wedding."

Emmett shot him a look of disbelief. "No way, man, you cheated."

"What is this about?" I asked, figuring they bet on me tripping down the aisle or something.

"Emmett bet that Mike Newton would cry at the wedding, I bet that Eric Yorkie would. He did and I won."

"He only cried because you made him!"

"How do you know? Besides, you didn't say I couldn't when we made the bet."

Emmett's face fell and he slapped some money in Jasper's hand. "Cheat." Jasper just grinned and headed toward the Jeep, pocketing his winnings.

Rose fiddled with the radio and all of a sudden some loud rock music came blaring out of the speakers. "You've been punished enough." Emmett whooped with joy, happy again, and got back in the driver's seat. I settled down into the Volvo and basked in the craziness of my wacky family.

Hours and a couple of pit stops later, at which Emmett insisted on buying me candy and soda because according to him that's what people on road trips should eat, we stopped for dinner. Although Emmett lobbied for McDonald's again I wanted to actually sit down and order. We selected an Olive Garden and were seated in a quiet corner. As usual stares and whispers followed my gorgeous family everywhere they went but they ignored it. Jasper and Emmett had their heads bent together discussing something and Edward let out a laugh.

"What are they doing now?"

"Betting, again."

"Betting on what? How quickly it will take me to slop food on myself?"

Emmett's eyes lit up. "No, but that's a great idea. I say three minutes after she gets her lasagna."

Jasper studied me with narrowed eyes. "Five minutes. Another hundred?" Emmett nodded and they shook hands. I just sighed knowing that one of them would likely claim the pot.

"Alright, so what are you betting on other than that?"

Jasper laughed. "Emmett has to collect an item off everyone in the restaurant, undetected."

"He's going to steal?" I couldn't imagine it; the Cullen's had enough money to buy anything they wanted.

"No, just borrow. We have to set some ground rules though, Em."

"What rules? I don't do rules! The rules are there are no rules!"

Edward spoke up. "No, we need some rules. We can't have you getting caught with 100 wallets or something."

"That's right." Jasper nodded. "No wallets, purses, or jewelry of any kind. We can't take anything of value even if we do plan on returning it."

"Alright, I'll meet you at the car when I'm done. Rose, you keep an eye on my other bet, the instant Bella slops I want to know about it." He was off in a flash and I didn't see him again while waiting for my food or even after it came. I occasionally felt a gust of wind and I'd glance at Edward and he'd nod to let me know that was indeed his brother running past but he was too fast to catch with the human eye. Soon enough, a bit of lasagna landed up on my shirt. I glanced from the mess up to Jasper who smiled with grim satisfaction. "Four minutes, 39 seconds, that's a win for me!" Everybody laughed and Edward dipped a napkin in his water and cleaned me up as best he could.

Once we were finished we headed out into the parking lot. I followed everyone over to Emmett's jeep. Behind it, there was a pile of paraphernalia that made my eyes widen. Hats, scarves, keys, key chains, hair ties, aprons, chef's hats, shoes, shirts, belts…pretty much anything you could have wanted was right there. He even had a baby's pacifier. "Em, you stole from a baby?" Jasper's voice was tinged with disbelief.

"Hey, you said everybody in the restaurant. I'm giving it back, so you could say I borrowed from a baby."

When Rose spoke up her voice was tight with anger. "Emmett McCarty, is that a g-string?" Emmett nodded and grinned triumphantly at his brothers, clearly that was his prize of the collection. "How in the hell did you get a g-string?" Rose's voice held the threat of imminent death and Emmett was wise enough to realize that maybe he shouldn't take such joy in that item.

"Now Rosie, you know I wouldn't do anything inappropriate! This woman was wearing these really, really low cut jeans. I mean, you could see well down her pants and the g-string was right there. You know I wouldn't have taken it but that was the only item I could get off of her. She didn't have keys and I couldn't take her purse." The last came out in a whine. "I ripped it off really carefully…she didn't even feel a thing!" Rose's lips were twitching as she tried to hold on to the frown. She failed and joined the rest of us in laughter.

"Ha, I want to see that girl's face when she realizes her underwear is gone! I'll help you return everything." Rose and Emmett gathered up the spoils and ran back to the restaurant in a blur of activity.

I turned to Edward. "Are road trips usually like this for your family?"

Jasper spoke up. "No, not at all, we usually just drive straight from one place to another. Your presence is giving us an excuse to have some fun, so thank you for that." I smiled and told him I was glad to contribute in my own little way.

Emmett and Rosalie came back shaking with laughter. "Her face! You should have seen her face!"

"Baby, that was hilarious, I can't believe you did that." Edward was laughing along with them.

"Clue the rest of us in, please." I hated their superior skills and hearing, I had no idea what was so funny.

Emmett wrapped his arms around Rose and placed his head on her shoulder. "So we return everything and nobody is the wiser. The only thing left was the g-string and there was no way of returning that without some kind of explanation."

Rose took up the story, still giggling. "So I told Emmett he could keep the underwear but you know I wanted to see her reaction to finding out she wasn't wearing any." Emmett proudly whipped the black underwear out of his pocket and tied it on the Jeep's antenna like a flag of victory. "So she stands up from her chair and bends down to get her purse and Em was right, those were really low cut jeans. You could see half of her butt!"

Emmett cut in then. "So Rosie walks right up to her and acts completely offended. She starts yelling about the girl flashing the entire restaurant. She reached behind her and felt no underwear and I swear, Bella, she turned redder than I've even seen you get. She went running to the bathroom, holding her jeans up as high as she could get them. It was priceless."

I felt like maybe I should feel bad for the girl but then Edward said that she wasn't very nice anyway, her thoughts were anything but kind. I squelched the little germ of sympathy and laughed along with the family.

"Alright Em, you get double for that because it was epic. What shall we do next?" Emmett and Jasper hopped in the Jeep and started plotting their next task. Edward took my hand and led me over to the Volvo.

"Why don't you lie down in the back for the night, you can sleep and we'll drive nonstop until you have another human moment." I was amenable to that plan, my stomach was more than full and I was sleepy. I climbed into the makeshift bed Edward had provided, soft pillows and blankets, it was like being in a bed.

"Goodnight, Edward, I love you." I yawned and closed my eyes.

"Goodnight, sweetheart, I love you too."

That was all I heard and I didn't wake until the sun started to peak through the clouds in the morning. I sat up and reached my hand over to tangle in Edward's hair.

"Good morning, are you hungry?" I nodded. "We'll get off at the next exit." A quick stop and we were back on the road. I enjoyed the scenery for awhile before asking Edward where we were.

"Not too far from Chicago, actually." There was wistfulness to his tone that I'd never heard before. Chicago, his first home, his human home. I touched his cheek to let him know that I knew where his mind was.

"Did you want to stop there, look around?"

"No, baby, I don't remember anything from there anyway. It's not home anymore." I threaded my fingers through his and rested my head on his shoulder, just being there for him as he was always there for me. We left his hometown behind and I was hungry again. We stopped in Gary, Indiana, this time at a Burger King. Emmett got some more collectibles and a crown, which he insisted upon wearing as we drove away. I laughed at his antics. Emmett could find the fun in anything.

Our final stop for dinner was in Ohio. As this was the last leg of the trip, Emmett and Jasper wanted to get back to their fun. The two of them huddled together as I ate a delicious steak. They got up together and disappeared. I wondered what they were up to but figured I'd find out soon enough. They both came back wearing mile wide grins. "Oh come on you, two, what if there are cameras out there?"

Jasper shook his head. "There's not, I checked and so did Alice." Edward shook his head.

"Come on, Eddie, have a little fun, it's the last time we can do this. Bella won't have to make human stops next time we travel, though I totally think we'll have to stop just so we can play again!" Emmett wasn't letting anyone rain on his parade.

Edward raised an eyebrow at him. "I can have fun."

"Oh yeah? Prove it, brother dear." Edward gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and got up from the table. He wandered over to a woman sitting in the booth next to us. She was in her 40's and wearing some skimpy leopard print top that she was spilling out of.

"Hello Marly, my name is David." The woman's eyes widened as Edward used her name.

"How…how did you know my name?"

"I'm a psychic, I know everything." Emmett let out a laugh.

"Oh…uh…"

"Would you like to know what I'm picking up from you?"

She looked petrified but nodded. "You want my brother over there, that big guy with the muscles." Emmett's laughter cut off abruptly. She looked embarrassed but nodded. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, he likes you too. He has a thing for older women."

A feral smile came over her face and she began plumping her hair. "Hey, I do not prefer older women!" Emmett protested softly.

"Sure you do, man, Rose has a decade on you." Jasper pointed out helpfully.

"That's different," Emmett spluttered, looking panicky as the woman got up and started walking in his direction. "Rosie, help me."

She laughed. "Sorry, you're on your own big boy. I can't begin to compete with her." Rose laughed as her eyes traveled down the leopard print and took in the much too short miniskirt, stocky legs and black heels. Marly stopped and stood right next to Emmett. He glanced up at her and she took that as encouragement.

"Hello there, handsome." She ran her fake nails along the back of Emmett's shirt. Emmett shifted in his chair but couldn't get past her without causing some kind of scene. "What's your name?"

"Mike, Mike Newton." His face lit up in a smile. Jasper started shaking with silent laughter. His laughter cut off abruptly when another woman approached our table, looking remarkably similar to Marly. She stopped and stationed herself at Jasper's side. She was also in her 40's but she wrote a short black silk top and zebra striped skirt with black tights and black boots. Alice pressed into my side, her head buried in my hair as she fought the laughter.

"Your brother told me you were as into me as I am you," she announced, running her fingers through Jasper's hair.

"Uhhh…somehow I don't think that could be true." He muttered, tugging on Alice's hand. She pulled it away and smiled brightly at the woman.

"Of course it's true, my brother is just shy." Jasper gasped as Alice left him to his own devices. "We'll just leave you ladies to get to know our brothers. Bella, are you finished?" She took my arm and the three of us ducked into the restroom, where we could watch everything play out. Marly took Rose's vacated chair and the other woman took Alice's.

"My name is Nicky. What's yours?" Jasper gulped. "I'm Tyler." Her fingers continued to thread through his hair. "Nice to meet you, Tyler. Your brother said you've been checking me out all night, why didn't you just come over?"

"Well, I didn't think it would be appropriate."

"I like inappropriate things," she purred, running her other hand along his thigh. Alice and Rose were clutching each other, howling with laughter now.

"Why don't they run?"

"They're trying not to make a scene, for one thing. For another, they're just not used to women touching them like that. Usually people stay away from us. Edward found some real desperate cougars that weren't about to take no for an answer though." Alice explained.

"Uh, _Michael,_ we really should go find our family. I'm sorry, we're just passing through."

"Well surely you have time for a little fun."

"No, no we don't." Emmett was absolutely silent, sitting completely still as Marly kept caressing his shoulders.

"You're so big. Are you big everywhere?" Oh my God.

"She doesn't know the half of it," Rose chortled with glee. "If she did she'd never let him go."

"Should we go rescue them?" I felt guilty, the boys looked so uncomfortable.

"Hell no! That's what they get for messing with humans the whole trip. Maybe this will teach them a lesson."

"Yeah," Alice added. "Besides Jasper is going to figure a way out of it in a second anyway."

Just as she spoke his face suddenly lit up. I watched as he appeared to concentrate for a moment and then both women flushed with embarrassment. They got to their feet and started apologizing for their behavior and took off.

"Thank God. Jasper, you are a lifesaver." Emmett was up and headed out the door in case the women recovered and came back.

"What did he do, Alice?"

"He made them feel embarrassed. Their reaction was to get out of the situation to save face." Ah, nifty skill Jasper had. We left the restaurant and found the boys confronting Edward, who was wearing a huge smile.

"Dude, how could you do that to us, cougars?" Emmett gave Edward a shove that had him falling back a few feet.

"Hey, you told me to have a little fun, that's what I was doing!"

"Next time I'll just let you be your stick-in-the-mud self then. And you!" Emmett rounded on Rose. "How could you let that woman violate me like that?"

Rosalie just laughed at him. "I figured it was a good reminder of just how well have you it. Next time you think I'm being overly bitchy maybe you'll remember what you have."

Jasper raised his eyebrow at Alice and she shrugged. "I knew you'd get out of it and it was funny. Your face was priceless!" She made no apologies.

"Hey, what prank did you two pull anyway?"

Emmett looked confused for a second and then his face cleared. "Oh, we moved the cars."

"What do you mean you moved the cars?"

"We took all the cars in this lot and put them in the lot of the restaurant next door; moved those over here."

I looked at him in disbelief. "You hot-wired cars?"

Emmett looked at me pityingly. "No, Bella, we picked them up and moved them. Vampires, remember?" Like I could forget. Though I did occasionally forget just how strong they were; moving cars with their bare hands, for crying out loud.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Real subtle guys."

"More subtle than what you did!" Emmett protested.

Edward just grinned. "Let's hit the road shall we?" He grabbed my hand and led me to the car to lie down again. "When you wake up in the morning, we'll be home." Home. I couldn't wait to see it.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N Listing for the Cullen home can be found in my profile.

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 20

EPOV

The drive to New Hampshire had certainly been an eventful one. Where moving across country was nothing new to my family, traveling with a human was a novelty to us and it was surprisingly fun. Seeing Bella become more and more comfortable with them delighted me. Emmett already viewed her as a little sister; Alice, of course, loved Bella nearly as much as I did; Jasper was getting used to Bella and considered her part of the family while Rose…well Rose was slightly less hostile. Em and Jasper's hijinks had actually caused her to let her hair down a little and while she didn't exactly include Bella, she wasn't overly rude to her either. It was progress, not that we didn't have a lifetime to work on it anyway. I knew eventually she'd embrace Bella, if nothing else Rosalie was fiercely loyal to her family. Like it or not, Bella was part of that now.

I looked over at her, so peaceful in sleep, her head against the window and her gorgeous mouth slightly parted. I couldn't resist running my icy fingers over her smooth cheek. She sighed a little and leaned into me. There were many things I'd miss when Bella became one of us and watching her sleep was right near the top of the list. I had spent countless hours watching her sleep, both before and after she knew I was doing it. I chuckled as I thought back to that first night in her room, her restless sleep punctuated with occasional murmurs of my name. It was watching her dream about me that made me admit my love for her. I would never forget that moment, one of the most significant of my existence.

I hated to wake her but we were nearing our new home and I knew she was anxious to see it. "Bella, love, we're almost there." She groaned and fluttered her eyes, slowly taking in her surroundings. The sun was just coming up and there was a lovely muted glow illuminating the trees. Mountains were visible from both the Vermont and New Hampshire sides. It was gorgeous here and I knew Bella would appreciate it.

She gasped. "Edward, it's so beautiful! Look at the mountains!" I couldn't control the surge of happiness I felt at her reaction; this was going to be home for awhile, hopefully for a long time. I'd always loved this area and I was thrilled to return.

"I'm so glad you like it, sweetheart. We hunt in those mountains frequently; wildlife is plentiful, as are the forests. It's the perfect place for us." I turned off the main road and down another nearly hidden drive. We always selected out of the way property, though this time I'd say Esme had outdone herself. Two sides of the property abutted mountains, one side forest and the other side was wide open land. Bella's eyes widened when she took in the old farmhouse we'd purchased. It was built in 1840 but we'd renovated it and made it completely modern on the inside, with wood floors, granite countertops and stone fireplaces in every bedroom. Most importantly, it sat on over 200 acres of land. We had complete privacy, more than enough space and gorgeous views.

"Oh, look at the house! It's like a farm! Are we going to grow things?" I laughed at her excitement.

"Esme will no doubt plant a huge garden. I don't know that we'll try our hands at farming but I suppose if you want to we could plant something."

She giggled. "I can just picture Emmett in a pair of bib overalls tilling a field." I laughed at the mental picture that created; somehow it was a look that would work on him.

My siblings pulled up next to us and piled out of the Jeep. "I heard that, Bella!" Emmett opened the door and hauled her out of the car, twirling her around. "I'll get you a matching pair of overalls and a straw hat; we can get a tractor and tool around together." I joined in everybody's laughter although I inwardly shuddered at the thought of Bella and all the trouble she could get into around farm machinery. My morbid thoughts were interrupted by Esme and Carlisle coming out to greet us.

"Kids! You're here, finally! How was the trip?" Esme enveloped all of us in welcoming hugs, saving Bella for last and making her smile.

Bella rolled her eyes. "It was an experience."

"It was awesome!" Emmett corrected her, giving her a little hip check that sent her flying toward me. I caught her and gave him a glare. "Oops, sorry little sis! We had the best time, Esme, we have got to take road trips where we stop and interact with humans more."

Carlisle cleared his throat. "Do we even want to know?"

Emmett suddenly realized that Carlisle and Esme might not be as amused with our fun and games at the humans' expense as the rest of us were. "Uhh, it was just fun to stop and see the world and everything." _Dammit, me and my big mouth! Rosie's always warning me. Don't let him ask anymore!_

Carlisle just raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "Well, come in and check out the house, we've gotten everything organized and I think Esme has found us the best house yet." _Kids will be kids, I don't want to know what they did but I'm glad they had fun, everyone seems pretty happy, even Rosalie._

We all piled into the house. I'd seen pictures of course but they really didn't convey the sense of home that I felt the instant we walked into the building. Gleaming wood floors, a warm welcoming entrance, the formal dining room perfectly set as if waiting to serve a seven course meal, the living room that provided comfort and familiarity, our couches and Emmett's beloved TV in place and offset by the stone fireplace with a fire already crackling inside.

"Isn't it a little warm for a fire?" Bella whispered to me. I put my icy finger against her warm skin.

"Not for us, for obvious reasons." She shivered at my touch, whether from the coolness or from desire I couldn't tell. It had been three very long days with no alone time and I was more than ready to rectify that after we finished touring the house.

Carlisle led us to the master bedroom down on the first floor, his and Esme's haven from the rest of us. There were two more bedrooms on the first floor but they'd left them as guest rooms, though they told us we could claim the rooms if we wanted them. Upstairs were four more bedrooms; Alice and Jasper's room was at the far left end; Rose & Emmett's at the far right and two in-between.

"Is one of these ours?" Bella asked Esme.

She smiled softly at me and squeezed my hand. "I'll let you show Bella to your room." I didn't need any encouragement on that end. Without warning I scooped Bella up and raced down the stairs.

"Edward!" she laughed breathlessly. "Where are you taking me? I want to see our room!"

"I'm taking you to our room, love." I ran behind the house. "Close your eyes for me, Bella." She looked at me balefully but did as I asked.

I stopped and put her on her feet, facing the building that would be our home. "Okay, you can open them now."

She opened them and blinked, turned and looked behind us at the house and then in front of us at the second house. "What? It's like a miniature version of the house!"

"Yes, it's our wedding present from Esme and Carlisle. They're giving us our own place." It wasn't that far from the main house and they could still hear us from there, but at least it would give us some privacy.

"We…we're going to live on our own?" Didn't she like it?

"Yes, well, they'll only be a few steps away but…" I was abruptly cut off my Bella launching herself into my arms and pressing her lips to mine. All my worries at her reaction vanished as I lost myself in her sweet kiss. I scooped her back up and carried her toward the house without breaking the kiss until we were at the door. I opened it and led her inside.

The house really was a replica of the bigger one; we just had two bedrooms instead of seven and two bathrooms instead of four and a half. The kitchen was smaller but still fully functional. Instead of a dining room we had more of a breakfast nook and my piano was where the dining room was in the main house. Our living room was cozy, also with a blazing fire in the stone hearth. The sofa here was smaller but very comfortable; I could easily picture Bella curling up next to me with a book in front of the fire.

While Bella was oohing and ahhing over the house, I just wanted to find the bedroom. I made myself wait for her for two years but now that I'd had her, three days felt like eons. I carried her into the master bedroom and placed her at the foot of the bed, letting her take in the room. The big bed we'd had back in Forks was in place along the wall, facing out a sliding glass door that showed a beautiful mountain view. Our dresser was against the right wall, next to the rather large walk-in closet. Alice had little input into the house as long as she could design closet space. Two of the empty bedrooms in the main house were going to be used just as extra closets. She'd stuck her nose into our house's design as well and the closet was already filled with a ton of clothes, 75% of which Bella would probably never wear.

The black leather sofa resided along the left wall. Really, aside from the sliding glass door and the mountain view our room was very similar to the room we'd shared in Forks. I hoped that would be alright with Bella. "If you want to change anything…" She cut me off with her fingers this time, pressing them against my lips and shaking her head.

"No, Edward. This is home." I was relieved she felt that way. Even though we'd moved across the country and were starting a very different life together than the one we'd left behind, I'd wanted the reminder of our beginning, the bed I'd bought for her and the place where I'd proposed. I steered her back towards the bed and lowered my head to kiss her. She halted me with a hand a on my chest.

"I've been in the car for three days, Edward. I need a shower, badly. You always smell good no matter what; it's not the same for me." She was being ridiculous but I could understand why she'd feel that way.

"Hmm, you're right. _We_ should take a shower." Her eyes widened with surprise and then her face turned speculative. This was one thing we'd yet to do together and I'd had quite a bit of input on our bathroom. I couldn't wait to see what she thought.

"We, huh? Alright, Mr. Cullen, let's go clean up." I twined her fingers with my own and got two fluffy blue towels from the linen closet. I pushed open the bathroom door and let Bella step inside before me. She jerked to a stop and a "Wow" came out of her mouth. Even though I knew what to expect I had the same reaction myself. Marble white floors with navy speckles, a matching countertop with modern fountain his and her sinks, gilded mirrors, a huge navy blue Jacuzzi tub with matching marble tiles and a shower that could easily hold our entire family. Multiple shower heads that could rain down on us from all sides, stone walls, a bench to sit if we so desired and a heavy glass door that pulled open on either side. I turned on the spray and it rained down like waterfall, just the effect I'd requested when Esme was designing it.

Bella's face lit with wonder as she took everything in. "It's so beautiful." I unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders.

"Not nearly as beautiful as you are." She blushed and reached up to pull my polo shirt over my head. I slowly removed the rest of her clothes, savoring each new inch of skin as it was revealed to me. Bella didn't let me stand and admire her for long though, she hopped gracelessly into the shower and tilted her head back to absorb the spray. I watched as the water streamed over her gentle curves of her body, having to swallow back a pool of venom at the sight. I wanted her. Three days was far too long to go without being inside her. With that in mind I hurriedly undressed and climbed into the shower and wrapped my arms around her tiny waist.

I ran my lips across the graceful curve of her neck, down over her shoulder. I licked the water off her skin as I reached out and grabbed a loofah to run over that delectable flesh. I squirted some of Bella's favorite freesia body wash on it and ran it over her body, paying close attention to her breasts. She moaned and pressed back into me, allowing me access to every inch of her. After several passes over her center, I dropped all pretenses and discarded the loofah and pressed my fingers against her bundle of nerves. Bella's moans became louder as I worked her over.

She began to shake and shiver against me so I led her over to the bench and sat her down. Touching her was wonderful but tasting her was heaven and I needed to have her on my tongue. I crouched before her and ran my tongue along the length of her. Bella's head fell back against the stone wall and she pushed closer to my face, grabbing my hair and encouraging me to take all of her. I pressed my tongue firmly against her and flicked it back and forth increasing my speed as her moans got louder. I thrust two fingers into her warmth and continued moving my tongue against her. She tightened her grip on my hair and thrust against me as she tightened around me and came. I lapped up all of her juices and gave her a kiss, dragging my lips up her torso to her breast, sucking her nipple into my mouth and pressing it firmly between my lips.

Bella was too far away from me, though, so I picked her up and stood, pressing her against the stone wall. She gasped as the cold rocks pressed against her back, pushing herself against me and wrapping her legs around my waist. I was hard as a rock and aching to be inside her. I pressed against her wet heat and she yanked my mouth away from her breast. "Now, Edward. I want you now." I twitched at the command in her tone and pushed inside of her. I felt her tight walls clench against me as her heat scorched me. We'd only been physical for a few weeks but already our bodies knew one another, moving together as one. I held her gently, not pressing too hard against the wall for fear of injuring her. We kept a slow, steady rhythm, our tongues pressing together as our bodies did so. I felt the pressure building inside of me and I increased my pace. Bella moaned against my lips and met my thrusts with her own. I felt her start to tighten around me and I let myself go, both of us coming together.

"I love you, so damn much." I gave her a soft kiss as I pulled out of her and guided us both back under the water stream, washing the sweat from her body. I cleaned my Bella thoroughly, soaping her back up but not letting my hands wander even though I wanted her all over again. I opened her shampoo and squirted some into my hands, massaging it through her hair as she closed her eyes and got lost in the sensations. I rinsed the suds out and repeated the process with her conditioner. When that was done I reluctantly shut off the water, her skin was starting to prune from being in the water for so long. I toweled her completely dry and squeezed the excess water out of her hair as she wrapped the towel around her beautiful body.

"Edward, that was incredible." I dried myself off and grinned at her. "We really have to do that again."

"We will. Daily!" I had every intention of making love to her multiple times daily for as long as she'd let me. I smoothed her wet hair away from her face and just got lost in those gorgeous eyes of hers. "You are my entire world, do you know that?"

Bella's eyes filled with emotion. "As you are mine, Edward Cullen. I can't imagine life without you and I'm glad that I don't have to. I'm yours, forever." I waited for the usual wave of guilt that I felt whenever I thought about eternity with her to wash over me but this time it didn't. It was what she wanted and if I was honest with myself, it was what I wanted. I could not exist without her and I didn't have to.

"Forever." I peeled the towel from her body and picked her back up and carried her to our bed. "I want you again." I laid her back down and she opened her arms to me, welcoming me back into her body. I slipped inside of her and lost myself within her. We spent the rest of day christening our new home, making love in every room, ending the night in front of the crackling fire in the hearth, Bella sleeping in my arms as I watched the light flicker across her beautiful face. This place already felt like home, but I knew that any place with her would. Wherever she was, that would be my home.


	21. Chapter 21

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 21

**A/N** Happy New Moon weekend to you all. Have you been yet? I went yesterday and I was quite happy with it overall. I did a blog that you can link to from my profile if you're interested in talking about it with me there. I will be out of town for Thanksgiving so I don't think I'll post a chapter next weekend but I'll be back posting the Saturday the week after. Have a great holiday!

I'm doing something a little bit different with this chapter as it's a rather pivotal one in the story. I'm going to toggle back and forth between Bella's & Edward's viewpoints so you can what they're both thinking here.

BPOV

Waking up in Edward's arms was one of my favorite activities. I was wrapped up like a cocoon in the blankets and then further surrounded by his iron grip. My fingers crept out of the blanket of their own accord and found themselves buried in his hair. He smiled and leaned forward and kissed me, ignoring my morning breath. His, of course, tasted like honey and sunshine.

"Good morning, love." I smiled and nodded and attempted to work my way out of the covers, wanting to go to the bathroom and brush my teeth before actually speaking to him. He chuckled, knowing my morning routine very well, and helped me untangle myself. I pulled on Edward's blue polo shirt and bounded into our stunning bathroom and made myself more presentable. When I came back out Edward was propped against the headboard, his bare chest reflecting the morning sunlight. I smiled as I took in that sparkling beauty and threw myself back into his arms.

"Good morning to you!" He laughed and gave me a more thorough kiss that I could enjoy now that I was minty fresh. I decided I hadn't had enough of him yesterday and climbed into his lap, straddling him. Edward stilled my hands as I started to remove my shirt and I looked at him in confusion. "Don't you want me?"

He pushed my hair away from my face and caressed my cheek. "Of course I want you, love. I always want you. I just want to talk to you first." I started to pull away to sit next to him but he held onto my waist and kept me on his lap.

"What is it?" He looked serious and that made me inexplicably nervous.

Even though he couldn't read my mind, he could sense my emotions. "Nothing bad, Bella, I promise you." I stared into his golden eyes and saw the truth there matched the sincerity in his tone so I let myself relax. He smiled at my reaction and wound my fingers with his own. "I want to talk about your transformation." I started to tense again but then I remembered that he said it was nothing bad.

"What about it?" Surely he hadn't changed his mind, I had promised him a month in school and I didn't plan on reneging on that.

"I know I asked you for a month but…" I cut him off; no way was I going to commit to any more than that.

"Edward! You promised you'd change me if I gave college a month. You can't add more, I was giving you extra by agreeing to that. Our original deal was I marry you, remember?" I flashed my ring at him. "I held up my end of the bargain so you need to hold up yours!"

He watched my growing anger with a look of pure amusement on his face. "Are you done yet?" He cocked an eyebrow at me and I glowered back at him, trying to tug my hand from his grasp but of course that was a fruitless effort. I huffed and gave up.

"No." I actually felt my lip come out in a pout. He grinned at that and leaned forward and tugged my lip between his own. Trying to stay mad at him when he did that was pretty much impossible and I melted into him. He pulled back and put a finger on my lips.

"Now, as I was trying to say before I was so rudely interrupted." I opened my mouth to protest but he stopped me with that cocked eyebrow again. "Is that I've thought about it and I won't hold you to that extra month I got you to agree to. You're right; our original bargain has been more than fulfilled." My mouth dropped open but no words would come out. Was he serious?

"Wh…what?" I sputtered, that was as much as I could get out.

The smile left his face and his eyes pierced mine intently. "I mean it; I don't want to make you wait any longer. I don't want to wait any longer."

I know my expression was suspicious but I couldn't help it. "Since when don't you want to wait? Why don't you want to wait?"

He laughed. "Here I am giving you what you want and you question it. As always, you fascinate me."

I put my hand flat against his chest. "Don't change the subject, Edward. What made you change your mind?"

"Yesterday, right before we made love for the second time, when you said that you were mine forever, it just felt different."

"Different how?" I was thoroughly confused. Who was this imposter?

"Usually when we talk about forever, when I think about taking your life and making you like me, I feel guilty." I frowned at that revelation, not that it surprised me. "But yesterday, when you said forever, I actually felt good. I wanted it…I want it. With you. I can't live without you."

I felt my frown turning up into a smile but tried to bite that back. "But what made you feel that way now?"

He shrugged. "I don't know that I can say, exactly, it's been a long time coming but if you want me to pinpoint specific things, well, for one, when Emmett was joking about you and him on a tractor I couldn't help but worry about you getting hurt." I snorted but he was probably right, Bella + tractor = recipe for disaster.

"I don't want you to change me just because you fear my getting hurt though, Edward."

"That's not all, love, not by a long shot. Also, it was the road trip with our family; seeing you with us but separate at the same time. We had a great time, because of you, but I also noticed that you were left out of much of it, just the observer. I want you to be able to participate." I knew what he was saying, I'd loved being with the family but I did feel like an outsider much of the time. "You're one of us, Bella, and you belong. Never doubt that."

"I don't. You guys have all made me feel like part of the family." Well, except for Rosalie of course.

"And then, yesterday, here in this bed, you mentioned forever and it felt good, Bella. I didn't feel like a predator when I thought about changing you. I didn't feel selfish. I felt like we were both on the same page, finally. I know I've been hesitant but that wasn't because I didn't want to be with you for all of eternity. I just was afraid that taking your life was something you'd eventually hate me for."

I pressed both my hands and the one of his I held against his face. "Edward Cullen, you listen to me. I could _never_ hate you. I will never resent you for changing me. You're giving me exactly what I asked for. The fact that you hesitated, the fact that you're scared is what makes you so right for me. You put my needs over yours, always, but this time our needs are the same. I need to be with you forever. I'm the selfish one here, asking you to do something that upsets you."

"You couldn't be selfish if you tried, Bella. You're the most selfless person I've ever met. You'd do anything for the people you loved, including me. I know you want this for me but I always wondered if you really wanted it for you as well. You know what you're giving up."

It wasn't a question but I felt he needed to hear it again anyway. "I do, Edward. I am giving up a lot, more than I ever thought possible. But I also know what I'm gaining and it's so much more; endless love, family and friendship. That's all that I could ever truly want, an eternity with you."

He kissed me then, his cold lips burning against mine, one of those moments of unrestrained passion that I occasionally got from him. "It's what I want too, Bella. I'm ready to give it to you, to us." I laughed and pressed my lips to his again.

I pulled back and looked at his joyous face. Nothing was more beautiful than Edward when he was glowing with happiness. "When?"

I didn't have to clarify the question; he knew what I wanted to know. "Well I need to talk to Carlisle, plan it so I can make sure that you're completely safe." I nodded, that was a given, Carlisle was the only one who'd ever bitten a person without killing them. "I think Alice will want some time with you before you change; something about waxing." Now I was terrified, what did she want with me now? My panic must have shown on my face because Edward reached out to soothe me. "Relax, Bella, it's just that since you're change is premeditated she wants to have you properly groomed. Remember, you'll never be able to shave your legs or underarms when you're a vampire, our skin is too hard." Oh, well that made sense; I had to admit that never having to shave again would go under the perks of becoming a vampire.

"Alright, I'll let Alice have a Bella makeover day." I didn't need to have enhanced hearing to make out the shriek of joy coming from the main house. "They're listening to everything we say, aren't they?"

He laughed. "Of course. There's no such thing as privacy in this family, except in your silent mind." I wondered if my mind would remain silent to him after my change; I hoped so, I liked having my thoughts to myself. "I also need to have Alice check and recheck to make sure it's safe for you." Ahh, there was the cautious man that I knew and loved. "Your birthday is next week; do you want to do it before or after?"

I thought about that for a minute. It probably made the most sense to wait until after, Charlie and Renee would want to talk to me on my birthday, but the truth is I didn't want to wait any longer. I was sure of my choice. "Before. In fact, I'd like to be awake and aware by my birthday." I waited for some hesitation or fear to cross his face but I didn't see it.

"Okay, provided Carlisle and Alice are on board, how about we plan on three days from now?"

"For real?" I couldn't believe it.

I read the truth on his face. "Yes, Bella. You're ready and so am I. As long as it's safe, we'll do it. I am ready to start forever with you."

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my face to his neck. "I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I can't wait to show you just how much. Soon I won't have to hold back with you anymore." The thought of that thrilled me and I rocked against him, we were still aligned and both of us were ready. I pushed up a little and took him inside me.

"Show me now, as much as you can." He kissed me and showed me, moving inside of me with slow, sure strokes. We fell back into the bed and made love again, the resolution between us making us feel even closer, which I'd never thought possible.

EPOV

It was amazing how free I felt since Bella and I had our discussion about changing her. All the doubts, all the fears were gone. I was still nervous, no doubt that would not subside until she was safe and strong at my side. I knew getting through her change was going to be the most terrifying and painful time of my life but I knew it was right for us too.

While Bella went exploring Hanover with Alice, Emmett and Rose, I sought out Carlisle to discuss the upcoming transformation. Alice had reassured me again that I would maintain control and Bella would be just fine but I wanted to try to spare her some pain if I could. There had to be something we could do to help her through the change.

I found Carlisle in his new study, which was a replica of the one he'd had in Forks. We had left a lot of furniture behind but some pieces had made the move and it was clear that his entire office had made the cut. I wasn't surprised really; it was the place that he was most at home. He looked up with a smile when I entered.

"Edward, I expected you would want to talk to me. We heard the good news."

"I don't know if it's good news, but it's definitely news."

He gave me an indulgent look. "Our family will be truly complete. It is very good news and we could not be happier about it."

I couldn't mask my surprise. "I know you agreed to my doing this but I didn't think you were going to be happy about it. I'm still taking a human life and we've sworn…" He cut me off.

"Edward, yes, I am against taking a human life in most cases but in this case, the human in question is your mate. I would never deprive you of the love of your life. We've spent many years together and you've never been happier than when Bella came into your life. You're my son and I want your happiness above anything else." He humbled me, always. "I would feel that way even if Alice hadn't seen…"

"What? What did Alice see?" I couldn't stem the panic that those words brought to me.

"Son, everything's going to be fine. While you and Bella were…occupied, for lack of a better word," I smiled as I thought about what we'd been occupied with, "Alice had a vision." He didn't need to tell me what she'd seen, I saw in his mind that Aro was coming here to see if we'd kept our word and changed Bella.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "When?"

"Not for awhile yet, a couple of months at least, there was snow on the ground in her vision." I breathed a sigh of relief on that front. She'd be a newborn but hopefully she'd have some control. I knew Jasper would help us get through the visit.

"Did Alice see anything else?"

Carlisle looked confused. "Not that I know of, why?"

"I was just wondering if she saw what kind of power Bella was going to have?"

_Ahhh yes, what kind of power will she have indeed? I've been wondering about that for quite some time. My best guess is she's some kind of shield, best used as defense. Aro would love to have someone with that talent, although he already has Renata, still all shields are different. _"No, she hasn't seen that and she's tried. She can tell she has something but can't decipher what it is." Alright, well that hadn't changed anyway. I must admit that I was very curious about what my wife's silent mind would reveal once she was one of us. We'd all sat around and discussed it and of course Emmett and Jasper were taking bets. Jasper was on board with the shield theory while Emmett thought she'd have an offensive skill not unlike Jane of the Volturi. I imagined he just wanted to see her zap people.

"I guess time will tell on the power front, I'm sure Aro is curious about it though. He's never seen a human that was immune to our powers the way she is." It made me very nervous, Aro's interest in Bella. It was not entirely intrigue over what she might become that would bring him here. I'd have to try to rein in my temper, no doubt. My Bella had no idea the effect she had on men of all species and getting to hear their less than chaste thoughts of her was a trial. "I wanted to talk to you about her change, Carlisle."

"Yes, son, I know. Are you afraid you'll lose control? Alice doesn't see that happening but I imagine you're still nervous."

"Not really. I'm so used to her scent by now that I don't think it'll affect me too greatly. If I didn't kill her two years ago, when I had far less control, then I really don't think I will now."

"I agree completely. In all of my life I've never seen anybody with your level of control."

I snorted. "Please, Carlisle, what about you? You're around human blood daily."

He chuckled and laced his fingers together. "Yes, but I have a couple more centuries on me than you do. And, I've never met my singer. I'd like to think of I met him or her now I could resist, but two hundred years ago? I don't know if I would have had the strength. You not only had the strength to resist but you were able to love yours. I've never seen or heard anything like it."

I felt rather embarrassed at the obvious pride in his voice. "I wouldn't have resisted if it hadn't been for you and our family. If you hadn't taught me self control all those years ago, she wouldn't be here with me today. For that I will forever be grateful."

He absolutely glowed at my words. "I think maybe we can agree that we're all responsible for having Bella here with us today. And we're all glad of it." _I honestly thought Rosalie would be a little more accepting by now. Maybe after the change…_

"I hope so. I keep telling myself that once she considers Bella to truly be family she'll put this resentment for her choices aside."

"It's hard for her, Edward. Harder for her than the rest of us. It's hard to live a lifetime never getting what you truly wanted."

"I can relate. Before I found Bella I was a lot more like Rose than I like to admit."

"I know. It was hard for you, being alone for so long. You found your happiness, perhaps she will find hers as well. Emmett can only give her so much." That was hard for me to understand, with Bella being everything to me, but we all had different wants and Emmett couldn't give her what she wanted most.

"I suppose. I know I would do anything I could to give Bella what she wants."

He smiled indulgently. "You're what she wants, so that's pretty easy for you to give."

I laughed. "I know. I wish she wanted more; I'd like to give her the world."

"You are. You're giving her eternal life during which she can see the world and do anything she wants." That was a good point but I still felt inadequate and humbled.

"Maybe, but I still wish I had more to give."

"Son, you have forever, she'll come up with some things, of that I have no doubt! Now, you wanted to discuss the changing process, correct?"

"Yes, I know how it works of course, but I was wondering if there was anything we could do to make it easier on her?"

"As you know, I've considered morphine but there's just no knowing how it will work until we try it unfortunately. I've never done this with someone who wasn't dying before."

"I really want to spare her any pain that I can. The thought of her burning for three days is torture to me. Really that's the reason I've been resistant to changing her for so long."

"I know, son. I've made a few calls to try to see if anybody knows of anything that might help but I've come up blank. I'm the only vampire doctor out there and nobody else has cared enough to try to spare someone they changed."

I sighed. "I guess we'll just have to try the morphine or maybe some other method? Could we induce a coma? Maybe if she took something before I bit her…"

"No, we don't want to give her anything that might slow the spread of the venom. That will just make the change process longer." That thought horrified me, three days was already too much.

"Okay, morphine alone then. We'll just have to hope that it works."

"It won't." I started when I heard Jasper. I'd been too caught up in my discussion with Carlisle to hear his approach.

"What do you mean?"

"Alice said the morphine does nothing for Bella. She said all it will do will make her burn in silence. She doesn't admit that to you, of course, but Alice drags it out of her after she gets her alone."

"Dammit, why didn't she mention it before?"

"She just called, this is the first time you two have discussed and decided on anything."

"Oh." I didn't know what to say or do now.

"Really, the only thing the morphine would do would be lull you into a false sense that it helped her. Alice wanted to keep quiet for your sake but if I was in your position, I'd want to know."

"Yes, thanks, Jasper, I don't want to sit next to her blissfully ignorant of the pain she's in." Her screams would torment me but I almost needed them. If I felt the pain with her, I'd at least being paying some kind of penance for what I'd done to her. "I guess there's nothing we can do then." I felt terrible; I'd wanted so badly to come up with something that would make it easier on her.

"That's not true." What was he talking about?

"What do you mean, son?" Carlisle spoke up then. Like me, he was upset to know that the morphine would be pointless.

"Well it's true that there's nothing you can do, but there is something I can do." I saw what he was talking about and my jaw dropped open.

"You would do that?"

He looked at me calmly. "Yes, I would do what I could."

Carlisle was getting irritated by our cryptic talk. "What are you two talking about?"

Jasper glanced at him before looking back at me. "I can help her. I will try to take as much pain from her as I possibly can." I tried to contain my excitement at the idea, what he was talking about would cause him a great deal of stress and pain.

"Jasper, are you sure you could handle it?"

"Well, I would not be able to do it the whole time. I'd have to go away and feed because it would drain me. And obviously, I can't be around when you bite her or right after. I'd have to wait for the wounds to heal up so I wouldn't be tempted. Alice says I will be a great help though."

I didn't know what to say. The fact that he would consider doing that for Bella was beyond touching. I wanted to ask him why. "I can feel curiosity, Edward, if you want to know why, just ask."

I looked at Carlisle who was just as interested in the reason as I was. "Alright, why would you do it? You know what kind of pain we're talking about."

"All too well. Which is one of the reasons why, as a matter of fact. Bella is my sister now; I will never let anyone in my family be hurt if I can do something to alleviate it." This was the second time he'd referred to her as his sister and it continued to touch me. "I created hundreds of newborns in my time and I left each and every one of them to suffer through it alone. They meant less than nothing to me then…I guess I consider this atonement now." I could understand that, I was still tormented by the lives I'd taken, regardless of the people I'd saved while doing it.

There was more, though, I saw a flash of it in his mind. "Jasper, you know that…"

He cut me off. "I know, Edward, but that doesn't change how I feel about it."

Carlisle cut in, irritated again. "What else is there?"

"He still feels guilty for when she cut herself on her birthday."

"Jasper, son, that incident is long behind us and was nothing to be ashamed of. All of us were affected and…"

"I know exactly when it was, Carlisle, and I know exactly how much time we all suffered because of it."

"Jasper, I made it worse, I overreacted and threw her into the table. I'm the one who decided to leave, that was all on me."

"But I was the only one who went after her when she cut herself, Edward. Every single one of you handled it except for me. If I'd had control, it never would have happened, we never would have left." He'd been carrying that guilt for over a year now and never let any of us know it. I felt terrible.

"Jas, if we hadn't left, Bella and I might not be here together today. There's no knowing where we'd be right now."

"No, there isn't, but I do know that you both suffered terribly during the time you were apart. And you weren't the only ones; my Alice was nearly as bad off as you were. She held it together for me but I felt what she was going through, even if she wouldn't talk about it. I owe it to her and to you both to help out. I want to. Please." His voice was pleading with me and I could hear _I need to _echo in his thoughts. I wasn't going to say no to him helping Bella but I didn't like what it would do to him.

"I don't know what to say. A part of me is happy that her torment would be lessened but I hate what you'll go through."

"I've been through worse." Pictures of his time in the south flashed through his mind; attacking newborns, ripped body parts, fires…I shuddered along with him. "I have to do this, for all of us."

Carlisle walked around the desk and put a hand on Jasper's shoulder. "Alright, son, if you're sure you can handle it."

"I can. I'll hunt while Edward changes her and come back an hour or so after. I don't know how long I can sit with her at any given time but I'll go until I can't stand it anymore, leave and then come back when I can handle it again." He seemed sure of himself.

"Jasper, I don't even know how to tell you thank you. There aren't enough words out there." I brought a hand forward and he grasped it in his own, then I pulled him in and gave him a hug, grateful beyond words and hoping my actions would let him know just how much comfort he'd brought me.

He squeezed me back. "There's nothing to thank me for, really. You'd do it for me if the situation was reversed, any of us would. That's what makes us a family. I might have taken longer to come around to it than the rest of you but you are all my family." His quiet conviction made any misgivings I had fade away.

"I guess we have a plan then. Thank you, Jasper, I'll never forget this."

He pushed me away and grinned at me. "Well naturally you won't, beauty of being a vampire you know." We all laughed at that. "You've helped me plenty of times when I was tempted to take someone's life. I couldn't have lived with myself if I'd slipped and it would have hurt Alice, which would be even worse for me. So, honestly, we're more than even."

"I was just…"

"You were just doing the right thing. So am I." He was right.

"You're the best, Jas."

He laughed. "I know." I threw the couch pillow at him and he caught it with a grin. "Just telling it like it is, bro," he said in a perfect Emmett imitation. "I think we're all getting a little too emotional for my taste. Who wants to hunt?" I popped up and headed to the door, Jasper and Carlisle hot on my heels.

BPOV

The last couple days of my human life had been a whirlwind of activity. My family had taken it upon themselves to make sure that I experienced all my favorite things one more time before my change. Emmett made it his mission in life to secure all of my favorite meals. I felt like a criminal on death row getting their last meal as he piled plates of food in front of me. I jokingly asked him if he was trying to make me fat so he'd have something new to laugh at me for since I wouldn't be blushing or tripping anymore; he was not amused.

Alice, of course, took me shopping as it would be awhile before I'd be able to do that activity. See? Another reason becoming a vampire was the right choice for me! Jasper took me to the Dartmouth College Library and we both got lost in books for hours. Esme took me to a gardening store and we spent time selecting flowers and herbs to plant together at the house. It was wonderful spending time with them one on one, there wasn't much opportunity for that before.

Of course, I longed for solitude when Alice dragged me to the spa. "Now, Bella, this is the last chance you'll have to primp properly."

"Alice, I never cared about primping properly! I thought these last few days were supposed to be mine!"

"You agreed to Bella's Day of Beauty!"

"That was in a moment of weakness. I'm over it now."

"If you're not going to do it for the fun of it, do it for the practicality."

"What do you mean?" The word practicality being spoken by Alice sounded quite foreign.

"I mean, the rest of us girls didn't have the option to shave and have the perfect haircut and manicure when we were changed. You get to be smooth and fabulous going in." Oh, well that made sense. Another bonus, never having to shave again.

"Okay but can't I just shave at home and be done with it?"

"Waxing is more efficient, you won't miss any spots and you won't have any growth before tomorrow either."

"Waxing? Did you say waxing? No way, Alice! That's going to hurt." I tried to push past her as she guided me toward the front door but that was a fruitless effort. Her firm grasp held me in place; I was like a five year old struggling against a 250 pound man. Sighing I gave up the idea of running, I'd just fall anyway. "Look, Alice, you know that this is dangerous. I'll probably get burned, then I'll fall and spill more wax on myself, getting burned some more. Then I'll trip trying to run and break my leg."

"Did you forget who you're talking to? None of that is going to happen." Stupid all-seeing sister. "Now come on, imagine Edward's reaction when he feels your silky skin." That made me feel marginally better. "We'll start with the manicure and pedicure, that'll give you some time to get used to the idea."

I supposed I could handle that, so I let her lead me into the opulent spa. I briefly wondered what this was going to cost but I knew better than to question it. Alice gave my name to the lady at the front desk who smiled coolly and directed me to the pedicure area. Alice busied herself selecting the perfect color for me while I slipped my feet into the tub. Now that felt incredible. I closed my eyes and let myself drift as I felt the nail technician get to work. Sometimes being girly was not such a bad thing, not that I was going to admit that to Alice. A glance at her face showed she knew what I was feeling anyway, she looked rather smug. I bit back a groan as my feet and calves were massaged. Alice aimed some kind of remote control looking device at me and all of a sudden my chair started vibrating and messaging me. Why exactly had I been avoiding places like this?

"How are you doing, Bella?"

"Just great, Alice, how about you?" She pouted, presumably over the fact that she really couldn't participate in the process. Her face brightened after a minute though.

"I'm ordering four of these chairs, no reason why we can't bring some of the spa experience home, is there? We don't need two guest rooms."

I laughed but liked the idea of an in-home spa. "I don't think you'd get a lot of complaint over that one." Alice started quizzing the owner on where they acquired the chairs while I zoned out. Thirty minutes later my toes were a soft pink color and I was led to another table where they repeated the process on my hands. I loved the massage. I planned on having Edward give me one nightly once he didn't have to worry about hurting me anymore.

"So what's next Alice?" She was grinning down at her cell phone, having received a text.

"Hair," she answered absently.

"What's going on?"

She smiled at me brightly. "It seems your husband wants to take you for a night on the town after you're all primped and pampered." One last date while I was human? I smiled at his thoughtfulness. "After we're done here we've got to pick you out a dress." My smile fell away. "Oh come on, Bella, it won't be that bad, I already know just what to get."

"So why don't you go get it while I get my hair done? It's not like you'll let me have any say, anyway." She glowered at me for a minute but then shrugged.

"I suppose that's easier. Just get your hair trimmed, no major change unless you really want it, remember, you'll have to live with it forever." I cringed at the thought of cutting my hair short. A trim would be fine.

Alice took off and I got my hair washed and cut, just cleaning up the split ends. Before Alice was back I was led over to a secluded room for my waxing. I couldn't believe she wasn't here to hold my hand through the process. Knowing her, though, she was staying away on purpose. I broke out in a cold sweat as I took in the room, the table looked entirely too much like the examining table at the doctor's office for my liking. There was a casserole type dish that had some steaming hot substance heating, bringing to mind a witch's brew from some old cartoons I used to watch on Saturday mornings. The overly cheery music was no doubt meant to sooth the unwitting victim but it wasn't going to work on me.

I jumped when a perky voice appeared behind me. "Hi, I'm Becky and I'm here to wax you. It says we're doing legs, underarms and bikini area." Bikini area? Did that mean what I think it meant? Who was this sadist, ready to torture me with a happy smile? Was she on loan from Guantanamo Bay?

I opened my mouth to inform Battleaxe Becky that I would be leaving but before I could say a word Alice whirled into the room. "Yes, that's right." Becky nodded and went to get set up. I watched suspiciously as she cut a bunch of strips from some cloth, wondering if she was going use them to bind me to the bed. She'd need them to keep me there if she was going to try to touch me anywhere that only my husband's hands had roamed.

"Alice," I hissed at her. "What does she mean by bikini?"

"Your legs, Bella, basically any area that would not be covered by a swimsuit."

I sighed, but at least it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. "So she's not going to, you know, take any hair from down there?"

Alice started laughing hysterically. "Bella," she choked between laughs. "Do you honestly think I'd ask you to do something like that? So not your style!" Humph, I didn't know whether to be offended by that comment or be glad she knew me so well. Before I could respond, Becky came over and told me to lose my clothes and put on this short spa robe. I did as I was bade and watched in trepidation as she slathered some sticky, honey-like substance on my legs. Alice moved over and held on to my hand. "It'll be alright, Bella."

Alright? Holy crap but that hurt. I bit my lip to keep from screaming as the first strip was cast aside, but a gasp of pain did escape me. Alice squeezed my hand tighter and whispered, "I hate to say this to you, Bella, but this pain is nothing compared to what you're willingly going to endure tomorrow. If you really can't handle it…" I glared at her as the strips continued to come off.

"I can handle it, Alice." And I did. I sat silently as Becky the Torturer ripped out hair after hair. I was going to show Alice and my entire family that I was strong enough to handle becoming a vampire. Alice watched me with a look of pride on her pretty face.

"I knew you could do it, Bella, you're stronger than you know." I nodded, not trusting myself to speak yet. I got up and hopped in a shower to remove the sticky substance and clean up. I put back on my jeans and blue t-shirt, the denim rubbing against my sensitive skin made me a little uncomfortable but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I was slapped down into another chair and endured a facial and makeup application. Alice added that to the itinerary after Edward texted her about the date. An hour later I was done to Alice's satisfaction and we headed out into the already cooling air. I had a feeling winter was going to be extremely cold, not that it would matter to me once I changed.

We strolled past a boutique that advertised piercing and I stopped and looked at Alice. "Alice, can vampires have pierced ears?" Her eyes got glassy as she went into a vision. When they cleared, she smiled at me.

"Yes, as long as you're wearing the earrings when you change. Are you sure you want to do it?" The doubt in her voice was enough to propel me into the store.

"Hello ladies, may I help you?" A forty-something lady with light brown hair and blue eyes smiled over at us.

"Yes, I'd like to see about getting my ears pierced." She led me over to a little glass case and showed me her starter earrings.

"We start with little gold studs, generally. You wear them for 6 weeks before taking them out and then you can change them." I picked out a pair of pretty gold studs and sat at a chair while she marked my ears. Alice, meanwhile, was accumulating piles of earrings, thrilled to have something new to shop for.

"Bella, look at these hoops! They'll look so pretty with your hair pulled back! Awww, butterflies! And little flowers. We have to have these." I was so busy watching her that I didn't even notice the lady lining up the gun and shooting my ear. I felt a quick pinch and a flash of heat but it was really over before I processed it. Then she did the other ear just as quickly. I breathed a sigh of relief that the process was so simple.

"What are these?" Alice asked the saleslady, looking at some really cute but strangely shaped earrings.

"Bellybutton rings." I laughed nervously and started to tug her away from those when I saw one that had a dangling music note with a pretty blue sapphire above it. It was adorable. Before I could stop myself, I asked if they did that piercing here as well. "Oh yes, dear, we do." Alice was staring at me, her eyes so wide I was afraid they might pop out of her head. Suddenly she squealed.

"You're going to do it! You're going to get a bellybutton ring! Edward will die! Well, not die but you know what I mean." I did know what she meant but I wanted more detail.

"Can you give us a minute?" The sales lady took the pile of earrings Alice had selected and walked them over to the cash register. "What do you see?"

She grinned. "I see a very excited brother. More excited than I care to see him, honestly, but I figured you'd be happy to hear it." I was and it decided me.

"I'd like to get that music note belly button ring and be pierced."

"Great, dear." She led me to chair in the back room and had me unbutton my jeans. I held Alice's hand tightly again and wondered at what kind of insanity I was subjecting myself to in the next 24 hours. Waxing, piercing and becoming a vampire. I'm pretty sure nobody else ever had that combination to deal with. I felt a stinging pain in my belly but kept my eyes tightly closed. I heard a little click and was all done. I opened my eyes and smiled down at the music note dangling down my belly. It was really cute.

"Bella, it's adorable!" Alice hugged me and ran back to the spot where I'd picked out the bellybutton ring. "We need the butterfly, the peace symbol, the guitar…" She broke off and giggled. "The key, the handcuffs, the star in red, the three hearts and that pretty squiggly one." The sales lady could not contain her smiles as she gathered all the purchases. I tried to protest but Alice cut me off. "I don't get to buy this kind of stuff every day, you WILL indulge me." I nodded ruefully; there was no point in protesting. She paid for our purchases and led me outside.

"Alice, can you do me a favor?"

"Of course!" Sincerity rang in her tone.

"Can you not think about the bellybutton ring around Edward? I want to surprise him."

She gave me a wicked grin. "I won't give it a thought until after you're gone. Then I will be showing Esme and Rose every little piece we bought today. They're going to love it!" She paused a second and laughed. "I think Emmett & Jasper are going to react rather interestingly as well." I didn't really want an explanation of that one, it frightened me. She took me back to the car and we went home to prepare for my date with my husband.

* * *

I've decided to do some recommendations. I have 3 long pages of them at my blog but I'll pick one a week here to send your way. Have you read Elemental by TallulahBelle? Her fic thoroughly owns me, check it out if you're not already!


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: Bella's dress in this chapter can be found on my profile. It's because of eboyd5 for this chapter getting published on schedule instead of taking a break over the holiday weekend. Begging works every time, at least on me! I hope those that celebrated had a Happy Thanksgiving.

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 22

EPOV

I sated myself on my hunt with Jasper and Carlisle, overdoing it really. I wanted to make sure I wasn't remotely hungry tomorrow when I tasted Bella's blood. I was confident in my ability to control myself at this point but I didn't need to chance anything either. I felt almost uncomfortably full but it would be worth it to minimize the risk to my wife.

I wondered how my Bella was doing on her spa day with Alice. I knew it was akin to torture for her so I decided to make up for that by taking her out on the town. We should experience Hanover while we could, it would be awhile before Bella could venture out again after her change. I found an Italian restaurant called The Prince & The Pauper that promised fine dining and a romantic atmosphere. It made me think of our first date, the night I saved her in Port Angeles. I guess it wasn't really a date, because I didn't ask her out but I did pay. Plus it was the night that she revealed that she knew I was a vampire and that it didn't bother her. Two years later and that still floored me, her casual acceptance of me. Bella was one of a kind and she was mine. I wanted to show her how much I appreciated her.

Next I found a club called Cabaret that catered to the ballroom dancing crowd. Bella had grown to like dancing with me and I wanted to hold her in my arms and twirl her around the dance floor tonight. I asked Alice to help her find a pretty dress to wear, something that would swirl around her as we moved together. I couldn't wait to have her pressed against me, her little hands wound into my hair and her head resting on my chest. I wanted tonight to be beautiful and memorable for her.

I heard Alice from a couple of miles away and strangely enough I felt Bella's presence near me. I always felt somewhat bereft when she wasn't around. _Edward, we're back. I'm taking Bella to the main house to finish getting ready; all she has to do is get dressed. You can pick her up when you're ready, wear the gray tie. _I darted into the bedroom and pulled out a black suit, white shirt and the tie Alice had ordered. I assumed she'd gotten Bella a gray dress and wanted me to match her. I smiled to myself and attempted to tame my hair briefly before shrugging and leaving it to its usual state of disarray. I knew better by now.

I detoured away from the main house to the rose bushes Esme had already planted, plucking a perfect red rose to present to my bride. I felt a spurt of satisfaction whenever I thought of her as my wife or bride; I really was the ridiculously glowing newlywed.

Rather than bursting through the door, I knocked as if I were picking up Bella at her father's house. Emmett opened the door wearing a huge grin, looking me up and down. "Where do you plan on taking my sister? When will she be home? I trust you won't take any liberties, I'd hate to have to mess up that pretty face of yours!" I laughed at his portrayal of the overprotective big brother; it was hard to buy when he wore a big smile.

"A scowl would have been a better way to intimidate me, were I afraid of you, Em." He punched my arm and moved aside to let me in.

"They'll be down in a second, Alice is insisting upon taking pictures to document the Bella's final night as a human." _How strange it must be, knowing that death and new life is so imminent. Knowing it's coming…there's a certain freedom in that I suppose. I knew I was dying when Rosie found me and I made peace with that. I wonder if it's like that for Bella._

"I suppose it is. She hasn't shown a hint of nervousness about her decision."

"And you? Are you scared?"

"Not exactly. I worry if it's the right thing for her, if someday, years from now, she'll regret the choice she made."

Emmett laughed. "Not an issue, bro, I'm certain of that. Little sis is going to love her new life. We'll all see to it."

"I don't doubt we'll try, but…"

"Oh don't turn into Morose Masen. It's going to be fantastic! I can't wait to teach her to hunt. Wait, you're letting me come along the first time, aren't you?" His tone became pleading. "I have to be there, bro. I have to see the girl that hates blood get her first taste!"

Morose Masen? He hadn't called me that in a few years, sometime pre-Bella. He used to whip that out whenever I got too moody, along with Sullen Cullen. "Yes, I want you and Jasper to come with us at the very least, in case there's any kind of issue."

Relief washed over him. "Good! I can't wait; I hope we find a bear! Bella versus the bear, it'll be awesome!" And he was away, mentally picturing Bella wrestling with a raging grizzly. I cringed at the image, I couldn't help myself. I knew she'd be more than capable of handling herself but it went against my natural protective instincts. Thankfully I heard Alice and Bella moving toward the stairs and I yanked myself away from that mental image. I didn't need to picture that on our romantic evening together.

Bella was a vision in a light gray dress, bunched together in knot at the collar and skimming down her lovely curves. It was a conservative dress that still flattered her. She took my breath away. I noticed that she wasn't wearing any shoes but before I had time to wonder about that for too long she was before me, throwing herself into my arms. I squeezed her gently and closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation of her scent washing over me. The material of her dress was the softest cashmere, perfectly suited to her silky skin. I had to pull back before the scent and feel of her made me curtail the evening.

"Bella, you look incredible." It was an understatement, really. Her hair, always shiny and beautiful, had an extra sheen from her spa visit. Though she needed no makeup, the light amount she had enhanced her natural beauty. More than the physical, though, it was the happiness radiating out of her that made her so glorious. A glint at her ear caught my eye and I reached out to push her hair back. "You got your ears pierced?" It surprised me, Bella was not into jewelry. Getting her to accept the diamond heart charm and her ring had been a trial.

She blushed prettily. "Yes, I actually wanted to get them pierced for years but I was afraid it would hurt. I figured it was now or never so…"

"They look great on you." The gold was a nice complement to her mahogany hair. "Are you ready to go, my love?" She nodded and Alice came forward with a light black trench coat and some gray heels. Ahh, that's why she wasn't wearing shoes upstairs, fear of falling. I placed Bella's coat on her, lifting her hair and placing a kiss on the back of her neck as I slid it on. She shivered against my lips. I laced my fingers through hers and guided her toward the front door. We were halted when Emmett appeared in front of us.

"I expect you'll have her home at a decent hour?" Bella giggled at his fatherly tone, having missed his earlier interrogation of me.

I effected the bored expression of today's youth. "Whatever, old man, she'll be home when we're done." I wagged an eyebrow at him, implying that tonight's activities would not be parentally approved.

"I don't like your attitude, young man." I barked out a laugh at that one, seeing as I was a couple decades older than him. "I don't think I'm going to let you escort my sister tonight or any other night."

Bella put on the most pathetic look I'd ever seen. "Please, Emmett, please let me go out with him. He'll be good, I promise!"

"You can count on that," I stage whispered into her ear. The blush returned, full force.

Emmett's stern countenance started to crack and then he laughed, unable to keep up his charade any longer. "You two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Bella surprised us all with her comment. "That leaves us a lot of leeway, from what I've heard about you two. Plus, you're a little late; I've already taken his virtue! Let's go, Edward!" I shot him a triumphant grin and we went out the door, to the Astin Martin. She looked at the car and then back at me with a question in her eyes.

"A special night calls for a special vehicle, don't you think?" I opened the door and helped her inside, admiring the way her dress hiked up a bit higher above her knee. We drove to the restaurant, Bella telling me of Alice's joy in getting to purchase her piles of earrings. "Well it's something she's never shopped for before. I imagine she's only getting started. She's probably on the internet right now buying more." Bella groaned. "I rather like it, now I have something new I can get you as well. " I ran a finger over her earlobe. "Did it hurt?"

"No, not really, she shot the first one through my ear before I really knew it was happening." I have to admit I was glad I wasn't there to see some gun-like thing aimed at my wife.

We arrived at the restaurant and I helped Bella from the car, keeping her little hand in mine as the maître d greeted us at the door. We were led quickly to our table, in a secluded corner lit by a candle. The atmosphere was as romantic as I'd been promised, soft Italian music adding to the setting. He tried to seat Bella across from me but I stopped him and indicated I wanted her next to me. Looking at her from across the table would not be enough; I wanted to hold her hand and play with hair and kiss her.

She smiled at me as I twirled one of her curls around my pointer finger. "You're awfully affectionate tonight, Mr. Cullen."

"I'm a newlywed, Mrs. Cullen; it's natural for me to be that way."

"Oh? Does that mean in a year or so you won't feel the need to shower me with love anymore?" Her lip poked out in the most adorable pout I'd ever seen. I leaned forward and captured it in my own.

"I will be just as an affectionate in a year, in a decade, in a century, in a millennium, my love. That's a promise." Her eyes twinkled at me.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

The waiter came to take our order, Bella selected the lasagna and I smirked at her and chose mushroom ravioli. A smile ghosted across her face as she remembered that order.

"Hungry, Edward?"

I began to play with her fingers and looked up at her through lowered lashes. I knew the effect that had on her. "Not for food." Sure enough she gasped and her heart started to pound. Her scent, my torment and my salvation, became even more intoxicating as the blood pumped harder through her veins. I swallowed the venom that began to pool in my mouth and gave her the half grin she loved. "Actually, this girl I went out with once ordered mushroom ravioli. She seemed to like it."

She answered my smile with her own. "Did she like the food or the company?"

"Both I think." My fingers landed on her wrist, feeling the blood pulsing beneath her thin layer of skin.

"You know, it's rather bad form to talk about another girl when you're out on a date, with your wife no less."

I chuckled and ran my hand up her arm to cup her cheek. "Not when it's the same girl, the only girl." Her breath hitched and she kissed me. _Aren't they sweet? So young and in love. Reminds me of when I was courting my Amelia. _The waiter's thoughts pulled me back to reality, as I was quickly becoming lost in Bella. I pulled back and made a mental note to give her more nights like this. They'd be different, of course, but I could still treat her like the angel she was to me.

He gave us our drinks, cokes, just like old times, and placed some steaming sourdough bread before us. I wrinkled my nose as he walked away but grabbed a slice and buttered it for Bella, not wanting her to burn herself.

"Thank you." She bit into the bread and closed her eyes, letting out a little moan that got me to thinking about my hunger again. I dutifully swallowed down the venom and tried to think about something other than Bella's lips and her soft skin. "Edward, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, love."

"What are you going to miss most, after I change?" To say I was surprised at that question would be an understatement.

"Bella, you know that you're going to be basically the same person you are now, right? I'm going to love you just as much then as I do now and…"

"Oh, I know that, Edward. I'm not worried about that." It made me happy to hear her say that, it had taken me far too long to convince her of my love. "I just was wondering what you'd miss? My smell?"

I laughed. "You'll still smell the same; I just won't have the urge to attack you."

She put her fingers on my lips. "Edward, really, I want to know."

I sighed. I didn't really want to tell her all the things I'd miss; I didn't want her to feel bad. But she'd asked and I couldn't resist her anything, I'd just edit a little. I didn't want to tell her I'd miss her warmth, it'd make her feel self conscious. I could give her some though. I kissed her fingertips and pulled back a little to answer her. "I'll miss watching you sleep, seeing and hearing you dream."

She giggled. "And the sleep talking no doubt."

I smiled. "Well I must admit, it was rather intoxicating hearing you say my name in your sleep."

"I still can't believe you watched me for months."

"I still can't believe you didn't run away screaming when you found that out."

She shrugged. "I would have done the same if our positions were reversed." I laughed at that image, me the sleeping human and Bella the obsessed vampire. Our meals were placed before us and we were blessedly alone again, in that little bubble where it was just Bella and me. I speared the ravioli and held it out to her, watching in fascination as it disappeared between her pretty pink lips.

"I'll miss the softness of your skin; my fingers won't sink into your flesh anymore when I touch you. You'll be silk over steel. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled you won't be breakable anymore, but I'll still miss the pliability." I wasn't sure how she was reacting to what I said; she seemed perfectly calm as she ate her lasagna and my ravioli.

"Is that all?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. The thing I'd miss the most, the thing I would be taking from her in just hours now. "Your heartbeat." Her eyes watched me steadily, silently asking me to continue. "It's the most important sound in the world to me. I could pick you out from miles away. For so long, as long as your heart was beating, everything was alright for me. A world without it wasn't something I couldn't fathom."

"And can you now?"

"Well, yes, it'll take some getting used to but as long as I have you…"

"Don't you know, Edward?"

"Know what?"

"My heart, even when you can't hear it beating anymore, will still be beating for you. It always has. When you were gone…" I moved to speak but she silenced me by putting her fingers to my lips again. "When you were gone, my heart physically continued to pump but I wasn't alive. Soon it won't beat but I will be more alive than ever because I'm with you." She humbled me, as usual. "My heart is yours, always."

I kissed those fingers that had silenced me. "As mine is yours, Bella love. And let me assure you, that even though I'll miss certain things about you, I'll gain so much more. I'd give up anything to have forever with you." She grinned and lifted her fork toward her mouth again and I watched as a noodle fell toward her gorgeous dress. I caught it before it could splatter her with red sauce. "One thing I certainly won't miss is watching you eat." She tried to frown at me but it dissolved into laughter.

"Me either, honestly. It'll be nice not to be a mess all the time." I didn't have the heart to tell her it'd probably be awhile before that was true, newborns tended to be rather messy eaters. She pushed her plate away and turned to me again. "I'm stuffed. What's next?"

"Dancing." Her little mouth turned down in a grimace. "I thought you liked dancing with me."

"I do, but these shoes! Death traps!" She put her little foot out and I admired the way the shoes accented her slim legs.

"I won't let you fall." I kissed her hand, paid the bill and took her back to the car. We arrived at the club and I used the valet services, to ensure that Bella hadn't far to walk. We strolled into the club and it was almost as if I'd been transported in time, back to the early 1900's. Elegant crystal chandeliers dangled from the ceiling, lighting up the hardwood floors. A big band group was performing on the stage, playing songs from my era. Bella turned to me with a grin.

"This must bring back some memories." It did. Too many to think about. I didn't remember much from before I was turned but after I got past the newborn phase and learned to function in society, I came to clubs like this one, just an observer, never participating. I looked over at my luminous wife and felt a wave of pure happiness wash over me. I no longer watched from the sidelines, thanks to my Bella. She'd truly given me life. It was with that thought that I whirled her out onto the floor, both of us laughing.

Bella's long hair flowed with each twirl. We were by far the youngest people there and I noticed that pretty much everyone there was watching us. _They look like they've been dancing together for decades but they can't be much more than teenagers. What a stunning young couple. _Some of the thoughts were enough to wipe the smile off my face if I was to let them, but nothing was going to ruin this night. _Look how flexible she is, I'd like to see her bent over…_Okay, I wasn't overlooking that one. I glowered at the 40-something pervert that was eyeing my wife. _Damn it's almost like he heard what I was thinking. Well you can't fault a guy for his thoughts. _I could. _Hmm, I'd like to lick his…_Good Lord, what was with people?

Bella reached up and tugged on my hair. "Edward, is everything alright?"

I yanked myself out of the thoughts of others and focused on the beautiful woman in my arms. "Sorry, love, I got distracted."

She gave me a knowing look. "Everyone is staring at us."

"They're all admiring what they see." I grimaced. "Some more than others."

She giggled. "Well I can't blame them for admiring you; I ogle you daily."

"I know. I notice when I ogle you right back." She blushed and put her head on my shoulder. Instead of doing the dances the music called to mind, I just swayed with her pressed close against me.

I buried my nose in her hair and inhaled her sweet scent, closing my eyes and giving myself over entirely to Bella and the music. I paid no attention to how long we danced or even what was playing. Eventually though, I yearned to be alone with her.

"Are you ready to go home, love?" She nodded and stood on tiptoe to press her lips to mine.

"More than ready." I raised an eyebrow at her and her blush let me know that her thoughts mirrored my own. I rushed us out into the cooling night, placing Bella's coat back on her and nearly throwing money at the valet when he pulled up in the Aston. I ushered her into the car and drove home at a speed that normally would make her cringe. I saw her eyeing the speedometer but she didn't say anything, apparently as anxious as I was to be home.

I pulled up in front of our little house and was at her door before she could even unbuckle her seatbelt. I helped her from the car and then swept her up into my arms. "Edward, it's not our wedding night!" She reached up and ran her fingers through my hair, pulling me down to kiss her.

"We're still newlyweds." I opened the door and carried her into our bedroom, placing her gently on her feet.

"Why do I get the feeling you'll still be carrying me around decades from now?"

"Because you know me so well?" I ran my hands up her arms, reaching behind her to unclasp the little pearl buttons at the top of her dress. I stepped behind her and kissed the hint of flesh that was now exposed to me. Bella's head fell back, her hair mixing with mine. I ran my tongue over the spots that I kissed and she shivered against me. Her responsiveness never failed to floor me, her needs ignited my own.

I slowly drew her dress up her body, revealing her beautiful back inch by inch. She was wearing some lacy thong underwear that made my breath hitch in surprise. I moved the dress higher to reveal a bra in that same black lace. Bella raised her arms and allowed me to remove her dress completely, her hair falling down like a waterfall as I pulled it away from her. I quickly removed her bra and tossed it over the chair in the corner and put my lips back on her, dragging them across her shoulders and nipping at the nape of her neck. My hands fell to her waist and I pulled her against me, feeling her heat through my clothes. Little mewl s of pleasure escaped her lips as I kissed every bit of her shoulders and neck.

Her back was so elegant and graceful looking, the line of her spine a perfect curve that begged to be touched and tasted. So I dragged my lips down her back, tracing her spinal column with my tongue, watching in fascination as goose bumps followed my tongue in the trail down her back. "Edward," her voice was the softest whisper, filled with desire. Venom welled up at the sexy tone of her voice. "Please."

"Please what, baby?" I worked my way up her back, placing kisses on her shoulder blades and sucking on them gently before returning to her neck, brushing her hair to the side as I kissed up behind her ear.

"Touch me."

I smiled against her skin and whispered in her ear, blowing my cool breath against her delicate lobe. "I am touching you." I sucked her lobe into my mouth and she moaned, tilting her head back in complete surrender to me. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I took her lips then, sucking her lower lip between my own. My hands traced their way up her torso, stopping on the gentle swells of her breasts as I squeezed gently. She reached behind her and tangled her hand in my hair, tugging gently to pull me around to her front. I went willingly, more than ready to lavish a little attention on her beautiful breasts.

I dragged my eyes away from the look of wild abandon on her face and focused on her lovely body, the gentle slope of her breasts, the flat belly, the…what was that? I pulled my lips away from hers and got down on my knees to figure out if I was really seeing what I thought I was seeing. Was that a bellybutton ring?

I slowly reached forward with my right pointer finger, grasping the delicate piece of jewelry in my hand. "Bella?"

Her hands rested on my shoulders and she smiled down at me. "Yes, Edward?"

"This is…did you?" I couldn't even form coherent words. One look at that little music note dangling from her sexy little bellybutton and I felt like a man possessed. I yearned to throw her down on the bed and take her without preamble but I knew I couldn't do that, yet. Fascinated, I pushed the little note around on her belly, watching it sparkle against her pale skin.

"Do you like it?" Like it? I loved it. I wanted to spend hours, no days, playing with it. I wanted to tell her that but all I could manage was a grunt and a nod. She laughed lightly as I leaned forward and kissed it reverently. It was like a little treasure, all my own. I kissed her bellybutton and slipped my tongue in there, tasting the gold mixed with the flavor that was pure Bella. Her laughter died into a moan as she tightened her grip on my shoulders.

"So sexy." There, finally I could talk. "What…why…what made you do it?"

"When I got my ears pierced I was looking at the rest of the jewelry and I saw the music note. It made me think of you and then I asked about it and she told me what it was and that they pierced bellybuttons there and the next thing I knew I'd decided to get it." Best decision ever. "I asked Alice not to think about it because I wanted to surprise you tonight. I guess it worked."

I laughed and pressed my lips against that little note again. "I'll say it did. Did you get others?" I was going to hit the internet tomorrow and see what other rings they made. I was going to get her one of everything, a new one for every day of the year.

"I went shopping with Alice, what do you think? She picked out a bunch of them. She was going to show them to Esme and Rose and the boys after we left." My brothers knew? Ha! They were going to be incredibly jealous. We'd admired bellybutton rings on girls before, on TV shows and in magazines, but never thought that any of us would be with a girl who had one. Now my girl did. So incredible.

"Bella, I hope you know that from now until the end of time I will be constantly touching you here." I ran my finger over the ring again. Who knew that such a little thing could be so exciting? "Part of me wants you only to wear those little half shirts and low-rise jeans so I can see it all the time." She laughed. "Another part of me would want to kill anybody who got to see it but me." I could feel both desires battling within me, wanting to show her off and wanting to hide her away.

"Well, even if they see, they can't touch. It's yours. I'm yours." _Mine. All mine._ I let out a growl and pushed her back on the bed, her body spread before me, only her lacy panties remained. I set out to rectify that, gently pulling them down her legs and drinking in her scent. "Edward, you're still dressed." It came out in the cutest little whine.

"All in good time, love." If I got undressed now, I'd take her right away. I wanted to savor this night with her. I lowered myself onto her, meeting her lips with mine again as I pressed my body to hers. I kissed down her neck, giving it the same attention I'd given the back. My tongue moved against her, suckling gently on her collarbones, licking between them down to her breasts.

I traced my lips over her peaks, barely touching them but watching in fascination as the skin below me puckered at the lightest touch. I ran my tongue over her nipples, taking first one and then the other in my mouth. Bella arched her back, moaning. I could feel the vibrations against me and had to bite back my own answering groan. Her little hands found purchase in my hair, holding me to her. I pressed my lips firmly against her pebbled nipple and Bella came undone, writhing against me as she rode out her orgasm.

Before she could come down from the high, I pulled myself lower and ran my tongue over her wet folds. Bella's moans became louder as I worked my tongue against her, bringing her wave after wave of pleasure. She kept shouting my name and tightened her thighs around my head as I lapped up her juices. I couldn't begin to count how many times she came; it was like she was riding one very long continuous orgasm. She babbled incoherently while I touched and tasted every part of her, using my tongue and fingers to drive her wild. I watched in amazement as she thrashed about the bed, her body becoming slick with sweat, her fingers digging into the mattress.

"Edward…God, I can't…please." I took one last lick that had her bucking off the bed and crawled back over her, looking at her completely spent below me. She started to reach her hand up toward my face but her arm fell back down heavily. "That was…I don't know…" I chuckled watching her struggle to form comprehensible words. Her voice was hoarse from all the screaming she'd done, it was incredibly sexy to hear that roughened tone.

"Are you okay, love?" I pushed her sweat soaked hair back from her face and admired the gorgeous flush that had taken over her whole body.

Her chest heaved a bit as she tried to answer me. "I think…I'm slightly better than okay." I chuckled and started to move away from her, figuring she was probably done for the night. "Where are you going?"

"Nowhere, love, I was just going to lay down next you, let you get some sleep."

"Sleep? But you haven't…you're still…"

I kissed her gently. "Don't worry about me."

Her eyes narrowed. "No way, mister. I'm not ignoring your needs after you did _that_ for me."

"Bella, really, it's fine, you're quite tired after all that and I…"

"Who says I've had enough?" What?

"Was that not enough for you? I thought you enjoyed it…"

She rolled her eyes at me. "Of course I did, how could I not? That doesn't mean I don't want to enjoy more." Her mouth turned up in a sultry smile that challenged me.

"Well then, I guess I can return to where I was before." I started to move back down her body and she clamped her legs together. I laughed darkly.

"No, no, I can't handle anymore of that tonight." I absently flicked her bellybutton ring and looked up at her.

"Well then, what is it you want me to do?"

She blushed and didn't say anything, so I leaned down and kissed her new accessory, flicking my tongue over and around it, careful not to tug in case she was sore. Her stomach clenched underneath me. "I want you inside of me." I felt myself twitch at those words.

"Are you sure?" I wanted her very badly but I didn't want overdo it. She had a lot ahead tomorrow.

"Yes, Edward, I am quite sure."

"Well then…" I was off her and had my clothes off before she could even register the movement. I lowered myself back on top of her and framed her face in my hands. "Do you have any idea how much I truly love you?" She stared at me and nodded. "Good." I slid into her as I stared into her eyes, never breaking contact as that wet heat enveloped me. I felt the urge to thrust into her like a lion taking his mate but I restrained myself. I could take her like that soon enough. For now I would just love her.

I touched my lips to hers, gently, as I moved torturously slowly inside her. She sighed against my mouth, her tongue darting out to meet mine. My hands found hers and I laced our fingers together, pressing our combined hands into the mattress. I took my lips on a tour of her gorgeous face, tracing her jaw, her cheeks and her ear, kissing her forehead and her nose before returning to capture her sweet lips. She shifted restlessly below me, pushing up against me, telling me wordlessly that she wanted me to move faster. We'd been physical for such a short time but already I knew every part of her body, every response, every desire she had. I increased my pace as her hips met mine thrust for thrust.

She began to whimper as her body tightened, her orgasm approaching. I thrust harder, seeking to bring us both our release together. She moaned and I felt her clamp against me, becoming impossibly tighter and setting off my own orgasm as I spilled inside her. I continued to kiss her gently as I slid out of her, turning us onto our sides and cradling her in my arms. She broke our kiss and rested her head on my shoulder, entwining her hand in mine. "I love you."

"As I love you, Bella." I pulled the covers over her and kissed her gently one more time. Her eyes closed and she was asleep within minutes. I held her all night, watching her sleep for the last time, both aching and anxious over that fact.


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N Bear with me, usually my notes are pretty short but I have quite a few things to say today. First, I must thank whoever nominated Taste of Innocence for a Shimmer Award. I am blown away so thank you! Also big thanks to AGO who nominated this story for two Bellies, Best Emmett (I do love him!) and Best Canon Missed Moment. I'm honored to even be considered for anything so thank you anybody who has done so.**

**Second, thank you to InfinityPoet who recommended this fic on her blog. I'm so honored that she would do so and I'm fairly confident it got me some new readers so thanks to her and anybody else who may have rec'd me that I'm unaware of.**

**Third, I'm going to be posting an outtake of chapter 22 on Tuesday or Wednesday of this week. You'll get a little bit of Emmett and Jasper's reactions to the bellybutton ring in this chapter but if you want to experience the revelation when they do, that's what the outtake is all about. I'm going to post it separately, so if you don't have me on author alert, look in the profile midweek if you want to read it. I've had several outtake requests and intend to do them when the fic ends. If you have any requests, please let me know. I plan on writing chapter 17 (the key teasing) from Edward's POV and a Charlie/Tanya wedding interaction has been requested as well. Anything else you can think of, PM and I'll give it to you.**

**Fourth and final, I'm going to start sending teasers to those that leave reviews. First up will be a bit from the outtake, so if you want it early, you know how to get it! Enough rambling, on with the chapter, which happens to be my favorite so far. Can't wait to hear what you think!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 23

BPOV

The last day of my human life began the same way most of my days had begun in the past two years, with dreams of Edward fading to the reality of his gorgeous face lying next to mine. There could be nothing better than waking up to Edward holding me in his arms, except maybe waking up to his stone cold lips pressed softly to mine. I was lucky enough that I woke up to both.

"Good morning, love." That velvet voice combined with his cool fingers stroking my cheek sent shivers down my spine. I wanted to melt into his arms but unlike him, I had to worry about things like morning breath, made even worse by the fact that my husband had super enhanced smelling abilities. I tried to push away but his arms tightened around me and pulled me on top of him.

"Hey! I need to have a human moment!" He chuckled as I squirmed against him.

"You know, if you keep wiggling like that the last thing I'm going to do is let you go." My eyes widened as I recognized that husky tone. I was rubbing up against him and getting him excited. I pushed my rats nest hair out of my face and regarded him with disbelief.

"Really? You want me now? When I look like this?" I gestured to my bed head and no doubt sleep flushed face. "When I have morning breath?" He leaned up and kissed me, ignoring my protests.

"I always want you, Bella. Every minute of every single day." Who could resist that? Certainly not me. If he could deal with it, so could I. I melted into his embrace. I don't think I'll ever get tired of how he worships my body; his gentle touch drives me crazy. That electricity that always seemed to flow between the two of us was on a constant hum when we made love, it was the most pleasant of shocks that coursed through my body.

He rolled me over and entered me gently, my body stretching to accommodate him, always fitting him perfectly to me, as if we were created for one another. My heat mixed with his cold to make the most pleasant of sensations. I moaned and pressed my lips passionately to his, all thoughts of morning breath and bed head wiped away. His fingers laced with mine and he pinned my hands over my head. I felt powerless and I loved it. He moved torturously slowly within me, causing me to thrust my hips against his.

"I thought you wanted to take a human moment, love?" Like I had any interest in that right now, he knew I didn't.

"Not anymore."

He raised an eyebrow. "No? What would you like to do instead then?" Tease! I pushed against him in aggravation but of course I couldn't budge him. "Breakfast?" I shook my head. "A rousing game of Monopoly?" I growled and he laughed at my attempt to emulate him. "What then, love? What would you like to do right now?"

"I want you, Edward." It came out through my gritted teeth. I was getting frustrated. The amusement died out of his face and his smile looked absolutely feral.

"That's all you had to say, baby." With that he began to move inside me again, no longer with the slow strokes he'd been using before but with much stronger, faster movements that instantly sent fire coursing through my veins. I gasped as my orgasm rolled through me, tightening my grip on his hands. "More," he purred as his lips trailed down my neck. He released my hands and moved his over my body, pressing his fingers against my clitoris and setting me off again. I thought I heard him mutter something that sounded like "key" against my neck but I couldn't be sure and I was too lost to ask about it.

His hand continued to work against me as he moved in and out of me. I lost track of the amount of times I came, wave after wave of pleasure just kept sweeping over me. All I could do was gasp his name and weakly grip his shoulders. Minutes, hours, even days could have passed for all I knew. There was only him and me and incredible love making. Finally, when I didn't think I could take anymore, Edward shuddered against me and found his own release, both of us coming together. I lay spent and sweaty below him as he smiled sweetly down at me. He pushed my sweaty hair away from my face. "Bella, love, was that too much?"

"No, oh no, it was perfect." It always was, with him.

He looked relieved. "Good, I think I got carried away. I'm not sure when I'll get to be with you again."

I didn't like to hear him talk like that. "You will be with me again in three days, I guarantee it."

He shook his head. "Bella, love, you don't know what it's like, you'll be so focused on your hunger…"

"Edward, I know that blood will be my main focus at first, but once I get it, I promise to attack you at first opportunity."

He chuckled. "You better hope you're right because I just might hold you to that."

"Count on it, mister."

"I will." He gave me a quick kiss on the nose and rolled off of me. "Now I think you better get your human moments taken care of. You're wanted at the main house; they're fixing breakfast for you."

"Um, who are they?"

"The whole family, believe it or not. Also, Alice wants you to wear the half shirt that is apparently in the third dresser drawer." Half shirt, why would…oh! Edward grinned at the look on my face. "They all want to see your bellybutton ring." I didn't quite get while they were all so fascinated by it but I supposed I could accommodate their weird fetishes, since they were making me breakfast and all. I got the shirt and some jeans and went to shower and make myself somewhat presentable. Within a half hour we headed over to the main house to meet up with the family. Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and played with the little music note dangling down my belly. Maybe all vampires were into shiny things? Would I be?

We walked into the kitchen and I had to laugh at the sight before me. Emmett was at the stove donning a huge chef's hat and apron while he scowled down at a pan full of burnt eggs. "Why did they burn? They've only been cooking for 15 minutes. Surely that's not enough time for anything to cook."

Esme sighed. "Emmett, I told you that it doesn't take long at all to scramble eggs. You know they're done when they're no longer runny." He threw the pan in the trash can and got another one out of the cupboard, which was far too well stocked with supplies considering only one of us ate and I would not be eating for much longer. I watched in amazement as instead of cracking the eggs, he just pulled them apart without any shell falling into the pan below.

"Hey, little sis, you hungry?"

Alice and Jasper burst in through the back door loaded down with cantaloupe and watermelons. "We got the melons!" Alice squealed when she caught sight of me, setting the melon down and wrapping me in her arms. "Good morning, Bella! You look refreshed!" She giggled and I flushed, knowing they all knew what we'd been up to this morning.

"Hey, Alice. That's a whole lot of fruit you have there, do you really expect me to eat an entire watermelon?"

"No, silly! It came from Esme's garden, it's not like I could just bring you a slice." Esme was already growing watermelons? How long had they owned this house?

"Um, how long…"

Esme smiled, knowing what I was going to ask. "We've had this property for thirty years now. We haven't lived here for about twenty but I hired people to tend it while we were away, plus I stopped in now and then."

"Oh." I felt Edward press up behind me and I leaned back against him, raising my arms above my head and wrapping them behind his neck. This move made my black half-shirt ride up and suddenly there was a loud clatter as Emmett dropped the fork he'd been using to scramble the eggs. I glanced over to see him staring at me, his mouth hanging slack.

"It's true." His voice came out in a barely there whisper and he walked toward me slowly, almost like he was in a daze.

"Um, what is true?" I looked around for clarification but all I saw was Alice giggling silently, Esme shaking her head and Jasper looking a little glazed himself. "What is going on you guys?"

"So sexy." I jerked back into Edward as Emmett reached his hand toward me. Surely Emmett, who had Rosalie for crying out loud, could not be calling me sexy? "Can I touch it?" It? Since when did he refer to me as an it? Why was he asking Edward for permission to touch me?

"Ask her." Edward didn't sound happy.

"Bella?" Emmett turned pleading eyes toward me; seriously, he looked like a giant puppy dog. "Can I please touch it?"

"For crying out loud! Touch what?" Stupid mysterious vampires.

He looked at me like I was insane. "Your bellybutton ring." Oh, that? I glanced down and shrugged. It would be a little weird having someone besides Edward touch me but Emmett was my brother now, so why not?

"I guess so." Edward stiffened a little against me but didn't say anything as Emmett grinned like he'd just won an Oscar or something. He had just put his pointer finger against the silver metal when a blond blur entered the kitchen and slammed his hand out of the way. Edward, seeing it coming, had jerked me back so I didn't get knocked over by Rosalie.

"Emmett McCarty, don't you even _think _about touching her that way!" She was in a full out rant. "Is she suddenly hotter than I am just because she has that bellybutton ring? Why don't you run out and find your own human to get together with? You can have bellybutton rings and babies and warmth, all you could ever want!" She picked up Alice's deserted watermelon and hurled it at Emmett. He dodged it, just barely, and reached out toward her.

"Rosie, baby…"

"Don't you baby me! Look at all of you, acting like this is a day to celebrate. Making the human her last little meal, admiring her new jewelry that she only got to be different, to be even more special than you all already think she is!"

Rosalie eyed me with more anger and animosity than I'd ever seen from her before. "I thought maybe you'd come to your senses, but here we are, it's your death day and you're just fine with that. Do you honestly know what you're giving up?"

I opened my mouth, not sure if I should even attempt to answer her right now. Edward had shifted so that he was standing half in front of me, in case Rosalie should decide to make her attack physical instead of verbal. "Rose, I will not have you talking to my wife like that."

She snarled at him. "Oh sure, God forbid one of us tell her how stupid she is for sacrificing her humanity to be with you forever. I'm sure I'm not the only one…"

Esme stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Actually, you are the only one who doesn't accept Bella's choice and isn't happy about her being part of this family. We all understand Bella's decision and I can tell you that were I in her situation, I'd make the exact same one." Rose gasped at this information and I admit I was even surprised to hear it. Esme had always wanted to be a mother.

Esme removed her apron and looked at each of us in turn, ending with her eyes on me. She took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "That surprises you all, I can see that. Yes, I still sometimes long to hold a baby in my arms and to know that baby came from me. But the only man I'd ever want to have a baby with is Carlisle and obviously, he can't father my child. I've got my family, not related by blood but related by choice. It satisfies me." She turned to Rosalie. "I'm sorry that you want more, nobody can blame you for that, but you also can't blame Bella for the choice she's making. I'd do the same."

"As would I." Alice wrapped her little arms around Jasper's waist. "Jazz is my world and I don't want anything else without him. Does that make me a bad person, Rose?" Rosalie's mouth opened and closed as she struggled to find a way to respond.

"It's just, she's giving up so much and she doesn't realize…"

It was time for me to step in, I hated them talking about me like I wasn't there. "What makes you think I don't realize, Rosalie? I said permanent goodbyes to Jacob, Billy and Charlie. Do you think I did that lightly? That it didn't affect me at all? That I don't think about them every day and wish that there was some way…"

"But there is some way! You can stay human!"

"I don't want to stay human, Rosalie. I want to be with Edward. Always. I can't live without him and he can't live without me. Sure, I could stay human but I'd get old and die and he'd be left without me. What do you think that would do to him? You know what it would do; you saw it when we were apart. I want forever with him. Maybe that's selfish of me, but it's what I want and it's what makes me happy. I can't live any other way. I respect your view; now please try to respect mine."

She just stared at me for a moment and then shook her head. "You've made your choice and it's clear there's no talking sense to you. Don't come crying to me when you regret it. I'm not sticking around to watch you throw everything away." She turned on her heel and left the room, slamming the front door after her.

Emmett looked chagrined and walked back over to me. "I'm sorry, Bella, she just…she just wishes that things were different. It's not really your choice that she hates; it's that she didn't have one."

I stepped forward and gave him a hug; he looked like he needed one. "I know, Emmett. I understand, really. It must be hard living forever without getting the thing you want most in the world." He squeezed me back and smiled sadly.

"Yeah, it must be. She just doesn't understand that Edward is what you want most. I get that because Rosie is my everything. I wish I could be that for her but she just wants more." Poor Emmett, didn't she realize that when she showed her dissatisfaction with her life that it made him feel bad? He knew that she'd give him up to live again and to have children. That had to be horrible for him.

"She is incredibly lucky to have you, Emmett. And I know she knows that, even if she doesn't always think to show it or say it."

He kissed my forehead. "Thanks for that, Bella. I, for one, am incredibly happy that you're my little sister. I'm thrilled that we get to keep you forever. I have to go, during…you know, but I'll be back and be with you during your change."

I laughed and gave him another hug. "I'm glad to hear it. You can tell me funny stories and plan some more pranks, pranks I can help you with in a year or so, okay?"

A real smile stretched across his face at that. "Heck yeah! Oh, we can totally go to biker bars and little delicate you can arm wrestle big hairy dudes! You'll destroy them! It'll be epic!" I laughed with him, happy to see the smile back on his face.

"Count on it."

"Sorry about your eggs and the melons." He glanced over at the second set of burned eggs; we'd all forgotten them during Rosalie's rant.

"That's okay; I'm really not that hungry anyway."

He nodded and looked sad again. "Well, I better go talk to Rose. You take care and I'll see you real soon, okay? Don't forget, we have a wrestling match in a few days!" I hugged him one more time.

"Sounds good. Go to Rose; make her smile like you do me." He gave me one more kiss on the forehead.

"Take care of her, Edward."

Edward nodded. "You know I will. You go take care of Rose."

"You know I will." Emmett headed off in the same direction Rose had vanished moments ago.

Alice let out a little sigh. "Well that was interesting. I'm sorry, I saw it coming but I thought maybe it was better to let her get it all out…I think she'll accept things more quickly this way."

"That's okay, Alice, it's not like it was a surprise."

Edward wrapped his arms back around me. "Still, she should never have spoken to you that way. I could hear her getting more and more agitated but I didn't think she'd actually…"

I cut him off. "Edward, it's fine, I don't want her censoring herself around me. She's said her piece; I've said mine and we can move on."

He frowned. "Are you sure though? If she said anything that upset you or changed your mind, we can wait. It doesn't have to be today."

I laughed and turned in his arms, cupping that gorgeous face in my hands. "My mind is made up, as it has been from the moment I found out what you were. Nothing anybody says could change that. I want you and I want forever. No more delays." His golden eyes seemed to warm at my words, taking on an even more buttery hue as he realized I had no hesitation.

Jasper spoke up then. "I think we'll take that as our cue to leave." He came over to me and gave me a quick hug. "I can't be here, during, but I'll be back as soon as I can and I'll help as much as I can." What was he talking about? What was there to help with?

Before I could ask, Alice launched herself into my arms and spun me around gleefully. "Everything's going to be fine, Bella! I can see it perfectly. You're going to be so beautiful!"

Edward growled. "She's already beautiful." I rolled my eyes.

Alice smacked him on the arm and a resounding thwacking noise filled the kitchen. "I know that, but she's going to be even more spectacular." Edward softened a bit at that. Alice turned back to me. "I know what you're about to go through is painful but just remember we're all going to be there for you, during and after, okay?"

"I know, Alice. I love you and I'll see you very soon."

She gave me another hug. "I'll have lots of new clothes and things ready for you when you wake up!"

I groaned. "Alice!"

"I know, I know. Don't go overboard. Too late!" She took Jasper's hand and danced toward the front door, twirling and skipping as only Alice could.

He turned around before they left. "By the way, Bella thanks for getting that bellybutton ring." I gave him a questioning look as Alice tittered beside him. "Let's just say that the thought of it inspired us and leave it at that." I felt the blush burning across my cheeks as they laughed and took off to hunt.

Esme approached then, handing me some slices of cantaloupe. "It's not the big breakfast I envisioned but at least it's something."

"It's plenty, Esme, I'm honestly not that hungry anyway." I'd had more than my share of food last night.

She took my hand and led me over to the kitchen table. "Are you nervous?" Was I? I didn't feel nervous at all, amazingly enough.

"Surprisingly no. I'm a little anxious but I'm also pretty excited."

She brushed my hair back from my face, her cool fingers tickling over my scalp. "I'm glad. I won't tell you that these next few days are going to be easy for you to get through but you're one of the strongest people I know and you'll handle it well." I wasn't sure what to say to that. Me, strong? "You are. You handle everything that's thrown at you with grace." I nearly snorted at that one. Esme was clearly mixing me up with someone else.

I grinned at her. "Nobody has ever used the word grace when talking about me, Esme."

She just smiled serenely. "That's because they don't know you like I do. A mother sees." She looked a little nervous at her words. "I hope you don't take that badly, I think of you as my daughter you know. I know you have a mother…"

Tears welled in my eyes as I shook my head. "No, Esme, I consider you to be a mother. It's no secret that my mother was my best friend but she wasn't very mother-like. You're exactly who I would choose to be my mother, who I have chosen to be my mother."

She gasped and put a hand to her elegant lips. I think she would have been crying if she'd been able to. "Oh Bella!" She buried her head in my hair and held me for several minutes. Edward looked like he was about to burst with happiness, his glorious face was lit from within. "That was the best thing anyone's ever said to me. Thank you."

I looked at Esme in surprise. "You have nothing to thank me for. I thank you for accepting me into your family. You've welcomed me from day one, when you certainly had to be nervous about my coming into Edward's life."

"You made him whole. I could see that from the start and I'm so thankful for it. I'm so happy to have my family all together. This is how it was supposed to be." She rose from her chair and I was enveloped in her cool embrace once more. "I'll be nearby, I promise."

"I know you will be, Mom." Her eyes filled with emotion again and she kissed my cheek, leaving the room without saying anything else.

Edward sat down next to me and took my hand, entwining our fingers together. "Love, you astound me every day."

"What do you mean?"

"You couldn't have said anything better. What you just did for Esme…it meant the world to her."

"I just said what I meant. I do think of her as a mother. She's the kindest, most gentle person I've ever met. She really was made to be a mother. Maybe she's not a traditional one but it fits her beautifully."

"It does. Do you want to eat that cantaloupe or…"

"Can we just…how are we going to do this? Here?"

He looked contemplative. "No, actually, I thought it would be better if we were outside. We don't want the scent in the house and I really don't want to do it anywhere that I'm going to be every day. If I bit you in our bed, I'd think of that every time we lay in it together and I don't want to do that." That made perfect sense.

"Alright, we'll let's go do it." I felt like I'd said a thousand goodbyes and I was more than ready to start saying hello.

"Carlisle is just pulling up now; he'll be here in a minute. He's going to stay here, close enough to come quickly if anything goes wrong." I just nodded; I didn't want to think about anything going wrong.

"So, um, how are we going to do it?" I bit my bottom lip, a little nervous finally discussing the logistics.

Edward didn't really look comfortable with my question for that matter. "I just thought I'd take you out on a blanket and we'd hang out for a little bit and then I would just do it."

"Are we going to make love before?"

"No, not unless you really want to. I don't really want to equate our love making with turning you."

"No, that's a good point." Though I thought it would be romantic for him to bite me while he was thrusting into me, I didn't want us to think of that every time we made love.

Carlisle came in then and smiled at both of us. "Edward, Bella, how are you doing?" His words were simple but loaded with meaning.

"I'm fine, Carlisle." No nerves came through in my tone, I was proud of myself.

Edward laughed. "I'm more nervous than she is, clearly."

He grinned at me. "That's because she has faith in you, just as I do son. You can handle it."

Edward ran his fingers through his hair, a sure sign of his consternation. "I know. Alice showed me everything would be fine."

I tugged on his hand. "It will be. You're over thinking things."

Carlisle guffawed. "Who, Edward? Surely not!" I laughed, it was funny to hear Carlisle use sarcasm.

Edward fake scowled at both of us. "Make fun of me and we'll just forget about it. I can go hunting with the others, maybe Carlisle will turn you." A small smile twitched across his lips.

I nodded calmly. "Maybe he will have to. And then maybe my husband will get to spend all eternity with a very unhappy wife." His little smile fell away.

"Oh no, it's my job to keep you happy. You could try to be mad at me but it wouldn't last for long."

"Hmm, well time will be irrelevant then, won't it? So I could stay mad a decade or two and it would only be a drop in the bucket time-wise but I imagine…"

He crushed his lips to mine. "No. I'm not going to let you be unhappy for a second, let alone decades!"

"Good, then enough teasing me."

He dropped his head to my ear and sucked the lobe into his mouth. "Oh, I'll be teasing you again, don't you worry. But you'll like it, I promise." I shivered as his erotic words and cool breath washed over me.

"Are you sure about that not making love before thing?"

Carlisle cleared his throat and I jumped. I'd forgotten he was in the room. "Do either of you have any questions?"

Edward looked a bit uncomfortable, glancing at me and then back at Carlisle. "How much blood should I take?"

"No more than three pints. I assume you're going to go through the jugular?" Edward nodded. It was rather strange to hear them discuss taking my blood like it was a medical procedure. "Okay, you may want to consider also biting her wrists and possibly her femoral artery." Edward looked upset at that news.

"I don't want to give her scars all over her body."

"Edward, nobody will be able to see."

"I will! You will! She will!"

"Edward, it's no big deal, I'm used to having scars."

He frowned at me. "It's a big deal to me. I hate the thought of marking you." He traced a finger over the scar on my right hand, a memento of James' attack on me.

"But they'll be your marks. Marks showing that I belong to you." His eyes darkened at that, nostrils flaring a little. I began to wonder again if it wasn't in our best interest to make love before he bit me.

His black eyes swung to Carlisle. "Jugular and femoral, would that be enough?"

"Yes, those are the two main arteries; they'll carry the venom quickly."

"Okay. You'll come after I'm done?"

"Yes, I'll help you bring her back here. We've got the guest bedroom ready." Edward's eyes returned to their natural golden color as he calmed.

"All right." He looked at me. "Bella, are you ready?"

"Yes." I made sure to meet his eyes and let him see that I didn't have any qualms.

"Bella, did you have any questions?"

I turned to Carlisle. "Are you going to administer any drugs or anything? Should I take them now?"

He shook his head. "No, I don't want to give you anything that may inhibit the path of the venom. Alice said morphine wasn't going to work. Jasper's going to help you though." There it was again.

"How is Jasper going to help?"

"Bella, love, Jasper volunteered to use his gift to help ease your pain. He won't be able to help the whole time but he'll endure it for as long as he can."

"He can't do that! I don't want Jasper hurting for me! Edward, how could you ask him to do that?"

He glared. "I didn't ask him, I didn't even think of it. He volunteered. He wants to do it, Bella."

"But why?" How could he put himself through that for me?

"Because you're his sister now and because he still feels awful for nearly attacking you a year ago."

"That's ridiculous. He didn't hurt me and he couldn't help his reaction. None of it was his fault."

Carlisle interjected. "We know that, Bella. He even knows that but it doesn't stop his guilt. He saw what leaving you did to Edward and to Alice, all of us really, and he feels responsible."

"But he didn't do anything! Edward made the choice to leave." He winced and I caressed his cheek. We weren't going down that road again. "I don't blame you anymore than I blame him. I don't want him to feel obligated to make up for something that wasn't his doing."

Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder. "Even if he didn't feel guilty, Bella, he'd still do this for you. You're family now and we don't sit by when one of us is hurting."

"But I…"

"Tell me something. If the situation was reversed and you had the power to lessen Jasper's pain, would you?" Dammit, he had me.

"Well of course but…"

"But you're the only one who gets to be self-sacrificing? He wants to do this Bella."

"He needs to do it." Edward interjected. "You know a little about his past, of course, but you don't know everything. He created a lot of newborns in his time and he left them to their own devices. He didn't do anything to help ease their suffering and as time wore on that's bothered him. He sees helping you as a way to get a little redemption, both for nearly attacking you and for all those he hurt in the past."

I couldn't argue with that. "Alright, but I'm going to have to make it up to him somehow."

Edward laughed. "And then he'll feel like he owes you again. Consider yourselves even, love." I sighed. We'd see about that.

"Alright, so bite, burning, guest bedroom, Jasper help, I awaken a vampire. That about sums it up, right? Anything more we need to discuss?" Edward looked at Carlisle who shrugged. "Alright then, let's go." I stood up and tugged on Edward's hand.

Carlisle walked over and put both hands on my shoulders. "Bella, I know I've said this before but I feel like I should say it again. Welcome to our family." I choked back some more tears and dropped Edward's hand so I could wrap my arms around Carlisle. I snuggled into his stone chest.

"Thank you for accepting me and wanting me to be one of you." I would never forget that he voted with me when I asked the family to vote on turning me. His support meant so much.

"You've always been one of us; you'll just be a more durable one of us now." He pulled back and gave Edward a brief hug. "You'll be fine and I'll be right here if you need me."

Edward returned the hug and took my hand back in his. He picked up a blanket and led me out the back sliding glass door. "See you soon, Carlisle." He smiled at me and waved, watching as we descended the hill behind the house. Edward waited until we were out of view of both the main house and our own before he stopped and spread the blanket on the grass.

We were near one of Esme's gardens, a profusion of flowers in blues, reds, yellows and purples dotted the area around us, reminding me of our meadow. "Did you ask Esme to plant this here?"

Edward looked almost embarrassed as he answered. "Yes."

"How long ago?"

His golden eyes pinned mine, burning with some emotion that I couldn't identify. "The day after our first date in the meadow, when I knew that I planned to be with you as long as you'd have me." I had no coherent response to that so I leapt at him and he caught me as I pressed my lips to his and wrapped my legs around his waist. "Mmm, Bella," his words were muffled against my lips. I pulled back so I could hear what he'd have to say as he sat and lowered us to the blanket, keeping me in his lap. "What was that for?"

"For wanting to keep me with you, even when you didn't know it would be forever."

He stroked my cheek. "It was always going to be forever, just forever would have been different. I would have made sure that I followed you in death. I'm glad you wore me down on that though, you were right, one lifetime is not enough."

I pressed my lips against his. "Eternity might not even be enough, when it comes to you and me." He growled and kissed me harder, his hands diving into my hair. I melted against his hard body, getting as close to him as I possibly could. It was never close enough, even when he was inside of me I wanted more. I felt the molten heat coursing through my body, wanting nothing more than for him to take me again.

"Edward, are you sure about this not making love thing?" The laughter rumbled out of his chest, I could feel it everywhere.

"Bella, you tempt me, you don't even know how much."

I huffed and pulled back from him, putting a few inches between us. "Well, if you're not going to take me, let's get on with the biting!" His jaw dropped open and he gaped at me in surprise. "What? If I have to wait three long days to make love to my husband, then I want to get it over with as soon as possible!"

"Bella, love, it's not that I don't want to make love to you. And just because I don't plan on biting you while we have sex, doesn't mean I can't do something for you."

Something? Something like…"What?"

"You know where your femoral artery is?" Yes it was in the upper leg…oh! "I can see by the look on your face that you do. Would you like that?" His hand dropped from my hair to my inner thigh, gently caressing me as his eyes met mine.

"Um, yes?" It came out sounding like a question, why was that? I had no question, I wanted it.

"So it would be okay, then, if I gave you some pleasure and then bit you there?" I didn't want it to sound like a question when I answered him again so I just nodded my head. He nudged me off his lap and lowered me to the blanket, crawling over me and placing himself flush against my body. I groaned when I felt his arousal pressed against me and thrust up against him. His lips captured mine again as his hands traveled up in down my arms, leaving goose bumps in his wake. He moved down to my neck, his cold tongue tracing the curve, right where he'd be biting me shortly. It should frighten me, I suppose, but all it did was excite me. I shivered against him.

"How much do you want to know about what I plan?"

"What?"

"Do you want me to tell you what I'm going to do, when I'm going to bite you, or do you want me to just do it with no warning?" His lips were on my stomach now, kissing all around my bellybutton and then grazing over the ring he so enjoyed.

What did I want? Did I want a play by play? No. "Just do it, Edward, no warning."

His fingers unhooked the button of my jeans and he slid the zipper down. I arched my back as he pulled my jeans and panties down, leaving me clothed in just my half-shirt. "So beautiful," he breathed. His lips returned to my body, tracing over my hip bone and down to my center, where I was more than ready for him. His tongue traced up my folds, sending me into immediate ecstasy. His tongue worked me over, bringing me waves of pleasure. His hands clenched around mine, holding me tightly as I thrashed against him.

I felt, rather than saw, his head move slightly to the right. His tongue traced gently over my inner thigh. I glanced down at him and jet black eyes looked back at me. I barely had time to breathe before his mouth opened and his teeth bit down.

It actually didn't hurt, not in that first moment anyway. I watched almost dispassionately as my blood began to stain his lips. His eyes stayed on me as he fed on the blood coming from my thigh. I started to feel a little woozy, my usual reaction to blood when the scent hit me. His tongue swept out and traced over the bite.

I closed my eyes as I started to feel the heat burning through my veins, heat that was very different from the heat I'd been feeling seconds ago when he'd been pleasuring me. His lips met mine and I tasted my own blood. I couldn't work up the disgust that would normally bring me, not as the fire started to burn brighter in the lower half of my body. "I love you, Bella." His voice sounded like it was coming through a filter. I wanted to respond but I didn't think my lips would move.

I vaguely felt something cold against my neck and then felt something like a pinch. Part of me knew he was drinking from my neck now. I wanted to reach up and put my hands in his hair, hold him there to support him but my limbs felt heavy. I knew his hand was still in mine, for I felt cold in my left hand, the only place I felt anything other than heat. The burn was moving through my body and I felt it particularly strongly in my neck. He must have pushed his venom into me. That was good, I think. I dimly heard him, that angel voice that meant everything to me. "Forever, my love."


	24. Chapter 24

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 24

EPOV

That taste. That sweet, glorious taste. There was nothing like Bella's blood. I remembered the flavor every day but to have it, here, now, flowing freely into my mouth was like being given the gift of life. The hot blood was everything I'd ever wanted but now I wanted something else more. The girl, _my girl, _my very soul. Her life was in my hands; her death was at my lips. I cringed against the beast, the animal that wanted to rear up and drain her. My body shuddered with the effort as I stilled my drinking. I gathered all the venom that had welled up in my mouth and pushed it back into her, taking one long last lick of that intoxicating blood. I pressed my lips to the spot on her neck where I'd made her mine. "Forever, my love," I whispered against her soft skin.

The sight of her body, pale and lifeless below me was enough to send the beast that was still clamoring for another taste away. I slid my hand out of hers and pressed my finger to her wrist, feeling the rapidly slowing beat of her heart below my touch. Her heartbeat, once so strong and vital, was already sporadic, long slow beats followed by a rapid pump and then silence, followed by another slow beat. It sounded so wrong. I could pick her heartbeat out from miles away but that beautiful sound had been replaced by this irregular cacophony. I hated it. I clutched her to me, prepared to run her to Carlisle because something must be wrong when he appeared at my side.

"Carlisle…I messed up. I took too much. Fix it!" I held Bella to me with one arm while gripping him with the other. She felt cooler, already. The love of my existence was dying and I had caused it. I would join her in death; there was no doubt about that. I would go back to the Volturi; they would be more than happy to kill me this time after the near miss months ago. Death was too simple for me though. I'd antagonize Jane, let her torture me for awhile. It was the least I deserved for taking such light from the world. Caius would no doubt delight in having Felix rip off each of my limbs and throwing them in the fire. I had earned such treatment.

"Edward, she's fine." What? How could that be? Her heartbeat was slowing, already. She was cold. I grasped her tighter and began rocking back and forth.

"No, no, I did it wrong, it's too fast. It has to be."

His hand clapped down on my shoulder and he held me in place. "Edward, listen to me. This is perfectly normal. Her heartbeat is erratic because the venom is filtering through her system. It's not evenly spaced, so sometimes the heart beats faster, sometimes slower."

"But she's cold."

"That's the venom. This is a good thing, son." He reached over to take her from me. I didn't mean to, honestly, but a growl ripped out of my throat and he paused. "Alright, why don't you carry her back to the house now, Edward. We'll put her in the bed and you can go get the others…"

"I'm not leaving her! How could you even ask me to? I can't be away from her, Carlisle. I just can't." Was he crazy? I would not leave her side ever again.

"Alright, son, we'll go home now and get her comfortable. The others will be here soon. Alice will see everything is fine and they'll come back. I'm proud of you, you did well."

"Alice? Yes, I need Alice. I need Jasper. Bella needs Jasper. We need him. Where is he? Is she hurting now, Carlisle?" I stroked her silky hair and looked at him imploringly.

"I don't know, son. She may be, but she's quiet right now and that's a good sign. She may have passed out which will keep her more comfortable. Now come with me." I reluctantly got to my feet, cradling Bella against my chest. She was so small, so helpless. I wasn't really aware of following Carlisle but suddenly we were in the guest room and he was motioning me to put Bella in the bed.

I laid her down gently. Looking at her still form spread over the bed scared me like nothing ever had before. She looked dead. When she was in that hospital in Arizona, her heartbeat had been blessedly strong and true, the sound I loved. This foreign sound was not comforting; even though I should be glad her heart was still beating. It fluttered, like a little bird. Bella was fragile but still so strong. Her heart should be strong, as strong as she was which was way stronger than I was. I couldn't live without her. I wouldn't.

"Carlisle…" before I could ask him, again, if everything was really alright, Bella started thrashing on the bed. A moan escaped her lips and I breathed a sigh of relief. She was alive. My relief was short-lived, though, because her moans increased in volume and she started screaming. The sound pierced me to my very core. "What's wrong with her?"

He sighed. "Nothing, this is perfectly normal. Don't you remember Esme, Rosalie and Emmett? They all were like this, as were you." But Bella should never hurt. She should never sound like that, as if she'd been tossed into the fires of hell. My Bella would never go to hell, she was too good. I ran my hand over her cheek and she immediately quieted. That was interesting. I felt the electricity of our connection, even now. Maybe she did too?

I took my hand away and she immediately started to whimper again. I put it back and she went silent. I glanced at Carlisle. "Has that ever happened before?"

He looked fascinated, as he always did when presented with something new. "No, I've never seen it, but then again I've never seen a relationship like yours either. A vampire and his singer, falling in love and marrying and being together…it's unheard of. You told me long ago that there's some sort of electricity between you two."

"There is. When I touch her, I feel a spark. She feels it too."

"Well it seems she feels it now and it must be helping her as it's keeping her silent. I think it's best if you keep touching her." Like that would be a problem. I was in bed with her before he finished speaking the words, my arms wrapped around her and her head resting on my shoulder. I remembered the burning…maybe my cold skin would actually be useful for once.

"Carlisle, can you give us a minute?" He left without a word and I removed Bella's clothes gently, leaving her clad only in her underwear and yanked my own off as well. I wanted to give her as much contact with my skin as I possibly could. I turned on my side and pulled her flush to my body, wrapping my arms and a leg around her. She let out a whimper that ended in a sigh and I felt like maybe I was doing something to help her. I threw the covers over us as Carlisle came back into the room. He put his fingers to her wrist and measured her pulse.

"She sounds perfectly normal, the heartbeat is leveling." It may be leveling but it still didn't sound right. It would never sound right again. I'd done that. Yes, she wanted it, yes, I wanted it but seeing it happen, hearing it happen was almost too much for me. I wish I could take the pain for her. I would die all over again for her.

"How long has it been?"

"Half an hour." Only half an hour? We had 71 and a half more hours to endure? Surely Carlisle was wrong. It had been hours. It felt like it'd been days. I groaned and buried my head in her silken tresses, breathing in that strawberry scent that never failed to calm me. "Edward I know how hard this is for you but she will be fine, you will both survive this. I bit back the angry retort that wanted to pass my lips at his words. I wanted to yell at him that he couldn't possibly understand but of course, he could. He'd been through this with Esme.

"How did you endure it?" Please, tell me how I'm supposed to lay here doing nothing while the love of my life suffers next to me.

"I…you just do." _It was so different for me. Esme was dying; when I bit her it saved her life. What was three days of pain compared to permanent death? Would I have been able to turn her if she was fine; physically healthy? I just don't have that answer; I can't put myself in his position. I'm glad I didn't have to. _His thoughts brought the guilt crashing back down upon me. Had I done the wrong thing? It felt right, even now I knew I wanted her to be with me forever, despite knowing what she was going through. I'm a monster for feeling that way.

"So, you wouldn't have changed her, if you were me?" Please tell me I did the right thing. This can't be wrong, having her with me forever. We belong together.

"Oh no, son, you misunderstand my thoughts." Had I a sense of humor in that moment I might have snorted at his words. "Esme and Bella are very different. Esme didn't have danger lurking in every corner like your Bella does. She was so sad, though, Edward. I didn't know, of course, until after I'd turned her that she'd tried to kill herself over the loss of her son. Had I known she'd always have to live with that…I just don't know if I would have changed her. It took her a long time to get over it, as much as she could. She still feels the ache of that loss even now." Poor Esme, she was meant to be a mother. I knew we could only fill the void so much.

"There's an even bigger distinction as well, Edward. Bella chose this. She went into this knowing exactly what was coming. Esme had no choice, I made it for her. If I were in your situation, if I was you, I would make the same decision you did a hundred times over."

That shocked me. "You would?"

"Yes. She wants it, you want it and you deserve happiness, both of you. It's an easy choice." It hadn't been easy for me. "You struggled with it because of your fear for her soul and because you love her enough to not want to ask her to give up anything for you. But she knows all that and wants it anyway. I have a feeling if the situation was reversed, you'd do the same for her." I would, undoubtedly. Of course it was easy to say that when I barely remembered my family. "Love isn't rational, Edward. You can try to apply thought and logic to it but ultimately you have to listen to your heart. What does your heart tell you?"

My heart told me that I had done the right thing. But that was right now. If she screamed again, though, it would probably tell me I was a selfish, evil being that deserved to rot in hell for causing her even a moment's pain. Carlisle looked at me expectantly so I gave him my answer. "I did the right thing for us. It's hard to deal with it, now, but ultimately it's what we both want and need."

He nodded approvingly. "There you go then. Stop torturing yourself. This is part of the process, it's the hardest part but you'll both be beyond it soon enough." It was amazing how time once was such a nothing concept to me. Since Bella had come into my life it was like a guillotine dangling over my neck, I was always waiting; waiting for her to wake up in the hospital, six months of pure hell when I left her, months of wanting to make love to her, minutes of sweet torture waiting for her to walk down the aisle…time was such a huge factor in my life now, because of her. I wouldn't trade it for the world though.

Before I could formulate the words to express myself, I heard the sweetest sound I could have asked for in that moment. _Edward, we're back. We'll be with you in three minutes. _"They're almost here." Thank God. Now I would know just how much she was suffering and Jasper would help alleviate it.

Carlisle smiled. "Good. I know Jasper will help and I know Alice will make you feel better. Just remember when the guilt creeps in that you did the right thing."

"I'll try." I had to. I'd lose my mind if I didn't calm down a little. It felt like an anvil was pressing on my skull. We couldn't get headaches but damned if it didn't feel like one was imminent; that or an ulcer. I'm such a mess.

I curled even closer to Bella, tightening my grip on her and willing her to hold on for a few more minutes until my brother could help her. I pressed my lips to her neck, just above the spot where I'd made her mine forever. She felt different already; her skin was cooler and already felt less pliant. Before too long she'd be just like me. I used to dread that so but she'd taught me that being a vampire didn't mean I was a soulless monster. I could never be without my soul as long as she was at my side.

"We're here!" Alice bounded into the room, more exuberant than her norm. If I hadn't been so happy to see her I would have scowled at her happiness in this moment. "Oh, don't be Sullen Cullen, everything is going perfectly!" I did scowl at the return of that nickname, but it wiped away when my brother walked into the room. The look on his face…it was a look of fierce concentration. I'd only seen him look like that when he was preparing for battle with the newborns. His scarred countenance was all the more intimidating with the blank expression on his face and the dead look in his eyes. I watched as the gold went from black back to gold again as he shook his head and cleared it.

"It's not as bad as it should be. I haven't forgotten how it feels and though she's in pain, it's not nearly as strong as I remember. What did you do? Is everything alright?" Jasper leveled me with that flat gaze, looking and sounding almost accusatory.

"I didn't do anything wrong, Carlisle says she's progressing nicely."

"Then why is she not screaming right now? I'm not doing anything yet and she's silent as a church mouse. You must have done something wrong."

"I did nothing wrong, dammit! She was screaming. She stopped when I touched her. That's why I got into bed with her; she hasn't done more than whimper since I joined her." Accuse me of messing it up, humph.

His look of suspicion narrowed to speculation. "Interesting. Well I always said you two were different than the rest of us, it shouldn't surprise me. Let her go."

What? I was not ever letting her go. "I'm not going to let her go. She'll start screaming again. Why would you ask me to do that?"

"I need to know just what kind of difference you're making. It's just for a minute. I want to see what your effect is, what effect I make alone and what the two of us combined can do for her." His words made sense but I didn't have to like it.

Alice danced to my side and held her hand out to me. "It'll be fine, Edward. It's best that he knows. Between the two of you, you're going to make it so much better. Trust me." I always had, I always would. I released my love and gripped Alice's hand, allowing her to pull me from the bed and across the room. "If you're too close she'll still feel you and he won't be able to get a full read on her."

Jasper's look of concentration was back on his face and suddenly his face blanched. His entire body started to shake and he collapsed to the ground. Bella started screaming again, the sound piercing into me. I started to push Alice away but she held her ground. "Just give him a minute, Edward." Jasper crawled toward Bella and took her hand in his. The screaming continued for eighteen more endless seconds and then tapered into quiet moans. I moaned along with her, seeing my Bella suffer was more than I could take.

"Now, Edward," Jasper's voice was no stronger than a whisper. I was back in the bed with her a second later, wrapped around her again. The moans died off almost instantly and Jasper raised his head. His voice was somewhat raspy but he looked like himself again. "The difference is amazing. I think your touch reduces the pain by more than half. With my help, it's going to be minimal. It's actually pretty tolerable without." Relief washed over me. Alice pulled a chair over to the bed and Jasper sat down next to Bella, keeping her hand in his. His eyes narrowed and he focused his attention on Bella. His face contorted for a moment but then smoothed out. "I think I'm going to be able to sit with you for longer than I thought. Several hours at a time at least."

"Jas, I don't know how to thank you for this."

"You already have."

"I know, but…"

"How many times have you used your ability to help me? You've stopped me from killing humans several times, Edward. I could never thank you enough for that." He glanced at Alice. "I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I ever disappointed Alice by slipping again. This is the very least I could do."

"Jazz, you could never disappoint me," Alice chirped, dancing over to give him a kiss on the top of his head and then ruffling his dirty blond hair before heading upstairs. He grinned over at me and rolled his eyes. _Sure, they say that but we both know that we're more than capable of disappointing them and they're more than capable of reminding us of the fact that we did for years. _I stifled a laugh, shocked that I could even begin to feel humor while Bella was still changing. I truly had the best family in the world.

"Where are the others?"

"Em's with Rose still." Jasper frowned. "That stuff she said to Bella…it was really out of line. It hurt Emmett too." I nodded. Emmett was good for Rose, he'd softened her quite a bit but he couldn't give her everything she wanted and she never let him forget it, even though she didn't mean to. "Esme's picking some flowers for Bella; she wanted her to have something to wake up to." I smiled at that, Bella would like to be greeted by flowers. I ran my finger over her cheek.

"She's changing already."

"I know, I can feel it. Her heartbeat has slowed and I can feel the hardening beneath her skin. A part of her is aware of it too." I frowned at that news. "That's actually good, Edward. All she should feel is searing pain. Actually being aware of the changes is a lot better than the alternative." I suppose that was true.

"How are you doing?"

"It's tolerable. I've had way worse." I had no doubt about that. His scars were an everyday reminder that Jasper had suffered beyond the imagination. "It's interesting, the effect you have on her. I wonder if it would be similar for me and Alice had one of us been changed while the other was around."

"I don't know. It didn't work that way for Esme or Emmett when they were changed but who can say? Carlisle thinks maybe it has to do with her being my singer and the electricity we seem to have between us."

Jasper chuckled. "You know he's dying to do some kind of experiment on the two of you."

"Yeah, vampire guinea pigs. I think we'll pass."

"At least he can't do any poking and prodding, not now." Yes, Bella's skin would soon be as impenetrable as the rest of ours. I was conflicted about that. It would be much harder for her to be injured now but I would miss her softness.

A voice from a ways out caught my attention. "I'm going to check on Bella, Rose. She's our sister now and I want to make sure she's okay. You go ahead and stay out here as long as you need." I couldn't hear her response, she was out of range.

"Em's on his way, he wants to see Bella." I wanted to see him. Nobody could make me laugh like Emmett could.

"He loves her, you know. He truly views her as a little sister." I did know that and it made me love him all the more. Both of my brothers were fiercely protective of my wife, in some cases to their own detriment. Here was Jasper, willingly exposing himself to discomfort for her, while Emmett was willing to face the wrath of his wife by wholeheartedly accepting Bella into the family. I could not have two better brothers if I handpicked them.

"I know. The way you all have accepted her, well, it means the world to me. To Bella as well. You've made it so easy for her to become one of us. I have to wonder if she would have chosen this life with me if you all weren't a part of it."

"Ha! You know she would have, she was determined to be with you no matter how much you resisted. We're just the icing on the cake."

"Cake? She can't have any cake anymore or I'd totally make her one for her birthday. I'm sure it's easier to make than those stupid eggs." Emmett charged into the room, boisterous as always. He walked over to the bed and ran his eyes over Bella. "She's gotten paler…who knew that was possible?" He was right, her peaches and cream skin was just cream now. He reached over and tugged the blanket back for a second. "Ahhh, my eyes! Where are her clothes? I don't want to see my sister naked."

I glared up at him. "Why in the hell were you pulling back the blanket?"

His dimples flashed impishly at me. "Well, now that Rose isn't around, I thought I could get a better look at that bellybutton ring." Jasper joined me in laughing at him. "What? It's hot! But I don't want to see my sister naked! I just want to see the bellybutton ring and imagine it on someone else!"

"She's not naked."

"Close enough. You wouldn't want to see Alice or Rose in their underwear would you?"

"I've seen far worse than that thanks to your thoughts, Em." He snickered and sent me a flash of Rosalie naked. "Dammit, stop that."

"That's what you get for having a wife with sexy stomach accessories that will torment me forever." I couldn't stop the smile at that, having my Bella and her pretty bellybutton ring for an eternity. "Did you see all the jewelry Alice got her? Handcuffs! That's just so sexy." Handcuffs? My sister was keeping secrets from me, but they were ones that Bella would reveal. Hmm…I could wait, I suppose. "Jasper likes it too, you know."

"I do, but you don't see me trying to sneak peeks at it."

"That's only cause you're busy burning. Speaking of that, how in the hell are you so coherent right now?"

"It's not as bad as it was for the rest of us. Edward's touching her seems to do something to her system. I can't understand it but she was in half the pain of the rest of us. Between the two of us, she basically feels like has a bad fever right now instead of feeling like she's been tossed in a burning fire."

Emmett clapped a hand down on my shoulder. "You two are so weird. It's going to be fun watching you over the next couple of centuries."

"I'm glad we'll be able to provide you with amusement."

"No doubt Bella will! Too bad she'll lose her clumsiness. That was always fun!" I would miss that as well, though I wouldn't miss the inevitable bruises and God forbid the cuts and scrapes that tormented me.

I looked at my brothers and had to ask them the same question I'd asked Carlisle. "If you were me, would you have done it?"

Emmett's jovial expression turned speculative and his body tensed. "You mean, turned her? I would have if I were you. It's different if you're talking about me and Rose though. I wouldn't have done that to her because of her need for children and a family of her own. I wish I could give her that every day." His expression turned wistful and then his face fell.

"I'm sorry, Em, I didn't mean to bring that up. I just wanted to make sure I'd done the right thing for Bella."

He straightened his shoulders and the sadness fell away. "You gave her what she wants, bro. Of course you did the right thing, for her and for all us. I wouldn't want to deal with your emo self after human Bella died or something. The thought of that is terrifying. And I love Bella. She belongs with us."

Jasper looked at us both and nodded. "Yes, I would do the same thing you did." He didn't say any more than that, he really didn't have to. A few words from Jasper were like an epic novel from another man.

"Do you…are you guys sure she'll remember me?" There, I voiced it, the one thing I hadn't allowed myself to really think about since I'd bit her.

Emmett let out a jovial laugh. "Dude, is that what you're so worried about? Of course she'll remember you. We woke up with our memories intact; it was only after years that it faded."

"I know, but what if her feelings change?"

"Vampires, unchanging, you know all this!" Emmett gently cuffed my head. Sure I knew it but I was still scared, it scared me nearly as much as the thought of killing her had.

"Edward, I don't have the ability to help you both at the same time so put a lid on the fear, will you? You're being ridiculous; Bella will still be the same as she was before she changed. She'll remember all of us and you in particular."

"Alice didn't have any memories."

His jaw tightened and his eyes flashed with anger. "Yes, and thanks to our run-in with James we know why. My Alice had foresight and maybe that's all she was able to bring with her. From what we have pieced together, maybe that's all she needed to bring with her. I don't know for sure what her family was like but I'm positive they weren't good enough for her. She's better off not remembering what led to her being in that asylum. I thank God everyday that she didn't have to live like that for long. Bella has nothing but good memories to bring with her and you gave her those books to help her keep them. You couldn't have come up with a better gift." And just like that, he'd comforted me without using his abilities.

I trailed my fingers over Bella's jaw and heard an almost imperceptible sigh escape her lips. "Thanks Jas, she's really doing okay, right?"

"Better than we could have hoped for, honestly. I'm going to have to leave soon but I'll be back within an hour and I'm pretty sure with your help she'll be fine." I noticed his eyes had darkened over the past few hours, now more of a dark brown than his usual honey. It was the only sign of any discomfort he'd given since he first walked in the room.

"Go ahead now, Jas, you've done plenty. We'll be alright." He watched me steadily for a few moments and nodded, pushing off the chair and placing Bella's hand gently back on the bed.

"See you soon." Emmett followed him out and she and I were alone again. I pressed my lips to her cheek, noting that she was even cooler. I closed my eyes and held her, letting my mind drift ahead to a few days from now, when she'd be back at my side smiling and blessedly alive again. Right now she didn't feel like my Bella. She still looked like her, although subtle changes were already taking place. Her cheekbones seemed more prominent, some of the baby softness gone from her face. Bella had always been thin and without much muscle tone but I could see the beginnings of definition entering her arms, legs and abdominals. Alice was right, she was going to be stunning, not that she hadn't been already.

The hours passed, my family coming and going, keeping me company when it was clear that I was getting a little insane and leaving me alone when I needed alone time with Bella. I held her and stroked her and talked to her, telling her all the places we'd go when she was back with me and all the things I longed to see and do with her. I told her about the dark time without her and reminded her that we'd never be apart again after she returned.

Jasper was a constant presence over the next couple of days, sitting with us for hours at a time and making me feel calmer. I didn't know if he was using his gift on me or if it was just the fact that he was there, though I assumed the latter as all his concentration was on Bella. Finally, after an interminable amount of time, Alice danced into the room with a soft blue linen dress and a huge smile on her face.

"It's almost time." I'd been begging her to tell me when Bella would wake up but she'd been unable to pinpoint it. "Get up, Edward; I can't get her dressed with you draped all over her." I started to protest but Jasper nodded at me, letting me know that he'd help her. I got out of bed but kept my hand on her cheek, longing to keep her from feeling the worst of the pain again. She remained still as a corpse and kept silent as Alice quickly slid the dress up her body. It molded beautifully to her curves.

I'd felt every change as it happened, her skin had become impenetrable about six hours ago. All the color had left her four hours ago, leaving a pale luminescence to her skin that hadn't been there prior to her change. Her body was lean and muscular now; all the softness limited to just the lightest touches on her skin. She felt like silk over steel now. Her hair was shinier and thicker. She still looked like my Bella but had changed enough that it would probably make her happy. She refused to see just how beautiful she really was, much to my endless consternation.

Carlisle came into the room and put his fingers to her wrist. Her heartbeat had slowed to the point that I could barely hear it anymore so I knew Alice was right. "Any moment now son." I took hold of her hand and lay back at her side; longing to be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes. I had another moment of panic, fearing she'd forgot about me despite what my brothers said. Maybe she'd wake up like Alice had, with no memory of her prior life. Could I make her remember me? Would she fall in love with me again or would she reject me for having made her into a monster? No, Bella would never be a monster, but would she think me one?

Jasper sensed my emotions and sent a wave of calm my way. "No, help Bella."

"She doesn't need help anymore, the burn is almost gone. You need to get it under control, man. I need to concentrate on her when she wakes up, not worry about you having a panic attack." I took an unnecessarily deep breath, willing myself to calm. Jasper was right; he needed to worry about her, not me.

The rest of the family filed in, even Rosalie was there. We all listened as Bella's heart began to stutter, giving a couple last pumps and then stilling forever. I gripped her hand tightly, willing her to open her eyes and remember me. I didn't know what I'd do if she didn't. Her hand jerked in mine and I watched as her eyes opened; the chocolate irises now replaced by crimson. It was disconcerting but she was still gorgeous. Her eyes darted around the room and then landed on me. She licked her ruby lips and quietly uttered the most beautiful word she could have said in that moment. "Edward."

**A/N She's awake and she remembers! I just wanted to give a quick thank you to all my readers this week, new and old, for making my day (months actually) by coming along this journey with me. Remember, a review equals a preview of the next chapter.  
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**Are you reading Tilt by lambcullen? You should be! 52 sex cards and a very inexperienced Bella and Edward fumbling their way through the deck. It's worth it for the read just to hear Edward's attempt to talk dirty. **

**Also, The Caged Bird by Kristen Nicole is about to wrap up and I adore Religious Bella and her bad boy Edward. Their love is sweet and adorable. **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N Sorry for the day's delay, folks. I was waiting out fanfiction's alert issues. I think it's working now, or starting to, so I'm posting now. Hopefully I won't have to delete and repost, which I've already done once. Sorry if you get an alert that goes nowhere!  
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**I'm looking for some new fics to read, so I thought I'd ask you guys what fics are the ones that you would drop everything to read when you get an alert? Other than Breaking Trinity and Elemental, which I've already mentioned, High Anxiety by EdwardsBloodType and The Blessing & The Curse by The Broken Arrow are the ones that I would hang up on my best friend for. Hehe. Sad but true. How about you? **

**I plan on maintaining my posting schedule through the holidays, so Chapter 26 will be up on Saturday, barring site difficulties of course! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 25

EPOV

Edward! She said my name! She remembered who I was! The rational part of me hadn't doubted that she would but I clearly wasn't at my best while she was changing. I thanked God I'd never have to go through that again. Bella was very likely the last of the Cullens. At the very least she was the only one who would matter to me this much; if I ever observed a change again it would be much less stressful. "I'm here, my love."

She left her right hand entwined in mine and reached out to touch me with her left, her fingers tracing the line of my jaw and igniting a fire inside me at her touch. "Edward," she whispered again. She leaned toward me slowly and pressed her lips to mine. In that moment, everything vanished. I forgot our family was standing at the foot of the bed, I forgot the terror I'd lived in for the last three days; my entire focus was on the feelings Bella lit within me. I could feel everything pouring out of her in her kiss, she could have been shouting her feelings from a roof top and it wouldn't have been clearer. _She loves me. Still. Always. _My biggest fear, after killing her of course, had been that she wouldn't remember me and she wouldn't love me anymore. I would have fought for her love and found it again; I had no doubt of that, but the relief that I didn't have to thrilled me.

Her little hands found purchase in my hair and tugged me closer to her, using slightly more force than was necessary but not enough to bother me. It was strange, her new found strength made her capable of actually pulling me to her whereas before I had to willingly go. Not that I often refused her, it was just a different sensation now knowing she could exert her will on me. It was extremely arousing. Before we could get much more carried away a hand clamped down on my shoulder and yanked me away from my Bella.

"Sorry, bro, but as happy as we all are that Bella is one of us now, it doesn't mean we all want to celebrate with you that way." I glanced around the room and realized that everyone was still standing where they'd been when Bella opened her eyes. I looked back at her and she looked embarrassed although she was missing that telltale blush that would normally be darkening her cheeks.

"Oops." I used the word she'd used the first time we kissed and she got carried away. She smiled and then dissolved into a fit of giggles. She remembered. She remembered everything. I'd see to it that she always would.

"Welcome back, Bella!" Alice swooped down upon her, pulling her from the bed and wrapping her arms around her exuberantly. "We've been waiting for you to wake up forever! How are you feeling?"

Bella's eyes shifted wildly around the room, trying to take in everything at once. "I'm alright, I think. A bit overwhelmed at the moment but I feel great." Her voice rang like a bell now, she sounded similar but there was a light trill there that hadn't been before. It was a beautiful sound.

"Well you're awake, let's go!" Emmett started to tug on her arm but Bella held firm, looking down at her body in surprise as it failed to yield to him.

"Where are we going?"

"Hunting, of course! Aren't you hungry?"

Her gorgeous face contorted in confusion. "I don't know. I guess I sort of am but everything is coming at me all at once. I want to hear about my transformation, I want to run, I want to hunt, I want to spend time with my husband…" At those words I was back by her side, scooping her into my arms.

"I'd be happy to fulfill any and all of those wishes, my love. Let's start with the last first."

"Oh no you don't! You said we could go hunting and we're going to do it!" Emmett was in front of the door now, a scowl crossing his face, an immovable mountain depriving me of alone time with my wife.

"You know, Bella is stronger than you are now. I can just turn her loose on you and we'll get our way."

A grin lit his face, his dimples winking in his delight. "Yes! Let's wrestle, Bella!" Naturally he would want that.

"Just a minute, boys, I want to talk to Bella." Carlisle took a seat on the now unoccupied bed and looked at her with wonder. "Tell us about the transformation. What do you remember?"

Her perfect brow furrowed in concentration. "Well, I remember Edward and I out on the blanket and him…uh…anyway, I remember him kissing my neck and then I felt like I was floating for awhile. Then I felt like someone started a fire inside of me but right after that feeling hit, it stopped. Well, I guess it didn't really stop but it didn't hurt as bad? More like I was in a really hot bath I guess? Then it got even better for awhile, then back to the hot bath feeling and calming again." She broke off and looked as Jasper. "Was that you?"

"Partly. Actually, I'm pretty sure the hot bath feeling was Edward. For some reason when he touched you it diminished your pain. He stayed touching you the entire time." She placed her hand on my neck and I felt that electrical hum between us again. "I used my ability to lessen even that, though I had to leave from time to time to replenish my strength. That's when the hot feeling would return I imagine."

"Thank you, both of you, for making it easier on me. There are really not enough words to thank you. I can't think of them." Her beauty was marred by a frown.

"Love, you have nothing to thank us for. We're just both happy to have been able to help you." She continued to caress my neck and my mind started to wander to ways she could show me her thanks, if she really wanted to.

"Amazing! This transformation is surely unprecedented. For a vampire to come out of it with minimal memory of pain is just amazing. I knew Jasper would be of some help but combined with the connection you and Edward have…it's fascinating." Carlisle was looking at us like we were lab rats again. Thank God he couldn't take us to medical conferences, I had a feeling Bella, Jasper and I would be on display for the world to study if he could get away with it.

"Perhaps we should take you hunting, love, I'd like to spend some time alone with you but I think it'd be best to do that after you hunger was sated." So I could satisfy a wholly different hunger. _Dang, why don't they get a room already, he looks like he wants to eat her, again. _I growled at Emmett.

_Whatever he's thinking, he's probably right, Edward. I can feel your lust spiking from over here. It's a tad bit distracting. Get it under control. She's feeling a little overwhelmed right now, you need to guide her a bit. She's doing incredibly well; she's very controlled for a newborn. I've never seen anything like it. Still, we don't need to take any chances. _ Jasper was right; we needed to get her hunting.

"Wait!" Alice was back at my side again, directing me toward the dresser mirror. "You have to show her how good she looks." Bella tensed in my arms; clearly a little fearful at what she might see when she looked at herself for the first time.

"It's alright love, you're absolutely gorgeous." She was, too. Her higher cheekbones made her face look more distinct. Her dark hair was even richer than before, falling in graceful curves down her streamlined body. I knew she'd be a bit disconcerted about her eyes but they would change rapidly once she started our vegetarian diet. The fear did not fade from her face but she nodded at me, letting me know she was ready to look.

I put her back on her feet in front of the mirror and watched as she looked at herself. Her red eyes widened as she took in her appearance, her hand reaching up to touch her cheek, her hair, her now perfectly straight nose. "I look like me, but better." She was marveling at the changes in herself and I was relieved by her reaction. She'd always had such a poor sense of self worth that I wanted her to embrace the new her, even though I thought she hadn't changed that much and she was as beautiful to me today as she was a week ago. "What about my eyes?" A frown stole across her lovely features.

"They'll turn gold like ours in a few months, Bella."

"Unless you slip!" Emmett chortled. Her frown deepened at that declaration.

Before I could say anything to him, Alice linked an arm around Bella's waist and chimed in. "She won't. Trust me." I did and it was clear that Bella did as well as her frown faded and a soft smile took its place.

"I certainly hope not." Esme walked over then and stood in front of the mirror with Bella, wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

"We all have faith in you dear." I took in the reflection before me, the three most important women in my world standing together, strong and united, and felt unprecedented happiness. Why had I resisted the idea of making Bella one of us for so long? This moment was more than I could ever have imagined. My peace was shattered at the sound of Rose clearing her throat from behind us.

I turned and raised an eyebrow at her, silently daring her to ruin the moment with one of her barbs at Bella. "I'm glad you made it through, Bella." To say I was shocked by those words was an understatement and it was clear I was not alone in that sentiment. Everybody looked stunned, even Emmett though he'd probably pushed her to do it. Rose glanced wearily at all of us and sighed. "I can be nice, you know, and just because I don't approve doesn't mean I wanted her to suffer either."

Bella turned to face her. "Thanks, Rosalie." Rose nodded and left the room, Emmett watching her go with a look of pride on his face. _I'm so glad she listened to me. _I gave him a nod and a smile of thanks. We all looked at one another at a loss for what to say in that moment.

Jasper broke the silence. "I really think we should take Bella out hunting now. She's got great control but I'd rather not chance it any longer." _How is she doing it? She should be clawing at the walls by now. Is this her gift? Self control?_

Carlisle stepped forward. "Yes, I think that would be best. Bella, how are you feeling now?"

"A little less anxious, maybe a little hungrier? There's a burning in my throat, it's been there since I woke up although it's getting stronger now. Is that normal?"

He nodded at her reassuringly. "Yes, that is perfectly normal. You need to feed and the burn will diminish. It won't go away entirely but it will lessen and be far more tolerable as you go."

I took Bella's hand back in mine and asked if she was ready to go. She looked down at the dress Alice had put on her and raised her eyebrows at our tiny sister. "What? You can hunt in that!"

"No, Alice, I really can't. It's too tight, how am I supposed to run in this?" Alice huffed and ran out of the room, returning a second later with a pair of jeans and t-shirt.

"Fine, here. When you get back we're going to have a lesson in fashion, it's time for you to embrace your inner goddess." Bella snorted and rolled her eyes.

Emmett had enough and ushered everyone out of the room. "Change, be quick about it. Let's go!" I watched as Bella bit her lip and slipped out of her dress, sliding on the new clothes with a speed and elegance that she hadn't possessed only days prior.

She grinned at me. "That was really easy."

"Yes, love, you're doing wonderfully. How are you so focused and controlled?"

She paused for a second. "I'm not sure, exactly. I just keep telling myself to remain calm and to concentrate on what everyone is saying and doing. It seems to be working for me."

"It certainly is. Jasper is amazed by you. So am I, but then that's the norm for me where you're concerned." She smiled and I knew she'd be blushing now if she could. "Of course, I still can't hear your mind. I'd hoped that might change when you were more like me but you remain a mystery."

"Good! I like knowing my thoughts are protected from you. If you could hear the things I think about you sometimes…"

I put on my sexiest smile. "And just what are you thinking?" I purred.

She giggled. "If I told you, it wouldn't be a mystery now would it?"

I affected a pout. "It's just not fair. The one person whose thoughts I want to hear and I can't get at them."

She stood on her tip toes and kissed me. "Instead of telling you, I'd rather show you." I growled and pushed her up against the door, pressing my lips more firmly to hers.

"Edward! Bella! I'm breaking down that door in ten seconds. Get out here, now!" Damn Emmett. I sighed and released her, knowing he'd make good on his threat.

"I'm going to hold you to that later, love."

She pressed another quick kiss to my lips. "I hope you do." We linked hands and exited the bedroom, met with a scowling Emmett and a laughing Jasper.

"Finally! I've been waiting for this for three days, time to go find Bella a bear!" He bounded out the door and was lost in the forest before we could even react. "Are you coming?" His voice echoed from within the trees.

"Ready Bella?" She nodded and took a deep breath, releasing my hand and standing still for a moment. "Just start running, love, it's easy." She flashed me a grin and took off, running with a speed and precision that was lovely to watch. I looked at Jasper. "Shall we join them?" He didn't bother to answer, disappearing into the trees. I took off after them, easily catching up to Jasper.

I caught Bella's scent, a hundred yards ahead of me to the east and took off in her direction. I caught up to her about ten seconds later, marveling at her grace and beauty as she darted through the trees. Her long hair flowed behind her; her eyes were glowing with excitement as her body cut effortlessly through the foliage. She glanced over at me and laughed, kicking her legs a little harder and trying to outrun me. I let her get a little lead and then caught up to her, newborn or not she wasn't faster than me. She pouted rather adorably when she realized that she couldn't beat me but the pout quickly dissolved into giggles as she reveled in running.

"Do you remember the first time I ran with you? We've come a long way since then."

I laughed at the memory of Bella clutched to me, scared to death and unable to even climb off my back after I ran her back from the meadow. She'd been petrified that I was going to run her into a tree. Look at her now, running with abandon, not worried in the least about any branches hitting her or tripping and falling. "I'll say. You were petrified, thinking I'd run you into a tree, as if I would ever hurt you like that."

"Hey, I got used to it eventually, even came to love it after awhile."

"I just find it amusing that you accepted my being a vampire more easily than you got accustomed to running with me."

"Running with you was scarier than your being a vampire."

I laughed in disbelief. "And that, Bella, is what makes you special. I don't think there's another person in the world that would say something like that."

Jasper caught up to us and shook his head. "She is a weird one, I'll say that."

"Hey, I am not weird!" Without stopping, Bella yanked off a tree branch and threw it at Jasper and me. We both ducked while I admired the force behind the throw. Bella looked surprised as the branch cracked against another tree and effectively sliced the trunk in half. "Um, wow."

"Yes, love, you are very strong right now, remember?"

"It's one thing to know it, another to see it and feel it. I can feel strength flowing through my body now, it feels strange."

"You'll get used to it, learn to channel and control it. We'll all help you," Jasper assured her. "You're already doing incredibly well." She thanked him for his compliment; his words clearly making her feel good about herself.

I was about to echo his words but stopped when I caught a scent on the breeze. I froze and Bella instinctively stopped with me, her face turning in the direction from which the aroma was coming. "You smell that, don't you?"

She wrinkled her adorable nose and nodded. "What is that?"

"Deer, probably two hundred yards from here. Inhale and tell me what you feel like doing." She took a deep breath and tensed, her body bunching as if she were ready to spring. Jasper nodded in approval.

"I want to go to them." Her words came through gritted teeth, her sweet voice sounding more guttural.

"Then go. Let your body guide you, you already know what to do. It's instinct. Let it take over for you." Jasper instructed her. Bella grunted and took off in the direction of the deer, moving like wind through the trees. We followed her, keeping a discreet distance so that she wouldn't feel like her hunt was being threatened. Newborns tended to react badly to the presence of others when they went after their prey.

We got within twenty yards of her and held back, watching as she came to a clearing in the woods. There were five deer drinking from a small stream that trickled through the forest. Bella ran towards them without a moment's hesitation, barreling into the clearing and leaping in their direction. She took down a large buck, crashing to the ground with it, her jaws clamped down on its jugular. The other deer scattered but Jasper and I let them go, just watching as Bella made her first kill. She drained the buck in a matter of seconds, blood trickling down her ruby lips and staining the top of her white t-shirt. She pushed the deer away and turned to us. "How did I do?"

"You were perfect, love."

Jasper cuffed me on the back of the head. "You did well, Bella. However, you could improve a little on cleanliness and technique." _She won't learn if you don't tell her, there's encouraging and then there's sugarcoating. _

A little cloud came down over her face and I longed to go comfort her. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, there were five deer there. You took down one, beautifully I might add, but the other four got away and you're still thirsty, aren't you?" She frowned and nodded. "Well, in the future, you need to take down more than one at a time. You could have taken out the whole herd in a couple seconds."

"How?"

Jasper chuckled. "Easy, you have two arms, use them. Break their necks, they can't run, then you can take your time feeding and getting your fill."

Bella bit her lip and nodded. "Okay, I see, you're right. Next time I'll take more than one. I don't know that I need five to fill me up though."

"Yes, that's probably a bit much. For your size, I'd say two or three would suffice. Maybe not now though, as a newborn you can and will want to take more." Jasper's advice was good and I was glad that he was giving it to her straight. My urge to coddle her was hard to let go of, I was glad he was there to help guide her.

Bella looked down at herself, taking in her bloodstained shirt. "And cleanliness?"

"That comes with experience; I really don't expect you to come away without being a mess your first time out. You'll learn to control the blood flow; it helps if you pinch the nerve so that the blood doesn't gush as quickly."

"Okay, thanks Jasper. I'll try to do better the next time. Should we track the deer that got away now? I still need more."

Jasper thought about it for a minute. "No, we'd be lucky to come upon just one, better to keep moving and see what we find deeper in the forest. Speaking of that, where is Emmett? I can't believe he missed her first kill." It was strange; he'd been all about seeing Bella hunt and now he was nowhere to be found. I reached for him mentally but couldn't hear a thing.

"He was headed east, I guess we should go that way and see if he's found anything. Bella might appreciate a carnivore this time out. How did the deer taste, love?"

She started to run back in the direction we'd come from, Jasper and I falling in step beside her. "It tasted okay, I guess. It was kind of like eating a hot dog when I was craving a steak though." I laughed at her analogy, it was very apt.

"It's an acquired taste, to be sure, and it will never truly satisfy you the way that human blood would. It's what we crave. Sadly it will always be that way, but you learn to get beyond it and you'll find certain types of blood appeal to you more than others. Carnivores tend to taste better to us because they're more like humans than the herbivores are."

She grinned at me as she darted back to the east; we'd reached Emmett's scent again and were headed in his direction. "You mean like mountain lion?"

"Exactly like mountain lion."

"What about you, Jasper? What's your favorite thing to hunt?"

_Humans. _The answer was instinctual and I didn't hold it against him, though he looked irritated at himself for the thought. "My favorite animal is actually the tiger. I've only hunted a few of them when we went to Asia for a little while, but their flavor was most appealing. It's been years since I've had one and they're endangered now so I wouldn't hunt them if I could but there was richness to the blood that appealed to me."

"Interesting. I guess you guys have hunted all sorts of strange animals over time."

Jasper laughed. "Yes, there isn't much out there we haven't tried. Emmett actually took down a rhinoceros on our African trip. He said it tasted like a rat. None of the rest of us was willing to try it after that."

I snorted, remembering his face when he'd taken down the huge beast only to find its blood as appealing as that of a common varmint. "What other strange animals have you had?"

"Crocodiles, lions, pythons, gorillas…Africa was rife with things to try. We just couldn't stay there for long because of the sun, none of us liked being confined to only being out at night. Edward even took down a cheetah or two." I smiled at the memory of chasing the fast cat through the desert, the only animal that could somewhat challenge me in a race. It had been stimulating.

_Would you guys quit with the yapping and get up here already? Took you long enough! I've been tracking this bear for ten minutes now and I'm more than ready to take it down myself if Bella isn't going to get here. It's not every day that I give up bear, you know! _"Emmett found a bear."

"Bear?" Bella's fiery eyes widened.

"Yes, love, and he's letting you have it, if you're interested." She didn't need to be told twice, taking off in the direction I pointed. Jasper and I hurried after her, anxious to see Bella take on her first carnivore. She caught up to Emmett quickly, barely pausing when he pointed her in the direction of the bear. I could smell it now, that potent musky smell that indicated a predator in the area. Emmett clambered up the nearest tree, gaining a perfect perch to watch Bella as she came upon the bear.

It was a black bear, at least seven feet tall. It caught Bella's scent right before she came upon it, turning in her direction and letting out a ferocious growl. It didn't even cause her a second of hesitation, she leaped in the air and came down in between the bear's open paws. They looked like they were in an embrace, dancing to music only they could hear. The bear's claws attempted to rake across her back, not finding purchase in her now marble-like skin. Her t-shirt shredded but she was unmarked. I felt my muscles relax; unbeknownst to me they'd tensed up as I watched her take on the beast. It went against every instinct I had letting her wrestle with a bear.

Emmett let out catcalls from his spot at the top of a large oak tree. "That's it, Bella, show him who the real predator is!" She lunged toward the bear's neck, her teeth snapping at his neck but coming away empty when the bear jerked back at the last second. "No! Don't bite too early, play with him for awhile!" Bella growled in response, concentrating on the thousand pound creature in her viselike grip. The bear raised a paw and brought it down on Bella's head. I winced in response to the thunderous sound as he connected with her skull. I started to run to her but Jasper caught my arm before I could move.

"She's fine, Edward. She isn't human, breakable Bella anymore. Look at her, she's perfect." And she was, her head was still connected to her body and she was gaining leverage on the bear, bending him toward the ground. They started rolling, sending clouds of dirt and grass flying. Emmett chortled with glee, continuing to shout encouragement.

"Get him in a headlock! Pin him, we'll see if you can hold him for longer than ten seconds. Watch the paw!" His fascination with the creature that had nearly ended him hadn't waned in all these years. Emmett would always prolong his battles with bears, refusing to let them end too early, getting revenge for the one fight he'd ever lost. The fact that he'd let Bella have this one was a true testament to his love for her; Emmett didn't relinquish bears to anybody, even Rosalie. But he was anxious for her to get a taste of his favorite food.

Watching Bella roll around with the bear, a look of concentration in her fiery eyes was surprisingly arousing. The quick motion, the grunts and the flexibility on display had me excited in a way that wasn't remotely related to the hunt. I felt Jasper shift next to me, picking up on my mood. _Come on, Edward, like you two aren't bad enough to be around at the house? Now you have to get turned on while she's hunting? _I shrugged somewhat sheepishly, how could I help it? I'm sure he'd had that reaction to Alice when she was hunting and I know Emmett had with Rose, more than once they'd disrupted a hunting trip with their inability to keep their hands off one another.

Bella had finally had enough of her wrestling match with the bear. Her teeth sank effortlessly into the furry flesh and rivulets of red flowed into her mouth. I licked my lips as I watched her drink from the animal that was easily ten times her size. The dark blood stained her ruby lips and dripped along her neck. I fought the urge to go to her, knowing that she'd still be focused on her kill. She drank deeply, throwing in little moans and growls that went straight through my body and left me shuddering with desire for her.

Suddenly she raised her head and her crimson eyes seemed to see right through me. She dropped the drained carcass and straightened up, watching me unblinkingly. Her gaze was filled with a different kind of hunger now and my body responded. Jasper tensed next to me. _Oh Lord, here we go. _Go…that was a good idea. "Leave, please." I meant to sound polite, I truly did, but my voice had a possessive edge to it that came out in a growl.

Jasper shuddered in reaction to the emotions rolling off Bella and me as we stared at one another. "Yeah, we're going. Come on, Em."

Emmett hopped down from the tree, landing to my left and seemingly oblivious to the tension in the air around him. "What? I don't want to leave! We need to celebrate Bella's first real kill! Come on, little sis, I'll race you, first one up the mountain gets the next bear we come across!"

"Dammit, Emmett, pay attention will you?"

Emmett's looked back and forth between us, finally starting to clue in. "Oh man, again? Can't you two control your hormones for a few hours? I want to race and then we have to give Bella her birthday presents. Sexing can wait for later."

I glared at him. "Go, now."

He heaved a much put upon sigh and stomped off toward home. "Fine, guess we'll go home and wait for you two to have clear heads again. Shouldn't take more than a year or two. Humph." Jasper just laughed and took off with a "see you later" tossed in our general direction. _I need to find Alice. _I grinned and swung my gaze back to Bella and saw that she hadn't moved a muscle. Her eyes were trained to me, moving up and down my body as she licked the blood from her lips. It was one of the most erotic things I'd ever seen.

I took a step toward her and she stayed still, watching me. After another couple tentative steps I broke out into a run, closing the distance between us in about two seconds. I reached out with my right hand and ran it along her cheekbone, softly tracing the contours of her face. She leaned into my caress, still watching me with those ruby orbs. I leaned forward and ran my tongue over her lips, tasting the last traces of the bear's blood mixed with the lavender and freesia taste that was pure Bella. I trailed my tongue down her neck, removing every last remainder of the other animals scent and mixing mine with hers. She whimpered in response to my ministrations, tilting her head to give me better access as I ran my tongue along the top of her t-shirt.

"My Bella, you taste incredible," I murmured against her skin, pressing kisses and little licks along her collar bone and back up to her lips, recapturing them with my own. Her arms came up around my neck as she pressed her body fully to mine. I thought I might miss the heat of her against me but there was a comfort in having us be the same temperature. She still felt warm to me and so very familiar. We felt right together. Her lips pressed against mine with an unrestrained hunger and now I was able to meet hers with my own. I answered her just as hungrily, tightening my grip on her tiny waist and aligning our centers where I wanted to be joined with her.

"Edward," she moaned into my lips, rocking me to my very core. "I want you, right now." Before I could react, her hands dropped from around my neck to my shirt, which she tore from my body with one slight tug. My nostrils flared in reaction and I returned the favor, tearing her shirt right down the middle and revealing a white satin bra. Her lips crashed against mine as her fingers yanked on my jeans, tearing them off and leaving me clad only in my black cotton boxers. I unbuttoned her jeans and then tore them in half, not having the patience to pull them down and allow her to step out of them. I wanted to be inside her, without delay. I dispatched of her underwear in the same fashion, tearing it from her body as she trembled against me.

Her pale white skin glinted as sunlight filtered through the trees, that diamond-like reflection that I'd once loathed in myself suiting her perfectly. My Bella was made to shine. I tore my lips from hers and moved them down her neck; biting and sucking on her in a fashion I'd never dared to when she was a frail little human. Her response to me only made me more fervent, moans rocked through her body and her hands pulled me against her, tangling in my hair none too gently. I didn't care, though, I didn't want gentle. I tugged her away from the dead bear and over to the oak tree that Emmett had been perched upon. I pulled off my underwear and entered her swiftly, pressing her back into the tree as she arched against me and wrapped her legs around me.

I didn't calculate for the force I could use now, the force that we would both have combined and with the first thrust we felled the tree, ripping it up from the ground via its roots, the earth shifting below us. I held fast to Bella. Rather than letting that stop us, I let us fall with the tree, Bella's back resting against the large trunk and me lying above her. Her hips thrust up to meet mine; the sound of our bodies crashing together thunderously. I let my inner beast take over and rutted against her like the animal that she brought out in me.

She kept gasping my name as her lips moved over my face, her teeth sinking into my neck, seeking to mark me as I had marked her. Her teeth didn't penetrate my skin but I could feel a hint of pain mixed with pure pleasure as she nipped my skin. I growled into her neck, my lips unerringly finding the spot where I'd made her mine forever. I bit all down her neck, sinking my teeth into her shoulder, dragging them down to her breast where I took a nipple into my mouth and nibbled her for real this time. She came against me, bucking up as she screamed my name, her voice echoing through the forest.

I moved my hips faster as Bella met me thrust for thrust, her strong legs gripping me to her like a vise, her hips bouncing off the tree. My hands held tightly to her, clutching her as I'd never dared to before. I lost all sense of time and place as I took her the way I'd always wanted to, rough and hard. Every ounce of passion that I'd stored for her over the months spilled out of me as I made her mine. I felt her tightening around me again and let myself go, coming with her harder than I'd ever come before, not having to worry about hurting her. I collapsed on top of her as she giggled and tangled her hand in my hair.

"Wow…and to think I thought it was good before. I can't believe just how much you had to hold back."

I chuckled and pressed my lips back to my mark on her neck. "Well I couldn't exactly take you like that before you were changed."

She pushed my hair out of my eyes and raised my head so I could look down at her. "Thank you."

I kissed her nose. "For what?"

"Thank you for being so careful with me before and for not being careful with me now. Thank you for wanting me with you forever and thank you for making it so I could be."

I gave her a soft kiss then. "Thank you for loving me despite what I am and for showing me that I'm not the monster I always thought I was. Thank you for wanting forever with me and for giving up so much to make it possible."

"It was worth it."

"I'll do my best to make sure that you always feel that way." I kissed her gently again, savoring her in a way I hadn't when I'd taken her moments ago.

A tinkling laugh penetrated my subconscious and I heard the unmistakable mental voice of Alice. _I left some clothes for both of you on the big rock to the north. You're welcome. _I laughed and sat up, tugging Bella from the tree. "Alice brought us some replacement clothes; I guess she saw this coming."

She giggled. "Or Jasper and Emmett clued her in."

"Good point. Come on, love, I know they're anxious to give you your presents, as am I."

"Wasn't this present enough?" A scowl stole over her beautiful face at the mention of presents. She was still my Bella and she still hated getting gifts.

"No, love, this wasn't a present, this was your everyday exercise regimen. I've got to keep you in shape so you can keep up with me."

She put her hands on her hips and scowled at me. "We'll see who has to keep up with whom, old man. I'm the strong newborn, remember?"

"How could I forget? Come on, I'll race you to our clothes and then home. Winner gets to pick the time and place of the next exercise." She laughed and took off to find her clothes, her hair flying behind her, the echoes of her giggles bouncing off the trees. I followed behind her, more than happy to let her win this time.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N Sorry again for the posting delay. Don't blame me, blame . Perhaps I need to change my posting day since the weekends seem to be an issue for the site! **

**Voting starts on the 27****th**** at The Shimmer Awards. My own Taste of Innocence has been nominated for best horror. Still not sure who did it but I appreciate the nomination. Even if you don't vote for me, go see the nominations, there are some really good stories there and I'm thrilled to be part of it.**

**I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I am truly thankful for everyone who reads and reviews and puts this story on alert. It means the world to me. Special thanks to recent reader/reviewers dazzled eyes22 and u2shay for commenting on every chapter. It thrilled me to no end and reminded me that I need to make a practice out of doing that myself. If anybody sent me comments on chapter 25 that I did not respond to, I apologize. I suspect some got lost along the way with the site fail. That's why I'm waiting to post this until I'm sure alerts are working properly. I am sorry if I missed anyone! Thanks for all your recommendations, by the way, I can't wait to check them out!  
**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 26

BPOV

There really was no other word for it other than "wow". Making love to Edward as a human versus as a vampire was like comparing night and day. I'd thought our sex life was pretty much as good as it could get before but now that I knew what I'd been missing all this time I was a little mad at him for not turning me sooner. But then, I couldn't really be mad at him because of just how difficult it must have been for him to even touch me before I was turned. I know that I was using entirely too much force when I touched him; had he been human I would surely have killed him without trying. He was amazing.

I watched him as we ran back to the house to celebrate my birthday. I rolled my eyes at the thought of another birthday celebration…my red eyes. That was just weird, looking in the mirror and seeing me but not really seeing me. I recognized myself, sure, but it was like looking at a prettier more polished sister with demon eyes. It was disconcerting, to say the least.

And just how was it that my husband, the picture of perfection to me with my human eyes, only got more incredible looking through my vampire ones? That didn't seem fair…I finally looked a little like I belonged at his side but then he had to get even better looking. He'd always be more beautiful, I guess. Still, he was mine.

Edward stopped running so I did too. That was another strange thing. I went from a dead run to a dead stop without any forward momentum. Three days ago I would have face planted; well more likely Edward would have caught me and stopped me from doing so, but still. Everything was just so different!

"How are you doing it, love?"

"Doing what?"

"Making everything seem so easy? Your typical newborn is completely unfocused but you seem just like you did before your change."

Was I? I didn't feel like anything was easy, my mind was wandering every which way. Even when I was hunting I hadn't failed to notice that I could actually see and hear things miles away. I swear I heard a beetle walking across a leaf. I felt bombarded by all the new sounds and sensations but I kept telling myself to focus and it mostly worked.

"I wouldn't say that it's easy, Edward. There's so much happening and it's hard to stay focused on one thing but I just tell myself to concentrate and I do."

He took my hand in his and kissed my palm. "You amaze me."

"So you're saying that once again, I'm not normal?" That figured, I was never a typical human and now I wasn't the usual vampire.

"Well I'm hardly one to define what is normal, for a vampire. As you know, I am not exactly traditional myself, but in this case, being abnormal is a good thing. If you were typical, we wouldn't have made love in the woods a few minutes ago."

"Well I'm glad I'm not normal then!"

He drew me into his arms and pressed his lips to mine. "As am I, love, as am I." Was it possible to want him again, already? I gripped his hair and increased the pressure of my lips on his. He winced a bit and pulled back from me. "Don't forget, you're a bit stronger than I am right now."

"Oh my God, did I hurt you? Did I hurt you in the woods? I kind of thought I might have but you didn't say anything and I got caught up in how good it felt and…"

"Bella, you didn't hurt me, you were just perfect."

"But I hurt you just now. How do I know when I'm using too much force?"

He caressed my cheek and I leaned into him. "You'll learn. It takes time but we'll all practice with you. Emmett, especially, will be helpful on that front. He's so strong and he had to learn how to channel it so that he could go to school with humans. We're all good at holding back but he's the best." Okay, I would get Emmett to teach me, which should be fun if nothing else.

"Edward, how are you doing?"

His brow wrinkled in confusion. "What do you mean, love?"

"How are you feeling now that I'm different?"

His face cleared and was transformed by a breathtaking smile. "You're not different, Bella. You're still you, at least to me. Yes, you're stronger and your appearance has changed a little, but you're still the same woman I love with every fiber of my being." Everything about me felt lighter with that declaration. "Did you honestly think my feelings for you would change?"

I shrugged. "Not really, I mean, I guess I sort of did but it wasn't really about not trusting your feelings for me? It was more like fear of the unknown. Does that make sense?"

Surprisingly, he laughed. "More than you know. While you were changing I was afraid that you would wake up and not remember who I was. When you said my name," he broke off and looked at me as if he was a drowning man and I was his lifeline, "it was one of the best moments of my life. I was nearly as relieved as I was when you woke up in that hospital bed after James' attack. If you didn't know me anymore, if you didn't love me anymore…I don't know what I would do."

I threw my arms around him. "I could never forget you! I'd forget my own name before I forgot you, Edward." He returned my embrace, pulling me too him tightly, as if he was trying to physically make me part of him. I buried my face in his neck and just breathed in his honey and sunshine scent. "My change was harder on you than it was on me, wasn't it?"

I felt his laugh rumble beneath me. "Yes, it probably was, but that's only thanks to Jasper. I'm sure if he hadn't been there, it would have been much harder on you and on me for that matter, because his presence helped keep me sane. Knowing you weren't hurting that badly helped me immeasurably, but it didn't stop all the worries that I'd done something wrong or that you wouldn't remember me or that you'd hate this life and hate me because you did."

I pulled back, gripping his shoulders tightly. I saw him wince and loosened my hold. "I'm sorry, but you have to know I will never, ever hate you. This was my choice…"

He cut me off. "_Our_ choice."

I smiled at those words, for it truly was. "Our choice then. You gave me what I asked for, Edward, just as you always do. Eternity with you is a gift I can't even begin to repay."

He pressed his lips to mine again. "I get the same gift, so I think we're pretty much even, don't you?" Rather than answering with words I answered with my body, pressing against him and pondering ruining another set of clothes. Surely Alice would see and…

"Bellaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Edwarddddddddddddddddd. No way are you going to make us wait any longer! And no, I will not bring you any more clothes if you shred them again. In fact, I will make sure all of us are stationed around your house so that we'll see you both in all your glory when you finally come home."

"Alice." Edward sighed. "She'll do it too. Of course, we could just stay in the woods indefinitely."

I laughed and pulled away from him, begrudgingly. "We'd better do what she says. Even if we stay out here forever, she'd see what we were doing and find a way to disrupt us anyway."

He laced his fingers with my own and we walked back toward home. "Come on, you have a birthday party awaiting you."

"Ugh, birthdays. I thought I was officially done with those."

"You thought that? With this family? With Alice? Really?" He sounded completely incredulous.

"Well, what would we celebrate birthdays for? None of us is getting any older now." I sounded petulant and I knew it but they all knew I hated parties. That didn't magically change along with the rest of me.

He drew my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it. "I will always celebrate your birth, both of them. One brought you to me; the other will keep you with me forever. Is that not worth celebrating?"

He had me but I growled at him. Holy crap, I growled! I tried it again and broke off in a laugh. "That is so cool!" Edward just shook his head at me and chuckled. "Listen, jaded vampire, this is all new to me and I'm going to enjoy it all!"

"Well, how about you enjoy running then? Alice is getting impatient and we both know that dealing with an irritable Alice is not remotely enjoyable." I took off, Edward right on my heels as we cleared the woods and approached the house. Sure enough, Alice was pacing back and forth in front of the building, a scowl on her pretty face.

"There you are! I've been waiting three days to celebrate Bella's new life and you make me wait longer? And then you think about making me wait some more? What is wrong with you two?" She threw her hands up and looked at both of us waiting for an answer.

"Um, sorry?" I didn't know what I was supposed to say, I wasn't sorry either. I wanted my husband and I had him. I want to have him again and she was keeping me from that. It was annoying but I didn't want to set her off by telling her so.

She narrowed her eyes at me. "You are not sorry, neither one of you is. Why I bother planning anything is beyond me. Nobody cooperates! It's all hormones and hunger and whining. Well that's enough; you can get back to your newlywed fun later; right now we're going to have a party."

"Partayyyyyyy!" I giggled at Emmett's roar from the living room.

"What kind of party are we even having, it's not like I want to have cake anymore. Do you have a dead deer in there?" I was joking but I kind of wasn't, even though I was full I still wanted more blood. Did the hunger ever abate?

"As if I would have some dead animal fouling up Esme's living room! What do you take me for? Just because we're not having food doesn't mean we can't have presents. Plus…" a look of hesitation crossed over her face.

"Plus what?"

She looked at me anxiously. "Your mother called and you really need to call Charlie. Do you think you can handle talking to them?" Could I? My mind kind of darted all over the place but talking on the phone I wouldn't be tempted to eat them, which was undoubtedly a good thing.

"I think so." What if my mom asked me about school? I was a terrible liar, that hadn't changed. What if Charlie asked when he was going to see me again? I wouldn't burst into tears but I would want to. What if Jake or Billy was with him when I talked to him? Would they know? Could vampires have panic attacks? It felt like I was having one although I didn't appear to be showing any outward signs of trouble because Alice and Edward were looking at me like I was perfectly fine.

Edward twined his arms around my waist and pulled me against him. I felt instantly calmer at his touch. "You can handle it, love."

"But what do I say about school when they ask? And about visiting?"

He squeezed me tightly and kissed my neck. "Just tell them that classes are going well. As for visiting, I think it's best to buy a little time there. Tell Charlie we plan on doing Thanksgiving here but you'll probably be home for Christmas." But I wouldn't be home for Christmas, ever again. I closed my eyes and let the guilt wash over me. I wasn't sorry for the choice I'd made but I was sorry that it was going to hurt people; especially my dad. He'd been such a rock for me over the past couple of years. I hated to hurt him.

"And when Christmas approaches?"

He turned me around and took my face between his hands, his golden eyes boring into mine. "We have two choices; you lie again and say we're going on holiday somewhere." He traced his thumb along my cheekbone. "Or we fake our deaths. Our plane could go down on the way to Forks maybe."

"No!" I could not do that to my father, he'd feel like my death was his fault. But I couldn't make him think I didn't want to spend time with him either. If I put him off about visiting he'd think that he didn't matter to me anymore. "We can't do it on the way to Forks. He'd blame himself." Why hadn't I thought of all this? We needed a plan.

"Bella, sweetheart, we have time. Just tell him that we won't be home for Thanksgiving. That buys us a couple of months to figure things out, okay?" Yes, we just needed time to plan everything.

"Okay. I'll tell him we're traveling over the holiday, since school will be out. But, do I sound different?"

"You still sound like you, Bella. Alice, reassure her will you?"

Alice's golden eyes unfocused for a moment as she looked ahead to see if I handled everything. "It's going to be fine, Bella. They're not going to notice a thing. You know your mother; she has more to tell you than you have to tell her. And your father has little to say. It's actually a wonder they didn't work out." I laughed, on the surface my father and mother did appear a little bit like Jasper and Alice but they didn't have that soul mate quality that those two possessed in spades.

The front door burst open and Emmett glared at us. "Are you going to stand outside having panic attacks all day or are you going to come in and celebrate with the rest of us?"

"We're coming!" His face melted into an impish grin as he ran over to me and scooped me up, carrying me inside with Alice and Edward trailing along behind us. "You were awesome against that bear, Bella! What did you think of it? Tell me everything!" He deposited me on the couch with a flourish and then sat on the coffee table, folding his hands between his massive tree trunk legs and looking at me with anticipation.

"Yes, Bella how was your first hunt?" Carlisle had his scientist face on again, looking exceedingly interested in everything I had to say.

I bit my lip and tried to think of an answer. "Well, it was weird." I had to be honest. "It went well I think. I took down the deer with no problem and the blood was alright. It didn't satisfy me, though, you know what I mean? It had this grassy taste?"

Emmett nodded and scrunched up his nose. "Herbivores. They just don't taste the same. Now about the bear?" I laughed at his excitement.

"It tasted better. There was a certain tanginess to the blood. It's hard to describe but it was more satisfying to me. Does that make sense?"

"Yes! And you know what's even cooler? Different breeds have different flavor!" Emmett was gesturing wildly, I cringed away afraid that he'd inadvertently smack me with one of his huge arms. "Grizzlies are the best; they are sweet and tangy at the same time. Black bears, well you tasted one of those. Polar bears are sugary sweet; I consider them to be like my version of ice cream!"

I frowned; I couldn't imagine myself eating a polar bear. They were so pretty. Then I thought of something. "Wait! Please tell me you haven't eaten a panda bear?" I had a thing for pandas, Charlie had bought me a stuffed panda before I was born and it was still in a box at his house.

"Heck no! They're endangered, for one thing. And they're herbivores, for another, may as well eat a deer."

Edward let out a loud laugh. "Why not tell her the third reason?"

Emmett crossed his arms. "There is no third reason."

"Oh yes there is!" Everyone in the family was snickering and I was left out again.

"What? You guys and your secrets! I'm family now too, you know. Let me in on the joke." I was irritated, I couldn't help it. They all knew each other so well and had so many years together. Would I ever not feel like an outsider?

Edward slipped an arm around me. "I'm sorry, love, I know it's frustrating for you. Em, tell her."

"Fine!" He huffed. "I won't eat a panda bear because I like them, okay? They're cute and cuddly and I don't want to kill one. I was going to try one, once, just because you know, I want to taste all bears, but I couldn't. I walked right up to him and he was sitting there eating bamboo and he was ripe for the picking but I couldn't do it." He frowned at all of us, his body rigid as if waiting for us to laugh at him.

Jasper stepped up. "Not only didn't he eat it, but he petted it and played with it for awhile."

"So? He was cool, okay? I made him that ball out of leaves and we batted it around a bit. So what?"

I reached over and took one of Emmett's balled up hands in my own. "Emmett? I think that's very sweet. I happen to love pandas and I'm glad you befriended him instead of hurting him." Emmett looked slightly mollified. "In fact, I hope this doesn't bother you but I kind of think of you like a panda bear. You're big but gentle and kind and cuddly." I bit my lip, hoping I didn't irritate him.

His face stretched in a mile wide grin and his dimples winked at me. He enveloped me in a hug, his giant body dwarfing mine. "I'll always be your panda bear, little sis!" I laughed and hugged him back. "Now, did you like the bear, for real?"

I hastened to assure him that I did. "Yes, Emmett, it was much better than the deer."

Alice giggled. "You should be honored, you know, Emmett doesn't give up bears, ever. I found one once and he came running over and took it out before I could even pounce!"

"What? I like bears! Everyone knows it! And don't make it sound like I didn't hook you up later, I found you a whole herd of deer, didn't touch one!"

"Because you ate my bear!" She stomped her little foot at the memory, causing the floor underneath us to rattle.

Emmett looked a little ashamed. "Everyone knows I eat the bears," he mumbled.

"Thank you for letting me try one, Emmett."

He grinned again. "Consider it one of your birthday presents; it probably won't happen again unless I find a different breed I want you to sample. Speaking of presents!" He raced off and was back in seconds with some packages in his arms. "Happy birthday, Bella!" He tossed a box at me and I flinched away from it instinctively but somehow my arm reached out and caught it. I blinked in surprise.

Emmett's laugh shook the room. "You actually have reflexes now. A day ago that totally would have hit you in the face unless Edward caught it for you." It was true. This vampire thing was full of benefits. I could hear better, see better, move faster…I just had to try not to be too overwhelmed by all the sights and smells around me. "That one's from me. Open it!"

I tried to remove the wrapping carefully but after I placed one finger underneath the seam all the paper ripped away. "Oops." Everyone laughed. I looked at the book in my lap. Why in the world would Emmett give me a self help book? "_The Key to Self Fulfillment?"_ Everyone started laughing, except Edward who was glaring at Emmett. "Um, thanks Emmett." He smiled brightly at me, looking so pleased with himself that I couldn't ask him why he thought I needed help. Maybe he was trying to pump up my self esteem.

"You're welcome. This is from Rose." He handed me another package, wrapped beautifully in pink paper. Alice's doing no doubt. I glanced over at Rosalie, who was sitting perched on the couch with her arms crossed. I was surprised she was giving me anything but wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Thanks, Rosalie."

She nodded at me. "It goes with Emmett's."

I again tore off the wrapping without using any effort whatsoever. It was another book. At least this one made sense, when you considered the person giving it to me anyway. "_The Key to Sexual Satisfaction." _I was absurdly grateful that I could no longer blush because I knew I'd be bright red right now. Edward growled as everybody else started cracking up with laughter, though Carlisle and Esme both tried to contain their laughter somewhat; I saw Esme bite her lip and Carlisle covered his mouth as if he were coughing. I put my hand on Edward's knee and gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry; I won't ever have use for this one." I whispered it to him even though I knew they could all hear me anyway. Rose just smirked at me.

"There's a whole chapter dedicated to the cli…"

Edward cut her off. "Enough, Rose!"

"Just trying to help, brother dear." Rose looked and sounded like the cat that ate the canary.

I quickly stepped in before Edward could get any angrier with her. "Okay, what's next?" As if I was that anxious to get more gifts.

Alice shot a wary glance between Rose and Edward but danced over to me with a bright yellow package in her arms. "This is from me. Here, I'll open it!" And before I could attempt to open it myself, the paper was gone and a scrapbook was before me. The cover was a wedding picture of Edward and me, taken during our first kiss. I melted at the site of the happiness on both of our faces.

"Oh, Alice, thank you!" I flipped through the pages, pictures that chronicled my relationship with Edward; pictures from prom and us at the house and even a few Edward had taken of us in the meadow. It was perfect. Edward's rigid form relaxed next to me as he took in the photos. A sudden flash caused us both to look up at a grinning Alice, taking yet another photo of us. "For the next book!"

I laughed. "I don't know if I want to see the red eyes but it'll be fun to look at the differences as the years go by." Edward's hand caressed my back as he looked at the pictures.

He touched a photo of us dancing at our wedding. "So beautiful." He looked up at me and cupped my face in his hands. "So beautiful." He pressed his lips to mine and I forgot where we were for a moment. I was brought back into reality by the sound of Emmett clearing his throat, loudly. I frowned at him and pulled away, resigning myself to not being alone with my husband until later.

Jasper came up and handed me a small package, looking almost shy as he did so. I took it and was thankful that there was no paper, it was just a box. I lifted the lid and gently brought out the contents. It was a gold button with a clasp on it. It was pretty but I wasn't sure quite what I was supposed to do with it.

"It's a charm, for your bracelet." Oh, the bracelet that Jacob had given me. I hadn't worn it since that fateful day in the woods, when he kissed me and I had to tell him goodbye. "I know you haven't worn it lately but you have the heart from Edward on there and the wolf from Jacob and I wanted you to have something from me. I thought you'd want to wear it, to remember." I did actually but I didn't want Edward to feel bad about it.

He smiled gently at me. "I think it's a lovely gift, don't you Bella?" It was his way of telling me he didn't mind if I wore it.

"It's wonderful, Jasper, I can't wait to put it on. What does the button signify?"

"It's from my confederate uniform." I stared at him in astonishment. He was giving me something that was well over a hundred years old, something he'd had forever. He smiled gently. "I gave Alice my sash the day I met her and I thought I'd give you something special to me to welcome you fully into the family." I stood up and wrapped my arms around him, truly touched that he would give me something that important to him.

"Thank you, Jasper." Alice beamed at him and clapped her hands at my reaction.

"I told him you'd love it! Here, this is from Esme!" She handed me another package that I tore into carefully. It was another photo album, but this one was from my youth.

"I got the pictures from Renee and Charlie and put it together for you. I got copies made and gave them each a book as well." I swallowed the lump in my throat and threw my arms around her. Now I'd always have pictures of myself and my parents, no matter how many years went by. Esme enveloped me in her soft embrace, still holding me gently as if I was the fragile human I'd been the last time we hugged. I would have been crying if I could. It felt weird not to have the release of tears at this moment. No crying, no blushing, no longer a klutz but somehow I was still me. It was very surreal.

"My turn, I guess." Carlisle handed me a gold box tied with a ribbon. I yanked on it but instead of untying it split open. Fortunately I held the box in my left hand so it didn't fall toward the ground. I lifted the lid and was at an immediate loss for words again. There, nestled into the cotton, was a Cullen crest pendant, just like Rose, Alice and Esme wore. It was on a silver chain. I lifted it out and Carlisle took it from me and slipped it over my head.

"I would have given this to you earlier, for you've been a part of our family for two years now, but Alice convinced me to wait until you were officially one of us. I hope that it's okay?" I just nodded mutely and wrapped my arms around him. I was one of them. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head and returned my hug.

"You know I'm not big on gifts but you all have gone above and beyond. This is the best birthday, ever."

"It's not over yet, love. I still have some things for you." I frowned at Edward; he knew I didn't need him to get me anything. He chuckled at my predictable reaction. "Don't worry, one I've had for awhile and it's really part of our bargain, the others are small and purely for my enjoyment." Well that was cryptic. What had he done now? "I'll go get it, why don't you call your parents while I do?"

Nerves immediately returned at the idea of calling Renee and Charlie. Still, it was better to get it over with. Emmett tossed my cell phone from across the room, firing it at me like it'd been shot out of a canon. I caught it but when I closed my hand around it I heard a distinctive crunching noise. I opened my hand and the phone was in pieces. "Oops, my bad! Sorry, little sis, I didn't think about the fact that you have no concept of your strength yet." That was an understatement. I frowned down at the phone remnants in my hand.

Alice sighed and brought her phone over to me. "Here, use mine. But I'm going to dial and hold the phone!" She pressed in a number and put the phone on speaker. I bit my lip worriedly as the ringing was cut off by the sound of my mother's voice.

"_Hello?" _

My mouth opened but nothing came out. _Come on, Bella, you can do this. It's just a phone conversation. She doesn't know that anything has changed, act like it hasn't. Stay calm and focus!_

"Hi, Mom."

"_Hi, baby! Happy birthday! I can't believe you're nineteen today! I can't believe I'm old enough to have a nineteen year old. Well, I'm really not, of course, I was so young when I had you. Don't you do the same, Bella. Live a little. You're using protection, aren't you?" _Oh God. Emmett and Jasper snickered while Rose smirked at me.

"Mom, you're on speaker phone and don't worry about it."

"_Hi everyone! And course I'll worry about it. I'm far too young to be a grandmother. Is Carlisle there?"_

Carlisle squeezed my shoulder. "Yes, Renee, I'm here, we were just giving Bella her gifts." Nice attempt at a redirect Carlisle. Too bad I know my mother and it won't work.

"_Oh, good. Carlisle, you've put Bella on the pill right? I assume you're her doctor and if not, you can still get her a prescription for birth control. We don't want any accidents." _If I hadn't just technically died I would surely die as I listened to my mother ask my father-in-law about contraception.

"Uh, yeah, it's taken care of, Renee. Nothing to worry about there." Carlisle shifted awkwardly and sent me a look of quiet panic.

"I'll say!" Emmett muttered. Jasper butted him with his shoulder to keep him quiet.

"_Good! Now, baby, I can't believe we haven't talked in the past couple of weeks. It's my fault, of course, I lost my phone. Again. Can you believe it?" _Yes, I could. Renee was always losing things, including me when I was little. "_So, tell me all about Paris! Did you have that spontaneous sex like I suggested?"_

"Mom! We are not talking about this right now." Edward was back from wherever he'd gone to get my present, chuckling quietly at the topic he'd walked in on.

"_Well really, Bella, it's not like they don't all know you're having sex! You're newlyweds! I'm not asking for details…yet. I'm just asking if you gave it a try and if it was everything I told you it would be."_

I sighed; if I didn't answer she'd only keep asking. "Yes, mother."

"_Yes to both questions?"_

"Yes!"

"_So, outside then?"_

"Mom, you said you weren't going to ask for details." I closed my eyes as Edward's arms snaked back around me, pulling me to him and kissing me softly on the cheek.

"_I'm not asking for a play by play, Bella. I just want to know if you were outside."_

I turned around and buried my head in Edward's neck, inhaling his scent and longing to be alone with him. He stroked my hair and answered for me. "Yes, Renee, we were in the woods in the rain." I looked up at him in shock. "Let's just say that I'm immune to your mother's questioning at this point, Bella," he whispered to me. She must really have done a number on him at the wedding.

"_Thank you, Edward. It's nice that somebody will answer my questions with more than two words."_

Emmett grinned mischievously. "That time!"

"_Who is that?"_

Emmett ran over and snatched the phone out of Alice's hand. "It's Emmett, Mrs. Dwyer."

"_Oh please dear, call me Renee. What did you mean by that time?"_

I shook my head at him frantically and Edward said his name quietly but there was no stopping Emmett without creating a scene. "I mean that they just went at it in the woods about an hour ago." I groaned and buried my face back in Edward's neck.

"_Really?" _My mother's voice came out in a purr. _"And how do you know?"_

"Jasper and I were with them, uh, hiking." He shot a glance nervously around the room as he refrained from telling why we were really in the woods. "Edward and Bella just looked at each other and it was like they were the only two there. Edward told us to get lost so we did. I inferred the rest. Well, that and Bella came back with leaves in her hair." I was going to kill him. I was stronger than him now and he was a dead man.

"_Well, that is wonderful! See, Bella, I told you spontaneous outdoor sex was incredible! Now, you took your pill today right? You have to be timely with these things." _Lord would she get off the pregnancy kick? Rosalie was glaring around the room every time she hinted at potential babies.

"Yes, Mom. Now can we talk about something else?"

"_Well I was going to tell you about Phil and me at the beach the other night but…"_

"Renee! I don't want to hear about you and Phil and I don't want everyone else to do so either."

My mother sighed. _"How I ended up with such a conservative daughter I'll never know. Fine, then, did you like your presents? Esme gave you the photo album right? She sent me one as well, it's so cute!"_

I took an unnecessary breath to calm myself. It was weird not to have to breathe but it felt strange not to. "Yes, I loved it, Mom. Thanks for giving Esme the pictures."

"_Oh you're welcome, baby! I'm so glad you liked it. It was a blast going through all your old baby pictures, you were so adorable. I was so young and had no idea what to do with you but you were the best baby, quiet and content, watching the world go by with your big brown eyes." _They weren't brown anymore. _"Don't go getting any ideas from those pictures though, baby. You're not ready to be a mother."_

Dear Lord, she was like a broken record. "I'm not getting any ideas, Mom. Please, enough with the baby talk!" Rose was muttering to herself about how that would never be an issue for me and I didn't need Renee to hear any of it.

"_Alright, tell me how classes are." _I froze and Edward stroked my cheek again, soothing my nerves.

"Classes are great, Mom. We're just getting started but I really like my literature and creative writing classes." I knew I would, were I attending them.

"_That's great, Bella. And how do you like New Hampshire?"_

Now that was a question I could answer honestly. "I love it here, Mom. We're surrounded by mountains and forest. Edward and I have our own small house behind the main one; it was a present from Esme and Carlisle. It's amazing."

"_Oh, Bella, that's wonderful! I'm sure you and Edward need your privacy." _

No, we were not going down that road again. "Yeah, it's nice. Listen Mom, I have to go call Charlie now, try to catch him before he heads out for the day."

"_Good luck with that, he's probably already out on the lake! You give him a call, baby, and take care okay? I'll talk to you soon. Don't forget to take your pill! Love you!"_

"I love you too, Mom." I breathed a sigh of relief when Emmett pressed disconnect on the phone but it was short-lived. "Just what did you think you were doing telling her that we were having sex in the woods?"

Emmett shot me an innocent smile. "What? She wanted to know, I made her day right there!"

I growled at him, enjoying the look of surprise that stole over his face. "It's nobody's business what Edward and I do in the woods."

He laughed at me and I lunged forward. Edward's arms tightened around me, trying to hold me in place. I knew I could get away from him if I wanted to but I refrained for now. "Bella, welcome to the world of being a vampire, this is how it is. We can hear you from a few miles away. You'll hear us, we'll hear you. Privacy is not a way of life for you anymore." I leaned against Edward and tightened my grip on his arms that were holding me. He was right but I didn't have to like it.

"Still, you didn't have to tell my mother."

The amusement died out of Emmett's face and he stepped toward me cautiously, watching to make sure I wasn't going to attack him. "You don't have a lot of time left for talking to your mother, Bella." I flinched at his words, knowing they were right but not really wanting to hear them. "She wants to know that you're having a good time and that you're happy. She knows that now." The fight completely drained out of me. He was right; Renee needed to know that I was content before I was gone forever.

"You're right, Emmett. I don't think you went about it the right way, but thank you for letting her know that I'm happy."

He grinned and ruffled my hair. "Now let's call Charlie!"

"Emmett, don't you even think about mentioning forest sex or sex of any kind to my father. Edward won't be able to hold me back if you do."

He laughed. "I wouldn't do that to you, or to Charlie. No father wants to know about his daughter's sex life, even I know that."

"Charlie's on speed dial eight." Alice piped up. It was cute that she had Charlie programmed into her phone, I know that was so she could hound him during wedding planning. Emmett hit speaker and the button to call Charlie.

"_Hello? Alice?" _I giggled; there was a note of fear in Charlie's voice, like he thought she was going to yell at him for something.

"Hi, Dad, it's me. Well all of us, really, we're just using Alice's phone. Mine's dead." Literally, I'd crushed it to dust, if he only knew.

"_Hi, Bells! Happy birthday!" _The excitement in his voice made me smile.

"Thanks, Dad. Thank you for the pictures you sent, Esme made me a really nice album."

"_I know, she sent me a copy, it's beautiful. So are the wedding pictures, Alice sent me a book of those as well. Thanks, Alice." _

"You're welcome, Charlie!" she piped back. "Did you get your tux dry cleaned?" She shook her head at me, knowing the answer.

"_Uh, yes, of course Alice." _Her eyes narrowed at his lie and I giggled again. _"So, what are you doing for your birthday, Bella?"_

"I don't know yet."

Alice stepped in. "The usual, Charlie; a nice meal, cake, maybe a movie. We've done most of the presents already."

"_Oh well, that sounds nice. How's school going?"_

"It's great, I really like my classes." I didn't really want to elaborate and fortunately Charlie wasn't the type to ask me to do so.

"_Well, good, I'm glad you like it there. Listen, Bells, I've got to head to Billy's, we're due to hit the water soon."_

"Okay, Dad, have a good time." I hesitated for a second but then said it anyway. "Tell Billy I said hi."

"_Will do, Bells. You have a good birthday and I'll talk to you soon."_

"I will, Dad. I love you."

"_Love you too, Bells. Bye."_

I felt a little choked up as Emmett disconnected the call. Edward pressed a kiss to the back of my head and ran his fingers through my hair. "You did well, love." I had. Lying still wasn't easy for me but neither of my parents seemed to notice anything was different when they talked to me. It didn't make it any easier knowing that I didn't have a lot of time left to talk to them. "Would you like the rest of your presents?"

I worked up a nod and a smile for him. "Sure." He placed a set of keys in my hand and pointed toward the front door. "More keys?" Everyone but Edward started snickering. Emmett hummed "The Farmer in the Dell" for some unknown reason and Alice and Rose started laughing hysterically. I raised my eyebrow at them but nobody clarified what was so funny. Carlisle tried to look at the girls disapprovingly but he had a slight smile on his face. I sighed, resigned to the fact that I was missing something, probably from decades ago and followed everyone outside and took in the sight of my new car. Edward had been true to his word, replacing my truck with something sleek and beautiful and undoubtedly fast.

"What do you think, Bella?"

"It's pretty." It was too, a dark blue convertible. I knew nothing about cars but judging from the way Rosalie was openly salivating over it, I guessed it was a good car.

"A Mercedes Roadster!" She ran her hand over the fender lovingly. "Such a perfect machine." She shot another glare at me. "It'll be wasted on her, Edward, she drives like a grandmother!"

"Rose!" Edward stepped in front of me, finally losing his temper at Rosalie's attitude.

"Rosie." Emmett stepped in, trying to play peacemaker. "It's Bella's birthday and this is one of her presents. Maybe if you were nice about it, she'd let you take it for a spin. Right, Bella?" He looked at me beseechingly.

"Sure, Rose, you can take it out anytime, if you want." It was just a car and if it would make her happy she could have it. I didn't want this constant fighting.

Rosalie eyed me warily, her eyes darting between me and the car. "Sorry." It was all she said but it was more than I expected from her.

I nodded and tossed her the keys. "Have fun." Emmett mouthed a silent "thank you" at me as Rose got into the car and he got in with her. She tore out of the driveway, spraying gravel as she punched the car in gear. We all watched as they drove off.

"You didn't have to do that, you know. She doesn't deserve to drive it with the way she's been acting."

I turned to Edward and slipped my hand in his. "It was a way to make peace, even if it's only temporary. Thank you for the car, it's beautiful."

"You should be the one out driving it first, not her."

"That's not important to me, you know that."

"Still…" I silenced him with a kiss.

"We'll take it out later, on our _own_."

He smiled seductively at me, instantly catching my meaning. "We'll christen it a different way, huh?" The rest of our family started laughing and I nodded. "Okay, let's go see your other presents."

"There's more? Edward!"

"One is from all of us, come on." He hauled me towards our house. What could possibly be in there? Then I saw the glee on Alice's face.

"More clothes?"

She skipped ahead of me. "Of course! I filled your guest room closet!"

"That's not what I'm talking about." Edward pulled me into the office, where our computers and desk sat. There, lining one whole wall, were four huge oak book cases, already filled with tons of books. A couch and recliner sat in front of the roaring fireplace. It was a perfect room to curl up and read. "This is from all of us."

"Well, that explains Emmett's book I guess!" Jasper roared with laughter, clutching the couch to keep himself upright. Mystifying.

Edward silenced him with a look. "Yes, he wanted to give you something that would tie in to your library."

"This is perfect, thank you all so much!" I hugged Esme and Carlisle and Jasper. When I got to Alice she redirected me toward the closet.

"These are your clothes; they're organized by occasion and color. Casual here, dressy here, formal here. They're further broken down into designers. Here's Armani, Gucci…"

"Alice, you know I don't know the difference between any of these. What am I going to need all these clothes for?"

"It pays to be prepared, Bella." She put her hands on her hips and frowned at me. "Don't you like them?"

Looking to appease her, I ran my hand over a cashmere sweater. "Yes, Alice, they're lovely. I'm sure you'll tell me what to wear, when?"

She lit up at that. "Of course! For now, why don't you try on the Prada dress with the Badgley Mischka heels?" Edward chose that moment to save me.

"I still have a couple more presents to give her." For once I was happy with his excessive gift giving.

He led me back to the couch and handed me two small boxes. I opened the first and smiled. It was a bellybutton ring with a little gold book dangling from it. "Edward, it's adorable!"

"I had it rush ordered; Alice took care of it for me." Of course, he didn't leave my side while I was bedridden undergoing my change.

I opened the other box. Sure enough, it was another bellybutton ring but this one had an E & B intertwined. It was lovely. "I love it, I really do!" I pressed my lips to his.

"I'm glad." He wrapped his arms around me.

Alice nudged Jasper. "The lovebirds want to be alone. We're going to take off now, enjoy your new library!" I thanked everyone again as they took their leave and settled back with my head on Edward's shoulder.

"This was the best birthday I've ever had."

He kissed the top of my head. "It was just the first of many, my love." I pressed my lips to his and he pushed me back on the couch, making my birthday even better.

* * *

This weeks rec is Just Wait by InstantKarmaGirl. Bella moves to Forks after having lived a rocky life with her mother. We don't know much about her background but it's clear that Renee was abusing her. Edward is painfully shy and has a terrible stutter. He's picked on because of it. Both of them are in therapy with Esme and have to go to group meetings on Friday nights at the Cullen house. They're paired together and a friendship of sorts forms. It's not an easy read; drugs and sex and abusive backgrounds come into play but it's a lovely story that's a VERY slow burn and takes the time to really build a relationship for E&B that is sweet and believable. Check it out and let me know what you think.

Also, my fabulous beta, rameau, has just started posting her first full length Twilight pic. It's called Amorous Conundrums for Dichotomous Creatures, AC/DC for short. It's a very different story from any I've read, AH, and it explores the idea of soul vs. body when it comes to relationships. I won't tell you anymore than that because it would give things away, just give it a chance. Her words are stunning in their beauty and simplicity.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N Happy 2010 everyone! I hope the New Year is being kind to all of you so far. This is another Bella journal chapter since I wanted to cover a month's time in this chapter. You may think me slightly insane when you read about Bella's training but I think it's fun. Let me know what you think!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 27

BPOV

_From Breaking Dawn, the Story of Edward & Isabella Cullen, October 13__th__, 2005_

A month has gone by since I died. Or since I was reborn? Or changed? I don't really know how to refer to it. I guess I'll just say a month has gone by since I became a vampire. No, that's not remotely weird to write! I've been pretty lapse in writing things down since I changed but I was pretty much incapable for awhile anyway. My thoughts were all over the place, for one thing, and for another I was physically incapable of using a pen. I crushed countless of them before I finally got the hang of it, thanks to Emmett's unflagging patience. Fortunately since I now have this endless memory it's not a problem getting my thoughts down days and weeks after the fact.

All these changes have been very disconcerting though I am starting to get more comfortable in my own skin. That, of course, is thanks to my family. I can't imagine what it must have been like for Carlisle, Alice and Jasper, who all had to go through the changes alone. Well Jasper wasn't really alone but it's not like Maria was worried about teaching him how to control himself so he could someday function in society.

Those first few days after my transformation were so surreal. Everything was brighter, louder and harsher. I know now why they refer to a newly changed vampire as being a newborn. I think it must be the same way for a baby having just emerged from its mother's womb. The sights and sounds are startling and make the infant cry. I can't cry anymore but I sure felt like it, countless times. Do you know how frustrating it is to want to cry but to be incapable of it?

It's not that I'm unhappy with this life I've chosen, not in the least. The majority of the time I completely adore it. I have a husband who treats me like I'm some priceless treasure, cherishing me with his words and his body and I have a huge family that accepts me as if I've always been one of them. I've grown so close to Jasper and Emmett these past few weeks; they're the big brothers I always wished I had; fiercely protective, loyal, funny and honest; neither one of them sugarcoated things when they were working with me. If I messed up, they told me and made me start again.

Alice, of course, is as close to me as ever. Closer, probably. She seeks me out after a training session and eases me out of whatever frustrations I'm harboring as a result of feeling inadequate. She does this by teasing me, needling me into girly time and pushing me to talk about sex. She's so like my mother sometimes that I can't help but laugh; even when I'm uncomfortable. I'm learning, though, that being uncomfortable about sex in this family is pointless. We're all having it and we're all hearing it from time to time, so what is there to hide?

Esme and Carlisle have both been wonderful. Esme turned me loose on her flowers, letting me plant my own garden. It sounds simple enough, of course, but it's not remotely easy. I made huge holes in the ground when I was just attempting to dig spots to plant flowers. That was fixable, I just dumped the majority of the dirt back in but then…those poor flowers. I killed countless flowers. Marigolds, gladiolas, roses, daffodils…nothing was spared. I killed them just by picking them up and using too much force. If I was lucky enough to pick one up without destroying it, I would then do it anyway when I pushed it into the earth. I pushed them in, alright, about 6 feet underground. At least that fits with a burial. Okay, I'm exaggerating a bit but they didn't survive. Poor flowers. Esme didn't care though, she'd just hand me another flower and tell me to try again. I'm sure the people at the nursery were curious about the numerous trips and voluminous amount of flowers Esme purchased from them!

For his part, Carlisle has answered any and all questions that I have put forth and sought to put me at ease with this emotional roller coaster I've been on. He swears that it's normal to feel like I'm out of control but that I'm really not, at least not like a "typical newborn." That's another frustrating thing, not being "typical". I feel like they're all watching me, cataloguing my reactions to situations and comparing them to the norm. They tell me I shouldn't want to be a regular newborn, that all I'd be was hungry all the time. Well I am hungry all the time but I seem to be able to deal with it the same way they do. I eat when I need to. It was daily but now I've got it down to every three or four days. I'm told a week is their usual feeding schedule so I'm getting closer.

Of course, one way that I'm glad I'm not normal is when it comes to sex. I was always told it took about a year before a newborn was able to focus on that particular hunger but that's not the case for me. In fact, my hungers seem to tie into one another. Every time I sate the thirst for blood my thirst for Edward wells up. It's pretty bad; the rest of the family can't go hunting with the two of us anymore. I can't help it though, something about eating brings out the animal in me and I look over at Edward, watching me with those hungry black eyes and I pounce.

Being with him now is incredible. I couldn't really touch him before; I was both shy and apprehensive that I might do something that would set him off. And I certainly never got to taste him; he was afraid of hurting me so I never got to reciprocate. Now I do though! His taste is intoxicating; I could literally eat him alive. There is nothing better than sinking my lips into that honey flavored skin and feeling those steel muscles bunch underneath me. We haven't returned from one hunting trip with a stitch of clothing on. I've tried to go hunting with Jasper and Alice but as soon as I eat I have to find Edward. It's a compulsion, replacing one hunger with another. I honestly hope that never changes and so does Edward, not surprisingly.

My relationship with Rosalie is no better but it's also no worse. We mostly just avoid one another and if we're in the same room we don't engage in any dialogue. It's easier that way. She has occupied herself with my car, tinkering with the engine and giving it more power, which I don't think is needed but I wasn't going to argue. She doesn't say a word about the time I'm spending with Emmett, at least not around me, so I guess that's a good sign. Maybe. Who knows? I get tired just thinking about it.

Not that I can do anything about being tired anymore. It is so strange not to be able to sleep. I still lie in my bed sometimes but my mind just whirls. I think a lot about Charlie and Renee and some about Jake. The time for my "death" approaches; we've decided it'll happen right after Thanksgiving. I hate what it's going to do them. Renee has Phil but Charlie has nobody. I know Billy and Jake will be there for him but he's all alone in that house. I wish he'd find someone to love. He never got over my mother. We're so similar in that way, I guess, because I know that had Edward not returned I would never have gotten over him either. A Swan's love seems to be forever, regardless of the circumstances. Thank God for that on my part but I wish Dad had some happiness. Every time I talk to him I worry; he's back to the diner and the lodge and delivery for meals. He needs someone to take care of him. Of course when I suggested that we could hire someone to cook for and look after him he balked. I started to get upset at that but Edward rightly pointed out I would have had the same reaction if the situation was reversed.

I worry about him so much and the biggest worry is how he's going to handle news of my death. Alice is no help, she can't see because of Billy and Jake's presence which I guess is somewhat comforting but I still need to know he'll be okay. I still have time to change my mind about letting him think that I died but isn't the other option worse? Let him think I don't want to spend time with him now that I have my new family? It's so hard to know what to do, what is right. What's right for me is wrong for him and I'm a selfish person for putting myself first but I can't be sorry for it. Every time I look at Edward I know I made the right choice, it just wasn't an easy one. I just really don't want Charlie to think that I'm indifferent to him, long term that has to hurt more. It would me.

Renee's going to be alright. Alice can see her just fine. Phil has always been good for her and he'll be a rock when she needs him. She's always been resilient. Alice says they're thinking about having a baby…I'm not sure how to feel about that. On the one hand it will feel kind of like a replacement child but on the other hand it would surely help my mother to have someone new to take care of. I think she'll honestly be a more attentive mother this time around; she's older and wiser now. And she'd totally kill me if she ever read this!

Another thing weighing on me is my power, or lack thereof. They're all watching and waiting for whatever it is that I may be able to do. I don't feel like I can do anything but Alice is quite sure that I have some ability; she's just not sure what. She says she can't tell until I know and use it. Lovely. That's not remotely helpful. Every day Emmett asks me if I feel like I can melt something with the power of my mind or if I can whip up some fire in the fireplace and such. He's been watching The X-Men and Heroes lately trying to figure out what I can do. Edward says Emmett's really hoping I have some kind of offensive power like Jane does, except he wants it to be cooler and involve fire. I wish I could accommodate him; this not knowing is frustrating. I don't feel anything different, other than the obvious improvements to my sight and speed and strength.

The strength has been the hardest thing by far to learn to control but I'm finally there thanks to Emmett primarily. Esme's flower tutorials helped but Emmett has been my main teacher. Every day he hauls me out into the woods and takes me through some kind of strength drill. The first one drew from my little mishap with the cell phone. He bought a hundred disposable cell phones and threw them at me without any kind of warning. I'd be doing something ridiculous like holding a boulder that weighed several hundred pounds and out of nowhere he'd chuck a phone at me, yelling "catch". Needless to say, the first time this happened it resulted in chaos, with me dropping the boulder on my foot and smashing the cell phone between both my hands. It didn't hurt, of course, but it was not a remotely successful attempt. Emmett, however, had a fine time laughing at my expense.

The second attempt was no better; he had me doing a handstand, a one-handed handstand mind you, and asked me to catch the phone then. Amazingly, I was able to do it without lifting my other hand or falling but I still crushed the phone when I caught it. And it went on and on with no success. Out of a hundred phones, zero survived. That's me, Bella Cullen: Cell Phone Killer. It didn't help that he decided to throw most at me when I was out hunting with Jasper and Alice! There I was, blithely running through the forest, trying to catch the scent of deer or some other more alluring animal and a cell phone would come out of nowhere and whiz past my head. Much to my amazement, I caught it every time. Heck, I could hear the thing coming through the air. Vampire hearing is incredible. It didn't matter that I heard it though, or that I caught it because it smashed every time. No matter what I did; open palm, one hand, two hands, just catching it with two fingers. All crushed. Emmett just let out that gut busting laugh of his, shaking the trees and sending birds away in panicked flight and assured me I'd get it eventually.

And eventually I did but it wasn't the cell phones that made the difference. No, Emmett decided that I needed something that I might value more than a cheap electronic phone device. It had to be something I cared about. I'll be honest and say I was scared to death he was going to get something cute and sweet to throw at me, like puppies or kittens or something. Thankfully he didn't go quite that far but he went for something similar. I'm going to document the whole thing word for word because it's too good not to get down on paper.

"Hey little sis, can you make it snow today?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not Storm from The X-Men, Emmett."

"That's too bad, it's really cool how her eyes get white and then she makes the wind roar and…"

I cut him off, if I didn't I'd be listening to the plot of one of the X-Men comic books he'd been reading. I'd made that mistake before and I knew far more about Wolverine and Jean Gray than I'd ever wanted to at this point. "Don't we have a lesson to attend to?"

His face glowed with excitement. "We do, come with me!" He darted into the woods and I ran after him, catching him quickly. The only one of my family that I couldn't keep up with was Edward, much to my chagrin. Of course, we had fun with it, me chasing him through the trees and getting close enough to him to almost touch him before he would dart away. I'd finally give up and pout over the fact that I couldn't keep up with him and he'd run back to me and pounce on me. "I may be faster but you'll always be able to reach me because I'll never run away from you." Then he'd kiss me passionately and I'd forget all about running.

Emmett stopped in a clearing that reminded me a bit of the meadow except for the lack of flowers or pretty much anything. It was just brown grass, already damaged from the first frost of the season and a ring of trees, most of which had no leaves since fall was quickly coming to an end and winter was approaching. A strange looking pile caught my eye but before I could decipher what I was seeing Emmett was walking towards it. I followed quickly, anxious to see what he had in store for me.

"Bella, meet Edward, Jr.!" Emmett's smile was a mile wide as he thrust some strange baby doll at me, flipping a switch as he did so. I jerked in surprise when the doll blinked and let out a loud yell, starting to drop it but my reflexes kicked in and it only fell an inch before I had it in my hands again. It was actually squirming and I had to bring it closer to my body so it wouldn't fall out of the light grip I had on it. Amazingly, the doll had a shock of disheveled copper hair, very similar to Edward's.

"Emmett, what is this?" I hissed at him, wondering why we were playing house when I was supposed to be working on controlling my strength.

"Training, of course." He blinked at me, the picture of innocence. "You keep crushing the cell phones so I figured we'd upgrade. This thing looks like a baby and sounds like a baby and even feels like a baby. So we're going to pretend he's your baby and you have to do your best not to injure him. If you do, your baby dies."

"He's not my baby!" I won't lie, I felt uncomfortable with this squirming doll in my arms. I didn't have a lot of experience with babies and I'd never really wanted to.

"For our intents and purposes, he is your baby. Yours and Edwards which means you would love him above anything else." He was right of course, if Edward and I could have a baby I would undoubtedly do anything for him, but we couldn't so it was best not to think about such things.

"Well if we're going to pretend that I'm the mother of this freaky doll, why did we have to come out here to do it?" It was totally creepy, these big green eyes kept blinking at me and the mouth made little suckling noises. It was far too real but too fake at the same time, it kind of freaked me out.

"Two reasons. Rose would kill me if she saw these dolls and I don't really want to make her angry or make her feel bad about the children issue." I felt chagrined that I'd asked as some of his excitement over the silly doll had slipped out of his face. "Secondly, we needed the space."

"Tell me you are not going to throw that baby at me the same way that you did the cell phones." Chucking a human looking doll at me at a hundred miles per hour sounded like something Emmett would enjoy doing.

"Not exactly." He took the creepy doll out of my hands and the sudden movement must have startled the thing because it began wailing, piercing shrieks that sounded through the clearing. "There, there Eddie, Junior, it's going to okay." Emmett held the baby to his neck and patted it on the back; it was the most surreal sight ever. The doll quieted and he grinned at me. "You know, he bears a remarkable resemblance to our Edward. Before you came along he was just as moody as this kid is."

"Where ever did you find this thing? And how come it has Edward's hair?"

"I ordered a bunch of them from some birthing supply store online. They use them in schools to prevent teenage pregnancy and also in some parenting classes. Alice may have helped me make some modifications so that Edward Junior would resemble his father. Now, enough questions, it's time for training."

Before I could blink he was gone, clambering up the tallest tree in the clearing, the baby tucked under his arm. I could hear the thing wailing again from down below and suppressed a sigh. What was the point? Emmett was off and running. "Okay, Mommy Bella, Little Eddie is trapped in a burning building. I, the brave, strong, handsome, sexy firefighter, have found him but there's no exit. There's no saving me, so I shall die heroically rescuing your child. I have to throw him out of the window; the entire room behind me is engulfed in flames. Are you ready to save your child?"

He was so ridiculous, grinning at me from fifty feet up with the baby doll cradled in his huge hands; I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm for his scenario. He hammed it up further by coughing and clutching at his chest as if he was unable to breathe. "Smoke asphyxiation! I have to get him down to you now, Bella, or he won't make it. Catch your beloved son!"

With that he dropped the doll, its wails increasing in strength the closer it got to me. They must have done some tinkering to the thing to have it shrieking like it had been tortured. I raced to the area below the tree, arriving in plenty of time to catch the doll, just waiting. I kept telling myself to have a loose grip when it arrived, just to take the force into my arms and not my hands like Emmett kept telling me. I told myself that over and over as Edward Junior plummeted towards me. Crap, I was thinking of it as Edward Junior now. Well, maybe it would help.

Not so much though, because as soon as I caught him, as soon as I felt that plastic in my hands, I tightened my grip just a hair too much and Edward Junior's head shattered in my hands. Pieces of plastic rained on the ground below. On the bright side, the doll was no longer crying. Emmett was down beside me as soon as I processed what I'd done.

"You killed Eddie Junior." His face was grave; his expression accusatory as if I'd literally killed my child in front of him.

"Emmett! It was an accident. And he's not my son!"

"Well, he's certainly not now." He picked up the little tuft of copper hair and placed it upon the rest of the doll's body, which had remained intact. Then, much to my amazement, he made the sign of the cross. "Farewell, Eddie Junior, your life was far too short. At least now you know no pain." He placed the little doll body next to the tree gently.

"Emmett, are you insane? It's a doll, it is not dead and we don't have to bury the thing."

"I told you to pretend he was your son, so he deserves a proper burial. A moment of silence if you will." I stood there silently while Emmett completed whatever prayer for the plastic he was doing in his head.

"There! Now, we'll try again. Meet your daughter, Edwina!" And out of the pile came another doll with Edward's hair, only this one wore a dress instead of the jean overalls that Edward Junior had worn. Emmett was dancing around with the doll, so delighted in this training session it was infectious so I had to join him in laughter. Edwina gurgled along in computer animated delight. It was so weird but I decided to just go with it. Emmett went back up the tree and Edwina came down. This time I didn't completely break her but there was a rather large crack in the center of her head. She was wailing up a storm too. Emmett took her from me and flipped off the switch. If only it were that easy in real life!

And so it went. Little Alice and Alastair were both crushed at my hands, their raven hair all that remained after I caught them. Jasmine and Jasper Junior didn't make it either, although their faces remained mostly okay. Jasper was missing an ear but I was rather proud that he still had a full head but Emmett still declared him dead on arrival. Jasmine's head ripped right off because I'd gripped her hair a little too tight when I caught her. Emmett's little doll graveyard was soon littered with bodies. Carly and Carlisle Junior joined Esmerelda and Esteban on the mass grave. It was the most macabre sight ever, headless bodies, crushed doll heads, the occasional detached eye. Ick.

"Alright, Bella, you've managed to kill all your children and your nieces and nephews. They ought to lock you up and throw away the key. Now, you have one more chance because I'm not letting you ruin any more dolls today. And this is by far the most important chance I'm giving you." He looked completely serious; there was no hint of a smile on his face or in his eyes. "This is Emmett Junior and if you kill him, I'll be forced to avenge his death." He held up the doll next to his face. It was dressed identically to him, jeans and a white t-shirt with a black button down shirt over it. He had curly brown hair and a little ball cap on his head. Somehow they'd even given the thing dimples. I didn't even want to know how they managed that one. I suppressed a giggle and nodded at his sober expression.

"Son, your Auntie Bella loves you very much and she's not going to let anything happen to you. She knows how much you mean to me so she's going to catch you and you'll be in one piece," he stopped to glare at me, "and we'll get you home to Momma. Okay?" He hugged his "son" to him and eyed me balefully. "Bella, I like Emmett Junior and would very much like him to have a head when I get back down here. Remember what I told you. Take all the energy and push it elsewhere in your body. Your hands are like feathers, they have no power. Push the strength into your legs, channel it out anywhere but your hands."

I took several calming breaths and prepared for my last trial of the day. I really didn't want to disappoint Emmett or ruin his little doll, it was clear he was rather attached. I watched anxiously as Emmett to back to his perch in the treetop. "Here he comes. Take care of him." I shifted my stance and prepared to catch the doll, concentrating on pushing my strength out of my arms and into the rest of my body. _I can do this. I have to do this for Emmett. _Emmett Junior was in my arms before I knew it. I felt him land and closed my eyes, hoping that he would be okay and then feeling ridiculous because I was worried about a doll of all things. I heard Emmett land next to me; he'd leapt out of the tree rather than climb all the way down. He wasn't saying anything so I opened one eye and peeked down at the doll in my arms.

He had a head! An intact, not messed up head. And it was attached to his body! I did it! "I did it, Emmett!" I laughed in sheer delight, shifting the baby to one arm so I could hug Emmett with the other. He squeezed me tightly and whirled me around, keeping a careful eye on my grip on the doll the whole time.

"See, I knew you could do it! And of course it was my son you saved. You love me best! I have the proof!" I giggled at his joy over his doll being the only one that escaped harm. "Don't worry, I won't tell Edward about you killing his children but saving mine." I lost it, laughing so hard that I fell over and landed next to the doll graveyard. That set me off even further and soon I was in complete hysterics. Emmett joined me, his belly laugh shaking the ground beneath us.

When I finally calmed enough to speak, I said, "Emmett, you have got to be the most unorthodox teacher that ever existed. However, this has to be the most fun I've ever had in school, such as it is."

He beamed with delight at my compliment. "You did well, Bella. You never gave up, even when you were getting frustrated. Now that you're learning how to channel your strength, it'll be a snap from here on out." It wasn't a snap but it was quite a bit easier. I soon learned how to do simple things like dial a phone and hold a pen without snapping it in two. Emmett was there cheering me on the whole way.

Jasper's training was completely different from Emmett's. In the first place, he didn't even tell me he was training me. One day Edward took me out on a hunt, like usual, nothing special about it or so I thought at the time. I picked up Jasper's scent when we were out but I didn't think anything of that either, we weren't far from the house and all of us hunted in these woods. Jasper smelled of hot sand and cactus, reminding me a lot of Arizona; maybe it was a southern thing.

I caught the scent of some deer to the west and headed that way, Edward falling in next to me as was our habit. He held back a little so I could keep pace with him and take down my kill first. He was always the gentleman, even when it came to death, it was oddly sweet. I focused in on the kill, drawing within a hundred yards of my prey when all of a sudden a new scent came out of the south. It was something I'd never smelled before and it called to me. I didn't think for a second about what I was doing, I reversed direction and crashed through the woods, all thoughts of the deer gone as I was driven to find whatever carried that delicious aroma.

Edward fell in behind me, not saying a word as I blindly sought to find that which called me. He let me take the lead as I hopped over rocks, scaled trees and crashed through river banks trying to find that elusive creature with the intoxicating odor. The venom welled in my mouth as I imagined crushing it to me, tasting the hot blood as it pumped out of its torn neck. I needed to taste it more than I'd ever needed anything before. Even my desire for Edward was eclipsed by this hunger, which would have been jarring to me had I recognized it at the time.

I was close; the scent was stronger here as was Jasper's. I feared he had already killed it, the delightful creature with the desirable blood. How dare he take what was mine? A growl erupted from my throat instinctively, a challenge to my brother and to my husband and to anyone else that wanted to take my prey away. Edward halted at the sound coming from my throat, electing not to move ahead with me as I scaled a giant boulder and jumped to the other side. It was here, somewhere. I didn't see anything but the scent was incredibly strong; I was nearly on top of it. I tore through some underbrush to see if I could find it, the fear that Jasper had already devoured it coursing through me and enraging me all the more. I picked up a huge tree trunk and hurled it out of my way; the animal was underneath, I was sure of it. But there was no animal to be found.

No, lying underneath the tree was some fabric, fabric bathed in that scent that had driven me mad from the first whiff. I picked it up and buried my face into it, the soft white cloth rubbing over my cheek like a lover's caress. I breathed deeply, wanting to lose myself in that glorious aroma forever. I vaguely heard something above me and whirled, hoping the animal that had been burrowing in this fabric had returned. Instead I saw Jasper and Edward perched atop the boulder I'd climbed.

"Where is it?" My voice was a demanding growl; I spoke through the fabric, unwilling to move it from my nose and mouth.

Edward looked like he was going to speak but Jasper silenced him. "Where is what, Bella?"

"The animal." What were they playing at? Why were they keeping me from the thing I wanted to so badly?

"What animal?"

"Don't pretend you don't smell it! Did you eat it? Did you take what was mine?" I was ready to attack Jasper if he didn't give me my prey. I had to taste it.

"There is no animal, Bella."

I shrieked with rage. "I can smell it! It was lying in this material! I have to have it; you have to show me where it is. Even if you drained it, there has to be some blood for me!" One drop would not be enough, I wanted all of it and I wanted to drink until I was so full that I couldn't move but if I couldn't, I still had to have a taste.

"I didn't drain anything." Thank God.

"Then show me where it is, the trail ends here. Did it go underground? What is it?" I turned my back on them and started digging, hoping to unearth my beloved food. I used only one hand, the other clutching the treasure to my nose.

"Bella, love, it's not an animal."

"Well, actually it is."

"You know what I mean, Jasper, she's not going to find it by digging a huge hole in the ground. Bella, please stop."

I turned and glared at them. "Don't make me hurt you. Just show me where it is." Yeah, I was that far gone; ready to attack my brother and my husband if they didn't lead me to the animal.

Jasper hopped from atop the gray rock, landing about five feet from me and crouching down as if to attack. I mimicked his stance; it was something he'd taught me as well. He'd given me tutorials just like he had the rest of the family and the wolves when the newborns were coming to attack. He wanted me to have the same skill set and body control as the rest of the family and I had actually become quite adept at combat. I didn't want to have to take him out but I was willing to now.

"Stay there, Edward." My eyes cut to my husband, who looked like he wanted very badly to come down but he listened to Jasper and stayed away. "Bella, there is no animal; calm down a minute and focus on what you're holding."

What was he talking about? I was holding a plain white cloth, a t-shirt that had clearly been a bed for whatever animal smelled like everything that was good in the world. "It's a shirt," I hissed through clenched teeth, baring them at Jasper.

"And what animal wears a shirt?" What was wrong with him? No animals wore shirts. We wore shirts. Humans wore shirts…oh. Oh, no.

"This, this is what a human smells like to us?" My voice shook, pain and desire intermingled. It was everything I needed but I didn't want to do what had to be done to get it. What part of me was stronger? There was no way in the world I was going to get through eternity without killing a human being.

"Yes."

I closed my eyes and pressed my face to the cloth and inhaled again. God I wanted that scent and the taste that went with it. I looked over at Edward as I filled with shame. "I'm so sorry. I was so sure I could do it but I can't, can I? I'm going to kill a human." I didn't want to; I could not live with the guilt of that.

Edward hopped off the rock and folded me into his arms. "No, Bella, you aren't. Sweetie, this is a normal reaction to have the first time you catch a human's scent. We fully expected it. You have so much control though we weren't sure how you'd react so we decided to test you to be sure. This is perfectly acceptable."

I pushed him away angrily. "It's not acceptable. I don't want to kill a person, Edward! How am I ever going to be able to be around anyone? I can't! We'll have to move to Antarctica or something." I sounded like a petulant child but I didn't care. I really did want to be able to live among humans and go to school and interact with people someday. It appeared that I'd never be able to do that though.

Jasper stepped in front of me. "Bella, you won't have to move anywhere. This is part of your training, my part. I'm going to plant clothes and human blood throughout the forest and you're going to learn to ignore it. We did this to you at the most difficult time, when you were already thirsty and on your hunt. I can assure you, were you sated and around a living, breathing person, things would probably be slightly less difficult. You don't want to hurt anyone and you'd likely fight that instinct. I'm not saying you'd be successful, you probably wouldn't right away but that's why you're not going to be around humans for awhile. This was the first of many tests and you did not fail. You did exactly what you should do. Now you know and now you can work on your control."

I looked into his golden eyes and heard the confidence in his tone. Edward stepped back to me and put his arms around my waist and I felt that energy coming from him. Both of them believed in me and I had to believe in myself. I slowly lowered my arm, removing the shirt from my nose. My body balked, badly wanting it back near my face but I refused to give in. I held the shirt out to Jasper and planted myself firmly so I didn't yank it away when he took it from me.

"Very good, Bella. I don't have to tell you to remember the scent, you'll do that. Next time you're on a hunt, focused in on your kill and you smell this scent, or something similar, you need to do your best to ignore it. It will be difficult, the hardest thing you do, really, because you're fighting against your very nature. But you know what's at stake if you don't." If I failed, I would kill a person; someone's sister or brother, son or daughter, mother or father. I could not be responsible for that. "Stop breathing if you have to, that's how I got through high school some days." He smiled at me and I felt my lips turn up in response. "And Lord knows Edward had to do that with you plenty."

I felt Edward's laugh rumble through my body as he pressed his nose to my hair and inhaled deeply. "That's for sure. All I could do was take quick breaths around her for weeks." He was so strong and he'd fought so hard just to be with me. I wouldn't let him down.

I breathed deeply, taking one last hit of that wonderful scent. "Alright, Jasper, do your worst. I'll be better prepared next time." And I was, but that didn't stop me from taking off after the scent. Several times later I stopped myself before I got all the way to it. The next time, I veered off my track but came back a second later. And the next time, I didn't leave the hunt and I didn't go after the beautiful aroma. I wasn't immune to the smell of humans but I was in control of the thirst.

Jasper and Edward were thrilled with my progress. Alice said I wasn't quite ready for a human yet but I would be soon; within weeks rather than months. I was immensely excited by that possibility; it was going to take me less than the usual year to be able to interact with humans. Jasper said it had to have something to do with my unknown gift. Whatever it was, I was grateful for it.

Before I can face the humans though, I have to face something else that's even more daunting, at least to me. Aro is coming. Alice says he'll be here in a week, on the pretense of wanting to see the new Mrs. Cullen. What he really wants to know is what power I have. Since I don't seem to have one, yet, he's going to be mighty disappointed but Alice says that won't daunt him in the least. He's still going to try to get me and Edward to join him Volterra. We're not going. I have no plans to be a part of that sadistic coven and I know Edward feels the same way. Alice doesn't foresee any difficulties from our rejection of his overtures, but I'm going to be prepared anyway. Jasper's lessons may come in handy sooner than he could have thought.

* * *

So do you all want to have me committed? Rameau says the doll exercise is clearly my true feelings for Renesmee shining through and smashing her over and over was my form of therapy. It's quite possible, I suppose, though I don't recall disliking her that much. Still, I let Emmett, Junior live!

Any cool New Year's resolutions? Mine are all boring so I'd love to hear anything original and different. Remember, review for previews, Aro's coming! See you next week!


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N I had a couple of questions asked recently and wanted to share them with everyone. We're probably a bit more than halfway through the story. I think it's going to be around 40 to 50 chapters. Probably closer to 40 but I get wordy so we'll see what happens. I publish every Saturday rain or shine. I hope my American readers are staying warm. It's actually freezing here in Florida so I imagine the rest of the country is just ungodly cold. **

**I wanted to thank Jasam for her awesome review of the last chapter. You didn't sign it so I couldn't reply but I'm glad you like the story and find it so funny. I didn't intend to include humor when I started it but I guess I just can't do without it! I'm glad none of you wanted to commit me after last chapter! Thanks, all of you, for reading and reviewing.**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 28

EPOV

I smiled to myself as my fingers moved fluidly over the piano keys, the new song flowing out of me. It was for Bella, of course, a piece to show her my love for her and my happiness in our lives together. Honestly, everyday seemed to be better than the last. Bella was adjusting to her new life with an ease that astounded us all. I knew she thought she was having a hard time but in reality she was far beyond where any of the rest of us had been, save for Carlisle perhaps.

The water running in the shower shut off with a loud clang and I bit back a chuckle as Bella muttered something about flimsy construction. I abandoned my piano and walked back to the bedroom as she opened the bathroom door, wrapped in a fluffy white towel and holding the shower knob in her hand. That wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't still attached to about five feet of pipe. I didn't hold back the laugh at the expression on her face. She looked embarrassed and annoyed all at once. It was rather adorable.

"Problem, love?"

She huffed and shoved the pipe at me. "I did it again."

"Okay, no big deal." I set the pipe atop the dresser and turned to face her, letting my eyes roam over her barely covered body. We'd just made love an hour ago but I was more than ready to go again. Bella didn't seem to take notice of my interest, though. Her lower lip poked out and she bit it in consternation.

"Why do you put up with me?"

"What?" What kind of question was that? I adored the ground she walked on, she was my entire world.

"I'm hopeless! It's been a month and I'm still misjudging my strength! This is the third time I've broken our beautiful shower."

I pulled her into my arms, trying to ignore the fact that she was pretty much naked. "Bella, the fact that you can even focus enough to take a shower without help is amazing. Do you realize just how far you've come in a month's time? You're amazing."

"It doesn't feel like I've come that far. I feel so useless, Edward."

I lowered my lips to her pretty pout and captured her bottom lip with mine. She responded instantly, winding her arms around my neck. It would have been easy to distract her and push her back on the bed and have my way with her again, but I wanted to make sure to answer her question.

"Do you want to know why I put up with you?" My lips traced over her cheeks, down to her neck where I licked the spot where I'd made her mine forever. She tilted her head to give me better access and nodded. "It's simple really." My lips coursed over her jaw. "You are the most incredible creature I've ever met." I sucked her earlobe into my mouth and bit down gently as she hissed in pleasure. "You're smart and kind and beautiful." Her towel fell to the ground as I continued to drag my lips over her chest, trailing my tongue over her collar bone. "You're honest and thoughtful and stubborn and trusting." My hands joined in my exploration, cupping her breasts and massaging gently. "You're…" my next words were cut off as Bella pulled my hair to bring my lips back to hers.

My sweater and pants were off with two quick yanks of her hands. She wasn't bemoaning her strength now, was she? She pushed me back onto the bed and straddled me, her body aligning perfectly with mine as it did every time. My hands gripped her hips as she shifted and took me into her. I watched in awe as she rose above me and began to move, her hips moving quickly. Her hands gripped mine almost painfully as she sought to move faster. She was so beautiful in that moment it was indescribable. Her hair fell down over breasts, her eyes burned into mine. They had started to turn, now no longer a crimson color, they were more of a burnt orange.

I let her control everything, lifting my hips to meet hers and adjusting to match any change in pace. She was getting close to orgasm; she always came rather quickly from this position, as did I. Letting her take control aroused me to no end. Bella threw back her head and tightened around me, her release bringing my own as her walls clamped around me. Spent, she fell forward and lay atop me, her head buried in my neck. I let go of her right hand and ran my hand through her rich mahogany tresses.

"Now do you see why I put up with you?" She giggled, her laughter tickling my neck.

She bit me playfully. "No, now I see why I put up with you." I rolled over and pinned her to the bed. Her eyes widened. "Again, already?"

"I wish, my love." I'd like nothing better than to spend all day in bed with her but we had an unwelcomed visitor to contend with shortly. I kissed her softly. "Do you still honestly wonder why I love you?"

Her eyes clouded over a little. "I guess, sometimes. It has to be difficult you, having me destroy the house and kill Edward Junior and break the computer." I chuckled, remembering Bella's retelling of our baby doll "son" and his death at her hands. Emmett Junior had taken up residence at our house, Emmett fearing the wrath of Rosalie if she got a load of the doll. I'd made Bella put him in the closet; I didn't want a replica Emmett doll watching us make love.

"Well, killing our fake son and daughter was quite the offense." She stuck her tongue out at me. "But you have to know, Bella, that if I had it to do over again, I would. The only thing I would change would be changing you sooner, because I've never known more happiness than I have this last month. I wish I could remarry you every day." Her stunning face lit up at my words.

"You do?"

"I do. As a matter of fact, I'm going to say that to you every day. I do, Bella, I take you to be my wife, every day until the end of time."

"I do, too, Edward." Our lips met. I wanted nothing more than to get lost in her again but I knew it was almost time for Aro's arrival. I pulled back reluctantly and brought us both to a sitting position.

"It's time to get ready, love." I was inordinately happy that she had my scent all over her now. I knew it was ridiculous, Aro knew she was my wife but I still liked him knowing that she belonged to me, as I belonged to her. Felix was coming as well and I hadn't liked his thoughts of my Bella when we were in Italy.

Nerves showed in Bella's face as she walked to the dresser and pulled out some jeans and green cotton t-shirt. I frowned at the way it showed off her lovely figure. "I think you should wear something else."

She glanced at me in surprise. "What's wrong with this? I don't have to wear a dress or anything, do I?"

"No!" I said it a little too forcefully, not liking the thought of Aro's eyes taking in her shapely legs.

Her eyes narrowed at me. "You're not jealous, are you?" Well, of course I was; I hated the thought of any man ogling my wife, particularly one that desired nothing more than to take her away from me. I shrugged and turned to pull on my own jeans and another sweater seeing as Bella had ruined the ones I'd just worn. Her little hand landed on my shoulder and she turned me to face her. "You are!"

"You don't have to hear their thoughts, Bella." Sympathy washed over her face and she wrapped her arms around my waist.

"No, I don't. But I do know that no matter what they think, it'll never come to pass. I'm yours." I kissed the top of her head and buried my face in her hair, breathing in that mouthwatering strawberry scent. Here she was the one nervous about Aro's visit and yet she was reassuring me.

"Thank you, my love. You know you have nothing to worry about either, right?"

Her face clouded over. "I know they aren't here to hurt me, but they are here to try to figure out what my power is and to try to convince me to go to Italy, right?"

"Yes, but they can't force you to do anything, nor will they try."

"I know, it's just…"

"You're scared of Aro."

"It's hard not to be, seeing as my only experience with him had you in pain and both of us nearly killed."

I closed my eyes as the memory of that washed over me. The fear I'd felt in that moment had been unprecedented. The thought of them hurting my Bella…I broke off the thought. "But we survived and here we are now, stronger than ever."

She bit her lip and nodded. "He won't hurt you, Bella. Alice says everything is going to be just fine."

"I know; he just makes me nervous."

I took her hand in mine and kissed it. "We'll all be there with you, Bella. He's just here to confirm that you're one of us and he wants to know if you've got a power. Thus far, you don't so there's nothing for him to find."

She nodded. "True."

"Are you ready?"

She sighed. "As ready as I'll ever be." I kissed her hand again and we headed over the house to wait for Aro and his guards. We walked in the house and were met by Emmett, vaulting over the stairs railing.

"You ready to take on the old man?"

I rolled my eyes. "We're not taking Aro on, Emmett, we're just meeting with him and letting him see that Bella has been changed and that we have no interest in going to Volterra. Period."

Emmett crossed his arms and frowned at me. "We'll see. Alice says that Felix guy is coming and that he's bigger than I am." And there was the crux of Emmett's problem; he had always been the biggest, strongest vampire we'd ever encountered; now there was competition.

Bella saw his irritation and sought to alleviate it. "He's pretty big, Emmett, but I'm sure you're still stronger." His dimples winked at her, his good humor restored.

"We'll just have to see, won't we? I'm sure we could have a little strength competition." _I wonder if Esme will mind if we arm wrestle on the antique Queen Anne dining room table. It's not like anyone is using it._ I just raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed. "Alright, we'll take it outside."

Bella and I entered the living room, where Jasper lounged on the end of the white couch, his eyes were narrowed in either concentration or annoyance, I couldn't tell. "What's up, Jasper?" Bella threw herself down on the couch next to him and tugged on his messy blond hair. His face cleared for a second as he sent her a small smile but it didn't remain.

"Not a lot." He shrugged. "I'm just waiting for Aro to get here so he can leave again, hopefully for good."

Bella's shoulders tensed a bit but she relaxed them quickly. How I wished I could hear what she was thinking. She took Jasper's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. "There's nothing to worry about. He'll see that I'm changed and have no power and then he'll go."

Jasper smirked. "You have no identified power but we all know you have one. You're far too advanced for a newborn and that's not going to escape his notice. Even still, that's not what's bothering me."

I spoke up then, since he wasn't clueing me in with his thoughts. "What are you worried about then?"

His eyes met mine and they were flat, cold warrior's eyes. "Bella isn't the only one he wants, you know. He wants my Alice. He won't take either one of them."

"Of course he won't." Alice danced into the room and hopped on Jasper's lap. "I've already told you everything will be fine. Are you doubting me?"

"No, I'd never doubt you. But he wants to take you from me. You're_ mine_." His voice was fiercely possessive and I bit back a smile, he sounded so like me in that moment.

Alice wiggled around and turned to straddle him, taking his face between both of her tiny hands. "Yes, I am yours, Jazz. Nothing will ever change that." His eyes darkened and he yanked Alice to him, his lips clashing with hers passionately.

Bella shifted next to me and let out a soft moan. I felt it too; Jasper's lust was starting to permeate the room and now was not the time. "Jas, man, you've got to stop." He growled but otherwise ignored me.

Emmett bounded back into the room and took in the sight and let out a loud groan. "Jeez, can't anybody control themselves around here anymore? Do you really want wrinkly old Aro to see you and Alice getting it on?"

Jasper did pull away from Alice then, sending his ire Emmett's way. I relaxed as the pheromones in the room vanished. I'd been a couple seconds away from whisking Bella somewhere more private. "Maybe I do, maybe then he'll realize that she's mine and she's not going anywhere." Alice shook her head and nuzzled into his neck.

"Stop worrying, he's not going to push."

"Maybe not today but do you think a no will be enough to send him away for good?"

Alice's face clouded over and her eyes glazed. "I can't see what he'll plan but I do know that he'll leave us be, for now." _For now is not good enough. We're never going to truly be safe so long as Aro exists. If only I could get him alone. _"Jasper, no! It's not going to happen so whatever plan you're trying to formulate, drop it!"

He scowled. "I don't have a plan, per se, I was just thinking if I could get him by himself…"

"Well you can't! Demetri and Felix are not going to let him out of their sight. Please, leave it be, for me."

His expression softened and he pressed a kiss to her spiky black hair. "Alright, for you." _For now. _He glanced at me. _You agree with me about the threat he provides, don't you? _I gave him an imperceptible nod. _Eventually it'll have to be addressed. _I knew he was right but we had to get through today first.

I caught a new voice in the air. _Hello, dear friend Edward. Can you hear me yet? We're three miles out; I think that's your radius, is it not? I cannot wait to see you and your lovely bride again. _

"They're here." Bella tensed beside me and I wrapped my arm around her, snuggling her into my side. Her arms wound around my waist and she laid her head on my shoulder. "It'll be fine, love."

Emmett threw himself down on the green recliner. "I, for one, am anxious to meet the Volturi."

Alice laughed. "No, you're anxious to see if Felix is really bigger than you."

He shrugged, portraying a sense of nonchalance. "Even if he is, bigger is not necessarily better."

Jasper actually managed a laugh. "That's not what you always say."

Before Emmett could retort a knock sounded on the door. Carlisle and Esme went to answer it. "Carlisle, old friend, I'm so very happy to see you again. It's been far too long."

"Aro." Carlisle's voice was cool and betrayed no nerves. I heard them shake hands and felt the rush of thoughts flowing from Carlisle into Aro. _She hasn't manifested a power yet? _His mental voice was filled with disappointment. _I was so sure…but then, she is very controlled isn't she? And Edward still can't read her mind. Surely there's something there, even if they don't yet know what it is. All the more reason for her to come to Volterra, where we can help her discover her gifts. _I was the tense one now. I knew his purpose for being here but it wasn't easy dealing with it as it happened instead of in Alice's visions.

"Your home is delightful, Carlisle and Esme, truly; very warm and fitting of you. I trust you are all well?"

"Yes, certainly. Most everyone is in the living room if you'd like to come in and say hello." Esme led the way, sounding slightly nervous at Aro's presence.

"Of course, I can't wait to see darling Isabella again! I couldn't be happier that she has become one of us."

Then they were there, filling the entrance to the living room. Aro had forsaken his black robe for traveling purposes. It was rather startling to see the ancient vampire dressed in black pants with a blue polo shirt and black jacket. His nearly translucent skin looked even paler with the dark colors. His black hair fell untamed over his shoulders and his red eyes glowed with excitement. Felix, in jeans and a white t-shirt and beige leather jacket, filled half the doorway, his arms crossed as he surveyed the room, his thoughts centered on Bella's beauty and how he wished he'd had a chance for her blood. Demetri stood next to him, all in black, silent and watching, assessing the potential threat of each one of us, casting a wary eye on Jasper for some reason.

"My dear Cullens, I am so happy to see some of you again and meet the rest of you for the first time!" Aro clapped his hands in glee, his eyes zeroing in on Bella. "Isabella! You make a truly stunning vampire. I knew you would, of course, but to see it with my own eyes instead one of our Alice's visions!" Jasper visibly stiffened. "You are ravishing!" He walked slowly over to where Bella sat on the couch, clutching me tightly. I winced from the pressure as she forgot her strength and gave in to her nerves. She loosened her grip and regarded Aro warily as he held a hand out to her. She placed her hand in his and winced as he pressed a kiss to her soft skin.

_Still nothing from her. Remarkable. _"Edward, my young friend! How happy you must be to have such a lovely bride." I stood and took the hand he offered; knowing there was no way that he'd leave before getting a glimpse at my thoughts. His eyes narrowed and flashed over to Jasper as he heard our discussion from moments ago but he kept the overly pleasant smile plastered on his withered face.

"Aro, it's good to see you."

He raised an eyebrow at me. _Is it, Edward? It seems that you and your brother are less than happy to have me here. In fact, it sounds almost as if you are planning some treachery against me. Is that possible? Would you attempt to harm me after I spared your life only months ago?_

I met his look levelly. _I can assure you, we are planning no treachery, Aro. Jasper is just protective of Alice, as I am of Bella. Neither of us wants them to be pressured into leaving us._

_Dear boy! I would never take your ladies from you. If they come to Volterra, you and your entire family would be welcome. We would be honored to have the whole Cullen clan in our midst!_

_I don't think our lifestyle would blend that well with yours, do you, Aro?_

_Surely you could embrace our life easily, Edward. You tasted Isabella's blood just over a month ago. You can't tell me that the taste didn't tempt you at all._

_Of course it did, but as you can see, Bella is here with me. I did not give in to the call of her blood; the most potent there ever will be to me. If that didn't tempt me, how can any regular human?_

_Perhaps, but could your brother do the same? I see that he's always struggled with his bloodlust, why not join us and accept who he truly is?_

"You'll have to ask him about that."

"Finally!" Emmett exclaimed; his irritation plain in his tone and on his features, from his scowling face to his crossed arms. "I thought you were going to talk to each other like that for hours. Not cool, Edward."

Aro released my hand and gave Emmett a winning smile. "How rude of me! You are quite right to point out my behavior, young man."

Emmett smirked. "I'm not that young and my name is Emmett." His eyes cut over to Felix and a look of displeasure crossed his face. Felix was indeed a couple inches taller and broader than Emmett was. _Alright, so he's bigger. He looks like a dumb jock type though, I could totally take him. _

"It is very nice to meet you, Emmett! Tell me, where is your bride? I'm anxious to see if she is as lovely as her sisters."

Emmett scowled at him. "Rosalie is upstairs and she is beyond beautiful, I assure you."

"Why thank you, Emmett." Rose purred as she came down the stairs, trailing her fingers along the banister and walking slowly, every move calculated to show off the clingy red dress she was wearing. I met Jasper's eyes and rolled my own. Of course Rosalie had to make an entrance.

Felix, who had been staring at my Bella since he entered the room, looked at Rose and my mind was immediately assaulted with images of things he wanted to do to her. Then Bella joined the two of them in his mind and I let out a combination of a growl and a laugh at the same time. I didn't like him thinking of my Bella that way but I was amused at the thought of the reaction both women would have to his perverted fantasies.

_Every woman in this family is magnifico! We have to get them to Volterra. They're wasted on these Cullens. _I glared at him and tightened my arm around Bella.

Emmett saw Felix staring at Rose as if she were water and he was a man dying of thirst and got up and walked to her, sweeping her into his arms and returning her to his chair. I nearly laughed at the image we made. Jasper had Alice in his lap, Emmett had Rose in his and I was wrapped around Bella like a clinging vine. At least I wasn't the only possessive one in the family. Only Carlisle appeared secure in his relationship, sitting in a recliner next to Esme but not touching her at the moment.

Aro was not daunted by Emmett's show of possession, though, and offered a hand to Rosalie. She placed hers in his and watched impassively as he raised it for a kiss. "Rose, there could not be a more fitting name for such an enchanting woman. You, my dear, are a vision." Rosalie preened at his words.

"It's nice to meet you, Aro. I'm glad we can have acceptable guests, for once." She shot a glare at Bella and Aro chuckled.

"I can see that you were the lone member that didn't want Isabella to join your family. I hope you're not too terribly angry that we made Edward change her."

I shot up at his words. "You didn't make me do anything, Aro. I changed Bella because I wanted to, because I wanted forever with her. It had nothing to do with your wishes."

_The young Cullen boy needs to learn some manners. _Demetri's thoughts called to me and I fought the urge to get up and show him just how ill-mannered I could be.

Aro dropped Rose's hand and went to sit on the loveseat, Felix and Demetri remained standing, flanking him on either side of the couch. "So you're saying that you have defied my orders had you not changed your own mind about turning her?" He regarded me angrily.

_Watch your step, brother. Though I'd be more than happy to fight him, there's got to be a better time, when he's alone and we won't be immediate suspects. _Jasper sent a wave of calm my way which combined with his words to make me lose some of my anger at Aro's foolish belief that he was the reason I changed Bella.

I sank back into my seat and chose my words carefully. "No, I'm not saying that, at all, I'm just not going to let you diminish my choice in the matter. What changing her means to me and to her, it's not something that I can begin to explain to you."

Aro nodded. "I saw in your thoughts just what it meant to you and I'm sure Bella knows that as well, don't you, dear?"

Bella slipped her hand in mind, seeking to calm both of us. "I do. And I'm glad he didn't change me because he was ordered to. I wanted him to want me forever and he does. A lifetime of him questioning his actions wouldn't have done either of us any good."

Aro beamed at her. "Quite right, precious Isabella! Beautiful and bright, what more could a man ask for?" _Power…that's what he could ask for. And you have it, I can tell. What will you be? Why doesn't our Alice know? _I was relieved that Jasper couldn't hear him thinking of Alice as belonging to the Volturi as well as to us. I supposed it was better than solely his but not much, not in Jasper's eyes. "Do tell me all about your new life as a vampire, how has it been for you? I've seen it in Carlisle and Edward's eyes, of course, but I'd like to hear it from your lovely lips." I stifled another growl. His thoughts of her were possessive but chaste, unlike Felix's. Demetri just watched and waited, prepared to act if any of us got threatening. He wasn't overly happy about being here. _One of these days Aro's going to push someone too far._ I glanced at Jasper and mentally nodded at Demetri's thought.

Bella hesitated and I squeezed her waist in assurance. "It's been overwhelming at times. There's so much sensation, it can be hard to focus on one thing at a time. I still misjudge my strength from time to time." She smiled and I knew she was thinking of this morning. "Emmett's helped me learn to channel it mostly." Em shot her a grin. _Emmett Junior is the man, the man that can, the little fella that helped train Bella. _He was so ridiculous.

"Yes, it seems you have rather unorthodox training methods, Emmett." Emmett sat up and cast a wary glance at Rose in his lap.

"Yeah, well, whatever works right?"

"Indeed, you should be commended for your creativity and for your success with your brilliant pupil." Emmett sat up a little straighter in his chair and gave Aro a genuine smile. "And what of your interaction with humans, Bella?"

She shifted nervously and I stroked her side, which caused her to lean in closer to me, not that I minded in the least. "I haven't been around one yet, but Jasper's been working with me on that. He surprises me when on hunts with human scents. At first I would leave the track and run after them but now I've gotten to the point where I can focus and ignore it."

Aro beamed at her and clapped his hands again. "You're a marvel, Isabella! Only a month old and able to resist the call of humans! I, of course, can't understand the desire to do so but I know it's important to you and your family so you are to be applauded! You most certainly have a powerful gift."

Bella met his inquisitive red eyes head on. "I don't know, honestly. I don't feel like I have any dormant power inside me just waiting to come out but everything is so new, how would I know?"

A slow smile curved Aro's ashy lips. "Well, we could certainly work on figuring that out, my dear. In Volterra, we have access to so many brilliant minds. Someone there would certainly be able to unlock your gift. You should really think about going back with us." He broke off at the look on my face. "You and your husband, of course. I'm sure you couldn't bear to be apart from one another so soon into your marriage." We would never be able to bear to be apart from one another, not all of us were as ambivalent to our mates as he was.

Bella just shook her head in response to Aro's words. "Thank you, Aro, that is very kind but I'd rather stay here with my family. If I have some dormant power, they can help me when it is discovered. After all, they have gifts of their own."

_Yes, such a gifted bunch. Too gifted. All of them, united. A threat that cannot be ignored._

I spoke up then. "We are not a threat to you, Aro. We just want to live our lives, together. None of us seeks to usurp your place as the head governing body of the vampires. It's the last thing any of us want to do."

_Speak for yourself bro! I want to be King Emmett! Off with their heads…and the rest of their body parts! _I bit back another chuckle at Emmett's mental antics, only he could bring levity at a time when tension hung over us like a knife.

"Well, that's easy for you to say now, Edward, but what about down the road? I already read your brother's desire to get rid of me in your very thoughts." Demetri and Felix both tensed, their bodies leaning forward slightly as if prepared to strike.

Jasper cleared his throat and met Aro's gaze. "The only reason I want to get rid of you is because you want to take _my _Alice away from me. I have no interest in your power and politics. She is the only thing of interest to me." He broke off and looked around the room. "No, they are the only thing of interest to me. _My family_. You seek to split us up for your own gain. I will not sit idly by and let that happen."

Aro licked his lips. "And just what do you think you would do about it?"

Jasper's eyes went dead black. "Whatever it took." Demetri took a step towards Jasper but Aro stopped him with a raised hand.

"You are a warrior. I like that. I respect it. It is rare that I find a man who will speak his mind to me, even knowing I can read it with just a simple touch."

Jasper smiled in challenge. "Go ahead and touch me, you'll see that my thoughts match my words."

"No need, my friend, I can see that you are being forthcoming with me, so I will be the same with you. Yes, I desire your wife to join my coven; Isabella and Edward too. You as well, with your gift of the senses, I'm sure I could find use for you." Jasper sneered at that. "I come here in peace, just to talk. I will take no action against you should you say no. Your family intrigues me; can you blame me for that?"

Jasper sat back, his lips twitching. "Not at all, we're an interesting bunch after all."

"You are indeed! Your Alice's ability to see thing which have not yet happened! I admit I can't get her pretty pictures out of my mind. And I see with my own eyes that they come to pass, for here is Isabella, looking just as she did in Alice's vision. And you, with your ability to control moods! You could make a room full of humans calm as they were drained of blood, one by one! Surely you can see the appeal you both hold for me?"

Jasper nodded at him to continue on. "And Edward! To be able to read minds at a great distance; even with my gift I am admittedly jealous of his. He can tell us what everybody in the room is thinking right now, save for our puzzling Isabella. Edward, share with us someone in this room's thoughts, if you would be so kind? I envy your skill so!"

I glanced at Carlisle to see what he thought of all this. He was sitting on the couch taking everything in but refrained from interjecting, perhaps out of deference to his old friendship with Aro. He nodded at me to go ahead and do what Aro asked.

I smiled. "Felix is thinking how beautiful the women are and wishing he could have some alone time with Bella and Rose, together." I knew what this pronouncement would do but if I was going to be a performing monkey, I was going to give them a show.

"What?" Rose shrieked, pushing off Emmett's lap and poking Felix in the chest with an angry finger. "First off, I would never be with you; Emmett is all the man that I need." She took a long survey of Felix's body, her eyes running up and down his large frame. "You don't begin to measure up, trust me on that!" Emmett nodded smugly though he didn't smile. He watched Felix, ready to take him on if he laid a finger on Rosalie. "Second of all, I would certainly never be with _her _that way." She jerked a thumb towards Bella, who looked away in discomfort. "Thirdly," her eyes moved to Aro. "Who are you to come into our house and try to break up our family? I may not like all the people in it but they belong here. You do not."

Everyone froze at Rose's words. Acceptance. Maybe it was grudging but it was there. My jaw dropped open as did several others in the room.

Aro smiled serenely, not remotely ruffled by Rosalie's words. "You are a fiery, Rose, aren't you? So aptly named. I respect your loyalty to your family, loyalty is very important to us as a people, wouldn't you say?" Rose just shrugged, hands on her hips. "But tell me, Rosalie, do your words actually extend to the newest member of your family? I was of the understanding that you didn't feel Isabella belonged with you."

Rose looked uncomfortable. "I don't agree with her choice, but her choice was made. She belongs with my brother now and he belongs with us. Therefore, she does too." She turned on her heel and went back to stand next to Emmett, who was beaming with pride and happiness. He swept her back into his arms and gave her a crushing hug.

"Rosie! I'm so proud of you, baby!"

"I still don't like her, Emmett. But she is family, whether I like it or not. And nobody messes with my family." Loyalty had always been Rosalie's most attractive trait. That she was showing any for Bella was huge.

"Well, it seems my visit has paid some dividends after all, hasn't it? You've discovered just how strong your family unit is." _And so have I. _"We have to be going, soon, as we have a little matter to attend to down in North Carolina. A vampire who is actually seeking attention, wearing a cape and telling women he is Dracula. Some people are so unoriginal and so crass."

Carlisle stood and offered his hand to Aro again. Aro took it and saw nothing untoward in his thoughts. _We just want to live our lives, Aro, surely they have shown you that they have no desire to take your place. Please, leave us be, we're finally whole. _

"Carlisle, my pure-hearted friend, not everyone is as content with their lot as you are. I hope you all remain that way." _I will make plans in case you do not. _

"We will, so long as we're together."

Aro let go of Carlisle's hand and strode back to Bella. "Dearest Isabella, should you change your mind and decide you'd like our help in discovering your talents, do not hesitate to contact us. You are welcome in Volterra anytime." She acknowledged his words with a smile. "Edward, the same goes for you, of course, please do not limit yourself, the world could truly be yours."

I looked at my Bella, sitting at my side. "It already is."

Aro smiled. "Young love, how I envy you that." He turned to Alice and Jasper. "Need I ask you?"

Alice gave him a toothy grin. "No, but thank you anyway."

"You are a treasure. I hope he appreciates it."

Jasper tightened his hold on Alice. "I do."

"Good. I imagine we will meet again, Jasper."

Jasper's eyes flicked to Demetri and Felix. "We will."

Aro's smile was predatory. "I look forward to it."

"As do I."

"Esme, it was lovely seeing you again, your home suits you beautifully."

"Thank you, Aro, I wish you well." _What I really wish is that you'd stay away from everyone in my family. _

"And I you. Fiery Rose, I hope to see you in action someday. Emmett, you cherish that flower, there are few as rare and beautiful as the one you have."

Emmett glowered at him. "I will. Felix, enjoy your fantasies, man, because they'll never be a reality." The two huge men eyed each other with animosity but Felix said nothing at Aro's silencing look.

"Thank you for your hospitality, dearest Cullens. I'm sorry if my visit brought on any anxiety. I admire your family very much and only wish to make you a part of mine. There's nothing wrong with that, is there?"

Carlisle shook his head. "No, there isn't, but there's nothing wrong with us wanting to keep our family unit as it is. We've finally all found what we needed." He put a hand on my shoulder. "That's all we want, honestly."

Aro looked at all of us and nodded. "I can't say that I won't reach out to you again but I respect your decision. I do hope that you will visit us one day. It's been far too long since you've been to Volterra, Carlisle, and I'm sure the others would like to see it as well."

"Perhaps, someday." I smirked; I'd rather be a pile of ashes than voluntarily step foot back in Volterra.

"Come, Felix, Demetri, let's go deal with far less pleasant characters. Take care, dear ones. I hope to see you again."

We watched as Aro and his guards left. Rosalie eyed us all warily, almost daring us to say something about her defense of the family. When nobody said anything, she cleared her throat. "Well I don't know about you but all the chest thumping in the living room made me hungry. Anyone care to go hunting?"

We all answered in the affirmative and ran into the forest, relieved to have our home to ourselves again.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N This chapter goes out to aamy, who requested a water lemon. I live to serve! Hope you all like it!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 29

BPOV

After Aro's visit, life settled back down to normal again. Well, as normal as you could get in a house full of eight vampires anyway. Jasper kept on with my training, introducing me to new human scents daily. I asked where he was getting all these clothes and he just grinned at me. Hanover probably had a lot of confused townspeople running around half clothed.

"Bella, what are you doing?" My tiny sister whirled into the room and stared at me accusingly.

"Um, I was getting ready to read a book. Why?"

"That can wait! We're going swimming."

"Swimming? Alice, it's forty degrees outside, nobody goes swimming in that kind of weather."

"We do…it's not like we feel the cold." This was true, though I still enjoyed the sensation of a steaming hot shower. Cold water didn't really register, the temperature matched my own. "Come on, the boys are already out there."

"Where are we going swimming anyway? We don't have a pool."

"Emmett and Rose found a fabulous stream in the mountains, there's a big lagoon and waterfall." She broke off for a minute as her eyes went cloudy. They sharpened again and she regarded me with a big grin. "You'll like it…a lot. A lot more than I really want to know but it's my lot in life! Come on already." She pulled me off the couch. I thought briefly about resisting but the thought of Edward in the water…yeah, I wanted to be there.

Alice danced into my bedroom, swinging our arms between the two of us. "You finally get to wear one of your new bathing suits!" I didn't bother to suppress the groan that those words inspired. For the most part, Alice had let me be on the dressing issue. I wasn't being seen by anyone but the family so she was fine with jeans and t-shirts. I dreaded the day I was ready to be out in society again, Alice no doubt would have a field day with my wardrobe.

She tugged me over to the built in drawers in the back of my closet. "Hmm, let's see, the blue or the red? Edward loves you in blue but the red is sexier." She held up a pair of bikinis that would cover very little.

"Alice, really, do I have to wear a bikini? Surely there's a nice one-piece in here somewhere." I tried in vain to find something more suitable to wear but since Alice had bought all my swimwear, I didn't have a lot of choice in the matter. Alice just smirked at me when I gave up and grabbed the red suit. It was sexy and Edward would like it. So what if my brothers were going to be there?

I slipped the suit on while Alice wandered to my jewelry box. "Oh, Bella, you have to wear this!" She came over with the key bellybutton ring she'd picked out the day I got it pierced, a huge smile lighting her pretty face. I hadn't worn that one yet so I changed out the E and B initials one for the dangly little key. I liked the way it hung about an inch below my bellybutton.

I threw on one of Edward's t-shirts and a pair of shorts over my suit and grabbed a towel. "Lead the way, pest." Alice smacked me on the arm and took off running. I loved watching her run; she was so graceful; it was like watching a dancer on stage every time she moved.

"Come on, Bella, they're waiting!" I caught up to her in no time, falling into step beside her and cutting down my pace as I was faster than she was. I'd missed spending time with Alice and told her so. "I've missed you too, but you needed that time with Emmett and my Jazz. You've come so far in so short a time, we're all so proud of you." Alice stopped running so I did as well and then braced myself as she threw her arms around me.

"So you don't mind that I've monopolized Jasper and taken him away from you?"

Alice shook her head emphatically and tugged me over to a fallen log. She sat atop it Indian style and I sat next to her. "No, Bella, I'm thrilled that you two have gotten to spend time together. My Jazz…he never truly felt like he fit in with the family before, you know?" I nodded, if anybody knew about not fitting in it was me. "He was only here for me, because this is what I wanted and needed. But that's changed now."

"Because of me?" How could that be, I hadn't done anything.

"Yes, because of you, or more accurately, because you came in and completed our family. You made Edward happy, which in turn made Jasper happy. Edward's emotions were all over the place for decades; while he wasn't truly sad he was never truly happy either. He was lonely and Jazz felt that all the time. Not to mention Esme and Carlisle's worry over Edward, Rosalie's irritation at Edward, my concern for Edward…so much changed when you came into our lives. Edward is happy so the rest of us are. I know that sounds funny, that the emotions of one could affect all the rest of us so much, but it really is true.

"Edward is a different vampire now. He's so much lighter. He has fun with Jasper and Emmett. When he plays his music, it's light and joyous instead of heavy and sad. And then there's you." I felt both thrilled and embarrassed by Alice's words. I couldn't have possibly made that much of a difference in the family dynamic, but it made me happy that there was such a positive change in Edward. That I brought him even a fraction of the happiness he brought me was stunning beyond belief.

Alice wrapped her tiny arms around my waist and put her head on my shoulder. "You've always been my sister, Bella. From the first day I saw you I've considered you to be one of us. It took longer for Emmett and longer still for Jasper but now they love you just as much as I do. Rose is…different, for lack of a better word. Jasper loves her, of course, but it's not the same way he loves you. He really does view you as a sister and he'd do anything for you. You know that right?"

I was truly moved by her words. The way they accepted me into their family, with full hearts, it humbled me. "Alice, you know that I love him, too, don't you? Jasper and Emmett are the big brothers I always wanted."

Her tinkling laugh trilled out. "I know! And they'll tease you mercilessly but they'll protect you endlessly. Either one of them would die for you, you know?" I shuddered; I didn't want anyone to die for me.

"Well I certainly hope it doesn't come to that."

Alice giggled. "It's just a saying, Bella. Only good times ahead, I should know!" She tapped her head knowingly and hopped off the log and pulled me with her. "Your husband and big brothers are waiting, so we'd better get to them. I just wanted to let you know, though, that I am incredibly thankful that you and Jasper are becoming so close. He truly feels like part of the family now; it's what I've always wanted for him."

"You've all made me feel like family from the start, so I'm glad I could do anything to return the feeling." She hugged me again, squeezing me tightly.

"Let's get to the water!" She was off and running again. I felt immensely lighter after my talk with Alice. There were times when I felt like an outsider in our family but Alice's words made it clear that I was one of them. In a decade or two, I'd be part of all the stories and inside jokes. That was incredibly comforting to me.

Alice's pace faltered again and I could tell that we were close. Not because I could smell my family, which I could, but because I could hear them. Emmett, to be precise. He let out a loud Tarzan bellow which was followed by a loud splash. Alice giggled and pushed through some large bushes, pulling the branches aside and revealing a large mountain spring. I gaped in astonishment; it looked like something that belonged more in a rainforest than in the mountains of New Hampshire, except everything was brown instead of green.

Water cascaded down jutting rocks, falling into a deep pool below. The cliff was about twenty feet up and covered with mossy vegetation. Trees surrounded the area so it felt completely cut off from the outside world.

As I tried to take everything in, a blur of movement from the top of the cliff cut my eye. Jasper threw himself from the top of the rocks. I gasped in horror as he turned a couple of back flips and then landed smoothly in the water below. Alice giggled at my reaction. "Vampire, can't be hurt, remember?" I laughed sheepishly; I still wasn't used to the whole immortal aspect of our lives. I knew it was difficult to hurt one of us but other than tangling with the bear I hadn't put myself into a situation where in my human self would have been hurt yet. "I thought you were all about the cliff diving, anyway."

"Not funny." Arms snaked around my waist and hard lips pressed to my neck. "Hello, love, are you ready to swim?"

I turned in Edward's arms and gasped at the sight of him in nothing but swim trunks. Would there ever come a time when he didn't turn my knees to jelly just from looking at him? I honestly hoped not. His sculpted chest just begged to be touched by my hands and they were on him before I even completed the thought. His green swim shorts hung low, his hip bones jutting just above the waistband. I wanted to lick them.

Jasper emerged from the water and heaved a hugely put upon sigh. "Can you two control yourselves for even a few minutes?" Water sliced over his equally impressive torso as he pushed his dripping hair out of his face. "Turn off the lust for an hour, okay? Then you two can have this place to yourselves, I promise."

I buried my face in Edward's damp chest, embarrassed that my reaction to him was so obvious. Emmett let out a gut busting laugh. "Busted, Bella!" he shouted as he vaulted off the cliff, cannon balling into the water and sending up an impressive splash. Edward's chest rumbled with his own laughter, his hands trailing up and down my back gently.

"Don't be embarrassed, love. I always want you." I looked up then and gave him a soft kiss, my hands brushing the wet copper strands of hair out of his golden eyes. His hands tightened at my waist and he pulled me closer. I moaned softly and pulled harder on his hair, knowing he loved it when I did that. Before things could go any further, though, Edward jerked me to the side as something streaked past. I heard the word "damn" before another impressive splash sounded, the water sloshing up and drenching me.

Emmett was treading water ten feet away, scowling murderously at Edward. "Why'd you have to ruin my fun? She never would have known I was coming!"

Edward shook his head. "She would have known I knew and I would have gotten in trouble. I'd rather face your wrath than Bella's any day."

Emmett rolled his eyes. "You're so whipped."

Edward kissed me and then was in the water a second later, dunking Emmett below the clear surface and then pulling him up by his hair. "Takes one to know one, brother of mine." One of Emmett's giant arms emerged from the water and shoved Edward below and a full on water battle was on, water flying, limbs crashing together thunderously.

"Is there going to be any water left for me to swim in?" I asked Alice, pulling my sopping t-shirt and shorts off. All of a sudden the horseplay in the water came to a dead stop.

Edward let out a strangled groan as Emmett's eyes got impossibly wide. "Is that a key?" I glanced down at my bellybutton ring and nodded, running my finger over the dangly gold piece. Jasper guffawed loudly next to me while Alice giggled. Rosalie, sitting on a huge boulder next to the waterfall, removed her sunglasses, rolled her eyes and went back to her sunbathing, her skin glinting in the patch of sunshine she'd found. She was in a barely there white bikini and her blond hair fell perfectly across her shoulders, not a drop of water had touched her skin.

Emmett looked completely delighted by something, an impish grin lighting his features. "What a nice key you have there, Bella."

"Um, thank you." I knew he was fascinated by the bellybutton ring but surely he was used to it by now.

"Did Edward find that key for you, Bella?"

"No, Alice did." I don't know what was so funny about that but all of them lost it at my words, even Rosalie joined in the laughter. Her hand crashed down on the grey boulder, leaving a huge crack in it from the force of her touch. I thought Emmett might die of asphyxiation, he was laughing so hard he appeared to be choking. Edward was biting his lip, struggling to control his hilarity but failing. Jasper and Alice were clutching one another and literally howling. I swear they'd all have tears rolling down their cheeks if we could cry.

"What in the hell is so funny?" I didn't use the "H" word very often but I hated not being part of the joke. Or being the joke, as it appeared I was now.

Edward managed to get a semblance of control, a look of surprise replacing the laughter. He had never heard me talk like that before. "I'm sorry, love, we're not laughing at you really."

I crossed my arms and glared at all of them. "Then what are you laughing at?"

Edward exchanged a glance with Alice and started to answer but Emmett jumped in. "A long time ago we had a funny thing happen with a key."

That wasn't enough of an answer. "And what would that be?"

Emmett looked panicked for a second but then smiled. "Alice and Jasper like to have kinky times, you know?" Actually I did not know and I glanced at the two vampires in question, both of them gaping at Emmett. "Anyway, seeing as we vamps are so strong, you have to get some really strong metal if you want to play with handcuffs and chains and such."

Jasper shifted uncomfortably next to me. "So Alice got them some reinforced steel that they actually couldn't break and they went at it, you know?" I was extremely uncomfortable at the turn the conversation had taken.

"Okay, I get it; you don't have to say anymore."

But Emmett was off and running. "Yes I do! Anyway, the morons cuffed themselves together and went to town. It was loud and echoed throughout the house and disturbed us all. I got irritated so I snuck into the room while they were getting busy and took off with the key. Alice was a little too busy to see what I was up to." Alice looked at the ground and said nothing, clearly as embarrassed as I was. "I took off and left them behind, cuffed together and none too pleased about it. Edward ended up having to pick the lock to get them out. So, that's the key story!" He looked inordinately pleased about it.

I didn't know what to say but I had to say something. "Thanks for clearing that up, Emmett." I didn't think I'd be asking them to clarify again. Next time I was left out of a joke I'd just let it go.

Jasper let out a growl and pounced on Emmett, the water flying yet again. "You're a dead man."

"What?" Emmett sputtered, choking on some water he'd taken in. "It's better than…" and he was cut off as Jasper dunked him under the water, Edward helping so they could keep him submerged awhile.

I turned to Alice who still wasn't looking at me. "I'm sorry I asked, Alice. Don't be embarrassed."

She raised her head and gave me a sweet smile. "I'm not embarrassed; I'm just contemplating ways to get back at him." I laughed, remembering the opera music in his Jeep. No doubt she'd come up with something to torture him.

"If you need any help, let me know." She grinned at me.

"Are you two going to stand out there and yap all day or are you going to get in the water? Come on, Daredevil, we all know that you have a thing for cliff jumping, let's go!" Emmett was out of the water, shaking off as if he was a dog rather than a vampire. Water rained down on me from his hulking figure.

Edward frowned in reaction to Emmett's words, no doubt remembering how close I'd been to dying the last time I attempted cliff diving. Well, that wasn't an issue now, was it? I clambered up the rocks behind Emmett, still amazed at my ability to balance on such precarious surfaces. If I'd attempted this a few months ago I would have fallen multiple times. Now, it was as easy as walking a straight line…well as easy for someone not ridiculously clumsy. I had issues with straight lines back when I was human too.

I reached the top of the cliff and peered down at Edward watching me from below. His eyes bore into me and I felt the heat from his look sear me from the top of my head down to my toes. God, I wanted him. Always. It was never enough. A slow smile stole across his handsome face, as if he'd heard my thoughts. I knew he hadn't but we were attuned enough to feel one another, at least it seemed that way to me.

"Ugh, would you two stop having eye sex and get with the jumping?" I turned and smacked Emmett upside his head, borrowing one of Rosalie's patented moves. I heard her laugh softly from her spot on the rock; though I wasn't sure if she was laughing at Emmett's words or my actions. I decided it didn't matter. Things had been less antagonistic with Rose since Aro's visit; we weren't exactly friendly but she had dialed down some of the hostility and deigned to spend time with the entire family when we were gathered watching movies or group hunting. It was progress and I was happy with it. Hopefully she was as well.

"Come on down, Bella, we want to have a chicken fight!" I saw that Alice had clambered on Jasper's shoulders. I couldn't help but have a flash of heavy chains when I looked at them. I tried to shake it off and stepped back from the cliff, wanting a running start for my jump.

"Don't go back too far, you'll fly right over the lagoon," Emmett warned. I heeded his advice and took several steps forward before kicking into a run. I zipped to the end of the cliff and threw myself over, enjoying the feeling of falling to the water below.

It was amazing how different this time was from my other cliff jumping experience. Then, I truly felt I had nothing to live for other than the memory of the man who was waiting for me below. Though Jacob had helped me to feel less numb, I still hadn't been a whole person. I had lived for the memory of Edward; it was the only thing that really made me feel alive. I never would have believed that I'd be here, seven months later, married to the man I never thought I'd see again, with him for eternity. It was amazing how much my world had changed.

Whereas last time I jumped my only thoughts had been of Edward, this time I was able to see everything around me. The trees were swaying gently in the breeze, the water was rippling below, Alice was tugging on Jasper's hair as he hopped around in the water making her bounce and Edward was watching me, his face impassive. I registered all of it as my body sliced through the air. I got into a diving position although I'd never really high dived before and cut into the water. I kicked up automatically and rose to the surface, pushing my hair out of my eyes to find Edward at my side. The temperature felt lukewarm to me, very close to my actual skin temperature so that it was barely noticeable.

I grinned at Edward and he smiled back, though it didn't reach his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his, trying to bring him back from the bad memories of our time apart. "Hey, I'm here and I'm just fine."

His arms tightened around me. "You're much better than just fine, Bella. I just can't stand to think about that time, when I almost lost you forever. I was so stupid to leave you. I'll never forgive myself for that."

I grabbed the sides of his face and made him look at me. "Don't say that. You don't know where we'd be today if you hadn't left. We might not be together, or if we were, I might not be changed. Danger could still be hanging over us at every turn. You could be at war the wolves…who knows what would be happening? We had to go through what we did to get where we are today. And I love where we are today. I wouldn't do anything different, Edward."

His eyes bore into mine and he read the truth in what I was saying there. He closed his eyes then and pressed his forehead to mine. "You're right. I know you're right but to see you flying over that cliff…it just brought it all back. For a second it was like I was there with you at La Push, watching you plunge toward your death and unable to do anything about it. I hate feeling powerless, especially when it comes to you, Bella."

"You're not powerless, Edward, and neither am I anymore. You gave me strength and I'm not talking about physical strength. With you, I can do anything." His lips met mine then and I wrapped my legs around his waist, feeling his hardness pressing against me.

"Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, I love you! I love you more! Kiss me Eddie!" Emmett's attempt at a woman voice was high pitched and piercing. I glanced at him, poised on the cliff above, glaring down at us. "Are you done now? Can we cut the true love crap and have a little fun?" I grudgingly unwound from Edward and nodded at him. "Thank you! Save your sexy times for when your big brothers are not around, okay?"

I glanced at Jasper who was just shaking his head and laughing. Edward ducked below the water and came up underneath me, putting me on his shoulders. He walked us over to where Jasper and Alice were; the boy's shoulders just above the water.

"Rosie, do you want to take them on?" Emmett pleaded. Rosalie slid her sunglasses down her nose and just gave him a look. "Fine, I'll be referee." He hopped over the edge, doing another cannon ball into the water and swimming quickly over to our sides. "Alright, the rules are, there ain't no rules." Great, he was quoting Grease. "First girl in the water loses. Ready?"

I turned to Alice, perched on Jasper's shoulders and bouncing with excitement. "Can't you just tell us who wins and let us avoid the battling?"

She giggled and shook her head. "That wouldn't be any fun, now would it? How about we up the stakes to make it more interesting?"

"No way, if you want to bet that means we lose. Edward, what did she see happening?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I have to keep you out of the loop, like Jasper is. Two know, two don't, one on each side. It's fair."

I huffed and tugged on his hair. "Fair, who needs to be fair?"

"Not so rough, love." I loosened my grip after giving him one last spiteful tug.

Emmett snickered. "Yeah, that's Alice & Jasper's thing." Alice's foot shot out and connected with Emmett's head with a loud booming noise. "Hey!"

"I swear to God, Emmett, I'm going to…"

I decided to distract her. "What shall we bet?"

She narrowed her eyes at me. "So now you want to bet?"

I shrugged. "Why not?"

A slow smile spread across her face. "Okay, the winning couple gets to stay here, alone. The rest leave."

That sounded good to me. Now I had some incentive. "You're on."

Edward turned to Jasper. "I guess they're in charge."

He shrugged. "They're the ones doing all the work. Fine by me."

"Me too."

"Alright, let's get the show on the road. First one to fall off her fella's shoulder is the loser and we shall shun her for all time." Alice and I both rolled our eyes at Emmett. "On your marks, get set, go!"

I eyed Alice as Edward stepped closer to Jasper. She was little but she was feisty. My arms were longer but she had the ability to see what I was going to do once I decided to do it. She clearly had a major advantage. Of course I had strength on my side so…Alice cut short my ruminations by leaning over and pulling my hair.

"Alice! I can't grow that back if you pull it out!"

She giggled. "It's not my fault you have really long hair."

"If you pull it out, you won't get to style it anymore."

Her eyes widened with horror and she promptly let go of my hair. The rare occasions that I let her play with it made her very happy. I took advantage of the hair diversion to grab her shoulders and push with all my might. She fell partially back but caught herself by grabbing Jasper's hair. "Ow, Alice!"

"Don't worry, he likes it!" Emmett supplied helpfully, clearly thrilled to have their sex story out in the open so he could make fun of them in front of me now.

Jasper growled at him. "Watch it, Em, I'm sure we could come up with some great stories to tell Bella. There was that time you dressed up as…"

Emmett gasped. "Not another word or you'll be disqualified!"

"You said there were no rules," Edward pointed out through his laughter, which was causing my balance to falter a bit.

"The new rule is, whatever I say goes. Back to the battle!" He took two fingers into his mouth and blew out a piercing whistle. Alice lunged at me again, Edward stepped back in response to her movement and it left her hanging rather precariously bent across Jasper's right shoulder. I brought my right arm down on Alice's back and she fell forward, landing face first in the water. Jasper caught her and brought her up, spitting water out of her mouth. I braced for retaliation but it didn't come. Alice grinned at me.

"You're welcome! Everybody out, give the love birds their private time!" I slid off Edward's shoulders and he caught me, linking his arms around my waist as everybody took their leave.

Emmett grumbled about how quickly the match was over but Jasper distracted him by mentioning a cave he'd seen on the way up; a cave that might house a bear. Emmett took off like a shot and the others followed, laughing at his enthusiasm for his possible lunch.

"Did Alice throw the match?"

"Does it matter, love?" He started nibbling on my ear and I decided maybe it didn't matter after all. She knew, though, Jasper told us we'd have some alone time earlier so I'm sure the outcome was already decided.

"It doesn't matter but I'd like to know why she let me win."

"Maybe she wanted to do something nice for us?" His tongue ran behind my ear and I shivered in response.

"You know but you're not telling." I pouted and he used the opportunity to capture my lip in his own. I moaned as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and bit gently.

"I don't feel much like talking now, do you?" Uh, no, I didn't. In response, I pressed my lips more firmly to his and wrapped my legs back around his waist. I could spend days kissing Edward. Being with him was my favorite activity and I needed it more than blood or air. He pulled his lips from mine and smirked at me, making me want to bite him. "Should I take that as a no?" I decided that biting was a good idea and sank my teeth into his lip in response. He hissed and grabbed onto my hair, pulling my head back and exposing my neck to him.

His teeth sank into my neck, right at the spot of my scar. He loved to lick and bite me there and I have to admit that it excited me as well. Something about it being the last remnant of my humanity…I couldn't begin to explain it but it was clear we both felt it. I tightened my legs around him and felt his hardness pressed against me, our bathing suits the only barrier between us. "Edward, please."

He removed his teeth from my neck and ran them along the curve of my shoulder. "Please what, love?" His velvet voice was a purr against my skin, rumbling through me and making me tremble with need.

"Please make love to me now." I needed to feel him inside of me, the desire for him had been in the back of my mind since I saw him in those green swim trunks and it was back full force now that we were alone.

Edward's tongue slicked across my collarbone to the right side of my body, tracing along that shoulder and up my neck to my ear, mirroring the path he'd taken on the left side. "Why so anxious, love? We have all day if we want." His voice was a whisper in my ear as his tongue flicked my lobe back and forth. I whimpered. He knew what a weakness the ear was for me.

"So take me now and then take me later and again after that." His gentle laughter sent more sparks shooting through my body.

"So impatient, my gorgeous Bella. I want to savor you for awhile. Remember how I told you that you smell even better in the rain?" I remembered, it was that fateful day on the baseball field, when James and Victoria came into our lives and made everything even more complicated than it already was. I didn't say anything and just nodded in answer to his question. "Well, not only do you smell better, you taste better as well." With that his tongue went back to work, lavishing my ears and neck with attention.

I tangled my hands in his hair, the urge to hold him to me warring with the desire to push him away and demand that he make love to me right now. I let the sensations he was creating sweep through me. My skin felt like it was on fire but it was a good burn, the kind an addict seeks when they're getting high. That was it, I was high on Edward and I never wanted to come down from it. I barely noticed when my bikini top loosened, Edward having pulled the strings as his lips worked their magic on my skin.

He grabbed my legs and shifted me higher, my breasts now out of the water and right at his mouth level. His eyes were black with his need for me; I'm sure mine were the same color. He leaned forward and captured my right breast in his lips while his hand caressed the left. He bit down on my nipple and now I was the one hissing with my own need. I barely registered him moving us through the water, the sound of the waterfall coming closer as his lips worked me into a frenzy. I arched against him, wanting him to take even more of me in his mouth. He responded to my unspoken question and did so, kissing and biting each one.

All of a sudden water beat down upon me. Edward had steered us right into the base of the waterfall. The pressure would have hurt were I still human but now the water felt like a deep massage against my marble skin. I tilted my head back and let the water stream through my hair and sluice down my torso as Edward continued his ministrations on my chest. The dual sensations rocketed through my body until I was a quivering mass of need.

Edward moved me back down his body; pressed against my center I could feel that his arousal matched mine. He pushed me against the back of the rock, my head was behind the falling water but it crashed across my body as I arched toward him. "Now, Bella?" I more moaned than said yes, but he understood, reaching between us and tearing both our bathing suit bottoms from our bodies.

He entered me without preamble, the force of his thrusts pushing me back against the rock wall as the water pounded down on both of us. I wrapped my legs around him and met his movements with my own, the thunder of our bodies crashing together lost in the thundering sound of the water falling around us. It was strange, like we were part of the water and it was part of us, our movements choreographed with the flow of the water. It hit where we were joined, combining its force with ours to make for even more power as our hips crashed together.

The water pounding outside of me coupled with Edward pounding inside of me sent me flying over the edge, pleasure coursing through my body in unending waves just like the water that washed over me. Edward let go when he felt me tighten around him, our bodies still as shudders ran through us, the after effects of really spectacular sex. Little aftershocks of pleasure ran through me as I pushed away from the rock wall and wrapped my arms around Edward, burying my face in his neck and kissing him there softly. He tilted his head back and let the water flow down his face before leading us away from the waterfall.

He led us to land and wrapped us both in a giant towel, not bothering to separate from me so we could truly dry off. He sat on the ground, holding me straddled against his body. His lips found mine and we kissed for a long time. The kisses weren't passionate; they were soft and warm and felt like home. After awhile he pulled back and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "How are you, love?"

I laughed quietly at the question. "I don't think I could be better if I tried."

His hands began gently massaging my shoulders, looking for knots that just weren't there. "Are you feeling relaxed?"

I tiled my neck to the right to give him better access to that side of my body. "Can't you feel that I am?" He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my neck.

"You certainly feel that way; I just wanted to be sure."

I narrowed my eyes at him, some tension returning to my body at his words. "Why?"

His eyes met mine and he squeezed my shoulders gently. "Because, love, tomorrow you're going to be around a human for the first time since your change." What?

* * *

**Mostly a chapter of fluff but we're leading up to some big things. I hope you enjoyed it and if you did, you'll leave a review. Consider it a belated birthday present to me since my bday was yesterday!**


	30. Chapter 30

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 30

BPOV

To say that I was nervous would be understating things tremendously. After Edward's pronouncement, fun times at the lagoon went flying out of my head and I demanded that he take me home. I had to confer with Alice and make absolutely sure that I would be able to control myself. It was all her fault anyway; she'd ordered some new furniture to be delivered. It's not like there weren't eight super strong individuals to bring in a new daybed for her room. Any one of us could have done it but she'd requested delivery.

I flew down the mountain, anger and fear propelling me faster than I'd gone before. Edward caught up to me but I noticed that he actually had to push himself to maintain pace this time.

"Love, we wouldn't be doing this if Alice wasn't sure. She said everything is going to be fine."

"And as you were once so fond of pointing out to me, Alice's visions are subjective. Things can change. Or was that only a line you spouted when you were afraid of changing me?" Edward smirked at me as he leaped over a thorny bush.

"They change based upon what you decide. Do you think you're going to decide that you suddenly want to eat a human?"

"No, I am not going to actively decide that, Edward. But what if I can't control myself? What if I'm doing alright and then the deliveryman drops the chair and it falls on his toe and he bleeds? Remember Jasper and my paper cut?" He winced at that. "And Jasper has a lot more experience with humans than I do! So much could go wrong, Edward. I don't want to do this." It was too great a risk, not just one but two human lives. More than that really, their friends and families would be affected if I killed them. I could not do it.

Edward reached out and grabbed my arm. I let him stop me but yanked myself away from him, pacing about the woods. "Bella, if you don't want to try, then we won't. Nobody is going to force you to do anything." No, they wouldn't force me but they would make me feel like a failure if I didn't at least give it a shot. Emmett would tease me endlessly and Jasper would be disappointed that I'd wasted all his training.

"I'm scared, Edward."

He was at my side then, stilling my nervous movement, clasping my hands in his own. His golden eyes burned into mine. I searched them, looking for signs of anger or disappointment but all I saw was love, the same thing I always saw when I looked at him. "Of course you're scared, it's only natural. But you know what, Bella?" I shook my head. "I'm not scared. Not at all. I know you can do it and I'd know that without Alice's vision. I know _you_. I know what you're capable of and I don't have one shred of doubt that you will make it through without harming anyone." His belief in me shone in his face and in his tone. It was almost enough to make me believe I could do it.

I clutched his hands tightly in mine, mindful not to squeeze too hard and cause him pain. "What if I kill them?" Try as I might, I couldn't shake the image of two large men drained of every drop of their blood, pale corpses on Esme's living room rug.

"You won't, Bella. You can't! Look at yourself right now. You're completely freaked out, aren't you?" I nodded, of course I was. Everything in me was screaming to stay here, far away from the house, far away from the temptation that live humans would bring me. "Yet here you are, holding my hands and controlling the pressure you use. You are actively thinking about not hurting me, aren't you?" I frowned but nodded. "You can do that, now, when your emotions are all over the place. How could you not think you could do that tomorrow, when you will desire nothing more than to not hurt the deliverymen?"

That was different, wasn't it? "It's because I don't want to hurt you, Edward."

"You don't want to hurt them either, do you?"

"No, but I don't love them like I do you."

He caressed my cheek, his touch soothing me. "Your love for me is something I will never question or take for granted, Bella, but even if you didn't love me you wouldn't hurt me. You're incapable of it. You have such a huge heart, Love, it's one of your most attractive traits. You are kind and gentle and loving. You cannot hurt those men. You won't hurt them. You know it. Look inside yourself and see, just once see what I do. You're so strong, Bella. The strongest person I know. You can do this."

I closed my eyes and let his words wash over me. Edward's belief in me was astounding. Of course, it was silly, I couldn't compare my depthless love for him with my worry over some nameless deliverymen but I understood what he was saying. I didn't know these men; I hadn't even seen them yet, but I felt responsible for them. I had to make sure they returned safely to their families.

I straightened my shoulders and opened my eyes. "If I try this…you'll all be there?"

A triumphant smile flashed across his face. "Of course! Every one of us will be with you, except for Carlisle who will be at work. Jasper will be on hand to keep you calm, if need be. Emmett is more than happy at the idea of tackling you should you make a move towards the men. Alice will be watching every move you make and anticipating any move you might make. And I'll be there, at your side and holding your hand. I won't even have to hold it tightly, Bella, because I know you won't need to be restrained by me. You'll take care of it all yourself."

His belief in me bolstered me immeasurably. "I want to talk to Alice. I need to know everything going in. I'm not going to risk two innocent lives."

He brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "Of course not, love. We can go talk to her right now, I'm sure she's waiting for us." I started to let go of his hand but he tightened his grip on mine. "Bella, I'm so proud of you. You're nothing short of incredible. That you're ready to be around humans, only two months after your change, is astounding. And don't doubt that you are ready. Your work with Jasper has been leading to this moment. He knows you can handle it; we wouldn't be trying this without his approval either, despite what Alice saw." Jasper thought I was ready too? Edward, well, that was no surprise, he thought I could do anything. Jasper was very aware of my limitations and was quick to tell me when I was doing something wrong. If he felt I was ready, then I really must be.

Edward must have seen something change in my face. "That makes you feel better, doesn't it? That Jasper signed off on this?"

I bit my lip, worried that he was going to take what I said the wrong way. "Edward, your belief in me means the world to me, you know that. But we both know that you're always going to support me, even when I'm wrong." He grimaced but nodded. "Jasper won't do that; he'll tell me that I can't do something or that I'm not doing it correctly. He'll call me out."

Edward laughed softly. "You do have my measure, don't you?"

"I just know how much you love me, Edward. I'd be the same way if the situation were reversed. Your encouragement means the world to me. Sometimes, though, I need the push to be better. Jasper does that."

"I know he does, love, and I'm glad that he's been such a help to you."

"Without him, I wouldn't remotely be considering doing this."

"I know."

"So, I'm going to try."

"No, you're going to do it."

I smiled at him. "Alright, I'm going to do it."

His answering smile rivaled the sun in its brightness. "Let's go see Alice and Jasper and put your mind at ease." I released his hand then and we both took off to find our sister and brother, I really did need to know everything she saw happening so I could prepare for it as best I could and I needed to hear Jasper's support with my own two ears. Edward wouldn't lie to me but he would exaggerate to make me feel better and we both knew I knew it.

We zipped down the mountain, Edward keeping his pace even with mine so we'd arrive home together. We walked into our house only to find Alice and Jasper both perched on the couch in the library, a cozy fire blazing in the hearth. Alice beamed at me. "You wanted to talk to us?"

I just shook my head at her obvious enthusiasm and sat next to her on the couch. She instantly cuddled into my side, laying her head on my shoulder, her spiky hair tickling my neck. "Yes, I do. I can't believe you're doing this to me, Alice. I'm not ready."

She lifted her head and her golden eyes scorched mine; they were as wide as saucers and shone with sincerity. "Oh Bella, you are ready! I wouldn't have done it if there was even a shred of a chance that you'd lose control!" Her lower lip trembled. "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it first, but when I saw everything would be okay…well, I just went ahead. To be fair, I did talk to Jasper, Edward and Carlisle first and they all agreed with me that it was for the best."

"How can it possibly be for the best, Alice? I'm still a newborn, only two months old!"

She bit her lip, looking eerily like me in that moment. "But Bella, we're going to be faking your death in a matter of weeks at this point." My chest clenched at those words. She was right, we were getting very close to the holidays and it was nearly time to arrange my "passing". But what did that have to do with anything?

"What does that have to do with me being exposed to humans?"

Alice exchanged a glance with Edward, who was sitting next to me on the arm of the sofa, his hand massaging the back of my neck. "Well, in order to fake your death we have to leave here, you know? We've talked about it some…" and clearly not included me in said conversation, "and we think it would be best if you and Edward had a boat accident."

"A boat accident? Where? When?"

"We have a cabin in Maine. You and Edward will go up there for a little private weekend getaway. You'll take out the new boat, which will have a leak in the gas line. The boat explodes, bodies are never found." Alice spoke matter-of-factly, like we weren't talking about officially ending my life, as far as my friends and family knew.

It was too much, I couldn't think about that right now on top of this whole human thing. I felt the anxiety rising as I pictured Charlie's reaction to the news of my demise in the Atlantic Ocean. He would be so crushed. I felt like I couldn't breathe, like a boulder was pressing against my stomach. The pressure quickly lifted though, as I felt a burst of calm coming from the end of the couch. "Thanks, Jasper."

He nodded and raised an eyebrow at me. "One thing at a time, Bella. We'll deal with that when we need to, for now we need to focus on getting you through tomorrow." He was right; of course, I could worry about that once I got through this challenge.

Alice grabbed my hand. "As I was saying before you got all worked up, you need to be exposed to humans now, in a controlled environment, before we head up to Maine. There's no way to avoid humans entirely on that trip. No matter what we do, I see you coming across people in some way, even if you run the whole way. So, you're better off testing yourself here." She was right. At least here I'd be surrounded by my family in my own home.

I sighed as Edward's fingers began to work their magic on my shoulders, digging in and hitting all my pressure points. Between him and Jasper, I was feeling slightly better. "Tell me how it happens. I need to know everything."

And she was off, telling me about the deliverymen's arrival. I'd sit in the living room between Edward and Jasper with Emmett standing in the doorway between me and the humans, just in case. They would converse with Alice for a few minutes, come in to the house to see where they'd be taking the daybed. Then they'd go to their truck and get the piece of furniture and take it upstairs. The entire thing would take less than half an hour and I'd sit on the couch the whole time according to her vision.

"And that's it? I don't attempt to move or anything?"

"No, at least I can't see your body move a muscle in the visions. I know you stop breathing a time or two, which is perfectly normal and something we all still do from time to time. It's a good precaution to take."

"And you don't see any mishaps whatsoever? Like one of them dropping the daybed on their foot or cutting their finger on a banister or something?"

"Absolutely not."

"But you didn't see me cutting my finger at my birthday party either."

Alice sighed. "I don't know why I didn't see it, Bella. I guess it's because I couldn't see your birthday at all, since you were such a pain about celebrations. After you agreed, I didn't get anything about the party, probably because you were still thinking about getting out of it."

I had to laugh at that one; I had wanted to convince Edward to let me out of going. I wonder where we'd be today if I had. Probably not here, which is the only place I wanted to be, regardless of the possible bloodshed tomorrow. I looked at Jasper who was staring into the fire. He'd winced when I mentioned my birthday and I felt terrible for having brought it up again. "Jasper, I'm sorry, I hope you know that I don't blame you for what happened."

He gave me a half smile. "I know you don't but I do. I should have been better able to control myself. Look at how strong you are, already. I have no excuse for what I did, only regret."

I got up then and crouched in front of him, putting my hands on his knees and staring into his ocher eyes. "No regrets. If I slip tomorrow," Alice started to speak but I cut her off with a look, "if I do, will you hold it against me?"

He looked horrified and took both my hands in his own. "Of course not! You're a newborn, Bella, normally I wouldn't attempt to let you be around a human this early but you're special. You have self control the likes of which I've never seen. I think maybe Carlisle was as strong as you are, seeing as he was on his own and managed to refrain from attacking humans, but he's the only other vampire that I've ever heard of who could resist the call of blood that early."

"What makes you think I can do it?"

"I don't think, I know."

"How do you know?"

"Because I trained you. Because I watched you resist human scents for the past month. Do you realize that the clothes I stole not only had the scent of the human on them but also blood?" My mouth fell open in surprise. "That's right, Bella, after that first week of training I had Carlisle bring me blood from the hospital. I saturated the clothes in them. And not once did you leave the trail to go after it."

"How? How did I do it?"

He gave a sardonic laugh. "I wish I knew. I'm sure it has something to do with your gift, but what that is or how it works I couldn't say. What I do know is that you're determined not to hurt anyone. I can feel that when you're on the trail and you catch the scent I've laid down. Your drive not to give in to the bloodlust is pretty much unparalleled. The only determination I've felt that was remotely close to as strong is from this one." He dropped my hands and pressed a kiss to Alice's forehead and smiled fondly. "And we all know how Alice is when she gets an idea into her head." We all laughed at that; truer words were never spoken.

I stopped laughing and asked him the most important question. "You're really sure that I'm ready for this?"

The mirth left Jasper's face and he narrowed his eyes at me. "Are you questioning my training?"

"No, of course not!" God, had I offended him? I couldn't help my fears.

The stern look was replaced by a grin. "I was just kidding, Bella. Trying to lighten the tension you're all but shouting at me at this point."

"Can't you just use your power on me?"

"Yes, but then you're still going to doubt yourself because I had to help you and we'll have to go through this all over again. So, no, I won't use my power until you're bearing down on one of the unsuspecting humans." I frowned at that response and he took my hands again. "You won't need me, Bella, I know it. But I will be there to support you and to cheer you on when you come out of it without harming a hair on the human's heads."

"You believe in me." He truly did, they all did. I couldn't let them down. I wouldn't let them down. I would tell myself that a thousand times before the men arrived.

"I do and you already know that. We wouldn't do this if we all weren't sure. I wouldn't care if you did take a human life." I flinched at that. "Let me finish! I wouldn't care about the human; I'm not used to looking at them the way you are. But I do care about you and I know what it would do to you if you killed someone. I wouldn't chance the pain it would cause you, Bella. Know that. Feel that." I did feel it, his love for me was a tangible emotion and he was pushing it at me, letting me see just how much was there. I gasped at the intensity of emotion coming from him. It was love and protectiveness, similar to what I felt from Edward but without the passion. Instead it was just a steady hum, comforting, like being wrapped in a warm blanket.

I threw my arms around him, hoping he could feel my love as well. There were so many fabulous things about being changed but other than being with Edward forever, the next best thing was the closeness I now had with Jasper and Emmett. We'd always been friendly but since my change they truly had become my brothers. Jasper returned my embrace. "I know." His words warmed me just as much as his emotions had; I was glad he knew how I felt.

"They're so cute together, aren't they Edward?" Alice tittered. I pulled back to find them both grinning at the two of us. Alice was holding Emmett's silly doll for some unknown reason.

"They are. If I didn't know better I might be tempted to kick my dear brother's butt."

Jasper snorted. "I'd like to see you try."

Edward's smile only widened. "We're pretty evenly matched; last time we fought it was a draw." I remembered it well. The clearing where we'd played baseball, the wolves watching intently as Edward and Jasper showed them how to fight the newborns. The wolves…I felt a pang thinking about that day. Jasper squeezed my arm and I fought back the sadness.

"Yes, it was a draw as I recall."

Jasper's smile turned challenging. "Then I think we should break the tie, don't you?"

"I'm game."

Alice groaned. "Seriously, you're going to do this now? Jazzy, I want to go swimming." She shot me a smile. "It's _our_ turn in the waterfall. Bella, I'm going to take the doll if that's okay?" I felt desire start to flutter in my stomach as I thought back to our alone time in the lagoon. Wait, what does she want Emmett Junior for?

Jasper was up in a flash. "Rain check!" He scooped Alice off the couch and they disappeared before I could say goodbye. Edward chuckled at their abrupt departure.

He slid onto the couch and pulled me into his lap. "Do you feel better now, love?"

I thought about it for a minute before answering. "I do. Knowing what Alice sees and knowing that Jasper feels I'm ready makes me feel more reassured." I scooted around in his arms so I was facing him. "Not that your faith in me doesn't reassure me! You're my strength, Edward."

He kissed my nose. "No, you're incredibly strong, even without me. I have all the faith in the world in you, Bella, but that's not because I'm blinded by love for you. It's because I know and admire the woman you are."

"You admire me, huh?"

"Every inch of you."

"How about you show me just how much you admire every inch of me?"

A sexy smile stole over his impossibly handsome face. "How about I do just that?" He swept me up from the couch and carried me to the bed and proceeded to worship me for hours. He was the perfect distraction as always; his touch excited me but steadied me at the same time.

We lay in the bed for hours, just touching and talking about nothing, feeling that bubble of contentment where it felt like we were the only two beings in the entire world. Edward burst the bubble when he ran a hand down the curve of my spine. "Love, it's almost time for the delivery. Are you ready to go over there?"

I stared at him and bit my lip but nodded slowly.

"If you're not, we can leave. We'll go hunting." His hand moved to my cheek, his thumb tracing over my jawbone.

"No, I can do this. You all say I can so I can." I got out of bed and pulled on jeans and a Dartmouth sweatshirt. It was best that I look weather appropriate, wasn't it?

"Hey, Edward? Why did Alice want the doll?"

He laughed long and hard. "Revenge." Of course. Emmett had embarrassed her by telling me the sex story and now she was going to get back at him. He was absurdly attached to that doll, coming over to visit with it whenever Rosalie was out of earshot. It was slightly insane but he looked so cute with the tiny version of himself that I refrained from commenting.

"What is she going to do?"

Edward just shook his head, his bronze hair glinting in the lamplight. "You'll see soon enough." Knowing Alice, it would be good. I laughed and took Edward's hand, his strength and support flowed into me at first touch. It gave me the bolster that I needed to go into the main house. Esme greeted us at the door and enveloped me in one of her soft hugs. She smelled of lilac and rainstorms. I closed my eyes and just absorbed the scent and feel of her.

She pulled back just enough to take my face in both of her hands and stare into my eyes. "Bella, I am so proud of you. You've come incredibly far in a short amount of time."

I wanted to cry and not for the first time cursed my inability to do so. "What if I slip, Esme?"

She pushed my hair back and smiled gently. "You won't, but if you ever do, none of us will love you any less. Most of us have done so and our feelings for one another remain as unchanging as we are."

"How can you be so sure?"

"A mother knows, Bella. Call it intuition, call it instinct, call it whatever you want to. I don't have Alice's gift of sight but I don't need it here because I feel it deep inside of me." It was my turn to hug her. My own mother wasn't here but I knew if she was she would have said something just like that, albeit with a sexual reference or two thrown in because that's how Renee rolled.

"Thanks, Mom." Esme pulled back, her eyes shining as they did on the rare occasions when I called her that.

"You go, sit with your brothers and sisters. It's almost time." I fought against the urge to run and made my feet follow Edward into the living room. I could hear the delivery truck already; it was a couple of miles away. I bit back a smile when I glanced up and saw that Edward and Jasper had situated themselves on the couch already, leaving the perfect amount of space in between them for me to fit. Before I could walk to them Emmett accosted me, wrapping me in one of his giant bear hugs and swinging me around.

"Bella! This is awesome! Your first time around humans since your change! I'm so excited!" He kept twirling me in circles, my hair flying into my face as he turned me round and round. I forgot the impending test of my will and let loose with giggles as he kept me flying through the air. Only Emmett could distract me at a time like this.

"Em, if you don't stop turning me in circles I'm going to be the first vampire to projectile vomit from dizziness." He chuckled and put me down, patting my hair back into place and then gripping my shoulders in his giant hands.

"You ready for this, little sis?"

Nerves fluttered but I looked at the happiness in his face and the confidence in Edward and Jasper's and told him that I was.

A wide grin split his face and his dimples flashed at me. "I kind of hope that you do lose a little control; it'll be fun to take you down!"

I scoffed at him. "Like you could, I am stronger than you, you know."

"Everyone keeps saying that but thus far you haven't proved it."

"Then I will. But later, though, not now, please."

Emmett's grin faded and he gripped my shoulders tightly. "Don't worry; I won't let you through, no matter what. I wouldn't let you do that to yourself." I knew he wouldn't and I hugged him tightly.

"Thanks, Em."

"Go sit down, I need to take my guard dog position!" He bounced into the doorway and struck a menacing pose, his arms crossed and his muscles bulging out of the bright yellow muscle shirt he was wearing.

"You know, the deliverymen are going to take one look at you and ask you to carry the furniture up the stairs." His stern expression fell into another heart melting grin.

"I'll just tell them you're the brute in the family and have you do it then."

I snorted and plopped down between Edward and Jasper, taking each of their hands in one of my own. As if they coordinated it, both of them squeezed my hands at the same time. Of course, maybe they did. Edward could hear Jasper's thoughts, after all.

Jasper leaned over and looked into my face, I guess searching to see if I was truly okay. "Close your eyes." I furrowed my brow at him but did so anyway. "Breathe. Can you smell them?" I inhaled deeply and caught it; the distinct scent of two different humans. The venom welled in my mouth and I felt my muscles start to bunch as they always did before I went after my prey. _No, Bella. You don't want them, no matter how good they smell. You do not want to do this. _My inner voice did its job, my body slowly relaxing. The boys responded to my calming by lessening their grips on my hands, which had tightened due to my initial reaction to the human scent.

"Keep breathing it in, Bella." I realized that I had stopped, holding my breath when I started relaxing. I took in another ragged breath, the scent tearing through me and screaming at me to run and make it mine. I held tightly to Edward and Jasper's hands, willing myself again to remain calm. I inhaled again, the burn becoming more familiar with each pull of air into my lungs. "That's right, breathe in and breathe out. You can tolerate it, can't you?" I nodded, not wanting to cease my breathing. I had a rhythm going, breathe in, burn, breathe out, swallow venom and do it again.

"You're doing wonderfully, Bella." Edward's voice pierced my concentration, his thumb tracing over my hand and sending those comforting sparks through my body. I focused on that as I took in the next breath and noticed that the burn lessened with the awareness of Edward's touch. His effect on me was incredible.

"Edward, when you touch me…" I gritted my teeth against the pull of that scent; it was getting more pungent the closer they got to the house. It would only be a minute now.

"What about when I touch you, love?"

"It helps." I bit off the words, gasping in pain as the odor tore into me. Edward's other hand moved to my arm, tracing up and down, the tingles shooting though me and igniting a different kind of fire in my body. The two desires warred within me for a moment but then the electricity won out and I was able to breathe again. I still wanted that scent but I wanted Edward's hands on me more.

A rumbling engine sounded outside followed by two quick door slams. Alice skipped in the room and smiled at me. "It'll be just fine, Bella, you'll see. The worst of it is already over." Was she serious? They hadn't even stepped into the room yet and the pain had been searing before Edward touched me. Or was he, again, the answer? I decided to think about nothing but him as I heard the footsteps approaching the front door.

His golden eyes shone at me as he ran his hand up and down my arm. He let go of my hand and wrapped his other arm around me, pushing my hair back from my neck and placing his hand there. I could feel the heat pulsing between us. _ I want to kiss him. I want to touch him. I want to sink my teeth into the necks and still those beautiful beating hearts that are now on the porch, knocking on the door; innocent lambs that I could slaughter in just a matter of moments. _

_Edward's lips, Edward's magnificent hard body, planes and angles and warm flowing blood in my mouth, venom welling, thrashing victim with dying eyes. Victim with children and families, people who loved them as I loved my family. Hot blood, pounding pulse, deafening heartbeat; how I want it. Much like I want Edward, to sink my teeth into his unyielding skin and taste that honey and sunshine flavor and the rusty taste of the blood; life in my hands. Blood pouring down my throat, Edward's tongue in my mouth, sucking the life out of the men, pounding hearts, Edward pounding into me; golden eyes, copper hair, red lips, crimson blood, salt and honey and man. My man, my victims, my family, their families, life and death and my parents hearing I died and the look of disgust in Jacob's eyes if he ever saw me again and red eyes, my eyes were close to gold now, kind of orange/gold but I ate the tasty humans they'd be red again and I'd have to try again and I could never go to school and to the mall, not that I wanted to go to the mall, maybe I should suck them dry. Mmm suck…Edward, long piano playing fingers, silken hair and gorgeous smile._

_Footsteps in the hallway, heartbeats echoing through the house. Do they feel me? Do they sense what I want to do to them? I could be humane. One snap of the neck, they'd never feel the pain. I bet if I drained one, Jasper would take the other. It's hard for him. I can't do that to him. If I slip, he'll slip and he doesn't want to let Alice down. I don't want to let any of them down, especially not Edward. He has such faith in me. Alice is chirping, they're going upstairs, taking their precious blood with them. I can still taste it though, it's so very close. It could be mine in just a matter of seconds. Emmett couldn't stop me. He'd feel terrible if he let me by but I'm stronger so he would forgive himself. They'd all forgive me. Just one little taste of human blood. I need to know what I'm missing, right? We could arrange a little accident on the roadway, nobody would be the wiser. Nobody would suspect I killed two men. _

_I would know though. Edward would know. Would he look at me differently? Would I repulse him? Ahhh feel the electricity of his touch, what it does to me. I want him all the time. ALL THE TIME. If he only knew. Thank God he can't read my mind. Why can't he read my mind? What is wrong with me? I'm defective, clearly. I can't even be a normal vampire. Here I sit, wanting to eat and denying myself. Why am I doing that?_

_Oh yes, innocent people, I don't want to kill them. Why don't I kill not innocent people? Edward could help me, he could read their minds and tell me who was bad. I could dispense justice. I'd be like a hero then, right? Except that killing was wrong and even bad people have people who love them. I don't know why they would love them, but they do. _

_They're coming back down the stairs. I want them. One taste. I can stop after one taste, Jasper can voodoo them somehow and they won't remember. Wait a minute, of course they'll remember, it's not like Jasper can hypnotize people. That would be a cool power to have. Maybe that's my power. I'll tell Emmett and we'll work on it. He'd like that. _

_Ten feet away. Ten small feet away. I could be to them in 1.8 seconds. Maybe 1.6. I should test that, see how fast I am when hunting. It'd be a scientific experiment. Carlisle would approve of that, surely, he's always wanting to know how things work. I could figure it out for him. How fast can a hundred pound newborn get to her prey, kill and drain them? Twenty seconds I bet. Twenty glorious seconds. _

_Oh, there they go, out to the truck. See, they could have an accident there; maybe that sliding door falls down and slices both their necks open. It could happen. It would be a sad and tragic occurrence. I bet their families would get some kind of life insurance though. They'd be taken care of._

_But then some kid would be without their daddy; just like I am going to be without mine in a couple weeks. I love Carlisle but he's not my dad. Charlie needs me and I need him. I'm going to break his heart and now I want to break the hearts of some poor family before Thanksgiving. Very nice of you, Bella, why not just go to the Volturi and let Aro turn you into his next little toy like Jane? I could take part in that macabre feeding like they had when we were there before. I had nightmares about that for months. Now here I am, wanting to be a part of it. I'm sick and twisted._

_Look, there they are with Alice's silly daybed. What does she need that thing for anyway? It's not like she sits still for more than three minutes at any given time. We don't sleep. I miss sleep. I miss dreaming. Of course I dreamt about Edward and he's sitting right next to me and I can have him anytime I want to and I really want him now. So why do I need to dream? Sleep felt good though. I'm never at rest anymore. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes and shut out the world for awhile, but I can't because I hear everything._

_Like those heavy footsteps making their way upstairs. Thump, thump, thump, thump; two heartbeats beating opposite tunes, each one calling to me. Bella, Bella, Bella, Bella. It would be so easy. Yank myself away from Edward and Jasper, plow over Emmett, be up the stairs, shove Alice out of the way and drink to my heart's content. I want it._

_No, I don't want it. Bella, YOU DO NOT WANT TO KILL THOSE MEN. You need to stop thinking about it. Go back to thinking about Edward. Edward's lips tracing over your body, Edward's tongue flicking your bellybutton ring, Edward's hands moving up your thighs, heat flooding through you as they finally reach the spot where…_

"Thanks so much! Take care!" I was wrenched out of whatever that mental diatribe I'd been on by the sound of Alice's happy voice and the slamming of the door. Suddenly everyone was before me wearing huge smiles. Edward was hugging me and Emmett was doing some strange dance that looked like a cross between a do-si-do and the Macarena. Jasper looked completely satisfied and Alice clapped her hands as if she'd just won the grand prize on a game show. Esme glowed with pride.

"I told you that you could do it! You didn't even try to get away from the boys!" Alice started dancing with Emmett; shaking her little body in some perfect rhythm to God knew what song.

Jasper squeezed my hand. "You ran the gamut of emotions there but running through it all was that determination that I told you about. It was there when you were nearly insane with hunger, it was there when you were upset with yourself and it was there when you were lusting, I assume over Edward." Emmett let out a loud guffaw at that revelation and I buried my face in Edward's chest, his laughter shaking through me and igniting that fire again.

"How did you do it, love?"

I shook my head. "I have no idea. I just sat there and thought about tons of things. Eating the men, you, my family, our family, what would happen if I slipped, joining the Volturi…" he frowned at that. "Anytime I started thinking too heavily about eating the men, another thought would intrude, I guess. I'd think of their families or what you would think of me if I slipped and somehow I managed not to go after them."

Jasper nodded, satisfied with my explanation and my resistance. "I knew you could do it."

"We all did!" Alice crowed happily, throwing her arms around me again.

"I don't know how I did it but I guess I did. After awhile, though I was aware of them, I kept getting lost in my thoughts."

"Whatever works for you, little sis! Soon we'll be able to go back out in the world and you can help us play tricks on humans! It would help if you would get a power though." I chuckled, remembering my hypnosis idea but decided not to mention it.

"I'll work on it, Em, just for you."

He grinned and ran upstairs, telling Rose all about my victory over bloodlust. She didn't sound overly interested but I didn't care. What I cared about was the man next to me, looking at me with joy and wonder.

"You are incredible, love." I wrapped my arms around him and breathed, enjoying his scent even more than that of the humans.

"You make me feel that way." His lips met mine and all felt right in my world again. My first major test and I had passed. I was ready for whatever came next.


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N So sorry for the delay in this chapter! FF was not letting me upload yesterday for some reason. Without further ado, here's the chapter, more A/N below. If you want to see the cabin in Maine, a link will be on my profile.**

Chapter 31 again

EPOV

The week following Bella's incredible showing of self-restraint with the humans was a busy one for both of us. Every moment that she wasn't with me was spent with Jasper, who was ramping up her training. He took her into the same clearing where Emmett had conducted his doll experiment and surrounded her with hundreds of human scents. He'd gone into one of the Dartmouth dorms and taken something from every resident. Bella had told me her theory about half-naked townspeople running around in confusion and I decided that she was probably pretty close to the mark. Still, Jasper's dedication to training her was one of the main reasons that she'd come so far and I wasn't going to question his methods.

The other reason was Bella herself. She was a constant amazement, so far advanced for a vampire that if I hadn't been the one to turn her I would certainly bet that she was several years old instead of mere months. Everyone in the family was dying to know what her gift would be, myself included. Carlisle had gone so far as to reach out to Eleazar in Alaska for an opinion. He thought she could be some sort of shield, which would explain my inability to hear her mind but that didn't sound right to me. Alice was finally starting to get flashes of something, though she wasn't sure what she was seeing. She shared the visions with me but all we could see was a look of fierce concentration on my wife's stunning face. What she was doing wasn't clear yet.

I shook my head and decided to focus on the task at hand. My fingers flew over the computer keys as I went through various sites looking for the perfect boat for our trip to Maine. It had to have a cabin and be used but in good enough condition that it would be believable as something we would conceivably buy. It had to be something that "humans" would be comfortable in on the Atlantic Ocean in December. I wish Bella would let me go ahead with the plane idea but she wasn't too keen on us jumping out of an airplane, despite her indestructibility. A boat was actually a better plan anyway; there would be valid reasons for no bodies to be found.

There was nothing like preparing to die again to put life into perspective. I wasn't remotely worried about the logistics of the situation; I knew my family would take care of everything that needed to be done. No, my concern rested only with Bella. I had no idea how she was going to handle the aftermath of her death and how it would affect her family. Try as she might, Alice couldn't see anything about the effect on Charlie other than his immediate shock and his subsequent trip to Maine to try to assist in finding us. Just the thought of that filled me with guilt and I knew it would be far worse for Bella. We hadn't told her that yet but I knew I'd have to before we left. She had to be prepared for her father's presence. I knew she would refuse to leave without seeing him just once and Alice foresaw no issues with her self control, but I didn't know if the emotional toll would be worth it. It would rip her to shreds.

I found what I was looking for on a Maine Boats website. The boat was new instead of used but even new boats could have a ruptured fuel line. I dialed the number and arranged for us to see the boat tomorrow. Em was letting us take the Jeep so that we could purchase it then and there and take it with us. He'd meet us at the cabin the next day, bringing a smaller boat to pick us up when the boat exploded. The rest of the family would stay put until they received a call about our boat going down in the Atlantic. Emmett would make an anonymous call about seeing an explosion and give coordinates on our approximate location.

I sighed as I pushed away from the computer, my eyes falling on one of our many wedding photos hanging on the wall. The picture of Bella and Charlie was one of my favorites. He looked so awkward in his tuxedo but his eyes burned with emotion as he looked down at Bella who was glowing with happiness. Their eyes were exactly the same shade of brown. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat and turned to face Bella as she walked into the room.

"Hello, love, how was your training?"

A smile flirted at the corner of her lips. "It went really well."

"What did Jasper have in store for you today?"

Her face lit with pride and excitement. Somehow I suspected that Jasper had deviated from his clothes stealing today. "We went to the neighbor's house."

What? "What?"

"Jasper took me to the neighbors, you know, the Baker's? About five miles to the south."

"Sure I know where they are but he actually took you, alone?"

She rolled her eyes. "He ran it by Alice and there weren't any issues to be found, so yes, we went. We weren't alone anyway; Emmett followed us because he just had to see if I would fail since you weren't there."

I snorted. "Of course you wouldn't fail."

She threw her arms around me and kissed me passionately. "I love your faith in me."

"I didn't have faith in much of anything until you came into my life. The one thing I will never doubt is you."

She kissed me again, softly this time. "I love you."

"I do." I do was our new way of expressing our love. I said it to her every morning and it never failed to make her happy and loved. As usual, she lit up at my words.

"I do, too."

"So tell me about the Baker's."

She looked almost smug now. "When we were about three miles out I could hear Mr. Baker's heartbeat. It felt like it was calling my name, you know?" I nodded, for I knew all too well how the cadence of the heart could almost feel like a siren's call. "Anyway, I stopped and Jasper stopped with me. I breathed then and caught the scent. It was appealing but it didn't pull me the way it used to. I just told myself over and over that I didn't want to hurt anybody and soon it was just a pleasant aroma, not something I had to have. So we went another mile closer, the scent was more potent but didn't have any more of an effect on me so we walked all the way to the tree line. He was about twenty yards away at that point. I held my breath again and then breathed and let his scent wash over me. I was slightly tempted then," shame flashed in those orange honey eyes, "but I just locked my body into place and held onto Jasper's arm. The desire passed after about a minute and I breathed again."

I cupped her face in my hands. "Don't feel bad about being tempted, Bella. You'll be tempted all your life; it's not going to go away. You didn't act on it and you should be extremely proud. I wish I'd been there." I was somewhat annoyed that Jasper hadn't asked me along, I wanted to witness moments where she showed her incredible strength of will.

Bella lifted her hands and ran them up and down my arms. "No, he was right to do it this way." I frowned. "The only other time I was around humans your touch kept me grounded. It was important to see if I could do it on my own without our electricity to help me." I knew she was right, I just hated missing any moment with her. I curled a hand into her hair and rubbed the back of her neck. "You'll get to be alone with me with a human soon enough."

I pulled away and glanced at the computer. "Yes, about that, I found a boat. We're going to see it tomorrow." She looked apprehensive and I took her hand in mine. "If you're not ready, I can go see it alone. You can stay in the Jeep." She shook her head and resolve shone in her eyes.

"I can do it."

"Yes, you can."

She pulled me over to the couch and we both plopped down on it. "I'm not so worried about the humans." I knew she wasn't. "I'm worried about my father. My mom will be okay but Charlie…"

"Bella, you know we don't have to do this. We can just tell your dad that we're going on a world tour for a year, give you some more time, maybe we can figure out a way…"

She cut off my rambling. "No, Edward, it would just be delaying the inevitable. Charlie can't know what I am and I'm not going to age. Even if I could take another year or two, I'd still eventually have to die. Plus, I look too different now."

"I've been thinking about that and we could go through with the boat exploding but we could survive. You could have to undergo plastic surgery and this is the result." I would do it, for her. Carlisle could arrange to have her hospitalized and bandaged up so Charlie could see her without seeing the new her.

Bella looked tempted for a moment but she shook her head. "That doesn't explain my never aging, Edward. As much as I hate it, and I truly do, this is the best way."

I squeezed her hand and took a breath. Now was the time to tell her. "Alice has seen something, love."

Fear stole across her lovely features. "What? Is Charlie going to be okay?" Her hand was crushing mine now, her control of her strength lost in her panic over her father.

How to answer that, exactly? I didn't know that he would be okay, just that he would be there trying to help in the search for us. "As far as I know, he will." Her grip loosened and I flexed my fingers. She stared at me, waiting for me to continue, apprehension coloring her features. I tightened my own grip on her hand and let it out. "Bella, he's going to come to Maine to look for you."

Her jaw dropped open and she shook her head. "What? No, no he can't do that! He can't be there! He can't watch them dive and come back with nothing. Edward!" She was shrieking and gripping my shirt, shaking me.

"Bella, calm down." She heaved several deep breaths and released my shirt. I pulled her to me and she buried her face in my neck. I stroked her hair and waited for her to calm a little. She pulled back and looked at me, the light that had been in her eyes moments ago gone. I hated seeing her look like that. "Sweetheart, of course he's going to want to come. Charlie is a thorough man, he'd never entrust something as vital as a search for his daughter to someone else. He'd have to be there."

She closed her eyes and let my words wash over her. "Yes, he would want to be involved. I just…Edward, how can I let him come all this way for nothing?"

I sighed, not knowing how to respond to that question. "I think, maybe, it'll be good for him to be a part of it, Bella. He'll feel like he did something tangible. If I was in his shoes, I would be there too. Wouldn't you?"

Her eyes flashed open. "Yes, but I know that it's pointless for him to be there. They won't find us because there's no us for them to find. How can I let him stand there and hope only to find nothing?"

I caressed her face again, hoping my touch would soothe her but knowing this might be the one time that I couldn't. "There's nothing you can do, unless you want to call it off. We can put it off for another year or two, Bella. There's no rush."

She sighed and pulled away from me. "No, nothing changes just because he's there. This is for the best, I just wish there was some way to stop him from coming. Maybe Billy or Jake…"

"Do you really want to call them and ask for their help in planning your death, Bella?" She shook her head vehemently. "For what it's worth, I imagine they will do whatever they can to keep him from coming to find you. As soon as they hear, they'll know what we've done. Charlie's a stubborn guy, Bella, reminds me of a certain woman I know very well." A smile ghosted over her face at that and I took her hand again and kissed her palm. "He has to come, there's nothing we can do about it."

She nodded, her face looking worn and sad. "I know; I just wish he wouldn't."

Maybe his presence wouldn't be a bad thing. "Bella, you know if he comes, you can see him." Her eyes widened and some life came back into her face.

"Really? I could see Charlie?"

"Yes, well obviously we'd have to stay out of sight but there's no reason why we couldn't be nearby. As long as you think you can handle it." This would be harder on her than dealing with human scents but I knew my Bella would want to try.

"I can handle it!" The smile was back on her face for a moment before falling away. "What if I want to eat him? My own father?"

"Bella, you won't want to eat him, that's not what I meant by handling it."

"What then?"

"I mean can you handle being so close but not being able to go to him? Especially seeing him upset and worried about you?"

She looked down at her lap, her fingers plucking at some lint on her sweater. "I think maybe I have to."

I put my hand under her chin and pulled her head up to face me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I think it would be good for me to see what he's going through." How could that possibly be a good thing? She saw the question on my face and answered me. "Rather than imagining it, I'll know. It's not ideal, of course, but I think it's worse than not knowing. Do you know what I mean?" Actually I did; I'd gone through not knowing how she was doing when I foolishly left her after her ill-fated eighteenth birthday. That torment had eaten at me every second of the day. Knowing how she suffered wouldn't have made things much easier but at least my imagination wouldn't have run away with me.

"I do understand. More than you could possibly know." Her eyes met mine then and I know she knew what I was talking about, for she smiled softly and ran a hand along my jaw.

"Thank you for warning me, I don't think I could have dealt with it without warning."

"Of course, love, I promised not to keep anything from you again, even for your own protection."

"I love you." I closed my eyes and absorbed the words. I would never tire of them, no matter how many times she said it.

"As I love you."

"Despite what I'm about to do to Charlie, I want you to know I wouldn't change a thing. I had to do this for us."

"I hope I'm truly worth it."

She smiled fully then, for the first time since I'd told her about her father. "You are." I kissed her softly and brushed her hair back from her face.

"I think we'd better hunt before we head east tomorrow." She nodded and rose from the couch, taking my hand.

"That sounds like a good idea. Then I'd like you to bring me home and make love to me all night long." She wanted to forget for the night, for me to take away thoughts of what we were about to do.

"That sounds like an even better one. Let's get the hunting over with quickly then, shall we?" She laughed lightly and I gave her favorite smile in return. "Let's go." We headed off to the forest, running full speed towards our future.

**BPOV**

The car ride to Portland, Maine was fairly quiet, with me lost in my own thoughts and Edward letting me stew in silence. When he told me my father was going to come all the way to Maine to help look for me I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach. I don't know why I was so surprised; I know Charlie and he was hardly going to sit aside while his daughter was missing at sea. Of course he would come. He'd likely harass the search team and try to take command of the investigation himself. The guilt at the unnecessary search was nothing compared to the guilt I felt for what it was going to do to him.

At the same time I was inexplicably happy that I was going to get to see him again, for whatever fleeting moment I had. I knew he'd be burned into my memory forever then. It was ridiculous, being happy that I was going to see my father in the worst pain of his life but having that image to go back to would make it impossible to forget him. I didn't want Charlie to just be a picture in a book, words on a page or a voice on the phone. I wanted to see him and I longed to hug him one more time. I knew that was impossible, of course, it was one thing to be near humans but entirely another to actually touch one, especially when I was overcome with emotion. Maybe someday, somehow I'd have the chance to touch him again. For now, seeing him one more time was all I had and I'd hold on to it, despite the grief it would give me.

Edward pulled up outside of Maineline Boats and cut the engine of Emmett's Jeep. We'd made it to Portland in just a couple hours, not surprising since Edward was driving. However, now that I was no longer human his lead foot didn't bother me at all, probably because I could now run as fast as he drove. God I loved the speed.

"Are you ready to go in, love?"

I took a deep breath and shot him a smile that belied my nerves. "Yes."

He was out of the car and over to my side to help me out before I made a move toward the handle. I smiled to myself, he was still so sweetly old-fashioned about some things and I hoped he never changed. He took my hand and threaded our fingers together giving me a gentle but reassuring squeeze. I squeezed back and walked with him to the entrance, taking another deep breath and holding it just in case. "This won't take long," Edward promised.

We entered the building and I looked around with interest, it was like a huge warehouse full of boats, right on the marina. I took a tentative sniff and was rewarded with the scent of teak and mahogany and oak and cedar and resin; a huge mix of woodsy smells that was pleasant and reminded me of the forest. I took a deeper breath and then caught the scent of the human. Venom pooled in my mouth but I swallowed it back. _You do not want that tantalizing smell, Bella. It's a person with a family. Do not take away their loved one. _The thought of a spouse and children learning that their father or mother had died had a calming effect on me every time so I used it.

Edward watched me closely as we headed toward the back, where a man was talking on the phone. He was in his forties, portly and slightly balding. When he saw us approaching he told the person on the other end that he'd call them back and hung up, lurching to his feet. "Why hello, I'm Artie, what can I do for you today?"

Edward kept a firm grip on my hand an answered for both of us. "We'd like to look at the Cabin Cruiser XT; I believe you have one available?"

His gray eyes went over us appraisingly. "Yes, we do have one but I'm afraid that's a very expensive boat, running at about $85,000. Are you sure I couldn't show you something more affordable? A sailboat perhaps? We have some lovely ones." Of course he thought we couldn't afford it, we were a couple of teenagers.

Edward chuckled. "I don't think my wife would enjoy being out in the water on a sailboat this time of year, do you?" His eyes flew to my ring and he smiled as he saw the sparkling diamonds.

"I'd need to do a credit check before you purchase it."

Edward remained unruffled. "Certainly, but I need to see the boat before I can decide if I'm going to purchase it, don't I?"

"Of course, sir, right this way." He led us toward the end of the marina, where some of the higher end models appeared to be, stopping next to a sleek speedboat with a large cabin. "Here it is, the XT is 45 feet, full cabin, queen sized bed," he smirked at Edward and ran his eyes over me again. I felt him tense beside me and I pressed against him, letting him feel our electricity flow between us. He gave me a grateful squeeze.

Edward and I hopped on the boat, going into the cabin while Artie expounded on all the bells and whistles this model featured. It was kind of a huge waste of money to drop nearly a hundred thousand dollars on a boat we were going to destroy but Edward insisted that it wouldn't be believable for him to buy anything less than the best. I suppose I should be glad he wasn't buying a yacht. When I mentioned that he told me that we owned several already but he didn't want to destroy one of those. I, naturally, just rolled my eyes. It figured.

Edward made a big show of asking all sorts of questions about speed and performance and such while Artie looked suitably impressed at how well informed he was. Of course he was; he and our brothers could probably build a boat better than this one if they wanted to. Having gotten all the answers he wanted, Edward turned to me. "What do you think, love?"

I smiled and took a small breath and pretended to be excited about our new purchase. "I love it, honey! Do you think we could get it today?" Artie's scent burned through me but I had become accustomed to it already; I quickly swallowed my venom and smiled.

Artie interjected, "Well now, little lady, I still have to do a credit check. These things can take time. Why don't ya'll come back to the desk and I'll get a start on that. We'll see if we can get you out of here today. Do you have a trailer?"

"No, we'd need one of those; we do have a Jeep so it'd be easy enough to hook up." Artie saw dollar signs and practically ran back to the desk. Edward handed him his black AMEX and Artie started the background check. I nearly laughed at the gasp that he took when his computer gave him the information he was looking for. Clearly we'd been approved. Edward smirked at me.

"Well, everything seems to be in order here! Is there anything else you'd like to see today? Perhaps the lady would like an even bigger boat? We do special order yachts here, I'm sure we have something…"

Edward cut him off. "I think that's enough for today but if we like the boat, perhaps we'll be back for another. I'd love to get my wife her own yacht someday." I sighed, knowing that though he was humoring Artie he meant every word of it. What would I do with a yacht?

Artie completed our transaction, his face aglow with glee. I thought he might start dancing the moment we left the building. "Would you like to pull up to the loading dock? We've got trailers out there and I can pull the boat around?"

"Sure." Edward and I went back to the Jeep. Edward kissed me as he opened the car door for me. "You continue to amaze me, love."

I smiled. "It only bothered me for a minute, when we first went in. After I thought of him as a family man, the urge to take a bite went away."

He stroked my cheek. "Mind over matter?"

"I guess so."

Edward pulled the Jeep around and hopped out to attach the trailer. In no time at all, Artie brought the boat around and he and Edward secured it to the jeep. I remained in the car, figuring they had it under control and two vampires might be a bit too much for the job. After a hearty handshake, we were off and both of us laughed as we heard Artie indeed dancing around in celebration in the warehouse. It'd be a nice Christmas for him it seemed.

"How far are we from the cabin?" We apparently had a house on Great Duck Island, which was somewhere out in the ocean. Normally I would have looked forward to seeing it but I wasn't exactly feeling celebratory today.

"175 miles to Northeast Harbor, so it'll take me an hour and a half to get there. We'll park the Jeep and then take the boat to the island." He flashed his smile at me and put his foot to the floor, the Rosalie enhanced Jeep responding instantly. I shook my head and laughed at his typical driving style and settled back to watch the scenery flash by.

**EPOV**

Bella had been abnormally quiet the whole trip up but I understood that she needed time alone with her thoughts. Short of dying, this was the hardest thing that she'd have to do as a vampire. I couldn't begin to imagine how I would feel if my parents had still been alive when I'd been turned. Of course, I never would have done so unless Bella was already with me. Two years ago I never would have felt that way but now that she was in my life, I'd started to see the benefits of being a vampire. I still had moments of self-loathing but one look at Bella and I shoved them aside.

I longed for the words to comfort Bella but nothing came to me. What do you tell someone to make it better that they won't ever see their parents again? I'd tried to make her see that maybe she was giving up too much for me but she was adamant about her choice and since I'd make the same one, how could I fault her? So I said nothing, just offered her quiet support through my touch, holding her hand while I navigated the highway.

We arrived at Northeast Harbor in the hour and a half that I'd promised. I pulled up to the marina, released the boat at the launch and parked the Jeep, leaving it in the parking lot where Emmett would pick it up later. I stopped and said a few words to the guard, letting him know that my wife and I had gotten a new boat and we'd be sailing for a few days. Best to get the story started. He wished us well and watched as I helped Bella aboard the craft. I shook my head as I processed the name of the boat for the first time. "Second Chances." Pretty apt I'd say.

We flew across the waves, the powerful engine vibrating through my hands on the wheel. Bella tilted her face back into the wind, her hair flowing behind her. She looked absolutely stunning, a goddess returning to her home after conquering the earth. I yearned to touch her but I knew that now was not the right time. I deftly maneuvered the craft over the waves, the mist from the water tickling my face. I always felt truly alive at sea; it was ironic that my "death" was going to be in one of the places that I enjoyed above any other.

"We're almost there, Bella. You should see the cabin any second now." It wasn't really a cabin. We called it that because it was the smallest of our homes at only 1440 square feet but it was one of my favorite spots in the world. Our house was the only one on the island; the rest was a nature preserve which of course we took advantage of. We could only hunt sporadically so we never stayed long but it was a lovely escape from the real world. I truly felt like the only person in the world there.

Bella turned to look in the direction I'd gestured and sure enough the house came into view a moment later. She gasped as she took in the beauty of the island, the two story house above the shoreline, huge windows facing the ocean. "That's hardly a cabin, Edward." I chuckled having predicted that would be her reaction.

"Well it may not look like one from the outside but the inside is completely open, there are no bedrooms, just some alcoves with beds and fold out couches. It's as cabin as the Cullen's get, what with Alice in the family." It was hilarious, really, Alice would hike in the hills and hunt and camp out for days but if she had to be someplace with walls, it darn well better be luxurious. And this house was that, with the large bay windows, the open airy space, white marble floors and the view of the water. We all loved it here. I knew Bella would as well, under other circumstances.

I pulled up to the dock and tethered the boat, offering a hand to Bella as we both hopped to the shore. We ran up to the cabin and I ushered her inside. She gasped as she took in the open space, gleaming white tile floors and white wicker furniture. It was beautiful but homey. You could see water everywhere you looked.

"Oh, Edward, it's incredible! Look at the view!" She ran to the windows and looked back from whence we came; water and mountains were the only things to see for miles.

"Wait until you see sunset, love, there's nothing like it." A smile spread across her face and I was thrilled that this place could bring her even a moment's happiness with what was coming tomorrow. "Let me show you the second floor." She followed me up the stairs, taking in the open sleeping space, sighing over the queen bed next to the three large windows.

"I'd love to lay here and watch the water and the sky all day long." Her voice was wistful.

"You can, someday. We'll come back and truly enjoy it, okay?"

The sadness was back in her eyes but she nodded. She turned to face the window again and I crept behind her and placed a kiss to the nape of her neck. "I love you." She brought her right hand up and stroked my cheek.

"I love you too."

"I'm going to let you enjoy the view, love. I'll go down and play the piano for awhile." She nodded and released me. I hated leaving her but I knew it was what she needed at the moment. I made my way to my piano and checked the tuning, playing the scales. All this time and still perfectly tuned. I smiled and launched into some ragtime, wanting some happy tunes to try to drive away some of Bella's sadness. I played as night fell, the sunset spectacular as always. I hoped she was enjoying it. I transitioned into some Mozart and finally ended with her lullaby.

I heard movement behind me as she came down the stairs quietly, her nearness sending a spark of awareness through my body. Her hands came down on my shoulders and she kissed the top of my head. "Thank you."

I wasn't entirely sure what she was thanking me for, though I assumed it was for playing her song. Knowing she was upset was bringing back some of the old feelings of hatred; a part of me wanted to ask her if she was thanking me for taking away her life and her family but I bit that back. It would only hurt her and it wasn't what she meant anyway. Still, I only wanted to give her things, not take them away.

"Edward, would you do something for me?" Anything, everything.

"Of course."

"Make love to me." My head whipped around at her words, completely surprised and immediately aroused by her words.

"What?"

"I need you, now."

"Bella, I don't think…"

"Edward, all I've been doing is thinking and feeling terrible. I want to feel good, if only for a little while. I want to feel alive." I understood that, I never felt more alive, more human, than when I was inside her. I stood up from the piano bench and tried to sweep her into my arms but she stopped me.

"No. Not sweet, not gentle. I need you to make me forget. I need you to take me." I got impossibly harder at her words and sought to give her what she needed.

"Like this then?" I pushed her into the wall and watched her eyes go coal black. I growled at the desire in her obsidian orbs. I raised a hand and ripped her sweater and jeans from her body in one smooth motion. She was completely bare beneath and I suppressed a groan at the sight of her. I would never get tired of Bella's gorgeous body.

"Yes, like this," she hissed and ripped my shirt down the middle, her lips meeting mine passionately, fire burning through my body at her touch. I ripped my own jeans off and pressed into her wetness. She was so ready for me. I lifted her off the ground and she wrapped her legs around me and pulled me into her with a flex of her heels. I dragged my teeth over her shoulder, my mouth unerringly finding the spot where I'd made her mine forever. I bit down and she hissed again as I began to thrust within her. She tilted her head and I dragged my teeth up her throat, nipping her everywhere.

"Harder." I increased my pace, seeking to bring her whatever escape she needed. She moaned against me and dragged my lips to hers, passion meeting passion, our bodies crashing together in perfect rhythm, force to force. She arched away from the wall, her hips bowed out toward me giving me deeper access into her body. I thrust harder, anticipating the need before she vocalized it and she purred in appreciation, the vibrations rocketing through me and bringing me to the brink. I brought my hand to her bundle of nerves and flicked it with my middle finger. Bella went off then, bucking against me wildly as she lost herself in her orgasm. I followed immediately after her, emptying into her body as her tight walls clamped against me.

I pulled her close to me and held her then, her head resting on my shoulder as I carried her back up to the queen bed. I lay both of us down and wrapped her in my arms, staring out into the unending night, no words needed but some contentment reached. Her fingers intertwined with mine and I pressed my lips to her neck, our bodies perfectly aligned. "Thank you," she whispered again.

"I do, Bella."

Her fingers squeezed mine. "I do, too."

**BPOV**

Edward held me all night long, his touch did more for me than he could possibly know but I was unable to tell him with words, so I showed him with a light caresses on his forearms. We watched the sun come up together and I felt the tension returning to my body. This was the day that I would die. Edward noticed my sudden rigidity and stroked my hair soothingly for a long time.

"Bella, love, why don't you call him?"

It was about five in the morning in Washington but I knew he'd be up, ready to head out fishing with Billy. I wanted to call him so badly that it hurt but could I handle saying goodbye without him knowing what I was doing? Edward's lips pressed just underneath my ear. "I think it'll help you."

I nodded and sat up, picking up my cell phone from the nightstand. Edward stood to give me some privacy but I grabbed his hand. "Don't leave." I needed him there in case I lost it and said something that would clue Charlie in that everything was not alright.

I dialed the familiar number for the last time and closed my eyes against the surge of pain that went through me at that thought. Everything was for the last time with my parents now. The phone rang two times before it was answered with a gruff, "Hello," that brought a smile to my face. I could hear the annoyance in my father's tone; he was anxious to be on the road and someone was interrupting that. He probably was afraid that it was work and he would have to give up his trip.

"Hi Dad."

"Bells! What are you doing calling me so early? I thought college kids slept until noon." I laughed at the inaccuracy of that particular statement when applied to me.

"I've never been a late sleeper, you know that." Edward sat back on the bed and pulled me between his legs, wrapping both arms around me. I sank into him.

"That's true. Glad you haven't changed that much since you got married and went away, kid." I bit back a sigh. If he only knew just how much I had changed.

"Nope, still me." Edward squeezed my waist; I remembered him telling me I would still be me after my change and he was right, personality-wise anyway. Still, Charlie would be more than a little surprised at the physical differences.

"So what are you up to, Bells? Got homework to do?"

I jerked out of my ruminations and answered him truthfully. "No, no homework. Actually Edward and I are in Maine for the weekend."

"Maine? What are you two doing in Maine?"

"The Cullens have a cabin here and we decided to get away for a few days for a little private time." Charlie cleared his throat at the mention of private time and I had to suppress a giggle. Talking to him made me feel good, despite the guilt that was still weighing heavily inside me. Edward had been right, as usual. I'd have this conversation to hold on to, as would Charlie.

"Where don't they have a house?" he muttered and I didn't suppress the laugh then because I'd had the same question myself.

"Hmm that's a good question. I don't think they have one in Antarctica but I haven't thought to ask." Charlie choked out a laugh at my comment and I felt one rumble through Edward as well.

"Well at least you have someplace to stay wherever you decide to visit, Bells."

"Good point, Dad."

"So what are you two going to do there?"

I bit my lip and told him, laying groundwork for the lie and my "death". "We actually got a new boat so we're going to take it out for a couple of days."

"You, on a boat for a couple of days during winter? Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

I laughed hollowly, his words going straight to my heart. "I'll always be the same Bella, Dad, no matter what." I paused, the words not wanting to come. Edward reached up to take the phone but I shook him off. "This boat has a cabin so I can relax inside while Edward freezes above."

Charlie laughed. "That sounds more like you. At least he's getting you out on the water though; it's been years since I could do that."

I wished I could go back and spend more time with him. Watching Charlie fish had bored me as a child but now I would treasure every moment. His next words speared at my heart. "Well maybe when you come at Christmas we could go out?"

"Sure, Dad, I'd like that." I choked the words out, my emotions overwhelming me.

"What's the matter, Bella? Are you and Edward having problems?" I wiped fruitlessly at my face, seeking to push away the tears that weren't even there and shook my head. Then I realized he couldn't see me.

"No, we're great. I just miss you is all." That was another truth I could give him. I would always miss him.

"I miss you; too, Bells, but I'll see you soon. In three weeks, right?"

No, Dad, you'll never see me again. But I'll see you, soon. I just have to hold on to that. "That's right."

"Listen, kid, you have a good time up there in Maine. I have to go pick up Billy and hit the lake. I'll talk to you soon, okay?" No it wasn't okay and it never would be again.

"Sure. I love you, Dad."

"Love you too, Bells. Bye." He hung up and I sat and listened to the dial tone for several moments before Edward took the phone from me and folded me in his embrace. I buried my head in his neck and sought comfort in his stone arms, the peace I usually felt when he touched me was there but it wasn't as all-encompassing as it usually was. The rumble of a motor nearby had me jerking up in surprise.

"That's Emmett. It's almost time to go. Are you okay?" His eyes penetrated mine, as if he were trying to see into my very soul.

"I'm fine. I need to call my mom first." I would be fine, I just had to get through this and the life I wanted, the life I had chosen, was ahead of me.

"I'll go down and meet him." I watched as his graceful form flew down the stairs, his beauty still stunning to me after all this time.

Sighing, I dialed my mother and listened to the phone ring four times before her voicemail clicked on. I felt a pang of sadness that I wouldn't get to speak to her but there was relief mixed in too. Renee was entirely too perceptive and she'd know something was wrong with me.

I heard the beep indicating it was time to speak. "Hi Mom, it's me. I just wanted to say hello and tell you that I missed you. Edward and I are in Maine for the weekend and we're about to head out on a boat ride. I love you and I'll talk to you later." I disconnected and looked out at the water for a few minutes until Edward came back upstairs. I nodded and got up from the bed, leaving my phone behind on the nightstand as if I would be coming back to retrieve it. Everything had to look like this was just an accident.

I walked down the stairs and directly into the waiting arms of Emmett. He didn't swoop me up and swing me around like he usually did, he just held me. My panda bear. I burrowed into his mountain of a chest and he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, squeezing me tightly. "Are you okay, Little Sis?" His voice was muted, lacking its usual exuberance. I just nodded, not feeling like talking about it anymore. I just wanted it done.

Emmett pulled back and studied me for a moment, I guess looking to see if I was sure. I tried to keep a serene and confident look on my face. I'm not sure if I managed that well enough or not but Emmett just smiled sadly and said, "Let's go." Edward laced his fingers to mine and we went to the dock, where our boat was moored next to a smaller speed boat.

"It's a shame we can't blow this one up instead," Emmett muttered, kicking the boat he'd ridden in with disgust. "Yours is much cooler. Look at that! Does it have the autopilot option?" Edward laughed and cuffed him upside the head since Rose wasn't here to do it.

I shook my head and hopped aboard our boat, going to sit on one of the plush benches. Edward and Emmett spoke about locations but I tuned them out, just wanting to get it over with. Edward untied the boat, climbed aboard and started the engine. Emmett sped off before us and Edward followed behind. He held out a hand to me and I got up and took it, joining him at the controls.

"There's still time to call this off if you want, Bella." Time, it was a luxury that I both did and did not have. I had all the time in the world with Edward but that was not the case when it came to my parents. Sure, I could take another year or two and make up excuses as to why I couldn't see them but ultimately that would hurt them more than having me ripped from their lives. It always would have to end this way, be it now or later. It was best to do it now, when they knew I was healthy and happy and that I still loved them with all my heart.

"No, Edward. I made my choice months ago. I can't drag this out; it's not good for them or for me." He kissed my temple but the worry didn't leave his face. I reached up to stroke his jaw and pulled him close for a quick kiss. "This is the hardest thing I will ever do but I don't regret it. This is what I wanted. The reality is tough to deal with but I knew that I would have to sacrifice my family going in."

"Are you sure it's worth it?" He still doubted himself, I hated that. I shoved my feelings aside for the moment and focused on his. I knew he probably felt as much guilt as I did right now. I would deal with the rest of my feelings later, he needed me now.

"I'm sure you're worth it. This," I gestured between him and me, "is worth it. It's everything."

He cupped my cheek. "You're my everything." His words warmed me. It was worth it. It had to be.

Edward slowed the boat as we approached the spot where Emmett was waiting. There was a small island over to our right and a large strip of land to the left, but there were no houses or people anywhere to be found. "This is the spot, right?" Edward asked Emmett. He steered the boat alongside him and Emmett reached out to grab me, transferring me from our boat to his.

"Yes, this is where the current is the strongest. Alice said they'll find some pieces of the boat but not much of it, assuming it's all swept far out to sea. They won't question why they can't find your bodies." I flinched and gritted my teeth. Emmett saw my distress and pulled me into another hug. I knew, of course, that there were no bodies to find but knowing that Charlie would be here, hoping to find me broke my heart. Edward hopped on board and pulled me into his arms.

"We don't have to do this, Bella."

"Yes, we do. Please, let's just get it done." He looked like he wanted to argue but after studying my face for a moment he got back on our ship and started messing around with the engine. He got back on Emmett's boat.

"All set?"

"Yes, the fuel line is punctured. Get ready to floor it." Emmett pulled ten feet away from our boat and Edward lit a match, flicking it toward the engine as Emmett started speeding away. I watched as the match landed where Edward had thrown it. A loud boom split the air and the boat ignited. It was a ball of fire within seconds. A second loud boom sounded and the boat exploded, pieces flying in all directions. Thankfully by that time we were over a mile away and nothing struck our boat.

Emmett stopped and we watched as what was left of the boat sank beneath the ocean. He placed a call from a disposable cell phone, claiming to have seen the explosion from the smaller island; I guess there were some houses there after all. He gave approximate coordinates and threw the phone into the water, speeding toward the larger strip of land. He pulled up near a big dune and anchored. "You guys will be alright?" Edward told him we'd be fine. "I have to get home to wait for the call with the rest of the family. I'll see you in a day or two, okay?" I nodded numbly and Emmett hugged me again. Edward and I climbed into the water and walked to shore and waved as Emmett sped away.

Edward took my hand and led me toward the forest but I tugged him to a stop and looked back at the spot in the water where our boat had gone down. Isabella Swan Cullen, the human, was officially dead. I said a silent goodbye to her and then turned and walked into the trees with my husband at my side.

* * *

**A/N Most chapters will now flip between Edward & Bella's point of view. A lot of important things are happening and I think it's good to get into both of their heads.**

**I've made the prelims of the Indie awards. Thanks to AGO, dazzled, rameau and everyone else who nominated me. **

**I finally updated Taste of Innocence and intend to update it again in a week or so. For those of you not familiar with it, Taste was my entry into the Darkward competition. It's a very different fic from this one but a lot of fun to write. Check it out if you like a smug vampy Edward.**

**Thanks for your patience on the posting of this chapter. Sometimes I think FF hates me.**


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N I've been told I should come back and add a Kleenex warning to this chapter. There might be tears ahead.**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 32

BPOV

Two days is a long time when you're waiting for news of your death to reach your family members. To say I was a wreck would be a bit of an understatement. Edward had erased any signs of our making it to land, we'd hunted and I'd fidgeted. A lot. Edward tried talking to me but I was so anxious to see Charlie that I wasn't very good company. Luckily, he understood and just held me and let me ramble or sit in silence depending on what I needed.

Edward had another disposable cell phone, apparently Emmett and I had not destroyed the whole supply during my training, which he was using to communicate with Alice. They'd reported us missing a day after the explosion, giving the authorities a push to put two and two together and discover that our boat was the one that had gone down in the Atlantic. That had yet to be confirmed though. Edward and I watched from high atop a tree as a Coast Guard boat dropped anchor near the spot Emmett had called in and divers went below. The divers returned with various scraps from the ship but didn't have positive identification yet.

I saw some activity pick up aboard the boat and asked Edward what they were excited about. "I think they found something that gave them our identity."

"What did they find?"

Edward had a better view than I did. "The plank with the boat's name on it."

"So they'll know now?"

He took my hand and ran his thumb along the back of it. "Yes, love."

I closed my eyes. "So my parents will know soon."

He shifted next to me. "Yes, well I imagine they'll call Carlisle and Esme first, since they reported us missing. Then I think one of them, maybe Alice, will call Charlie."

That was good. Better to hear it from Carlisle or Alice than some stranger. I watched silently as divers entered and exited the water. A sudden buzz in Edward's pocket caught my attention. He took it out to show me the screen.

_We just got the call that your boat went down. They emphasized that no bodies had yet been found but that they weren't hopeful due to the size of the explosion and the current that day._

"What if Charlie never gives up, since they can't locate our bodies?" This had been eating at me for a couple of days but I had yet to verbalize the fear to Edward.

"I made sure to leave something that would leave no doubt that you hadn't survived."

"What did you have Carlisle steal some bones or something?" That was pretty gross to think about.

He chuckled softly. "No, bones can be tested."

"What then?"

He pinned me with his golden gaze and took my left hand in his and ran his fingers over my wedding ring. "I had a replica of your ring made and left it on the boat. It should be at the bottom of the sea. Charlie will recognize it, no doubt."

I ripped my hand from his and clutched my ring close to my heart. I hated the thought of it down at the bottom of the sea, even if it was just a copy. The searing pain subsided as I fought to distract myself from the mental image of losing myself and the sign of our mutual love beneath the waves. I grasped to the first thought that entered my mind: "Oh, Edward that must have cost you a fortune."

He just rolled his eyes. "Not an issue, I assure you." Well sure it wasn't, we'd just blown up an $85,000 boat but it seemed a costly endeavor. Of course, if we'd taken a plane like he wanted I couldn't imagine what kind of expense that would be. Such a waste of money, I wasn't used to being able to throw it away like this.

"I'm glad you didn't need to take this ring." Something I once dreaded meant the world to me now, that symbol of forever between myself and Edward. Plus it was the one piece of his human life that he could give to me; I would never want to part with it.

His eyes widened. "I'd never ask you to give up your ring, Bella. I never want it to leave your finger."

I pressed my lips to his. "It won't, I promise."

He kissed me back softly and then looked deeply into my eyes. "How are you?"

I shrugged and looked down. "Anxious." He tilted my face back up to see he could look at me, so I kept talking. "Worried about my parent's reactions, excited and scared to see Charlie one last time, guilty about what this will do to them, sick to my stomach, worried about you." Edward looked confused at that last one.

"Why would you possibly be worried about me?"

I brushed a hand through his hair. "I know that you're worried about how I'm handling things." He nodded. "And I guess I feel like all my crazy emotions are going to hurt you. I don't want you to feel bad about what I asked you to do, Edward. This was right for us and I know it. I don't regret it but it's hard to deal with this part of things. Does that make sense?"

I could see the guilt shining in his golden eyes. "You know me too well."

I smiled. "That's my job."

His sad eyes met mine. "I just hate taking your family away from you, Bella. I swore I'd give you the world, not take it away from you."

I shook my head. "I can't have everything, but having you is as close to it as I can get."

"I want you to have it all."

"I knew what I was giving up when I asked you to change me; you have nothing to feel bad about."

He smiled sadly. "Maybe but I hurt when you hurt, Bella. It's part of the package."

I snuggled into his side. "And you make me feel better when I hurt, even if you can't see that, you are helping."

He kissed my forehead. "I hope so."

"You are." I gave him a hard kiss to emphasize my point and his arms tightened around me. Before things could get more heated his phone buzzed again.

_I called Charlie. He's making flight arrangements right now. We told him we were all driving up immediately. Jazz will leave a car for you at the spot you settled on._

Edward texted a thank you back to Alice. "She'll let me know what time he'll be in."

"How is Jasper going to leave us a car, aren't we on an island?"

"No, this is just land that juts out into the ocean; it's connected to the mainland, that's why Em dropped us here instead of the small island." That made sense. Edward's cell signaled another incoming text.

_He lands at noon tomorrow. He'll probably be on site around two then. We have a problem though, I can't see anything anymore._

Edward sighed as I panicked. "What? Why can't she see anything? Does something happen to Charlie? Edward, we have to stop him from coming!"

He gripped my shoulders tightly, his touch calming me somewhat but I was still ready to tear out of the trees and announce my presence to the men on the boat. "Bella, calm down. If his plane was going to crash, she'd see that. It's another problem entirely." Nothing was a problem as long as Charlie was going to be safe. Why couldn't Alice see….oh no.

"Wolves?"

"I should have figured they wouldn't let him come alone."

"But they know that I'm actually alive. They're not going to fight us because we broke the treaty, are they? We're not on their land anymore!" Thank God Jasper and Emmett and the others were coming, we might need them for a battle. Unbelievable, I couldn't even die without a major war breaking out.

"Bella, I doubt they're all coming and I doubt the ones that do are coming to fight. Think about it, Billy would never let Charlie go through something like this alone. He's his best friend. It wouldn't look normal if Billy just ignored it and let him handle it by himself." This was true.

"Billy would have a hard time traveling."

"Yes, so my guess is he'll send Jake with Charlie. It would make sense, what with your past relationship with him." Edward's voice hardened as he spoke of my history with Jake. I stroked his cheek, wishing I could take back the hurt that moment in the woods that I knew still snuck up on him from time to time.

Was I going to get to see Jake again too? The two men I thought I'd never see again would both be here tomorrow. It was surreal. It was sad and yet it kind of made me happy. I'd gotten used to the idea that I would see Charlie but Jake? It was like a dream and a nightmare all wrapped up together. The last time I'd seen him, he'd been so hurt. Had time healed anything between us? I somehow doubted that, seeing as I'd done the one thing he'd hated above anything else. I'd given my life for an eternity with Edward. He said it was the one thing he couldn't ever forgive.

"How I wish I could read your mind." He watched me carefully, his golden gaze trying to penetrate whatever kept him from getting at my thoughts. No, he really didn't want to know what I'd been thinking about.

"I'm just thinking it's very strange that I'm going to get see both of them again. I didn't think I'd ever get to and now to see them both at the same time?"

"How do you feel about that?"

"I feel scared, nervous, guilty and strangely happy." He nodded and turned away to look at the water. I took his face between my hands and pulled his gaze back to me. "I just want to see that he's okay. I hurt him pretty badly."

"I know." I couldn't read him, his face was carefully guarded.

"What is it?"

"You know he'll be able to smell us, right? He's probably not just going to stand there next to Charlie. You know Jacob; he's going to come after us." Would Jake and Edward finally fight? They'd been so close a time or two and Jake was going to be so angry when he saw me. Oh no, Jake was going to see me and now I was the thing he loathed, a monster in his eyes. How would it be to have my best friend look upon me as an evil being? I shuddered.

"Should we leave?"

His eyes were steady on me and he didn't answer for several minutes. "No."

"But what if Jake finds us and you get in a fight?"

"He won't fight me with Charlie so close by. He risks not only exposing us all but hurting him as well. Jacob is rash but he's not stupid."

"Still, it would be better for us just to go home and not risk it. I don't want to cause either one of you any more pain."

He looked at me in surprise then. "How would you cause me any pain?"

"Did it not just hurt you now when I said that I was happy to get to see Jake again?" He shrugged. "Edward?"

"Maybe a little. Not that I'm worried about you seeing him or anything, it just made me remember."

"That day in the mountains." I finished for him and he nodded. "Edward, I know that hurt you. And you know that I will never do something like that to you again. I'd rather die than cause you pain."

He chuckled. "A little too late for that one." I giggled and then laughed at the verbal slip I'd just made.

"Morbid humor."

"My specialty," he flashed me his lopsided grin and his eyes warmed. I felt much better seeing him smile again.

"Still, maybe we should go. We can meet Jasper at the car and just go home while they all stay here for the search."

He put a hand on my knee and shook his head again. "No, Bella. You want to see Charlie again. This is the last time you can do that. We don't know for sure that it is Jake coming but if it is, you'll want to see him too. And though I doubt the conversation will be pleasant, talking to him might give you some peace with regards to them giving Charlie the support he'll need. You would like that, wouldn't you?"

"Yes." I couldn't deny it. The letters I had written to Jake and Billy had made me feel better but if I could actually hear from one of them that they'd look after my father it would mean even more.

"Then we stay. If he tries anything, I'll handle it." I sighed, that was not overly reassuring but it was best to be prepared. Jake had a volatile temper; I knew that all too well. "It may not even be him, could be one of the others." Edward sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that. I was sure it would be Jacob though.

"Come on, let's find something to eat." Take both our minds off things for awhile.

We killed a little time hunting and then just watched the divers, who clearly hadn't found my replica ring yet. I hope that didn't disappear in the current. Edward said it wouldn't though, he rattled off some mathematical formula that I didn't remotely understand but he assured me that it would go where he said it would. I trusted him.

Shortly after another fantastic sunrise Edward's phone chirped again. "Why doesn't Alice just call? These are untraceable phones right?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "It's more covert this way according to Alice. Don't ask me."

_We're here. Carlisle, Esme, Em and Rose are meeting with Search & Rescue. Jazz and I are with the car. See you soon?_

Edward texted her in the affirmative and we set off to the inland location where Jasper had stashed our vehicle. I felt my heart lighten a little when I saw my brother leaning against a nondescript black sedan and Alice pacing back and forth with her usual nervous energy.

I burst through the trees and Alice ran to me, wrapping me in her arms and holding me tightly. "Bella, are you okay?" Her spiky hair tickled my cheek as I nodded.

"I'm surviving." It was the best way to describe it. I looked over her head and saw Jasper regarding me, no doubt reading my emotions.

Alice pulled back and looked at me. "I've been so worried. I hate not being able to see! I think you'll be fine, though, I can feel it even if I can't see it."

I slipped an arm around her and tried for a smile. "I will be." Jasper pushed off the car and walked to me while Alice turned to Edward and started talking a mile a minute, filling him on all the phone calls and preparations that had been made.

Jasper took my hand in his and I felt calm sweep over me. "Giving me some help, are you?"

He chuckled. "I figured it couldn't hurt. Your emotions are understandably all over the place."

"I feel a little bit of everything. Guilt, sadness, fear and even happiness at seeing them again…it's overwhelming."

He nodded in understanding. "This is, by far, the hardest thing you'll have to get through. Being in the same room as humans is nothing when confronted with leaving everyone you love behind."

"Thankfully I didn't have to leave everyone. I have Edward. I have all of you. I feel bad, kind of like I've replaced one family with another."

He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't most people do that in their lifetime though? They grow up, get married and start their own families. Yes, they still usually see their first family but the one they made is their priority."

I bit my lip and nodded. "That's a very good point, Jasper; I'm going to try to think of it like that."

"Charlie's pain is going to affect you deeply. Do you want me to be nearby to help with that?"

I shook my head emphatically. "No. I don't know if this makes sense but I think I need to feel it. It's the last time I'll see him and the last piece of him I can take with me. I don't want to lessen it. It might make it easier for me to endure but I'd rather feel everything I need to feel."

He folded me in a hug then and I felt his comfort sweep through me, inhaling deeply to take in his desert scent. "You are so incredibly strong, Bella. Never doubt that. Use it and you'll be fine."

"I will," I whispered as he pulled back.

"Alice, we should go meet up with the others."

"Oh, you're right! They're going to take us out on the boat to the sight of the accident. Where will you be?"

Edward answered. "Three miles to the south, high in the trees. We'll see you and you'll be able to see us. We'll wait until Charlie comes on scene, see who he has with him and deal with whatever that brings and then we'll go home and meet you there."

"Okay, keep the phone. I'll text you when we leave and let you know what our plans are." Alice gave me another quick hug and she and Jasper took off at a run. He looked over his shoulder and nodded at me once before they disappeared out of sight.

Edward took my hand and we walked slowly back to the tree from where we'd been watching all the action. We both climbed up and regained our perch on a very strong branch. The tension seeped back into my bones as the sun rose higher in the sky. I could tell it was after noon now, Charlie's plane had landed and he was en route. I'd see him soon. Finally. The past three days had been interminably long.

I watched with interest as a Coast Guard cutter pulled up and saw the rest of our family on board, wearing solemn expressions on their faces. They were amazing, not one of them showed anything other than sorrow and worry. Was I that impassive? When I saw Charlie would my expression remain stony and unmoved while my insides were in turmoil? I guess it's a good protective barrier. Edward was watching me closely though and I knew he'd know.

Jasper glanced in our direction and gave a slight nod, nothing the humans would pick up upon. "Edward, what time is it?"

He glanced at his phone. "It's one. Charlie should be here in about an hour or so." His words trailed off as he listened to something on the ship. I couldn't make out any words; the engines were too loud even with my enhanced hearing. "Alice says that they'll find the ring about three hours after Charlie gets there."

"She can see that? So Jake isn't there then?" I felt both relieved and disappointed at this news.

"He's not on board with them, no. I imagine he'll come to find us on foot."

"Oh." Now it was relief and fear. I hated having the capacity for so many emotions.

The next hour dragged and then finally I heard an engine approaching from the mainland. I leaned so far out of the tree that Edward put his hands on my waist to steady me. I glanced at him and he smirked. "Habit." I smiled and turned my attention back to the boat. My father was there. I could feel it even though I couldn't see him yet.

The boat finally turned slightly and there he was. I gasped and my heart soared at the sight of Charlie, shoulders hunched, body stooped, his eyes trained on the water as if he'd be able to see me surface at any moment. Even his mustache appeared fallen and droopy. I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. His eyes, my old eyes, looked haunted. The spark of life that usually flashed in those brown orbs was missing. I'd done that, I'd taken that from him. I sobbed and Edward tightened his grip on my waist.

"Bella." Edward whispered, his hands climbing up to cup my face, trying to comfort me with his touch. I closed my eyes for a moment and let the buzz of energy run through me, give me more strength. I nodded and opened my eyes. I would not look away again. I had to see the pain I'd wrought and be there for my father the only way I was able to now.

I watched in silence as Charlie shuffled from his boat onto the one the rest of my family was already on. I felt like leaping out of the tree and swimming to him as I watched Alice take Charlie in a gentle hug. Part of me was happy she could be there for him and another part wanted to rip her away and scream that he was my father. God I was selfish. How could I feel that way about someone giving my father comfort when he truly needed it?

Of course, I already knew I was selfish. I'd chosen my happiness over both my parents. I knew what losing me would do them yet I went ahead and did what I wanted to do. I didn't deserve any of them; not Charlie, not Renee and not Edward. Esme folded Charlie into one of her warm embraces, the kind that made you feel like you were at home at last. I prayed that he felt the way that I did when she hugged me. Carlisle clapped a supporting hand on Charlie's shoulder and left it there.

"What are you hearing?" I had to know what my father was thinking.

Edward sighed. "Not a lot. He's hoping we washed up somewhere, or that it's not really our boat. He…" Edward broke off and I tore my gaze away from my father to see what Edward was keeping from me. "He's wishing you'd never met me because you'd be alive and well right now, probably at UW."

"Oh, Edward. Please know, no matter how much I hate what's happening today, I don't wish that. I don't want that. I want you. I'm a selfish, awful person but I still want you." I clutched at his hands, willing him to see the truth in my words. I couldn't deal with both his and Charlie's emotions. Why was this so hard?

"Bella, you are not selfish or awful. You're the kindest, most loving and generous person that I know."

"Kind? Generous?" I bit off the words, anger vibrating through me. I wasn't mad at him, of course, I was angry at myself. "Look at what I've done, Edward." I gestured towards the broken man standing on the boat. "How is that kind or generous or loving?"

He regarded me sadly, his eyes swimming with emotion. "What choice did you have?" I started to answer but then stopped. What choice did I have? I could have lived a human life with Edward at my side for as long as he could be before it looked like a boy and his mother, or worse, grandmother. I couldn't fathom that. I could have let him go. My heart clutched at that and I knew that was never a choice for me. I would not have survived losing him again. I could have told Charlie about vampires and wolves and been committed, or worse, put his life at risk from the Volturi. Or I could have done this, the choice I'd made and sworn I could live with.

I pressed my forehead to Edward's. "There was no choice. This was the right one. It just hurts, Edward."

He pulled me next to him and draped his arms around me. "I know, Bella. This is why I wanted to take you away. I didn't want you to see this, to feel this. But you have to know, you're not selfish. I think, no I know, Charlie would want you to live the life you wanted. Yes, he thinks that life is over but it's not. Your happiness is all he ever wanted." Live. Yes, Charlie would want me to be happy. And I knew I would be again. The thought filled me with shame, knowing that I would move on and still have forever with the man I loved. If only Charlie had someone.

"Edward, is there a way for us to watch out for Charlie? I know we can't go back to Forks but if Alice can't see him because of the wolves…how will I know if he's okay?"

Edward pressed a kiss to my hair. "I've already spoken to Jasper about that, love. He has a man in Seattle that handles things for us."

I narrowed my eyes at him before cutting them back to Charlie. I had to spend every moment I could watching him. "What things?"

Edward chuckled. "Illegal things, mostly. Forgeries, documents, passports, identification, birth certificates. He keeps us current, if you know what I mean?" I frowned. What could a man like that do for my father? "He has connections. He'll hire a private investigator to keep an eye on Charlie for us. We'll get weekly reports."

"Edward, my father is a cop. He's going to notice if some guy is shadowing him all the time."

"Trust me, Bella. Whomever he hires will become a fixture in Forks. He'll have a job where he can see Charlie a lot, or move in on your street or something. Jasper's guy will make sure it goes off without a hitch; he values our business too much not to. Plus, he's scared of Jasper." I actually felt a smile stretch my face at that; Jasper could be quite intimidating if he wanted to be.

"That's good then." I hated the thought of getting weekly reports on my father but it was better than waiting for Alice to get a vision.

I watched in shock as Rosalie of all people walked up to my father and pressed a cup of coffee into his hands. Charlie shivered in his giant blue parka. I frowned. It must be so cold for him and for the other humans involved in the search. We should have done it earlier; then it would already be over. I strained to hear what they were saying but still couldn't make it out. "Edward, what is Rose saying?" She'd better not be badmouthing me to my father or making snide comments about my death. I would kill her without hesitation if she made this any worse on him than it already was.

"She's telling him how happy you were these past few months and how you completed our family." I blinked at him in shock and had he not been holding me I would have fallen out of the tree. Rose said that? About me? "Don't look so surprised, Bella. Despite your differences, Rose doesn't want to see Charlie hurting. Though she can be hateful at times, she's not a hateful person. She knows when to show compassion." Would she ever show it to me? Then again, did I deserve it right now?

Edward smiled. "Charlie just thought that, even though he blames me for this, he's glad that if the worst is true, at least we were together. He knows what we mean to one another and that neither of us could have gone on without the other one." I kissed his angular jaw, warmed a bit at my father's thoughts.

"You're not to blame, you know. This is my doing."

"Not true. If I wasn't a vampire, we wouldn't have gone through any of this. We'd just be a boy and girl, teenagers in love. The worst we'd go through would be arguments over me spending too much time playing video games and you being a nag." I giggled at the image of me nagging Edward over his time in front of the TV.

"Somehow I don't picture that."

"That's true; you could never be a nag." I snorted at that one and Edward stiffened beside me.

"What is it?"

"He's coming."

"Who's coming?" I glanced at the boat and Charlie was still aboard, talking anxiously to one of the crew members.

"Jacob. I can hear him." Edward climbed down the tree and I scrambled after him.

"What's he thinking?"

"Nothing you want to hear." I sighed. Of course he wasn't looking forward to seeing me. Suddenly I caught a scent on the wind and my nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Is that him?"

Edward chuckled at my expression. "Yes. Foul isn't it?" It was an acrid odor like nothing I'd ever smelled before. If I had to equate it to anything, I'd compare it to the smell of rotting garbage from when I was human. I looked at Edward in horror.

"I smelled like that to you? When I was spending time with Jacob?" He shrugged and nodded. God, how much he must have loved me to overlook that stench on my skin.

"I'm sorry." I truly was. As usual I'd been thinking of myself and how Jacob had made me feel and ignored the effect he had on Edward. It was beyond even the jealousy; that smell was horrible. It got more pronounced as Jake got closer and I could hear his paws crashing down on deadened leaves and branches.

"You were worth it." He truly was blind to what a terrible person I was. Or he forgave me for it. I didn't deserve him.

I listened to a whooshing sound behind a large elm tree and glanced at Edward. "He phased back into human form so you could hear him too." I shifted nervously as Jake emerged from the trees, clad only in his habitual pair of jeans despite the frigid weather. My eyes roamed his form, looking for any changes in the months since I'd seen him last. His hair had grown some, now hanging to his shoulders. The rest of him remained unchanged; he had finally stopped growing it seemed. Or maybe it was just because we were gone from Forks.

I glanced at his eyes and blanched from the hate I saw shining in the blackness. I pressed up against Edward and he put a bracing arm around me. Jake hates me. I bit back a cry of pain and waited for him to speak. His eyes took me in, raking over me from head to toe. "You look good, Bells. Death really suits you." I flinched at the sarcasm in his tone.

"Watch it, dog." Edward growled next to me, his body tensing at Jake's words and probably at his thoughts.

"Why, bloodsucker? Is she going to kill me? Why not go for it Bells? You've already killed yourself; you're in the process of killing your father. Why not complete the trifecta?" I gasped and my body started shaking. I wanted to cry. I wanted to tear him apart. I wanted to bury my head in Edward's neck and shut out the entire world for the rest of time.

"That's enough, Jacob. Say what you came to say and then get lost. I won't hesitate to kill if you if you say another insulting word to my wife." Edward's velvet voice was vicious and I believed he would follow through on the threat.

"Edward, no. Let him say what he has to. I deserve it."

Jake's eyes shifted back to me. "Deserve? The only thing you deserve is to actually be dead at the bottom of that ocean. Do you know what you've done to him?"

"Yes," my voice was barely above a whisper.

"You think because you've been sitting in that tree watching him that you know what he's going through? He's hardly spoken since he got the call. He called my father, barely choking out the words that you were presumed lost at sea. Billy told him that he couldn't go alone and so I had to come, even knowing that you were not lying in the bottom of the ocean. Do you think I want to be here? To look at you and see you like this?" He shuddered in disgust. "Look at what you've become. You sicken me."

Edward sucked in a breath and started forward. I tightened my muscles and held him in place, thankful for the fact that I was stronger than him. He fought me for a minute but then stopped. I truly couldn't handle him and Jake fighting right now and Edward knew that.

Jake laughed harshly. "Look at how whipped you are. Aren't you man enough to defend your," he broke off, his eyes sweeping over me again, "_woman's _honor?" I kept my grip tight around Edward's waist but he didn't fight me this time.

Edward's eyes had gone black with rage. "Never doubt what I am man enough to do for Bella. I'd do anything for her, which is why you're still alive. She still doesn't want me to kill you, even when you insult her and treat her like trash. She was your best friend. She loves you. How could you attack her like that?"

Something flickered in Jacob's eyes for a moment but it was gone before I could identify the emotion. "She was my best friend but then she died. She's gone now."

I hung my head and whispered, "I'm right here, Jake. I'm still Bella."

He shook his head. "You're not my Bells anymore. You made your choice. You're not my best friend. You're my mortal enemy." His words cut me to my very core. I knew it would be like this but to hear it and feel it was like being stabbed repeatedly in the heart. "The girl I loved could not have done this to her family and her friends. She always put other's feelings before her own, even when it was stupid of her to do so." His eyes cut to Edward. "Especially when it was stupid of her to do so."

"Jake, I…"

He shook his head, his hair trailing across his shoulders. "No, Bella, there's really nothing more left to say. You did what you did and I will never forgive that. I told you that before you married him. You gave up everything for him. You made your choice." Yes, I had and even with his hurtful words I didn't regret it.

"I know I don't have a right to ask you for anything but…"

Jake held up a hand, his muscles bunching in anger. "No, you don't. So don't say it. I came here for two reasons and one is to address what I think you're about to ask me. We got your letters, my father and I. I'm not going to respond to most of it, you already know how I feel. It's an insult, though, that you felt the need to ask us to look after Charlie. He's part of our family. Unlike _some people, _we look out for our family. We will take care of him. We'll get him through all the pain your selfish actions have caused him. We're doing that for him, not for you. I won't ever do anything for you again." I shivered at the cold tone in his voice.

"Thank you."

His glare penetrated me to the bone. "No thanks necessary. As I said, we're doing this for Charlie. Not for you. If I didn't love him, I would probably step away just to spite you." My jaw dropped at that idea of him turning away from Charlie just to get back at me. "Don't worry, Bella, I'm a bigger _person_ than that." I sighed at his emphasis on the word person. I was surprised he hadn't called me a monster yet.

He turned to Edward. "The other reason I'm here is to issue a warning."

Edward nodded. "Let's hear it."

"You violated the treaty." His eyes flew to the mark on my neck, the place where Edward had bitten me. "If you step foot in Forks again, we will kill you. There is no longer a treaty."

"I have no intention of ever returning to Forks. However, my family will have to go back for our funerals." Jake sneered at that. "It wouldn't look right to Charlie, or to the rest of the town, if they weren't there."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Fine, they can come. But they leave right after. We will attend to Charlie. And you two better not be there, or did you have a sick need to watch your parents cry at your grave?" I shook my head and finally gave in, burying myself in Edward's arms. "Isn't that sweet? Undead love."

"Enough, dog. You've said your piece, now go." I pulled my face away from Edward's chest and turned to look at Jacob one last time. The anger died out of his face for a moment and for just a few seconds he looked like my former best friend. His face was sad and vulnerable and I took an instinctive step towards him. The mask slipped back on his face and the moment of weakness was quickly gone, it was almost as if I'd imagined it.

"Yes, I have to be there when Charlie gets back. I'm sure he's going to need me after what you've done to him." My shoulders slumped, I couldn't deny his words.

"Goodbye, Jacob. I'm sorry I hurt you. I will always remember you." Emotion flickered again.

"I'll always remember my former friend, Bella Swan, as a cautionary tale of what falling for the wrong person can bring. My best friend is dead."

He turned and jogged away. I watched until he ducked out of sight and then burrowed back into Edward's arms. He held me for a long time, giving me the time I needed to deal with the fallout from seeing Jake. I'd known it was going to be bad but to see the hatred in his eyes…I just hadn't been prepared for that. I had been so naïve. I should have been ready for it but a part of me truly believed he would always be my best friend. Still, he had given me the one thing I needed above anything else. They would be there for Charlie. It was more than I could have hoped for.

I pulled away from Edward and he cupped my face in his hands. "Are you alright?"

"No." I gave him the truth. "But I will be." I had him and that would get me through anything. I turned and went back up the tree. My time with Charlie was fast coming to a close and I didn't want to miss another minute of seeing him while I could. I got back to my spot and immediately found him, standing next to Carlisle and looking lost.

I memorized every line on his face, every hair on his head. It was all precious to me and I wanted to keep him in my memory forever. I had happier moments than this to focus on but this was the last time I'd ever lay eyes on him. This was goodbye even if he couldn't say it back.

A sudden commotion started on the boat as a diver emerged clutching something shiny in his hands. Edward gripped my hand tightly and I knew they'd found the ring. I bit my lip as I watched Charlie reach out and take the item from the diver's hands, his face contorting in pain as he saw what he held. His knees gave out and Carlisle caught him before he fell to the bottom of the ship. He and Esme led him over to the bench as tears started running down Charlie's cheeks.

Was it possible for a dead heart to break? Because mine just had. In all my nineteen years, I'd never truly seen Charlie cry. His eyes had misted up at my wedding but this was different. He was broken, sobbing openly against Esme's shoulder. For the first time I was glad that I couldn't hear over the stupid engines. I watched helplessly as Alice wrapped her arms around Charlie's waist and hugged him from behind, my family surrounding him and trying to give him comfort. Rose gripped his gloved hand in hers and turned her face towards me, shooting an accusatory glare in my direction. I didn't need to see it; I knew what I'd wrought.

The captain approached our family and said a few words, shaking his head in response to an unheard question. I lifted my dry eyes to Edward and silently asked what they'd said. "They just told them that they were calling off the search. Your ring was the confirmation they needed. The current was strong and they assume we both washed away." I nodded numbly. It was just as we'd planned. Everything had gone perfectly, even the part where I'd crushed my father. "They're going to leave in a minute, Bella."

I turned my eyes back to Charlie, bent and broken on the deck of the ship. A cold mist began to fall from the gray sky, fitting the mood perfectly. He clutched my ring to his chest and rocked against Esme. Alice was speaking to him, words I wished to hear and dreaded at the same time. The captain took his place at the wheel and started steering back towards shore. I watched until I could see them no longer. I'd never see Charlie again and God help me, I never wanted to see him looking like that again. There could be nothing worse than seeing my father suffer like that, at my own hands no less.

I sat there for a long time, Edward silent at my side, holding my hand and giving me his unconditional support. I don't know how long I sat there, Charlie's image burned into my brain, Jake's accusatory words washing over me. The mist changed to snow and still we sat, the snow coating our hair. I mentally ran through every movement Charlie had made on that boat, every blink, every gesture. I tucked it all in a special place in my heart that would always belong to him. I'd done something unforgiveable to my father but I knew he'd still love me anyway.

Finally I turned to Edward. He gave me a hesitant smile and squeezed my hand. "Let's go home."

* * *

**Follow up A/N: I'm going to ask those who read and reviewed this next chapter as well. I'm planning on publishing an outtake this week of the call that Alice made to Charlie to inform him of Bella and Edward's disappearance. Would you also like an outtake of Charlie and the Cullen's on the boat as well as of the funeral? Let me know and I will do them, they'll be full of angst to write and I don't want to do it unless you guys truly want it. I have put it up as a poll question in my profile, please vote!  
**


	33. Chapter 33

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 33

BPOV

The ride back to Hanover was pretty quiet. Edward understood my need to keep my thoughts to myself so he let me take the lead, only murmuring responses to my comments on passing scenery. I knew I was hurting him and I hated that. I wanted to push my feelings aside because I knew that he was feeling guilty; like he caused my pain. I asked for this, he didn't do it to me, but that was Edward, he would always take everything to heart, especially anything that hurt me.

He held my hand the whole way home, stroking his thumb over the back. His touch was comforting, as always, though I really didn't want to be comforted right now. I needed to wallow for awhile, I guess, which was pretty pathetic when I thought about it. I'd made my choice and I had to live with it. Even now, knowing how terribly I'd affected Charlie, I couldn't regret it. I couldn't regret him. I looked at that perfect profile; the untamed bronze hair, the high cheekbones, the kissable lips, the porcelain skin. Somehow he was mine. And I was his. Forever.

I squeezed his hand and he looked at me, his golden eyes reflecting his concern for me. I smiled at him then, resolving to push my feelings aside for now. I would find some time alone to mourn for my parents, to say a private goodbye. Edward's answering smile bloomed across his face, his whole body looking lighter now. His grip on the steering wheel loosened and the tension seeped out of his shoulders. I'd done that to him. I hurt everyone I loved; it was time I stopped that.

"I don't regret it."

His smile fell away and he stared into my eyes, looking like he was trying to see into my brain. This was one of those rare times that I wished he could read my mind, so he could know that despite it all, it was the truth. "Are you sure?"

"I'm absolutely positive. You're worth it."

He shook his head sadly, pain flashing in his beautiful eyes. "No, I'm not."

"You are. We are." My tone rang with my conviction and I clutched his hand to mine. His fingers ran over his mother's ring, the ring that hadn't left my finger since I'd become his wife.

"I'm not," he insisted, "But we are." I shook my head.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, you know." He laughed as I threw his own words back at him.

"Maybe I shouldn't have given you that journal. You're using it against me now."

"It was the best gift you've ever given me, short of yourself. I don't want to lose a moment with you; human or vampire ones."

He drew my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss there, a kiss I felt all the way down to my toes. "I don't want you to. I hate taking things away from you." And there we were, back to his blaming himself for my having to give up my family.

"Edward, I can't have everything. I made my choice and while I can't say I'm happy at this moment, I know that I will be again, soon. It was right for me."

"I want to give you everything, though."

"You've given me more than I ever wanted, more than I ever thought I could have."

He gave me a half smile. "It's not even a fraction of what you've given me."

"I think that it is." He shook his head. "How about we agree that we've both gotten more than we ever thought we possibly could?"

I got it then, a real smile, that devastatingly beautiful grin that could knock me off my feet. "I can agree to that." He turned off the road, onto the private drive that led to our home.

"Are they home?"

Edward shook his head. "Jasper and Rose are. Everyone else went to Washington."

"Why didn't they go?"

Edward grimaced. "Rose refused to go." I shrugged, that shouldn't surprise me. "Jasper stayed to make sure you were alright." The irritation I felt at Rosalie's presence immediately subsided when I heard that Jasper was here for me; somehow I knew he always would be.

"How did they explain that?" After all, Edward was "dead" too, his whole family should be there.

"Classes that couldn't be missed."

I snorted. "That's not much of an excuse."

He shrugged. "Charlie wasn't about to question it. Rose just acted very upset and Jasper said he'd stay with her while the others left." I winced, knowing my father was probably incapable of focusing on something like Jasper and Rose's presence at the funerals.

"Edward, where was my mother? Did you get anything from Charlie?"

He looked sad and squeezed my hand. "They were on a cruise. Nobody could get in touch with them until today. She and Phil are heading to Washington as soon as they get back on land." A part of me was relieved that they hadn't found out in time to come to Maine to help in the search. Living with my father's expression was hard enough; seeing Renee suffer would have been too much. I longed to see my mother again but I'd rather see her when she was happy. Maybe someday.

Edward stopped the car and we got out as the front door opened and Jasper hurried over to me. He wrapped me in his arms and I felt warmth flowing from him. He wasn't using his gift on me; he just naturally made me feel that way. I closed my eyes and absorbed the hug; taking from him the strength I'd expended to make Edward feel better. "How are you?" he asked in that warm, southern honeyed voice, pulling back and studying me carefully.

I gave him a slight smile. "I'm doing alright." He raised an eyebrow at me. "I'm handling it."

He nodded. "I know you are. Your emotions are all over the place, almost overwhelming. But here you are, smiling and dealing with it."

"What else is there to do?"

"Good point." He released me and stepped back. "I'm here if you need me, to talk or to help." He would take my emotions away from me if I asked and give me peace when I didn't deserve it.

"I know you are. I can't thank you enough. But I think I need to feel it for now, you know?"

"I understand." And somehow I knew he did.

"I think I'm going to go lie down for awhile." Not that I could escape with sleep, but at least I could rest my body if not my mind.

Edward looked at me hesitantly. "Do you…can I…do you want to be alone?"

I shook my head and reached out to him. Part of me did want to be alone but a greater part of me wanted to hold him, to reaffirm that I'd done the right thing. With him at my side, the doubts were mostly silenced. "No. I want you with me, always." He took my hand and we went to our bedroom. He took me into his arms and held me for two days and nights. We didn't need to make love; we just needed to be together. He was my home and I showed him that with my eyes, with my touch and occasional kisses.

Eventually we decided to get out of bed and face the world again. How ironic that the day I decided to face the world was the day I was being buried on the other coast. Jasper had let Edward know that Alice had called and everything was going as well as could be expected. My mother had arrived and she'd actually been a rock for Charlie. Talk about role reversal. But it was easier for her, she'd said goodbye to me a couple of years ago. Plus, Renee believed in living life to the fullest and she knew I had done that the last couple years of my life.

Things were tense with the wolves, not surprisingly. They were maintaining the peace for Charlie's sake but they were openly hostile, Jake in particular. Sam had taken Carlisle aside and reiterated that we needed to stay away from Forks in the future, the treaty was void. Only I could manage to obliterate an eighty year old treaty so thoroughly.

Edward took a shower and I sat down at my desk to pen a note to Jasper. I needed his help and I couldn't articulate it without Edward hearing so this was the easiest way. I ran the note over to the house and handed it to him. He greeted that with a raised eyebrow but he shrugged and opened it.

_Don't think about this note, he'll hear you. _Jasper flashed a smile at me from the first line and nodded. _I need you to get him out of here for a couple of hours today. I just need some time alone, some time to say a final goodbye to the person I was and to the family I've left behind. I could ask and he'd go but he would feel guilty about it and I'm tired of hurting him. He can't take this guilt away from me, I need it, Jasper. Will you help me? _

Jasper looked at me closely for a few moments before nodding his head. He took the pen away from me and jotted his own note. _Are you sure you'll be okay alone? _I read over his shoulder and nodded emphatically. _I'll do it but I want you to swear to me that if you need help dealing with this, you'll come to me. I know how you feel, Bella, you can't hide it from me anymore than you really can hide it from Edward. He'll know, you know, even without hearing it in my mind._

Yes, he would figure it out, probably before Jasper even got him out of the house. But I'd do my best to reassure him and hopefully he'd let me take the time I needed. He'd been with me every step of the way and I was grateful for that but I needed this time to let out my feelings without worrying about its effect on him. I wanted to feel my pain and guilt, not his.

_I know he'll figure it out but hopefully he'll understand that this is what I need. When you guys come back I'll be myself again. _Jasper took my hand and squeezed it, leading me over to the sofa and flipping on the TV. We watched the news for a few minutes until Edward came into the room, brushing his damp hair out of his face. He was so beautiful, even in a simple white t-shirt and blue jeans. There was a look of fear in his eyes that died out the instant he saw me sitting quietly next to Jasper.

"There you are, love." He dropped next to me gracefully and planted a soft kiss on my cheek.

I smiled at him. "Were you afraid I'd left?" As if I would ever leave him, nothing could pry me away.

He studied my face carefully and then gave me that half smirk that still gave me butterflies. "Nope you're stuck with me!"

I kissed him gently. "Forever." His face lit up and Jasper gagged on the other side of me.

"Alright, lovebirds, let's tone down the romance a little when my woman is on the other side of the country, okay?" He gave us a scowl but it melted into a laugh as the irritated façade faded away. Yes he was teasing but I knew he missed Alice terribly. He'd stayed behind for me and that meant the world to me. I took his hand in mine and squeezed it in silent thanks, hoping he understood the emotions I was sending his way. He squeezed back and smiled at me. "Edward, want to go hunting with me? I need to refuel before Alice gets here." He waggled his eyebrows in a very Emmett-like fashion and made me giggle.

Edward grinned. "Sure, we'll go, won't we, Bella?"

"I'm not hungry but you two should go ahead."

He frowned and shook his head. "No, I don't want to leave you alone, love. I can go later."

I glanced at Jasper who gave me a small shrug. "No, you should go ahead. I really want to read for awhile, I wouldn't be very good company right now."

His face fell. "Are you alright?"

I took his hand in both of mine. "Edward, I'm fine, really. We've been alone together for almost a week now; it'd be good for you to spend some time with your brother."

"Yeah, I'm lonely," Jasper interjected sarcastically. I glared at him. He was supposed to be helping. He smiled. "Really, man, I am going a little stir crazy without Alice. It's too quiet around here." We all laughed at that, it was true enough. Nobody had heard a peep from Rosalie since we'd gotten home and Edward and I had been wrapped up in each other during that time.

Edward ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I don't know…" A sign of weakness, I pounced on it.

"Go, have fun with Jasper. I'll be right here when you get back."

He studied me for a moment. "Okay, just promise me we'll talk when I get back?" He knew, of course he did.

I nodded and smiled. "Count on it." I gave him a kiss and walked outside with him and Jasper, waving as they took off toward the mountain. Alone at last, I went back to our house and got out the books Alice and Esme had given me for my birthday. There were the pictures of my life before New Hampshire, from childhood to marriage. I opened the one with pictures from when I was a baby, running my fingers over the glossy pages, tracing the smile that lit up Charlie's face as he held a tiny me.

I just hadn't had enough time with him. I loved growing up with my mom but there's something about having a big strong daddy to cuddle up with when you have a nightmare. He was there to hold me when I had nightmares when Edward left; I wondered what it would have been like when I was a little girl. I hadn't been able to appreciate him during that numb time either. I hope he knew how much I truly loved him and how happy I was that we had the last year and a half together.

I let out a little giggle when I saw the picture of Renee feeding me. She was covered in more food than I was. Apparently I'd always been a messy eater, though I was getting better with the blood thing now. I didn't ruin as many clothes.

I felt sad when I got a few pages in and saw that pictures with Charlie were already sporadic. I'd been so young when Renee left him. It made me sad knowing he wasn't there for my first tooth and the first time I tied my shoe and read a book, all those rights of passage a kid went through. And now I'd deprived him of my adulthood and grandchildren.

I'd seen the pictures of Renee and me countless times. She liked to drag out the photo album whenever we moved somewhere new, which was quite often. I smiled as I came across a photo from one of my summer visits with Charlie. I was about five or six year's old, holding up a fishing pole with the tiniest fish on the end. I had lost both my front teeth and was giving the camera a huge smile. Charlie wore a matching one, pride shining in his eyes at my great catch.

My smile faded and I choked back a sob as I imagined his face today. There would be no joy shining in his eyes, no smile stretching across his face, no little girl wrapped in his arms. I rested my head against the photo album and let the guilt wash over me. What I did was right for me but so wrong for him and for my mother. Sobs wracked my body and I longed for the sweet release of tears. I didn't miss much about being human but I missed the ability to cry when I was this pent up inside.

Right now the funeral was getting underway. It was probably a rainy, gray day in Forks, fitting for dual funerals of a young husband and wife taken way too soon. It was all a sham. We would outlive every single person there save for the rest of the Cullens of course. Angela was probably there, with Ben at her side. Jessica wouldn't miss it; she'd cry and carry on as if we'd been best friends instead of near enemies. Mike would probably paint a picture of the girl that got away and blame Edward for my "death". Billy would sit at Charlie's side, lending quiet, stoic support. Jake was probably glaring at the vampires and cursing me under his breath. What a farce it all was.

I wanted to cry but I also wanted to scream and throw things and curse myself. I wanted to curl up in a ball and I wanted to run forever, not looking back. I couldn't settle on what the hell I did want and it was frustrating to no end. I picked the book back up and saw a picture of me and Jake making mud pies at the river while Charlie and Billy fished. Jake pushed me in the river that day. I bet he wished he could do that again right about now. I wished he could too. I wished I could push him in as well. It hurt, those words that he hurled at me in Maine. Some of them were right but some of them very wrong. Where did that boy I made mud pies with go? Why did everything have to get so damn complicated?

Why couldn't Jake have stayed my best friend and not been a wolf? Why did wolves and vampires have to be mortal enemies? Why couldn't Edward have been an actual human boy? No, I actually didn't regret what he was, I mustn't feel like that. I was thrilled that I could live forever with him. I just wished everyone else I loved could have come along for the ride. And listen to me! I have so much more than I ever thought possible; a perfect, glorious man who loves me beyond reason, a wonderful surrogate family that loves me as if I'm one of their own, a chance to do anything and everything I want in life. And here I am being ungrateful because I had to give up some people I loved. That was ridiculous. It was time to start appreciating what I had now. I could look back at the past and miss it but I wasn't going to wallow anymore. Edward would find a new woman when he returned.

With a last look at Charlie's familiar smile, I closed the book and stood to return it to the shelf. I whirled around as I heard someone approaching the doorway. Was Edward back already? I stared in disbelief as Rosalie walked in the house, a frown already marring her impossibly beautifully face. This was the first time she'd ever stepped foot into Edward's and my home.

"Rose? What are you doing here?"

She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow. "Can't I visit my _sister_?" There was a sneer in her voice and I shivered involuntarily. This would not be pleasant.

"Of course you can, but Alice isn't here." Oops, where did that come from? I just wasn't in the mood for Rose's attitude today.

"No, she's attending _your _funeral and taking care of _your _father." She crossed her arms and her face dared me to contradict her.

"Alice is an incredible person. As is your husband, he went along too after all."

She glared at me. "You don't have to tell me how great Emmett is, I already know."

I snorted. "Do you?"

"What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." Now was truly not the time to get into my opinion on her treatment of Emmett. I just wanted a couple of hours alone.

She stared at me with disdain. "I'm not here to talk about Emmett."

"Well what are you here for?" I set the album back on the coffee table and sat back in the recliner. Rose's eyes flew to the album and a smirk settled on her ruby lips.

"Looking back already, Bella? You've only been a vampire for three months now. You can't go that long without regretting your choice? I told you that would happen."

"I don't regret my choice." I didn't. I could be sad about the pain I'd wrought but that didn't mean I wouldn't do it all over again. Sure, I wished it could be different but there really wasn't any other way.

Rose threw up her hands. "You're unbelievable. You saw what you did to him and you don't even care! You destroyed your own father, Bella!"

"I didn't destroy him, Rose. I've hurt him terribly but Charlie's strong."

"Yeah, he really looked strong when his knees gave out and he collapsed on the boat. He was a broken, pathetic little human."

"Don't you dare insult my father! He's one of the best men I know."

She stalked round the room, her blond hair flying as she moved at an inhuman pace. "Second only to your precious Edward, I imagine."

I saw red. "I don't rank the men in my life, Rose. They're all special to me for many reasons."

"But you chose one over the other."

"More than one. I got a whole family out of the deal."

"And ruined one in the process." The smirk was back, full force.

"My family wasn't exactly whole, Rosalie. My parents have been divorced for ages. Charlie and Renee both have their own lives."

"Oh yeah, Bella, what kind of life does Charlie have exactly?" I frowned, because Charlie's life made him happy but I always wanted more for him.

"The one he wants. Work, sports and fishing. It's not my idea of a life but it makes Charlie happy."

"Well I doubt he'll be happy now that his daughter's dead!"

I closed my eyes and heaved a deep breath. "He'll be fine without me; he was for most of his life."

She narrowed her ocher eyes at me. "So that's it, you're getting payback now. He didn't spend enough time with you when you were a child so now you'll teach him a lesson by taking yourself away permanently."

"What are you talking about? I'm nineteen years old; I got married and moved across the country. I had already taken myself away from him. I did what most kids my age do. I made my own life."

"And ruined his. You're the most self-absorbed person I've ever met."

That did it, I started yelling. "What was I supposed to do? Stay in Forks all my life and take care of Charlie? Would you have done that for your father? It seems to me that you were anxious to leave your family and marry your rich fiancée and have your own life yourself when you were my age."

Rose flinched like I'd slapped her. "How dare you bring that up? I didn't purposely leave my family behind like you did."

"I made a choice, Rose. Like you, I fell in love with a man and got engaged. Unlike you, I got my happily ever after. I'm sorry if that bothers you." I was ashamed that I'd thrown her past at her but she was ripping my open wounds, I couldn't help ripping back.

"No, what I got was raped and left for dead and then I got an eternity that I never wanted." Her voice was quieter, speaking of the past that brought her so much unhappiness.

I sighed. "And I'm sorry for that, truly. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a forever that doesn't bring you happiness."

Her eyes flared. "Don't you dare pity me!"

"I do not pity you, Rose. I'm telling you that I wish things were different for you."

"I don't need your wishes or your sympathy. I don't want it!" She whirled on her heel and headed toward the front door.

"Shocking, you seem to want everything else."

She slowly turned to face me, her beautiful face contorting with rage. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that of all of us, you're the one who constantly wants more, the one who bemoans the life she lost and doesn't embrace the life she found."

She stalked across the room, looking like she was going to attack me. I held my ground though; I wasn't going to let her intimidate me from what I wanted to say this time. "Excuse me? I think I have the right to want what was taken from me." Her voice was low and threatening. She stopped two feet away and glowered down at me.

"Yes, you have that right but do you have the right to make the man you're supposed to love feel like he's not enough for you?"

Her nostrils flared and she lunged forward then, jabbing my chest with her pointer finger. "You don't know anything about me and Emmett! We've been together for longer than your parents have been alive. Don't presume to talk about my relationship. You and Edward have only been married for a few months. You didn't even know he existed until two years ago and you think you know something about relationships? Please, you married the first man that looked at you twice!"

I looked at her without blinking. "And you were going to marry the one who used and abandoned you. How can you presume to talk to me about my relationship?"

She put her hands back on her hips, finally removing them from my sternum. "I've been there from the beginning, remember? I think I know quite a bit about your relationship."

I tilted my head. "You saw it but you weren't part of it. And you don't understand the way I feel. You want more, always more. Edward is my more. He's my everything."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting more!" she shrieked. "You've never had everything taken from you and woken up in a life you never chose!"

"Haven't I? What about when Edward left?"

She tossed her golden hair. "That was the one bright thing he's done since he met you. He never should have come back." She turned and started to head out the door and at that moment I'd had enough. She wasn't leaving, not until I was done with her.

"_Sit down and shut up, Rose!" _Much to my surprise, and apparently to hers as well, she spun around and sat on the sofa. Her mouth opened and closed but no words came out. I blinked a few times to make sure she had really listened to me and then decided I better talk while I still had the element of surprise on my side.

"Never, ever say that." The words came out of my mouth in a hiss, I actually found myself having to swallow venom as the rage welled within me at her careless words. She stared at me in shock but still didn't speak.

I took several breaths, attempting to calm myself and trying to find the words to say what I wanted to say without it leading to an actual physical altercation. I didn't want to destroy my house and I hardly wanted our entire family coming home to find out we'd had a fight. "Rosalie, I don't even know why we're arguing. It all seems to come back to my choice and how you don't approve. I thought we were beyond that by now but you still seem resentful that I gave up my humanity."

She shrugged but still said nothing. "Can't you see that for me, it wasn't even a choice? What I've given up I've gotten back tenfold by having this life with Edward and becoming part of this family. It's what I wanted. Can't you respect that?" She opened her mouth but still nothing came out. I threw up my hands in exasperation. "You can talk now, Rose."

"No, I don't think I can respect that." Her words came out softly, as if she didn't expect them to be there. "How could you be so willing to give up your life?"

"Edward is my life, Rose. Maybe that's old fashioned and anti-feminist of me, but that's how I feel. I can't live without him. He can't live without me. What's so wrong with me taking steps to make sure that we'd be together forever?"

She closed her eyes and shook her head. "I don't know. It just doesn't seem right to me."

"Because it's not the choice you would make."

Her eyes flashed open and she shook her head. "No, it isn't."

"I respect that, Rose. I really do. I don't look down on you for wanting more and I wish you wouldn't look down on me for having my more already."

"You don't understand why I want a real family and children of my own."

"I do understand it, I just don't understand why you have to remind us all the time that you do, particularly Emmett."

She glared at me again but didn't attempt to leave. "Why do you keep dragging him into this? He has nothing to do with you giving up your life and letting your family believe you're dead."

"I keep bringing him into this because you hurt him every time you let it be known that you hate this life."

Her eyes flashed. "I do not! Emmett understands why I feel the way that I do. He's never been anything but supportive of my feelings."

"Yes, because he loves you. You're not blind, Rose. Surely you've seen his face fall whenever you've belittled my choices and pointed out that you would never give up your life for the man you love. You must know how it cuts him to know that if it were up to you, Emmett wouldn't know you existed; that the woman he loves more than anything would trade him for a child she could call her own. You can't be that self-absorbed, which ironically you accused me of being just a little bit ago. At least I recognize what my actions and words do to those I love. Do you?"

"He never said anything." Rose broke off and for the first time since she'd come into the room she looked uncertain. "I never meant to hurt him."

"Of course he hasn't, he wouldn't do that to you. Your happiness is his first concern so he does everything he can to keep you that way. He shoves his feelings aside so as not to hurt you."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Like you're doing for Edward?"

I jerked at her words. "What?"

"You waited until he and Jasper were gone to start your pity party, didn't you? You don't want him to know how upset you are."

I sighed. "He knows, even when I don't want him to. He's been through this with me since we got to Maine. I just wanted to give him a little break from it and give myself a little time to say goodbye to my old life."

"But you have no regrets?" She still looked skeptical.

"No, I don't." My conviction rang in my tone and the skepticism died from her face. "I'm sorry that they have to think I died but it was still the right choice for me. I spent my life caring for my mom, following her around the country and giving up my friends every time we moved. Then I spent the last two years helping take care of Charlie. I didn't mind it but I wasn't exactly living the normal teenage life, with or without Edward coming into my world."

"But how can you be sure you won't want that normal life later?"

"I never wanted it, Rose. I never wanted a husband and a white picket fence and children. I didn't think about those things as a kid. I thought about going to school where I could escape the responsibilities of home for a few hours a day and having friends. Boys were not remotely on my radar until I set eyes on your brother. Then I was done. It didn't matter what he was, I loved him and he was mine."

"I guess I just can't imagine that, not wanting a family, not wanting to feel a life growing inside me that I created and then holding that precious child for the first time."

I smiled at her. "I have a family. Not a normal one but one that makes me very happy."

Her face fell. "Yeah they've embraced you wholeheartedly."

"And you feel like an outsider now."

She looked up in surprise. "How did you know that?"

"It takes one to know one, Rose. I've felt like an outsider all my life, until I got here. This is where I belong."

"It's hard not to resent you."

I nodded. "I get that, I really do. I've changed the dynamic around here but that doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing."

She laughed. "We vampires don't do well with change."

I grinned back at her. "I remember hearing that somewhere."

She crossed her legs and sat back a little, no longer looking like she was going to break for the door. "Emmett really loves you, you know."

I nodded. "The feeling is mutual. He loves his life and I love being around and experiencing it through his eyes."

"He's been that way from day one. He was tough to deal with as a newborn but he was always so cheerful, even through the struggles to control his bloodlust." She smiled fondly, lost in whatever memories flitted through her mind.

"Emmett's amazing." My voice broke a little on the words, wishing he was here to give me one of his bone crushing hugs today of all days.

"He is. I guess I need to let him know that more often, huh?"

I looked at her warily, not sure if she wanted me to agree with her. I just nodded and left it at that. "Look, Bella, I'm not going to pretend that I really understand the choice you made. It's not what I would have done."

"I know that."

"But, as you pointed out, it was your choice to make and I do respect your right to make it."

"Thank you, Rose."

She squared her shoulders. "I meant what I said to Aro. You are a part of this family now and you do belong here. You make Edward happy. It's what we've all always wanted for him."

"It meant a lot to me that you told him that."

"I know." She stood and smoothed her black skirt down her legs. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry that I interrupted your alone time. I guess it makes sense to want to brood a little on the day of your funeral. I wasn't aware for mine, but I imagine I would have felt the same way."

I laughed and stood up to see her off. "I think I'm done with it. You were right; I don't really deserve to mourn a choice I made."

She shook her head. "You do, you're giving up something important. It was just hard, seeing Charlie like that. It made me think of my family and what I'd lost."

"It killed me to see what I did to him, Rose. I'll never forget it. But you know, I could have stayed away and been blissfully ignorant of his reaction. I couldn't do that though, I had to see him for one last time and I'll always know what I did to him."

"I guess I never thought of it like that."

"No reason you should have."

"Actually, there is. I went back and saw my family once, you know, a couple years after my death."

"How was that?"

Sadness shone in her eyes before she blinked it away. "Difficult. They'd moved on, it was like I'd never even been there."

"And I want mine to move on as if I'd never been there."

She barked out a laugh. "We're very different."

"Maybe not as different as you think."

She contemplated me for a moment. "So you're done going down memory lane?"

"Yes, I think it's time to look forward."

"I'm going to work on your car, I'm upgrading the engine."

"Great." I had no idea why she needed to do that to a new car but whatever made her happy.

"Do you want to come and see what I'm doing?"

My jaw dropped open and I stared at her. "Well maybe if you understand the machine you'll actually drive her right and treat her like she deserves." I giggled. Trust Rose to couch an olive branch in an insult.

"Sure, I'll come."

She sauntered out the front door. "I don't have all day."

"Yes you do."

I heard her snort a laugh and headed out the door to go spend some time with Rose. I wouldn't call us friends at this point but it seemed like we were at least becoming family. It was more than I ever thought we'd be.

* * *

**A/N So we finally got that confrontation with Rose! It was a long time coming, I know! Hopefully you all liked it! The angst gets to go away again for awhile although if you want more, I put the first outtake for chapter 32 up under my profile under Sacrificial Lamb Outtakes. It's the call from Alice to Charlie to tell him about the boat. I hope to put out the boat and funeral chapters as well so you might want to put the outtakes under alert if you're interested.**

**I've been asked this once and thought I'd address it so none of you worry. There is not, will not and could not ever be anything between Bella & Jasper other than familial love and friendship in this story. I kind of see Bella/Jasper as having the potential to have an Alice/Edward sort of relationship and that's what I'm working towards. So the hugs, private talks and training sessions are NOT any kind of set up for a triangle. I hate triangles and will never write one. So don't worry, this is B&E all the way!**


	34. Chapter 34

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 34

**EPOV**

I had to have stepped into some parallel universe. I had pretty much accepted that I already lived in a world where almost anything could happen; seeing as I was a vampire and all, but coming home to find Bella in the garage with Rose patiently listening to an explanation on the function of the carburetor was not something that I could remotely fathom. Had one or both of them been hit on the head during our absence? I looked at Jasper who just shrugged; his face also reflected disbelief at what he was seeing.

Perhaps this was just a new facet to the woman I loved. I was very worried about Bella. Faking her death and seeing Charlie and Jacob had hit her pretty hard and I knew she was shutting me out. She and Jasper had tried to be subtle about it but I was aware that she had pushed him to get me out of the house so she could have time to grieve. I hated that she was hiding her feelings and dealing with them alone. I wanted to make it better for her, but I recognized the futility in trying. My Bella was a stubborn woman and she'd handle it the way she wanted to and clearly she'd chosen to deal with it on her own.

I knew she was protecting me. She knows me as well as I know her and I do blame myself for her being in this situation. I know she chose it but if I wasn't a vampire, it wouldn't be an issue now would it? I hated myself for causing her a moment's pain and no matter what she said; this situation was a result of who I was and what I'd made her into. She could never be a monster but I could still be one.

"Edward!" Jasper growled next to me. "What did we discuss?" I sighed and nodded in acknowledgement, trying to get a leash on my guilt. He'd told me what Bella's note said and that she was trying to spare me from taking these emotions on myself yet here I was doing exactly that while my wife was apparently doing just fine. That is, if she hadn't hit her head because I still couldn't figure out what she was doing with _Rosalie_ of all people.

"How did this happen?" I asked Jas, gesturing toward Bella and Rose who had yet to acknowledge our presence.

"You got me, man. They don't seem to be upset or angry. I'm actually getting contentment." He was equally baffled judging by the expression on his face.

Rose didn't bother turning around to address us. "Are you just going to stand there gawking and gossiping like girls all day or are you going to come and do something manly like helping us with the engine?"

I looked at Jasper and got a shrug so we went to join them. "Hello, love, how are you?" I looked into Bella's lovely face and saw no sadness in her eyes. I wanted to shout with joy that my Bella was back but I refrained, not wanting to make her think about the last few days again. That would happen soon enough as the others were set to arrive within the hour.

Bella smiled at me, a radiant smile that illuminated her whole face. I couldn't resist the beauty of that smile and captured her upturned lips with mine. She pulled back with a breathless laugh. "I'm good, how about you? Maybe I should send you out hunting with Jasper more often if he brings you back in this kind of mood."

My lips traveled down her cheek and I nipped at her jaw. "He has nothing to do with my mood, it's all you."

"Good Lord, you two are sweet enough to give a girl a cavity. Are you always like this? Because I might have to go back to hanging out in my room if that's the case." I glanced over to see Rose's lips twitching, her crossed arms nothing but an act.

"Yes, we are," Bella answered for us, tugging my lips back to hers. Rose let loose a laugh then and turned back to the car.

"Jasper, since the lovebirds can't be bothered, can you lift the car?"

"No, no, I want to do it!" Bella pushed me away and lifted the car with one hand. I have to admit, it was strange to see her use her strength. I still thought of her as my fragile human, needing to be protected, not lifting cars with a single hand.

"I see how it is; you'd rather play with an inanimate object than your husband." I pretended to sulk but I was really glad she was spending time with Rosalie. At least I think I was.

"Actually I'd rather do both." To my surprise and delight her other hand shot out and dragged me to her, her lips meeting mine urgently. It had been five days since we'd made love, definitely a first for us since we'd become physical.

"Alright, you really are making me sick now and I'd rather not have Bella drop her car on me because she's distracted by you. Either take it back to your place or cut it out." Rose sounded irritated now. Bella pulled back and looked contrite.

"Sorry, Rose." She brushed me out of the way with a sway of her hips and turned back to the car.

"So, does anyone want to tell us what exactly happened while we were gone?" Jasper asked, gesturing between Bella and Rose. They exchanged glances before Rosalie turned back to the engine.

"We just talked. We agreed to disagree on certain issues and came to an understanding on some other ones." She leveled me with a look. "And don't you try getting in my head to find out specific details. If she doesn't tell you, you don't need to know. It's locked up and you're not getting at it." How well she knew me. Curiosity was eating at me but for the moment I was content to see the two of them being civil to one another. Whatever happened had obviously been good for both of them.

I raised my hands in surrender. "I'll leave your head alone; never know what I'm going to find in there." She smirked and sent me an image of Emmett doing some kind of strip tease. "You're evil, Rose, pure evil."

Bella giggled. "What did she show you?"

"Nearly naked Emmett."

Rose rolled her eyes. "Like you haven't seen that before."

"More than I ever wanted to. Doesn't mean I'm looking for more."

She snorted. "You know you want to. Emmett's gorgeous and then you get him naked with all those rippling muscles…" she broke off when Bella nearly dropped the car, she was laughing so hard that she forgot she was holding it. "You two are hopeless. Jasper, will you take over?"

Jasper went and grabbed the other side, still chuckling quietly to himself. Rose slid back under the car and started tinkering. I just watched Bella. The sparkle in her eye made me feel like the world had been righted again. "It's good to see you smiling again."

She walked over and wrapped her arms around me, placing her head against my chest. "It's good to be smiling again. I'm sorry I shut you out before."

I stroked her cheek. "You have nothing to be sorry about, love, you needed time. Anybody would. But promise me that you won't forget that I'm always here for you. I'm ready to listen whenever you need me."

She rubbed her cheek against my chest and I breathed in that lovely floral fragrance that was pure Bella. "I know. It was just something I needed to deal with alone. We've already talked it out but I needed to deal with how it made me feel." I nodded my understanding and kissed the top of her head. She pulled back and looked into my eyes. "I don't regret it, Edward, even though I feel guilty admitting that."

Jasper cleared his throat and we were jerked out of the little bubble we were in. I was rather amazed that Rosalie hadn't interjected a snide comment but I suspected that this had been one of the topics she and Bella had already discussed. "There's nothing wrong with feeling guilty, Bella, but don't hold on to that guilt. You made a choice and with choices come consequences. You deal with them and move on. For what it's worth, I would have made the same choice to be with Alice." Jasper gave Bella a small smile. Rose let out a tiny sigh from underneath the car but didn't say anything.

_They're all so content with what they have. Do I really make Emmett feel like I don't love him enough when I let it be known that I'm not happy? Why can't I just be like the rest of them? _Well apparently she and Bella had had quite a talk. _I'm going to try, for Emmett I'm going to try to be happier and to embrace this life I never wanted. I have it and it's time to try to enjoy it. _My jaw dropped open and Jasper raised a brow at me. I mouthed the word "later" to him and he nodded. Bella continued to astound me, if she could get _Rose _to open up to change, what else could she do? How did she do it? I pressed another kiss to her head and just silently adored her.

Jasper's head snapped up and his face lit up. "They're home." I listened but heard no car and picked up no new thoughts but somehow I knew Jasper was right. He felt Alice just as I felt Bella. Rosalie quickly slipped from underneath the car and scrubbed some oil off her perfect face with a red handkerchief and smoothed down her tousled blond hair. She looked anxious and excited, clearly looking forward to Emmett's return. Jasper carefully lowered the car and sped around to the front of the house to greet Alice. The rest of us followed behind. Bella had tensed up a bit in my arms and I knew she was thinking about where they were returning from.

"Bella, you don't have to hear about it."

She shook her head emphatically. "Yes, I do. Maybe not everything, but I do need to know."

I knew that but it didn't make me happy. I didn't want to see the light die out of her eyes again. I squeezed her to me. _We're baaaaaaaack!!!! _I chuckled at Emmett's mental greeting to me. Alice was anxious to see Jasper and Esme and Carlisle were just happy to be home. They hated the charades we were force to play and this was by far the worst they'd ever had to carry off. I wished we hadn't had to ask that of them.

Carlisle's Mercedes came around the bend and slowed to a graceful stop. Alice and Emmett were out of the car before it stopped moving, running into the arms of their loved ones. None of us were really used to being separated anymore. If we went off alone, it was usually as couples. Sometimes we hunted together, guys only, but that usually only lasted a day or two and we were within hours of one another. Across country was a wholly different thing.

Emmett swung Rosalie around and she tilted her head back and let her hair flow behind her. Alice pulled back from Jasper and just stared into his eyes, the two of them engaging in that silent communication they seemed to have perfected. Esme and Carlisle alighted from the car and walked over to Bella and me.

"Bella, how are you?" Concern laced Esme's tone. I released my hold on her and Bella immediately nuzzled into Esme's waiting arms. Esme stroked her hair gently and swayed her from side to side. I looked at Carlisle, who smiled fondly at the sight of his wife and Bella.

"I'm fine." Bella smiled up at her and then rested her head on Esme's shoulder. Carlisle glanced at me for confirmation and I nodded, for she was doing well all things considered and today she was immeasurably better.

Emmett broke away from Rose for a minute and pressed a kiss to Bella's cheek. "I'm glad you're doing well, little sis. I missed you." Bella released Esme and gave Emmett a hug. He squeezed her back but refrained from swinging her around, perhaps not wanting to show joy when he wasn't sure how she was really doing. "We'll catch up soon but for now…" he broke off and looked at Rose. "I need some quality time with my woman." Bella let out a peel of laughter and pushed him toward Rose.

"Go." He didn't need any more encouragement, scooping Rose up and racing inside. Clearly, we wouldn't be seeing them for awhile.

Alice danced over to Bella and gave her a hug. "I missed you, too."

Bella squeezed her tightly. "Same goes, Alice, same goes. I know you want your quality time with Jasper. We'll talk later." Jasper gave Bella a grateful bow and took Alice into the house as well.

Carlisle smiled ruefully. "Well I think we'll leave the house to them for awhile. Can we go to your place?"

Bella took my hand and nodded. "Of course." We filed into our house and went to the library, Esme and Carlisle seated on the sofa and Bella sat on my lap in the recliner. I wrapped my arms around her and held on tightly. I didn't know what this conversation would do to her.

Esme glanced around and smiled. "I love this room, it's so cozy." It was, both of us considered the library to be our favorite room in the house and we spent the majority of our time there, well, when we weren't in the bedroom that is.

Bella took a deep breath. "How are they?"

Esme's face fell and Carlisle took her hand. "They're doing as well as can be expected, Bella. The first day was very difficult, as I'm sure you know." He watched as she nodded in the affirmative. "When we got back to Forks, Billy was already there waiting for us. He hasn't left your father's side as far as I could tell. They took your father back to La Push for a few days."

Bella pressed back into me and I tightened my grip on her, giving her all the support I could. "That's good."

Esme scooted closer to our chair and took Bella's hand in her free one. "Your mother helped him a lot as well. She told a lot of stories about you growing up and even made Charlie smile and laugh a time or two. She was a rock, Bella." That didn't surprise me. Renee may be flighty and inappropriate but she was a strong person.

Carlisle smiled sadly. "I don't know if it helps or hurts you to tell you this but she's pregnant. She doesn't know it yet but Alice saw it the instant she stepped into the room." Bella would have a half sibling that she'd never know. I looked at her face and was surprised to see a smile there.

"It does help, Carlisle. That will help get my mother through. But Charlie…"

"Billy told me to tell you that they would take care of Charlie."

Bella's mouth dropped open. "Billy asked you to give me a message?"

"He doesn't hate you, Bella. He doesn't approve of your choice but he actually does respect it, in a way. He was happy to hear that you had adapted to our lifestyle so well and that you were not harming humans. Though I wouldn't go so far as to say he was proud of you, he was more open to your change than I expected." Carlisle's words were like a balm to my Bella; her eyes had started to shine again.

"How were the wolves?" I had to ask, though I suspected I knew the answer.

Carlisle sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Guardedly hostile. Sam let it be known that we were welcome this time only and not to return to Forks. You, in particular, are persona non grata." His amber eyes met mine. "The rest of us could probably return someday but I have a feeling you'll be part of their lore forever." I expected as much. _He had some very harsh words for Bella. I don't see any reason to recount them in front of her. _He gave me the memory and I tried to bite back the rage I felt at Sam's description of the love of my life. "_Monster, filthy bloodsucker, tease, leech, whore…" _I let go of Bella's waist and gripped the side of the recliner, holding myself in place. It was a good thing we were nowhere near La Push because if I was within 500 miles I would have gone and torn him apart. But here and now I had to stay calm and not let Bella know what Sam had said. She was what was important.

Carlisle watched me warily and I gave him a shake of the head, telling him to go on without speaking. I didn't think I was capable of doing so at that moment. "Your friend, Angela, was there, Bella."

"How was she?"

Esme smiled. "She was fine, such a lovely girl. She had nothing but kind words to say about you and Edward and she was glad that you two were together in the afterlife." That sounded like Angela, she was such a sweet girl, the one friend of Bella's that was worthy of her.

Carlisle grinned. "Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley were there too." Bella rolled her eyes at those two names. "Mike told everyone about how close you two were and said that if he'd had more time, you would have been with him and not Edward." I growled and Bella giggled and turned to kiss my cheek. Would I ever escape that nuisance? "Jessica, meanwhile, told everyone that you and she had several moments" he put used air quotes to emphasize his point, "before and after your relationship with Bella." Now it was her turn to growl while I laughed loudly at the thought of Jessica and me ever having a "moment". I knew what Carlisle was doing, of course, distracting me from Sam's comments and making Bella smile. I appreciated it even though I would never forget the vile things he'd said about her.

Bella bit her lip. "Was Jacob there?" Her voice was tentative, as if she was afraid of the answer.

Carlisle sighed. "No. He felt he'd done enough coming across country. He said…" he broke off and looked to Bella to see if she wanted him to continue. She did. "He said he'd participated in the farce far more than he was willing and he wasn't going to mourn you, he'd done enough of that already." Bella's head fell forward and she closed her eyes for a moment and then she opened them and nodded.

"I didn't really expect anything else." Nor had I but I didn't figure I should agree with that now.

Esme squeezed Bella's hand again. "The service was lovely and you have side by side headstones at the Forks Cemetery. I don't know if you really wanted to know that but I think it's good that Charlie has a place to go when he wants to be near you."

Bella smiled gently. "Yes, that actually is comforting."

"And Bella, Jasper's man called me. They found a policeman in Seattle who was more than willing to relocate his family to Forks. He wanted to get out of the city. We've already arranged for him to get a job on the police force and he's got a house one street over from Charlie's. He's going to keep an eye on your father for us." I put my arms back around Bella, hoping that this news would give her some comfort.

Her smile shook and then solidified. "That's good, that he'll be working with Charlie and be nearby. He'll let us know if Charlie's not doing well?"

Carlisle nodded. "He's going to send us weekly reports through Jenks. I know it's not the same as seeing him and talking to him but I promise you he will be looked after."

She got off my lap and gave Carlisle a hug. "Thank you. I know it can't have been easy for you to go and pretend we were dead and deal with angry wolves, but I thank you for looking out for my father."

Carlisle held her tightly. "You're part of our family and your family is our family. We will always look out for Charlie and Renee and your future sibling, I promise."

"It means the world to me to hear that." She curled into his arms and Carlisle looked both surprised and pleased to cuddle her on his lap. She needed a father right now and he was fitting the bill. I was never more grateful for him than I was in that moment. He held her for awhile while we talked about inconsequential things, work he needed to catch up on at the hospital, my hunting trip with Jasper. I mentioned Bella's bonding with Rose and Carlisle looked as floored by it as I was. Esme just smiled happily, thrilled that her family was all getting along, at least for now.

Eventually Bella shifted, gave Carlisle another hug and got up and sat on my lap again. Taking that as their cue, he and Esme took their leave, giving us both a hug a goodbye. I cradled Bella in my arms. "Are you doing okay, love?"

She turned to face me and gave me a gentle kiss. "I really am. It wasn't easy to hear about our funeral but knowing that Charlie's being looked out for and that Renee's going to have a baby makes me feel better."

"I'm glad, love." She rested her head on my shoulder and we sat in contentment for awhile, until she started pressing soft kisses to my neck. I shifted underneath her. "If you're not trying to start something, perhaps you should stop kissing me like that." She kept right on kissing me. "Should I take that to mean that you are starting something?"

She nodded. "It's been too long." I scooped her up and carried her into our bedroom, shedding both our clothes along the way.

"Far too long." I laid her on the bed and lowered myself over her, kissing her passionately. I slid into her and we felt truly complete again for the first time since we went to Maine. We made love for hours, lost in one another and solid again.

**BPOV**

After a night spent loving and reconnecting with one another, Edward and I were ready to go see the rest of the family again. I couldn't believe how quiet it had been around here without Alice and Emmett's ever present energy. I'd missed them all but those two especially. We showered and got dressed after some more water games and headed over to the main house. There was a package sitting on the front stoop and Edward smirked as he picked it up.

"What is that?"

He chuckled. "It's for Emmett, you'll see soon enough." Mystified I followed him into the house, where Jasper and Emmett were engaged in an epic battle of Halo while Alice sat at her sewing machine concocting some new outfit. Hopefully it wasn't for me. Rosalie was flipping through a car magazine while Esme and Carlisle read books. It was so wonderful to be together again, it just felt right now, when the unit was whole. Rose looked up and gave me a tentative smile so I gave her a big grin and a wave back. I didn't want to revert to awkwardness around her. We'd both said our piece and we were trying to respect one another's views.

Alice bounded over and threw her arms around me. "Bella! Good morning, sorry we didn't get to spend any time together yesterday but I needed some time with my Jazzy." I hugged her and tried to force images of chains and cuffs out of my head when thinking about the two of them together. There were just some things I didn't want to know.

"No problem, Alice, I know how it is."

She giggled and nudged me. "I just bet you do." I sighed; nothing could remain sacred in this family.

Edward interrupted my ruminations. "Hey, Em, there was a box outside for you."

Emmett's entire face lit up as he paused the game and raced to snatch his present out of Edward's hands. Alice tittered quietly next to me.

"What is it? I didn't order anything!" Rather than wait for an answer, Emmett tore into the box, not bothering to undo the tape, just ripping it right open. Something small fell out and he caught it before it could hit the floor. He sucked in a deep breath and turned to face our tiny sister, a look of rage on his face. He'd never looked scarier or more like a vampire in that moment and I instinctively stepped back. "How could you?"

Alice was nonplussed, smiling sweetly instead of cowering under his hulking form. "It was rather easy, actually, the limbs pop right off, don't even need to have vampire strength to do it." Limbs? What in the world were they talking about? I looked at what Emmett was clutching in his hand and saw that it was a tiny doll's leg with a little Nike shoe on the foot. Oh no, it was Emmett Junior.

"You killed Emmett Junior!!!" He was shouting now, his voice shaking the room. The TV rattled precariously and Jasper ran over to save it. Edward smoothly reached over and pulled me away from Alice's side, in case Emmett's anger turned physical I guess.

Alice was wholly unconcerned about the menacing figure looming over her. "I told you I'd get back at you."

"Where is the rest of his body, Alice? I want him back together right now!"

"I'm afraid that would be impossible. He's scattered here, there and everywhere. I might have forgotten where I put a piece or two."

"You don't forget anything, Alice!" He roared. I was starting to worry that he'd pop a blood vessel he was so angry, though I guess that wouldn't hurt him come to think of it. "I want my son back together now or…" he glanced around the room and his eyes lit with glee as they focused on her sewing machine. Before he could get to it though, Alice grabbed it and placed it in Jasper's hands. "Damn it." He started to look for something else to threaten her with when Rosalie stepped in front of him. Up until now she'd been silently watching the exchange.

"What do you mean, _your son_?" If Emmett's screaming was scary, Rosalie's icy tone was petrifying. I glanced at Edward who couldn't conceal his smile. Everyone in the family seemed to be interested in the drama, even Esme and Carlisle watched with avid interest.

Emmett's scowling face quickly morphed into one of remorse and fear. "I didn't mean anything, Rosie. Let's just forget all about it." He tried to take her arm but she yanked it away.

"Don't you Rosie me, Emmett, you tell me what you're talking about right now!" Her voice was a menacing hiss. Alice giggled, pleased with Rose taking Emmett's attention away from her. Emmett glanced anxiously around the room, looking for an out but not finding one.

His shoulders slumped, Emmett told her the truth. "When I was training Bella on her strength control, I used animatronic baby dolls that looked like us for her to try to catch." Rose just raised an eyebrow. "She killed all of them except for Emmett Junior. He looked just like me and I liked him so I kept him. Now Alice destroyed him."

Rose's lips twitched but Emmett missed it since he was looking down. She quickly schooled her face into a mask of anger when he looked up at her. "And you kept it from me why?"

He scuffed his feet at the ground, looking like a child being chastised. "Come on, Rosie, you know how you feel about kids and babies. I thought if you saw a doll that looked like me, it would make you angry. Or even worse than that, hurt."

Rosalie blinked in surprise and reached a hand out to take his. "Emmett, I didn't mean to make you feel that way." She glanced over at me and looked back at him. "I know I've said a lot of things that made you feel like you weren't enough for me and I'm sorry for that. You are truly all that I need. I might want more sometimes but that doesn't mean you're not enough for me."

So much emotion filtered over Emmett's face at her words that I wanted to cry. He lifted a hand to her cheek and touched it softly, as if he was afraid she might shatter at his touch. "Do you mean that?"

Rose's hand joined his on her cheek. "I do. I never knew what my dissatisfaction with this life did to you until someone pointed it out to me." She shot me a smile. "And it made me realize that even though I want a family and children, I really wouldn't want it without you. You're my counterpart, Emmett." His lips met hers then and I was pretty sure they'd forgotten the rest of us were in the room.

Edward drew me to the couch and I curled up against him. I was so happy to see Emmett and Rosalie having a moment like that. They pulled apart and just grinned at each other happily.

"Well then, now that that's settled," Alice clapped her hands and went over to Jasper to reclaim her sewing machine.

"Not so fast, Alice. Now that Rose knows about the doll, I can put him back together and keep him here. Please give me the pieces."

Her little face scrunched up and she shook her head emphatically. "No, I don't think so. You embarrassed me and Jasper."

"Oh, come on! I had to think quickly." A look of horror crossed Alice's face and Edward's body tensed next to me. She tried to speak but Emmett talked over her. "Bella needed a logical explanation for the key. I couldn't tell her about what Renee said! And it's not like you and Jasper don't get a little freaky either!" All eyes in the room flew to me.

My mother? What did she have to do with anything? And Emmett lied to me? "What do you mean, what Renee said?"

"Uh…" Emmett looked around the room but wasn't getting any help from the rest of our family. "I don't know what I mean, you know me, I say random things all the time."

"You lied about Alice and Jasper and the chains? Why would you do that?"

"I don't know that I lied, exactly…"

"You just didn't tell the truth."

He frowned. "What is the truth really? Aren't there degrees of honesty? As I said, Alice and Jasper are a little kinky so it's entirely possible that…"

"That you lied to me." I couldn't believe he'd lied and they'd all known about it. I was angry and hurt and left out once again.

"I didn't want to lie, it was just better than the alternative."

"What alternative?" I crossed my arms and glared at him, anger winning out over hurt since he was still stalling.

"You may as well tell her, Emmett, there's no getting out of it now." Alice eyed me anxiously, no doubt having seen my reaction to whatever was coming.

"I don't want to." Emmett met my crossed arms with crossed arms of his own. I saw everyone wearing similar masks of nervousness and concern, including Edward. The fact that he knew what they were keeping from me was the last straw.

"Damn it, Emmett, _tell me now_!" I shouted at him with my mouth and with my mind, tired of the deception.

"Fine! Your mother told Edward at your wedding reception that the clitoris was the key to making you have a good time, sexually if you get what I'm saying?" My jaw fell open. Renee had done that? I was mortified. I couldn't even call to yell at her now because she thought I was dead. That made me angrier, not having an outlet. "Anyway, we all heard it because, you know, vampire hearing, and I made up a song about the clitoris being the key. You may have heard me sort of singing it?"

Singing? The only thing he'd ever sung around me was…"The Farmer In the Dell? You turned a children's song into a sexual one? That's sick, Emmett."

He threw up his hands in frustration. "It's not sick! It's hilarious! Did you see Edward's face anytime we brought up the key in front of him? He was embarrassed as hell! It was great, we don't often get to make fun of him since he can see what's coming but with you around, all we had to do was bring up the key. It was perfection!"

I didn't know what to say or do. I'd begun shaking, whether out of anger or embarrassment I couldn't say because both were flowing through me in astounding amounts. And laced with that was betrayal. How could Edward do this to me? How could he let them make fun of me time and time again? I yanked myself out of his hold and stood.

"So every time the word key came up, every time you laughed about it, you were laughing at me?"

Emmett watched me warily. "I wouldn't say we were laughing at you, more like with you?"

"Except that I wasn't laughing, was I? Because I was the only one out of all of you not in on the joke!"

"Well no, but…"

"And that's why you gave me the self-help book with key in the title?"

"Well yes, but…"

"And that's why you were so amused when I asked Edward to help me find my key?" Oh the humiliation, putting that conversation in this new light…I wanted to die all over again.

"Yes." He stopped trying to get another word in because I wasn't going to let him.

"And that's why you had such a fine laugh over the bellybutton ring, when I said Alice found it for me?"

"Yes."

I turned to Alice then. "And you picked it out especially because it would bring a few laughs to the rest of the family?"

"Well partially, but I really thought it would be cute on you!"

"But you had me wear it the other day specifically to make everyone laugh. At me."

Her eyes flashed with sadness. "Not at you, Bella, never at you. We just wanted to have a little fun."

"Yes, well, I'm glad I could provide you all with some amusement." I had to get out of there before I said or did anything I might regret later.

"Love, I'm sorry, I should have…" Finally he spoke. He couldn't be bothered before now. I refused to look into that handsome face, knowing that what I saw there might weaken the anger that I was more than entitled to feel right now.

"Yes, Edward, you should have! I don't want to hear it right now. How could you do that to me?"

"Bella, I just didn't want to embarrass you, I never thought…" I could hear the regret in his tone but it wasn't enough right now.

"No, you quite obviously did not think! You just sat back and let them laugh at me. Oh you made a token protest here or there but I remember your lips twitching. You were laughing along with them!"

He took a step towards me and I stepped away. I was not going to let him touch me right now. He didn't get to work his magic on me. I felt a wave of calming come from Jasper's direction and I cut him off with a glance.

"Don't you dare! I'm allowed to be upset right now, Jasper! You don't get to take it away from me." I felt the calm still pushing at me, he wasn't listening. "_Do not use your power on me, Jasper Hale_!" He backed off then, a look of surprise on his face.

I looked at Esme, who was regarding me sadly and Carlisle looked on in confusion. "You knew too?"

They both nodded. "I figured as much. I'm going to go now." I looked at Edward finally, his expression was pained; he looked like he was being burned alive. A part of me wanted to go to him but I steeled that. "_Don't you dare follow me."_ I took a step toward the door and nearly laughed at myself when I realized that I was wearing the ridiculous key bellybutton ring. Oh the irony. I yanked it out and threw it at Emmett. He caught it deftly out of the air. "Since you're so fascinated with my key, why don't you go ahead and keep that one?"

He shook his head. "Bella."

"Better yet, go ahead and swallow it. That way it will always be with you." He stared at me blankly. "You heard me, _swallow it." _ I didn't really expect him to do it but he did, opening his mouth and dropping the key into it. That was weird. I turned my attention to Edward again. "I mean it, _don't follow me."_

I marched back to my home, going automatically to the library. There, the stupid key book from Emmett caught my eye and I hurled it into the fireplace, lighting it and the logs on fire. I glanced around the room angrily, looking for other things to destroy but I didn't want to damage any real books. My eyes fell on a wedding photo of Edward and me and I started to grab it but stopped. I was mad at him, completely hurt by him, but I couldn't destroy our wedding pictures. What could I do to hurt him like he'd hurt me? I glanced into the family room and saw the piano. I could smash it. It would be so easy. There was nothing he loved more than that piano other than me, if he even really loved me at all.

No, that wasn't right. I knew he loved me, I just couldn't understand why he'd let them make fun of me for months. I threw myself down onto the couch and watched the fire burn. I heard movement at the front door then, disturbing my destructive contemplation. "I thought I told you to leave me alone!"

"You told Edward to leave you alone and he did. I'm here to talk to you." Rose swept into the room, regarding me warily.

"What could you possibly have to say to me? Up until a day ago you hated me beyond belief. I'm sure you enjoyed the hell out of making fun of me."

Rose perched on the end of the couch and shrugged. "It was fun; I'm not going to deny it."

I sighed. "Why are you here, Rose? What could you possibly have to say to make things better?"

"I shouldn't have to say anything, if you'd stop being over emotional you would see what that really was back there."

"What do you mean?"

"Bella, do you think they would have bothered making fun of you like that if you weren't part of the family?"

"Yes."

She rolled her eyes. "Really?"

"Emmett makes fun of everyone."

She laughed. "Yes, but does he do it repeatedly?"

"How do I know, I haven't been around that long."

She smiled triumphantly. "Yes, exactly, and that's why you need to listen to me."

"Go on."

"Like it or not, this is how this family works. We are together all the time. We know each other as well as superhumanly possible. Even more so with Alice and Edward in the bunch." I flinched at the mention of his name. She narrowed her eyes at me. "That's what has you most upset, isn't it? Edward's part in all this?"

I nodded and she went on. "Bella, you fool, don't you realize he's been protecting you all this time? I mean, you know him, right? Edward Cullen, the guy who saved you from being crushed by a van, the guy who kept you from being murdered in Port Angeles and Phoenix. The guy you married? Overprotective may as well be his middle name."

"Yeah, so?"

"So, do you think he wanted you to know what your mother said to him? Do you think he didn't know just how humiliated you would be if you knew that she told him how to please you sexually and our entire family heard it? Could you honestly have faced us then, especially your human self? You'd have been the color of a cherry tomato every time you were around us." This was true, I would have been mortified.

"But I'm still humiliated now."

"And if it were up to Edward, you'd never know. Not because he enjoyed us making fun of you, but because he wanted to keep you from being hurt. You know how he is, Bella." I shrugged. I did know but that didn't make it any easier to swallow.

"Besides, we weren't really making fun of you; we were making fun of him."

"How so?"

"Do you know how hard it is to get something over on a mind reader? Of course you don't, he can't read you! But the rest of us can't keep anything from him, so for us to finally have something we could tease him about; something he couldn't stop us from using against him was great."

I bit my lip as I contemplated what she'd said. "So really you were making fun of both of us?"

She laughed. "Duh."

"He still should have told me."

"Maybe he should have, but you should have told him how you were feeling about your fake death, shouldn't you?" I glared at her. "We all keep things from our spouses, Bella, particularly things that would hurt them. You helped me see that I was hurting Emmett by not keeping certain things from him, so why can't you see why Edward would do that for you?"

"I know, I know. You're right. And I know he wasn't trying to hurt me. Edward would never hurt me on purpose. It's just that I was embarrassed. I still am!"

"We all get embarrassed in this family, it's part of the package you signed on for. You know what's great about it though?"

"What?"

"You have endless amounts of time to get back at them; an eternity to plot and plan and compile things to blackmail them with."

That was fun. I smiled at her. "You do have a point."

"Of course I do." She smiled triumphantly and got to her feet. "You already made a good start. Every single one of them is sulking over at the house, feeling terrible about making fun of you."

"Maybe I'll let them suffer for awhile." Rose grinned in approval.

"It's the least they deserve. Except for…" Edward. Even though it hurt me terribly that he'd kept something like that from me, I really couldn't blame him. If the situation were reversed, I would have done the same.

"Thanks for coming to talk to me, Rose. You helped, a lot."

"Just returning the favor. I haven't seen Emmett smile at me like he did in that living room for a long time."

"I can't believe he swallowed that key."

Rose frowned. "Me either, you must really have him feeling bad. I'll go see if he's coughed it up yet."

She headed toward the front door. "Could you tell Edward to come home?"

She nodded. "Sure. Don't be too hard on him but don't be too easy either. You're the only one who can keep things from him, so make it count!" I laughed and watched her go then returned to the living room to wait anxiously for my husband to arrive.

* * *

**A/N Voting has begun on the Indies and Sacrificial Lamb is nominated for Canon or AU Story That Knocks You Off Your Feet. Thanks so much for those of you who nominated me and I'd love it if you voted! You can vote at www (dot) theindietwificawards (dot) com (slash) vote (dot) aspx. Thank you all for your support for this story, I never thought I'd have this many readers and every day I seem to get more. I appreciate you all more than you could know!**

**Speaking of that, I saw out there in fandom that 2/28 is reader appreciation day and we're supposed to show our appreciation by updating for you that day. Since it's the day after a usual update, I wondered if you wanted me to hold off for a day or just appreciate you by keeping with my schedule? I know I hate waiting for things but I'll do whatever you guys want, so tell me in reviews :)**

**The Boat Outtake is up on my profile under Outtakes and the funeral is written and after a little tweaking by the betas and myself I hope to post it Monday or Tuesday. When this story is over I'll add all the outtakes at the end but don't want my numbering to get off so we're doing it this way for now. Remember, if there's anything you want to see, let me know. I do plan on a few more from earlier chapters when all is said and done. More Renee! :)  
**


	35. Chapter 35

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 35

EPOV

I watched helplessly as Bella stormed out of the room. I wanted to go after her but I knew she needed time. Every word she'd said had been dead on. It would have been better if I'd have just told her what Renee said in the beginning. She'd have been embarrassed but she would have gotten over it eventually. Right now she felt betrayed and that was my fault. I slumped back into the couch and buried my face in my hands.

"Man, don't you think you should go after her? Usually when they storm off like that they want you to follow after them and start groveling." I rolled my eyes at Emmett's rather unhelpful advice. When Bella said she wanted to be alone, she meant it.

Rosalie unfolded herself from her seat. "I'll go talk to her." Getting used to this new dynamic wherein Rose and Bella would not only tolerate one another but actually sit down and have important discussions was going to take some getting used to.

"Rosie, maybe you'd better let her…"

"Emmett, of all of us, I'm the one she expects to have made fun of her. She won't hold it against me the way she does the rest of you." I sighed knowing she was right. The rest of us were close to her and we'd shut her out.

Rose left and the rest of us sat in silent for a few moments before Alice couldn't stand it anymore. Her mind was whirling with anger at herself. "I'm a terrible best friend and sister. I never should have gotten her that bellybutton ring. I laughed when I picked it out!"

Emmett sighed and flopped down in the chair Rose had vacated. "We were just having fun, Alice. I think once she cools down, Bella will realize it's funny."

I ran a hand through my hair. "She'll forgive you guys." Bella had a forgiving heart. "It's me that she'll have a hard time with."

Esme moved over to sit next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. "She'll forgive you, Edward. She loves you."

"Yeah, she's forgiven you for way worse…" Emmett's voice broke off at my wince. He was right though, I'd done the unforgivable and lied to her and broken her heart and still she'd taken me back. Surely she'd forgive this.

I could hear Bella and Rose start talking but I did my best to tune them out. It wasn't fair to listen to her; she'd say what she needed to say to me when she was ready.

"Hey, Emmett, why in the heck did you swallow that key anyway?" Alice had asked a darn good question. In the heat of the moment I hadn't really thought about it.

Emmett looked as mystified as the rest of us, shrugging his giant shoulders. "I don't really know, it was instinctual or something? She told me to and I did? Maybe I subconsciously wanted to do whatever I could in that moment to make it up to her." It was as good an explanation as any I supposed.

Carlisle shook his head. "That's not going to feel good coming back up."

"No, it isn't, but I deserve it." He looked at me sadly. "I never wanted to hurt her, Edward. I was just having fun."

"I know." _It can't be, can it? She couldn't possibly; no it's definitely not that. Perhaps she really is a shield…_Jasper's thoughts broke off abruptly when he noticed me watching him. "What are you thinking, Jas?"

He looked uncomfortable as all attention in the room shifted to him. "I didn't stop using my power when she asked me to."

Carlisle leaned forward eagerly. "What do you mean?"

"When Bella yelled at me to stop using my power on her, I didn't want to and I wasn't going to."

Emmett laughed. "Well you must have because she was sure still mad."

"You think she blocked you?" I was fascinated. Had my Bella finally started to exhibit her power?

He shook his head. "I just don't know, all I know is she told me to stop and I did."

"Man, that's weird. But good for Little Sis, it's about time she made with the voodoo!"

"We still don't know exactly what she did and I doubt Bella has any idea either. Maybe I should call Eleazar. He couldn't get a read on her when she was human but maybe now that's not, he'll be able to tell us exactly what her power is." Carlisle pulled out his cell phone.

"They'll come. They're actually not too far away. It seems that Kate met someone and they wanted to go to Washington DC to soak up some history. They were already planning on stopping in for a visit." Alice piped up, a smile on her face.

Carlisle made the call and our cousins decided to head north, minus Kate and her new mate, Garrett. I sighed, wishing Tanya would stay behind with them. Bella was irritated enough without her presence. "Alice?"

She closed her eyes and peered ahead but neither of us saw much in her visions. "It seems Tanya hasn't made up her mind whether to cause trouble or not."

"Great." Maybe, if Bella was speaking to me when they arrived, she and I could take off for awhile.

Alice giggled. "I don't see that happening." Of course not.

Emmett grinned. "Maybe she'll hit on you and Bella will fry her!" Despite all evidence to the contrary, Em was clearly still holding out hope that Bella had an offensive power.

Jasper still looked troubled but before I could inquire any further, Rose strolled back into the room, a satisfied smile stretching across her face. "You're allowed to go home, brother dear. That's as much as I could do for you. The rest is up to you." I was on my feet instantly, heading to Bella without a backward glance. I heard Jasper and Emmett start taking bets but I wasn't interested in the terms or the stakes. All I wanted was to be with my wife.

I found her where I usually did, sitting in front of the fireplace in the library, watching the flames lick at the logs. She didn't turn her head to look at me when I came in and I wasn't sure I was welcome next to her so I took a seat in the recliner. We probably only sat in silence for two minutes but it felt like two decades to me.

She finally turned her head and looked at me and I studied her lovely face in the firelight. Several months ago, she'd have had tears streaking down her face or color staining her cheeks and I would have known exactly what she was feeling. Now her expression was impassive and her mind was silent. I could only speculate on her thoughts. It was so frustrating.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know I should have told you sooner but…" She held up a hand and I trailed off uncertainly.

"You weren't making fun of me?" It was a question more than a statement and I saw a glimpse of that unsure girl I knew back in Forks, the one that doubted that I could possibly love her like she loved me. I hated myself for putting that uncertainty back in her head. I was next to her on the couch in an instant, gripping both her hands in mine, letting her feel our electricity in my touch.

"No, love, no. I would never make fun of you!"

"But you laughed sometimes."

I sighed and nodded. "I couldn't always help it. You'd innocently respond to a key comment and it could be construed in an entirely different way."

She groaned and tried to tug her hands free from mine, no doubt to try to hide her face from me. I held firm and though she could have broken my hold on her, she refrained. "The things I said! I said Alice found the key for me!" That was the one that had actually set me off but this time I didn't laugh. She frowned. "Didn't I say something about you finding my key before our first date? When we got back from our honeymoon?"

"Yes, love."

She narrowed her honey eyes at me. "Did they hide my keys on purpose to make that happen?"

"Well, yeah." I didn't know what to say or do, was she going to go off again?

"Emmett is a dead man. I'll help Alice scatter Emmett Junior all over North America. He'll never find the pieces." I let out a relieved laugh; her ire wasn't directed at me at the moment.

"We went at it over that one, let me tell you."

She nodded. "I heard a loud crash as I drove away. That was you I take it?"

"It was. I fought with both Emmett and Jasper."

She smiled. "Did you win?"

"I took Emmett. Jasper & I were a draw, as usual."

"Well at least you got one of them back."

"I'll go fight them both now if it'll make things better."

She shook her head ruefully. "That's not necessary. They were having fun, I can't really blame them."

I hung my head. "You can blame me though."

She pulled her hands free then and ran one through my hair. "No, I don't blame you." I jerked my head up in surprise, looking into her eyes and seeing that she meant it. "Rose pointed out that you were trying to protect my feelings."

_Thank God for Rosalie_. Did I really just think that? I didn't feel that way often but I would be forever grateful that she'd gotten through to Bella. "I was. Bella, you know I'd never let anything hurt you, not on purpose. I knew having my whole family hear something so private would really embarrass you. So I didn't tell you."

"But you did sort of warn me, when I asked about it that night in the meadow."

"I told you that you didn't really want to hear it."

"And you were right, I wouldn't have. There's no way I could have made love to you that night if I'd had my mother's words in my head like that. The fact that you could…"

"Speaks volumes to the love I feel for you." I stroked a hand along her jaw and she closed her eyes, absorbing my touch. I was so thankful that she wasn't pulling away. I debated saying it but Bella seemed to be okay with my words so far. "Plus, she was right."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

I gave her my half grin that always made her melt. "I took your mother's advice that night and well…it worked."

Bella gaped at me for a few minutes and then let out a peal of laughter, followed by torrents of giggles. I joined her in her merriment, thrilled that I had her laughing.

When she'd finally calmed, she took a few deep breaths. "Yes, it certainly did. I hope you don't hear my mother's voice when we make love now."

I leaned forward and kissed her softly, her lips were responsive under mine. "No, I only hear you and me when we make love. I'm not nervous anymore."

"I'm glad."

"As am I, love." I tried to kiss her again, hoping to show her the truth in my words but she put a palm against my chest and pushed me back. I frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, but there's something else I need to say." It'd been too easy, even someone as forgiving as Bella wouldn't crumble that quickly.

"Okay, what is it?"

"You promised never to keep anything from me again." She was right, I had and I'd broken that promise. "I told you that even if you felt you were protecting me, you couldn't keep things from me, remember?" I looked down at my lap, ashamed to meet her gaze.

"Yes. I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to break that promise. I really thought I was doing what was best."

She put one of her little fingers under my chin and raised my eyes to hers. "I'm going to ask you to make that promise again and this time, no matter what you think you're protecting me from, you keep it." Was it really that simple? She was truly an angel and I never deserved her.

I met her gaze and said the words she wanted and I truly meant them. "I promise I will never keep anything from you again."

Her smile reached her eyes this time. "Then I accept your apology." She kissed me then, a real kiss filled with love and forgiveness. I got lost in it as I tended to do whenever she touched me. I was so lost, in fact, that it took me several seconds to notice that neither one of us were clothed anymore. Bella was in my lap, straddling me and I was inside of her and moving without realizing it.

Her porcelain skin was illuminated in the firelight as she threw her head back and rode me. I pressed my lips to that graceful neck as my hands cupped her breasts. "Edward," she whispered in a throaty moan.

"Yes, love?"

"I think you need to use the key. Now." I laughed and hurried to comply, pressing my fingers to her sensitive spot. Her moans became louder and she moved faster, her hips rolling against mine. I sped up my fingers and she began to thrash against me, her thighs slamming into mine. She tightened around me and I came with her. She collapsed against me and pressed her head to my shoulder, our naked bodies still intertwined.

"Maybe we should fight more often." Bella suggested with a giggle, kissing my neck.

"Maybe we should skip the fighting and just make love instead."

She tilted her head back and smiled lazily. "That's a better plan."

"I thought so."

"Edward?" She murmured my name into my neck.

"Yes, love?"

"I'm kind of glad that I know the key story now."

"Why is that?"

"It makes me feel a little bit like my mother is still with me."

I ran my fingers though her hair. "She'll always be with you, Bella."

"I know but it's not the same. I wish I could pick up the phone and have her badger me about our sex lives again. It made me uncomfortable but still, it was just Renee, you know?"

"I know exactly what you mean. I can't hear the word key anymore without my mind going instantly to that discussion and then to you."

She giggled, the vibration tickling my neck and making my body begin to hum for her again. "You better stop that, sweetheart. We don't have time for another round."

She pulled back and frowned at me. "Why not?"

I sighed, hating to break the peace that had just settled back over us. "Carmen, Eleazar & Tanya should be here shortly."

The frown deepened. "Why?"

I ran my thumb over her cheek and traced her jaw bone. She arched against me and I bit back a groan as my body responded to the movement. "Carlisle called them. We think it's time to find out about your power."

She huffed and crossed her arms. "I don't have a power."

"Yes, you do. Jasper is convinced of it. You somehow were unaffected by his power tonight."

"I wasn't unaffected, I just was too mad for it to work."

"No, you told him to stop and he didn't but it didn't work on you anymore."

Her brow furrowed. "That's weird."

"Yes, it is. They were down in DC and thinking about coming to visit anyway."

"Yes, but Tanya?" Tanya's past crush on me still bothered Bella even though I'd never considered becoming involved with her. It astounded me that after all this time together she still doubted that she could be enough for me.

"We couldn't exactly forbid her from coming, could we?"

Her lip stuck out in an adorable pout that I had to capture with my own. "I suppose not" she murmured as I kissed her. She pulled back and climbed off my lap. I missed her presence immediately.

"Where are you going?"

"If I'm going to see _Tanya _and the others I need to clean up and hunt first."

"Would you like me to come with you?"

She shook her head. "I think I need a little more time to clear my head before I face the family."

"Are you sure we're okay?"

She smiled and ruffled my hair. Only Bella could get away with that. "Yes. I understand why you didn't tell me but from now on…"

"I tell you everything."

"Yes, you will."

"Can I at least shower with you?"

She bit her lip and stayed silent for several long moments. "I suppose." Tease. I scooped her up and carried her into the shower.

**BPOV**

After I showered and had a little more fun with Edward, I dressed in a white sleeveless dress that cut off at the knees and had a cute little belt around the middle. A glance at the label told me it was Prada and I shook my head. _Alice_. Still, I wanted to look good and the dress achieved that without looking like I'd gone to a lot of trouble. I darted into the woods and quickly caught the scent of a herd of deer. It wasn't exactly what I was in the mood for but it would suffice.

I took down two large bucks and drank my fill, then wandered to a nearby stream and walked into it until the water was up to my calves. I had probably overreacted about the key situation. Now that I'd had some time to think about it, it made sense that the others had enjoyed having something over on Edward. They didn't have the advantage of him being unable to read their minds like I did. I wasn't happy that they'd been making fun of us for months on end but if the situation were reversed I'd probably do the same thing. Given a few more years, I'd have things to tease them with as well. I looked forward to that immensely.

I climbed out of the water and prepared to head for home to see the Denali clan. Tanya. It was wrong to dislike her for having a crush on my husband. Who didn't? But she bothered me more than anybody else; probably because she'd known Edward for so long and because she was beautiful. She was nearly as beautiful as Rosalie was and that was intimidating. I was sure of Edward's love, finally, but that didn't stop me from being insecure sometimes. I knew he loved me, I just didn't understand why.

I wandered slowly back the way I came, not in a rush to get home. I'd be on display like one of Carlisle's science projects, everyone watching to see what power I had, the family tiptoeing around me because I had been so angry at them. It wasn't going to be fun. I leapt over a fallen tree trunk and sped up. The sooner I got there the sooner they'd be gone, hopefully. I ran up the gentle slope that led to home and then halted in my tracks.

Edward and Tanya were standing between the two houses, her hand on his shoulder and she was gesturing wildly. I narrowed my eyes and crept silently forward. I knew they couldn't smell me, I was downwind. I got a whiff of Tanya's scent and wrinkled my nose in disgust, she smelled like some kind of bad French perfume. Having that scent mix with the honey and sunshine that was my Edward had me seeing red again. Why couldn't I just be left alone today?

I stopped behind a tree just at the edge of our property, finally within earshot.

"So, where is your lovely wife, Edward? I'm dying to see Isabella post-transformation."

"She went on a quick hunt. She should be back shortly." I could hear the warmth in his voice as he talked about me and I felt a smile curve my lips.

"Is marriage everything you thought it would be?"

"No." My smile melted to a frown and I was about to run over and confront him. "It's better. Bella is my everything. Even though I've heard it in their minds and seen it, I never really knew how powerful love truly was." The smile was back at his sweet words. Was there ever a more perfect guy in the world? He was mine, all mine.

"I'm quite happy for you." Did he not hear the sarcasm in her tone?

Edward cocked his head to the side. "You don't sound it." Good, he did. She was so fake.

Tanya sighed and twirled her hair around her finger. She's flirting with him! I was seething as I watched her touch his arm again. "It's not that I'm not happy for you, it's just that now I'm the only one alone." She didn't want to be with anyone, she just wanted what she couldn't have. I truly loathed her.

"So you can't be happy for me and for your sister, that we finally found our other halves?" Good question, Edward.

"I guess I'm just jealous." Yes, you are. "It's been hard, watching Kate fall so hard and so fast."

"Is Garrett not a good guy?"

She laughed bitterly. "Oh but he is! He's an interesting fellow, fought in the Revolutionary War. He and Jasper should really get together."

"What about Irina?"

"Irina's been broken since your wife's wolves killed her mate. She's not any fun anymore." Oh sure, her sister's boyfriend gets killed and she's no fun anymore. Poor Tanya. I bristled at the mention of the wolves as well, _so_ sorry that they didn't just let him kill me, Tanya.

"They're not Bella's wolves anymore. And I can't apologize for their actions, I am grateful that they saved her."

"Well of course you are. I certainly wouldn't begrudge you your mate." Yes you would, could you be any less sincere? I watched the wind blow those strawberry blond curls that I hated. I remembered the day Edward told me about her and I freaked out over the fact that she was blond. Edward preferred brunettes though.

"I wonder where Bella could be?" Edward turned his head in my direction but I slipped behind the log before he could see me, at least I hoped so. It wouldn't do to be caught eavesdropping.

"I'm sure she'll be along soon enough. I'm amazed that she's had such an easy time with the change."

"That's just my Bella. She's remarkable." Pride shone in his voice. I wanted to run over and tackle him to the ground and have my way with him again.

"And is she taking care of all her wifely duties? Because I would be more than happy to step in if she's too busy with bloodlust to take care of the other kind." She ran her fingers along his forearm as she said this and I envisioned myself ripping that arm off her body and beating her with it.

Edward cleared his throat nervously and stepped out of her reach. "You don't need to worry about our sex life. I can assure you we're doing quite well without any assistance."

Her laugh peeled out, sounding to me like nails on a chalkboard. "Well you have my number should you ever get bored." _Bored? _Our being together would never be boring. How dare she?

"I think we should go inside." Edward's voice was filled with disgust and discomfort. That was the only thing keeping her alive at the moment, the fact that he was not remotely interested in what she was offering. He turned to the door and Tanya flashed a smile in my direction. _She knew I was here and she did that anyway? What an evil witch! _

I kicked a good sized rock and sliced a tree in half with it. The sound thrilled me and I proceeded to punch a few trees for good measure, knocking them all over. I stormed around the edge of the forest for a few minutes, trying to corral the anger that was rocketing through my body at Tanya's behavior. Why would she put on a show like that for me? Was she trying to make me jealous? We both knew Edward would never succumb to her advances so I couldn't understand what her purpose was.

I took several deep breaths and sought to find the calm that I'd found earlier. Edward was with me and he'd never leave me for Tanya or anyone else. I knew that and so did she. Clearly she just liked messing with people's minds, probably because she was alone and bored. I wasn't going to let her get the best of me. I squared my shoulders and marched toward the house, ready to face her and anything else coming my way.

Before going inside, I peered in the living room window to see what was going on. Emmett and Jasper were having another of their Halo tournaments. Rosalie was flipping through a magazine and Alice sat at her sewing table, cutting some fabric with her shears. Edward was on the couch and Tanya and the rest of her family were nowhere to be seen. I could hear them in the den with Carlisle and Esme. Good.

I went in the front door and every head turned my way when I walked in the living room. Edward smiled in relief while the rest of my family looked at me pensively. "There you are, love, did you have a good hunt?"

I went and sat next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. I didn't quite know how to answer that. The hunt had been fine, after had not. "It was okay."

Alice dropped her fabric and ran over to me. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to make fun of you, honestly. It was funny to us but we weren't trying to be mean."

"I know, Alice, it's fine." It was, really, I was just in a bad mood from seeing Tanya hitting on my husband and I really didn't feel like discussing the whole key thing. It was stupid and I was beyond it. Alice studied me carefully but didn't say anymore.

Emmett handed his controller to Jasper and scooted over to me slowly. "Do you forgive me? I didn't mean to make you sad." He looked like a dejected giant teddy bear and I didn't have the heart to make him suffer.

I sighed but ruffled his hair. "Yes, Emmett, I forgive you all." I looked around the room. "I'm sorry I didn't have a better sense of humor about it."

Emmett's sad face transformed into a giant grin and his dimples winked at me. "Don't worry; you'll gather ammunition to use against all of us over time."

I smiled at him. "Count on it."

Jasper eyed me. "If you're not still upset about the key, what are you upset about?" Why couldn't I block him the way I did Edward?

I shrugged. "It's nothing really, just a mood." Tanya chose that moment to come into the living room and I stiffened involuntarily.

"Why there you are Bella! I was anxious to see how you turned out." Her eyes traced up and down my form, taking all of me in. "You do make a lovely vampire, don't you?" There was a smugness to her tone and I knew she found me lacking compared to her. I didn't need Edward's mind reading ability to pick up on it though his eyes narrowed at her thoughts and I considered that confirmation of my suspicion.

"Edward certainly thinks so." Rosalie barked out a laugh at my response while annoyance flitted across Tanya's perfect face.

"They say love is blind. I guess _our_ Edward has been well and truly struck by it." She actually had the nerve to reach out and run her hand through his hair. _My hair._ _She touched him again._ That was not to be tolerated. Edward jerked his head away from her but I'd had it. I glanced over at Alice's shears and smiled.

"You have such lovely hair Tanya." She preened at my words, the stupid girl. "Have you ever thought about cutting it?" I was going to cut it for her. Maybe cutting was too nice; maybe I should yank it out by the roots.

Alice's eyes clouded over. "No, Bella, don't." I didn't know what she was talking about and I didn't care. All I saw was a red haze as I looked at the lovely viper before me. I wanted to hurt her. I wanted to humiliate her. The thought of hitting her was appealing but I wanted to do something that would last.

"Cut it? Why ever would I do that? My hair is perfection."

I picked up Alice's scissors and handed them to her. "I think you should. I think you should cut your hair right now."

Confusion ran across Tanya's face but she shook her head and cleared it. "Are you crazy? I said no."

I glared at her. "And I said yes. Go ahead. _Cut it. Cut your hair right now_!" I knew she wouldn't do it but I was going to, I should be able to take out a chunk or two before any of them got me off her.

Alice grabbed my arm. "Bella, don't!" Edward reached for me as well. Ah, she'd seen what I had planned and so had Edward. It didn't matter; I was stronger than all of them.

Tanya's face went blank and her hand curled around the shears and she put her thumb and pointer finger into them. I watched, stunned, as she raised the scissors to her hair and started cutting. Why had she listened to me? Was she doing it just to take the joy that I would have gotten from doing it myself away?

Carlisle, Esme, Eleazar and Carmen came running at Alice's shout. Emmett grabbed Tanya's arm but the damage was done, the right half her head was shorn into a boyish haircut, shorter than Alice's. The other half was still long. It was like some bazaar before and after photo.

"Tanya, what on earth are you doing?" Carmen ran to her and tried to wrestle the scissors away. Her fingers were still moving, opening and closing them as if she were still cutting her hair.

"It can't be." Jasper gasped, staring at me as if I'd grown a second head.

"What?"

Eleazar came over to me. "Did you make her do that?" Make her do it? I didn't make her do anything.

"I might have told her to cut her hair but I certainly didn't make her do it." Everyone in the room was staring at me with identical expressions of shock and horror. "What?"

"Mind control, it has to be." Jasper shook his head in disbelief. "That explains it."

"Explains what? What are you talking about?"

Edward stood and put his hands on my shoulders, staring into my eyes with a look of fear and wonder at the same time. "Bella, you made her cut her hair. Your power is mind control." I shook my head in denial. That just wasn't possible.

Jasper nodded. "That's it! I didn't turn off my power earlier, you made me do it." Well yes, I'd told him not to use it on me but surely I hadn't done anything. He had stopped of his own free will.

"The key!" Emmett shouted. "She told me to swallow that stupid key and I did. I didn't even think about it."

"Come on, you guys, surely it's just a coincidence." I tried to sound confident in that fact but my voice shook.

"It's unprecedented. In all my years of cataloguing gifts for the Volturi, I've never seen anything like it." Eleazar was looking at me as if I was a bottle of water and he was a man dying of thirst. "The power…I can feel it emanating from you."

"You're sure?" Carlisle asked quietly.

"Yes. There is no doubt about it. She can control minds."

"It makes sense, don't you see? Even when she was a human, Edward couldn't get into her head. You've never wanted anyone to know your real thoughts, have you?" I shook my head. That much was true, I'd always felt like a freak and wanted to keep my thoughts to myself. "See, even then, she was controlling her own mind so nobody would know what she was thinking." Jasper's eyes shone with excitement. "You're going to be the most powerful vampire in the world when you learn to control it."

I shrank back in horror. I didn't want that. I didn't want this. I just wanted to live a happy life with Edward and my family. Thinks like power and mind control held no interest for me.

Tanya started screaming. She dropped the scissors and felt her hair. "No, no! What did you do? What did you make me do?" She shrieked and lunged at me but Emmett held her still.

"I didn't mean to!" I yelled, frustration getting the better of me. "I don't want a power. I don't have a power. She just did it!" Edward wrapped me in his arms and I pressed my face against his neck, heaving silent sobs. I just wanted to be left alone.

"Tanya, I can fix your hair." Alice took her arm and led her up to her bathroom and her wide array of beauty products. I watched over Edward's shoulder as Tanya followed her, her shoulders shaking.

"I didn't mean to." I whispered it this time, defeat in my tone. I didn't but it was clear that somehow, some way, I had done it.

"I know you didn't, love. It's alright. You couldn't control yourself." He lifted me and carried me back to the couch, sitting down with me on his lap, rocking us back and forth gently.

"She just made me so mad, Edward. I heard her talking with you outside."

His rocking stilled. "You heard that?"

"Yes. And it made me so angry. She has no respect for me or our marriage."

"Bella, that's just how Tanya is. She flirts but she doesn't mean anything by it." I jerked my head up at his words, anger filling me again.

"And just a minute ago, when she looked at me and said how lovely I was? What was she thinking?" He shook his head. "Tell me, Edward." I could feel everyone's eyes upon me and did my best to suppress the rage that was threatening to take me again.

"She was thinking that she was still prettier than you and she couldn't understand why I preferred you to her." I knew it! He stroked my cheek. "You know that I don't agree."

"Of course I know that but I knew that's what she was thinking, that I didn't measure up. And then she touched you, again!" I threw my hands up. "I swore to myself, when I saw her running her fingers up your arm, that if she touched you again I was going to do something about it. Then she did and I…I just lost it." I hung my head, shame overtaking me.

Carlisle put a hand on my shoulder. "Bella, nobody can blame you for getting angry at her behavior. Tanya's always had boundary issues, especially where Edward is concerned." Edward shifted uncomfortably underneath me. "And you didn't have any idea that you had the power to make her cut her hair like that." No, but I was going to do it myself anyway. Alice and Edward both knew that.

Carmen cleared her throat. "For my part, I'm sorry for Tanya's behavior. We asked her to rein it in before we came but clearly she didn't listen. Not that that excuses your actions but I know you didn't mean for this to happen."

I pushed off Edward's lap and walked over to her. "I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say." She pulled me into a gentle hug.

"It was an accident dear, plain and simple. I can't say Tanya didn't have it coming. She's stuck her nose into many a relationship despite our warnings." Maybe but that didn't excuse my behavior.

Eleazar approached me then. "It is very important that you learn how to use and control your power, Bella. Right now, the only times it's manifested have been when you were angry, yes?" I shrugged; I didn't know I was using anything at all.

Jasper nodded. "Yes, earlier today she was upset with us for making fun of her and Edward and she made Emmett swallow her bellybutton ring and shut me down when I tried to use my power on her." Emmett grinned and rubbed his stomach. "Then of course this," he gestured at the small pile of hair on the floor.

"Oh my God, you used it on me when we argued the day of your funeral!" Rose pointed an accusatory finger at me. "I was going to storm out and you told me to sit down and shut up and I did."

Emmett gaped at her. "You sat down and shut up when someone told you to?" He laughed. "I wish I'd seen that!" He cringed as a resounding smack echoed through the room, Rose's hand striking his head in its usual spot.

"It's not funny! Don't you ever use your power on me again, Bella!" She flounced up the stairs. Great, the good will we'd built over the last few days was wiped out with one use of my ridiculous power.

Carlisle sat and folded his hands. "I think we should all calm down and discuss this rationally."

"Man, why is everyone so doom and gloom about this? Bella's power is awesome! Do you know the fun we can have with it? Where does Newton go to school? We have to hunt him down and have him pull down his pants in the quad or something! This is great!" Emmett was clearly thrilled with the situation.

Carlisle sighed. "Can we save the plotting against humans for another time, please?"

Emmett looked chagrined, a two hundred and fifty pound child being chastised. "Yes, Carlisle."

"Eleazar, what do you recommend here?"

"She needs training, lots of it. You can't have her losing control at the wrong place and time." I stood silently while they talked about me as if I weren't there. Jasper, perhaps sensing my mood, came over and looped an arm around me.

"I can train her." I glanced at him and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. "Our powers are the most alike. She controls minds, I control emotions. I can teach her how to get into the brain and understand it." I liked that idea. Jasper had done well with my bloodlust training, after all.

Carlisle nodded. "That makes sense." I hated that everyone was staring at me like I was some specimen in a lab. Even Edward was looking at me like that. I shifted nervously and felt Jasper let a wave of calm out.

"Please stop looking at me like I'm a freak." My voice was weak, shaky, and I hated it.

Edward took both my hands in his and drew me gently to him. "Nobody thinks you're a freak, sweetheart. You're a wonder."

"I don't like it."

Esme spoke up then. "We're sorry, Bella. This is just so new to us, so unexpected."

"You have a gift, Bella, don't regret that." Edward kissed the top of my head.

"How can I not? Thus far I've used it to get back at both Emmett and Tanya. How is that a good thing?"

"That was anger and inexperience. With time and practice, your gift could be an incredible thing." Carlisle smiled at me. "Forgive us for being taken aback and for treating you like a science experiment. I know you hate that. It's just fascinating to me."

I gave him a tentative smile in return. "So, I work with Jasper; learn to control it, and then what?"

"Then we have fun with the humans!" Emmett interjected. Jasper punched his arm but we all laughed, the room felt a little less tense.

Tanya and Alice came down the stairs. Alice had evened out the two sides and cut the boyish hair in a more flattering style so it framed Tanya's face. It actually looked quite lovely on her but I didn't think I should say that.

"I'm ready to leave," she announced tightly, not looking at anybody in the room.

"Tanya, I…" she turned to me, her eyes blazing with hate.

"I said I'm ready to leave!" Carmen ran and slipped an arm around her, leading her out the door. Apology not accepted. I couldn't blame her.

Eleazar clasped hands with Carlisle. "It's best that we get her out of here. In time, she might get over it." I sincerely doubted that. He turned to me. "Bella, you've been given a great gift. Embrace it, own up to your mistakes when you use it the wrong way and never knowingly abuse it." I nodded. I had no intention of using my power to harm others ever again.

He turned back to Carlisle. "Aro must never find out about her power. He would want it above all others and he wouldn't rest until she came to Volterra." I shuddered at the truth in his words. Aro had wanted me there before we knew what I could do. I would be the ultimate weapon in his eyes.

"Thank you for coming, Eleazar and again, I'm very sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for." He glanced back at me. "Neither of you do. Something very good came out of our visit, after all. Do what you can to learn to control yourself. Take care and we'll talk to you soon." We watched as he joined up with Carmen and Tanya in the car and drove down the road.

I was thoroughly exhausted and I collapsed onto the couch. Edward sat back next to me and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

Emmett plopped down on the other side of me. "So, what's next?"

"Training." Jasper took my hand and hauled me off the couch. "We'll be back in awhile." I sighed, wondering what he'd do to tap into my mind but willing to give it a chance. I couldn't risk losing control again.

"Let's go, then."

* * *

**A/N So most of you guessed it last chapter but now the secret's out. Bella's got a heck of a power, doesn't she? I envy her that one!**

**Thanks for all the great reviews and welcome to my new readers. I'm thrilled so many people are enjoying this story. On that note, voting for The Indies is still taking place, open until March 2nd I think, so go check them out and vote for your favorite new authors. Lots of great stories are there!**

**I know tomorrow is reader appreciation day but most of you indicated you'd rather get this chapter on it's usual day so that's what I did. I do appreciate you all and we'll all probably have a ton of stories update tomorrow so this is one less that you have to navigate through. Thanks for all the support you guys give me. Your kind words always leave me smiling.**

**I'm wordy today. My beta and I are thinking of sponsoring a contest. I won't outline what it is now but if you read my other story, Taste of Innocence, it might be up your alley. We're looking for some graphically inclined people to help with web design and banners and that kind of thing. If any of you are interested or know somebody who might be, PM me. Thanks!**


	36. Chapter 36

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 36

BPOV

I followed Jasper back to our clearing in the woods, my mind whirling with confusion and remorse. I still couldn't believe that I'd forced Tanya to cut her hair. I knew, logically, that it wasn't my fault. I didn't know that I could make her do anything, but still, the simple fact that I was prepared to do it to her myself didn't sit well with me at all. I was confident in Edward's love so why was I so threatened by her flirting with him? It didn't matter what she tried, he'd never betray me in any way. But seeing her touch him had just sent me into a blind rage and I'd lost control. I'd worked so hard to maintain it and yet it was gone the first time a woman touched my husband in front of me.

"Are you quite through beating yourself up yet?" Jasper's exasperated voice called back to me. I hurried to catch up to him.

"Jasper, how could I do something like that? What's wrong with me?"

He chuckled. "This may sound weird, all things considered, but you're only human, Bella." I rolled my eyes at his joking at a time like this. "Don't think I can't feel your irritation." Amusement laced his tone as he walked ahead of me, not bothering to turn around and see the tongue I was sticking out at him.

"You're a real riot, Jasper."

"I really am, when I want to be." He did turn then and flashed me a mischievous grin. We reached the clearing and he walked over to one of the elm trees and plopped down, patting the spot next to him with an inviting smile. I sat down next to him and waited.

"What?"

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"I don't know, maybe that it wasn't my fault and I should stop sulking and get on with learning to use and control my power?"

"Why should I say that when you already know it's true?"

I frowned and looked into my lap. "Because it would make me feel better than my saying it."

"I shouldn't have to. It happened, it wasn't intentional, you're sorry, it's over, move on."

"But if she didn't do it, I was going to do it for her."

Jasper barked out a laugh. "Bella, you wouldn't have been able to. If you'd jumped on her, we'd have stopped you in time. It was the fact that you made her do it, the shock of that delayed us just a few seconds."

"Alright, but still, it's my fault."

"So it is. Are you going to sulk about it all day or are you going to learn so the next time you get angry, you don't lash out and do something you'll regret?" He regarded me calmly. He was right but I wanted to smack him anyway.

"I want to learn." I may have said it through gritted teeth but I meant it.

He smiled serenely, unruffled by the irritation that must be rolling off me in waves. "Are you starting to get a little worked up, Bella?"

"You know that I am."

"And the only times you've used your power, thus far, have been when you've been angry, correct?" Oh, oh! He was trying to make me mad so I could tap into my gift. Of course now that I knew, I wasn't mad anymore.

I giggled. "Now you made me lose it."

"It's really not a problem." He stared at me for a few seconds and I felt anger start to suffuse my body, that red haze taking over like it had earlier. I wanted to start punching trees again. I wanted to hunt Tanya back down and hit her a few hundred times. I wanted…

"Make me do something." What? I wasn't mad at Jasper, I was just mad period and…"Bella, think of something and make me do it." God he was annoying, making me concentrate when all I wanted to do was destroy something. "Get to it, Bella. Are you afraid that you can't control someone who knows you're doing it? That's probably it. You're too weak to take on someone who is prepared."

I glared at him, arms crossed like he hadn't a care in the world, like a newborn raging vampire was not in front of him. Perhaps I should rip those arms off so he didn't cross them in all his smug glory. "Well it's clear you can't take me on, Bella. Maybe you're not woman enough for Edward after all. I'm sure I can catch up to Tanya and let her know that you're not worthy to be with my brother."

My arm drew back to strike him but he caught my hand before I could make contact with his face. "Use it, Bella. Make me do something."

"Ugh, fine!" I pushed his hand aside. "Go push that tree over." I pointed across the clearing. Jasper just sat where he was and stared at me. "Um, I said, go push that tree over." I waited for him to go do my bidding like a good dog. It really had sounded like I was talking to a pet or something. Fetch! "Why aren't you going?"

"Because you're not making me."

I huffed. "I most certainly am."

"You're telling me but you're not making me."

"Well how in the hell am I supposed to make you? I don't know how to do it! I just thought it and they did what I said. Why aren't you?" I was yelling now but I didn't care. He was either frustrating me on his own or using his power as well, I didn't know which and I didn't care.

"Use it, Bella, use that anger and make me push the tree over."

"I don't know what to do, Jasper! Why can't you just _go push the tree over _like I told you to?" I threw my words at him and all of a sudden he was up and headed for the tree I'd picked out. He swung a hand and connected with it, a loud bang echoing as his hand struck the tree and then a resounding crack as it fell over. I looked at him as he turned back to me.

"Did you do that on your own or did I make you do that?"

He smiled. "You made me do it. The only question is how. What was different that time than the other times you told me to do it?"

I shook my head, mystified. "I don't know. I got madder than I was the first couple of times but…"

"No, that's not it. Think about what you did. What was in your mind at that moment?"

"I don't know!" I threw up my hands in frustration.

He ran a hand through his hair, reminding me much of Edward in that moment. Some of the anger ebbed away with that thought. I tried to think about what I had done. "I think…"

He leaned forward. "You think what?"

I frowned. "I think that last time, I got so mad that I not only said the words to you but I thought them as well? I mean, of course I always think my words but I actually felt them and pushed them at you, maybe?" I asked him.

He smiled in triumph. "Yes! Exactly. You not only have to think the words, you have to mentally shove them at the person you're trying to control."

"Wait a minute; did you know that all along?"

"Yes."

I smacked his shoulder, finally giving in to the urge to hit him. "And you couldn't have told me that before we got started?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to learn on your own. It's your mind, your power and you need to figure it out, feel it out. I gave you a nudge with the anger, which is fine to start but you're going to have to learn to do it without getting mad. That'll be the real test for you."

Yeah, like this wasn't hard enough already. "Jasper…" my voice sounded disturbingly like a whine. I didn't whine. I felt like a little kid back at school though. My other training sessions were much more fun. Where were the flying baby dolls when I needed them?

"Bellaaaaa," he sing-songed in response. Ugh. He chuckled at my reaction. "You know if you figure out how to use your power you might just be able make Edward's day." That had my interest.

"How so? I could make him my very own sex slave?" He coughed, caught between a laugh and gasp.

"Please! I don't need to hear that, I already get enough from you two daily!" I giggled, unrepentant. He deserved it for irritating me earlier.

He glared at me. "What I was trying to say, before I was so rudely interrupted, was that if you could learn to control it, you'll be able to lower that barrier in your mind and let him in."

Edward could hear me? I didn't want to let him to do it all the time but I'd love to surprise him by letting him hear my thoughts. I gripped Jasper's arm, incredibly excited. "How? You have to teach me!" It'd be the perfect Christmas present for him and it wouldn't cost me a dime.

Jasper smiled in satisfaction. "See, all you needed was the right motivation."

"Yeah, yeah, Edward is my kryptonite. Teach me!" He laughed and shook his head.

"Too easy." I growled and he laughed at me some more. "Alright, as I told the others, our powers probably work in a similar way. When I want to make someone feel something, I focus my attention on the person or persons and I mentally push that emotion at them."

I was fascinated, I'd never known the mechanics of Jasper's power, I'd just been the recipient of it numerous times. "How do you do it?"

He thought a moment before answering me. "The brain is compartmentalized, you know? Certain parts control certain things. I'm not going to get all medical on you, you can go to Carlisle if you want exact locations of synapses and neurons and such. What you really need to know, though, is where in your brain the power comes from."

"How am I supposed to know that?"

"Just concentrate on it when you're using the power. Our brains are so much more focused than humans, you will actually be able to pinpoint where it's coming from. Maybe not the first time you try but you will locate it. Emotion comes from here." He pointed to the left side of his head. "I focus in on that, tap into the emotion and as you said, push it at whomever I'm trying to influence."

"That's strange, how did you learn how to do it?"

He shrugged. "I've had a lot of time to learn and then perfect it. I didn't have anyone to guide me through the process." He looked at me expectantly.

"Thank you, Jasper. Though I may not be the best student in the world, I do appreciate everything you've done for me. I really would be lost without you." Or I'd be a crazed newborn, running around killing people and apparently controlling their minds.

He took my hand in his. "I don't need your thanks, Bella. I'm doing this because you're my sister and I love you. I want to make things easier on you. You gave up a lot to be with us and I, for one, am grateful. You've brought happiness into Edward's life and peace into mine, not to mention the joy you bring to my Alice."

I shifted, surprised and warmed by his praise but uncomfortable as well. I didn't do well with attention like that. Of course he knew everything I was feeling so why bother being embarrassed? "You're just glad she has someone else to buy clothes for."

He chuckled and released my hand. "You see right through me." There a wistfulness to his response though and I couldn't leave his kind words unanswered.

"Jasper…" I plucked at blades of grass instead of looking into his all-knowing face. "I truly am thankful for all you're done for me. I always wanted brothers when I was growing up and now I have two wonderful ones. I gave up a lot, I admit it, but I got way more in return." He pulled me into a gentle hug and I rested my head on his shoulder. This is what I always imagined having a big brother would be like. I knew reality was that I'd probably have been teased mercilessly and tormented, but this feeling of love and protection would still have been there as well.

He released me and nudged my shoulder with his own. "Enough slacking. Back to work!"

The sun peeked through the clouds and his face was illuminated in the shifting light. The scars that I'd grown used to stood out in a way they didn't on overcast days. Usually I was barely aware of them but the sunshine made them impossible to ignore. Jasper must have caught the expression on my face because he smiled. "Takes some getting used to, doesn't it?"

I reached out and pressed my fingers to his cheek. He brought his hand up and patted mine where it rested. "How did you survive it?"

His eyes unfocused for a minute, seeing a past I wasn't privy to. "I don't know, honestly. It's a question I've asked myself thousands of times, sometimes grateful I made it, other times not so much."

"I know you weren't alone the whole time but…"

"I was alone. Even when I was with Maria and then Peter and Charlotte, I was always alone. It wasn't until I found Alice that that changed." He stared at me. "I think you may understand that better than most." He was right, I did. I'd always felt alone until Edward came into my life, regardless of my relationships with my parents. And when he left, I eventually tried to fill the hole but I was still always aware of it. Had he never returned, I would have lived but I wouldn't be alive.

"Yeah, I definitely understand that."

"I will forever be sorry, you know."

What was he talking about? "For what?"

"For your birthday, for causing him to leave you."

I took our hands off his cheek and gripped his between both of mine. "You didn't cause him to leave me. He did that, Jasper."

"But my attack facilitated that. I nearly killed you."

I shook my head emphatically. "If it hadn't been you, it would have been something else. Edward was looking for a reason to leave me then, you and I both know it. He was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and when it did, he ran. I don't hold that against you and I don't hold it against him either. We had to go through what we did to get where we are today. I have no regrets. You shouldn't either."

He smiled ruefully. "You truly mean it. You're entirely too forgiving."

"Even if I had ever blamed you, which I didn't, you've more than made up for it since then. Who kept me from hurting during my change? Who helped me with my bloodlust so that I'd never kill a human? Who's helping me right now?"

Jasper actually looked almost bashful, looking away and scuffing his foot on the ground. "Well really, it's no big deal."

"It's a very big deal and you know it. And because I haven't said it nearly enough, thank you. You've made my transition into the life way easier than it had a right to be. All the rest of you suffered while I've cruised through everything. That's in large part due to you."

He tugged his hand from mine. "There's nothing to thank me for. Now stop trying to distract me and get back to work."

"Sir, yes sir!" I snapped a military salute at him and he snorted out a laugh.

"You're a smart one, aren't you?"

I grinned. "My teacher taught me well." He cuffed me on the shoulder. "Okay, okay, I'm doing it!"

It wasn't easy and the first few times that we practiced I would lose my concentration. I'd be able to get the order out of my brain and make Jasper do silly things like dance a jig and do a handstand, but it took several tries before I could physically locate the part of my brain that controlled the power. After that, we spent a few days just trying to use the power without Jasper's elevating my anger levels. That was the truly difficult thing to learn, when I was mad the order would just erupt from inside me. When I wasn't, I had to find the strength to make it happen.

I gritted my teeth and tried to throw the thought at Jasper. _Go pick me a flower. _He didn't move a muscle and I sighed. "I can't do it."

"Yes, you can. You've were doing it even before you were a vampire."

"I have not! At least not consciously, though that would have been cool. Imagine if I'd been able to order Jessica and Lauren to shut up." Jasper flashed an appreciative grin. We all could have enjoyed that little benefit.

"You have though. You were controlling your own mind first. And I suspect you've been doing it since your change as well."

"How so?"

"All those times you told us that you kept talking to yourself, reminding yourself to stay calm, to be focused and not to attack people. That was you using your power to keep yourself in check."

Really? Now that he mentioned it, those thoughts had been centered in that same part of the brain he was talking about. "I think you're right."

"I know I am." Confidence laced his tone. I rolled my eyes. "Back to work." And so it went, for hours on end. I pushed command after command at him, sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. Emmett tried to join the training a time or two but Jasper sent him away, telling him he was too much of a distraction. Em pouted about it but left us be, as did everyone else.

Finally, after countless tries and several tantrums on my part, I seemed to have a fairly good grip on my power. Jasper refused to let me practice on anyone else until he felt I'd mastered it. "You don't understand just what this means, Bella."

"What?"

"You are the most powerful vampire I've ever come across." No way. That was just ridiculous. I was three months old.

"Come on, you're exaggerating to scare me, right?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Do I look like I'm joking to you?"

"No, but…"

"Bella, there are many gifted vampires out there. You're now related to three of them and you've met and mentally eluded several others. Nobody has ever been resistant to Edward's mind reading, you are. Same goes with Aro and Jane. There are some vampires that act as shields but that's all they do. You could actually use your power against them while blocking their own. Mind control is unheard of. Do you understand why I've been pushing you?"

I shook my head, flabbergasted by what Jasper had just told me. I didn't know if I wanted it to be true. I'd gotten used to the idea of my gift over the last few days and had even come to appreciate it somewhat, but to be the strongest of our kind? That was scary.

Jasper took my hand, shaking me out of my thoughts. "Someday Aro will find about you. He'll get his hands on one of us and your power will be revealed. He's already curious about it. And if he knew what it was? He'd do anything he could to get you to Volterra and use you. Imagine what you could do? You could bring down any resistance with just one thought. Jane and Alec would be completely useless, not that he would give up some of his favorite toys. He could use you to convince Alice to join the Volturi along with me and Edward. Anyone he wanted."

Okay, now I was truly frightened. Jasper was right. Aro would want me even more than he wanted Alice and Edward. He mustn't ever find out. I started running through possibilities in my head. Maybe we should leave New Hampshire already, get a place somewhere we'd never lived before so they wouldn't know where we were. We could just disappear and maybe Aro would eventually forget I existed. We could…

"Bella, calm down."

"How am I supposed to calm down? You just told me that someday the Volturi will come and try to take me away."

He laughed. "The operative word in that sentence would be try."

"Come on, Jasper, you know how powerful they are. They can bring a whole army with them if they want! There are eight of us!"

"Yes and those eight consist of a future seer, a mind reader, an empath and a mind controller."

"Even with our powers…"

He shook his head. "Only with your power, Bella. That's all we need. That's why I'm pushing you to learn it. If you can learn to turn it on whenever you need it, and you're close to that already in less than a week's time, then you can stop hundreds, thousands of vampires."

I didn't know what to say to that. There was nothing I could say to that. It completely blew my mind. I opened my mouth to speak but I had no words to let out. Jasper waited patiently, just letting me absorb what he'd said. Thousands? I'd only ever controlled one mind. "But I've only controlled one person at a time."

"We'll practice on crowds soon. It's the same concept. You just push the thought at a group instead of one person. I've incited armies to fight before and calmed a whole high school or two. It's no different and it won't strain you anymore than one person does."

"I can't wrap my mind around it, Jasper. I'm just me, Bella. I've been insignificant all my life. I don't know how I, of all people, could have that kind of ability."

"Edward always said that you don't think enough of yourself. Jeez, Bella, you've never been insignificant. You've hidden who you were really were out of fear of the spotlight. It's a sentiment I am most familiar with, though it wasn't fear that kept the rest of us hidden. Yet, like us, you've always stood out, even though you didn't want to. Maybe now you're starting to realize why."

I shifted, uncomfortable at the idea of being in a spotlight still. As far as I was concerned, my family deserved all the attention they got but I couldn't conceive of any of it reflecting on me at this point. I was still the plain one in this family and I was honestly fine with that. "Oh Lord, would you cut it out already? I can feel you putting yourself down." It was annoying not being able to hide my feelings from him like I could Edward. Hey maybe with my power…

Jasper grinned. "Go ahead, try to block me."

"Are you a mind reader all of a sudden?"

"No, your face just gives everything away. Plus I could feel you getting excited about something and I put two and two together. It's a good idea anyway. If you want to let Edward in, you need to learn how you keep him out. You did it to me once already without knowing it. Try it."

"Yeah, but I was mad then and I just told you to stop. I didn't put a block up or anything."

"Well put one up now. You won't know until you try."

"I wouldn't even begin to know how."

"Envision a wall going up in your mind." I tried to picture it. "Okay, here we go." Instantly I felt melancholy sweep over me, as if my heart was breaking. I gasped and Jasper pulled his power back immediately. "Try again."

I certainly didn't want to feel like that again so I pictured a steel wall, impenetrable. _Nothing can get in, nothing can get out. _ I concentrated on that wall as if my very life depended on it. Jasper tapped me on the shoulder. "Now tear the wall down." I did as he asked; the steel disappearing before my eyes. I felt giddiness, his and mine at my success.

"I did it!" I threw my arms around Jasper and he squeezed me back, joining in my excited laughter.

"That was great, Bella, you're truly getting the hang of your abilities. It took us days to get the mind control figured out but only minutes now to learn something new. I'm proud of you."

I gave him another hug and pulled back. "Thank you for working with me. I never could have done it alone."

He grinned. "You probably could have, it just would have taken you a lot longer."

I could not help but agree but still gave him a shove. "Yeah, yeah."

"Are you ready to go test your abilities on the rest of the family?"

I giggled, thrilled with what I had planned. "Yep!"

Jasper eyed me for a minute and shook his head. "I have a feeling this is going to be interesting. Let's go."

I veered off home for a second and got out what I'd need, doing my best not to picture what it was for. I didn't want to forewarn Alice. She'd see what I was going to have her do but hopefully not until I gave her the order. I bounded into the house and threw myself into Edward's waiting arms, giving him a kiss that showed my utter excitement in all I'd accomplished today.

He kissed me back and laughed against my lips. "Well, hello there, love."

"Hi yourself, handsome." I threaded my fingers through his hair and started kissing him again. I heard some throat clearing behind me, reminding me we were not alone. Sighing, I removed my lips from where they most wanted to be and turned to find Jasper watching me with his arms crossed.

"Don't you have something to do?"

"Oh, yeah!" So I forgot. Who could blame me when those lips were on mine? I begrudgingly removed myself from Edward's arms and sat next to him on the couch. Jasper, Alice, Emmett & Rosalie were all in the room. Rose was glaring at me and I hastened to reassure her that I wouldn't do anything to her.

"Rose, I'm not going to use it on you, okay? I'll do it only if you volunteer."

She eyed me with distrust but nodded. "You'd better not." Clearly only time would convince her. As long as she didn't make me angry I should be able to avoid controlling her.

"Where are Esme and Carlisle?"

"Right here dear." Esme and Carlisle walked in hand in hand. I smiled at how cute they were together even after all this time. Everyone was seated and I looked around nervously, not sure where to start.

Emmett bounded over, making the choice for me. "Me first! Make me do something!" He was grinning from ear to ear in his excitement but then his face fell. "But don't make me swallow another key, okay? That didn't feel very good coming back up."

I giggled. "I won't, I promise. I won't do anything that will cause you bodily injury, only some humiliation."

"Bring it!"

I smiled, mentally flipping through the various options I'd thought of since my power came to light. _Perform "I'm a Little Teapot" in a high falsetto. _He didn't hesitate, his huge frame was up and one arm went behind his back and one curved forward. "I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout." Everyone in the room burst into hysterics, including Rosalie much to my surprise. Emmett's attempt at a girl's voice with his deep timbre made it even funnier. He finished with a flourish, after emptying his spout one more time.

He swooped down upon me and yanked me into his arms, twirling me around the room. "Bella, that was awesome! I'm truly proud of you! You're going to be an epic prankster in time!" I joined him in his hearty laughter, pleased that I'd been able to tap into my power so easily. He put me down and I turned my attention to the room.

"Who's next?"

"That would be me." Alice danced into the center of the room. "Have you decided on anything?"

I laughed. "I'm about to. You don't think you're going to be able to see it and thwart me somehow do you?"

Her smile was challenging. "Maybe." Jasper raised an eyebrow and gave me a nod. I let the thought flow and watched Alice's face flicker in horror as she ran out of the room.

"Looks like she beat you, Little Sis!" I laughed, confident that wasn't the case. Sure enough, Alice returned a second later, a look of dejection on her pretty face. She was dressed in my rattiest sweat pants and t-shirt, an old Forks Police Department shirt that had a hole in one of the sleeves and a fraying hem. Alice looked as if she was being burned at the stake. Emmett took one look at her and fell off the edge of the couch. "Epic!" He ran up the stairs and was back in seconds, camera in hand and clicking away. Alice screeched and lunged for the camera but Emmett danced away cackling madly.

Jasper saw her face and wrapped her in a comforting hug but shot me a smile over her head. "I don't like you anymore," she directed at me as she burrowed into his chest. The clothes sagged around her, far too big for her tiny frame.

"Oh come on, Alice, it was funny and it had to be something you wouldn't normally do!"

Her face scrunched up in disgust. "I certainly wouldn't wear these rags."

"I know. That's what makes it funny. Consider it payment for the key bellybutton ring."

She sighed and released Jasper. "Fair enough. I'm going upstairs to change though, then I'm burning these!" She gestured at my shirt and wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"If you burn my clothes I'll make you burn all yours as well." Her mouth dropped open in horror as she saw that I meant what I said.

"Fine, you can keep your rags!" She was up the stairs in a flash.

Edward chuckled. "You could have made her wear them all day."

"I'm not that mean. That was fun though." Alice returned, freshly dressed in a purple silk blouse and black pants. She handed me my t-shirt and sweats, folded neatly. I smirked at her.

Edward chuckled softly at me. "I guess I'm up next, unless Carlisle and Esme want a turn?"

"I do!" Carlisle had been watching with rapt attention. Of course he wanted a turn. He'd probably be analyzing any different nuances in his brain for hours afterward. I hadn't really planned on doing anything with him or Esme and I had to think a minute. Inspiration finally struck and I grinned in anticipation. Wariness flashed over Carlisle's handsome face but he had nothing to worry about. While I could happily torture my brothers and sisters, I wouldn't do the same to him and Esme.

_Dance with Esme. _Carlisle's face went momentarily blank as he reached a hand out to Esme and pulled her to her feet. "What…" she started to ask but stopped as he twirled her around the room in an effortless waltz. Delighted giggles burst from Esme's lips and she tossed a huge grin my way. "Oh, Bella, the things I would do with that power!" There was a hungry sparkle in her eyes so I decided to make her even happier. _Pick Esme up in your arms, like a groom carrying his bride. _He immediately complied and Esme wound her arms around his neck and looked at me expectantly.

"Do you want me to make him do more?" I didn't know what was or wasn't appropriate in this kind of situation, I didn't want to violate Carlisle in any way, even if she was his wife.

Esme seemed to understand my hesitation. "Maybe you could just have him carry me upstairs and then let me take it from there." I gave her a nod; that I could deal with. _Carry her to your room and close the door. _He moved quickly up the stairs, Esme smiling and waving a shy goodbye at us as he shut the door behind them.

I glanced nervously at everyone's reactions and they were all watching me with awe. "Dude, Edward, you are so lucky! Bella can totally make you her sex slave!" Rose whacked him in the head but Emmett was undeterred. "Just imagine, she can take one look at you and order you to…" he broke off when Rose hit him again.

"To find the key?" I asked with a smirk.

Emmett's eyes widened and then he burst out in the gut busting laugh that shook the room again. The rest of us joined in. "Yes! Exactly! What guy wouldn't love a woman that could do that?"

"I don't know," Rose drawled. "It seems to me that it's pretty easy to get you to do my bidding without mind control and Edward's just as whipped as you are."

"Yeah but still, she could get anybody to."

"Hey! Watch yourself, Emmett!" Edward growled.

I took his hand in mine and squeezed it reassuringly. "I would never do something like that!"

"I know, love, our brother just has a dirty mind."

"I can't help it!" Emmett protested. "It's just a good thing that someone like Bella has that power because in the wrong hands…that would just be very bad." I saw Jasper exchange a glance with Edward.

Before I could ask what that was about, Edward turned to me. "So, is it my turn finally?"

I didn't really feel comfortable doing what I had originally planned, not after what Emmett had said. "Maybe we could just wait."

Edward's eyes flashed with disappointment as he cupped my cheek in his hand. "Bella, nothing you could ever ask me to do would be inappropriate."

I shook my head. "I don't want to violate you. I hadn't really thought that it was like that but it is."

"No, love, it's only a violation if the person is unwilling. I'm volunteering." He leaned forward and stage whispered in my ear, "_Especially_ if you want to make me your sex slave." He bit gently down on my earlobe and I hissed in reaction.

"Ugh, my eyes!" Rose turned to Emmett. "Take me upstairs, now." He hopped up and scooped her up just like Carlisle had Esme. "See, no mind control necessary," she informed us smugly. Emmett just shot us a grin and raced upstairs.

Jasper let out a shaky sigh. "I guess it's just one of those days. Shall we Alice?" She tittered and took his hand, skipping gracefully up the stairs as he jogged next to her.

Edward dropped my hand and started toying with the ends of my hair. "Maybe we should have a private demonstration of your power, at home?"

"I think that sounds like a good idea."

He took my hand and led me out of the main house. We were in our bedroom seconds later. Edward released my hand and sat on the edge of the bed, folding his hands in his lap and looking for all the world like an eager pupil on his first day of school. I suddenly felt like a teacher about to seduce her student. Well, he _was_ younger than me.

"Before I do anything, will you tell me what you and Jasper were silently talking about?"

The excitement slipped away from Edward's face. "Nothing really."

"Do you want me to make you tell me?" This was kind of fun, I could actually do that but I didn't want to have to.

"No! He just thought about your power in the hands of Aro. He's worried about him finding out."

I sighed. "I know; we talked about it as well. I thought maybe we should move somewhere…"

Edward shook his head. "Demetri would find us. We'll just hope he doesn't find out and if he does, we'll deal with it." He patted the bed and I went and sat next to him. "Now, will you please take advantage of me?"

I plucked at the bed spread, feeling uneasy again. "Are you sure? I really don't want to make you do anything you don't want to."

"Bella, is there anything that I don't want to do with you?" I shook my head. "I want you to do this. Just think of it as you guiding me to do whatever you want. Believe me, if I had that power, I'd love to use it on you. Never without your consent, but wouldn't you give it anyway?"

"Of course I would! I always want you, Edward." He grinned at me expectantly. "Alright, I get it, you always want me too."

"Yep, so get on with it!"

I gave myself a minute to try to recapture the excitement I'd been feeling anticipating this moment. Edward just watched me patiently, his golden eyes shining with love and desire. Seeing that brought on my own and I was ready. _Take off your shirt. _I watched ravenously as his fingers unhooked the buttons quickly and efficiently, revealing slivers of pale skin and taut muscles. I licked my lips as he shrugged the shirt off his shoulders.

_Stand up. _He immediately complied, unfolding from the bed. _Kiss me. _His lips moved over mine softly, almost reverently. _Take off my clothes. _He pulled up my t-shirt and unfastened my jeans, lowering them. I kicked them off and he stayed at my feet, waiting for his next command. I felt powerful but lonely in that moment. I knew he wanted this, wanted me, but I hated that his mind wasn't really there.

_Come back to me. _He stood up and I pulled myself from his mind. He looked at me, confusion etched across his features. "What's the matter?"

"It doesn't feel like you're really with me when I'm controlling you like that."

He brushed my hair out of my eyes and kissed my nose. "Bella, I was completely with you in that moment. I wanted to do everything you were asking me to do."

"But your face was blank, Edward, it didn't feel like you. It was like you were my puppet."

He smirked. "I prefer the term love slave."

I laughed and shoved him, pushing him back down on the bed. "Are you sure about this?"

He pushed himself up on his elbows. "Bella, do you know how incredibly sexy it is, having you tell me just what to do? If you verbally asked me to I would, so why wouldn't you mentally telling me to have the same affect? I am perfectly aware of what you're doing and I love it. I love you. Please?"

Like I could resist my gorgeous husband asking me to let him make love to me. "Alright, you asked for it." I climbed next to him on the bed. _Take off your pants. _He complied and I smiled when I saw he was wearing nothing underneath. "Ready for me, are you?" He didn't need to answer; I saw the evidence right before me.

I lay next to him and Edward just watched me, waiting for my next demand. _Kiss me again. _His mouth found mine and I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy those skilled lips moving against mine. _With tongue. _His mouth opened and his tongue tangled with mine. _Touch me. _His hands moved up my arms, caressing me as he made his way up my body. _Touch my breasts. _His hands moved down my shoulders and he cupped a breast in each palm, rolling them gently in his hands and squeezing with the perfect amount of pressure. He was giving me exactly what I liked. _Kiss my neck. _He tore his lips from mine and traced a line down my neck and back up. It was getting very hard to concentrate to even bother giving orders. His hands and lips felt too good and I moved mindlessly against him.

_Take off my underwear. _His hands slid down my body and he moved my panties slowly down my legs. I whimpered at his touch. _Kiss my stomach. _His lips pressed to my tummy, around my bellybutton, against the ring, down near my hips. I moaned and pushed against him. Did I dare ask him to go where I really wanted him? _Taste me. _His tongue darted out against my hip bone. _No, taste me here. _I guided his face to my entrance and he went to work immediately, his tongue darting inside me. _Find the key. _I couldn't even attempt to maintain control when he was feasting on me so I just lay back and let myself float with his ministrations, his tongue moving over me like lightning. My entire body felt like it was on fire as I came again and again. I cried out as Edward kept going, not stopping despite me finding my release. _Stop. _He complied immediately and I took a breath and let out a shaky laugh. Edward looked up at me, a wicked smile on his face.

"_Come here," _I said it aloud and mentally. He moved up my body, the hard muscles of his chest brushing against me. _Make love to me. _His body aligned with mine and he slowly entered me. _Kiss me. _His lips captured mine as he began to move within me. _Faster. _He increased his pace and I moved my hips in rhythm with his. His eyes were open and staring into mine, the love I felt reflected right back at me despite my being in control in that moment. _Faster. _He picked up his pace and I matched it, feeling the pressure building in my body again. I wondered if…_come with me. _I tightened around him and his hips crashed against mine as he achieved his own release at the same time.

I wrapped my arms around him and Edward remained pressed against me. His head rested against my shoulder and I brushed my hands through his hair. "That was intense," he murmured, pressing a kiss to my neck.

"Yes it was."

"In a way, it almost felt like I was finally reading your mind." I bit back a grin, knowing that someday soon I hoped to let him do just that.

"It is pretty much the same thing."

He grinned happily. "I liked it."

I laughed. "So did I."

He touched my cheek. "So no more worries about using your power on me."

I bit my lip and shook my head. "Not in that context. But I promise I will never use it to change your mind or during a fight or anything."

He kissed me. "I'm not worried about that at all, love." I was. If I got mad and lost control, who knew what I could do? "But I do think you need more practice. Shall we try it again?"

I laughed and flipped him over. "I think that's a very good idea." _Kiss me. _His lips met mine again and I melted into him, ready and willing to order him around all night.

* * *

**A/N Was that good for you? Yeah, that's my favorite lemon thus far, not gonna lie. There's just something about mind control isn't there? I like!**

**Know what else I like? That you guys all enjoyed the Tanya treatment last chapter! She totally had it coming, I agree.**

**More fun with mind control next chapter, review if you want a preview! See you next Saturday!**

**YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST!!! I just got an email that SL made it into the final round of Indies voting. Thank you so much! I'm actually tearing up that you guys would vote for me. I love you all!**


	37. Chapter 37

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 37

**BPOV**

"Today's the big day! Are you ready, Little Sis?" Emmett grinned at me, practically bouncing off the walls in his excitement. Today we were going out to test my ability against crowds of people. That's right; I was finally going to be attending school at Dartmouth. It was only about four months late.

I rolled my eyes at his exuberance. "As ready as I'll ever be." I turned to Alice. "Are you sure you don't want to come?"

She shook her head. "I've already seen it. You don't need me. Everything will be just fine. Spend some time with your husband and brothers." I didn't really relish the thought of walking into a classroom with three of the most gorgeous guys on the planet. The women would probably be throwing themselves at their feet. Just the thought of it had my eyes narrowing.

"But Alice, the women will be all over them."

She puffed up and put her hands on her hips. "The most certainly will not. Why do you think I'm entrusting my Jazz to you? If any girl heads in his direction you make her turn the other way. He won't look twice at them anyway but this is a way to use your power for good."

"But last time I got jealous…"

She wrapped an arm around my waist and gave me a squeeze. "That was before you knew your power and controlled it. Not to mention you already had a hate on for Tanya before she did anything." I opened my mouth to protest but she just raised an eyebrow at me. I couldn't deny it. "Plus these are humans you're dealing with, not vamps. They're not a remote threat to you. And you're gorgeous so I don't think many women will have the nerve the come up to them with you sitting there."

I snorted at that. Yes, I was somewhat prettier but I was hardly gorgeous and certainly not intimidating to the Lauren and Jessica types in the world. "Don't even say it." She glared at me then, wagging her little finger at me as if I'd been caught with my hand in the cookie jar. "Just you wait and see. I guarantee you'll have just as much of an effect on the men as they do on the women." I just shook my head, knowing better than to bet against Alice even if she was insane.

"Come on, Bella, let's go!" Emmett tugged me toward the front door.

"Oh, Emmett." Alice called his name in a singsong voice. He turned to look at her and she tossed something at him. He caught it by reflex and groaned when he saw a baby doll arm. "Now you have two pieces. Behave and maybe you'll get more." She smiled sweetly as she dashed upstairs to do whatever it was she was up to that made her too busy to go with us.

Emmett's face was in a comical frown and I gave him a hug. "She'll give them all back to you eventually." Piece by piece, of course.

"But he won't be the same."

"Sure he will; we'll put him back together and he'll be good as new. You'll see!" I put the doll arm on the dining room table. He still looked down so I pulled him toward the door. "Come on, don't we have some humans to torture?" His face brightened considerably as he bounded outside. Edward and Jasper emerged from the woods, having gone on a last minute hunt before we sat in a classroom with several hundred humans. Emmett and I had eaten a day ago and Alice said we'd be fine.

"Let's get a move on, boys; we have a class to attend!" Emmett vaulted through the Jeep window and looked at us all expectantly. Jasper shook his head and got in the front seat. Edward opened my door, of course, and climbed in the back seat next to me. I snuggled up against him as Emmett floored the gas and took off toward the campus.

"What class are we going to anyway?" I asked Edward.

He grimaced. "Psych 101. It's in Prentiss Hall. Holds 500 students and there are nearly that many registered for the class."

Jasper turned in the front seat to look back at me, his curls shaking about his head in the breeze. "Have you thought about what you'll make them do?"

I shrugged. I had a few vague ideas but we'd wait and see what happened in class. "You could make all the girls take off their clothes if you wanted!" Emmett piped up. Since Rose wasn't around to do it for me I slapped him upside the head. "I was just kidding," he grumbled.

"You know, Em, we might want to put the top up on the Jeep. It's nearly freezing to humans; it might look weird if we don't have it up." Edward's suggestion was a valid one. Emmett stopped the Jeep and yanked the top up and resumed driving about thirty seconds later.

"Nobody lets me have any fun." I grinned to myself as I decided I would make sure to give him some fun today.

"Everybody put on your coats," Jasper instructed. I shrugged into the stylish red coat Alice had presented me with for this expedition. She'd told me I could not wander around campus looking like some nobody from Forks. When I pointed out that I was some nobody from Forks she went off on a tirade about embracing the real me. I stopped her by taking the coat and thanking her. The coats they'd been forced to wear on the boat still offended her and she wasn't letting us appear that way in public again.

Emmett pulled onto the road that led to campus and soon we were approaching the building where we'd be attending class. Emmett saw a space opening up in the front row and zipped toward it but another car was already waiting. "Bella…" Emmett pleaded with me.

Jasper laughed. "No time like the present to get started."

I thought it was pretty mean that we'd take this students parking spot but they were right, it was good practice. I looked into the vehicle and focused on the young man tapping on his steering wheel to the beat of the music he was listening to. _You don't want to park there. You want a space in the back. _He stopped drumming and pulled away from the space, heading toward the other end of the parking lot. Emmett laughed triumphantly and whipped into the space.

"That is so cool! We're never waiting for anything again." I shook my head, like vampires really had a problem with waiting. We could always physically remove obstacles or terrorize people into getting our way. Still, this was easier and nobody knew I was doing it.

"Very nice, love." Edward kissed me and got out of the Jeep, holding my hand as I climbed out. Jasper went to the back and got out four backpacks, handing one to each of us.

"Gotta look the part," he muttered.

"Alice?" I asked.

He grinned. "Of course, she enjoyed shopping for school supplies again. They're the best money can buy." I shook my head, we'd only need them once but of course Alice had to outfit us in something ridiculously expensive. I tossed the green bag over my shoulder and grabbed Edward's hand again.

"Come on, guys, it's time for class!" Emmett whooped, already twenty feet ahead of us. We hurried to catch up to him and climbed the stairs into Prentiss Hall. We didn't have to search for the room; it was a big auditorium straight in front of us. We entered into a half full classroom fifteen minutes before the lecture was to start.

Edward's hand clamped down on mine almost painfully as we walked toward the stairs to find some seats in the back of the hall. "What's wrong?" I asked him. In front of me, Jasper's shoulders tensed and he let out a low growl, too low for human ears thankfully.

"Lust," Jasper muttered over his shoulder at the same time that Edward said "Their thoughts." I bit back a chuckle at their reactions to being back around humans again. Of course the girls were going to lust after them.

"That's the price you guys pay for being so very pretty," I told them in an amused tone, running my thumb along Edward's hand in a manner I knew he found soothing. Emmett found an empty row in the back and sank into a seat in the middle. Jasper filed in next to him and I went in next with Edward bringing up the rear. He released my hand and immediately put his arm around me, his hand tightening on my shoulder. "What's wrong with you?"

"The thoughts are not about us, they're about you," he informed me, irritation lacing his tone and a frown marring his gorgeous face. I glanced around the room and noticed that there were several boys looking in our general direction. Next to me, Jasper glared and Emmett leaned forward menacingly, causing heads to swivel back to the front of the room.

Huh, that was weird. Were they really looking at me? Why? Mystified I turned to Edward. "Why would they be looking at me?" They must be trying to figure out what I was doing with three very attractive men.

He sighed and ran his free left hand through his hair. "Because you're beautiful, Bella. Every single male in this room shot straight into fantasy mode the instant they laid eyes on you." He broke off and smirked. "Well except for that one in the bright yellow coat, he only has eyes for Emmett." Jasper let out a guffaw and Emmett glanced at his would-be suitor.

"I'm flattered, but I'm totally out of his league," he deadpanned. I lost it and started giggling uncontrollably. Edward even joined in the laughter though his eyes still showed his irritation.

"Really? What guy here would be in your league, do you think?" Jasper asked with an expression of complete mirth on his face.

Emmett took the question seriously, scanning the room looking for a man that would fit the bill. Finally he shrugged. "Sadly, it would be one of you two bozos. Nobody else measures up." We all lost it then and more people turned to look at us. I bit my lip and decided to give it a try. _Nothing to see here, turn around. _Every person that had glanced our way faced forward again and I smiled in triumph.

"Did you do that?" Edward asked me, pride in his voice.

I grinned and nodded. "That was 48 people you just commanded," Jasper informed me, a look of satisfaction on his face. "I told you it was no different. You just focus on the group instead of on the one."

I hadn't even consciously thought about it; I'd just pushed the thought out and it had been obeyed. Edward tensed next to me again. "Who does he think he is, Mike Newton?" I followed his gaze and saw a guy standing near the professor's lectern, his eyes trained directly on me. He had shaggy brown hair and light blue eyes. He was shorter than Edward, maybe about 5' 11" and fairly decent looking, though not remarkable like my husband and brothers.

"Maybe Mike has a cousin here," Emmett remarked helpfully. "What is he thinking?"

Edward growled, "I don't want to say."

"Come on, man, you have to tell us. You can't just get all overprotective mountain man without giving us the reason. We know he's hot for Bella, but what is he thinking?" I shook my head in automatic denial of Emmett's words.

"Why do you do that?" Jasper asked me quietly.

"Do what?"

"Constantly belittle yourself. You don't think that guy, all these guys, could possibly find you desirable, do you?"

"Not all the guys," Emmett interrupted helpfully. "Don't forget about the one who likes me!" He sent a bright smile to the yellow jacket guy who abruptly turned red and looked away.

"Well, no, but…"

"But what?

"I'm just me, Bella. I'm not anywhere near as beautiful as Alice or Esme or Rosalie."

Edward took my face in his hands. "Yes you are. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. When will you see yourself the way I do?"

My heart warmed at his words as it always did. "But you love me, Edward. You're the one who doesn't see me clearly. Love colors your viewpoint of me."

Emmett heaved a giant sigh. "Bella, you are hotter than every girl in this room and I don't say that easily seeing as you're my sister and all. But I'm a dude and I know women and I especially know hot women and you are one."

I didn't really know what to say but I started to respond until Jasper cut me off. "Are you really going to tell all three of us that we have issues with our vision? I think you know that we all have perfect sight and while we all love you, we do see you clearly. Would you like me to show you the waves of lust coming off the males in the room? It's time you removed the smudged glasses you're looking at yourself through. I can feel it when you disparage yourself and I don't like it any more than Edward does."

I shook my head and looked over to see Edward regarding me sadly and resolved to try not to let my feelings of inadequacy spill over to him or to Jasper. I had to remember that even though I felt like the same Bella, I really wasn't. Logically I knew that I was prettier than I used to be but when I saw the beauty that surrounded me in my family every day I still felt like the ugly duckling. "I'll try not to do that anymore, okay?"

Edward gave me my special smile and leaned forward to give me a quick kiss. I forgot we were in a crowded classroom but heard the whispers start at our show of affection. "Get a room." "Of course she's with him; he's too gorgeous to be single." "I hate her, why can't I get a guy like that?" I pulled back, embarrassed at the show we were putting on but Edward looked quite satisfied by it.

"Why don't you just pee all over her next time?" Emmett laughed.

Edward grinned. "Hey it worked." Then his smile fell away. "Mostly." Would-be Mike Newton was still staring at me as if I was a glass of water and he was dying of thirst.

"What is that guy's problem? Do you need to do her on the floor for him to get the message?" Emmett demanded imperiously. "Maybe I should go have a little talk with him." He started to get out of his seat but Jasper grasped his arm.

"Leave it be. Bella's got this." _I do? _ I gave Jasper a questioning look. "Make him forget about you or think about something else. Do whatever you want."

I glanced at my husband's locked jaw and determined to make it easier for him to get through this class. _There is nobody sitting in the back row. Forget you ever saw the girl. _The boy blinked and looked to a row a few in front of us, walking to an empty seat. He didn't turn around to look at me again. "Thanks, love," Edward whispered softly, resting his head against mine.

"That was great and all but can we get to the fun?" Emmett asked, bouncing in his seat like a little kid. A very large little kid, our seats began to shake.

"Simmer down, Emmett." Jasper warned him with a scowl on his face.

"What?" he demanded. "Bella can just make them forget anything weird that I may do."

"Maybe I'll have yellow jacket come over and ask for your number," I suggested with a sly grin. Emmett stopped bouncing. "I thought so."

"You guys are no fun. Why can't I have your power? I would have the best time!" I had no doubt about that but I felt the responsibility that came with my gift. It sounded like fun and often times it was but when I lost control, like I had with Tanya, it was scary. I didn't want to bring the Volturi down on us and I wasn't about to do anything stupid. Emmett wasn't concerned about such matters of course.

I recognized the power inside me now and knew just what it could do in the wrong hands. I would not let that ever happen and that's why it was important to me that I practice and gain absolute control over myself.

With that in mind, I turned to Edward. "You're here for a reason, you know, not just to watch me. Get to work, mind reader of mine. Tell me who I should use my power on."

Edward flashed me a wicked smile that made me want to yank him out of the room and find some privacy and turned his attention to the people below us. "But I'm so good at it!" I laughed and smacked him on the arm while Jasper muttered "stalker."

Almost all the seats were now filled and we were only a few minutes away from the start of class. "Well, see that girl in the front row, all the way over the left? She's got on a blue sweater, light red hair?" I nodded. "She has a crush on the guy directly across from her on the other side of the room. She sits there just so she can watch him all through class. He's the blond with the shaggy hair, kind of looks like Jasper." Jasper snorted on the other side of me, clearly not buying the comparison.

I saw the guy that Edward was referring to and nodded. "He thinks about her but he's really shy and won't talk to her. I think he needs a little push." I smiled, thrilled to have something good to do with my power. I could bring two people who liked one another together.

Emmett laughed. "This reminds me of you and me helping get Angela and Ben together." I stared at them, astonished by this news.

"What did you have to do with that?"

Edward brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. "Angela was the one friend of yours that was worthy of you. I knew she liked Ben and he liked her as well but both of them were afraid to take that next step. I just helped them along."

"How?"

Emmett piped in eagerly. "We were in Spanish and Ben sat behind us. Edward pretended like he was thinking of asking Angela to the dance but that he heard she liked some kid named Cheney. Like he didn't know Ben was behind us! It was classic, Ben got all tense in his chair and he nearly passed out he was so excited."

Edward chuckled. "I raised his protective instincts; he seemed to sense danger in me. He didn't want me anywhere near Angela and he decided to ask her out to keep me away and because Angela was the prettiest girl in the school. His thoughts were just as pleasant to be lost in as hers were. They make an excellent pair."

I beamed at the man I'd given my heart to, wanting to smother him with kisses; thrilled that he would use his ability to help out my friends; just like I would be able to do now. "You are an incredible man and I love you very much."

He pressed his lips to mine. "I do." I kissed him back, thrilled by his simple words, reaffirming his commitment to me, and then broke away, not wanting to be caught making out with my husband when the professor walked in.

"What are their names?" I just wanted to know the couple that I'd be helping get together.

"She's Lily and he's David." Alright then, Lily and David, let's see what I can do for you. I looked at him. _Get up and go talk to Lily, introduce yourself. Tell her you've noticed her in class and you were wondering if she'd like to get together for coffee when she's free. _He got up and walked over to Lily, who looked positively petrified as he approached. "Jasper." He sent something her way and she sat up a little straighter and looked less like a dying fish than she had a moment ago.

"Hi. I'm David Campbell and I've seen you here in class everyday and I was wondering if maybe you'd like to get together sometime, if you have time that is, and get coffee or something?" He was utterly adorable, stumbling his way through the invitation. Lily just stared at him, clearly shocked that her crush was talking to her. His face fell and he started to walk away because she wasn't responding. _Tell him yes! _I practically yelled at her.

"Wait, David, I would love to. Do you have any place to be after this?"

His face lit up like he'd won the lottery, his gray eyes shining. "No. So I'll meet you after class then and we can go to _Java the Hut_?"

She beamed at him. "That sounds great," she said shyly.

He shuffled his feet. "Well I better get back to my seat, but I'll see you after?" He still sounded unsure.

"You will," she assured him.

"Okay then! See you shortly!" He strolled back to his seat, stars shining in his eyes. Lily watched him walk away, still clearly stunned but she looked about to burst with happiness.

"That was awesome!" Emmett exclaimed. "The three of you working together like that? Throw in Alice and you guys would have a heck of a circus show!"

"That was very well done," Jasper agreed. "You saw when things were not going according to plan and gave a new command to get them back on track. And you even ordered me to get involved." I was embarrassed at the way I'd done that. "I'm proud of you, that was excellent. Always use what you have at your disposal. You could have just made him ignore her discomfort but instead you asked me to step in so she'd be more approachable. It was a better tactic." I basked in Jasper's praise. Edward didn't need to say anything; he was smiling as widely as Lily was.

"We'd be excellent relationship counselors," he pointed out with a chuckle.

The buzzing of the class got quiet as the professor strode into the room. Students sat up a little straighter and notebooks and laptops made their appearances. All of us quickly made a show of getting our materials out as if we would be attentively taking notes. I was finally a college girl. It felt kind of weird. Thankfully I didn't have any bloodlust to speak of, I noticed some interesting flavors in the air but it was nothing that drew me. Jasper seemed more affected by it than I did.

"Are you okay?" I asked him. He nodded tersely. "Need help?"

He shook his head. "I'm alright; it's just been awhile since I've been around this many humans at once. It takes some getting used to."

I patted his hand. "Well if you need me to do anything, I will."

He grinned. "The student becomes the teacher? I like it, but I can handle it, thanks."

Edward nudged my shoulder. "The professor is looking this way and he's noticed us. He doesn't think we belong here and he's thinking about asking who we are." I looked back at the ginger haired professor with his scraggly beard and bifocals. He was the image of a college professor if I'd ever seen one, from his tweed jacket to his wing tipped shoes. He was definitely focused on us. _Start your lecture. We've been in this class every day from the start of the semester. We're excellent students. _

He walked to the lectern and started into lecture on the parts of the human mind, the id, the ego and the superego. I noticed Jasper paying real attention to the professor and I giggled, calling him a teacher's pet.

"The brain is my forte, you know," and it was quite true. I should probably be more interested than I was but being around this many humans for the first time since my change was far more fascinating than any lecture. I just people watched and stopped the occasional fidgeting student that was distracting.

Edward hissed next to me. "What's the matter?"

"There's a kid in the fifth row, near the end, black leather jacket, greasy black hair, over on the left. Do you see him?" I nodded. "He just stole a wallet out of the purse of the girl next to him, the brunette with the pink purse. I didn't even see it, I just heard him thinking about it."

I picked out the girl who sat directly behind him, a slightly chubby blond girl. _Raise your hand. _She did and the professor glanced her way. "Yes, did you have a question?" _Tell him you saw the guy in front of you steal a girl's wallet. _

She looked positively terrified, her eyes wide and her hands wringing nervously as she told him what she'd seen. The professor leveled the thief with his gaze and asked if it was true. _Admit it. _The perpetrator opened his mouth and owned up to his crime, reaching into his pocket and bringing out her wallet and several others. The professor's mouth thinned into a disapproving line and he ordered a student near the door to go get security.

"He's thinking about running now," Edward whispered urgently. _Stay right where you are. _The boy twisted in his seat but didn't get up. A security guard came in and took the student's arm. _Go with him. _He got up and walked placidly next to the guard.

The professor turned back to the class, a frown on his face, and started his lecture again. Emmett leaned over and clapped me on the shoulder. "We could be crime fighters!" he whispered excitedly. I just laughed and shook my head.

"The whole class," Jasper reminded me. Right, that was what I was here to do, test myself against hundreds at once. I watched and waited until the professor got impassioned about how synapses in the brain could misfire and when he paused to take a breath I gave my order. _Stand and applaud. _As one, the entire class got up and gave the professor a standing ovation, us included. His mouth fell comically and all four of us dissolved into laughter.

"He…he's so excited. He's never had students applaud before, let alone give him a standing ovation," Edward choked the words out through his laughter. "I think you should definitely have them do that again because you just made his entire teaching career."

Jasper took his seat. "I can see why," he muttered dryly. "He's pretty boring, even though the subject matter is exciting."

Emmett rolled his eyes, "Only you would find this interesting."

Jasper eyed him haughtily. "The better I understand how the brain works, the better I understand myself and my and Bella's abilities."

"Whatever, man, you could probably teach this class better than the Prof up there."

"Undoubtedly," Jasper agreed with a smug smile.

"Maybe you should make the whole class burst into tears or start screaming or something, Jasper. I bet you'd give the teacher foundation for some paper on mass emotion explosions," Emmett chuckled. Jasper just shook his head and turned back to the lecture.

Edward played with the ends of my hair. "Aren't you going to pay attention?" I asked him.

"I've taken Intro to Psych more times than I care to count and I have two degrees in Psychology. I'd rather just admire my gorgeous wife." I snuggled back against him and continued people watching. Edward sighed and rested his head against mine.

"What's the matter?"

"They're still thinking about you."

"Who is?"

"The majority of the males in this classroom."

I pressed my lips into his riotous hair. "And I suppose none of the females are thinking about you?" Edward shrugged but didn't answer me. "I take that as a yes."

"Their thoughts don't matter to me," he pointed out, his fingers playing with mine.

"Nor should the males, it's not like I'm going to do anything with them."

"It's just hard when they imagine you in certain ways." I didn't ask for or want clarification on that statement; I was pretty sure what he was referring to. _Forget the girl and guys in the back row. Think about how exciting this lecture is. _

Edward chuckled into my hair. "You are amazing. Thank you."

"Happy to oblige."

The professor started to wind up his lecture and a glance at the clock showed it was nearly time for dismissal. As his last words died out, I again had the entire class give him an ovation. His cheeks pinked and his eyes shone as he beamed at the class and thanked them for their attention.

"Oh, man, is it over already?" Emmett whined.

"No, we'll go out into the quad for awhile." We ran out of the room before any of the students were even out of their seats. "Hey, let's just wait here for a second." I suggested. The boys looked at me but shrugged as we stood outside the classroom. Students began to file out. _Give the big guy your keys. _They made a beeline toward us and Emmett, Jasper and Edward stood taller, eying them carefully, prepared to act if need be.

A line formed in front of Emmett as one by one, students reached out and gave him their keys. His face was absolutely comical; he looked bewildered and uncertain about what to do as keys began to pile up in his hands. Jasper, Edward and I all completely lost it, clutching onto one another as a small mountain of keys began to form on the floor around Emmett.

"Bella," he hissed, "cut it out. How am I supposed to get these keys back to these kids?"

He kept trying to hand the keys back to the students but they wouldn't take them, they just kept thrusting them back him. "Alright, you got your payback, would you do something about this now?" He glared at me and gestured at the ever growing pile at his feet; he had too many to hold so they just threw them on the floor next to him. I decided to take pity on him and sent the remaining kids on their way. We split up the pile of keys and sought out the owners, all of whom promptly thanked us for returning them.

After that was sorted out, we went out to the quad and took a seat at a picnic bench underneath some trees. It was fairly cold out so there weren't a ton of students around but there were enough to give us something to watch and enjoy. "Ugh, that guy again?" Emmett pointed over where the guy they'd dubbed Mike Newton the Second was trying to talk a poor pretty brunette girl who kept looking around as if trying to find a route of escape.

"At least he hasn't noticed you again," Edward muttered, irritation clouding his tone.

"He really is just like Newton," Emmett chuckled. "The poor sap does not have a clue that she's not interested."

"She's too nice to just walk away but she definitely wants to," Edward agreed. "Maybe we should help her out."

I was trying to figure out what to do when the girl shifted and Mike Newton the Second followed her movement. That put me in his eyesight and his eyes lit up again. "Oh for the love of God…" Edward growled. "Here we go again."

"Well on the bright side, his victim took the opportunity to get away from him," Jasper said, jerking his head in the direction of the girl. Sure enough she was walking quickly across campus, her brown locks streaming behind her as she hurried to get out of sight. Edward started to get off the bench as my would-be suitor headed in our direction.

"Unbelievable, it's like we're not even here," Emmett murmured, his tone reflecting his awe in the situation.

"Bella has him totally besotted," Jasper pointed out. Edward's teeth ground together and his growl started to get a little louder. I put my hand on his knee and squeezed it in silent support. He didn't continue his ascent nor did he sit back down, he was in a half crouching position. I had to get this under control before one of us did something they'd regret. Emmett's face showed disbelief, Jasper looked irritated and Edward was furious.

_Stop. _He stood perfectly still but his eyes remained trained on me. Now what? He was standing in the center of the sidewalk and streams of students were going around him, several turning to see what he was staring at and starting to look at us themselves. I needed a distraction.

Edward choked out a laugh. "Do you know what he's picturing?" Um, did I really want to? Jasper and Emmett looked at him with questions in their eyes. "He's picturing you in his dorm room and he's stripping for you. It's…oh God, it's the funniest thing I've ever seen. He thinks he's so smooth!" Edward was in hysterics, sinking back onto the bench next to me, apparently no longer concerned about his thoughts now that he'd seen where they went. He buried his face in his hands and continued to laugh. "He…you…the look on your face! Like you're aroused by it! Ha!" Emmett and Jasper joined in Edward's mirth.

I glared over at the boy, irritated that he was picturing me that way and that my very own husband found it amusing. If he wanted to strip, he could do it here. _Take off your clothes, just like you're doing in your fantasy. _He unzipped his jacket quickly and began dancing around. I could see why Edward was so amused, the guy's hips were moving erratically and he even started doing some dance move I had seen in old videos; the cabbage patch or something like that. It was pretty hilarious. The students that had been staring at us turned to watch the spectacle before them, some getting out camera phones and recording the moment for posterity.

"Oooh baby, take it off!" Emmett shouted his encouragement. NotMike's hands went to the hem of his sweatshirt and he tried to slip it off fluidly only it got caught on his head. He struggled for a few seconds before eventually removing it; still gyrating in time to whatever music he was hearing. The picnic bench splintered as Jasper pounded on it a few times, completely oblivious to the destruction he was causing as he laughed himself silly. Edward was still in hysterics and Emmett was swiveling his head between me and the sight before us, joy all over his handsome face, dimples winking with his huge grin.

"It's just like he pictured it," Edward exclaimed. I swear if he laughed any harder he'd get the hiccups. Could vampires even get hiccups? I didn't think so but I just might find out. "Except for the wardrobe malfunction of course." He looked over at me and gave me a heart melting smile. "And the fact that my Bella does not look remotely turned on by the sight before her." I most certainly wasn't…amused and horrified at the same time would be a more accurate description.

I watched as the kid started to remove his shirt, revealing pasty white skin. It was nothing like looking at Edward shirtless. That was a beautiful sight of tight muscles and tantalizing skin; the boy was doughy and white and decidedly undefined. It was not pretty. Emmett fell off the bench at the vision before him, clutching his sides as he shook with laughter. Edward gasped for air and Jasper's amusement was flowing out of him and over all of the rest of us. Even I started laughing though I was not nearly as amused as they were.

The students were all staring with disbelief as NotMike reached for the button to his jeans. _Stop stripping now. _Oh no, I wasn't letting it go any further than it had already. I felt rather mean but he started it. He looked down at himself and saw his state of undress and turned a bright red hue. Even his chest turned crimson. He snatched up his clothes, gaped at me in horror for a second, and then turned and ran across the quad as fast as he could, shouts of laughter trailing behind him.

It took several minutes for calm to return to the remaining students and us. "That was priceless, seriously. I think we can safely go home now, cause you're not going to top that." Emmett slung an arm around my shoulders. "Having you around is just awesome, Little Sis. I wouldn't trade you for the world." I just smiled and got up along with Jasper and Edward. Both still had smiles lighting up their handsome faces.

"No wonder Alice didn't want to see that in person," Jasper laughed. "The vision must have disturbed her a little bit."

"She kept it from me. If I'd been forewarned I don't know if I could have made myself come see it," Edward allowed. "But it was totally worth it." He took my hand and kissed it. "I think I could endure more men's fantasies of you if you promised to make them look like fools every time."

"Watch it or I'll do the same to you," I threatened with a small smile.

"Oh yeah, make Edward strip!" Emmett clapped his hands. I glanced around and saw that a number of girls were looking in our direction, no doubt admiring the view.

"I don't think so. The only one he'll strip for is me." Edward waggled his eyebrows at me and mouthed the word "later." I felt tingles course through me at the thought. "I could make you dance for them, Emmett; it'd be like watching a Chippendale's dancer."

"I have no doubt they'd enjoy the sight but Rosie would get mad," Emmett shook his head sadly. I briefly toyed with doing it anyway but I didn't want to irritate Rose any further. We had a semi-truce going and I didn't want to do anything to disrupt that. Still…I smiled.

A very thin girl with pale blond hair and light green eyes who was watching us from nearby squared her shoulders and headed in our direction. I bit my lip as I waited for her to arrive. She smiled sweetly at Emmett and said, "I heard you could help me find my key?" Jasper and Edward were in immediate hysterics again as Emmett opened and closed his mouth in horror.

"Um, I really can't do that, I'm sorry," he stammered, shifting to stand behind his brothers. She followed him as he kept backing away.

I giggled and gave her more to say. "But you're supposed to be good at it."

"Bella, stop," Emmett pleaded. He looked like he was about to take off running and I commanded him to stay still. The girl ran her hand along his arm and Emmett tensed up but didn't move. She started humming "The Farmer in the Dell" and Emmett begged me with his eyes to make it stop. "I really need help with my key." Jasper and Edward chortled with glee at her words.

"I can't," he said desperately. "Go ask someone else. That guy that ran across campus nearly naked would be more than happy to help you. He went that way!" He pointed helpfully. She kept on caressing him as he looked on helplessly, completely immobile. "Bella, please. No more key teasing, I swear!"

I decided he'd had enough so I sent the girl on her way, though she gave him a few longing glances over her shoulder. It seemed she really had taken a liking to him. "Let's go home now," he said desperately, getting out his keys and heading quickly to the car before I did anything else to him.

We arrived back at the Jeep and climbed in, Emmett heaving a relieved sigh. He turned to me and smiled brightly. "That was epic, all of it." He gunned the engine and we took off, heading home. I heard Edward start snickering and looked at him questioningly. He jerked his head in Emmett's direction.

"I was totally lying about not teasing you about the key," Emmett announced, grinning at me in the rearview mirror. I joined in laughter with the three of them, not having expected anything else.

* * *

**A/N I really must thank you again for voting me into the final round at The Indies! I am still not over the excitement of that one even a week later. You guys are amazing and I'm thrilled that you are enjoying the story as much as I am. Voting starts on 3/15 so go and vote for your faves, lots of new writers are getting some great exposure and I'm completely grateful that you've helped make me one of them!**

**In the next few weeks, hopefully, some friends and I will be kicking off a writing competition. I can't give details now but I think it'll be a lot of fun. I know I'll enjoy it anyway! When we have everything set up I'll let you know, I know I have lots of talented reader/writers that may want to participate! Stay tuned!**

**Fun with humans, huh? What would you do with Bella's power and a room full of unsuspecting students? **


	38. Chapter 38

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 38

EPOV

It was our first Christmas as a family. It was hard to believe that two years ago I didn't yet know my wife and a year ago I was wallowing in self-pity for having lost her. Now here we were, together for all time. It was amazing how much my life had changed so quickly. What if Bella had never come to Forks? What if I'd never returned after the first scent of her nearly drove me insane? I was thankful every single day for the twist of fate that had brought Bella into my life.

Alice was in her typical holiday mode. The main house was decked to the nines, mistletoe and pine garlands and wreaths and ribbons everywhere. There was a huge tree taking up residence in the living room corner, to the right of the fireplace. Below it were countless presents. She'd been busy this year. I wasn't sure when she'd found the time with all the drama lately but that was Alice for you; she never let real life get in the way of celebrations. I smiled at her laughing with Bella as they hung the last of the ornaments on the tree.

Bella…she astounded me every single day. Her power could be intimidating at times but it couldn't be in better hands. She would never abuse it; she even felt terrible about testing it on me. Not that I minded in the least. That first time she used it on me, in our bedroom, was the most erotic experience of my life. I begged her to repeat it daily and so far she'd given in a few times. There was just something incredibly exciting about Bella telling me what she wanted and making me give it to her.

"Yo, bro, what are you doing standing around and letting the women do all the work? What happened to my chivalrous brother?" Emmett clapped a large hand on my shoulder, his momentum propelling me forward a few inches.

"I tried to help but Alice didn't care for my ornament placement."

She frowned over at me. "Don't think I don't know you did that on purpose, Edward. You know perfectly well what the tree is supposed to look like." I smirked at her and shrugged. So I wanted to admire my wife instead of making our tree look the exact same way it did every year, what was so wrong with that?

"Better watch out man, she's vicious when you make her angry," Emmett's face fell into a sulk as he thought of Emmett Junior. "Please, Alice?"

She giggled and shook her head. "Put the star on top of the tree for me and I'll consider giving you another piece." He took a graceful leap and had the star on the tree before Alice even finished the sentence. Bella's shoulders shook with her laughter, her mahogany curls bouncing in her ponytail. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and pressed a kiss to her neck.

"Why don't we go home and celebrate our first Christmas together alone?" I suggested in a purring voice. Bella titled her head to give me better access and melted into me.

"Oh no, you don't! We delayed decorating for Christmas this year because…"Alice broke off, glancing at Bella, "of stuff and now we're going to celebrate it, _together!" _ I looked down at Bella and saw that she didn't seem to be upset by Alice's words. Between deaths and funerals and mind control, it had been a hectic month for us. I wasn't sorry to see it coming to an end. The New Year would hopefully be less eventful and far less angst-filled.

"It's Christmas Eve, Alice, not Christmas day. We plan on spending it with you, I promise."

"No, no, no!" she waggled her finger at me. "You boys are always monopolizing her! She's my best friend and we're all going to spend time together. You can have her later!"

Bella's lovely face was alight with joy, she hadn't looked this happy in a long time. I decided to drop the getting her alone plan and just wait until midnight. We were exchanging our gifts in private, I had things that were just for her and she said her gifts to me were personal as well.

"Fine, you can have us until midnight, then she's all mine," I kissed Bella's neck again and she hummed in pleasure. It was only an hour away; I could wait that long, barely.

"Edward! We are opening all the presents at midnight! You can have her right after." Alice shot me a look that told me arguing was going to be a waste of time. I watched as it played out in her mind and decided to avoid the drama and give in.

"Alright, Alice, I know better than to argue with you." I turned to Bella. "Our presents will wait until we're alone, okay?"

She nodded, her eyes sparkling with excitement. I was dying to know what she'd gotten me but of course she wouldn't give me a hint. None of our family members knew, or if they did they weren't thinking about it so I had to wait. It was both frustrating and refreshing, typical where my inability to read Bella's mind was concerned.

"All set!" Alice pronounced, regarding the tree happily. She'd slowly decorated the house but saved the tree until Christmas Eve so that we'd all be together. Emmett and Jasper had been sent to find the perfect tree, Esme and Rose were assigned fresh balsam branches for the mantle, Carlisle and I had to procure poinsettias and Bella and Alice took care of the mistletoe.

I took a seat next to Esme on the couch and Bella plopped down on my left side. I put an arm around her and rested my head on her shoulder, the soft red cashmere sweater tickling my cheek. "Did you put mistletoe in our house too, love?"

Both Alice and Bella giggled. "Yes, it's there," she told me with a happy grin. I saw what it looked like in Alice's mind, there was mistletoe hanging from every doorway and one in the shower and over our bed. My Bella had certainly been thorough.

"You don't need mistletoe for me to kiss you, you know," I informed her.

She laughed. "I know." Then she stared at me for a moment and all of a sudden my lips were on hers. How I loved her power! I didn't hear her command, I just acted. She pulled back as the room erupted into laughter. "I'll use any method I can to get you to kiss me," she said with a little giggle. I tightened my arms around her, more than willing to keep on kissing her.

"You're more likely to need use your power to get them off you than on," Jasper informed her sarcastically, ruffling her hair as he walked to the loveseat. Alice danced over to join him.

Emmett ran from the room and was back a moment later, a Santa hat perched on his head. He looked rather ridiculous and Bella burst out laughing. "I guess you're big enough to be Santa."

"Hey, there is not one ounce of fat on this body!" he gestured down at himself.

"I'm sure there's an ounce or two in there somewhere," Alice said with conviction.

"No way! I'll prove it to you!" Just like that his shirt was off and his hands were on the button of his jeans when Rose smacked him upside the head.

"Don't open my Christmas present in front of everyone," she said with a smirk.

Emmett looked momentarily dazed but snapped out of it quickly and gave Rose a giant smile. "Okay, that's just for you. But you tell them there's no fat on me."

Rose laughed. "Oh but there is." _My big fathead, _she thought fondly.

Emmett's face fell comically. "What? Rosie…"

"It's in your head, of course," she ran her hands through his hair.

Jasper laughed. "You are a fathead, Emmett, she's quite right."

"Humph, none of you are getting your presents now."

Bella shrugged nonchalantly. "I can do without another key book anyway."

Emmett started howling, gripping his stomach as he laughed. "That was so awesome! You know there's a whole series? I think I'll get you one for every single birthday."

Bella rolled her eyes. "I guess it's a good thing I won't be getting any older then. No more birthdays."

"Says you! We will celebrate every year, just you wait and see. Really, Bella, you're not going to deprive me of the chance to give you presents, are you?" Alice demanded; a scowl on her little face.

"Like you need an excuse to buy me things? You get me stuff all the time, what does it matter if it's for my birthday or not?"

"It just does!"

Esme laughed gently. "Trust us, Bella; you will be unable to forget birthdays. We don't want to forget the moment we became a complete family." I knew there was no way Bella could fight with Esme on that point.

Sure enough, she just looked embarrassed and defeated. "Okay, but we need to celebrate everyone's birthdays then."

"Naturally!" Alice announced with a big smile.

"Do you even know all your birthdays anymore? And do you celebrate actual birthdays or vampire birthdays?"

"We tend to celebrate the vampire birthdays. I don't remember anything from before I was turned. It's just easier that way." Alice spoke in a subdued way; she'd long ago learned to live with the fact that she knew little of her past. Jasper ran his hand down her arm and linked his fingers with hers.

"That makes sense," Bella said softly and I knew she was feeling bad for having asked the question.

"Hey, let's not get all maudlin, it's Christmas!" Emmett pulled out a bag that he'd stashed behind the couch. I groaned. _Shut up, Edward, it's awesome!_

Emmett plunked a Santa hat on each of our heads. Alice muttered about her hair but then decided we all looked adorable and started snapping photos. I had to admit the red hat looked lovely on Bella, but then again, anything did. "Can we open presents now?" he demanded, sounding like a five year old.

We all looked at Alice; she was the one in charge of such decisions. She scrunched up her face for a second but then decided. I smiled; maybe I would get Bella alone at midnight after all. "Alright," she allowed.

"Yes!" Emmett shouted and dived underneath the tree. He dispersed the presents in a matter of seconds; we all had rather daunting piles in front of us.

Carlisle cleared his throat. "I just wanted to say, Merry Christmas. I am very grateful that we're all finally together. I'm thankful that Bella has joined this family and made it whole. I look forward to spending every Christmas from here on out just like this, united and happy." Esme gave him a hug and we all seconded his heartfelt emotion. I loved Bella even more at that moment; her presence really did make us complete in a way I'd never realized we weren't before. Even Rosalie was happier though she'd probably deny that if asked.

"Let's get to it, shall we?" Emmett asked before tearing into a brightly wrapped package. I was far more interested in Bella's gifts than my own, particularly when she opened a red negligee. God I loved Alice.

Jasper felt my response and glanced up from his own gifts and chuckled. "You should have had Edward open that one, Alice; it's clearly more for him than it is for her." Everyone started laughing and I shrugged. I couldn't help it, I was a newlywed. I was supposed to feel this way.

"If you wear that for me later, it counts as one of your presents to me," I pointed out hopefully to Bella.

She giggled. "We'll just have to see if Santa has deemed you naughty or nice won't we?" I didn't really have anything I could say to that so I tore into my presents, wanting them open so I could unwrap my wife instead. I liked all the clothes and books and electronics my family had bestowed upon me. Jasper's gift, in particular, thrilled me. He'd always been good with carpentry, but it was apparent I hadn't really known how good he really was. He'd carved Bella's face into a large chunk of wood, it was a perfect likeness.

"Jas, man, this is gorgeous. Thank you."

Bella sounded equally awed as she held a replica of my face in her hands. "Jasper, I didn't know you could do this. It's beautiful."

He shrugged self-depreciatingly. "I had a lot of time to learn." Bella handed me her carving and went and wrapped her arms around him.

"Thank you, it's incredible. I can't wait to put them in our home." Jasper returned her hug and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I'm glad you like them."

"We love them," I corrected, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks, Jas."

"Seriously, bro, these are great!" Emmett exclaimed, holding his own Rose replica. I saw that everyone was holding one; Jasper had carved one for each of us.

"You're an artist," Bella told him and all of us seconded the motion. Alice was beaming with pride at Jasper's work.

"Okay, enough! Back to your presents, people," he murmured bashfully. Bella gave him another squeeze before returning to her gifts.

I was done before Bella was so I admired the clothes Alice had chosen for her, they were very stylish but also still Bella, not revealing or overly fancy. Bella was actually pleased by them and Alice was happy with her reaction. Emmett disappeared and came back with a gigantic panda bear, around five feet tall. "For when I'm not around to give you a hug, not that I won't be around often," he informed Bella as he handed it to her. Bella laughed and told him she loved it.

She picked up a box and read that it was from Rosalie. _This should be good, _Jasper thought. We weren't exactly sure where Rose and Bella stood these days. The open hostility was gone but Rose was wary of Bella's gift and Bella was scared of making her angry so they just gave one another tight smiles and mostly ignored each other. Bella took a deep breath before prying the lid off the box. Her face wrinkled in confusion as she reached in and took out some metal. Rose laughed at her perplexed expression.

"It's a crankshaft for your car," Rose informed her, amusement clear in her tone.

"Oh, um, thanks Rose," Bella glanced at me and I shrugged. Then I got a flash from Rose's mind and smiled at her reassuringly.

"I'm going to be replacing it, the pistons and spark plugs. I thought you could do it with me, learn some more." It was a peace offering, in a matter of speaking.

Bella's face lit in a smile. "Thanks, Rose, I'd really like that."

Rosalie nodded. "Let's see what you got me."

Bella's giggled. "You girls have to open them at the same time. I got you all the same thing." So Alice and Esme sorted through their packages, Alice with a wide smile on her face as she'd clearly already seen what Bella got them. I was insanely curious because Bella wouldn't tell me and Alice wasn't letting me see what they were. They all had the same package, a long thin box wrapped in dark green paper. They exchanged glances and pulled off the paper at the same time. They lifted the lid and identical smiles illuminated their faces followed quickly by peals of laughter.

"What is it?" Emmett demanded, thankfully just as curious as I was. As if coordinated, they all lifted their presents at the same time and then the room shook from the raucous laughter of all of us. Bella had gifted them with a silver belt, from which dangled a pretty silver key. My girl had a great sense of humor, clearly. The key hung just far enough to point the way to the other key.

"I thought I'd give your men a little assistance," Bella giggled and then bit her lip, watching us with wide eyes that belied her words.

"Epic," Emmett gasped between laughs.

Carlisle's shoulders shook with his laughter as he attempted to thank Bella. "Thanks, I mean, not that I need the help, but…" he broke off, not sure what to say, sending everyone into more gales of laughter. He stopped trying and just snickered with the rest of us. _You go, Carlisle! _Even Jasper's mind sounded amused. _I always knew the old guy had it in him! I wonder what she got me! _Emmett's mental voice mind started producing images I didn't want to see so I quickly tried to tune him out.

"I'm almost afraid to open mine now, Little Sis!" Emmett exclaimed but he tore into the package anyway. He grinned in delight as he held up a plaque that said Number One Teacher. "I'm number one! Take that, Jasper!"

Jasper laughed and held up his matching plaque. "I don't know about that."

Emmett's face fell. "What gives?" he demanded to Bella who was giggling again. I loved seeing her so happy.

"You're tied for first place so you both got one. I know they're kind of funny but they're both really true. I wouldn't be nearly as functional today without both of you." Emmett was clearly satisfied and he gave Bella a big hug.

"I had a lot of fun training you." He turned to Jasper. "Maybe we should open a school for new vampires!" he was off and running, picturing a Harry Potteresque training school in his mind.

"Ha, no thanks! I've dealt with a lot more newborns than you have, we got lucky with Bella. Trust me on that one," Jasper told him. "I love my plaque, Bella; it's going up on my bedroom wall."

"I'm glad you like it," she said sweetly. She looked nervous as Carlisle started to open her gift to him. I took her hand in mine and gave her a reassuring squeeze. He gasped as he read the inscription and then he looked up at her with love shining in his eyes.

"Bella, it's wonderful!" He handed it to Esme and walked over to Bella and drew her to her feet and pulled her into a hug. She held him tightly and buried her head in his chest.

"What is it?" Emmett demanded, put out because he didn't know what was going on.

Esme smiled as she held up the engraved glass plaque. She read it aloud. "Even though you were not there as I came upon this Earth, nor the one responsible or present at my birth, you loved me, taught me and guided me as I have changed and grown, and you've never made me feel like I was not your own." Her voice cracked with emotion as she read the lines and it was easy to see why Carlisle was so overcome.

"That's beautiful," Alice breathed. Truly, it was. And it could have easily come from any of us but the fact that it came from his newest daughter, one who was struggling with the loss of her own family, really meant something to Carlisle. His mind was a whirlwind of happiness and guilt and love. _I will love her forever, Charlie. I'm not taking your place but she's mine too. I will always take care of her for you. _He and Bella clung to each other for a couple of minutes before he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and stepped back.

"That's the best present I've ever gotten in my life, save for the gift that is each one of you," he told her.

Bella smiled up at him. "It's true," she told him.

He brushed his fingers over her cheek. "It always will be," he vowed.

"Alright," Jasper broke in, his voice sounding ragged. "It's a great present but can we dial back on the emotion a little? I feel like I'm drowning over here." Poor Jasper, there was so much emotion coming from the two of them, plus the rest of us were all feeling pretty overcome as well.

"Yeah, enough of this girlie stuff," Emmett commanded, though there was no heat in his tone. He looked very much like the panda bear he'd given Bella in that moment.

The packages were all opened so there wasn't much left to do other than to get my wife home for our own gift exchange. Carlisle released her and I took her hand in mine. "Are you ready to go open some more presents, love?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes, let's go." She gave hugs to everyone, saving Rose for last and approaching her with caution. Rose eyed her for a second before reaching out and giving her a quick hug. "You did a good thing for him," she murmured. "And I like my gift, very much." She shot a smile at Emmett. "Are you ready for me to model it for you?"

Emmett dropped the video game he'd been thinking of playing and immediately sprang to his feet. "Let's go!" Rose laughed and slipped her hand in his. I knew that everyone wanted alone time so I tugged on Bella's hand and we made our way home.

"They liked their presents," she said, sounding incredibly surprised and happy about that fact.

"Of course they did, they were perfect gifts." I was very anxious to see what she had in store for me. I had been worried about her reaction to one of my gifts but after seeing what she got for the others I had a feeling she'd like it after all.

We walked into our front door and she started to go past me but I yanked her to a halt. "What?" she asked and I pointed above us, where the mistletoe was dangling over our heads. "Oh," she flashed me a wicked smile and then threw her arms around me and got on her tiptoes and kissed me passionately. Who needed presents? We could open them later. I started to steer her towards the bedroom but she pulled away from me.

"Oh no you don't, we have presents to exchange!" She dashed into the bedroom and came out with a big flat wrapped package. "Here's the first one," she handed it to me and twisted her hands together nervously. I wasn't sure what she had to be nervous about, I'd never dislike anything she gave me.

I undid the tape and opened the gift slowly rather than tearing into it. The paper tore away to reveal a portrait and I smiled at the beauty in front of me. It was a painting of my favorite picture of Bella on our wedding day. I carried a small copy of it in my wallet so I'd have it with me at all times. The photo had been taken with me standing directly behind the photographer and she looked at me with such pure love on her face that it had floored me. I had had to restrain myself from shoving the photographer out of the way in my need to get to her. Her cheeks were rosy and her curls framed her face. Her brown eyes shone with happiness. She'd never looked lovelier to me than that moment.

"Bella," I breathed, unable to really say anymore than her name as I took in the beauty in the picture and the beauty before me. I met her anxious gaze and gave her a reassuring smile. "I love it. So much. Who painted it?"

Relief flashed across her face. "Alice found a local artist and gave him the picture a couple of months ago. You like that one so much so I thought you'd like a painted version."

"I do. I don't have enough words to express how much I love it." I pulled her back into my arms and poured all my emotions into the kiss. She clung tightly to me and returned my kiss fervently. This time I was the one who broke our clinch, because I wanted to give her one of my presents. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small box.

"Merry Christmas, my love." She glanced at the box and then at me, her little face screwing up. I chuckled, knowing that she was worried about extravagance again. Who said I needed to read her mind? I understood her pretty well without my gift. "Just open it," I said with a chuckle.

"Fine," she huffed, slipping the top open. She stared for a second and then burst into giggles.

"I thought it went well with the gift you gave the girls," I pointed out, which made her laugh harder. I pulled the chain out of the box and gently opened the clasp to slide it around her neck. The white gold key pendant dangled daintily from the chain, a diamond heart on the end of it.

"I can't believe you got me a key," she gasped between giggles.

I laughed with her. "Well, I got it for two reasons. Obviously because of our inside joke but also because…" I broke off, unsure if she'd think I was too cheesy.

"Because why?"

"Because you really do hold the key to my heart. It was completely locked up before you came along and you fit it perfectly." I watched as the sweetest smile curved her lips. "I never thought I'd find anyone who could make me feel like you do. You're my miracle Bella."

She was in my arms then, kissing me all over my face. I boosted her up so her legs were wrapped around me and carried her over to my piano bench, sitting down with her still on my lap. Her busy fingers started working at the buttons of my shirt but I stilled her. "I have something more for you, love."

"What?" she asked; her voice slightly impatient. I plucked her off my lap and sat her on the bench next to me. Her lips turned down in a pretty little pout that was irresistible, so I leaned down and captured her lips with my own. She started to respond immediately but I pulled away again and she crossed her arms, irritated with me. I started to play her lullaby and the pout turned into a smile.

"I wrote you this song before I truly knew you, back when I never thought you would be mine. I loved you but you didn't know it. You were my unattainable dream," I told her as my fingers moved over the keys. "It's melancholy, really. Even so, you loved it and I hummed it for you every night we spent together."

"I love my song," she told me, putting her hand on my knee and giving it a squeeze. "I love that you wrote it for me."

I played her song all the way through, frowning at the morose ending. Then I put a hand on her cheek. "The end of the song made me terribly sad, because I was sure that one day I would lose you. Never did I fathom that you'd be with me forever."

She smiled. "You would have if you would have just listened to me back then."

I chuckled. "I didn't realize quite how stubborn you were at the time; or how very right you were. We belong together. I'm glad you knew it and I'm thankful that you fought for me, even when I was afraid to let you." I kissed her softly. "I wrote you a new song, Bella, because you don't need a lullaby anymore and there's nothing sad about our relationship. I want to celebrate our love and this is a way to show you how." Her golden eyes were shining as I began to play her new song.

I'd had it in my head for months, back even before we'd gotten married. It had started as a verse that repeated over and but slowly it expanded into a song that showed all the happiness I felt when I thought of her, of us. I played without looking at the keys, my eyes on her, watching the emotion on her face. The song was light and free, like I felt when I was with her. It was my love for her in musical form.

Bella put a hand to her lips and her eyes swam with love. "Oh, Edward," she whispered.

"Do you like it?" I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

She nodded emphatically. "I love it. It's amazing. It's like…" she trailed off and closed her eyes as the notes washed over her. "It's like you captured my feelings in music." She couldn't have paid me a better compliment.

"They're our feelings for each other, love." The song ended on a high note, a trilling happy sound that might have been a mirror reflection of my feeling at this moment, with Bella's golden eyes and smile shining with love for me.

"This is the best present ever," she whispered, her lips meeting mine again. I crushed her to me and pulled her back on my lap. I reached for the hem of her sweater but she pushed my hands away. "I still have something more for you."

"It can wait," I groaned, reaching for her again. She laughed and slipped off my lap.

"Oh no, you made me wait; now it's your turn!" She dashed into the bedroom and shut the door. I decided I was going to give her one minute and then I was going in. I heard the door handle opening so I stood up and prepared to drag her back to the bed but she stopped me dead in my tracks when I saw her wearing the red negligee Alice had gotten her. It was cut low, just covering her perfect breasts. The silky material cut off at mid-thigh, making her legs look like they went on for miles. The bright red on her pale skin was just a gorgeous combination and I felt venom welling in my mouth.

I took a step toward her and she shook her head. "No, sit on the couch, this is not the present," she said, gesturing to her sexy body.

"I beg to differ," I said huskily as I sat on the couch and patted my lap. She laughed and sat on the opposite end from me. I reached for her and she edged further away. "This is not my idea of a present," I pointed out sulkily.

She tilted her head back and laughed, her silky brown curls moving with her, falling over her shoulders and covering her lovely chest. I started to reach out to touch her and she shook her head again. "Be patient, what happened to the guy that managed to wait for months on end?"

"He found out what he was missing," I told her with a sexy grin, the one that made her bend to my will. I reached for her again and she pulled away again.

"Don't make me make you stop," she warned with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Alright!" I threw up my hands in surrender. "If you're not my present," I let my eyes roam over her beautiful body, "then where is it?"

"It's right here," she said, pointing at herself. I was confused, wasn't that what I'd said all along?

"And that's exactly what I wanted," I reached for her again.

"No, not my body!" she said in an exasperated voice, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me.

She was confounding me, as usual. How I wish I could read her mind! "Bella, love, you know that I consider you the greatest gift I could ever get." If she just wanted me to appreciate her for hours, days, I would.

She shook her head and smiled. "Edward, sit back, okay?" I did as she asked because I was determined to make her happy again. "Now clear your mind." Like that was possible, I could hear Emmett's depraved thoughts from here. I did my best to shut everything out and concentrated only on the lovely girl in front of me. "Are you ready?" she asked.

"Yes." For what I had no idea.

"I don't know if this is going to work but I'm going to try." I nodded, trying to stay patient as I waited for whatever she was going to do. She tilted her head and stared at me as if she could see right through my skin into my brain. I stared back, wondering if she was trying to make me do something. Maybe my present was to be her controlling me again. I would love that present. My mind started to fill with memories of her telling me to touch her and my hands moving determinedly down her beautiful torso and then…

_Edward? _

"What, love?"

_Can you hear me?_

"Well of course I can hear you; you're sitting two feet away from me and…" I broke off. She hadn't moved her lips. She was talking to me. I could _hear _her. "I can hear you? Your thoughts? What? How?"

Her soft pink lips stretched into a triumphant smile. _I'm so glad it worked. Jasper and I have been working on this for days. _I reached for her then, crushing her hands in my own. "How?"

_There's like a wall in my mind, a protective barrier that's always been there. You know how scared I've always been of people thinking I was a freak if they knew what I was thinking. _I nodded, captivated at hearing her in my mind, finally. _Well, Jasper thinks that was the first true manifestation of my control, shielding my thoughts from everyone without knowing it. He had me picture it as a wall, a barrier that I could remove when I wanted to. It works, obviously._

It was a good thing I could hear her thoughts right now because she couldn't talk if she tried. My lips were on hers without my consciously thinking about it, her beautiful thoughts echoing in my head as my tongue moved to her neck.

_Edward, do you know what I feel like when you touch me? _I shook my head as my teeth sank into the hollow between her neck and shoulder. _It's like I'm burning, but it's a good burn. I can feel it all through my body; a fire that consumes me but I don't want to escape it. I just want to feel this way forever. _I groaned and yanked the strap down her shoulder. "So beautiful, Bella. Your thoughts," I murmured against her silky skin. "I've always wanted your thoughts. It's," kiss, "better than I ever," kiss, "thought it would be."

My lips met hers again. I was the one consumed, caught up in a madness at her thoughts. I got impatient with the lovely nightgown, a barrier between me and what I wanted most. I pulled it off her with one tug, swallowing her gasp as it tore from her body. _I love it when you tear my clothes off, Edward. It lets me just how much you want me. All those months of perfect control...when you lose it I feel like the most powerful woman in the world. I made you want me so much that you let go. You wouldn't touch me then, but you will now, won't you? _

I didn't answer her with words; I answered her with my body. My hands were everywhere on her, she'd have bruises if she were human but I couldn't make myself be gentler for her. I wanted her so much. Her words thoughts were igniting the fire she spoke of within me. Her hands gripped and yanked my shirt off, sending buttons flying. I barely noticed as I took her breast in my mouth, sucking and nipping at it. Bella moaned. _God, Edward, what you do to me. Do I make you feel the same way? Do you crave me whenever I'm in the same room as you? _

I nodded against her breast, unwilling to release it to answer her. My hands gripped her hips tightly as I made way down her body. I slicked my tongue over her bellybutton and smiled at the E and B that hung there. _Are you going to taste me now? _I moved lower and smiled up at her. _It drives me wild when you do. _And so I did. It was a beautiful thing, touching her, tasting her and hearing her, both her thoughts and her moans. Her thoughts became jumbled, barely coherent, as I worked her over with my tongue. _So good. Hot. Edward. Only you. Mine. Hurts. _I started to pull away at that thought but she put both her hands in my hair and held me there. _Good hurt, like the fire. Want more. _I smiled and continued, my tongue moving quickly over her. Her thoughts became completely disjointed then. I heard only _Yes, Edward _and she came apart under me, thrashing and moaning my name. Nothing would ever sound better than that. Nothing.

_I want you inside me. Now. _Okay, maybe that sounded even better. I undid my jeans and yanked them off. Bella opened beneath me and I slid into her. I was never more at home than when I was inside her. Her eyes met mine and she smiled as I moved slowly within her. _I can't believe I haven't thought this for you yet. _"What?" _I love you. _I shuddered as her words moved through me, the truth of them just there in her mind. "I love you too, so much."

Her hips moved in time with mine, the need to rush I'd felt earlier sated as I looked into her beautiful face. I wanted to savor this moment, another first for us. She'd shared a part of herself with me that I never thought I'd have. It was a purely perfect moment. _What are you thinking? _I chuckled as she asked me the question I must have asked her a billion times. She joined me, our mutual laughter moving through our connected bodies.

"I think this is the most incredible experience of my very long life," I told her. She smiled and kissed me softly, her fingers curling into my hair and scratching gently against my scalp. I purred against her lips and she smiled. _I like when you do that, it tickles. _I purred again and she giggled. I nipped her chin and kissed along her jaw, reveling in the beauty around me.

"Bella," I stopped kissing her but kept moving inside her. _What? _"This is the best gift ever. Thank you for giving me all of you." _You always had all of me; I just didn't know how to show you. _"You did, I just love hearing you."

_Ha, well you know I'm not going to do it all the time. Sometimes I just need to keep my thoughts to myself, you know? _"I know; I just love that you can let me in when you want to." _Yes, now I can speak to you in secret, none of them will know. _I chuckled and kissed her again, starting to move in earnest now. _That feels so good, Edward. _"It does," I agree. Her hands tightened in my hair and her hips started moving faster.

_There is nothing better than this. Being connected to you. It's when I truly feel whole. _"Yes, so true," I agree, kissing along her neck and as I thrust harder into her. _Faster. _I complied. _Yes, just like that. I'm so close, Edward. Are you? _I nodded as my lips traveled back up to her jaw. Our bodies moved together quickly, the sound of them crashing together should have been cacophonous but instead it was music to my ears. I kissed her harder and felt her start to tighten around me. _Yes, now, Edward. _I let myself go with her and her thoughts, my thoughts, were like one in that moment. They weren't really words, they were just…love.

I looked down at her and brushed the hair off her shoulders. "Thank you for giving yourself to me this way. I love you so much. I don't even know how to express it enough." _You do every time you look at me. You did in your song. I love you. I do, Edward, I always do._

I smiled and kissed her gently. "I do, too. Merry Christmas, love." _Merry Christmas._ _Let's make love all night, okay? _"Do you even have to ask?" I hurried to comply with my wife's wishes, it was the least I could do on Christmas, after all.

* * *

**A/N Hope you enjoyed the Cullen Christmas! I'm relieved I'm done on the whole gift thing. I put way more thought into their gifts than I do my own family's. Wonder what that say about me? Anyway, if you want to see Bella's pendant or Carlisle's plaque, they're linked to on my profile.**

**I must thank you all for the support, the pimping of the story, etc. I've seen an influx of readers lately and I know that's due to you, either through word of mouth or through the Indies. So thank you, all. Special thanks to InfinityPoet who rec'd me in her story, Of Sacred Bonds, sequel to Heavenly Scent. I read and loved them both, it's like Twilight with an Edward who embraces his love for Bella pretty much from the start. Refreshingly non-emo! So I rec her right back because her story brought a smile to my face.**

**I put a new SL Outtake chapter in the Outtake pile, by the way. It's from the wedding, a little Charlie/Tanya interaction that was requested (I promise it doesn't get R rated, though I think Bella would have done more than chop Tanya's hair if she knew about their little exchange!)**

**I'm wordy today, my beta would tell you that is every day, but wanted to remind you Indies voting is still ongoing at www (dot) theindietwificawards (dot) com. This story is there but so are several other amazing ones as well. Last year I used The Indies to find several new stories to follow, I highly recommend it.**

**My beta, rameau and some friends, including the aforementioned InfinityPoet, Frenchbeanz, WordNinja Ali and AG0418, are going to be kicking off a writing competition in the next couple of weeks. If you don't like the wolf pack, this is the competition for you. I'll post final details here when we have them and if you're interested, PM me and I'll hook you up with all we've got!  
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**Okay, I'll shut up now, thanks again for reading, hopefully I'll see you next Saturday! What's the best gift anyone's ever given you?**


	39. Chapter 39

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 39

**EPOV**

"Hello, brother dear. Still daydreaming about the holidays?" Alice asked me with a knowing grin, throwing herself down on the couch next to me and nestling into my side with her head on my shoulder.

To say that Christmas had been magical would be an understatement. Bella's gift to me, the sharing of her innermost thoughts, was priceless. She would never be able to top it. The fact that she was willing to let me in like that meant more to me than I could even express. Not that I didn't try, both with words and with my body. I think she got the message.

She made me play our new song for her several more times that night and each time her eyes lit up with pleasure. I loved that we now had a song that symbolized our eternity instead of my sadness that my love for her couldn't last. It could and it would forever. The thought was humbling but where once I ran from it, I now wholeheartedly embraced it.

I presented Bella with the rest of her present much later. Being allowed entrance into her head had driven everything else out of my mind including my New Year's surprise. I took her to New York for the holiday weekend and we stayed in the Plaza Hotel. We went to Radio City and Rockefeller Center and to see _Guys and Dolls _on Broadway. I loved watching her take it all in with those golden eyes of hers filled with wonder. There was such beauty in her reaction to things it just made the experiences seem new to me, even though I'd been to all those places before.

And seeing and hearing people's reactions to her! Usually it drove me crazy but she was so impossibly beautiful in the dresses that Alice had packed for her; the forest green cocktail dress she wore to the show, the red slip dress she wore to Radio City and of course the blue dress she wore on New Year's Eve, as we danced on the rooftop of the hotel, just the two of us staring into one another's eyes. It had been sheer perfection. And for once I didn't mind when men found her desirable. They should because she was. Their covetous glances had all gone unnoticed by my wife, as usual Bella didn't have a clue of the effect she had on men.

Alice poked me in the shoulder and I jerked myself back into the present. "I suppose that I was," I replied with a grin. "It was good to get away for awhile." We'd needed some time for just the two of us. Everything had been so insane since we'd gotten to Hanover. Bella's change, the training, her faked death, her power and even more training…I was eternally grateful to my brother's for all they'd done to help her adjust to this life but I did miss my wife. "I missed her," I admitted to Alice, because I could.

Her hand found mine and she gave it a squeeze. "I know. I missed Jasper as well. Not that I'm not thrilled that he helped Bella," she hastened to add but I silenced her with a finger to her lips.

"I get it." And I did. I was so thankful that my family had welcomed Bella with open arms. It was going even better than I'd anticipated but there were times when I wanted to take her away from them and just lose myself with her for days, years even. Going away for the weekend had been a perfect way to reconnect. "Did you and Jasper have a good New Year's?"

Alice smiled a very satisfied smile and I was almost sorry I'd asked. "Yes, we did. We took up residence in the lagoon for the weekend. It was perfect." I got flashes of wet, naked limbs and quickly shoved the image out of my mind.

"When will Emmett and Rose be back?" They'd gone to some bed and breakfast in Vermont.

"In a couple hours, Emmett catches the scent of a bear on the way home so of course they have to stop," Alice informed me with a giggle. I tipped my head against hers and just basked in being with my sister again. We'd spent some time together while Jasper and Bella had been working on her power but I had been neglecting her lately, holing up with my music, completing our song. "I wonder if Esme has driven Bella crazy yet? I know when she's on a shopping excursion with me she's usually begging to come home by now," Alice's little lip stuck out in an indignant pout.

I chuckled at her expression. "I think Bella likes shopping for home redecorating a lot more than she does clothes." That was the understatement of the century but why make Alice feel any worse?

"I really must do something about her," Alice muttered. "It's a good thing I have forever because it's going to take awhile to wear away at her."

"I like her just the way she is, thank you very much. I don't need you turning her into another you." Alice pulled back and glared at me. "One is quite enough and I'm right fond of the original." She laughed and sat back against me again. _Good save, favorite brother of mine. "_Always, favorite sister of mine."

"So, tell me, what's it like being inside the one head that you never thought you could get into?" How to describe it? There was nothing in the world like it.

I went for the one word that made the most sense to me, the one place I never thought I'd be. "Heaven." Bella had given me heaven on earth; she was my heart and my soul.

_Heaven? My brother believes in heaven now? Will wonders never cease? _

"She changed me. You know that."

She giggled. "Yeah, I know that. I _told_ you that when I first saw her," Alice pointed out in that smug, all knowing voice she had when someone challenged her visions.

"Yes, but if I had listened to you then, would we necessarily be where we are now?" Alice, of all people, knew how things could change if one different step was taken.

She sighed. "Probably not, but you should never bet against me."

I kissed her spiky hair. "I never will again. Where's Jasper?"

"I told him I wanted some alone time with you, so he's hunting. Carlisle's at the hospital and you and I have about an hour before Bella and Esme return home."

"So what do you want to do?"

She studied me for a second and smiled softly. "Just talk." _I miss it. _I did too. We used to spend hours just talking, usually Alice speaking in her mind and me responding verbally, which annoyed the rest of the family to no end.

"What would you like to just talk about?"

The smile faded from her face. _I'm worried._

"About what?" I had a clue but I wanted her to verbalize it. She hadn't seen anything so far but that didn't mean we were safe.

She rolled her eyes at me. _You know perfectly well what. _When I just stared at her she sighed. "Bella."

"Have you seen something?" I asked urgently. I knew she probably hadn't, she would have told me already if she had but I couldn't stop the panic that welled inside me when Alice said she was worried about her. Alice was never wrong.

She looked highly displeased as her mouth turned down. "No, I haven't seen anything yet, it's just…" she shot me an apprehensive look. "Tanya's in Europe and she was so mad at Bella and she's so close to the Volturi and I'm scared." The words tumbled out in that lightning quick way she had when she was nervous.

A bolt of fear shot up my spine. "She wouldn't! You haven't seen…"

"No, of course I haven't seen anything yet but she's in Greece, Edward. She's very close to them and if she's still as mad as she was when she left, she may just tell them." I couldn't comprehend it. Tanya was family. She'd been completely out of line when she was here and even she knew that. I heard it in her mind even as she touched me and flirted. That's why I hadn't thought anything of it. She was far less invasive with me this time out than she used to be. But Bella had never seen that before and if the situation had been reversed I would have acted first and asked questions later as well. I didn't blame Bella for what she'd done. She couldn't help herself.

"Alice, she wouldn't do that to us. She may be angry…"

"_Angry? _Edward, she was shaking with rage. She thought about attacking Bella before they left. She's thought about coming and attacking her since then. She…" she broke off and I waited. "She's thought about telling the Volturi about Bella's power," Alice admitted in a whisper.

"_What? When?" _I was on my feet then, pacing around the room.

"Edward, calm down. She hasn't made a decision. Every time she decided to do it, she changed her mind a couple of seconds later. Now she could have been doing that just to throw me off but I honestly think she doesn't want to hurt our family like that. If there was any way that the Volturi would take Bella and we'd be left alone? Yes, I think she'd tell them then. But she knows that won't happen."

_How could she?_ How could she even think about having the love of my life taken away from me? I thought we were friends, family. "Have you tried calling her?" I hadn't, and maybe I should. Maybe I could convince her that what happened with Bella was an unfortunate accident and that she shouldn't seek to punish her, to punish us, for something that was unintentional.

"Of course I did. She's not taking my calls." Her eyes went blank for a second and I got a flash of Tanya looking at her cell phone and hitting ignore. "And clearly she'll ignore yours as well. She doesn't want to speak to us right now. She's too raw. She even left her own family over the holidays," Alice said sadly. "Nobody should be alone over Christmas but she really didn't want to be around Kate and Garrett. I've already tried calling them and Eleazar and Carmen, they're all deep in the Alaskan wilderness and I can't reach them. She's not going to answer her phone anyway, no matter who calls."

"Did she at least take Irina with her?"

"Irina's off visiting some friends in Ireland. Tanya clearly didn't want to be with her either. I think she wanted to go somewhere where nobody knew her, where nobody would comment on her hair." Tanya was incredibly vain and Bella had hit her where it really hurt. I wished that she'd just punched her instead of permanently altering her the way she did.

"I wish we could have stopped her," I said softly. Alice's hand reached for mine and she pulled me back down next to her. _I'm sorry. By the time I saw, it was just too late. I didn't know what she was even doing at the time. I still can't get much of a read on her power. If she plans it ahead of time, then I can but if it's a last second decision, the person she's commanding is already acting before I finish seeing it. _There was defeat in her mental voice and I had to put a stop to it.

"Alice, it's not your fault."

She looked up at me with sad eyes. "But it's my job Edward. I have to _see!" _

I took both her hands in mine. The last time she'd sounded this way had been after Jasper had tried to attack Bella on her birthday. "You can't see everything, Alice. How many times have you helped this family with your visions? How many mistakes have you stopped?" She shrugged. "Exactly. Too many for even us to count. You can't beat yourself up for something you couldn't have foreseen. Bella's gift was something none of us saw coming. Now, we just need to work on making sure she stays protected. I can't let them have her, Alice. _I won't_." I spoke with conviction. They would not touch Bella. I'd die before I let that happen.

She tightened her grip on my hands. "_We _won't. We all love her, Edward, and we'd all fight for her if it came down to it." I didn't want to have to fight anymore. Why couldn't we just be left to live in peace? I felt like taking off down to Antarctica and just living in the middle of nowhere for the next couple centuries.

_That's not even remotely feasible, Edward. Can you imagine Emmett with no form of entertainment other than the rest of us? He would drive us all insane. Not to mention that they don't exactly have delivery services there? How would I shop? You and Rose couldn't have any of your precious cars on some polar ice cap. We'd all be at each other's throats and probably kill one another. The Volturi wouldn't even need to be involved. _I scowled but I knew she was right.

"Why can't we just be left alone?" _It's the price we pay for our gifts and our immortality I guess. I don't know if it's a comfort or not, I don't even see anything yet, but whatever is going to happen is going to happen soon. I can feel it. _I wanted to argue with her, I wanted to stick my head in the sand and pretend that we'd never have to face another threat again but I knew that Alice was right. I felt it too. I sighed and put my arm around her and just held on. She'd give us a warning and we'd make a plan. Everything would be fine. It had to be.

**BPOV**

I followed Esme through the home furnishings store, delighted to be shopping for something that actually interested me. When Edward and I had gotten back from New York City, Esme asked if I'd like to come shopping with her. She wanted to redecorate her and Carlisle's master bedroom as well as the bathrooms in the main house. I thought it'd be fun to spend some time with her and to do a little redecorating, not that I didn't love what Esme had done with our place but I wanted to make it more our own.

"Are you sure you don't mind?" I asked her for the fifth time. I couldn't help it; I didn't want to offend her in any way.

Esme laughed as she had all the other times. "Bella, I don't mind in the least. I am thrilled that you want to make over your space and I'm glad that you're letting me be a part of it! I love doing things like this," she assured me with a sweet smile.

"Yes, but you decorated our house and I really do love it, I just…"

"Want to leave your own stamp on it," she finished for me.

"Well, yes, but…"

"Bella, I want you to redecorate. I used basic colors and schemes because I knew you liked simple things but I always hoped you would redecorate when you were ready. And since you are, can I have that bedspread in your guest room? It will go perfectly in the downstairs bedroom, since I want to do it in yellows and greens."

"Well of course! It's yours; you don't have to ask me for it back."

"Bella, what am I going to do with you?" Esme asked in exasperation. I giggled at the sight of Esme losing her cool and then she giggled and pretty soon we were holding onto one another while laughing in the aisle of sheets.

Esme shook her head and put her hand on my shoulder when she calmed down. "You need to work on being more confident in yourself and your decisions, Bella. You're not that unsure girl that we first met two years ago. You've found your place now, so let yourself go."

I had found my place, that was true, but I didn't really know how to let myself go. "The last time I did that I sent Tanya running for the hills and probably damaged the relationship you all have had for decades."

She sighed. "While I won't deny that what happened is probably going to take awhile for Tanya to get over, in time she will. We have all the time in the world, Bella. It's not like she hasn't behaved inappropriately as well. What you did was an accident."

"It wasn't though," I whispered, admitting to her only what I'd admitted to Edward and Jasper. "I was going to attack her myself. Actually, I was really mad when she cut it herself because I wanted to do it." I braced myself for Esme's disapproval but she surprised me by laughing again.

"You would have tried, perhaps, but you would have failed. Alice saw what you wanted to do, Edward was braced to stop you, Emmett would happily have tackled you…it was just Tanya acting on her own that surprised us all. Now that we know about your gift and now that you know how to use it, we won't have a problem like that again," her voice rang with confidence that I didn't completely feel.

"How can you be so sure?" I asked as she stopped to look at some yellow thousand thread count sheets.

"Because I know you. Now that you know what you're doing, you're going to be just fine. I wonder if they have these in king size?" I was amazed that she could be that sure of me and move on as if what she'd said was no big deal. Her faith in me was undeserved and amazing.

"Let's ask the saleswoman," I suggested, pointing out a girl with long black hair looking extremely bored over by the cash register.

Esme showed her the sheets and asked if they had them in the size she was looking for and the girl just said she didn't know and turned away. Esme looked like she wanted to say something more but she glanced away to find someone else to assist her. "Wait," I said. I looked at the girl, who reminded me very much of Jessica Stanley. It must have been the frizzy hair. _Go in the back and look for the sheets. _She turned and hurried to the stock area.

Esme smiled at me. "You see, that's a good use of your powers without being abusive." I shrugged. It was nothing major and I had to keep practicing. Jasper had drilled it into my head that I needed to use my power whenever I saw the opportunity. Thus far today I'd gotten a toddler to stop throwing a tantrum and a teenager to turn down his blaring radio out in the parking lot.

"I'm hardly changing the world by having a lazy salesperson go look for some sheets," I pointed out.

Esme shook her head. "Who says you have to change the world? Nobody expects that of you."

Sometimes it felt like it, when Jasper was emphasizing just how strong I was and what potential I had. "I just feel like I should be doing something important with it."

"Like what, exactly?" she tilted her head and regarded me with interest.

"I don't know, like end wars or something?"

Esme chuckled and turned to take the sheets from the cashier. "Thank you," she said politely, even though she knew the girl had not helped her of her own free will. She took my arm and steered me back toward the towel section. "Bella, maybe eventually there will come a time when you can use your power for something important. In the meantime, just use it when it's necessary or when you see a chance to help someone. There's nothing wrong with making a difference in one life, especially not to the person you help."

That was a good way of looking at it. Ever since my power had been discovered I felt like I had a ton of pressure on my shoulders. Jasper was convinced that Aro would come knocking on our door again soon and I didn't doubt him. I saw the way he looked at me when he visited a month ago; I'd felt like I was under a microscope. I shook that thought off and decided to do what Esme recommended, just enjoy my gift and use it to help others. And, of course, bend Edward to my will, only because he wanted it.

As usual, a smile lit my face when I thought of my gorgeous husband and Esme laughed at my expression. "I think maybe you're thinking of some not so chaste ways to use your power," she said with a big grin.

I gaped at her. "How did you know that?" Was she a secret mind reader?

"A mom always knows, Bella," she said with a laugh. "I've seen that look on your face before and I've seen just what that mind of yours is capable of." She had? She'd seen me and Edward? I would die again, this time from humiliation.

"You saw us?" I whispered, completely mortified.

Esme's laugh pealed throughout the store. "No! I was talking about when you had Carlisle carry me up the stairs. He was very…" she broke off and I was grateful. "Inspired, shall we say?" I couldn't help but join her laughter.

"There's a way I could change lives! Maybe I could take requests," I suggested with a giggle which abruptly cut off at the look of interest on Esme's face. "Oh no, I don't want to go there, Esme, I feel weird enough when I do it to Edward…" Good Lord, what was I admitting to? I had to stop talking. "These are lovely towels," I thrust some crazy white towels covered with pink flamingos at her and she laughed even louder. "I'm just going to go check out the comforters," I tried to walk away but she caught my arm, still shaking with laughter.

"Bella," she choked out between chuckles, "it's no surprise that you use it on Edward in that way. Any of us would do the same and I'm sure he's not the least bit bothered by it." That would be a giant understatement. "It's nice that my controlling son has learned to not only give up some control, but to enjoy not having it." She was calm now and smiling sweetly again as she alluded to our sex life. I would never get used to this family. Then again, this was most Renee-like I'd seen her and it kind of made me feel like I was talking to my mother again. Well, Esme was my mother too and I guess she could step in and embarrass me now that Renee couldn't.

"Um, yeah, I guess that's a good thing," I agreed and this time she let me escape to the bedding area, though I could hear her giggling behind me. I had a feeling I hadn't heard the end of that conversation. I just hoped Emmett wasn't around when she told the story.

**EPOV**

Bella and Esme returned from the store laden with packages. I helped lug ours over to the house and switched bedding at Bella's request. I rather liked the blue comforter she had chosen for our bedroom, it was a simple navy with some swirls of green mixed in. Bella always did look lovely in blue and I liked the mental image I had of her lying across the new bedspread.

She came in to check it out and I decided to make the image come to life, lifting her and placing her in the center of the bed. Yes, it was a very appealing picture. I started to lower myself down next to her but she popped up and danced out of my reach. "Oh no you don't, Em and Rose will be home soon, as will Carlisle. We need a little family time now."

I sighed. "We're always with the family," I pointed out.

"Oh really?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "And where was the family this weekend?" Blissfully away from us, that's where they were. I loved them but I loved my private time with Bella even more.

I stepped toward her and she dodged to the other side of the room. "Let's go back to New York," I suggested with my most persuasive smile. "We could hole up in the Plaza, see some more shows. You know you want to."

She gave me a wicked grin and eluded me again when I reached for her. "I do." Well, alright then! I turned to grab the suitcase. "Soon. Right now, I want to go see the rest of our family. Is Alice terribly annoyed that I went shopping without her?" She looked so concerned that I stopped my quest to get her to leave town with me.

"No, we spent a little quality time together. I've neglected her terribly since we got here." Bella just shook her head but she had to know there was a kernel of truth to what I said.

"Well, if you've neglected her, so have I. That's why we're going to go over and spend some time with her and everyone else." I walked right into that one. I held my hand out to Bella and this time she took it because she knew she'd won.

"Remember when I used to always get my way? Those were good days. Whatever happened to those?" I demanded with a smile to let her know I was just playing.

She gave me a sultry smile. "I discovered my power over you and I'm not talking about mind control." I stared at her as she dropped my hand and sped over to the main house. She'd always had power over me; I just hadn't let her know it all that often.

I walked into the house and was assaulted with Emmett's raucous laughter. "You're as whipped as the rest of us, brother!" He pointed at me and laughed even harder. Bella smiled triumphantly from her spot on the loveseat next to Alice.

"Welcome to the club, son," Carlisle said with a wry grin as he gestured to the women in the room.

"What club?"

"The club where the big, bad male vampires are ruled by the smaller, badder female vampires," Emmett supplied with a huge grin, his dimples showing. "Soon Bella will be smacking you upside the head just like Rosie does to me," he winced as Rose's hand crashed down on his head. "Abuse," he muttered as the whole room burst out laughing, myself included.

_I'll never hit you, not even when you deserve it; _the most beautiful voice in the world assured me in my head. I must have gotten that goofy smile on my face that I always did when Bella let me into her mind because everyone started laughing at me again. I didn't care though; I was right where I wanted to be. I lowered myself to the floor in front of Bella and let out a groan as she ran her fingers through my hair.

Jasper kicked my leg as he walked past me to sit on the Alice's other side. "Down boy, didn't you get your fill in New York? I enjoyed not being assaulted by your hormones for a few days."

I rolled my eyes. "Please, like you haven't enjoyed the side benefits?" I knew my brother's sex lives were just as active as mine and I was a newlywed, I had an excuse.

Jasper flashed a wicked grin. "Well, now that you mention it…" Alice elbowed him and he broke off.

"You were saying?" I challenged him. He just shook his head, not risking Alice's wrath. Yes, clearly we were all in the same boat.

"So," Carlisle clearly wanted to change the subject. "Did everybody have a good New Year? I'm sorry we didn't all spend it together but I do think it was good for all of us to have a little time to ourselves."

Emmett immediately launched into a play by play of his bear hunt on the way home. I tuned out and just enjoyed Bella's fingers in my hair. Jasper kept asking Emmett questions, enjoying it as everyone feigned interest in Em's billionth bear story. _I've heard this story three times and I was there when he caught the thing, _Rose mentally sighed to herself but she smiled indulgently at Emmett. Since her talk with Bella she had really made an effort to appreciate him more, even when it meant hearing the same story over and over again.

_I wonder if I should have gotten those beige towels as well, offset the darker colors with some light, _Esme mused.

_Perhaps I could try that new medication on Linda Johnson, it might lower her blood pressure, _Carlisle's mind was filled with his patient's.

_I wonder if I could get him to re-tell the grizzly in Canada story, _Jasper wondered with a mischievous undertone. He loved to encourage Emmett to bore us all into a coma. I groaned and he chuckled. _What? I'm sure Bella's only heard the story about ten times. She needs to catch up to the rest of us. _I raised an eyebrow at him. _Okay, so we'd hear it again and she wouldn't gain on us, I get that but it's fun to encourage him and annoy you all. _I shook my head and leaned further back into Bella's caress.

_You like that? _ I nodded emphatically to her mental question. Her fingers dug further into my scalp and I had to bite back the urge to purr. _Maybe you were right and we should have stayed home, or gone back to New York. _I chuckled, even Bella was bored. Emmett stopped to look at me and I kept my face blank so he went back to talking about cornering the bear near a river. _If we were back in New York, I think I'd like to get back into that amazingly huge hot tub again. Would you like that Edward? _I nodded and shifted uncomfortably at the effect those words were having on my body. _And I could put on that black nightgown you liked so much, you know the one with all the ties in the front? _ I knew the one. I gulped and she tugged a little harder on my hair. _Or we could sneak up to the roof again and you could destroy another fancy dress. How does that sound? _She was killing me. Would Emmett ever shut up?

Mercifully, he eventually finished and Carlisle hurried to change the subject. "So, Bella, have you thought about possibly going to school, now that you're doing so well around humans?" I started in surprise because I hadn't even really thought about it.

"Yes, well obviously I can't go to Dartmouth now, since I'm supposed to be dead and all, but I was hoping maybe in the fall we could go somewhere."

"Wherever you want, love," I assured her. We'd be in college together soon. I was rather excited to experience it with her; I'd enjoyed the day at Dartmouth despite all the males lusting after her. I'd have to get used to that, even if I'd never like it.

"I think we should consider getting out of the country for awhile. What do you think about going to London? You all could enroll in Oxford over the summer." London? I loved London and it had been ages since we'd lived there.

"Oxford? But surely I couldn't get in to Oxford," Bella muttered.

"Please, you got into Dartmouth, didn't you?" My comment was meant with a glare and even worse, she took her hand out of my hair.

"You bought my way in," she accused. I caught her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"And I can do it again at Oxford." She scowled but before she could protest, everyone else was chiming in with their opinions.

"London! I love London and it's not far from Paris!" Alice shrieked with joy. _Shopping weekends. Boutiques, designers! That is my idea of heaven. _Her mind was filled with happiness at all the new clothes that would be within her reach.

"God knows the weather is terrible enough, we can wander around without issue most days," Rose said.

"Works for me," Jasper said with a shrug.

"We can turn Bella loose on all those proper English folks! It'll be awesome. Maybe you can get the Queen to knight me!" Emmett mentally pictured us all calling him "Sir." Like that was going to happen.

"I'd love to see our estate again," Esme said with an approving smile. Her mind was instantly filled with potential home makeover ideas.

Carlisle beamed. "I guess we're all okay with it then. Bella?" She nodded but was frowning; I knew it was at the thought of getting her into Oxford.

"You'll love London," I assured her. "Think of all your favorite novels that are set there; don't you want to see all those places?" Her frown abated and she smiled as she imagined the English countryside. "And we can go back to Paris." Instantly her mind flashed to a hazy image of us in the rain and I had to lock my muscles to keep from picking her up and running to our bed. I couldn't wait to reenact that particular scene from our honeymoon without having to worry about hurting her. Her new memory of the experience would be as vivid as my old one was.

"I'll start the process at work, there's no reason to wait and since they know I've just lost my son and daughter-in-law they won't be remotely surprised that we want to get away from here."

"There's so much I want to see," Bella said, finally giving in to excitement at our impending move. "I want to go to Spain and Switzerland and Germany and Greece." At the mention of the word Greece Alice gasped and her eyes went unfocused.

_Tanya was strolling through a Greek marketplace, stopping to look at some handmade scarves at a vendor. _

"_Surely someone as lovely as you are doesn't need to cover herself," a smooth voice interrupted. Tanya turned and took in the tall dark haired vampire at her side. He was wearing sunglasses despite the cloudy day. _I gasped as I saw Demetri standing next to Tanya. "No!"

"Edward, what is it?" Jasper demanded.

"Demetri's in Greece talking to Tanya. Just a minute," I snapped.

_Tanya batted her lashes and put on her sexiest smile at his flattery. She loved being complemented. "I recently got a rather unexpected haircut; I'm looking for new ways to hide it." _Her voice tensed at the word haircut and I felt a cold sense of foreboding run through my body.

_He ran his hand through her stylish short hair. "Well it suits you. My name is Demetri. And you are?"_

"_Tanya," she said, placing her hand in his. _

"_It's very nice to meet you, Tanya. Tell me, did the person who gave you the unexpected haircut get properly punished?" _He'd noticed her golden eyes and knew she was not a typical vampire.

"_No, she's sort of family now and her power got away from her."_

"_Power?" he asked sharply. _Please, Tanya, please don't tell him, I begged her mentally.

"_Can you keep a secret?" Tanya asked him flirtatiously. _

"_My lips are sealed…well, except when they're doing far more interesting things," he licked his lips at her. _

"_She can control minds," she whispered, running her fingers up and down his arm. _"Damn," I muttered.

"Edward?" Bella asked. I gripped her hand. "In a minute, love."

_Demetri did a double take. "I've never heard of such a thing. Who is your family member? Is she as lovely as you are?"_

"_Not hardly! She did this to me because she was angry at me for flirting with her husband. As if I am still interested in Edward!" She flashed him a smile._

"_Edward? Edward Cullen?" Tanya's smile fell and she looked surprised._

"_You know him?"_

"_We've met. May I presume you're talking about his wife, Bella?"_

_She nodded. "How do you know them?" _

_Demetri removed his glasses and Tanya started a little when she saw his red eyes. "I met them in Italy when Bella was still a human. Also, I saw them recently but Bella had yet to discover her power. How fascinating." _

_Tanya gaped at him, realizing what she'd inadvertently done. "You're with the Volturi." It wasn't a question, it was a statement._

"_Yes," he kissed her hand. "And thank you for the information you've given me. My master will be most pleased." He kissed her hand and walked away, dialing his cell phone immediately._

"_Have you found him?"_

"_Not yet, I found out something more important."_

"_Explain."_

"_Bella Cullen's power has manifested. She has mind control."_

_There was a gasp on the other end of the line. "How do you know this?"_

"_I ran into a Cullen family friend, Tanya. Bella apparently lost control of her power and cut Tanya's hair, or maybe made Tanya do it. I didn't bother to ask."_

"_This is most wonderful news! The things we can do!"_

"_I knew you'd think so. Do you want me to return home?"_

"_No, no, find Haides. He's important. There will be plenty of time to entice the talented Mrs. Cullen to join us." _

Alice's vision cut off and we stared at each other in horror. "What happened?" Carlisle demanded. Every face in the room was panicked; they all knew the secret was out.

"Aro knows."

* * *

**A/N I know most of you saw it coming, but at least Tanya didn't march to the Volturi and tell them on purpose, right? As you may imagine, we're approaching the end of SL. I still have a lot more to write but I'm guessing that we're looking at 45 chapters and an epilogue right now. So the end is near! I'm both excited and saddened by that fact but I have plenty more to write before all is said and done. Keep your outtake ideas in mind and let me know what extras you'd like to see.**

**Speaking of that, I threw my name in for the Fandom Gives Back auction. It kicks off before Eclipse is released, not sure on exact dates yet, but I'm offering up to 8,000 words in the solo auction and up to 12,000 words in a collab with InfinityPoet. It's my first time participating as a writer and I'm pretty excited. The banner for this story is a result of the last auction and it's for a wonderful charity, Alex's Lemonade Stand. I'll post more details as I get them, the solo auction can be for an original story or for any outtake of SL or Taste if you like. **

**Sorry about last weekend's update. It was up at it's normal time but FF was fail and sent some of you notifications and others didn't get one. I'm not sure if I missed any reviews due to the mess but I think I got you all. If I didn't, I apologize! I will always post on Saturday mornings unless I know FF isn't working, then I'll leave a note in my profile so you'll know when to look for it.  
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**Last thing (I know, I'm wordy, my beta agrees). I'm one of the judges of a new writing contest called Silence Of The Wolves. I know some of you rather dislike Jacob (at least in my story) so why not kill him off? Or Sam or Paul? Or even, gasp, Renesmee? All members of the pack and their imprints are eligible and I'd love to see some of you in the competition. It's anonymous but I'll get your names after the voting. The contest kicks off April 1st and runs through May, so lots of time to get creative. Here's a link to the FF post and I'll link it on my profile as well. I truly hope to see some of you there! www (dot) fanfiction (dot) net (slash) u (slash) 2269000 (slash) Silence_of_the_Wolves**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N That's right, this chapter is going up a little early. AG0 requested I get this up in time for her to read it this weekend and I love her so I had to do it for her. I'd be happy to take thanks in Easter candy :) **

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 40

**BPOV**

I felt a shiver run down my spine as Edward's words echoed in my mind. _Aro knows. _The room exploded with activity around me as Jasper and Emmett demanded a word for word account of what Alice and Edward had seen while Rosalie uttered a few curses and Esme grasped my hand. Carlisle pleaded for calm and Edward was off the floor in a flash with his arms wrapped tightly around me as if he would never let go.

A part of my brain processed Alice's explanation of what she'd seen while another part of me seemed to float in some darker place. I saw Charlie's devastated face on the boat, I saw Jacob's eyes snapping with anger as he yelled at me for the choice I'd made, I saw an old image of Renee in tears over yet another failed relationship and lastly I saw Edward's face as he prepared to step into the sun in Italy, prepared to end his life because he thought mine was over. It could not all be for naught. My life, his life, _our life_ was not going to end because some power hungry vampire in Italy wanted me to be his ultimate weapon. _ I_ would not allow it. I would do anything to protect this family. I'd destroyed my other family and I was not going to allow my new one to be taken away as well.

Jasper's eyes snapped to mine as he felt my resolve. He cocked his head and I just stared at him and let him feel my determination not to lose the one thing I valued more than anything else on this earth. I let go of Esme and joined my hands with Edward's around my waist.

"Love, I won't let him touch you." I raised our joined hands to my lips and kissed his knuckles.

"No, Edward, I won't let him touch you. Any of you."

A warrior's smile flashed across Jasper's face as the rest of the family gaped at me. "What do you mean, Bella?" Esme's tone was full of fear. "You aren't going to Italy to work with Aro. I won't allow one of my children…"

I let go of Edward and took her hand again. "No, Esme, I'm not going to give him what he wants. I'm going to make sure he doesn't get a chance to make me into his next Jane."

"And how are you planning on doing that?" Emmett demanded.

"By getting stronger. By learning everything that I can with my power."

Jasper nodded in approval. "Yes, and it's time we expanded on your lessons."

"Now wait a minute," Carlisle held up a hand. "Nothing has happened yet, right Alice? Can you pinpoint when Tanya will run into Demetri?"

She scrunched up her face and shook her head. "I can tell that it's fairly soon, there are still Christmas decorations hung in the square. It can't be too far off."

"And you see nothing else from Aro?"

"No, he hasn't formulated a plan yet. He's all excited about that Haides guy. Do you know anybody by that name?"

Carlisle shook his head, his blond hair glinting in the lamplight. "No, it's not a name I've heard before. Clearly he's someone with a talent Aro wants."

"But what could be more important than Bella's power?" Emmett wondered aloud.

"I don't know," Carlisle answered.

"Someone that could help him get Bella's power," Jasper answered.

"What?"

"Think about it. He knows Bella won't just come to Italy because he asks. He knows that we won't just stand by and let him take her, so obviously he needs to find another way to get to her. It's what I would do." I didn't doubt Jasper's words, he understood Aro in a way that I never would.

Edward's grip on my waist tightened again. I turned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "So what do we do?" I asked.

"I'm going to try calling Tanya. If we can stop her, buy a little time, we'll figure something out." Carlisle took out is phone and dialed her number. He grimaced as the call went to voicemail. "I'll try Eleazar again then, she'd answer his call." He dialed another number and frowned as he got voicemail again. "Alice?"

She shook her head sadly. "You won't get to him in time. That much I can tell. I think it's already too late."

"Maybe I can appeal to Aro," Carlisle mused. "If I could make him see that we're not any kind of threat…"

"It's not about us being a threat anymore, don't you see?" Jasper interrupted. "Yes, there is a part of him that fears our gifts but he knows you, Carlisle. He knows that you just want to live your life and be left alone. He isn't worried that we're suddenly going to rise up and take over Volterra. He's beyond that now. All he'll want is Bella's power. Nobody would pose a threat to him if he had her in his corner. Does he still want Alice, Edward and me? Yes, but we're pretty much just the icing on the cake that is Bella. With her he needs nothing else."

"Alright, but how? How does he get her there?" Edward snarled the words, his frustration mounting.

"Easy," Jasper answered nonchalantly. "Threaten someone she loves." I was grateful he was on our side but I was pretty terrified by the way his mind worked.

"My parents!" He would do it too; he'd go after Charlie and Renee to lure me to Italy. "Edward, we have to help them," I gripped his forearms too tightly and he winced.

"We will, love," he assured me, stroking my cheek softly. I leaned into his touch and prayed that he was right.

"Calm down, Bella," Jasper ordered. "Everyone needs to calm down. You're all putting me on edge and I need to think. I'm going to run, clear my head. Alice, do you want to come with me?"

"Sure," she murmured quietly, her usual exuberance gone.

Jasper turned to Carlisle. "We'll be back shortly. I think you need to call Billy. Don't let them know why. Just tell them we have reason to believe that there might be a threat to Charlie. If he's surrounded by wolves, I doubt Aro will go after him. I'll call Jenks and hire some security for Renee and Phil. It's all we can do for now."

Carlisle blew out a breath. "You're right, that's our best course of action right now." He picked up his cell again and dialed.

Jasper turned to me and Edward. "Just relax. We have time and we'll be ready and waiting for them when they come after us. You can handle this." I met his eyes and saw that he meant exactly what he said. I actually wasn't worried about Aro coming after me. I could handle that. But the thought of him going after my very breakable parents scared me to the bone.

"They'll be protected, Bella," Edward reassured me. I nodded and listened as Carlisle told Billy that they were worried about a potential threat to Charlie. Billy asked some questions and Carlisle told him that the Volturi might look for leverage against us and Charlie would be an easy target.

"He's staying on the rez these days. I doubt they'd come after him here." Charlie was staying in La Push? Why? "Embry's been talking about becoming a cop, I can send him to work with Charlie during the day, to observe. Do you think that would suffice?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I can't tell you more."

"Just tell me that Bella's alright," Billy said and I felt a lump form in my throat at the concern I heard in his voice.

Carlisle glanced at me. "She's fine. Would you like to talk to her?"

There was a pause and I waited nervously for Billy's response. "Sure, if that's alright with her."

I had the phone in my hand the second he completed the sentence. "Billy."

I closed my eyes as I heard his breath catch. "Hi, Bells, it's good to hear your voice."

I let out some strange combination of a sob and a laugh. "I could say the exact same thing to you. Thank you for talking to me."

"Er, anytime. So Carlisle tells me there may be some trouble. I don't want you to worry about your father. We're taking good care of him. He seems more like himself every day." His words, though they were meant to reassure me, cut me like a knife. I'd broken my father and he would probably never be the same.

"Thanks, Billy," I whispered. Edward's hand intertwined with mine again and I gave it a squeeze, thankful as always that I had his silent support. He knew what I was feeling even though I hadn't let him back into my mind since Alice's vision.

"It'll be easy to keep an eye on him, he's down here every night anyway," Billy murmured gruffly. There was something in his tone…

"Is he staying with you?" I couldn't imagine Charlie sharing that tiny house with Jacob and Billy for very long.

"Uh, no, not exactly." What did that mean?

"What does that mean?"

Billy muttered something about telling kids things they didn't need to know. "What?" I asked, getting frustrated now.

"Fine! He's staying with Sue Clearwater!" Leah's mom? That Sue Clearwater? She and my father? I didn't know what to do with that information. I didn't particularly like to think about Charlie and women. He'd never dated when I lived in Forks and I hadn't had the impression that he dated at all before I got there. It was weird to think about my father having a personal life.

Edward chuckled and I shot him a glare. "Oh." What else could I say? Alice giggled and Emmett grinned at me. What were they all so amused about?

"I mean, they're not….at least I don't think they are…" Oh my God, entirely enough of that. "She's just taking care of him." Billy sounded like he was reassuring himself more than me. I didn't want to think about that either.

"That's very nice of her. And of you. And everyone. I'm glad you're all looking out for him."

"Of course, Bella. Always will," he assured me.

"I'm glad. How is…" I broke off, not sure if I wanted to ask.

"He's good." Of course Billy knew I was asking about Jake. "Putting in a lot of time down at the garage. I think they'll hire him on full time once he's done with school."

"Great, he'd like that."

"Yes. I, uh, heard some of the things he said to you. You know he didn't mean most of it, right? He's just very angry right now."

Oh, he meant it alright but I didn't want to think about that. I was just glad to hear he was doing alright. We weren't friends anymore, or more accurately, I wasn't his friend, but I still cared about him and missed him more than I liked to admit.

Edward nudged me and I realized that I hadn't responded. "That's okay, Billy. If the situation were reversed I probably would have done the same thing." Edward shook his head and I bit back a smile. Okay, so that wasn't true but Billy didn't need to apologize for his son's words.

"Right," he breathed a sigh. "Well I better get going. I need to round up the boys and let them know there might be trouble."

My hand tightened on the phone. "I'm sorry that we're putting you in danger." Again. Even in death I was still causing trouble for the wolves. "Please, be careful. If anything happened to you…"

"Don't you worry about us, Bella. We take care of our own. You just take care and if you need anything, you call and let me know." Yeah, like the wolves would come running to our side if the Volturi came calling. Somehow I didn't see that happening. Still, it was a kind gesture.

"Thanks, Billy. Take care, okay?"

"You too, Bella. It was good to talk to you." I handed the phone back to Carlisle and let him thank Billy as well and turned to my husband.

"What were you laughing about?"

He grinned. "Your reaction the idea that your father just might have a sex life." I shuddered at the use of the words sex life and father in the same sentence. Some things I did not need to know.

"Not funny."

"I beg to differ!" Emmett laughed boisterously. "It's good to know the chief has a way with the ladies." Gross. I smacked him on the arm at the same time as Rose smacked him upside the head. I grinned at her and she smiled back.

"Bella, there's something I need to tell you," Alice said with a hesitant smile.

"What?"

"When we were at your funeral, I saw Charlie with Sue and…" she eyed me nervously.

"What?" I demanded, getting irritated at her lollygagging.

"Can't you figure it out?" Emmett threw up his arms. "They're totally doing it!"

"Ew! Alice, you saw that?" Thank God I did not have her power.

"Ew! No!" Alice echoed with a look of disgust on her face. "I didn't see _that, _Emmett. You know, you were there!"

"What, exactly, did you see?" I asked through clenched teeth. I would make her tell me if she didn't just spit it out in two seconds.

"Charlie and Sue are going to be married one day. The reason I had a hard time seeing his future was because Seth and Leah are constantly going to be around him, with him married to their mother and all. Are you mad?" I didn't know what I was to be honest. A part of me was happy that Charlie would have someone to take care of him. Another part of me was upset at the thought of his replacing me with Leah of all people. Seth, he was great, but Leah?

"Why didn't you tell me when you all got back?"

Alice sighed. "You were sad and I thought you were dealing with enough. I hope you're not upset with me, I wanted to wait until you were in a better place to tell you." I wasn't mad at her, I just felt strange about the situation. There was too much to process right now.

"I'm not mad at you." A look of relief flitted across her pretty face. I felt a wave of calm coming from Jasper.

"Sorry, we're keeping you, aren't we?" I asked.

"You needed us and we have plenty of time," he spoke confidently. I wished I could feel that sure.

"Go, come up with a plan."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." He stared at me like he was looking into my brain. I met his eyes and he apparently saw what he needed to see.

"Let's go Alice." He held out a hand to her and she danced over to take it. "We'll be back shortly." I watched as they moved fluidly out the front door and leaned back into Edward's arms. My mind was whirling with all I'd learned in the last hour. My power was about to be known, a threat hung over all our heads and possibly my parents, I'd talked to Billy, my father was going to marry Sue Clearwater…it was a lot to absorb.

"Talk to me, love." I didn't have the energy to talk so I just let Edward into my mind instead. I gave him all of my fear, all of my confusion. His eyes held mine as he took in my thoughts and emotions. "Thank you," he whispered as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"For what?"

"For letting me in. You internalize far too much." I knew I did and I knew he hated it when I shut him out. Usually I did it to protect him, though. He took my guilt and made it his own which was just ridiculous. He chuckled. "You know I'm still hearing you, right?" Oops, I had forgotten.

"Well, it's true," I pointed out.

"I know. I just hate it when you're unhappy. If I could take it away…"

"You can't, just as I can't make you stop feeling guilty. Well, maybe I could!"

He chuckled and kissed me softly. "How about we both agree to keep working on our issues and leave it at that?"

"That works for me." I settled back into his arms to think about all that had happened and wait for Alice and Jasper to return, hopefully with some answers.

**APOV**

Why couldn't I see anything? I ran alongside my Jasper and tried to will a vision to appear before my eyes but it wasn't happening. I hated when I couldn't see.

"Alice, stop pushing yourself. You'll see when there's something to see."

"What if I don't though? Aro knows how my power works, he could hold off on making a decision until…"

"Until what? It's not like he lives next door. You'll see when he decides to leave, or to send someone after us or Charlie or Renee. Have a little faith in yourself." He shot me a grin and came to an abrupt stop. Sure, he had absolute faith in me, which was wonderful except that since Bella had come into our lives there was so much I couldn't see. The wolves, her non-death, her power…it was completely frustrating that one of my favorite people had rendered me nearly useless.

I grabbed his hand in my right hand and used my left to brush the blond locks out of his face. I had to stand on tiptoe to do it but I loved the feel of Jasper's hair in my hands. "Why are we out here?" I knew, of course, but I wanted him to talk about it.

He plopped down on a rock and pulled me next to him. "I had to get away from all the emotion in the room. Edward's freaking out, though he's trying to keep that from Bella, Carlisle and Esme are worried, Rose is angry, Emmett's ready to tear someone apart and Bella…" he broke off and shook his head. "Bella's determined, focused…I wasn't expecting that but it's a pleasant surprise."

A laugh bubbled out of me. These men just didn't get Bella sometimes. "Why are you surprised? She's always been brave, always put everyone else before herself and she's faced her own death more times than I can count. Her fear will always be for her family, Edward and all of us, never for herself."

He chuckled. "I guess I knew that but it still surprises me to feel it in action. In another time she would have made an excellent warrior. Though I guess she'll probably have to be one now."

He got that look again, that far off look that took him back to a time that he didn't like to talk about, even to me. I stroked his hand and waited for him to come back to me. He always did, he always would. He turned and focused back in on me. "There's a lot I still have to teach her and I just don't know what kind of time I have. She's learning so fast now, it probably won't be a problem but the added pressure won't be good for any of us. I have theories about what she can do, what she's capable of. Some of it is downright frightening." Surely Jasper couldn't be worried about Bella abusing her power. Before I could ask the question, he said, "Not in Bella's hands, per se, but in Aro's. He'd understand what she can do and he'd see the potential of what she could do better than even I could. I have to anticipate all of that and make sure she's ready for it." He took so much on his capable shoulders.

"_We_ have to make sure she's ready for it," I corrected. He smiled and nodded. "What is it that you think she'll ultimately learn to do?" I was curious and again, I didn't see anything. I guess until Bella knew she was capable of something I wouldn't know. I hated that.

"I think she could get into the mind and plant false memories. I think she could unlock hidden memories. I think she could remove everything a person knows. Could you imagine that? What if she could go into your subconscious and remove me from your head?"

I shook my head in automatic denial at his question, though another part of his statement was echoing in my mind. Unlock hidden memories? What if she could make me remember my past? Would I want that? Did I want to know anymore about my existence prior to awakening a vampire? The pieces we'd gathered from James made me lean away from ever knowing. Still, it was something to ponder.

I felt a soft touch on my cheek and turned to look at Jasper who was watching me patiently. "Where did you go?"

"Nowhere, really. I just got to thinking, if she could get at hidden memories, she could uncover my past. Then I started wondering if I really wanted that."

"Do you?"

"No, although I know I would be the best for her to test the idea on. The rest of you all have your memories intact. I guess maybe she could see if she uncover some of Edward or Carlisle's human times but I'm really the best guinea pig for that." I'd do it for Bella but I didn't really want to.

"Hey," he lifted me and pulled me onto his lap. "You don't have to and right now it's not the most important thing anyway. That's something we'll get to over time. Right now her mind needs to be a weapon."

"Isn't it already? She can get people to do whatever she wants." I was confused.

"Yes, but what if we can turn that into an offensive power?"

I cocked my head at him. "How so?"

"What if she could use other people's powers, or more accurately, get them to use their powers on others?"

Oh wow, that was an amazing thought. "So if she could get into Jane's head and…"

"Fry Aro? Yes, exactly. That's slightly different from just bending people to her will. She has to be able to tap into their head, turn on their power and direct it. It's far more difficult. Still, if the Volturi ever do get their hands on her, she could use Alec or Jane to get away."

Fascinating. His ability to see the possibilities in a situation always astounded me. He would have made an excellent general and I have no doubt he would have become one had he lived. Maria…I couldn't be sorry that she came into his life, because that brought him to me, but I could hate her for every second of the pain she'd caused him before and since. He lived with so much guilt and for him to feel it the way he did...I wanted to kill her sometimes. Hey maybe I could have Bella mess with her mind if she ever showed up again. That thought cheered me immensely. Jasper shot me a curious look and I just smiled and shook my head. I'd save that one for another day.

"Well, I don't think she could use my power to cause me to see anything or Edward's power but yours would be perfect."

He smiled at me. "Yes, are you willing to be a guinea pig?"

"For you? Anytime." I stood and held my hands out to him, pulling him off the rock. "Are you ready to go get started?"

"Yes." He bent down and kissed me. "Thank you for getting away with me. You calm me like no one else ever could."

I smiled, warmed by his words and the love shining in his eyes. "Jasper?"

"What?"

"No power could ever make me forget you. Even if someone could remove you from my mind, they could never take you from my heart." His eyes got darker then and he picked me up and put me back on the rock. I felt his passion and desire sweep over me as his lips met mine.

"We don't have to get back right away…" he trailed off as his lips moved down my throat. I giggled and pulled him down with me. We had time. We'd make time.

**EPOV**

Waiting was not one of my better virtues, particularly when it came to my wife's welfare. I gripped her tightly in my arms and counted down the minutes until Jasper and Alice returned.

_Edward, it will be alright. We can handle this. As long as my parents are safe, we'll be fine. I know we will. _Her confidence was astounding. My Bella had truly started to believe in herself. If only she would look in the mirror and see her beauty as well. In time, she would. She'd come so far already. She blew me away.

"I believe in you, love."

She turned in my arms then, her golden eyes regarding me with warmth. "I believe in us." I kissed her then, not caring that Carlisle was still trying to reach Eleazar and Emmett was peering out the windows as if we were going to be under attack while Rose steamed over in the corner and Esme kept repeating to herself that everything would be okay. She believed it, why couldn't I?

_We're back. _ I breathed a sigh of relief at Jasper's greeting and broke my kiss with Bella, gently brushing her cheek. "They're home."

"Good, I prefer us all to be together." She sat up and Emmett left his post at the window to sit down when Jasper and Alice entered.

"Well?" Emmett demanded, looking at Jasper like he held all the answers. Jas rolled his eyes but smiled.

"So, I have an idea of what we need to do next." Alice danced over and sat next to Bella, her eyes shining with excitement.

"This is going to be fun!" she exclaimed. I glanced at Jasper and raised a questioning eyebrow. _Bella needs to learn how to tap into someone else's power. She could turn the Volturi's strengths into their own weaknesses; turn Jane and Alec on them. _Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I thanked God Jasper was on our side. It never occurred to me that Bella could do something like that.

"What is going to be fun?" Rose demanded.

Jasper turned to her. "You may want to leave again. I'm going to have Bella try to make me use my gift against the rest of you."

"What do you mean?" Carlisle asked with a look of interest on his face.

"Look, we know that one day Aro is going to come after Bella. It may not be tomorrow but I am sure it's going to be soon." I felt my body tense at his words, even though I know they were true. "Calm, brother," Jasper said, cutting a glance my way. "So, what if Bella not only has the option to control their minds, but to use their own weapons against them? She could make Jane use her pain on Aro, she could make Alec freeze everyone so she could get away." He looked around the room. "I told her that she was the most powerful vampire I've ever seen and that was not an exaggeration. The scope of her power is potentially limitless."

"Jasper thinks that she may be able to go into people's minds and unlock their lost memories." She turned to Bella. "Like you could make me remember my past before I was changed, if I wanted you to that is." A look of fear flashed in her eyes but she quickly masked it. "It's something we could maybe try, one day."

My eyes met Alice's. _Well, I don't want to try it now. I'm not ready. Maybe someday though, if it will help Bella. _I shook my head at her. _Don't you argue with me, big brother. I will decide when and if I want to let her bring back my past. Sometimes I do wonder, sometimes I'm glad I don't know. Now, at least, I have an option. _She was right, of course. There were times when I wondered about my human life as well. My mother and father were very faint memories in my mind at this point; would it hurt if I had Bella give them back to me or would it be good for me? It was something to think about at any rate.

_Her power…if she could do things like that it would be amazing. Imagine what she might be able to do for patients? Could she wake up someone in a coma? She could surely clear up amnesia. Could she find hematomas that we couldn't locate with cat scans? The possibilities for good are endless. Of course, so are the possibilities for evil. Aro won't rest until she's by his side. I know him better than anyone. I've been fooling myself to think that he would leave us alone. _Carlisle's thoughts, as always, were filled with caring for his patience and love for his family.

Rose eyed Bella warily but whatever she was thinking wasn't very clear to me, I seemed to be getting images of her past. I knew she didn't want those back. Emmett's thoughts were the same as his words when he said, "Epic," yet again. Like me, he was in awe of Bella.

For her part, Bella didn't seem to be overwhelmed by the information. She had a look of interest on her face but her mind was closed to me right now and I couldn't tell what she was thinking. "Love? Are you okay?"

She smiled at me and just like it did the first time she looked at me like that, I felt my heart soar. "I'm fine. A little surprised that I could possibly do that, but at the same time, it would be really great if I could. I help sick people, right? Like people with Alzheimer's and memory loss?"

Carlisle positively beamed with pride. _Of course her mind went right to helping people. Bella's such a wonderful girl. Charlie would be so proud of her. _"I think maybe you could, Bella. We could really do some miraculous things with your gift." Esme's thoughts echoed Carlisle's, she was proud that Bella wanted to use her gift for good.

"Are you ready to get started?" Jasper asked her.

"Sure." Bella looked at Rose. "I promise I won't get into your head but I know you don't like when I do this so I understand if you want to leave."

Rosalie crossed her arms and glanced around the room. "I'll stay. You're all my family and if this is an important part of keeping us together then I'll do whatever it takes." Loyalty had always been Rose's greatest trait. Bella smiled at her and Rose gave her a tentative smile back, smoothing back her blond hair nervously.

"So what do I do?" Bella asked Jasper, looking much like she used to in class when she was presented with new information. I kissed her cheek impulsively and she arched a brow at me. I just shook my head and kept the memory to myself for now.

"Get into my head. Make me do something, just something normal first." She scrunched up her face and then smiled. Jasper went over and scooped Emmett into his arms and carried him toward the stairway.

"Hey! Not without dinner first!" Emmett scolded with a grin. Everyone burst out laughing at the hilarious picture the two of them made.

Jasper put Emmett down and turned to Bella, laughing. "Cute, very cute."

"It was a very _Gone With The Wind _moment I thought," Bella said with a giggle. "Plus Esme liked it when I had Carlisle do that for her. And Emmett never did get to get Yellow Jacket's number."

"Who is Yellow Jacket?" Rose asked with a frown.

"Nobody," Emmett answered hastily at the same time that Jasper blurted, "This guy in the Psych class we went to that had a crush on Em."

Rose's frown melted into a fit of laughter. "Oh Bella, you absolutely should have had him give Emmett his number. I would have paid good money to see that."

"Next time," Bella promised her with a big smile. The fact that Rose was actually encouraging Bella to use her power was not lost on any of us.

"Well, now that you've had your fun," Jasper said with a little grin. "Can we get back to the lesson?"

"Sir, yes, sir!" she snapped a little salute at him which sent the room into laughter again. Jasper gave her a mock glare and Bella looked like a little kid with her hand in the cookie jar. She was too cute.

"Anyway," he said with a withering glance around the room, "you remember when I showed you the portion of my brain where I push out the emotions?" She nodded. "I want you to concentrate on that location. Notice any difference you feel there versus anywhere else within my brain. You need to be able to locate that change in a brain like Jane's as well. Can you feel anything?"

Bella's face was one of fierce concentration. "Yes, there's something more there. More nerves possibly? I can almost feel power emanating from that spot."

Jasper grinned. "Good. Now try with Edward. Where in his brain is his gift located?" Bella's gaze landed on me and I smiled at her determination. I loved watching her learn new things. "Lower right, just above his ear," she announced decisively.

"Sound about right, Edward?" I honestly had no clue, I'd never explored my gift the way Bella and Jasper had. It had just always been there. I shrugged. Jasper laughed. _Okay, Edward, concentrate, what part of your head are you hearing me in right now? _

Bella was right. "Just where she said it was."

"Makes sense really, that it would be near the ear. Hearing thoughts, hearing, get it?" Emmett chuckled. Rose smacked him. "Ouch!"

"Do me!" Alice begged, not remotely concerned with Bella looking into her mind to locate her visions.

"Right on the top, in the center, it comes from both the right and left side equally," Bella announced. Alice bounced in excitement and patted the top of her head.

"Someone probably dropped you on it when you were a baby," Rose pointed out dryly. The room dissolved in a fit of giggles again.

"Rose, we can't all be gifted, no need for jealousy," Alice sang with delight. Rose tossed a pillow at her which Alice caught and placed in Bella's lap as she lay her head down. Bella put her arm over Alice's shoulder and looked at Jasper expectantly.

"Well, now that you know how to locate the power center, you need to figure out how to use it. I've told you how I push my power at people, the same as you do really, so you need to get into my brain and make me do the same thing. Whatever you do, you need to make the whole room feel it, except for you, got it?"

Bella nodded and got that look of concentration on her face again. All of a sudden I felt completely giddy and laughter burst out of me and everyone else in the room except for Bella and Jasper. Emmett was on the floor kicking his feet, Alice howled into the pillow, Esme and Carlisle clutched one another and Rose chortled. As abruptly as it hit us it ended just as quickly and we were left gasping for air.

"One try," Jasper murmured in awe. "It took you all of one try to get at my power. You are truly a wonder." Bella bit her lip and glanced around the room but all she saw was the same pride Jasper spoke with reflected back at her.

"It was easy once I knew where the power came from," Bella told him.

"That's good. The first thing you do, whenever Aro or one of his minions comes around us next, is locate that spot. Be ready to tap into it at a moment's notice. Will you do that?"

"Of course," Bella said confidently, leaning back into my shoulder as she played with Alice's hair.

"Good. We'll keep practicing. You need to be ready. We all do."

* * *

**A/N #2: You knew I had to say more than what I said in the beginning right? I didn't win the Indies, but just making the top 5 in that loaded category is incredible so I have to thank you all again. You're the best, really, and you make me want to put the best story I can out there. Hopefully I'm doing so!**

**The Silence of The Wolves contest is officially out there. You can go see details at www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)u(slash)2269000. Kill a wolf for me, won't ya? :)  
**


	41. Chapter 41

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 41

**EPOV**

It was only one day later that my cell phone rang with Tanya's name on the caller ID. We'd tried to get in touch with her constantly since Alice had her vision but she had turned off her phone and hadn't checked her messages. We'd debated trying to chase her down in Greece but Alice saw that we wouldn't get there in time.

"Tanya," my voice was flat. I wasn't exactly angry, since she hadn't done it on purpose, but I was hardly happy with her. Bella slid her hand in mine and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Edward, I'm so sorry. I didn't know! I should have listened to your messages but I assumed you were calling to apologize and I just didn't want to hear it. I never, ever meant to tell them!"

"Never?" That was a lie and she knew it. She'd thought about going to Aro herself several times according to Alice.

Tanya sighed loudly on the other end of the phone. "Alice…of course. Yes, I thought about it a time or two but I never would have told them. You are my family and I'd never hurt you like that, no matter what."

"Why did you feel the need to mention it to a man you just met and knew nothing about?" I couldn't understand her motivation.

"I…I don't really know, Edward. I haven't felt like me since Bella made me chop my hair off and I guess I just felt sort of pretty for the first time in ages and then when he mentioned the scarves it just came out. He was so very handsome and I thought he'd feel sorry for me and that maybe we'd…"

I cut her off there, not interested in hearing about Tanya wanting to add another conquest to her very long history of them. "It was irresponsible and reckless, Tanya."

"So was Bella! Maybe she didn't mean to do it but she did, who's to say she won't do something worse next time? Maybe she should go to the Volturi, they could help her harness her power."

Now I was getting angry. "Don't go trying to justify your actions. She doesn't need to go to the Volturi for that, she has plenty of people to learn from right here. Which you might actually know if you'd bothered to answer any of our calls. We would hardly have wasted our time calling you over and over again if it weren't important."

"I know that, Edward, but I wasn't exactly thinking rationally at the time."

"You weren't thinking at all, Tanya." Jasper nodded his head approvingly and Emmett let out a little chuckle.

"Well excuse me! I can't help it if I'm the only one alone and I finally had a gorgeous man paying attention to me. Are you the only one entitled to find someone to spend your life with? Do I have to stay single for all eternity?"

I groaned. "Did I say that, Tanya? You blurted out Bella's power to a complete stranger within minutes of meeting him. I hardly think that's a normal way to get to know someone new." No wonder she was alone, she didn't know how to communicate well with people.

"I said I was sorry, Edward, what more can I say? I can't fix it, he's already left. I heard him talking on his cell phone to someone…"

"Aro," I supplied acidly.

She sighed again. "Yes, Aro. I don't know what to do. I can try to find Demetri but it's already too late."

"Yes it is," my voice was resigned. It wasn't like we'd been blindsided by this information. All we could do now was wait and see what Aro planned to do.

"Tell me what I can do to make it better, Edward," her voice was desperate now, asking for forgiveness that I didn't know if I was capable of giving. I looked at my wife, sitting calmly at my side, watching me with interest. Jasper took the phone from me.

"What you can do is find a way to get in touch with Eleazar and let him know what you've inadvertently done. He knows Aro very well and may have some insight to offer us. We've been trying to call him as well."

"They were supposed to go on a long hunt in the Alaskan countryside."

"I know. Just keep trying until you get him. We have other things to concentrate on right now," his tone was clipped, final.

"Jasper, I really am sorry." She sounded contrite, I'd give her that much.

"We know, Tanya," he glanced at me and smiled softly. "And we'll forgive you, in time. Right now, that's not our priority. I'm sure you can understand that."

"I can. Just…let me know if there's anything I can do. The last thing I ever wanted to do was hurt you all. You're my family."

"And family forgives one another. Hopefully we'll all remember that. Goodbye, Tanya. Have Eleazar call us as soon as possible."

"I will. Goodbye Jasper, everyone." Jasper shut my phone and tossed it back to me.

"Well, now it's done. Hopefully Alice will see something soon." As soon as Jasper mentioned her, she danced down the stairs.

"I just got a flash. Demetri has a lead on that Haides guy. He said something like, I've found him, and then the vision cut off. I have no idea why, I guess maybe because he hasn't convinced him to join up yet."

"I'm not overly worried about what he's doing with the new acquisition. I'm more interested in what Aro's planning," Jasper informed her.

"I can't see that yet. All I know is that he's thrilled to know about her power. We all know he wants it. I'm sure he'll come up with something soon and I'll see and we can work around it."

Jasper nodded. "Jenks has six men watching out for Renee and Phil in Jacksonville."

Carlisle came into the living room. "Billy informed the wolves and they're running patrols again at night. Embry is going to work with Charlie under the guise of learning to be a policeman. Charlie seems to enjoy having him around and doesn't have any idea anything's going on."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief. "Good. Thank you for making sure that my family is looked after," her voice broke a little.

Esme sat next to her and pulled her into a hug. "Of course, Bella. They're our family now too."

Emmett growled softly. "I hate waiting; I wish they'd just do something so we could take them on. With Bella on our side we'll wipe the floor with them!"

"I'd rather not fight at all," Carlisle said, ever the peacemaker. "Perhaps I should try to call Aro, reassure him that we have no interest in usurping his power."

Jasper snorted. "Men like Aro can't conceive of people with power not wanting to use it for their own gain. You're welcome to try but I know his type. I saw it every day in both my human and early vampire life. Aro had many newborn vampires destroyed when I was in Texas and Maria liked to acquire vampires with talent as well, you know. But on the rare occasions that she came across someone that had more than she thought she could handle, she had them destroyed. She had me destroy them." His voice broke a little. "I can only wonder what kind of vampires they'd be now. Of course, they'd probably be Volturi so maybe I should be glad we only have Jane and Alec to contend with."

"Aro is definitely ambitious but he knows me, he knows that I am not. Maybe I can make him see…"

"What? That Bella's power wouldn't be useful to him? I don't see how you think you can do that," Jasper argued. "He's going to see all the potential in her that I do, maybe even more."

"It doesn't hurt to try, though, does it?" Carlisle asked. We all looked at one another and then glanced at Alice.

"He's not going to take your call. I don't know if he's not there or just avoiding you, but when you call you'll get nowhere." I could see that she spoke the truth. Heidi would not patch Carlisle through to Aro for some reason.

"He's avoiding you while he figures out what he wants to do. He has no plans to leave us alone, that I can assure you."

"So what do we do? Should we go to Volterra and see him in person? Would that make a difference?" Rose demanded.

"The only difference that makes is it gets Bella right where he wants her," Jasper responded with a rueful shake of his head.

"Why can't he just leave us alone?" Rose wondered. _He's not going to tear this family apart. If Bella ends up having to go to Volterra, then we're all going to go. Edward can't live without her and we can't live without either of them. It would destroy all of us to be ripped apart._

I nearly smiled at Rose's thoughts. A few weeks ago she would have suggested having Bella go, or maybe the two of us. At the very least she would have tried to get Emmett to leave with her. They could live their lives in peace, Aro had no reason to go after the two of them, but it wasn't even a consideration for her now. She was finally on the same page as the rest of us.

"Would it be so terrible if I went there? Maybe I could go and use my power to make him forget all of us, just like I did in the psych class," Bella suggested tentatively. My fingers tightened reflexively on hers at the mental image I had of her facing the Volturi all alone. Regardless of her power, that could not happen.

Jasper shook his head. "You're not ready for that yet. Controlling a few hundred humans that don't know what you're doing and facing a room full of ancient and powerful vampires that do know what you're capable of are two very different things. I'm proud of you for wanting to do it and someday in the not too distant future you may be ready. We can't take that chance until your sure and by the way my brother is freaking out over there, I think he might have the first ever vampire heart attack if we tried." I would have laughed along with the rest of them but I couldn't breathe at all at the moment and I felt a clutching in my chest as if I were indeed having a heart attack. I'd experienced that through countless human minds before and I knew my body's reaction wasn't all that different from theirs.

"Breathe, Edward," Bella took my face in both her hands and stroked my cheeks gently. I stared into her eyes and took one breath and then another. The ache in my chest slowly subsided and I felt decidedly inhuman again. I far preferred that to the all too real pain I'd been experiencing at the thought of Bella taking on Aro alone. I was confident in her abilities but Aro was ruthless when he wanted to be. I'd nearly lost her to him once; I would not do it again.

"Bella, I can't…you can't," I couldn't form the words.

"Shhh, we're fine, Edward. I was just throwing the idea out there. I don't really plan on going there." _Calm down, sweetheart. I just can't stand the thought of risking our family while we wait to see what Aro is going to do. I'd rather force a confrontation soon so that we can put this all behind us. You do believe in me, don't you? _She looked into my eyes as if she could read my thoughts. Perhaps in time she'd learn to do even that. She was amazing.

"Of course I believe in you, Bella. I have complete faith in you and your abilities. It's Aro I don't trust."

"That's why I think, ultimately, we have to face him. If we give him time, he may figure out how to neutralize my ability. Isn't that what you'd do, Jasper?"

_She's a bright one, Edward. She would have made a heck of a general back in the day. _"Yes, it is. But we can't go in there without knowing everything there is to know. It's about taking a controlled risk. Finding out as much as possible as quickly as we can and choosing the moment of attack when the army doesn't know quite as much as we do. We need to pick Eleazar's brain, see if he can give us any kind of advantage. Alice needs to give us some conclusive visions as to what will happen if we go confront Aro. And we need to determine what we'd do if and when he refuses to listen to us. Would erasing their minds be enough to make sure we were all safe, or would we always be looking over our shoulder?"

"I don't want to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop. I say we deal with it now. Bring on the Volturi!" Emmett said decisively.

"I agree," Rose said with a nod. "The last thing we want to do is live in fear. That's not living the lives we want to live either."

Jasper turned to Alice with a raised eyebrow. "I don't see anything yet but once we make a solid decision, hopefully I will. With that being said, I'm in, vision or no vision."

It was like having déjà vu all over again. I felt like I'd been transported back in time to another vote that would put the love of my life in danger. It was surreal.

Esme cleared her throat. "Nothing is more important than this family. They can't separate us. If we have to fight to ensure that they don't, then I'm on board with that." Her gaze rested on Carlisle. She knew that he was resistant to the idea of a potential fight with the Volturi. "You have to fight in order to achieve freedom, Carlisle. That's all I want for us and for our children. Freedom."

He looked at her steadily as his mind flipped through potential solutions to the problem. That was Carlisle for you, ever the diplomat. He sighed and looked at each of us, taking Esme's hand in his own and giving it a squeeze. "I think we don't have any other choice. I don't think we should act rashly, however. I want us to have every contingency planned for before we even consider confronting Aro. I hate the thought of going up against my old friend but like you all, I don't think he'll leave us alone unless we do something to make it so. All the same, I'd like to avoid any kind of violence whatsoever."

Emmett let out a huff of frustration and crossed his arms. "Well if you're going to take the fun out of it all, maybe I'll change my vote!" The rest of the family laughed. I wasn't quite in the mood to join in though.

Jasper's eyes met mine. _Well, brother?_

I looked at Bella, who was watching me with trust shining in her eyes. She thought I'd do the right thing, though it didn't really matter what I voted now did it? They were all in agreement and I was on the outside looking in again. Although, if I were being honest with myself, if it was anyone other than Bella in the direct line of fire, I probably would be completely behind going after Aro. That meant that I was being overprotective when it came to the love of my life again. But how can you be too protective of the one you love above and beyond anything?

"I don't like this; I'm not going to lie. Like Carlisle said, I want every single thing that could go wrong planned for and neutralized before we even think of taking the risk of putting Bella in harm's way." I caressed her cheek. "I have the utmost faith that you can handle anything they throw at you; I just want you to be completely prepared. And you will not be going in alone. I will not ever agree to that."

She smiled. "I never would have considered going alone, Edward. We're never going to face a challenge alone again, remember?" Of course I did, every time I tried to protect her she fought me on it. At least now we'd be together.

"So, I guess we're unanimous." I turned to Jasper. "What do we do now?"

**BPOV**

Several weeks passed without a word from Aro. Alice couldn't see anything coming from the Volturi at all and though we were initially on edge, the inactivity coupled with our own planning made us more confident each passing day. Jasper was plotting and strategizing every minute of the day that he wasn't running me through various training drills or doing God knows what with Alice.

Edward and Carlisle had finally reached Eleazar, who was horrified that Tanya had inadvertently clued the Volturi into my power and promised any help he could give us. He concurred with Jasper that Aro would stop at nothing to attain my gift and felt that going after my family was the easiest way to go after me. Everybody knew that I'd sacrifice anything for the ones I loved. I didn't consider that to be a weakness, I was just being human. And I knew every member of my family felt the same way.

Esme and Alice threw themselves into planning our eventual move to London. Carlisle had put in his notice, giving the hospital two months notice to give them enough time to find a replacement. Rose and Emmett had taken it upon themselves to spar with me daily, saying I had to be physically ready for combat just in case my brain failed me. Well, Rose didn't say that but Emmett did of course. "Jane may get a shot in on you and fry your brain. You need to be ready to fight hand to hand if that happens." While I didn't think it was likely, having more skills could only be a good thing.

Carlisle talked to Billy daily, getting updates on Charlie's safety. It almost felt like I was still in contact with my father. I felt a pang every time I thought of him but Alice's news about Sue made me feel slightly better. I was thrilled that Charlie was being taken care of even though a very small part of me still felt like I was being replaced. I knew that was irrational and wrong to feel that way and that I wanted my parents to move on with their lives, but I worried about being forgotten which was ridiculous. Edward told me that my feelings were natural and I shouldn't feel guilty but I couldn't help myself. Jealousy and feelings of insignificance weren't going to get me anywhere, or so Jasper told me. I was doing my best to let it go. My parent's safety and happiness were the most important things and it was up to me to make sure they got a chance at the happier futures that Alice saw for them.

Alice threw herself down on the couch, frustration marring her lovely face. "What's wrong?"

"Why can't I see, Bella?" she demanded.

"I don't know, Alice." I knew she felt frustrated; she'd been trying for weeks now to see what Aro had planned but thus far nothing. Either he didn't know what he wanted to do yet or he'd found a way to thwart her. Carlisle still kept trying to call and kept getting stonewalled. Aro wasn't going to give us a chance to ask to be left alone.

"You know you can't push yourself, Alice. The vision will come when it comes," Jasper reassured her.

"You're the one who thinks Bella has unlimited potential. Can't she tap into my power and make me see?" Alice asked peevishly. What?

Jasper eyed me speculatively and then shook his head. "I don't think so. Your power is dependent upon the choices other people make. It can't be turned on that way. She could probably make it so you never had visions," Alice interrupted with a loud gasp. "Besides it's good for you to learn to live in the moment like the rest of us."

"Stop saying that!" Alice crossed her arms and scowled at me. "Well what good are you then?"

"Hey, what did I do?" Was she serious?

"It's not what you did; it's what you can't do!"

"Yeah, that's right, it's my fault."

"Ladies, can we keep the sniping to a minimum? I know we're all tense but turning against one another is not part of the plan. This is about staying united, is it not?" Jasper looked down at both of us like we were naughty school kids. I didn't know why I was getting lectured; I hadn't done anything at all.

"Sorry Jasper. Sorry Bella. I'm just not used to going this long without seeing something. It's very annoying."

Edward walked into the room and any lingering irritation I felt with Alice went away at the sight of him. He was just so beautiful. He gave me my special smile and sat on the arm of the couch next to me. I leaned against him and he kissed the top of my head. "Everything alright, love?" I nodded and just absorbed the electricity that flowed between the two of us. He kept me grounded.

"What did Carlisle have to say?"

"Nothing new. Eleazar still can't find anyone who's heard of Haides. We did find out that his name means unseen in Greek, which could be a clue or could be nothing."

"Maybe his parents were Satan worshippers," Emmett pointed out as he and Rose came in from the garage. They were both covered with entirely too much motor oil but that didn't stop Emmett from dropping into the recliner and pulling Rose into his lap.

Jasper rolled his eyes but otherwise ignored Emmett. "Anything else?"

"He's thinking about reaching out to some of the other talented vampires he's met over the years. Siobhan's coven in Ireland, in particular. There's a girl there, Maggie, who knows when people are lying. It couldn't hurt to have someone else that can see through people on our side."

Jasper shook his head. "Kind of superfluous but it couldn't hurt either."

"Carlisle's hoping for strength in numbers. He thinks maybe if we show up en masse and demand that we all be left alone, maybe the Volturi will back down." Edward played with the ends of my hair, curling them around his beautiful long fingers.

Jasper laughed bitterly. "Right."

Edward shrugged. "More vampires on our side couldn't hurt."

Emmett nodded. "The more the merrier! They can all be there when Bella fries the Volturi and I take my rightful place as King of the Vampires. Then we'll throw a big party, so it'd be nice if they were already there."

Rose smacked him upside the head. "And why, exactly, would you be the king?"

"Well, Carlisle doesn't want to do it, even though he makes the most sense. Edward is too emo to be king. Jasper would be swayed by too many overemotional sorts, so I'm all that's left, obviously." He looked very proud and grinned at us. "Don't worry; I will always remember the little people."

"Little people? You mean the ones that would actually be doing the work to overthrow the Volturi?" Jasper asked with a laugh. "While you sit back and wait?"

"Isn't that what royalty does?" Emmett asked with a grin. The room exploded with laughter then because really, it was true. They let others fight the battles after all.

"Emmett, you never fail to make me laugh," I told him.

"That's what I'm here for, Little Sis."

"You're the king of something alright, Emmett, but it sure isn't vampires," Rose told him.

"Well, Rosie, I'm the king of lots of things but those are best not discussed with company," he gave her a lascivious grin. "Besides, if I'm King, you get to be Queen. Tell me you wouldn't enjoy that?"

Rose preened and moved her hand in the back and forth motion that the Queen of England seemed to use. Speaking of England…

"When is Esme getting back? She was only supposed to pick out some curtains for the London house," I pointed out.

"Bella, not everyone runs into and out of a store in two minutes like you do. Picking out the right fabric is important, not to mention she has to see if they have enough panels and the colors must go with…"

"Never mind, Alice, I get it. It's a process." The last thing I wanted was a lecture on interior decorating.

Edward's cell phone rang then and Edward smiled as he answered. "We were just talking about you. Bella was wondering what was taking you so long and Alice had to explain that picking out curtains was akin to invading a small country. Will you be home soon?"

"That depends what you mean by home, I suppose," an all too familiar voice intoned.

Every single one of us gasped as Edward's hand tightened on the phone. "Aro, what are you doing with Esme's phone?" Jasper was on his feet in a flash, prepared to take off as soon as we had more information. I felt my body tense and venom well as the urge to hunt down Aro overtook me.

"Well that should be obvious, dear boy! I'm calling you. I'd heard that you wanted to speak with me but I'm afraid I've been indisposed recently. I hear you have some delightful news about your dear wife?"

"Let me ask you one last time, what are you doing with Esme's phone?" Edward's teeth were clenched. Alice's face was screwed up in concentration but she shook her head sadly. She couldn't see anything.

"Edward, my friend, I thought you were smart enough to figure that out."

"You have her," Edward choked out, anger vibrating through his body as his hand squeezed my shoulder.

"Very good! Do you know why I have your beloved mother figure?"

Emmett peered out the window, hoping to see Aro I guess while Rose glared at the phone. "Because you want Bella."

"Well, that is a rather crude way of putting it, but I suppose I shouldn't expect more from someone as young as you." Aro's smooth voice rang through the line, he sounded confident. I had felt that way once but not now. Terror was coursing through me at the thought of him having Esme. "Do you have any further questions that you already know the answer to? I don't like having my time wasted."

"Don't hurt her," Edward barked; his voice still confident despite what was transpiring.

"Really, Edward, do you think that I'm that uncouth? Your dear mother is going to be treated with all the dignity and respect I give to everyone who steps foot in my home. Of course not everyone steps back out when they visit, but time will tell on that front, won't it?" Aro's voice was menacing and sent chills down my spine.

"When?"

"Finally, a pertinent question. I expect your lovely wife to arrive within the week. Surely you don't want to keep Esme from Carlisle for very long anyway?"

"How could you do this to Carlisle? He's been nothing but loyal to you," Edward demanded.

"So loyal that he created a coven of highly skilled vampires? Even if I believed in coincidences, which I don't, it's a stretch of the imagination to think he could just stumble upon you all the way he claims."

"What bull," Rose muttered. Jasper cursed and Emmett threw open the front door as if he was going to head to Volterra right that minute. Aro chuckled as he heard their muted responses.

"It's not a claim, it's the truth," Edward snarled through gritted teeth. I put my hand over his on my shoulder, trying to calm him. Arguing wouldn't do any good at this point.

"My truth differs from yours. You have one week, I suggest you get to Volterra soon. I'd hate to have a lonely houseguest." Before Edward could say another word the phone went dead.

"What are we going to do?" Alice asked; her eyes wide and full of pain.

This was because of me and there was only one thing I could do at this point. "We fight," I answered.

* * *

**A/N Uh oh! Told you the action was about to ramp up! We have an Esmenapping! Looks like a peaceful discussion with Aro might not work out so well, huh?**

**So, I did a one shot for the Love of the Game contest over at The Writer's Coffee Shop. It's under my FF profile here as well and it's called First & Ten, my first solo AH story. Edward is a quarterback. Bella is a journalist and interviewing him is her first big assignment. Locker rooms are hot and sweaty...you do the math. :) The response has been amazing and I'll definitely be continuing it when the contest is over. Would love for you guys to check it out and let me know what you think. Combining my love of fic with my love of football made me very happy.**

**The Silence of the Wolves contest is ongoing and we have our first entry. Be sure to check it out and submit your own. It's fun, I swear! See you all next week!**


	42. Chapter 42

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 42

EPOV

The cacophony of voices and thoughts that assaulted my ears at Bella's words was almost too much to bear. Everybody was speaking at once, trying to talk over one another plus their minds were whirling with pain and confusion over Aro having taken Esme. I glanced at Jasper who looked physically ill as he absorbed all the emotion. "Quiet! Everyone just calm down for a minute before Jasper and I go insane!" I shouted. Thankfully my words registered and their physical voices silenced. I could hear myself think now.

"Seriously, rein it in guys," Jasper spoke through gritted teeth. "You're not doing Esme any good by panicking right now and you're making it impossible for me to focus on anything other than what you're all feeling. I feel the same way, but please try to calm down. There's no good to come from overreacting."

"But Jasper, what are we going to tell Carlisle?" Alice's voice was even more high-pitched than usual.

"When will he be home?" Jasper asked her.

She closed her eyes for a second. "Twenty seven minutes."

"Sure, she can tell that but she can't even tell us that Esme's going to be kidnapped," Rose snapped, crossing her arms and glaring at our tiny sister.

"I couldn't see! I don't know why, I still can't see her or Aro at all. He found a way to get around me! What could I do, Rose? If I saw something, I would have told you," Alice sniped back, incensed at being blamed. Jasper was glaring at Rose while Emmett put a hand on her shoulder.

"Rosie, it's not Alice's fault."

"No, it's not anyone's fault, right? It's certainly not all powerful Bella's, who of course Aro wants so badly that he's willing to kill us all to get to her. Don't think that he isn't considering that. I don't need Alice's visions to know what kind of manipulative fiend he is!" Rose raged. _Don't you even start, Edward. We wouldn't be in this mess if it weren't for Bella and you know it._

"Don't tell me not to start, Rose!" I shouted right back at her as if she'd spoken the words. "This is not Bella's fault. If it's anyone's, it's mine. I'm the one who made her a vampire, right? So I'm the one who caused her power to manifest. Blame me!" I would take it. Bella wouldn't be a vampire if it weren't for me so I was the one to blame.

_Oh, naturally, Edward is ready to take all the blame for everything in the world. What a shocker. _Rose's thoughts were accompanied with an eye roll and I growled at her.

"Just stop it, right now," Bella ordered softly, her words sounding strong despite her soft voice. She wasn't using her power but everyone turned to her anyway. She took a deep breath. "Edward, I know you want to take all of this on yourself but you know as well as I do that you're not at fault for this. I asked for this life. The choice is on me, not on you. If you weren't a vampire, you wouldn't have been alive for me to meet and fall in love with. So stop hating what you are. What you are brought you to me and we both know that is right for both of us." Her hand reached for mine and I automatically twined our fingers. She was right, of course, but I wished things were different. If only I'd been born in another time.

"Rose, you can blame me if you want. I blame myself as well." I opened my mouth to interrupt but Bella put her other hand over my lips to silence me. "I can't help what my power is and frankly I don't want to. I like it. But it is my fault that I lost control and hurt Tanya the way I did. I take the blame completely."

"Bella, you didn't know you even had a power at that time," Jasper pointed out, still frowning over at Rose.

"No, I didn't but I still lost control and for that I'm sorry. I can't help that I have a power and that Aro wants it, Rose. All I can do is make sure that he never gets his hands on it. You, of all people, should know just what kind of abuse could happen in the hands of someone like Aro." Rose flinched at her words. "Blaming me for having it, blaming Edward for turning me, Alice for not seeing; none of that is going to do us any good. We could point the accusatory finger all the way down the line at Carlisle, for making Edward, Esme, you and Emmett; or we could blame the vampire who turned Carlisle. What good does it do?"

Rosalie sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry. I don't like when anyone messes with my family."

"Then don't turn on the rest of them. We all feel the same way, Rosie," Emmett pointed out, tightening his arms around her. "Aro is the one at fault. He's the one we have to fight, not each other."

"How are we going to tell Carlisle?" Alice asked again, her voice more mournful than panicked like it was earlier. She could already see, of course, but seeing it and physically dealing with in person was beyond comprehension.

"We just do. I don't know that there's any way to cushion the blow," Jasper said, sinking back onto the couch. "I can do what I can to help but we all know that in his position, we'd lose it completely. I don't know how much I can do but I'll try. I need you all to remain as calm as you can though. I can't deal with all of you and him at the same time."

There were murmurs of ascent from all of us. "We have to start planning. Alice, can you see anything about our trip to Volterra?" I asked. We needed something practical to focus on instead of our worry about Esme.

She scrunched up her face. "I see us arriving. Carlisle looks awful." He truly did, like he'd aged about a hundred years since when he left this morning. "That's all I see, until we decide on what we're going to do. Going to Italy is a done deal." Well of course it was; Italy was where Esme was. There was no option other than to go and get her.

"So we need a plan then."

"Yeah but I couldn't see them take her, so how will I see if our plan works?"

Jasper tugged Alice onto his lap. "I think we're just going to have to have a little faith on this one, Alice."

She frowned. "I don't like it." Nor did any of us but what choice did we have.

"Alright, let's focus. Why do we think that Alice can't see?" I asked.

"Well, I doubt they're using werewolves, seeing as they hate them. So, maybe they found someone with a power that blocks hers," Emmett suggested.

Jasper snapped his fingers. "Haides…unseen. That's why Aro didn't drop everything immediately to come after Bella. He wanted Demetri to find Haides so we wouldn't know what he was planning."

"Do you think so? There's someone out there with the power to block me?" Alice was not happy to hear that news at all.

"There are all kinds of powers, Alice. Bella can block certain powers after all and she's not a shield. Aro has that one girl, Renata, who can physically keep people away from him, right?" I nodded confirmation at Jasper. "So, say this Haides guy is immune to powers. It would explain why you haven't seen Demetri since he said something about finding him."

"But if he can block me, can he block all of us? Even Bella?" Alice asked, her voice rising again.

Jasper didn't look happy but nodded. "It's possible. Carlisle will know more about it than I do. Eleazar would be even better to ask. We need to get a hold of him."

Alice smiled. "Now him I can see! He's home." We knew that he was back in range, of course. He'd called us after listening to his messages and speaking with Tanya. He knew what she'd inadvertently done and he was as unhappy about it as the rest of us.

"Good," I said. I didn't like the idea of anyone being able to block us, but if he could stop all of us then…"If this guy can block any power, then he can block Aro and Jane and Alec as well." Jasper's eyes narrowed and he smiled.

"Aro's not going to face us without his gift and his toys. So they'll probably send Haides away as soon as they know we're hitting town. This is good," Jasper said with satisfaction.

"Good? How can you call it good?" Rose demanded.

"He won't let his powers be neutralized which means ours won't be either. Alice will be able to see as soon as Aro splits off from Haides. Edward will hear their thoughts, I'll be able to control mood and most importantly, Bella can control their minds. Alice, can you see us actually in Volterra?"

"Yes," she said decisively. I got a flash of the clock tower where I'd nearly ended my life almost a year ago and my hand tightened on Bella's.

"Then either he's not there or his power is very localized," Jasper said with satisfaction. "And as long as Haides is around, Aro won't be able to read Esme either. He won't know just how powerful Bella is."

"Does that matter?" Emmett asked. "He knows she can control minds."

"Yes, but right now all he knows is that she lost control and Tanya got an unwanted hair cut. He doesn't know that she can turn her power on as easily as I can now. I'm not saying he will underestimate her, but he could. Especially if Bella plays that card when she meets with him."

Wait a minute. "What do you mean, when _she _meets with him? Where do you think the rest of us are going to be?" I'd be damned if I was going to let my wife walk into the lion's den alone.

"Calm down, Edward. Bella is more than capable of taking control of the entire Volturi without any of us. I'm not saying she will, just spit balling ideas."

"Well I don't like that idea," I muttered. Bella's hand caressed my cheek and I leaned into her calming touch.

"She's stronger than all of us combined, man. Don't forget that." I knew she wasn't my fragile human anymore but she was still my Bella. I still couldn't wrap my mind around her being that powerful and it didn't matter if she was, I wasn't leaving her side as long as Aro was set on having her join him.

Jasper looked around the room and took each of us in his gaze. "We need to face the fact that as long as Aro is alive, he is going to come after our family. I think we need to prepare for the possibility that we're going to have to kill him." My body froze at his words as my mind whirled at the implication. I knew he was right about Aro not giving up but I also knew Carlisle would be very much against it.

"Carlisle won't like that," Alice whispered. I could see Alice's vision of Carlisle's reaction to Jasper's plan of killing Aro. Even knowing that he'd taken Esme, Carlisle's natural compassion rebelled against his desire to protect his family. His long standing friendship with Aro also warred with the idea of killing him.

"They took his wife, Alice! Surely he can see that death is the only answer," Emmett's normally jovial face was eerily similar to Jasper's in that moment. They were warriors, willing to lay down their lives to preserve our family unit.

Before Alice could respond, my Bella spoke up. "What if it's not the only answer?"

I turned to her and looked into those confident, lovely eyes. How I wished she'd let me into her head at this moment but she was keeping her own counsel for now. A part of me feared that she was formulating some self-sacrificing plan that she didn't want me to know about. We'd be talking about that in private and soon. I was going to nip any insanity she might be planning in the bud. "What do you mean, love?"

She smiled and squeezed my hand, still so calm and composed despite everything happening around her. "Well, what if I can do what Jasper suggested? What if I can erase us all from their memories?"

Jasper frowned. "It's not something you've really tried…"

"But I have! I erased us from the minds of the humans in that classroom."

"True, but that was just one glimpse of us. You're talking about a lifetime full of memories, especially in Aro's case. He's been in Edward's and Alice's minds, along with all the time he spent with Carlisle. It's not just one sighting you'd have to remove."

Bella looked at him beseechingly. "But it's worth a try, right? We're not killers." _Maybe not all of us, _Jasper thought with a flash of limbs on a battlefield. I had my own reaction to Bella's words as well. I had been a killer and I could be one again; if it meant protecting my family I would do anything. She turned to me. "Not anymore anyway," she said with a smile, as if she'd read my thoughts. "I'm not saying we rule it out completely but it's worth a try, right? If I can get in and take us out of their minds, we can finally live without looking over our shoulders." She was right about that, the Volturi had been hanging over us since my ill-advised trip to Italy. Yet another plague I'd brought down on the ones I loved.

"Yes, I suppose it is but you haven't had any practice at going in and finding old memories and taking them out of someone's head. And it's not like we have time to find someone to do it to," Jasper pointed out.

"You don't have to find someone," Rose's voice was shaky and quiet, very unlike her. We all turned to focus on her as she took a deep breath and turned to Bella. "You can try it on me."

"What?" Bella's disbelief echoed the rest of the room as we all said or thought the words simultaneously. Even Emmett was gaping at Rose as if he didn't know who she was.

Rose squared her shoulders and tugged herself out of Emmett's grasp, walking over to sit beside Bella. She turned to her and put a hand on her forearm. "Out of all of us, I'm the one who has memories they most want to lose."

"Rosie," Emmett breathed, coming to the couch and crouching down in front of her. "Are you sure about this? You hate the thought of letting anyone control you."

She released Bella and grasped both of Emmett's hands in her own. "I let it control me for a long time, Emmett. And I've let it affect us even when I didn't realize it. I've resented everything I lost because of that incident and I'm tired of it. I have the family I want, the life I want now. Yes, I've lost some things but I've gained a lot more." She put her hand on his cheek. "I want to do this, for us and for Esme."

Emmett's eyes swam with emotion as he looked at her. "You're the most amazing woman in the world and you're mine. I love you, Rosie." He kissed her ever so gently despite the passion and love in his words, as if she was made of glass and he would break her with too much force.

"I love you too, Emmett," she smiled at him after they broke their kiss. She turned back to Bella and her back stiffened again. "I'm ready," her posture belied her words but her eyes and voice were confident.

Bella watched her warily, looking for any flicker of unease but seeing none. "Are you really sure?" she asked hesitantly. I knew she was frightened of doing something wrong and having Rosalie hate her forever. They'd come so far but their connection remained rather tenuous even now.

"Yes, Bella. Please, take what happened to me away. I don't want to remember Royce King and what he did to me. I don't want that memory to control me anymore." She squared her shoulders and her face was fearless but her voice cracked as she spoke the name of the man who still had power over her to this day. Still, she nodded her head decisively.

Bella glanced at Jasper. "How do I even do it? It's not like I can read minds."

"You can't read thoughts but you read minds all the time. Just focus, the same way you did when you were locating our power centers. Find the memories and read them just like you read your favorite novels. They're not active thoughts, they buried parts of the brain and you can get to them." Jasper's voice was confident and Bella took comfort from his words. She leaned into me and I tightened my arms around her waist. I'd give her anything I could. In fact, maybe…

"Jasper, is it possible that I could help?" I could read minds, after all. Maybe there was a way to share that with her.

He looked at me and his face lit up like the sun after a moment. "You've always had a weird connection beyond anything I've ever seen. If she opens her mind to you and you open your mind to her, I don't think it could hurt anyway." We all looked to Alice who was bouncing up and down on Jasper's lap. He grunted and stilled her.

"It's going to work!" I felt excitement flowing through me at the thought of combining power with Bella. "The two of you…wow. It's just amazing." She showed me and I fought off a shudder at the feeling that coursed through me. We were connected in a way I'd never known possible. I wanted to experience it more than I wanted anything in the world.

Bella beamed up at me, her eyes shining with joy. "Are you ready, then?" I nodded mutely and laced my fingers with her own. _Edward, I love you. _I smiled and pressed a kiss to her cheek as she let me in. I opened my mind to hers, letting her consume my every thought for a moment. I could almost feel her moving through my head, finding my power and tapping into it. I felt strength like I'd never known flowing through me.

_Focus on Rose, _Bella's voice filled my mind and instantly I was within Rosalie's head. It was a completely new sensation for me, like I could actually see Rose's brain and navigate through it with Bella. I saw flashes as we got to the part of Rose's brain that held her memories. I wove through them, so many were of her and Emmett, our family, school after boring school. I dug deeper and started to see hazier images of a golden haired child playing with an equally lovely blond doll, two younger brothers pestering her as she attempted to make herself beautiful for a date with…and there he was. Royce King, smug bastard. Rose's memory of him was not remotely hazy, unlike the rest of her human thoughts. These were the memories she had nursed and used for years to keep herself fueled with anger and hatred. Would those emotions be gone? Would she still be the Rosalie we all knew and loved, although sometimes that love was begrudging?

I saw a dark street and Rosalie hurrying home as some dark shadows approached her from behind. I grasped that image and squeezed Bella's hand, letting her know we had it if she didn't know already. _I see it, Edward. Let's try to take it away, okay? _I squeezed again, not wanting to verbally respond for fear that I would lose the memory.

_Forget him, _Bella's lovely voice echoed in Rose's head. I saw the memory curl in upon itself and mentally pulled it from her head like a string. I searched quickly and it was gone, that night that had ended Rosalie's life and colored her whole future. I quickly found each image of Royce in her memory and pulled them out for Bella and she kept repeating _Forget him, _and I took the thought away.

Finally, after what may have only been minutes but felt like hours, I didn't see him anymore. I stroked Bella's hand lightly. _No more? _ I squeezed in response and felt her, us, edging out of Rose's mind. I was loath to let go of the connection I felt to Bella. It was new and even beyond our physical and mental connection while making love. Sharing power…I started to wonder vaguely if we could do that while making love and decided to explore that as soon as we were out of the Volturi's crosshairs.

I felt Bella slip out of our connection and opened my eyes. She was looking up at me as if I was the only person in the entire world. "That was…"

"Amazing," I finished for her, my lips meeting hers hungrily. I wanted to explore the connection even more but Emmett's irritated voice broke through our passion.

"Well did it work?" he demanded.

Bella nodded. "I think so; I guess we just need to ask her." Rose appeared to be completely relaxed and she opened her eyes. Odd, I hadn't noticed that she'd closed them but then I'd only seen her mind and felt Bella during our exploration.

"Rosie?" Emmett sounded fearful. _What if they messed up and took everything? What if she doesn't remember me? _I knew all too well what he was feeling, having been there myself during Bella's transformation.

Rose frowned up at him. "Why are you looking at me as if you think I'll faint dead away?"she asked him in an irritated voice. Clearly we hadn't altered her personality. "Really, Emmett, what's wrong?"

"Do you remember?" he asked fearfully, his hands gripping her knees. He knew that Alice said it worked but he couldn't be positive until she told him.

"Remember what?" she asked, looking thoroughly annoyed at all of us staring at her.

"You told Bella she could go into your mind and take some memories away," Emmett told her warily, afraid that she wouldn't remember that much and she'd bite all our heads off for letting Bella invade her mind.

"Well of course I remember, I'm not an idiot, Emmett. I told her she could take…" she broke off, a frown on her lovely face. "What did I tell her she could take?" she asked him, confusion in her tone.

"It's not important, Rosie. Something you didn't want to remember. Clearly it worked," Emmett said hastily.

_What did I ask her to take? _Rose's thoughts were completely mystified. _I guess it worked, since I can't remember what it was. _

"What's the last thing you remember?" Jasper asked eagerly, looking like he'd won the lottery he was so excited.

Rose frowned and tossed her long blond hair back off her shoulders. "I remember telling Bella she could take something and then Edward said maybe they could combine powers and then that's it."

"Fantastic," Jasper murmured, awe in his tone. "And you two? What was it like?"

I didn't know if I could put it into words. "It was like being one," Bella answered for me and that was as good an explanation as any.

"I felt her inside my head for the first time; it was like she took her power and magnified mine. When I was in Rose's head…I guess it was like what happens for Aro. I could see all her memories and thoughts. When I found," I broke off, not wanting to slip and say his name. "When I found what she asked for, I pulled it out of her mind, like I was picking a flower or pulling on string." I looked down at Bella. "Did you feel that?"

"I did. I don't know how but I could see the memories right along with you. It was intense." That was as good a word as any for it.

Jasper's smile was a mile wide. "This is incredible. I wonder if she can do it with me, with Alice. Elevating each one of us…who knows what we could do!"

Bella laughed and shook her head. "All in good time, Jasper. We'll explore it all when we have Esme back." Her voice hardened as she spoke of our mother. "Right now, I think connecting with Edward is all I need. We can combine to erase us all from their heads, particularly Aro's."

"So no fight?" Emmett asked in a sour tone, disappointment on his normally jovial face.

Jasper shook his head. "We have to be prepared for anything and that includes a physical confrontation. We'll avoid it if we can, but I'm not ruling anything out." He glanced at Rose and took a deep breath. "Maybe we should call Royce and run it by him."

We were all silent as we waited to see her reaction. It was a good idea, to see if we really had gotten everything. Just because she couldn't remember what we were looking for didn't mean that we'd actually erased the memory.

Her face remained serene but confusion flashed in her eyes. "Who is Royce and why would we call him?" she asked.

Emmett's smile was almost blinding as he threw his arms around me and Bella. "Thank you," he said reverently, his words soft while his arms were nearly crushing us.

"What the hell, Emmett? Why are you attacking them? What's going on around here? Who is Royce?" Rose demanded.

"Nobody important, just an evil being who used to be with the Volturi," Jasper answered, a smile ghosting over his lips.

"I don't think we need to bring anybody else into this," Rose pointed out and Emmett released us and wrapped his arms around her still beaming.

"You're right, Rosie. We'll never think of him again," his voice was positively gleeful.

Alice sighed and we all froze as we heard a car approaching. Carlisle was home and it was time to tell him what had transpired with Esme. None of us was looking forward to this and the tension that had seeped out of the room since Bella's and my combining of powers returned tenfold.

"This sucks," Emmett moaned.

"Maybe I should tell him," Bella spoke quietly. "It's because of me and…"

"Stop that! It's not because of you, it's because of Aro," I corrected.

She leaned against me and sighed. "I know, but it's the result of something I did. I feel like I should be the one to tell him." I looked into her eyes and saw the resolution there and caressed her cheek.

"I can see that you're sure," I told her quietly.

"I am." She sat up straighter as the car came to a stop and the door shut. Tension vibrated through her body as the front door opened and Carlisle came unerringly into the living room. He took us all in and the happiness in his thoughts faded as he saw our expressions. _This doesn't look good._

"What is it?" he asked calmly, his features solidifying into his physician's mask as he prepared for whatever we had to say.

Bella took a deep breath and got off the couch. He watched her steadily as she walked toward him and reached a hand out to his. He took hers in his own and arranged his lips into a kind smile. "What is it, Bella?" He could sense her nerves and wanted to be soothing for her. And soon she would shatter him. I braced like I was about to receive a blow and only wished I could take it for him.

"Carlisle, I have something to tell you and it's going to be very upsetting but I want you to know that we can make it right. Together, we can handle anything, right?" Bella asked.

"Yes, sweetheart, we can. This family is united and whole, finally. We can face anything. I don't want you to worry about the Volturi. Eleazar and I have been talking and we think together we can appeal to Aro. We'll make sure your family is safe, I promise."

Bella made a slight choking sound and his eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you alright? Bella, we won't let anything happen to them, you have my word." I felt like I'd been stabbed in the chest and I could tell from the reactions of my brother's and sister's that they did as well. There Carlisle was, being compassionate and worrying over Bella's other family when it was this one, his, that had been ripped apart.

"Carlisle," Bella heaved a sigh and bit her lip. "It's not my family that's in danger. It's ours."

His eyes flew around the room. "You're all here. Esme said she was going shopping and she should be home at anytime. We'll be fine, Bella. Nobody can get to us without us knowing about it. Alice is our built in warning system." Alice gasped and buried her head in Jasper's shoulder, shaking with sobs.

Carlisle finally seemed to register that something was very wrong and Bella's fears were not that something would happen but that something did happen. _No, please no. _"Where…where is Esme?" he asked, fear in his tone. His hands tightened on Bella's as he willed her to tell him that Esme was right where she was supposed to be, buying more furnishings for the London house.

Bella closed her eyes for a second before opening them and looking at him with pure sorrow. "Aro has her. He called just a bit ago. Somehow they took her without us seeing." Carlisle's knees buckled and Bella caught him as he started to fall to the floor. Emmett, Jasper and I hopped to our feet and ran to help instinctively, even though Bella was more than capable of supporting his weight.

"It's not possible," he whispered, shaking his head in denial even though he knew Bella's words were true. His grip tightened on Bella's and she let out a small gasp of pain but didn't pull away. "We would have known, wouldn't we? Alice?" he implored, looking to her as though she had all the answers, like she could change Bella's words and make them untrue.

The four of us led Carlisle over to the couch as Alice answered Carlisle. "I didn't see, I still can't. Somehow Aro found a way around me. I'm so sorry, Carlisle. This is my fault. I should have known. I felt like something was going to happen but I never saw it and now she's gone," her voice broke and Jasper ran to her and pulled her into his arms.

"It's not your fault. It's Aro's. Nobody but Aro's" he said, running his hands gently over her back as he cradled her in his arms.

_Aro wouldn't do this to me._ "How could he do this to me?" Carlisle asked hollowly. "We just want to be left alone. Why can't we be?"

Bella implored him to look at her. "Carlisle, we will be. We're going to go to Italy and take her back. We will get her back, I promise you."

He looked at Bella but seemed unable to focus on her. _Esme, my sweet Esme. How could anybody take you from me? What would I do without you? _

"Carlisle?" Bella asked gently and got no response. His mind was filled with images of Esme and their lives together. I shook my head at her. She nodded her understanding. "Carlisle, _listen to me."_ His eyes flew to hers then and he was able to focus.

"We're going to get her. We're already making plans. Aro wants us to be there within the week."

He started to stand but she tightened her hold on his hands. "We need to go now," he pointed out, thoughts of getting to Esme the only thing in his mind.

"We need to make a plan," Jasper said, still holding Alice as she shook with unshed tears. "We can't just go to Italy without a strategy."

"_Plan? Strategy?"_ Carlisle's voice was filled with rage. "I won't have her sitting around waiting for me while we make a plan, Jasper! He has my wife!" He yanked one hand out of Bella's grasp and hit the back of the couch, sending a loud cracking sound through the room as the baseboard beneath split in two. The couch held together but barely. It felt strange to see Carlisle coming apart at the seams but any of us would be the same way if it was our spouse.

Jasper sent a wave of calm at Carlisle and he scowled but stopped attempting to pull away from Bella. "Don't you try to sway me, Jasper. I know what you're doing and it doesn't change the fact that Aro has my wife!" But his voice was calmer, despite his words.

Jasper nodded. "I know what you're feeling, I can feel it too. Don't think that all of us aren't just as worried as you are. But we can't go face the Volturi without being prepared for every scenario."

Carlisle's shoulders slumped and he leaned against Bella. "I know. Logically I know that but she's my wife, Jasper. I want to believe Aro won't harm her but the fact that he took her…" he pulled back and looked at Bella.

"Tell me everything." So she did, from the phone call right through our experiment on Rose, though she skimmed over what we took, he understood. There was a ghost of pride in his eyes but it went away quickly as Esme filled his thoughts. "So you think this Haides has some kind of power to deflect other powers?"

Jasper shrugged. "It makes sense and explains why Alice didn't see it happening and hasn't seen Aro since he called us. We assume he's traveling with him and we won't see him until they separate."

Carlisle was trying his hardest to focus. _I won't do her any good if I panic. I just need to get to her. _"There have always been rumors about vampires that were able to cancel out powers. I've never heard of them finding one but it makes sense that Aro would be after someone with that ability, especially now." _Why couldn't he just leave us alone? He said I would be free to live my life in peace. I'm trying. My family is what brings me joy. Esme..._his mental voice was filled with anguish and I put a bolstering hand on his shoulder and gave him a supportive squeeze.

"I can see us in Volterra, so we know that Haides must not be there when we arrive," Alice said softly, having finally stopped sobbing. "I'm so sorry Carlisle." He opened his arms and she raced into them.

"It's not your fault, Alice." His words were reassuring, despite the turmoil in his mind. He amazed me all the time but even more so now, when he could put aside his grief to comfort Alice. He looked over at Bella and correctly read the guilt on her face. "It's not yours either. You can't help who you are, Bella, or that he wants you for his collection. I don't blame either one of you. I blame him."

I breathed a sigh of relief at his words. If he'd blamed Bella, it would have killed her. I knew that he wouldn't but we'd all lashed out and started blaming one another when we first heard the news. Carlisle was better than the rest of us, but then that had always been the case.

She looked up at him, relief shining in her eyes. "I swear to you, we will get her back, safe and sound. And we'll make sure they never come after us again."

Carlisle looked pale but resigned. "You want to kill him? I…I don't know if I can do that, despite everything. He was my friend before all this and I just…but I don't want him to come after us either. I don't know how to make him stop." _How could he? He knows what she means to me. He's seen it in Edward's and even in my own thoughts. If he does harm her, how can I let him live? Could I kill him to stop him from coming after my family? I would do anything for them but it feels so wrong. _

"I think," Bella began and then she shook her head. "No, I _know; _that we can do it without killing Aro. That's why Rose let me practice on her. I'm going to go into their minds and erase us all from their memory. It's the only way we can be sure they'll leave us alone for good."

"You can do that?" Carlisle stared at her, surprise and a hint of hope coloring his tone.

"I took some memories from Rose. Well, Edward and I did," she smiled at me. "Together, I'm sure we can do it." _The possibilities are endless. How can I think of this now, when Esme isn't here? Thank God Bella's part of my family. Thank God they both are. Esme…_I wanted to shout with joy that there wasn't a hint of regret in his mind over Bella being with us, despite Aro's actions.

"Thank you for volunteering for that." He looked over at Rose. "I know it can't have been easy for you."

Rosalie cleared her throat and smiled. "I don't know what she took from me but I know it was worth it if we can get Esme back unharmed. I'd do anything for this family." Carlisle glanced at me and asked _Royce? _I nodded. _That's good then, that's she's free of that burden. _That he could be a father to us all now, when his life had been cruelly yanked from him, astounded me.

"I know you would," Carlisle's face softened. "I'm so proud of you. All of you." He glanced around the room and took a deep breath, steeling himself. "So what do we do?"


	43. Chapter 43

**A/N I'm putting my note up here because it's important stuff. I have good news and well...hopefully it's all good news! I am officially finished writing SL and it is indeed 45 chapters and an epilogue. Which means we have 3 to go from here. And since the action is heavy and I don't want to make you wait a week for that which is already finished, I decided to speed up the publishing schedule. I'll post every 2-3 days until we're done, timing it so the epilogue runs next Saturday. I'll still have some outtakes to write and I am still taking requests on that but for all intents and purposes, SL is coming to an end. I'll save my thank yous for the epilogue but know that I am still stunned and thrilled by all the support you've given me. I'll stop yapping now and let you get to reading. Chapter 44 will be along shortly!**

**The Cullen's jet can be found on my profile if you want to check it out.  
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Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 43

**BPOV**

Carlisle's question was met with a near immediate flurry of activity. I didn't really know what I could do to help at this point so I just sat and held onto him. It felt like he needed the contact with one of us. I knew I could help him to forget or at least to function but I know if I was in his place I wouldn't want anyone taking my grief and fear away from me. I'd want to use it. Hopefully Carlisle could use his. He looked pretty lost and held on to me like I was a lifeline.

"Alice, call and charter the jet for sometime tomorrow afternoon," Jasper ordered. She nodded and started dialing. "Edward, call and get us another plane to leave ASAP, that's the one we'll actually be on. If they're watching us, I want them to think we're a day behind. Use one of the hidden accounts, odds are they don't know about them or aren't watching us that closely. If they are, there's nothing that can be done about it but let's do what we can to disguise our real moves." Edward ran over to the computer while also using his phone to make a call. "Em, Rose," he broke off and watched Carlisle carefully. "Get together some blankets and clothes, just in case we need them." What he didn't say, but what we all heard, was that Esme might not be in great shape when we found her. Carlisle winced and gripped me tighter, letting out a soft moan but not saying a word. Emmett and Rosalie hurried upstairs.

Jasper was every bit the military man in that moment, guiding us with strategic words and confidence in his orders. He took out his cell phone and dialed a number. "Eleazar, we need your advice," he announced in a clipped, hurried tone.

"What is it, Jasper?" there was concern in Eleazar's voice.

"Aro took Esme." There was an audible gasp over the line. "Alice couldn't see him. We think he found a vampire that is capable of blocking our abilities,_ all_ of our abilities."

Eleazar sighed. "I'm so sorry for Tanya's part in this. I didn't think he'd come directly after your family. It's more his style to go after Bella's parents."

"He did," Jasper said, glancing at Carlisle, whose hands were gripping mine almost painfully now.

"Yes, yes of course Esme is a parent as well. I meant her human parents. They're far more susceptible to harm and well…I assumed he wouldn't do something like that to Carlisle. I don't know why. Aro rarely puts friendship before his own desires."

"So, have you ever heard of a vampire with a talent like that, the ability to block?"

"Certainly, that power would fall under the classification of a shield. I've never seen one that could physically block all powers but there have always been rumors that such a vampire existed. Aro has searched the world over for years for someone like that and I imagine he only redoubled his efforts when he learned of the talents in your family. Even before Bella's power manifested, he desired Alice and Edward to join him. After he found out Bella's power…nothing would deter him from wanting her."

"I figured as much," Jasper responded dryly. "Alice can see us arriving in Volterra, so we assume that Aro breaks off from Haides, or at least that Haides is not in Volterra."

"_Haides?" _Eleazar's voice was filled with disbelief. "He is real, then."

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked sharply.

"For years, even before I left the Volturi, Aro has spoken of one who cancels out every ability. He ran across a vampire who had encountered Haides in the late 1800's. This vampire, Jonas, had an offensive ability pretty similar to Kate's I believe. He attempted to show Haides his talent but was unable to shock him. His wife, Ellen, was a mind reader and she was unable to get anything as well. They stayed with him briefly but parted ways. When Aro saw Haides through Jonas' memories, he was incredibly excited but worried at the same time. Such a gift would render him useless as well. He made it a quest to find Haides but he never located him. Eventually it was chalked up to a rumor or an exaggeration for most of the Volturi, though Aro never forgot, I'm sure. It seems he finally found him."

"Just our luck," Jasper muttered. "So, do you think it makes sense that Aro would part ways with Haides once he arrived back in Volterra?"

"Without a doubt," Eleazar answered confidently. "He wouldn't want to be powerless, especially knowing that you are all going to be arriving soon."

"So you don't think he'd keep him around to neutralize Bella?" I bit my lip, for I had been worried about that as well.

Eleazar laughed sardonically. "One thing you should know about Aro is that the man is overconfident to the point of being reckless sometimes. He thinks he's invincible and he's never had much of a challenge. He's underestimated people before and he will again. Aro knows that a talent like Bella's would require a lot of cultivation. In fact, I'm sure that's one of the things he'll promise her when he speaks with her again. That he can guide her to her full potential. He won't begin to imagine that you are capable of that on your own. He will be guarded, rest assured, but I don't think he'd want Haides there to counteract him. He'll figure having Esme is enough."

"That's my other question; will he keep Esme in Volterra?"

"No. He will have her nearby but he won't keep her within the walls of Volterra. If he holds to form, she'll be guarded out of the city, close enough to bring in quickly if you comply but far enough away that you won't find her easily."

Carlisle whispered "Esme" so softly I almost didn't hear it. I wrapped my arms around him and he rested his head on my shoulder.

"How do we find her then?" Jasper demanded.

"Look for the holes in Alice's vision? When Edward can't hear thoughts, you're close? I can't say for sure. I was the one who told Aro a person's power, who helped him add to his collection. He didn't include me in his persuasion methods," there was an edge to Eleazar's voice. Guilt, maybe. "I don't like remembering that part of my life and I feel terrible that I helped Aro further his quest for power, especially now. Is there anything my family and I can do to help?"

"I don't think so," Jasper shook his head even though Eleazar couldn't see him. "If I think of anything, I'll call. All I can ask you to do is try to remember anything that might be of use to us. We'll be out of communication while we travel but leave us a message if you come up with anything."

"I will. And once again, I'm so sorry that this has happened…"

"It's not your fault," Jasper cut him off. "We'll talk about it further after we have Esme back. You'll hear from us soon." With that he shut the phone and went over to talk to Edward.

I sat there holding onto Carlisle as the word "fault" echoed through my mind. It wasn't Tanya's fault that the Volturi knew about me, it wasn't my fault that I had used my power on Tanya, it wasn't Edward's fault that he changed me…it had to be someone's fault and no matter what they said, I knew it was mine.

"Stop," Carlisle said, looking directly at me for the first time in awhile. "I know what you're doing and you can't blame yourself. I don't blame you, Bella." And he didn't, which was a miracle in and of itself. I didn't know I could be that kind if the situation were reversed. Would he be able to go right on not blaming me if something even worse happened to Esme? If Aro hurt or even ki…I wouldn't finish that thought. I knew if they harmed Esme that things would get out of control, quickly. And it was up to me to make sure that we maintained control at all times. Could I be cool when it mattered? It was one thing to play with minds when I was having fun or just practicing, it was entirely another to put it into practice when lives were on the line. And I had no doubt that was the case here. If I couldn't do my part, people I loved would die. I could not fail. _ I would not fail._

I repeated the words over and over to myself as everyone converged back in the living room. "Our plane is set to take off tomorrow at two PM," Alice announced. I told them to take off even though we won't be there and head toward Italy."

"We're leaving in an hour out of Lebanon Municipal Airport. I booked a Gulfstream 200 that's coming in from Boston. It should be there in about thirty minutes," Edward said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "We need to hit the road in about fifteen minutes."

"I'm driving," Rose grinned.

"The car?" I asked, apparently foolishly as several of my family members stifled laughs.

"The plane," Rose corrected me.

"It's easier that way, no pilot to explain anything to. I already hacked into the FAA database and filed our flight plan under the name Jenkins. They think we're going to Madrid." I started at my husband in wonder, would he ever fail to surprise me? Was there nothing he couldn't do?

Jasper nodded his approval. "Good, we shouldn't raise any red flags with the Volturi then."

Edward nodded. "Flight time is around seven and a half hours and we'll land in Pisa, about 30 miles out of Volterra. We can get there on foot in about twenty five minutes." Nearly nine hours until we were in Volterra. That seemed an interminable amount of time.

"The car's loaded," Emmett told us. "We packed clothes for everyone since we didn't know how long we'd be there." Hopefully not long at all, but who could say?

"Let's go," Carlisle said, finally releasing me and standing. He pulled me to my feet and gave my hand a grateful squeeze. "It's time to bring Esme home."

The ride to the airport was a blur but the plane was an experience. I'd never flown on a private plane before but of course the rest of my family preferred to travel that way, no humans around to tempt them. Rosalie got us in the air quickly while I sank back in my cushy leather seat and enjoyed the luxury around us. There were a couple of TV screens, although none of us were really in the mood to watch anything.

I longed for the escape of sleep, if only to shut off my mind for a few hours. I didn't miss much about being a human, but sleep was definitely on the list. It wasn't like I got tired, per se, I just sometimes wanted to shut out the world and it was impossible now. Instead I was forced to sit and do nothing but think for seven hours. To wonder what we were going to face in Volterra and to worry that I would fail and my family would suffer for it.

Alice plopped in the seat next to me and wound her arm through mine. "How are you doing?" she asked me in a solemn tone. How was I doing? I didn't really know how to answer that. I was…waiting.

"I'm alright, I guess. I wish I knew what was coming but…" her little face fell and I immediately regretted my words. "Alice, I'm not blaming you for not being able to see. It's just hard to plan ahead. You know that more than anybody."

"I feel like such a failure," she whispered. Jasper sent her a sharp glance from where he was engaged in conversation with Edward on strategy when we were on the ground and looked like he was about to get up. I shook my head at him and he stayed put.

"Every time you've failed to see something; we've come out alright, haven't we? I mean, here we are, despite bloody birthday parties and elusive nomadic vampires and shape shifters."

Alice let out a tinkling laugh. "It's nice of you to comfort me for failing by pointing out my many other failures, Bella."

I grinned at her. "You're only human, right?" She giggled again. "Seriously, Alice, I was beating myself up back at the house for causing all this and like Carlisle said, it's not my fault either. We're just in one of those impossible situations. We have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully you'll see something pretty soon; Aro should be back in Volterra sometime in the near future. You'll feel better once you know what's going on again."

She breathed a sigh of relief and put her head on my shoulder. "You're right, I will. I just need to see something. Aro, Esme, the guard…it doesn't matter what as long as it's helpful."

"And you will. Just wait for it to happen."

She lifted her head and looked me in the eye. "Even though I can't see, Bella, I do know that you can do this. You can get this family through whole. I'd like the comfort of knowing but I feel that we'll be alright. I always knew you'd be important to this family, I just didn't realize how much. It seems like we were always waiting for you without realizing it."

Alice's words warmed me in a way that my own thoughts couldn't. They all had such faith in me that it was impossible for me to let them down. Of course with all their confidence, I only felt more pressure. Failing wasn't an option though so I had to remain calm and hope for the best.

I felt a jolt as Edward's hand traced over the curve of my cheek. Would he always make me feel as if each touch was the first one? Alice chuckled and went over to join Carlisle, who hadn't uttered a word since we got into the plane. He just looked at the window, seeing something I couldn't begin to comprehend.

Edward slid into Alice's seat and wrapped his arm around me. "Hello, love." He pressed his lips to mine and sat next to me in companionable silence, much to my surprise. Didn't he want to reassure me? Didn't he want to know how I was feeling?

After several minutes of nothing but the pleasant hum of energy between the two of us, I had to ask. "Why aren't you asking how I am?"

He smiled that half smirk that never failed to send my silent heart into overdrive. I swear I could feel it pumping again when he looked at me like that. "I don't need to ask, I already know." What? Had I let him into my mind without knowing? This wasn't good, what if Aro could read me? I started to panic and Edward put a finger to my lips. "I'm not reading your mind, Bella."

"What then?"

"You think I haven't learned how to read you pretty well by now? Even though your face is smooth I can tell your mind is racing. I know you, Bella. I can feel you the same way you can feel me." I breathed a sigh of relief that I hadn't inadvertently opened my mind. I didn't mind so much with Edward but if I did that with Aro it probably wouldn't end well.

"You scared me!" I told him, elbowing him in his immobile chest and smiling when I got an "oof" out of him. "Didn't see that coming; did you?"

He chuckled and nuzzled my cheek with his lips. "No, I didn't. Are you annoyed that I know you well enough to know what you're feeling?"

He sounded a little hurt by that fact and I hastened to assure him that was not the case. "No, of course not. I guess you should know me pretty well by now, after all. But I can't lie; I kind of miss the days when I could keep my thoughts from you."

"I don't!" he grinned, though his smile faded quickly. "I do like that I can't read all of your thoughts, it makes it more special when you do let me in. But I don't need to be in your mind to know that you're nervous right now. I feel the same way." And I could see that it was true, there was a tightness to his features that was only there in times of stress.

I took his free hand in mine and played with his fingers. "I don't want to let anybody down."

"You couldn't, Bella." I opened my mouth to protest but he shook his head. "No, I'm not saying you couldn't fail, although I really don't believe you will. I'm saying that as long as you try, that's all that we could ask of you. This is a lot to put on your shoulders and every one of us is aware of it even if we don't seem to acknowledge it. No matter what happens, you and I will be together. That's the one thing in all of this that I am sure of."

I kissed him then, glad that he wasn't just giving me platitudes to calm me. He admitted that things might not go well. I did believe that, win or lose; Edward would remain at my side. If I somehow had to join Aro, though it was nearly inconceivable to think about, Edward would stay with me. He was what I truly needed in my life. I would do my best for him and for my family but if I was defeated I would not be alone.

He cupped my face when he broke our kiss. "I'll be right there with you and if we lose, we lose together. Being joined with your mind, doing what we did for Rose…I've never felt closer to you. I didn't think it was possible for us to get any closer," he broke off at a guffaw issuing from the cockpit, where Emmett was co-piloting next to Rose. "I didn't mean it like that," Edward smiled. "It was like we were one mind in that moment, not me reading you or vice versa. It was beautiful."

I kissed him again, partly because of what he said and partly because he was just so stunning when he spoke of it. It was like he was lit from within and I knew his words were a reflection of my thoughts. "Yes, it was like being one mind, one body….maybe even one soul." I wished I could find better words. "I was aware of you and of myself but we didn't feel like separate people in that moment."

He smiled. "I want to do it again, if we can."

I laughed. "We will be doing it again, hopefully in Volterra."

Edward laughed. "I mean when we're alone." Emmett made a gagging noise but Edward ignored him. "The thought of being joined like that, when we're making love…I'm not going to lie, it's entered my head more than once since we did it."

I laughed and squeezed his hand. "You're not alone." I definitely wanted to explore that in detail once this was all behind us.

He raised my hand to his lips and kissed it. "A woman after my own heart."

"I already have your heart." How long it had taken for me to accept that! I didn't doubt it anymore though.

Edward's eyes darkened and he flashed me a smile. "Yes, you do."

"Enough, lovebirds!" Jasper sat down across from me and gave us both a mock scowl. I could tell he was faking it because his lips twitched a little. I glanced over and saw Carlisle still staring out the window and felt sadness envelop me again. It seemed wrong to be fantasizing about making love with my husband while Carlisle was worrying about never seeing his wife again.

"How is he?" I asked Edward. I had a feeling Carlisle wouldn't respond if I asked him.

Edward frowned. "His thoughts are only of Esme. He isn't really even aware of what's going on around him. He's just waiting until he sees her again." I could understand that.

"He's numb," Jasper informed us. "It's like he's not feeling anything right now, or maybe I would say he's feeling everything and ignoring it." My heart went out to him.

"Is there anything we can do?"

Jasper thought about it for a minute and then shook his head. "I could send him some emotions but really I think it's better that he's like that. If he was drowning in sorrow I don't think we could even take him with us to Volterra. I'd rather he be shut down." It sounded horrible but it made sense.

We sat and chatted for awhile, passing the long flight as best we could. It was hardest on Alice, of course. She was a bundle of energy and she had nowhere to expend it. Jasper laughingly told me of a time when she nearly caused the plane to crash because she was whirling about the cabin too quickly.

"Oh, shut up! So we fell a few hundred feet, it was hardly a crash!" she huffed, plopping down on Jasper's lap as we all laughed at her. "I can't help it if I don't like being confined for long periods of time," she pointed out.

"That's not what I heard," Emmett bellowed from the front of the plane. A resounding smacking noise followed that comment so Alice refrained from getting up to give Emmett payback right then. It felt wrong, laughing at a time like this, but at the same time it was nice to let our minds wander from the task awaiting us for awhile.

"Someday soon we'll travel for fun, Bella. There's so much I want to show you! We can go to our island off the coast of Brazil, and of course we need to go to Paris!"

"I've been to Paris," I pointed out, smiling at the memory of my honeymoon with Edward.

"Yes, but you hardly saw Paris. You did very little shopping. There are so many fabulous designers we'll have to visit! And then we could have a fashion week maybe and we'll hit Milan as well! Plus we really should go to Spain and then there…" she broke off and her eyes unfocused.

Edward leaned forward eagerly and took in Alice's vision. He looked pretty happy with what he was seeing which I took to be a good thing. Jasper and I exchanged glances, both a bit annoyed to be left out of the loop but pleased that Edward didn't seem too upset by whatever they saw.

Alice jerked out of the vision and stared at Edward for a moment with wide eyes. "Oh! That's good!"

Jasper rolled his eyes at me as they had their silent communication. "Look, you two, let us in or Bella will force you to and I'll make you feel terrible while you do it."

Edward smiled. "Sorry. Alice saw Aro speaking with Caius. He had Haides take Esme somewhere outside of Volterra. They don't say where. Caius was displeased because he had Haides there alone and he's decided to go guard Esme as well."

"I don't understand; why are you happy?" I asked, completely unsure what was good about us not knowing where Esme was for sure and knowing that she had more than one guard.

"Because that means your powers will not be interfered with. I expected Aro to send Haides away but now we know he will. You and Edward can handle the Volturi while we track down Esme," Jasper informed me.

"But how will you find her?" I asked. I knew they thought holes in Alice's vision would help but that seemed like such a crapshoot to me.

"We don't have to search!" Alice announced with a big smile. "We're going to wait and follow Felix; he'll lead us right to her! At least I assume so. The vision cuts off eventually; probably when we get close to Haides."

"That seems pretty easy, why would Felix do that without noticing you?" I really felt like I was living in an alternate dimension from the rest of them right now.

"You'll make him, Bella," Edward told me softly. Oh! That seemed almost too simple, what with the other more daunting tasks ahead of me. I could definitely do that.

"So why are we splitting up then? Why don't we all get Esme first and then face Aro?" I didn't really like the thought of going in with just Edward. If something went wrong they could hurt Edward to get to me. I would do anything for him; even bend to Aro's will.

"Because Aro is focused on you and we need to keep it that way while we go after Esme. If he decides to send the guard after us, you can make sure they don't follow his orders. You'll be keeping us safe as well as distracting Aro," Jasper informed me. No pressure there. I bit back a groan and Edward tightened his grip on my shoulder.

"You can do this, Bella. The only hard part comes when we have to erase his memory. Aro's history is quite vast and it'll take us awhile to weed through everything," Edward told me.

"That's why you have to wait until we're back before you attempt it. If Bella loses control of the rest of them, we need to be there to protect you," Jasper said. Great. There were so many things that could go wrong and apparently they were all on my shoulders. There was nothing I could do about it, though. Hopefully we'd all get out alive.

"Alice, can you see how it's all going to turn out?" If she could see them following Felix, surely she could see what happened with Aro.

Her eyes unfocused again and Edward leaned forward eagerly. Jasper and I waited impatiently, yet again. Alice shook her head and Edward looked slightly perturbed. That wasn't a good sign. "Well?" I demanded, hating being out of the loop any longer than I had to.

"I can only see up to a certain point, just you guys talking to Aro. That seems to go fine. Edward gives you a signal or two, I'm guessing to use your power in some way but I don't know what exactly for since I'm not the mind reader. Eventually it goes blank."

Blank? I didn't like the sound of blank. "Why would that happen?"

Jasper looked happy, which I thought odd under the circumstances. "Because we'll rejoin you, I imagine. Or Haides does, but then Alice would have seen something from wherever we were. She can't see Esme right now because Haides has her. So, Alice not seeing probably means we're successful in bringing Esme back."

Those words were the final trigger to get Carlisle back to the land of the living; or the undead…whatever we were classified as. His head snapped away from the window and he seemed to notice us for the first time. "Esme? She's going to be alright?" he asked eagerly, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"Well," Jasper said hesitantly, clearly not wanting to give Carlisle too much hope but loathe to dispel the emotion either. "Like I said, it could mean that Haides gets away from us and returns to Volterra. There's also the fact that Alice can't really see Bella's power at work. I'm leaning toward Esme being alright, of course, but…"

"She will be," Carlisle announced firmly, turning his head back to the window. We all exchanged helpless glances but nobody bothered to argue with him. We all wanted that as well. I had to believe she was going to be okay or I wouldn't be able to go through with it all. I was doing this for my family, the family I had chosen that had fully embraced me. Esme loved me from the day she met me, before when it came down to it. Edward told me that the instant she found out he loved me she welcomed me with open arms. I would be there to do the same for her, to bring her back where she belonged. No matter what, Esme must come back to us. Carlisle needed her. He was broken already without her. I'd been there myself when Edward left me and at least then I'd known he was alive. When I thought he might die…no, I couldn't go there. That was not going to happen. I would make sure of it.

"This is your captain speaking," came a booming voice over the intercom. Why Emmett felt the need to use it when we could all hear him perfectly well was beyond me, but then again, this was Emmett we were talking about.

"I'm the captain, you idiot," Rose hissed and then we heard the telltale sound of her smacking Emmett again.

"Ow! Fine! This is your co-captain speaking, then. Please fasten your seatbelts; we will begin making our decent into Pisa in approximately three minutes. Please put all tray tables into their upright position and refrain from anymore inappropriate displays of affection. That means you get off Jasper's lap, Alice!" She snorted and shook her head. "Don't make me come back there," he warned, as if he'd seen her negative response. She sighed and sat in her own chair but none of us obeyed the seatbelt rule. It wasn't like we would die if we had a bad landing.

Rose set us down gently, as if she flew planes every single day of her life. I wondered how often she actually did fly and if I could ever learn. Carlisle was out of his seat before the plane even stopped moving. Alice stood and caught his arm before he could rip the door off in his impatience to get to Esme. "Carlisle, we'll be with her very soon, I promise." He stilled but didn't really look at Alice, his thoughts were clearly with Esme.

We got out quickly and Alice pointed the direction we needed to go. We all took off running without a word. It felt like I hadn't run in eons but I was unable to enjoy it this time. My mind was filled with possibilities of what we could face in Volterra. I knew the most important person to seize control of was Jane. Her ability still wouldn't work on me, unless I opened my mind, but she could go after Edward. I would not allow her to hurt him ever again. I still remembered him collapsing on the floor in complete agony. I wished I could use her own power against her but I didn't know if that was possible. Too bad.

Aro couldn't touch Edward or he would know everything. I'd just have to make sure that he didn't want to touch him. Hopefully he wouldn't notice that it wasn't his idea. There were so many things that could go wrong, though, trying to plan around them seemed impossible. I hated the thought of playing it by ear but that seemed the way it had to go. Edward and I must distract Aro long enough for the others to get to Esme.

Within less than half an hour we were outside the familiar walls of Volterra. I was surprised at how well I remembered it, but then I nearly lost my life here. I guess it was bound to stick with me. All my near death experiences were pretty clear, despite my having been human at the time. It was evening, thankfully, so we were able to move into the city rather unobtrusively. As we neared the entrance to Aro's chambers, Alice reminded us all not to speak. She led the way down an alley that appeared to dead end but I knew that below that brick wall were the tunnels into Aro's lair. We lined up on either side of the hole and looked at her expectantly.

"How long?" Emmett asked impatiently.

Alice screwed up her face. She held up seven fingers then put her finger to her lips to remind him not to speak. Seven minutes, we could handle that. Edward wrapped both his arms around my waist and pulled me flush against him. I leaned into his shoulder and inhaled his sunshine and honey scent. Nothing could soothe me like he could. He would always be all that I needed. He was my air and I breathed him in reverently. I hated being back here where we'd almost lost it all. I hated Aro for making me come back. I vowed never to return again.

Edward tensed and I knew he was picking up Felix's thoughts. He gestured us and we moved further into the shadows as Felix neared. I could hear his heavy footsteps now. There was a sound and then his hands appeared as he pulled himself out of the hole. He turned instantly toward where we were standing, having caught our scents no doubt, but I wasn't about to let him sound the alarm. _Be silent and stand still. _He froze, looking very much like one of the marble statues gracing the fountain within the square. He was wearing one of the daunting gray cloaks the Volturi wore, the rest of him obscured beneath it. His massive shoulders spoke of his strength but right now I had the power and I was going to use it.

_If you know where Esme is, nod your head. _His giant head bobbed slowly up and down. _You are going to go there now. You will ignore the scents and sounds behind you, just go straight to Esme. _He started to walk quickly to the north and Carlisle immediately fell into step behind him, Rose and Emmett flanking him. Jasper and Alice glanced at us for a moment and gave us a smile and a nod. Please let them all return safe and sound, I prayed.

Edward and I watched our family walk quickly into the night before turning to one another. He cupped my chin in his hand and pressed his lips gently to mine. "I love you," he murmured, not breaking the kiss.

I pulled back and took his hand in mine. "I love you, too," I said clearly. "Let's go." Together we dropped into the hole, ready to face our enemy, hopefully for the last time.


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N As promised, here's chapter 44! I didn't make you guys wait too long for the action, at least! Next chapter will post Wednesday and the epilogue on Saturday.**

**Do you guys see that review count? You all pushed me above 1000 reviews this weekend and just took my breath away. I never dared to dream that I'd have that many when I started this story so thank you, truly, for all your kind words and support along the way. I'll rave over you again when I write the epi but I just had to celebrate that milestone with you. Thank you so much!**

**I've had a couple people ask lately so I'll answer it here. I am on twitter as Nolebucgrl and I'm an addict so you can find me there pretty much anytime I'm awake. I'd love to chat with you guys if you're on there! I'll stop yapping now, see you Wednesday!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 44

**APOV**

I didn't like it, any of it. I despised not being able to see as we followed Felix out of Volterra. We were walking into the unknown and that didn't sit well with me at all. Even worse, we were leaving Edward and Bella alone to confront Aro and the majority of his guard. I could see them up to a point and I knew they'd be alright. I believed in the two of them but that didn't mean that I was comfortable with not seeing the end. My visions had both helped and hurt my family over the years but I didn't want to live without them.

Jasper squeezed my hand as if he knew what I was feeling, which, of course he did, but his presence didn't provide the comfort it normally brought. His constant harping on my need to live in the moment just irritated me and I was doing my best not to turn and snipe at him for no reason. Emotions were boiling over for all of us and he was enduring it all on his own. My Jazz was brimming with anticipation and I knew his inner warrior was rejoicing that it might finally be freed. No matter what he'd told Carlisle, he was ready and willing to fight.

Carlisle…he was a broken man at this point. I didn't need Edward's gift to know that his thoughts were only for Esme. He followed behind Felix only because we didn't know where we were going but I knew the instant he got close, the second he smelled her, he'd be off like a shot. Emmett and Rose were on either side of him and I hoped that they would keep him from running headlong into God knows what.

Felix angled west, studiously following Bella's silent orders to take us to our mother. Her talent was an asset that we could not do without. I knew as well as Jasper did that if Haides could block all of us, he had to die. I didn't relish the thought of killing someone who was more or less innocent, just another blind follower doing Aro's bidding, but we could not risk Bella's power being compromised. And I'd be lying if I said that I didn't want my own to work again as well. I didn't have to have it now to know that someone was going to die shortly; we just had to make sure that it was Haides and not one of us.

I glanced at my Jasper's handsome face, so beautiful to me because of his scars, not despite them. He was a fighter, my warrior, my entire life. He'd given up who he was for me and now here he was doing everything he could to bring our family back together. I wasn't a fool, I knew without him we'd be a complete mess. He'd done his best to plan for every contingency and though I was blind, I still believed that what we were doing was going to work. It had to; there was really no other option. We were whole now and we needed to remain that way.

I took a second to focus on my surroundings. I hadn't really noticed where we were going, I'd let my thoughts and fears guide me instead. We were running along a dirt path that wound through a quiet forest. It was deafening in its silence, there were no birds chirping or animals rustling. I suppose that the sheer amount of vampires in and around Volterra drove some of the wildlife away. Not that the vampires here were interested in the animal population, but still, it was interesting. Good thing we'd all hunted fairly recently.

I wondered what they planned to do about Esme's diet. Had they brought her an animal? Would they try to get her to succumb to feeding on a human? She hadn't been gone long enough for that to be an issue but I couldn't help but wonder. It was better to focus on something mundane than it was to worry about what they might be doing to her. A huge part of me feared that we would be too late and we'd find the remains of a fire, the fire that destroyed the only mother I'd ever known. I couldn't wrap my head around such an idea and I felt a lump form in my throat.

"Alice," Jasper whispered softly, his visual focus on our surroundings, his emotional focus on me, as always. "Whatever you're thinking about, don't. Everything is going to be okay." His voice was confident even as his eyes darted around the forest, searching for any potential threat. It must be nice to feel sure about everything. It seemed like ages since I'd felt that way.

"How can you be sure?" I asked, trying to keep the petulance out of my tone but failing miserably by the smirk I saw on Jasper's face. I loved him but he could be pretty annoying at times. This was one of them.

"Because we're together, Alice. As long as this family is united, we will always win. They fight for power, for control, even for fun. We fight for love, for each other. Which of those reasons is stronger?"

I blinked in surprise; it wasn't often that Jasper spoke of love. He showed it to me every single day, with every touch and every glance. I knew he loved me and our family and would fight for us. Still, to hear him say it like that warmed me. Though, I would contend that we weren't all together right now.

I didn't vocalize it but Jasper responded as if I'd spoken. "We are together, or we soon will be. Watch Carlisle the instant he gets near her. She'll bring him to life, just like you did me when we met." I longed to be anywhere but here so that I could tackle him to the ground and show him just what his words meant to me. He chuckled as he no doubt picked up on my response. "Soon," he promised, giving me a sexy smile and a wink.

We continued into the darkness and I fought to keep my impatience from rising. How far away had they taken her? I wanted to be able to get back to Bella and Edward as quickly as possible. Of course, we'd probably only been running for about ten minutes, it only felt like hours because I wanted this to be over so badly.

Jasper let out a quiet oath. "We're close, no more talking." I knew that his power must have cut off. It felt strange, knowing that he couldn't feel my emotions anymore. He squeezed my hand again, though, showing that even if his gift wasn't working, he still knew me.

Just ahead of us, I saw Carlisle's slumped shoulders suddenly straighten. His eyes, which had been completely vacant, focused in and brightened. He looked alive again. He felt her. I knew he did. I couldn't smell her yet but I knew they were fairly close, since Jasper's gift was gone. Haides had to be near and so did Esme. And I doubted Carlisle would feel her if she wasn't still in one piece, thank God.

Emmett glanced back at us and Jasper gave him a nod. He looped his arm through Carlisle's and Rose followed suit on the other side. I had no doubt it would take both of them to hold him once he knew exactly where Esme was. Not that he was likely to be quiet once we got within range either. I hated not being able to see what was going to happen. Would Carlisle charge in and cause something terrible happen to Esme or himself? Would he expose us all too early? What if it was more than just Caius and Haides there? Only four of us were ready to fight, I knew that Carlisle would be pretty much useless until he reunited with his wife. What if we were outnumbered?

Jasper squeezed my hand in silent support yet again as we climbed a gentle slope. I could smell something now, a minty smell along with a hint of jasmine. I closed my eyes because that hint of jasmine was pure Esme. I could almost feel her arms wrapped around me as the scent washed over me. I also smelled a woodsier scent. There were three distinct vampire scents that didn't belong to us or Felix, one being Esme's. So it seemed we were correct, there were only two vampires guarding her.

Carlisle let out a little gasp and strained against Emmett and Rose's restraining arms. Rose leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You must be patient. We'll be with her in a minute. Don't rush in and ruin everything." He started to struggle, shaking his head but still not saying anything thankfully. "You don't want her to get hurt, do you?" He immediately stilled and glared at her as if she were foolish for asking such a question. "Then go with us, quietly. Please, Carlisle."

Felix continued blithely ahead, still unaware of our presence just a few yards behind him. He reached the top of the hill and cut to the right. There was a small cabin up ahead, light illuminating the windows. It was tucked into the landscape perfectly; no doubt it was nearly impossible to see except when you were nearly on top of it. A barrier of trees stretched atop the cabin, shading even the small amount of light from view from the air. It would have been nearly impossible to find without Bella's manipulation of Felix.

Jasper pulled me behind the cover of a large tree to the left of the cabin. Emmett, Rose and Carlisle also hid, although Carlisle was clearly not happy about it. The cabin door was thrown open abruptly, letting some dim light filter into the forest. "What are you doing here?" a gruff voice intoned. I knew that voice. It was Caius; I remembered that hostility as he'd told Aro to have Bella destroyed for knowing too much about our kind.

Felix paused a couple of feet away from Caius. I couldn't see his face from our hiding spot. "I don't know," he answered, confusion clear in his tone.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Caius demanded imperiously. "Did Aro send you? Have the Cullen's arrived yet?"

"Not that I know of," the large vampire responded.

"Then why are you here?" Caius asked again, his irritation clear in his tone. Jasper's muscles were taut under my hand; he was ready to act should the wrong thing be said.

Felix shrugged. "I don't know; I just came here. Maybe I subconsciously thought that I could be of some help with the woman," his voice was positively lecherous then and I heard a light growl rumbling in Jasper's chest. I put a calming hand on him and prayed fervently that Rose would be able to reign in both Emmett and Carlisle. Then again, this was Rose we were talking about. She was probably more likely to wade in and attack without stopping to think about her actions first than they were.

Caius stepped out of the doorway and closed the door. I still hadn't seen Esme but I knew she was in there along with the mysterious Haides. What was he like? Was he huge like Felix? Was he ancient and experienced like Caius? "Aro says we're not to lay a hand on her," he reminded him, his voice sounding completely disinterested.

"And what do you say?" Felix asked, sounding almost gleeful. I felt sick to my stomach…having him lead us might have been a huge miscalculation. He had a disgusting, perverted mind.

"I don't really care what you do with her. We have to keep her alive until Aro has Bella in the fold. No doubt we'll have to bring her mind reader husband in with us as well. Aro still wants Alice, though he considers everyone superfluous to his precious Isabella," he spat the words with disgust. It was clear to me that Caius was still not on board with bringing Bella into the Volturi. "As far as I'm concerned, the rest of them can die, old friendships be damned." Jasper's hands tightened on the tree trunk, I knew he was close to snapping it in half. I really wished I could see Carlisle in this moment. I knew, even without my visions; that we didn't have long before he erupted.

"Well then, I think I'll go pay the lovely Esme a visit." Felix squared his shoulders and prepared to enter the home. I knew it was time to act but before I could even start to move, I made out a quick flash of movement followed by a thunderous crash. Felix and Carlisle rolled over the forest floor, they were moving so quickly they were nothing but a blur.

"So much for a sneak attack," Jasper muttered. He turned to me, a lethal light in his eyes. "Get in the cabin with Rose, free Esme and the two of you try to deal with Haides on your own. If he's too much for you, get them all out of there as quickly as you can." He didn't let me respond, just gave me one look that was filled with all of his love and passion before running out to help Carlisle, who was more than overmatched by the much larger, younger vampire.

Emmett got there first and yanked Carlisle out of the way just as Felix aimed a devastating blow at his head. Emmett took the hit in his thigh and grunted but didn't go down. He kicked Felix hard in the shoulder as he attempted to roll into a standing position. The forest rocked with noise, almost like a thunderstorm in the middle of the woods. Trees were shaking and no doubt soon to topple as hard bodies flew around the clearing.

I saw Jasper reach Caius just as he was about to flee the area, he'd run about twenty yards before Jasper caught up and slammed him into a tree. Part of me wanted to stay, to keep my eyes on my love but I knew that I had a job to do as well. I darted past Emmett and Felix, currently locked in some kind of wrestling strength hold, both of them straining against one another's tree trunk sized arms. Rose was a hair ahead of me and we entered the room together.

Esme was sitting on a threadbare green sofa, her eyes a little wild, darting to and fro, but her face was placid all things considered. She gave us a tentative smile but her eyes flew past us looking for Carlisle. A lean, raven haired vampire stood near her, eyeing us warily. His eyes were a deep crimson red and his skin looked even paler than mine did. He was skinny, much thinner than Jasper and Edward. He was the most nondescript looking vampire I'd ever seen. Nothing stood out about him, he just blended. I guess that was fitting with his power though. He was about 5'10", not much taller than Rose when it all came down to it. How could such an innocuous vampire render all of us powerless?

He growled at us and I nearly laughed at Rose's expression. She raised her eyebrows as if to say "oh really" but before she could utter a word Carlisle ran into the room and knocked her into me in his hurry to get to Esme. He shoved Haides away from Esme and folded her into his arms. They clutched onto one another as if they were one another's life raft, which I suppose in a way they were. Haides moved to grab Carlisle but Rose and I were on him before he could strike, simultaneously slamming him into the stone wall of the cabin. Rock shards fell but the wall managed to hold despite the force we'd exerted.

He thrashed against us but was not strong enough to break our hold. I almost felt bad that he was so outnumbered because I had a feeling any of us could take him one on one. It didn't seem like he had ever fought before. I exchanged a glance with Rose and she shrugged back at me.

"Why are you working with Aro?" I asked quietly, beyond curious as to what would make this vampire that had apparently eluded him for decades side with Aro now.

"He promised me power and a mate of my own," he hissed, his voice heavy with his Greek accent. It figured; another typical power hungry vampire in the Volturi.

"So you abducted an innocent woman?" Rose asked, her face and voice filled with rage and disbelief.

"She's nothing to me and I have been alone a very long time," he responded, eliciting a loud growl from Carlisle, though he wasn't about to release his hold on Esme to take care of the threat. I felt a little pang at his loneliness but it didn't justify his actions.

"Well, she's something to us," Rose informed him in a dangerous tone, and without further ado she snapped off the left arm she had been holding, a loud metallic ripping sound accompanying her action. Haides let out an unearthly scream and nearly jerked out of my hold. I tightened my grip on him as Rosalie bent and snapped his left leg off as well. His shriek pierced the air. "Carlisle, light a fire," Rose ordered. She yanked off his other leg with an earsplitting crack and his torso slid to the floor, my grip on his right arm the only thing holding him up.

Rose put her foot on his chest, pinning him to the wall, and looked at me. "Well?" I tightened my grip on his arm and wrenched with all my strength. It came off as the rest of his limbs had, with a loud pop and a scream of pain. "Finish it," Rose told me, going over to help Carlisle with the fire.

I looked into the glaring red eyes of the vampire in front of me and though I felt a twinge of sadness at ending his life, I knew it had to be done. He rendered me, us, useless. He'd be a threat as long as he was alive. I placed my hands on each side of his head, trying to ignore his twitching limbs at my feet. He managed one last growl as I twisted his head, removing it from his body with one final rip. This time he was blessedly silent.

"Forget about the fireplace, we need a bigger fire anyway. We're torching the room," Rose said, breaking apart wooden chairs while Carlisle and Esme ripped the sofa cushions open. She pulled a lighter from her pants pocket and lit one end of the couch. "Get Esme out of here," she told Carlisle. They both ran out the door as Rose and I gathered up the pieces of Haides and threw them on the slow burning sofa. His black slacks and red shirt caught on fire quickly, engulfing the couch and his remains in flames. The instant his whole body began to burn I got a vision of Emmett and Felix grappling. It was an even match. My Jasper and Caius were taunting one another, landing blow after blow but neither getting the deciding hit yet.

"They need us," I told Rose, allowing myself one second to rejoice in the return of my gift as we raced to join our husbands in their own battles. I would never resent my visions again; good or bad, at least I had them.

I came upon Jasper and Caius right where Jasper had tackled him to keep him from escaping. Carlisle and Esme were standing nearby and the action seemed to have stopped for a moment as Carlisle laid into Caius.

"Why won't you leave my family alone?" he demanded, looking very much like he just might take Caius apart himself. If he didn't have to release Esme's hand to do it, I thought he just might.

"I have no interest in your family," Caius intoned in a bored voice. "It's my brother who has an unnatural obsession with you Cullens. I would rather just rid the world of you all and forget you ever existed." I nearly laughed at his choice of words. If Bella was successful, the last part of his wish would come true.

"We've done nothing to you, why would you want us gone?" Carlisle's voice shook in his anger.

"You're aberrations." Caius made a sound of disgust. "The way you live, rejecting who and what we are, it's a disgrace. I have no respect for _people_ like you." The way he said the word "people" made it sound like we were lower than dirt. "I'll enjoy having you all destroyed after Aro brings Bella into the fold."

Jasper laughed derisively. "Even if he were successful, which is highly unlikely, Bella would not agree to join you if we were killed."

"Perhaps. Chelsea's never tried to work her wiles on Bella before. If she bonded her and Edward to us, Bella might not care." He truly couldn't conceive of the fact that we were a family that loved one another. I don't know why this surprised me though, the Volturi were loyal to one another but love certainly didn't keep them together. Power, hunger, pride…those were emotions they could recognize. They would never understand the bonds we shared.

I glanced back and saw that Rose and Emmett seemed to have Felix reeling. Rosalie struck at his lower body time and again while Emmett pummeled the upper torso. Crack after crack resounded through the trees. It's a good thing nobody lived around here because it was extremely loud.

"You clearly don't understand what it is to be a part of a family," Carlisle told him. "We won't ever turn our backs on one another. That's why Aro came after one of us, he knew we'd come."

Caius sneered derisively. "You're weak, that's why Aro knew you'd come. You'd have been better off staying home, where we'd be unlikely to send the whole guard after you. But you're sentimental and predictable and you came running, just like we planned. You're pathetic. My family is far more powerful than yours."

"Family is not built on power and intimidation, Caius. It's built on love." Carlisle's eyes moved to Esme and his whole face lit up.

"You can remind yourself of that as your limbs are being thrown into the fire," Caius said with a laugh.

"The only limbs that have been thrown on the fire are those of Aro's newest toy. You'll be joining him momentarily," Jasper said, his voice barely above a whisper but full of threat.

"Jasper," Carlisle's voice was tentative.

Jasper's coal black eyes cut to him. "No, Carlisle. We are not going to spare him and make even more work for Bella. You can hear his poisonous words but I can feel it. He's rotten to the core and I will not let him live." A shiver ran through me at the barely controlled rage in his voice. He was intimidating, frightening and incredibly sexy all at the same time. I had seen this side of him when he battled the newborns and when we destroyed James. Both times, as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I had gotten him alone and attacked him passionately. I loved all sides of my Jasper, even the violent and scary ones.

Carlisle glanced between Jasper and Caius as the two vampires took each other's measure. I knew Jasper didn't need our help. Caius was ancient but he was also out of practice when it came to fighting. He was used to sitting back on his throne and ordering people destroyed, not doing the killing himself. He opened his mouth to speak but Esme held up her hand.

"Carlisle, Jasper is right." She shivered and Carlisle wrapped both his arms around her waist. "I was around him for just a couple of hours and he was truly horrible to me. The things he said about me, about our family," she broke off and shook her head. "It was vile."

"Did he touch you?" Jasper asked, his voice even more threatening than before.

"No!" she exclaimed. I breathed a sigh of relief at her words, closing my eyes in thanks that she hadn't been physically harmed. "But he enjoyed tormenting me with the threat of doing so," she continued. I felt rage boiling up in me, both mine and Jasper's.

"You see?" Jasper asked Carlisle.

Carlisle looked at his wife and nodded reluctantly. "Yes." He turned his back and walked away, his arm looped tightly around Esme's waist.

"Pathetic," Caius hissed. "Ever the peacemaker. Is he going to let his son and daughter fight his battles for him?" Carlisle's back muscles bunched and I thought for a second that he was going to attack Caius himself. Esme touched his cheek and his entire countenance relaxed again as they continued to walk away.

"We'll be at the bottom of the hill," Carlisle murmured. I knew they wanted to be alone for a few minutes and just bask in their reunion. They needed to touch one another and I could see that their time alone would be very therapeutic for both of them.

"So I guess it's just two on one, is it? That's okay, I can handle being outnumbered." I giggled at Caius' smugness. I could see that I was unnecessary in this fight and had no intention of ruining Jasper's fun.

"Why are you so confident?" I asked, curious as to Caius' attitude.

"It's only a matter of time before the guard gets here. I'm sure Aro dispatched them as soon as he knew you were in town." A wicked grin flashed across Jasper's face.

"Are you sure? Should we sit back and wait for them?" I knew Jasper was amused but I shook my head slightly. I wanted to get back to Edward and Bella. Thus far, I could see that they were fine but I couldn't see much of what was going on because so much of it was mental. Bella's orders, Edward's mind reading, Aro's thoughts, none of them were clear to me. I could see that none of the guard had left though. "No, I don't want to wait," Jasper decided and lunged at Caius.

Their hands and feet whirled in a deadly dance. I backed about twenty feet out of the way because I could see that they would need their room. Plus, this way I could focus on Rosalie and Emmett as well. I knew Emmett was none too pleased about having assistance but Felix was slightly larger than him and it was clear that he still fought on occasion.

Rosalie spun an impressive scissor kick that landed in Felix's stomach, knocking him into a tree and causing it to break in half and fall backwards with an impressive crash. He leapt at her but Emmett caught his right arm as he flew through the air and yanked him to the ground. Emmett put his right leg on top of Felix to hold him down and pulled off the arm he gripped. Felix screamed in pain but rolled away and got to his feet. Emmett chucked his arm in my direction. "Throw that on the fire, will you?" Felix shrieked in outrage and tried to run toward me but Rose kicked the back of his knees and he fell to the ground.

"That's what you get for having sexual fantasies about me and my sister," she hissed, kicking him continuously as Emmett looked on proudly. I knew if we had time those two would be going at each other again; Rose and Emmett liked wrestling out all that energy just as much as Jasper and I did.

I ran back into the cabin and threw Felix's arm into the fire, which had spread rapidly. The furniture was covered in flames and the heat would have been too much for a human. It felt good on my skin, as long as I didn't let the flames touch me. I hurried back to my perfect vantage spot.

Jasper and Caius were toying with each other, landing blows and then stepping back to study one another, plotting their next moves. I knew that we didn't have that long to go and I had to fight back the urge to tell them all to hurry. Bella and Edward were fine for now but anything could change in the blink of an eye. I felt an urgency to get to them and it was rising in me by the second.

Caius lunged at Jasper, who moved out of the way gracefully. He was gorgeous to watch, moving like a viper, striking and retreating strategically. I hadn't been able to truly appreciate the sight of him when we fought the newborns, as I'd been busy doing my own fighting. Here and now, though, I could watch his deadly beauty and admire the sight of him locked in battle, purely in control. A warrior inside and out; fighting for me, our family, and our freedom. I'd never wanted him more. And now I sounded like Emmett and Rosalie, who were looking at one another as hungrily as I was Jasper. We were one twisted group; that much was for sure. I chuckled quietly as I remembered a similar look on Bella's face when Edward took apart Victoria; she definitely belonged with our family.

Felix wasn't letting his lack of one arm inhibit him; he was swinging his left and kicking at the same time, striking out at Emmett with deadly force. Emmett dodged most of the blows, though, and those that did land didn't slow him down in the least. Rosalie ducked under Felix's swinging arm and reached up and grabbed it as it went over her head. One solid yank and off it came, with another thunderous ripping noise and scream of pain. Rose grinned at me and tossed the arm my way. I felt a little left out, being nothing but the disposal girl, but they had it under control and I had been the one to finish off Haides, after all.

I held the arm this time, figuring I'd wait until I had other pieces. It was rather macabre; to be holding a wriggling dismembered arm, but it wasn't like it was bloody or anything, venom was clear. Emmett hit Felix with a well placed punch to his upper pectoral area and he tumbled to the ground. Rose and Emmett got to work then, each grabbing a leg and popping them off at the same time, like some kind of gruesome coordinated ballet. Felix let out a roar that shook the nearby trees but that's all he could do. Emmett bowed at Rose and she laughed at his attempt at chivalry as she took position near Felix's head. She gripped it tightly and grimaced as she decapitated him.

Rosalie and Emmett hurriedly gathered up Felix and tossed them in the cabin. I followed behind quickly with the arm I still held. It joined the fire and we all went to watch Jasper finish off Caius. I knew he could have done it awhile ago but he wanted to draw out the battle. Hopefully it would be his last, our last. I think we'd all endured enough fear and fighting to last several lifetimes.

Jasper waggled his eyebrows at me and shot a grin our way. "All finished?" he asked, having not paid any attention to the happenings around him.

"Yeah, my girl took down Felix. I barely had to do a thing," Emmett announced proudly, wrapping an arm around Rose. "Are you doing to stop dilly dallying and finish him or do you need some help?"

Jasper grunted as he took a glancing blow to his jaw from Caius. "I just wanted to wait so you could see how it's really done," he informed Emmett, who let out a raucous laugh.

"Well, here I am, brother. School me."

Jasper flashed a smile again and then unleashed a flurry of kicks and hits on Caius that almost were too fast for even our eyes. The thunderous cracking sound each time he struck Caius rang through my ears. The elder vampire stumbled back as each blow landed. He was unable even to move to strike back as the hits came one after the other.

"He looks like Bruce Lee," Emmett said gleefully. The comparison wasn't that far off the mark, actually. Jasper's kicks and hits were almost like Hollywood choreography. Caius' brittle body, ancient and so rarely even touched, could not hold up under the pressure and he collapsed to his knees. Jasper seized his advantage and drove him to the ground with one boot to the chest.

"Everyone take a limb," he told us. "We don't have any more time to waste." We all hurried into position, Jasper at the right arm, Emmett the right leg, Rose the left leg and me at the left arm.

"Wait," Caius gasped, his voice sounding pained. "I'll give you anything you want if you spare me."

"You don't have the power to give us what we want," Jasper told him.

"I can grant you anything. I have the world at my disposal. Ask and it's yours."

"We want to be left alone and as long as you and your brother are alive and in power, that will not happen," Jasper told him. "You would continue to come after us, time and again. It's not a chance I'm willing to take." With that, he pulled and Caius screamed as his right arm popped off. Emmett, Rose and I all yanked simultaneously and ripped the rest of his limbs from his body. Jasper grasped his neck and gave it a twist, removing his head effortlessly. We carried Caius to the fire and added him to the remains of Felix and Haides.

"Alice, how are they?" Jasper asked as we exited the burning cabin.

"Fine, so far. I really want to get back to them though," I told him anxiously. I was incredibly glad he hadn't toyed with Caius any longer than he had.

The four of us ran down the hill, where we found Carlisle and Esme holding one another, oblivious to the macabre scene that had taken place just above them. The sight brought a smile to my face. It was good to see something lovely after being part of all that death and destruction moments ago. It was worth it, though. This is what we were doing it for.

"Is everything okay?" Carlisle asked, though he really didn't need to since the four of us were standing safely next to him.

"Yes, we need to get back to Volterra now," Jasper responded, his face tight and his eyes a little anxious, but all I felt from him was confidence.

"Let's go," Carlisle said, taking Esme's hand and breaking into a run, back the way we came. Even though I knew they couldn't hear me yet, I sent a silent thought to Edward and Bella. _We'll be there soon. Just hold on a little longer. Everything's going to be fine, I can see it._


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N Here it is, the final chapter! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. The epilogue will be up Saturday morning and I'll have a lot to say then so I'll save it at the moment. Thanks for reading!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 45

**BPOV**

We dropped down into the underground tunnel leading to the Volturi compound. I remembered the last time I was here all too vividly despite my change. That memory would never be hazy, holding on to Edward with all my might as I closed my eyes against the oppressive darkness, marching to face our possible end at the hands of the Volturi. Here we were again, but things were much different. I could see, now, not that the dank gray stone walls provided a lovely view but the dark didn't frighten and inhibit me this time. And, though we could very well be facing the end of our existence if I failed, I didn't feel nervous. Edward was at my side, holding my hand, and whatever we would encounter, we would face together. I didn't doubt his feelings for me now and it made all the difference.

This time, our progress through the tunnel wasn't slowed due to my human stumbling and there was no hulking Felix behind me getting irritated at my inability to move at a faster speed. We reached the end quickly and ducked into the small door to the right of the rusty grate. Fortunately it was not locked, not that that would have been a problem for us, but why announce our presence before we were ready?

We entered the bright stone room and found the thick wooden door, waiting open now as it had the last time we were here. Edward stepped through first, protective as me as always. The bright white hallway was just as I remembered it, warm and almost welcoming, not that I wanted to feel at home here. We moved quickly down the long hallway, arriving at the elevator. Edward hit the button and the doors opened immediately. This ride, with just the two of us, was far more comfortable than the frightening one we had with Jane, Felix and Demetri the last time we were here.

"Are you ready?" Edward asked, pressing the button for the next floor up.

"As I'll ever be," I told him.

"When you need me to open my mind for you, squeeze my hand. I'll squeeze yours when I pick up a thought that requires you to act. I'll nod toward the one you need to deal with. If it's Jane, that means she's going to use her power on me, or attempt to use it on you. If it's Alec, the same thing stands. If it's Aro, well I'll just have to tell you. I guarantee he's going to try to touch me relatively quickly, so you might want to take that idea out of his head as we walk into the room."

"Okay." There was so much we didn't know and wouldn't be able to deal with until they happened. Edward and I couldn't open up our powers to one another too early, we might be leaving ourselves defenseless if I was unable to bond with him and continue to hold the rest of the Volturi at bay. That had to wait for our family to join us, if possible.

The elevator doors opened into the same reception type area that I remembered. The wood paneled walls, the thick green carpet and the bright paintings were exactly as they had been nearly a year ago. It still smelled like a funeral home to me, the cloying floral scent even more powerful with my keener sense of smell. There, at the big mahogany desk in the center of the room, sat Gianna, still human and obviously still hoping to one day join the Volturi. Her green eyes opened in surprise as she caught sight of us exiting the elevator.

"Gianna," Edward said politely. "I believe Aro is expecting us. Could you let him know that Bella and I are here?"

"Of course," she answered, sounding unruffled despite her initial reaction to seeing us. She picked up the phone and hit a number, telling whoever answered that we were there.

"All of them?" the voice on the other end of the phone asked.

"Just Bella and Edward," she replied.

There was a long pause and then, "Send them in."

Gianna hung up the phone. "Do you remember how to get there? The same room you were in last time?"

Edward smiled. "I think I can manage to find it." There was a hint of smugness in his tone that nearly made me smile. We walked down the ornate hallway and entered another plain wooden door that sent us back into the dark stone tunnels. This walk was far shorter and we entered the room where we'd nearly found our death last year. The massive throne chairs still stood in a circle in the center of the bright room. Unlike last time, it was dark outside so the lamps were on, letting off a muted glow.

"Looks like the gang's all here," Edward murmured quietly. Sure enough, everyone was in the room, with the exception of Caius and Felix of course. Aro was seated in the center chair, facing us. His long black hair blended with his black cloak and a huge smile stretched across his face as he saw us arrive.

"Edward! Isabella! How lovely it is to see you again. Please, come closer. We're all friends here." Edward smirked and squeezed my hand. Oh yes! I looked into that grinning ancient face and plastered a smile on my own. _You don't want to touch Edward, you'll find out what you need to know just by speaking with us. _His face remained smooth as we walked to within five feet of him and stopped.

I remembered Jasper's instructions. _Find all their power centers as soon as you get in the room so you can be ready to activate them the instant you need them. _Jane's was the lower right quadrant; Alec's was the lower left, almost as if they were mirrors of one another. Renata's was right in the center, not that I thought I would need to use her in anyway. Marcus, who was sitting to Aro's left, was in the front right quadrant and Chelsea's was in the back center. Demetri's was directly above his right ear and Aro's power center was in the front, right behind his forehead. I could feel it pulsing at me.

"I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised at your haste in arriving! But tell me, where is the rest of your family?"

I wasn't sure how to respond to that, surely he wouldn't believe me if I told him that they'd stayed behind. Before I could figure out what to say, Edward responded for me. "They're looking for Esme."

Aro chuckled in delight. "How ever do they think they will find her? Surely you've figured out that I have a new acquisition, one that makes all powers moot. Dear Alice won't be able to find her using her incredible gift, I'm afraid. Your poor family will be wandering the Italian countryside for hours." He seemed to bask in this news. I glared at him and wanted to let him know that they were probably already with her but that would hardly suit our purposes. Now was about distracting him.

"I guess when they find a blind spot, they'll know," Edward replied acidly. I ran my thumb along his hand in a soothing gesture. His muscles were tensed and I knew he wanted to attack Aro for taking Esme from us.

Aro tilted his head and laughed. "How very clever. Then maybe they will have success, eventually. Still, it will take hours. Yet here you are, all alone. Brave or stupid?" He eyed us for a moment. "Maybe both."

"You wanted me here, so here I am. Edward, naturally, wasn't going to let me come alone," I told him.

"No, he most certainly wouldn't, would he? Not the protective, sacrificial Edward. And it is, of course, because of my benevolence that he is even able to be here by your side, right now. Wouldn't you say so?" Aro's blood red eyes sparkled.

Edward's hand tightened on mine but I was pretty sure it was in anger, not because I needed to exert control. "I will forever be grateful that you refused to end his life," I responded, keeping my voice level. It was nothing but the pure truth, after all.

Aro smiled and folded his hands in his lap. Renata shifted nervously from behind him, ready to shield him if need be. "You say you are grateful and yet you didn't see fit to inform me when your power manifested. Surely you knew that it was a matter of great interest to me." There was a slight edge to his tone now, belying the smile on his face.

"We attempted to contact you several times recently. You avoided all our calls," Edward reminded him.

Aro raised an eyebrow. "Yes, but you waited until after I had already been informed of Isabella's precious gift, did you? Alice must have seen Demetri's little run-in with your cousin. Delightful girl, that Tanya. I really must send her a thank you gift." Edward growled low in his throat at the mention of Tanya's part in this situation. "I hear she's a very lovely girl, even despite the disfigurement you inflicted upon her, Isabella," Aro went on, blithely ignoring Edward's reaction.

"I didn't disfigure her, I just…"

Aro leaned forward, regarding me with undisguised interest. "You just what?"

I glanced at Edward, wondering how much I should reveal. He nodded at me to go ahead. "She made me angry and I'd always hated her perfect strawberry blond hair. I was going to cut it myself but first I told her to cut it. I never really thought she would but she did," I told Aro, watching him anxiously.

"Anger is a very powerful emotion, Isabella. I'm sure you realize that now, if you didn't already." I just nodded. "Demetri, you really should have brought the girl back with you. It would have been…amusing, to see these two reunited, don't you think?"

Demetri moved to stand on Aro's right side. "I'm sorry to have deprived you of the pleasure of her company, master. I was distracted by your other mission."

Aro waved a hand airily. "Yes, yes, nothing to apologize for, dear boy. It was your successful mission that brought us to where we are right now." He turned back to me. "So, Isabella, do you always have to be angry to get your power to manifest?" Edward squeezed my hand. _Lie. _I wasn't open to him right now but I knew exactly what he wanted me to do anyway.

"The only times it has happened have been when I was angry," I told Aro, doing my best to keep my face and voice placid.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "I see. And what other times has it happened?"

I should have figured he'd want to know that. So I told him my other two angry outbursts. "I was annoyed with our brother, Emmett, and I made him swallow a key." Aro let out a startled laugh. "And Rosalie and I were having an argument and she was going to leave so I told her to sit down and shut up. You don't know Rose very well but trust me when I say she would never have done that without my gift."

"Yes, I can imagine. Your sister is quite…impressive." Edward shook his head and I was relieved that I wasn't privy to Aro's thoughts at that moment. We were both lucky Rose wasn't there to respond either. "So, in the month since you attacked Tanya your power has only manifested twice? You must not get angry very often."

"I'm pretty happy with my husband and my family. We don't have very many issues."

"Your family must be far more peaceful than mine. There's always some matter of squabbling here. Some of my children have very quick tempers." He sent an indulgent smile at Jane and I suppressed a shudder, knowing full what her temper could do. "I guess it takes a lot to trigger yours though, Isabella."

Edward squeezed my hand with more pressure this time and tilted his head toward Jane. Aro regarded his favorite daughter with a benevolent smile. "Jane, darling, why don't we see if we can do something to trigger Isabella's temper? It really is most vital that I see her in action, so I know just how much work we have ahead of us."

Jane's face lit up as if she'd been given the best present in the world. She turned toward Edward and gave him a devious smile. I wasn't about to let her harm him again. It seemed the time for stalling was coming to a very abrupt end. I tapped into her power; it was like a swirling darkness inside her head. _Use it on Aro. _I both thought the words and pushed her power out at the dark haired vampire she so worshipped.

Aro's face contorted in pain and he let out a deafening shriek as he tumbled from his chair. Renata and Demetri both grabbed for him as he thrashed on the floor, screaming, sounding like a wounded animal. Marcus watched impassively, as if something like this occurred every day.

"Jane!" Alec yelled, shaking his twin, trying to get her to stop her assault on their beloved leader. There was nothing she could do though, I was firmly in control and I wasn't ready to release him yet. Aro had caused pain to countless other vampires over the years, not to mention my Edward and Esme. He deserved this.

Edward squeezed my hand as Demetri whirled to look at me. "This is you, isn't it? Stop, immediately or I'll kill your husband." Like hell he would. He took a step toward Edward. _Don't move. _He froze in place, hostility rolling off him in waves but he was unable to do anything about it. _Everybody stay where you are. _It was only a matter of time before someone else came at us, better to head it off early.

I finally let Jane's mind go and Aro stopped that ungodly yelling. _Get up and sit back in your chair._ He did as I bade, sitting down and staring at me. I couldn't read the expression on his face. "It would seem that you're slightly more advanced than you led me to believe, Isabella." His voice was smooth but had a slight hint of menace to it as he attempted to straighten his disheveled black hair.

"Well you did make me angry, just like you wanted," I pointed out.

"So I did," he murmured, watching me intently with his crimson eyes. "Somehow I don't think that's all there is to it. You don't have to be angry to use your power anymore." I shrugged, there was no point in lying but I certainly wasn't going to spill my secrets to him either. "You are currently using it against all of us, are you not? I cannot imagine why my people did not seize you when they realized that you were the one causing Jane to attack me."

Jane let out a sob. "Master, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to. It's that hateful girl, she did it!" She glared and tried to use her power on me. Tried and failed, just like she did when I was human.

"Don't fret, child, I know that it wasn't your doing." Aro kept his eyes on me as he spoke to Jane. She hissed in outrage that she didn't really have his attention.

Edward squeezed my hand again. "Jane," he said. Would the girl never learn? Fine, then. I tapped into her power and did something I'd only done with Jasper on a couple occasions during our training. I put up a wall, just as I had done in my own mind unknowingly. I couldn't even begin to describe what I did when Jasper had asked me, just likened it to putting a steel trap around his power. Of course, I lowered the wall right after he tried and failed to use his gift. I had no intention of doing that for Jane.

Edward winced instinctively as he picked up her thoughts, no doubt attempting to direct her power at him. Nothing happened though and he straightened and smiled at me. "Thanks, love."

"You're welcome," I told him with a relieved giggle. I hadn't been sure that would actually work.

Jane started screaming at the top of her lungs. "What did you do to me? Give it back!"

"No," I told her with a cheeky smile, glad that I could finally do something about her sadistic streak. She'd never hurt another vampire or human with her mind again.

"What did you do?" Aro demanded. There was no anger in his voice, only interest and urgency.

"I took her power away," I informed him blithely, as if it was something I did every day.

"How?" he asked anxiously, leaning forward in his seat. _Stay right there, _I reminded him. He didn't move any further.

"I don't know if I can explain it, I just short circuited it or something."

"No! Give it back! I'm going to kill you," she shrieked.

"Jane, calm down," Aro warned her. "You went after her husband, what did you expect her to do? You are a part of something truly fascinating here. You need to take a moment to think about it and appreciate the fact that you're seeing something historic. Never before has there been such a power. There may never be again. And you were not only a witness to it, you got to experience it! Such a delight!" he giggled.

There was something severely twisted about him taking pleasure in my taking away his favorite toy's ability. It just went to show what kind of person Aro was. He didn't care about Jane; he cared about what she could do for him.

Alec tried to reassure his twin but she cut him off before he uttered a word. "She broke me. I hate her. Stop her, Alec!" He looked at me and I prepared to cut him off.

"Enough! Jane, you do not give the orders around here. Alec, you need not bother. It's clear that Isabella will just stop you before you even get started. Let's keep this peaceful." I did laugh out loud then. Now Aro wanted peace?

"Isabella, perhaps we could talk about a solution to our situation. There's no need for any violence here." Sure, there was no need for violence now that he couldn't inflict any.

"What, exactly, do you propose Aro?" Edward asked, amusement clear in his tone.

"Well, dear boy, obviously we will return your mother immediately, if your lovely wife would be so kind as to release one of my men to go retrieve her. While I would still love for you to join us, I suspect that you would reject my invitation yet again?" Edward and I both nodded. "Then, clearly, you have me at a loss. We will part, hopefully still as friends." He beamed at both of us, all humor and good will.

Edward laughed. "So, you're saying that if Bella released one of your men, he would go get Esme and bring her back here, no harm, no foul?"

"Well, of course, Edward."

"You wouldn't have that man bring back your new acquisition to try to render Bella powerless, overtake us and force us to join you?"

"Such a thought never crossed my mind." Aro looked affronted at the very idea.

Edward grinned. "Didn't it? I'll admit, you covered it quickly but I still caught it, Aro."

"Your gift is quite a nuisance. Why can't you just join us? We'll be one big, happy family." Aro smiled at me, trying to appear genial. I didn't buy it.

"We're already part of one of those, thanks."

"But don't you see?" Aro asked, a gleam in his ruby eyes. "Can't you see what we could do? We could command all vampires, all humans. Nobody would dare challenge us. Isabella could make an enemy give up without one hint of violence, or at least less violence. I know that you appreciate that, young friend."

"What we appreciate is being left in peace, Aro. We were no threat to you, not until you pushed us to be," Edward told him.

"You are correct. I overstepped my bounds. I let my head be turned by all the possibilities your beautiful wife presented. Surely that is understandable?" Aro dropped his head, attempting to show shame I imagine. I wasn't buying it for a second.

"I understand it perfectly. I just don't forgive you for it. We've never done anything to you. We never would have. Yet you came to our home and took our mother. And not just our mother, Carlisle's wife. He calls you a friend, Aro. How could you do that to him? You know what she means to him," Edward spat angrily. "You didn't see his face. He was nearly destroyed when he heard that you took her away. That alone would be unforgivable but coming after my wife as well? Surely you don't think we'd overlook that?"

Aro lifted his head, his eyes now glittering angrily. "And that is your problem, child. You place sentiment in front of everything else. You handicap yourselves with emotion. This is why you could never lead our people."

Edward threw up his hands. "We don't want to lead anyone, Aro. We just want to be left alone. Why can't you understand that?"

"Because I am not a fool, like you apparently are," Aro hissed. "Don't you see what you have standing next to you? You know what she can do. How can you even think about throwing that all away? Nobody in their right mind would. You would have come for me eventually, I had to strike first."

"We were never coming for you, Aro," I spoke quietly and all heads turned my way. "I have no interest in using my power for my own gain. If anything, I want to use it to help people."

"Help people? Human people? Our lunch?" Aro let out a disbelieving laugh. "Surely you can't be serious. You wouldn't waste such a gift on humankind! Why were you gifted with an ability so great when you won't use it?"

"I will use it, just not the way you want me to," I informed him.

"This is why you need to join me, Isabella. You lack imagination. I can show you so much more. I can help you live up to your potential. I can give you the world, you've only to say yes and take it," he told me, his eyes burning into mine.

"Aro," Marcus intoned. "I think perhaps it is time to cut your losses. Clearly, the Cullen's have no plans to join us, nor do they plan on usurping our power. There has never been a bond stronger than theirs, which you well know. Let them go in peace." Finally, one of them listened to reason.

"Brother, I cannot let such an incredible gift be ignored. It means too much to me…to us."

Edward flashed a triumphant smile. "To you, you mean." He turned to Marcus. "What your dear brother is leaving unsaid is that he has every intention of using Bella's power for his own gain, even at your expense. You don't plan on continuing to share control with Caius and Marcus, do you Aro?"

Aro didn't even bat an eyelash. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. My brothers mean the world to me."

Marcus glanced at Aro and then at Edward. "I hold no illusions as to my brother's thirst for power. Nothing surprises me anymore." His voice held no inflection; he may as well have been discussing the weather. "Tell them where their mother is, brother, so that they can return home where they belong."

"No, Marcus, the location of Esme is the only thing still holding them here. It's the only power I have left. Therefore, we shall need to work on some sort of compromise."

Edward regarded the elder vampire with unabashed amusement. "Such as?"

"You and Bella and your entire family, if you wish, will stay here for a month or two and help me with something that has been plaguing me for centuries. After you do that, you may leave and I will never both you again."

"What specifically do you want help with?"

Aro frowned. "That is not your concern."

"Oh, but it very much is, Aro. We will agree to nothing blindly." I watched Edward in awe, his confidence and strength were extremely intoxicating.

"Fine then," Aro waved a hand airily. "There are two very old vampires that continue to attempt to overthrow me." He glanced at Marcus. _"Us,"_ he corrected himself. "They're Romanians and feel that they are the rightful leaders in our world. Vladimir and Stefan," he spat their names like they were a curse word. "Help me remove them and you'll never hear another peep out of me."

Edward smiled at me. "What do you think, Bella? Does that sound like a good deal?" He squeezed my hand gently.

"Not really," I responded. "I mean, it seems to me that we're the ones in control now, yet he's still trying to make deals."

Aro chuckled. "I'm the one who has your mother."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that," Edward told him with a small smile. "I'm pretty confident our brothers and sisters have found her by now."

"How can you be so sure?" Aro asked, his eyebrows rising inquisitively. "They have a lot of space to cover and you've only been here for a short time. Make things easier on yourselves, agree and you can all be reunited without any hassle."

"He can be sure because we're here," a familiar voice boomed from the doorway. "Bro, Little Sis, looks like you have things under control. Shall we go back to the plane and wait for you there?" Emmett's voice was full of amusement and joy. I breathed a sigh of relief; he wouldn't be so boisterous if anything was wrong with Esme or the rest of our family. I wanted to turn and look at him, at all of them, but I was loathe to turn my back on Aro, even though I still had control of all of them.

Edward had no such qualms, turning his back on the Volturi and greeting our family. "Esme, you're okay?" He opened his arms and she ran into them. I couldn't contain the smile that spread over my face at the sight of her. Then those arms were wrapped around me, holding me in that perfect hug that only Esme could give.

"Thank you, dear. I knew you'd come for me," she whispered, squeezing me tightly and then moving to stand on my right, her hand immediately enveloped in Carlisle's. He was glaring down at Aro, who watched him impassively.

"As you can see," Edward told Aro, "we haven't any need for your assistance in finding our mother." Edward glanced at Jasper, standing to left. "Did you have any trouble at all?"

Jasper grinned. "Who, us? I have more trouble hauling Alice away from the mall than we did with Caius and company." He turned that smile on Aro. "I'm really quite sorry to inform you that your newest toy is broken and burning in a cabin in the woods. You'll have to try to find some other way to neutralize us, if you can."

"How did you find them so easily?" Aro asked, his voice frosty with rage.

"Why, your man led us right to them," Jasper drawled, amusement in his tone.

"What man? None of my guard would be so blind as to not notice you…" he broke off as understanding dawned on his withered face. "You?" he asked me.

"I made Felix take them straight there," I told him; there was no point in keeping that a secret now.

Aro closed his eyes. "Your gift…" he whispered. "The things I could do with it." His voice was bereft, as if he'd lost a beloved family member instead of just potential power. It didn't surprise me that he'd react like that. "And what of my brother and Felix?"

"They joined Haides in the fire," Jasper told him. There were several angry hisses from the Volturi, Jane and Demetri were particularly loud, but Aro and Marcus had no physical reaction whatsoever. One woman, I presume she was Caius' wife, let out a loud, angry wail.

"It seems I underestimated you and your peaceful tendencies," Aro told Jasper, his red eyes boring into Jasper's golden ones.

"I thought I made it clear when you visited us that I was more than ready to make the fight physical," Jasper responded, leaning forward with glittering black eyes. "We did what we had to do. Your brother tried to bargain for his life, offering us power and riches, as if we have need of either. Of course, you're here doing the same thing, aren't you? You truly are two peas in a pod. Both of you underestimated us. He paid with his life. Do you want to do the same?" His voice was challenging and threatening all at once.

"I'd rather not," Aro told him, not sounding remotely intimidated. He turned his head to look at me. "Well, it seems you have bested me, for now. Someday, Isabella, you will start to crave more. Playing house with your husband and the rest of them won't be enough for you. You will want power and position. When that day comes, return to Volterra and I will take you in with open arms. I will overlook this defiance, for as your husband rightly pointed out, I brought this on myself by acting in haste. I will be waiting for you, because one day you will come to your senses."

Rosalie snorted behind me. "Oh yeah, Bella is real power hungry Aro. Don't hold your breath waiting for her. Well actually, go ahead and do that, it won't kill you, unfortunately."

"I hope to see you again someday soon," Aro told me dismissively, waving a hand as if we were just going to leave and let that be that.

Edward chuckled. "Do you really think we're going to walk away and pretend this never happened, Aro? Wait blithely for the next time you figure out a way to strike at us? I know you think we're foolish, but surely you don't think that we're that stupid."

For the first time, Aro's face wrinkled in mild concern. "What do you plan on doing, Edward? Your lovely wife could hold us here indefinitely I suppose but then you're stuck here as well. Isn't it best we just go our separate ways, peacefully?"

"You don't know anything about peace, Aro," his voice, when he finally spoke, was strong and confident. Carlisle stepped forward and stared right into his former friend's face. "You came after my family. You took my wife. You're trying to take my daughter away from me. Even the most peaceful man is incapable of overlooking that."

Some emotion flickered in Aro's eyes but was quickly blinked away. "Carlisle, dear friend, I know that you're angry with me and you have every right to be. But you must know it was never my intention to harm your beloved wife. I didn't touch a hair on her head. I would never do that to you. As soon as Isabella came and took her place at my side, I was going to return her to you, just as I took her, completely unharmed."

"You took her from me, Aro," Carlisle's voice shook with barely suppressed anger. "You know just how long I waited for her, how lonely I was. You, my supposed friend. I can't, I won't, forgive that."

Aro nodded slowly. "That is perfectly understandable. I am sorry to lose your friendship, I have always valued it." Emmett snorted now while Alice let out a tinkle of laughter at Aro's audacity to say such a thing.

"You have lost a lot more than that. You lost your brother and two members of your guard. You've also lost my respect. I no longer recognize you as any kind of leader. I will continue to live my life the way I want to and there is nothing you can do about it," Carlisle told him, stepping back and taking Esme into his arms.

"I am still your sovereign, Carlisle. Just because you chose to turn your back on our lifestyle doesn't mean that you don't abide by the same rules that govern us all."

"I will keep our secret; you have nothing to fear there. I just will not recognize you as any kind of leader. The Volturi no longer exist to me, unless you come calling again. And if you do, so help me, you won't walk away with only a few men lost." My jaw nearly dropped at the warning in Carlisle's tone. He had been pushed too far it seemed.

"Will you kill me now, then?" Aro asked, his voice taunting. "Because you know that I am not going to forget this disrespect. You may have the advantage now but you can't guarantee that you'll always have it. There's another Haides out there somewhere, just waiting for me to come along and offer him the world. You may as well take me now, while Isabella has me defenseless, because I won't be for long." The menace in his tone sent shivers down my spine.

"I don't kill defenseless beings, Aro, that's your forte. Bella has something even better planned for you," Carlisle told him, placing a hand on my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze of support.

"And what might that be, Isabella?" Aro asked, his voice dripping with venom.

It was strange that I was getting butterflies in my stomach now, when I had my whole family here to help and support me. I guess it was because now I was really going to be testing myself. "Alice?" I asked, hoping the plan that Jasper and Edward had come up with was clear to her now.

"Yes, Bella, it will work!" she told me excitedly, bouncing next to Jasper.

"What will work?" Aro demanded, slamming a hand down on his chair and causing the arm to splinter open.

"Let's go to the back of the room," I suggested, wanting to make sure we were out of range for what I had planned.

Aro laughed sardonically. "So your plan is just to leave? How very terrifying."

I narrowed my eyes at him and gripped Edward's hand tighter as we took our places near the door. "You can do it," he whispered to me, confidence clear in his tone.

I focused in on Alec's power source, the lower left of his brain, and pushed it out toward the rest of the Volturi. Slowly, a mist began to creep away from Alec and swirl around the coven, rendering them completely immobile and senseless. "Alice, you're sure?"

"Yes, Bella, you will have plenty of time."

"If they start to surface, I'll pull on your arm and you and Edward will exit the mind so you can do it again," Jasper informed me. I let more of Alec's power wash over them all, sending more mist floating around them.

"Okay, Edward, are you ready? We'll just go from left to right, starting with Jane and ending with Aro," I told him. He nodded and squeezed my hand. I opened my mind to him and he opened his to me. I wanted to bathe in the feeling that swam through me as we became one like this. The connection was incredible. But I couldn't take the time to enjoy it now. Together Edward and I connected into Jane's unbelievably dark mind. Her memories were filled with glee over the torture she had inflicted upon others over the years. She disgusted me and I was glad I had taken her power away.

Together we sorted through her memories quickly, taking away this instance first, as it was the freshest in her mind. Edward flipped through the various strands, pulling out the ones involving us the first time we came to Volterra. _Forget, _I told her, watching as the memory curled upon itself and withered away. We found a couple of instances where she had heard Aro talk of us and of Carlisle and removed those as well. She didn't have much of a history with us and we were done very quickly.

Alec's memories were identical to that of his twin's, they were rarely apart. We found and disposed of them quickly. Aro and Caius' wives took a little more time, as they had been around when Carlisle lived in Volterra. I wanted to smile over the fact that Carlisle over two hundred years ago was very much the same he was now, peaceful and caring. I had to be ruthless, though, and take even pleasant memories away. For Caius' wife, I left her with the only gift I could give. _Your husband is on a long trip, he will return at some unknown time. _She didn't need to know he was dead, though maybe that was less cruel, I didn't really know.

Chelsea, Heidi and Renata were both fairly recent acquisitions to the Volturi and also only held the same memories of us as Jane and Alec did, although Renata had several conversations with Aro that the others were not privy to. She was there as he formulated his plan to kidnap one of us and bring the rest of us running. So it hadn't been Esme in particular they were after, just whomever they could get alone. We took those conversations as well as Edward flipped through images and conversations like he was turning the pages of a book.

I had no idea how long we were taking as we flipped from mind to mind but I trusted that my family would pull me out if they needed me. Demetri's mind contained a bit more than the others, since he was there for the kidnapping and spent many hours alone with Esme and Aro. I wanted to rage at the fear on Esme's face in his mind, at the taunting she had endured from the three vampires as they flew over to Italy. Now was not the time. Edward grabbed the memories for me and I made them vanish.

A new mind came into my awareness. I wasn't sure how but there was someone else there. I opened to it and realized that Emmett had brought Gianna into the room. She would have been the last one we had to get past and now we didn't have to worry about taking care of her while the others awoke. We quickly entered her mind and it was far less convoluted than that of the vampires. Edward and I erased our two visits, which was all she knew of us. She wasn't exactly part of Aro's inner circle.

Finally there were only two left and they were the two with the longest memories. We entered Marcus' mind first. I started with the newest ones and we worked our way back. I felt a little sad removing his memory of Edward's and my love for one another upon our first meeting. I could feel the strength of our bond through his gift and I wanted to bask in it but I knew better. I ruthlessly cut it off and sorted through Carlisle's time in Volterra. We went all the way back to when a nearly broken Carlisle showed up on their doorstep. I breathed a sigh of relief. We were finished with him.

_Are you ready? _I asked Edward, more than a little daunted at the task still remaining. I felt slightly tired from the informational overload.

_I am, love, can you handle one more? _

_Yes, it's just that saving the hardest for last might not have been the smartest plan._

I felt his chuckle moving through me, as if I were the one laughing. It was a beautiful feeling. _If we started with him, we probably would have been too worn out to do the rest. We can do this, love. Together we can do anything._

I took a deep breath and we slipped inside Aro's mind. I could feel the anger pulsing at me, no wonder he and Jane got along so well, their minds were very similar, he was just in more control of expressing his emotions than she was. We quickly erased our current interaction and slowly wove our way through Aro's plans for getting me here, his joy in finding out my power, his visit to us in New Hampshire, his interest in my future after our first trip…it was a little daunting to see just how much of his mind had been filled with me. I shuddered and continued through his memories of Edward and I during our first visit, Edward's begging for the end of his life…I let out a little sob at that memory. _Bella, love, it's okay. It didn't happen and we're together now, forever. _

_I know; it's just hard to see again. _It had been Marcus' mind as well and I'd done my best to ignore it, but I couldn't overlook it twice. I locked it away, to deal with later. I also had to remove all of Edward's and Alice's memories, including the vision of me as a newborn vampire and every precious moment Edward and I had together. It would have been impossible for me to take them if I didn't have them for myself, as it was I was glad to take back our private feelings and memories for our own. I yanked them out of his head angrily.

We continued on, taking out small visits Carlisle had made, conversations they'd had on the phone. They really had been friends, discussing philosophy and religion with a passion and respect. We continued down through Carlisle's actual time living there. There were too many memories to count. We just worked through them and worked through them until, finally, they were all gone.

_Is that it? _Edward asked me.

_No, we have to do one more thing._

_What?_

_We have to make sure that he never finds out about us again. I can't control if someone mentions us but I can stop him from reading us in the minds of others. _

_You mean you're going to take his power away?_

_I have to. _We hadn't discussed this in detail but I thought I could do to him just what I'd done to Jane. Only I wanted to be absolutely sure he never found out about us again and there was only one way to do that. _Just a little longer, Edward, _I reassured him, taking us out of his memories and into his center of power. _Forget_, I ordered over and over as we moved through this complex part of his mind. Just like with his memories, though, his ability to control his power faded away. I paused before leaving his mind and found I could no longer feel it pulsing away at me like before. Aro could no longer take anyone else's memories and make them his own.

We exited and I opened my eyes, feeling slightly unsteady on my feet as I held onto Edward. "Is everything okay?" I asked anxiously, glancing over to the front of the room where the mists were still swirling around the Volturi.

"Absolutely. Somehow you managed to keep control of Alec despite what you were doing," Jasper told me. Relief swept over me.

"Did you do it?" Emmett demanded.

"Yes," I answered.

"Not only that, she made sure that Aro can't ever find us in anyone else's mind either."

"How?" Jasper wondered.

"She made him forget his power, took it right out of his head."

"Brilliant," he told me, giving me a tight hug.

"Alice?" I asked. I still needed the reassurance.

She threw her arms around me. "It worked, Bella, stop being such a worrywart. Now can we go home?"

"Please, let's," Carlisle said, giving me a hug when Alice released me.

I sent another dose of swirling mist from Alec and kept directing the word _forget _behind me as we made our way through the tunnels and out into the balmy Italian night.

Edward slipped his hand in mine as we ran back to Pisa, wanting to leave Volterra behind as quickly as possible. "I'm so proud of you," he told me, a soft smile on his handsome face. "What you did back there was amazing."

"What _we_ did back there was amazing," I corrected him. "I'm not half as strong without you."

He laughed, freely and happily. The sound rang through me like a bell. "The same goes for me without you, love."

We arrived at the plane and piled inside quickly. Carlisle told us all to sit down, even Rose and Emmett who were supposed to fly the plane. "I just have to say one thing and then we can go. I've lived a very long life and I hope to live a lot longer, but I know I'll never be as happy or as proud as I am today. What you did, what you all did, to get Esme back and gain our freedom, is beyond incredible. I love you and I'm grateful that each and every one of you is part of my family."

"We're just as grateful that you made us a part of it," Rose told him softly, emotion welling in her eyes.

"Let's go home and enjoy our lives, free of fear," Carlisle said. Rose nodded and she and Emmett hurried to start up the plane. Esme and Carlisle cuddled into one another's sides and began to whisper softly. Alice and Jasper did the same in the back of the plane.

I looked at Edward and he looked at me, love and pride shining in his eyes. "I love you," he murmured, pressing a soft kiss to my lips.

"I love you, too," I told him, resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes, content in the fact that for the first time since we met, nothing was hanging over our heads. We had our entire lives ahead of us and I looked forward to every second.


	46. Epilogue

**A/N Well here we are, the official end. Bear with me as I'm about to get as wordy as my beta tells me I am. Sorry if I sound like I'm giving an Academy Award speech but I have to thank several people and everyone of you as well.**

**This story would not exist if rameau and AG0418 had not taken to discussing Wide Awake on my blog. I resisted reading it, sure that I would be unable to stand reading about Edward in any form other than the books. Finally curiosity got the better of me and I read. Then I read some more and more and...you get the picture. After two or three solid months of reading fic, I told them that I had an idea for a story, one I had yet to see. They told me to get writing. I posted a few chapters on my blog and rameau volunteered to beta for me, as did another friend, Tripp3235 (who got me into blogging in the first place). Those three are the ones to blame and/or thank depending on your view. I've done both but I'm thankful they gave me the encouragement and sometimes the pushing that I needed. **

**Rameau, in particular, has made this story far better than it would have been had I gone it alone. She's pushed me to the point of rage a few times but most of her changes/ideas made it into the story and made it richer than I would have thought possible. She was my idea beta, the one who got what I was trying to do and did her best to help me steer there. Tripp made me aware of my issues with commas and semi-colons and I'm proud to say she's rarely had to correct one in the later chapters. I can still learn new things! AG0 held my hand and gave me strength and encouragement the whole way through. Nan McCullen gave me the final push to stop hiding on my blog and put this out there for you guys to see.**

**I would love to thank everyone by name who has left me even one review, but there are so many of you that I couldn't begin to do that. All I can do is thank you all for coming on this journey with me. I feel like every one of you is a friend. All your words of support and encouragement along the way bolstered me in ways I can't begin to describe. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for reading, recommending, reviewing...whatever combination applies to you. I have a little more to say down below but for now I'll let you see the ending that's been in my head since the beginning. I hope you like it!**

Sacrificial Lamb Epilogue-25 Years Later

BPOV

I closed my eyes as the call I'd been anticipating for what felt like ages came. How do you prepare to hear something like this? How do you deal with it? Alice had given me time frames and estimates but now that the moment was here I didn't know what to do with myself.

"Bella," Edward said softly, putting his hand over mine on the receiver. "Do you want me to answer it?"

I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak. I had to do this myself.

"Hello." The voice that was once familiar sounded almost foreign to my ears now. Of course, he was much older, a man now. I listened to him tell me what I already knew, that I didn't have very long if I wanted to say goodbye one last time. The fact that I was getting that much stunned me beyond words.

"Do you agree to leave as soon as you've seen him?" he asked gruffly.

"Of course." Edward's hand squeezed mine in gentle support. He was by my side, always. "I'm bringing Edward with me. He'll wait for me elsewhere though. Is that alright?"

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. Surely he didn't expect anything else. I could count on one hand the number of times Edward and I had been separated over the last couple decades. Twice, when he went to medical conferences with Carlisle and another time when Alice dragged the girls to Paris for a fashion week extravaganza. I still couldn't believe she'd gotten me to go, nearly twenty years later.

"I'll allow it, this once." I rolled my eyes at his proclamation but didn't challenge him verbally. He really was bending the rules letting us come back at all.

"We'll be there as soon as possible." The plane was already ready and waiting. All that had been left was to wait for the phone call. I hung up and looked at Edward. "It's time."

We got on the plane and Edward took the controls. He let me sit and think as he piloted us home. It was just the two of us on this trip. That seemed fitting somehow. The family would have come if I asked them to but I needed to do this alone. They were all busy with their own lives anyway.

Rosalie was teaching at a local preschool, having finally embraced the idea of working with children since she couldn't have any of her own. Every day she came home with new stories, glowing as if she was speaking of her own children. Emmett had become a teacher himself, coaching football at the local high school. He made up a story about tearing his MCL in college as the reason why he wasn't playing professionally. He loved teaching now as much as he had when he was throwing baby dolls at me. I smiled as I remembered his joy when Alice had presented him the final piece of Emmett Junior a couple years ago. He now sat in his own chair at Emmett and Rosalie's house.

That was another thing that had changed. We all lived separately now. Not that we were far apart. We were within five miles of one another and often showed up at each other's houses uninvited, but always welcome. We were as close as we'd ever been but we decided since we weren't pretending to be high schoolers anymore, we may as well live like real couples did.

Alice needed her whole house for space anyway. She had finally started designing clothing professionally under the label Forecasts. Her love of clothes combined with her gift allowed her to always be on the cutting edge of fashion and design houses wooed her constantly. She was reclusive and highly sought after. The fashion world loved a mystery. Jasper followed in Emmett's footsteps and became a teacher in his own right, although instead of gym he was teaching self defense classes at night and history at the local college by day. He combined all his fighting skills; karate, jujitsu, krav maga and other fighting styles and helped women stand up for themselves. I was blown away that one of us who struggled the most was putting himself out there that way but Jasper always liked a challenge.

Carlisle was still practicing medicine; it was the thing that fulfilled him the most besides his family. Esme's interior design business took off. We were living in the foothills of Michigan now but people came from far and wide to contract with her.

As he'd told Aro all those years ago, we no longer recognized the Volturi as part of our world. There was always the very slight worry that someone would mention us to Aro but even if they did, he wouldn't know who we were. Eleazar, Carmen, Kate, Garrett, Irina and Tanya had all been told what we did that day and all agreed not to mention it to anyone. While I trusted the first four with that information, I was more hesitant about Irina and Tanya. Irina and I eventually met and we were cordial, though hardly friends. Things with Tanya were never really pleasant; we all tolerated one another for the sake of family. She was too afraid of losing her relationship with her own family if she slipped up again, though, so we trusted her, albeit tentatively.

I watched my husband handle the controls effortlessly. He was even more beautiful to me now than he was the first time I laid eyes on him. I didn't know how that was possible. Edward had followed Carlisle's footsteps into medicine. Of course, he looked too young to pass for an actual doctor so he just perpetually went to medical school, doing residency so he got to practice at least. He figured that his ability to resist my blood made him strong enough to resist anyone's and he was completely right. He was nearly as skilled as Carlisle already. He astounded me every day.

We were as close as ever. Closer, maybe. They hadn't been kidding when they told me that the love only got deeper over the years. We still couldn't keep our hands off each other. I loved being perpetual newlyweds. That's what we pretended to be everywhere we lived anyway; it wasn't much of a hardship playing that out.

I watched the clouds fly by as I tried not to think about what I was going to do. We'd kept a close eye on my parents over the years and I'd even been lucky enough to see Renee and Phil on TV a time or two at my brother's games. That's right, I had a brother. His name was John David Dwyer, though he went by JD. He was one of the best baseball players in the major league. He was an outfielder for the New York Yankees and Edward and I had gone to see him play several times. JD had Renee's blue eyes and Phil's dark hair. Edward swore he had my smile. He may have been right. It was strange to have a fully grown sibling that I'd never met but I was glad that my mother had him. Having him had helped her fill the hole that my absence had left. By all accounts, she was a much more attentive mother this time around, though she still couldn't cook. Our private investigator gave us very thorough reports. It wasn't the same but at least I felt somewhat involved with my family.

And Charlie…I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat as I thought of my father. Jasper had been true to his word and his man, Jenks, had sent a man to Forks to watch over my father. He was a former Seattle cop and he quickly got a job at the Forks, PD and became a close friend of my father. They fished together and watched sports and their two families spend time together as well.

Charlie had indeed married Sue Clearwater and Seth moved into our old house with them. Leah left the reservation and went to school in Portland, meeting and falling in love with a man named Mark Gains. They and their two daughters visited often from what I heard and Charlie loved lavishing attention on the girls. He got to be a grandfather and I was incredibly grateful for that. Seth also had a son that Charlie spent most of his time with.

I felt fingers brush over my cheek and turned to look at the love of my life. "Are you with me?" he asked, a soft smile on his handsome face.

"Always," I told him.

"I'm sorry that this day arrived," he told me.

"I always knew it would. You warned me it would happen. Now I just have to face it."

"I wish you didn't have to. I wish I could do something to help you."

I took his hand in mine then. "You are, just by being here."

"There's nowhere else I would be," he told me, which was wholly unnecessary because I knew that with every fiber of my being.

He set the plane down at the private airport that was a couple hours closer than Seatac. We got into the rental car, already arranged by Alice, and made the hour drive to Forks in relative quiet. It was drizzling and grey, so much like that day I arrived all those years ago. Who knew coming to live with my father would change my life so utterly and completely? And now, here I was returning and saying one final goodbye to the life I had willingly left behind.

I didn't regret it. I couldn't. My life with Edward had been everything I hoped it would be and then some. I'd gone to some of the finest colleges in the world: Oxford and Harvard and Yale. I had a couple different literature degrees and I had written and published a couple of novels under the penname Marie Mason. I used my middle name and Edward's former last name, with a slight spelling change just as a precaution. My young adult series, about a boy and a girl who fall in love despite many obstacles, had a pretty huge cult following. I refused all press and publicity and was fortunate that my publishing company was too thrilled with the sales to push me on the issue.

My stories were our story, just without the vampire and werewolf twist. I kept the magic without the supernatural elements. I named the boy Kevin Charles, a private shout out to my father, and the girl Angela Jacobs, for two of my former friends. I doubted they read or knew about them, but their kids might. Or grandkids, in Charlie's case.

I was so glad he'd had a happy life. Sue and her kids had filled the hole I left better than I could have ever hoped for. And they were there for him now, as his life came to an end. Alice saw it coming, the early onset of Alzheimer's that forced him to retire a few years earlier than he planned. I wanted to come out and help him immediately but Alice told me that Sue wouldn't welcome the intrusion and it would only make matters worse for Charlie. I didn't want that, so I waited. And I waited some more and then suddenly it was too late. Charlie had lost all his mental faculties; he didn't recognize anyone anymore. I still could have helped him recover everything but then he developed pneumonia as well. Alice said he wasn't going to make it. I had only a couple days. Maybe it was cruel of me, maybe it was wrong but I wanted to see him once more and actually show him I was alright and say goodbye properly.

The trees flashed by, their green leaves sodden from the early spring rain. I nearly smiled as I remembered telling Edward that everything was too green here. It seemed like just yesterday but it had been a lifetime ago. Edward drove past my old house without my asking. He knew I would want to see it one more time. We didn't stop; I could hear some children inside and knew that Leah and Seth and their kids were probably there. They had been informed of my visit and everyone was going to steer clear of the hospital for now. I was both happy and sad about that. Part of me wanted to see them but another part wanted to remember the gangly young boy and the angry beautiful girl just as they were.

We cruised past the high school and Edward squeezed my hand. I didn't have to force the smile as I looked at the place where I first laid eyes on the love of my life. "I thought you hated me," I reminded him.

He chuckled and lifted my hand to his lips. "I wanted to. It would have been so much easier if I had. I could have stayed away. Thank God I didn't." I smiled as he said those words; how he'd changed since we met. That Edward didn't really believe in God and heaven and souls, now he said I was his heaven and recognized that we both still had our souls. We had to believe that there was something, some higher power that helped us find one another and hold onto our love through all the trials and tribulations we'd faced.

There had been no word from the Volturi. Eleazar had received word about Aro's lack of power. It was being kept very quiet, as Aro didn't want the vampire community to know that he had lost his ability. It seemed Aro blamed Caius, who hadn't been seen since the day we rescued Esme. We knew there was always a chance he would find out about us, but not having his ability diminished the chances quite a bit. His focus remained on his rogue brother for now and we were quite happy with that.

Edward pulled into the parking lot at Fork's General Hospital, yet another place that held many memories for us. It was the first place I'd seen Carlisle, a man I'd come to think of as another father. And now I was here to say goodbye to my birth father. It hurt, more than I would have thought possible.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?" Edward asked, watching me closely as the windshield wipers whirred in front of us.

"We already talked about that. I can pass for a distant relative. People here will likely remember you, and seeing the two of us together would raise quite a few red flags."

"You could make them not notice," he reminded me.

"I know, but I really want to concentrate on Charlie, not on everyone around us."

"I understand. I just don't like the thought of you going through this alone." He stroked my cheek gently.

"I'm never alone. Even when you're not with me, you are." He flashed me that lop sided smile. It had the same affect on me now as it did the first time I saw it; my belly flipped and my heart felt like it was beating again. I gave him a quick kiss and squared my shoulders. "I'll see you soon."

He nodded. "I'll be…"

"I know where you'll be," I told him.

He kissed me again. "I'll see you there then."

I stepped out of the car and walked hurriedly into the entrance. The hospital hadn't changed much at all since the last time I was here. I walked to the front desk. "Excuse me, can you tell me Charlie Swan's room, please?"

The older woman adjusted her glasses and eyed me curiously. "And you are?"

"His third cousin, Marie. I heard he was ill and got here as soon as I could." The lie fell smoothly from my lips even though I was screaming inside that I was his daughter and I wanted to see my father.

She looked something up on her computer and nodded. "Yes, I see you on the approved visitor's list. Please sign in here." I signed my name to the sign-in sheet and silently blessed my husband for his computer skills. "He's in room 237," she informed me, gesturing toward the elevator.

I rode up to his floor quickly; glad to be alone in the elevator. The scent of human blood was nothing to me now but it was still blessedly peaceful not be confined with it either. I took a right turn out of the elevator and found the room I was looking for quickly. I closed my eyes for a minute and steeled myself before going in.

I let out an involuntary cry when I saw my father lying against the white pillow. I'd seen pictures of him over the years and I thought I was prepared to see him now. I knew his once brown hair had gone white. I knew he no longer had a moustache, having given that up about ten years ago. Logically, I knew he would have aged but I just wasn't prepared to see him looking like an old man. He was only 67 years old. But he'd been sick for awhile now and it had clearly taken a toll on his body. He was frail; his skin was wrinkled and withered. It was clear that he'd lost a lot of weight. He didn't look like the Charlie I remembered at all. Time had passed for him but stood still for me.

I took a tentative step into the room but he remained unaware of my presence. His eyes were closed and he appeared to be asleep. I walked over to the chair on his right side and dropped into it, never taking my eyes off the first man that I loved. "Dad," I whispered, "It's me, Bella. I'm so sorry that I couldn't come to you before. I wanted to, but it just wasn't possible. I wish I could have been there for you." I stroked his hand softly, not wanting to wake him.

His eyes flashed open though, perhaps at the coolness of my touch. And there, at last, was my father. Those brown eyes, my old eyes, were focused on me. I swear I saw a flicker of recognition in them before confusion wiped that away. "Hello," he said, his voice raspy and quiet but still familiar.

"Hi," I responded, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Who are you?" I kept the smile on my face even though my heart lurched at the question. Alice told me that he wouldn't know me but it still pained me to hear the question.

"I'm family," I told him.

"That's good." He patted my hand gently. "Where is my gun? I need to go on patrol."

I bit my lip to keep from crying. I'd been warned but still…this hurt. "No, you don't need to go on patrol today, Charlie. You have the day off."

He blinked those brown eyes at me and then smiled. "Well then, what am I still doing in bed? The fish are already biting; I need to get out to the lake. Where's Billy? He needs to pick me up." Billy had died seven year ago but clearly Charlie didn't even remember that Billy didn't drive. He was in a much earlier time, maybe even before me. He tried to sit up and I put a restraining hand on him.

"No, Charlie, Billy won't be here for awhile yet, you have plenty of time." Time…it was endless for me but so short for my father. I wished there was something I could do. "Charlie, do you know who Bella is?" I held my breath as his brow furrowed and let it out when he shook his head.

"Never heard of her. Don't tell me Billy got a girlfriend and that's why he's late," he grumbled. "He always had an eye for the ladies."

I choked out a laugh. "No, she's not his girlfriend."

"Who?" he asked.

"Bella," I reminded him gently.

"Who's Bella?" I closed my eyes again. I couldn't do this. I couldn't leave him in this state. He was going to be gone in a day anyway, what harm would it do? I held his hand and stared into those familiar eyes. I opened my mind and entered his. I had done this countless times over the years. Carlisle and Edward had me help them with many patients that had memory loss, either through amnesia or Alzheimer's. The minds were always very unclear, almost like driving through a thick fog, but I was able to find and coax out memories with some effort. We couldn't do it often or publicly but there had been many miraculous recoveries at our hands. Initially Edward had to help me but I'd learned how to do it on my own after a few tries.

Charlie's mind was definitely very fuzzy, though not the worst I'd ever seen. I found the section of the mind that stored memories and began sorting through them. This was the one thing I could do for him; give him back his mind, if only for a day. Sue would be by later and I knew she'd be thrilled if she could have one final conversation with him, where he knew her and remembered their love. The only thing I hesitated over was giving him back me. I knew that if he talked about me at all, they'd just think he was confused again. Was I being selfish for wanting my father to recognize me? Was I giving him more pain than necessary?

Alice had told me that if I went ahead and let him remember me, it would be fine. I wanted it to be but I also didn't want to hurt him. I'd caused him enough pain over the years. What was right?

While I soul searched, I sifted through his cloudy memories, they appeared smudged, like camera film. I spoke the word _Remember _over and over, scrubbing off the smudges with my power. I gave him back Sue and Leah and Seth and their families. I gave him back Jacob and all his time with Billy and even Renee and Phil and JD. They'd stayed in touch in the years since my death, which made me happy. JD got Charlie some fantastic Mariners tickets when the Yankees had been in town.

And now I had to decide. Was it better to say goodbye as a stranger? Or would he be happier knowing that I was still alive and well, in my own way? I just didn't know. I looked in those eyes, so like my own, and tried to put myself in his place. Would I want to see my child after all those years of thinking her dead? I think I would. If there was indeed a heaven, Charlie was going to go there and then he'd likely know where I was anyway. And so, I took out the rest of those smudges, the ones that catalogued my life from birth to death at nineteen. I pulled out of his mind and watched s those eyes cleared again, confusion gone.

He took me in slowly, running his eyes over me as if he thought I was mirage. "It can't be," he whispered, shaking his head slowly in denial.

"Yes, it's me." I waited; just to be sure that he knew who I was.

"Bella? Is that really you?"

"Yes, Dad. I've missed you." My voice came out in a half sob and I bit my lip. Charlie's eyes widened as he took in my mannerism, one that hadn't changed in all these years.

"How can it be? You're still young. And you look different, paler. Your eyes…what's going on?" He tried to sound authoritative but he didn't have the strength, instead his words were a whisper. His face, however, said what his words couldn't. He was surprised, happy, upset and confused all at the same time. I didn't need Jasper here to tell me that much.

"I could explain all that, if you really wanted, but there isn't that much time. I…I just wanted a chance to see you again. To show you that I'm alright. Edward and I are still happy together. The Cullen's are wonderful to me. I had to let you think I died, because, well, how could I explain this to you?" I gestured at my face and my new body. "Plus, it was safer. You have to trust me on that. I'm so sorry that I had to leave you and that you thought I was dead all these years. You are the best father in the world and I hate that I caused you any pain. Can you forgive me?"

He just stared at me, trying to take in the spill of words that I couldn't seem to stop falling from my lips. "I don't understand," he whispered, but his hand came off the bed and brushed my hair back. "You are still young." His brow furrowed as I nodded. "How is that possible?"

I caught his hand in mine and held it. "There's a lot more to the world than you or I thought possible. Everything you thought wasn't real, probably is. At least a few things are. There are different beings. I…I don't know how much you want me to tell you."

"Tell me it all. At least the highlights." He watched me steadily. I prayed that I wasn't going to cause him to die any sooner with the revelation I was about to lay on him.

"I…Edward…the Cullen's, all of us really, are vampires." His eyes widened but he didn't pull his hand from mine or try to scream so I continued on. "I figured out Edward was different right away and he eventually let me know his secret and…" here's where I broke off, ashamed to tell him what I'd done, even though I didn't regret my choice, only that it hurt him. "And I asked him to turn me into one so we could be together forever," I finished all in a rush, my eyes on Charlie's face, waiting for anger or censure, maybe even hate.

I didn't see any of that in his eyes though, I saw only confusion. "I must be dreaming. Or dead. Am I dead? It's not funny to play a joke on a dead man, Bella." I choked out a laugh.

"You're neither," I assured him, gently squeezing his hand. "You're just being given some very strange and disturbing news to process. I probably shouldn't have told you, I just really wanted you to know that I'm happy."

"I always knew there was something off about that kid," he muttered, shaking his head. "But no, you had to have him. And you knew what he was all along?" I nodded and waited. "Why didn't you just tell me, Bells?" At his use of my nickname I nearly wailed. Nobody called me that anymore and I loved hearing it again from my father.

"Would you have really been alright if I told you I had a vampire boyfriend that I was going to marry and have turn me?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He scowled at me in response. I laughed and couldn't resist giving him a gentle hug. His hands awkwardly patted me but I was thrilled with that much and that he didn't try to push me away.

"No. If you're really a vampire, though, aren't you supposed to want to drink my blood or something?"

I laughed and ran my hand over his cheek. "No, I'm a vegetarian vampire. We all are. We don't eat humans at all. Why aren't you scared?" I asked him, curious as to how calm he was.

"Probably because this seems like a dream. On top of that, I'm old and I'm sick. I'm hardly in any shape to run out of this room screaming about vampires. They'd throw me in a padded room then." I smiled because he was probably right. He put his hand on mine over his cheek. "Tell me everything, Bells."

So I did. I told him about me being Edward's singer, how hard he fought just to be near me, why he left, my death, the Volturi…I told him all of it, leaving out only the part about his best friend and his son and his wife's children being wolves. I didn't figure he needed that information. "He must really love you," Charlie responded after hearing our story.

"He does."

"And you must really love him, since you were willing to give up your life to be with him forever." I couldn't read his tone in that moment.

"Do you hate me for that?" I asked fearfully. I knew I deserved his hate and his anger for everything I'd put him through.

He watched me steadily for a minute before answering. "No." I felt like the entire world righted in that moment. "Do I wish you would have clued me in, somehow? Yes, I do. But I am too happy that you're alive or…well, you know…that you're around and happy. That's all I ever wanted for you. I wanted the love of a lifetime with your mother but I didn't get it. I did find my happiness with Sue but it took me a long time. Knowing that you have eternity with the man you love…that makes me happy Bella." I was in his arms again then, pressing my face to neck and just letting myself be his little girl this one last time. His arms held me as tightly as they were able, which wasn't much at all but I was in my father's arms again. That was all that mattered.

I pulled back and wiped the tears that coursed down his face. For the first time in a long time I wished that I could cry too. At least these would have been somewhat happy tears. "Dad, I love you so much," I told him.

"I love you too, Bells. I never stopped. I never will." He told me, running his hand through my hair.

"I never will either," I told him hoarsely.

"Then that means I'll be loved forever. That sounds like a pretty good deal to me."

"Always, Dad. I promise I'll always love you."

"I guess I don't have much longer left on this earth, huh?" he asked. I couldn't lie to him now so I just shook my head. "I'm glad you came to me. And it was you cleared my mind?"

"Yes."

"That's pretty amazing, Bells. I hated not being able to talk to people. A part of me knew who they were but I couldn't connect that with my mouth and everything came out wrong. You've given me two incredible gifts today, my mind and my daughter." His eyes began to flutter a little and I knew his medication was tiring him. His voice was getting raspier and softer the more he talked and I knew I had to go soon but I didn't want to leave him. I promised though. A glance at my watch told me I had only a few minutes before Sue arrived.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be with you sooner." I wouldn't explain to him about broken treaties and promises made and kept. It wasn't until now that Sue and Jacob had agreed to my brief return.

"You came, Bells. That's all that matters."

"I've had an eye on you all along, Dad. I knew about you and Sue and your grandkids…I'm really glad you got to have that family. My only regret about the life I chose is that I took that opportunity away from you. I'm so grateful that they gave you a family again."

"They helped me through quite a bit but I never replaced you, Bells. You've always had a special place in my heart." He watched me with those deep brown eyes and it felt like he was the mind reader for a moment. I didn't know how he knew that I needed to hear that but I did. I knew it, for I had never replaced him either, though I considered Carlisle very much a father, he wasn't Charlie.

"Same goes for me," I whispered back. He squeezed my hand. I heard the elevator open and a soft voice speaking with the nurse. I knew our time was up. "I have to go, Dad." The smile slipped off his face and I felt my heart breaking. "I don't want to, but Sue's here now and she really needs some time with you too. Think about how happy she's going to be to have you recognize her again." The smile slid back on his face then although it didn't reach his eyes. "It's time."

"How much time do I have left?" I shook my head. "Bella, please."

"A day or two." I wasn't going to give him the exact hour and minute. I wanted him to enjoy the time he had left, not watch the clock.

He surprised me by smiling at that. "Then I'll see you again real soon, won't I?" I made a weird wheezing/sobbing sound and nodded. "I'm glad for that, Bells. I'll always be watching you, just like you did me, okay?" I nodded, unable to speak. "Give me another hug, please," he asked softly. I hurried to do as he asked, breathing him in one last time. "I love you," he told me, giving me a final squeeze.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I love you too. Always." I released him and looked to the door, where Sue stood watching us, tears running down her face. "I believe your wife wants a little time with you," I told him.

"I imagine she probably does," he said with a soft chuckle. "Thank you for coming, baby. I can go in peace now." And that was all I truly wanted for him. I memorized every line on his face, every wrinkle on his body and most importantly the look in his eyes. They were full of love and happiness. I could replace the desolation on his face from the last time I saw him with the joy that was there now. That was the greatest gift I could receive.

I kissed him once more and backed my way toward the door, not wanting to stop looking at him until I absolutely had to. He smiled and gave me a little wave. "Goodbye, Bells. Tell Edward I'm glad he's taken good care of you. The Cullen's as well. I'm very proud of who you've become, even if you are a vampire."

I laughed. "I love you, Dad." I had to say it one more time.

"I know. I love you, Bells. Be safe and be happy."

"I will." I turned then and smiled tentatively at Sue, trying to edge around her without touching her. She surprised me by grabbing my hand.

"Thank you, Bella, for bringing him back to me."

"Thank you for taking care of him, Sue."

"Taking care of me, ha," he grumbled. "I'm not a child."

"Sure, Dad," I said, rolling my eyes at Sue who responded with a smile. "Thank you for letting me see him," I whispered softly to her.

Regret flashed in her eyes. "I only wish I would have said yes sooner."

"No, this was exactly right," I told her. I meant it too. I would have liked longer with Charlie but I knew the time I got with him would be with me forever. "If you ever need anything, you've only to call."

She gave me a quick hug. "Same goes, Bella."

"Are you two going to blubber in the hallway all day or is someone going to come in here and give me some much needed attention?" Charlie asked.

Sue laughed and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm coming." She released me and walked over to him. I watched the way he watched her, the love I saw there, and I felt a smile stretch across my lips. Charlie's eyes met mine again and he gave me a little nod. I nodded back and turned and walked slowly toward the elevator. I longed to run back into the room and throw myself in his arms again but I knew that Sue needed time with him as well.

I got in the elevator and rode down to the first floor. I made my way out the door and to the parking lot, back into the rain. At last it felt like tears were falling down my cheeks. I hadn't wanted to cry in years but I wanted to cry now, tears of happiness and also sorrow. I hated that Charlie was leaving this world but I was so glad I got that time with him. I would treasure it always.

I walked across the lot, ready to find cover in the forest and run to Edward. I smelled something awful and whipped my head to the left. "Bella," a deep, familiar voice called. There, standing next to a new red pickup truck, was Jacob Black, wearing ratty jeans and a black t-shirt. I would have recognized him anywhere, even though he had aged. His hair was cut short again and there was some slight gray hair at the temples, but that was really all that had changed. He was still huge and muscular, although maybe not as big as he'd been when he first transformed.

"Jacob," I replied, not sure if I was supposed to talk to him or if he was just here to tell me to leave. He pushed off the truck and walked over to me. I wrinkled my nose against the smell but didn't say anything.

"How are you?" he asked, stopping a couple feet away from me.

I glanced back at the hospital. "I'm good, all things considered."

"How did Charlie take seeing you again?"

I smiled. "Surprisingly well."

He laughed ruefully. "I'm not surprised. You had to get that acceptance for all things weird somewhere."

"How are you?" I asked him. I hadn't talked to him at all, other than to ask if I could return to see my father. I knew from reports that he was married and had a 13 year old son and an 11 year old daughter.

"I'm good. Married for eighteen years now. I have two kids, Joseph and Kira. They're incredible."

I grinned at him, glad to see him so happy. He positively glowed when talking about his wife and children. "So you finally imprinted, huh?"

He laughed and shook his head. "No, I never did. After you all left town, the threat went away and the gene went dormant again. We kept shifting for a couple of years but eventually we all moved on and got our own lives. Most of us are still on the rez raising families and we're all friends still but we've all got our own stuff going on."

"That's great."

He smiled. "Yeah. One day Dana pulled up in front of my garage, smoke pouring out of her '87 Mustang. She was spitting fire and trying to tell me how to fix her car. It was lust at first sight and not much further from there to love."

"I'm really glad to hear that, Jacob. I always hoped you'd find someone special to love." I really was glad my old friend had found his happiness.

"Yeah, thanks," he murmured, glancing toward the hospital. "I guess I should get on up there and visit. Sue probably won't let me see him for long."

"Thanks for looking out for him all these years, Jake. I know you didn't do it for me, but I thank you anyway."

He nodded and then turned to look back at me. "I did it for Charlie, for Billy and even for you. I'm sorry for how I was the last time I saw you," he told me, regret flashing in his black eyes.

I shut my mind against the memory of his angry words. "You had your reasons, I deserved it."

"No, you didn't. Maybe some of it, but not all. I was jealous and hurt. I took that out on you and I am sorry for that."

"It's okay, Jacob. I understood."

"I didn't."

"What do you mean?" I asked him, confused by his words.

He squinted against the rain as he looked up at the sky for a second. "I get it now. Why you did what you did. If I had the choice of forever with Dana and my kids…well, I'd probably choose it too. Maybe you didn't go about it the right way but who knows what the right way is anyway. I just wanted to tell you that I understand your choice now. And I'm glad you're happy." He held out his hand to me and I slipped mine into it without thinking twice. "You are, right?"

"I am, happier than I ever thought possible. I'm glad you're happy too. I always wanted the best for you, Jacob. I wasn't it."

He laughed and pulled me in for a quick hug, which I returned in surprise. "No, you weren't. You always knew that, it just took me awhile to come around to it myself." He released me from his tight grip and gave me a tap on the shoulder. "You better get going, before you turn my kids into wolves. Their mother would not be pleased."

I laughed and gave him a little wave. "Take care, Jacob."

"You too, Bells." I smiled at the use of my nickname again and started toward the trees. "Hey, Bells?" he called. I turned back and looked at him. "Give me a call now and then. Let me know how you all are doing okay?" I grinned at him and nodded. "See ya!" He grinned back and strode toward the hospital.

I took off then, feeling lighter than air at my interaction with Jacob and my father. His pending death was weighing heavily on me but I knew I had to just hold on to the gifts I'd received today. I got my father back and made peace with my former best friend. It was far more than I ever thought I'd get. I ran without seeing the forest around me, my body feeling the call of another, to the one person I needed to be with, the one place I truly had to be now.

I saw the light up ahead and knew that I was close. I increased my speed and burst out into the opening, to our meadow. There, leaning against a tree, was my Edward. His hair was wet from the rain and falling over onto his forehead. I ran up to him and brushed it aside and met his lips with mine. His arms tightened around me and all his love poured into the kiss. He pulled back and studied me closely. "Are you okay, love?"

"I am," I assured him. I knew he'd been worried about me for weeks, knowing the call was coming soon. "I'll tell you all about it on the way home, but everything went way better than I expected it to."

He smirked at me. "I thought it might have."

"Did Alice tell you?" I asked, curious as to how he knew.

"You smell like dog. I figured if you'd killed one, you would have told me, so I assumed that everything went well."

I laughed and smacked him on the arm, enjoying the loud noise that accompanied it. "Yes, it did." He wrapped me in his arms. I held him tightly and started to sob then, happiness and sadness bubbling up in me. I was a mess.

"Sweetheart, are you alright? I'm so sorry I let you go alone. I shouldn't have."

I shook my head and spoke into his neck. "No, I needed to. I'm just so sad that he's going to die but I'm so happy that I got to truly be with him again."

"I know, love. I'm sorry you had to say goodbye, again. I wish there was something I could do to give you more time together."

I pulled back and looked into his concerned golden eyes. "Edward, you need to know that I wouldn't change my choice, not now, not ever. I love you and we belong together."

A smile lit his face again and then the clouds parted and the sun did the rest, making him glow with happiness. "I love you, too." He traced my sun kissed face and slid his hand in mine and tugged me toward the path to the rental car. "Let's go home."

"Yes, let's," I told him. We started to walk out of the meadow but I stopped him and walked to the tree closest to us. I carved our initials there, just like he'd done so long ago at my house. This was our place and it would always be, even if we never returned. He smiled and carved a heart around the initials I'd placed there.

"Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I do," I told him. "I always do."

"I do, too." We linked hands and walked toward the future. The past would always be there, a happy memory, but we had lifetimes to look forward to.

**The End**

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**Follow-up A/N: And there it is. I cried writing it and rereading it and now I'm crying posting it. I hope you think this is a fitting ending for Bella and Edward. Their journey is just beginning but they got to revisit the past as well.**

**I'm clicking that complete button in a few minutes but I still have multiple outtakes to write. I'll post them under the outtakes and probably here as well, in order of how they would go in the story. I don't know the timing on when I'm writing them but I'll get to them as I can. If there are any you want to see, let me know via comment or PM and I'll add them to the list. Thus far I have: chapter 17 from Edward's POV (let me know if you want this, this is something I wanted to write for awhile but only if you guys want it), Alice/Bella/Renee sex conversation (you know you miss Renee, hehe), New York City New Year's trip for E&B, combined power lemon post Volturi face off and the Volturi awakening and Aro discovering his lack of power (this is an awesome request by the way, very excited about it Salma!) So still plenty to come! Let me know if there's anything else you would like and I'll do my best to get it you.**

**I've heard the sequel word tossed around several times in comments the last few weeks and I'm flattered that you guys want one. Right now, I can't say I have a plan to do one, I feel like I've left them in a good place, but you never know when inspiration could strike! I'm deep into Taste of Innocence now, my Smugward story, and about to start expanding my sports AH, First & Ten. I also have another AH that's just waiting to be written but I need to get the other two taken care of first. So I'm not going away anytime soon. Thanks to those of you who are reading my other stories as well, they're very different and I think it's really cool that some of you crossover with me into other genres. Always B&E though! **

**Okay, I've rambled a lot, so I'll stop now. Thank you, again, for reading. Those of you that write your own stories that I have yet to read, please remind me and I'll add them to my list. I want to support you all like you have me! You're the best and I adore you all. Thank you :)**


	47. Chapter 14 Outtake, CharlieTanya

**A/N Please don't hate me, this isn't a new outtake though many of you probably haven't read it. It's the request I had for a little Charlie/Tanya interaction at the wedding since she seemed to have a spark for him when she saw him the first time. It was fun to get into Chief Swan's head and I am posting again for good reason.**

**I've set up a second auction for Fandom Gives Back to include this story and First & Ten. I have many, many outtakes to write for this story and I'm about to get started but I figured it's for a good cause, why not let a bidder decide which I write first? I am ready to get ripping on them finally so I hope some of you will consider bidding. It's for Alex's Lemonade Stand and it's my first year as an author and I'm thrilled to participate. If you'd like to bid, it's at www(dot)thefandomgivesback(dot)com(slash)item(dot)php?id(equals)804 There's a link in my profile as well. **

**Thank you again for the response and I hope those that can will bid in the auctions! You'll be hearing more from me really soon!**

**Amy**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 14 Outtake

**Charlie POV**

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat as I watched my little girl speed off into the night with her husband. She wasn't really my little girl anymore and I didn't quite know how to deal with that. Lord knew I hadn't been the most attentive father but I was still the man in her life until Edward came along. I wanted to resent him for that but I could see that he loved her and would take care of her. I hadn't exactly been welcoming upon his return into her life but Bella believed in him and I knew better than to try to step between a Swan and their true love. I hadn't been much older than Bella when her mother came along and swept me off my feet.

Renee…I saw her laughing uproariously at something Emmett had said to her. She was still incredibly beautiful to me, over twenty years later. She still held a large piece of my heart, even though she'd moved on long ago. A Swan's love is forever.

I reached up to loosen my ridiculous bowtie. Now that Bella was gone and the pictures were officially done I could relax a little. Maybe I could sneak out before…

"Charlie Swan! Don't you dare even think about leaving! And what are you doing taking off your tie! Get down here and let me fix it for you." I froze like a deer caught in headlights. How did she know? She always seemed to know what I was going to do before I did it and she could make me feel guilty with nothing more than a frown on her little face. For such a tiny thing, she was positively terrifying.

I slowly turned and found her frowning up me, hands on her hips and her foot tapping insistently. "Look, Alice…"

And the finger started wagging. "Don't you look Alice me, Charlie! You are not leaving this wedding without having danced with me and Esme. I'm sure Renee would like a turn as well. There are plenty of other lovely ladies who want a turn with the handsome father of the bride. Now get down here so I can fix you!"

Handsome, humph. I had the feeling that if I attempted to defy her she would find a way to make me pay for it, so I knelt down and let her retie my bowtie with quick, efficient movements. Efficient, that was the perfect word for Alice. Of course there were other words that applied as well. Overbearing, bossy, scary… "Let's get this over with, then," I grumbled. I couldn't help it; I wanted to go home and take off this monkey suit, grab a beer and watch some SportsCenter. I'd done my time, got Bells down the aisle without a hitch, hadn't I? That in itself was a feat worthy of a reward.

Alice giggled. "Oh no, I'm not going to dance with you right away, you'll just try to leave right after."

"Come on, Alice! I'm not much of a dancer and I'm sure nobody wants to dance with me, can't I just…"

"I beg to differ," a familiar voice purred. How it was so familiar when I'd only heard it just today was beyond me but then again, the girl did make an impression. I looked to my right and took in the vision that was standing barely a foot away. Tanya, Edward's cousin. What was it with their family? None of them were blood related but they were all ridiculously good looking. Her strawberry blond hair curled around her beautiful face and fell down to her lovely pale shoulders, which were mostly exposed in the yellow sundress she wore. Her lips turned up in an inviting smile that I was responding to despite myself. She was barely older than my daughter for crying out loud.

"Ttttanya." Where in the hell had that stutter come from? Her smile widened when she heard my juvenile reaction to her. Girls didn't look like that when I was her age, though. Renee had been beautiful but Tanya's beauty was indescribable.

I was vaguely aware of Alice muttering something that sounded like "Gross" as she scurried back to the rest of her family. What was that about? I felt a tug on my jacket and turned my attention back to Tanya.

"So?" she asked. Her voice was pure sex and I felt my body responding as if we were alone rather than on a huge lawn with way too many people. Speaking of all of those people, where were they in my time of need? My eyes searched in vain for some sort of escape.

"Uh, so what?" I needed a drink, but even the beer here was fancier than my usual brand. I was so out of place in the Cullen's world. How did Bella fit in so easily?

"So do I get the honor of dancing with the father of the bride?" She looked up with me those beautiful golden eyes and I was helpless to say no. Not that I really minded pulling her into my arms but I wasn't comfortable with my reaction to her already, what would it be like when I was actually touching her?

"Well, I have to warn you that I really don't dance. I could cause you permanent injury." She was so out of my league it was ridiculous, even without our rather obvious age difference. I tried to picture her putting a worm on a fishing hook and the image was so hilarious that I felt my lips twitch. Tanya didn't miss the movement and she reached up and tapped a cool finger on my mouth.

"What's so funny?" she cocked her head to the side and my eyes were drawn to the graceful curve of her long white neck. I felt my lips twitch below her finger and it was almost as if I was kissing it. Her eyes appeared to darken for a second but it must have been a trick of the night, they were still that stunning golden color when I focused on them again a second later.

Her finger moved slowly, actually catching on my bottom lip before it traveled along my jaw line. Goosebumps followed in her wake and I wasn't sure if it was from her unnaturally cold temperature on a warm summer night or the fact that I wanted her the way I hadn't wanted a woman in a long time, maybe ever. She eyed me expectantly and I realized she was waiting for an answer to her question.

"Uh, I was just imagining you fishing," I blurted. Dear God, had I really told her that? Women like Tanya didn't want to hear about guy's fantasizing about them in flannel and jeans with a squirming worm in their hands. She'd leave me now. Maybe that was for the best, because if she got me on the dance floor she'd surely be aware of my obvious attraction to her.

Her brow wrinkled in confusion. "Fishing?"

"Yes?" Why did it come out like a question? What was wrong with me? I felt heat rising in my cheeks. Hopefully it was dark enough that she couldn't see me blushing.

"What's so funny about that?"

Great, now I was stuck answering that particular question. How to do it without insulting her? "You just aren't the type of girl to get dirty like that." Holy crap, what had I just said?

Tanya let out the most exquisite laugh I'd ever heard, it was like a bell ringing. "I like to get dirty now and then, Charlie Swan." All the blood rushed out of my head, which was a good thing as I'm sure I was as red as a tomato, and raced to another body part entirely, which was not a good thing because I was hard as a rock. Her pointer finger moved back over my lip, tracing my entire mouth and smoothing over my moustache. I stood perfectly still. I couldn't have moved away from her if my life depended on it.

Her tongue slowly moved over her lips, leaving them wet and shiny. I wanted to taste those lips more than I wanted the beer waiting for me at home.

"Perhaps you could take me for a ride before I leave and I can show you just how dirty I'm willing to get," her voice was a purr and combined with her touch had shivers moving up and down my spine. I had never reacted so strongly to a woman before. Wait a minute, what did she just say? Surely she didn't mean…

"Wh…what?"

She smiled seductively and leaned closer to me. "You have a boat, yes? Perhaps you could take me out on it and show me how to fish?" I actually felt my body deflate at her words. Of course she'd been talking about a boat ride. How I could have thought it was anything else was beyond me. I was just boring old Charlie Swan, chief of police in a Podunk down, old enough to have a daughter her age.

"Right, well sure, if you want to." I could deal with having her alone on a boat for hours on end. Billy was NOT invited.

"I would love to take a ride with you." Why did every word out of her mouth sound sexual? It was just me, being a dirty old man, no doubt. Poor girl, she had no idea what she was doing to me. It was best if I got away from her before I did something stupid like to try to kiss those perfect wet, shiny lips that almost seemed to be calling me.

"Maybe next time you visit. I have work tomorrow." There, that got me away from temptation. I started to edge away but she stepped closer to me and put her hand on my arm. It felt like every nerve ending in my body was centered at her touch.

"Where are you going? I thought you were going to dance with me?" her lip poked out in the prettiest pout that ever existed. I needed to stop looking at her mouth. I directed my gaze to the top of her head but that wasn't much better. I wanted to bury my hands in those pretty strawberry blond curls, yank the pins out of her hair and let it fall down onto those bare shoulders. I would brush it out of the way with my mouth and tickle her with my moustache and…

"Charlie?" I jerked myself out of the pointless fantasy that had succeeded in getting me all worked up again.

"I'm sorry, Tanya, I really need to be getting home."

She giggled. "Oh no, I'm not going to let you leave this early," she giggled. "Alice wouldn't like it either. This is a party, you know. Don't you like parties?" She eyed me contemplatively for a moment. "No, you seem more like a one on one sort of person, yes?" I wanted to be one on one with her, on my boat, in my house, in the back of my cruiser. Dammit, Charlie, get it together.

"Well, yeah, I'm not very social I guess. I'm not very good at talking to people." Truer words had never been spoken.

"There are much better things to do one on one than talking." There was that smile again, that feline grin. She was flirting with me, she had to be! What do I do?

"I can think of a few." Where had that come from?

"Like what?" Her eyes glinted with humor and something else.

Time to save face. I am not going to hit on a girl young enough to be my daughter. "Fishing."

She laughed again and I felt the sound of it through my body, down to my uncomfortably smashed toes in the stupid shoes Alice had forced me into. "Yes, exactly, fishing." There, crisis averted. "Also dancing." Her hand moved off my arm and I felt suddenly bereft until her fingers found mine as she took my hand and led me to the dancing area. I tried to tug my hand away but she was surprisingly strong for such a delicate woman.

Her hands moved up my arms and she laced her fingers behind my neck. The goose bumps appeared instantly again and I shifted, uncomfortable with my body's reaction below the belt. She moved closer to me, her hips swaying seductively as a new song broke out. I didn't know what it was but it was an incredibly soulful, sexy woman's voice crooning about waiting for her man to come and turn her on. My heart was pounding of my chest and I was breaking out into a sweat. I was having a heart attack, no doubt about it. My senses were on overload.

"Charlie," she purred, her lips coming close to my ear and actually brushing against my earlobe. "You need to put your hands on my waist." I stood there, completely incapable of moving. Her laugh tinkled out again and she let go of my neck and pulled back. I took a deep breath, relieved that she was giving up on me.

Except she wasn't. She took my hands and placed them on her waist, my finger splayed over her hips. They were remarkably well toned. I could feel how hard her muscles were beneath her thin, cotton dress. She moved back toward me and wound her fingers behind my neck yet again. Her body leaned against mine and I choked out a gasp as her lovely breasts pressed into my chest. My hands involuntarily tightened on her hips as I pulled her even closer.

The way she moved underneath my hands was incredible; it was the closest thing to sex I'd ever experienced on a dance floor. She gasped as she brushed against my now obvious arousal. I tried to pull back but her arms held me in place. She was a velvet vice that I truly didn't want to escape if I was honest about it. Her fingers moved into my hair and began tugging on the ends. I groaned as I felt her thigh brush my erection again. Her body was cool, even through my monkey suit, but I was anything but cold. I felt like I was on fire.

"You are having fun, yes?" She had a hint of an accent I couldn't place but it was the sexiest voice I'd ever heard so who cared where she was from? Her lips brushed against my earlobe again and I was sure I was going to explode right in front of everyone. How humiliating. Thank God Bella wasn't here to witness her old man acting like a virgin on prom night.

"I think that's pretty obvious." Where was my filter? See, this is why I rarely talked. It always got me in trouble.

"It would be_ hard_ not to notice," there was that purr again, right next to my ear. I had to fight off the urge to throw her to the ground and yank off her dress, wedding be damned. I had to get out of here. I had to get her to get out of here with me.

I opened my mouth to say something that was probably going to end up being highly inappropriate. "May I cut in?" Both our heads turned to see Alice smiling sweetly up at us, completely oblivious to what she was interrupting. Thank God for that. I didn't need my daughter's best friend thinking I was a pervert.

I breathed a sigh of relief and stepped back. Tanya let me this time, though she was glaring at Alice with open hostility. She turned back to me and her face melted into an irresistible smile. "Thank you for the dance, Charlie. Next time I come to town we will get together for that one on one time, yes?" I nodded dumbly as she pressed cool lips to my cheek for a few completely amazing seconds and walked away, glancing back over her shoulder with smoldering eyes. They looked black to me again. Those twinkle lights were clearly playing havoc on my sight.

Alice cleared her throat and I reluctantly tore my eyes away from Tanya. She muttered something I couldn't hear and then smiled brightly at me. "Shall we?"

"I guess," I answered, relieved that Alice's presence had been like having a bucket of ice water tossed on me. She put her little hand in mine and put her other on my shoulder. I put my hand on her waist and we danced in a far more appropriate way. It was both a relief and a disappointment not to have Tanya in my arms again.

"Are you having fun?" I nearly choked at Alice's question but she definitely didn't mean it the way Tanya had.

"Yes. Your cousin is something else." Why had I said that? I didn't want to talk about Tanya with Alice. She was practically my daughter.

"She's something alright," Alice grumbled. I didn't know what she meant by that and I didn't want to know. I needed to finish this dance and then get to the peace and sanity of my home. Women were confusing.


	48. Chapter 22 Outtake, Belly button ring

**A/N This is the belly button ring reveal that I posted right after chapter 22. I wanted to upload in order because I have a brand new outtake I'll be posting right after. Hope you like!**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 22 Outtake

APOV

I waited a full fifteen minutes after Edward and Bella left to call the family together. I had to wait until Edward was out of hearing range, even though waiting was hardly my best activity. I kept dancing around the room, buzzing with excitement. Jasper tried to get me to tell him what in the world I was so jazzed about but I refused to do it. I can keep secrets! It's hard for me but I do it when I have to. Bella had asked and I had done so. I really deserved some kind of award for best sister in the world.

"Esme, Carlisle, Emmett & Rose, get your booties in here!" I skipped over to the bags I had stashed in my dresser drawer as everyone hurried into the room.

"Alice, what's the matter? Did you see something? Is there going to be a problem with tomorrow?" Esme looked petrified as she gripped my arm tightly. "Bella will be alright, won't she?"

Bella? What was she talking about? Oh! "Oh, Esme, everything is still fine! I'm sorry; I didn't mean to worry you. I'm just so excited!"

Rose rolled her eyes. "Excited that we're taking a life tomorrow. Lovely."

I scowled at her. "That is not what I'm excited about, although I am excited about Bella becoming one of us tomorrow. I love her and want her to be my sister forever. There's nothing wrong with that." Rose crossed her arms and huffed but said nothing more. Good. I didn't need her ruining my news.

Carlisle cleared his throat, recapturing my attention. "Well if everything is going to be fine with Bella, what is it you called us all in here for?"

"To show you what we got today!"

It was Emmett's turn for the eye roll. "Really Alice? You called us in here to see what you bought today? Since when have we ever cared about that?"

"Since now, although if you're going to be a jerk about it I should just not tell you."

He shrugged. "Okay." He started to leave the room. Dammit, he was ruining my surprise.

"Wait, Emmett! I swear it's something you want to see, to know, to see and know!" He halted and raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm waiting. This better be good." Rather than say anything, I dumped the contents of the bags on my light pink comforter. Jewelry spilled everywhere. "Is that all? I already know Bella got her ears pierced, Edward noticed downstairs and I saw then. Big deal."

"She what?" Rose's voice came out in an indignant screech. She marched over to my bed, her blond hair flying, as she sorted through the pretty little earrings I'd picked out for Bella. "That just figures. It's not enough to become one of us; she has to be special, doesn't she? Always having to stand out, that's _our_ Bella!" I yanked the butterfly earrings out of her hand, afraid that she was going to destroy them. From the flashes I was getting, she was thinking about it.

"Rose, the last thing Bella has ever wanted to do was stand out. She hates attention. She's wanted pierced ears since she was a little kid but was too afraid to get them. She's not afraid anymore, knowing what she has ahead of her tomorrow. It was now or never and she chose now. It's not some scheme she has going to make her different from the rest of us. She longs to be just like us." She let her jealousy color everything that Bella did, it was insane.

My Jazz, correctly reading the fact that Rosalie and I were about to get into it in a major way, decided to step in. I felt calm wash over me and sent him a smile of thanks. Fighting with Rosalie was not something I really felt like doing right now. His talent worked; whatever words Rose had been about to spew died on her lips.

Carlisle looked relieved that calm now prevailed. "Well, Alice, it's nice that Bella got her ears pierced and that you got her such pretty earrings to wear. I'm sure she's pleased." I sighed. Clearly he didn't get it. I'd have to spell it out for them.

"Notice this pile of jewelry? What do you see here?" Everyone's eyes shifted to where I'd emptied the second bag. At first glance, it looked like more earrings but even clueless vampires should be able to pick up on the fact that…

"There's only one of each earring there. Why would you get her one earring? Bella's not like Madonna for crying out loud." Emmett shook his head at me, thinking that I was going to try to get Bella to try out some strange style.

I sighed again. They were so blind. No wonder they always needed me to guide them. "They're not earrings."

Emmett's booming laugh shook the room. "What, is it a nose ring? I don't see Bella dangling junk from her nose. How would you do that anyway? These ones that hang down would get in the way, aren't they supposed to be hoops?" He held up the handcuff belly button ring to his nose. "Yeah it hangs down too far. What is this for, Alice?"

I hopped up on my bed to snatch the handcuffs from him. "Get the belly button ring away from your nose, Toro!" I screeched. I couldn't help it; I didn't want him sullying Bella's jewelry.

The whole room was silent at my declaration, nobody speaking or even moving a muscle. I waited, knowing what was coming. Jasper reached out and ran a finger down my arm, causing me to shiver in excitement. "Did you say belly button ring?" His voice sounded a little shaky. I grinned and nodded. Finally!

Emmett's mouth opened and closed a few times. He swallowed and tried again. "Bella…um…she got one? I mean, she's pierced? Down there? I mean, her belly?" I giggled and nodded again. He looked like a little kid on Christmas morning that had given a gift that he no idea what to do with. His expression showed excitement and nerves all at the same time. "But she's…Bella…she's my sister?"

"Yes, she's still your sister, Emmett. Nothing's changed, except that she has a pierced bellybutton." He choked out a half laugh/sob combination that cracked me up.

"Um, how does it look?"

Rosalie smacked him upside the head. "What do you care how it looks? Are you into her now, you want her just because she can wear a belly button ring?"

"Ow, Rosie! Of course I don't want her now, she's my sister. It's just…hot. Okay?"

She glared at him and stormed out of the room. Despite my vision, I fully expected Emmett to follow her but he didn't, instead keeping his eyes on the pile of belly button rings lying on my bed. "So…"

"So what, Em?"

"So, how does it look?" Esme and Carlisle gaped at Emmett, as shocked as I was that he hadn't run to soothe Rosalie this time.

I felt a little tingly and glanced over at Jasper, who wasn't saying anything but was running his finger along the dangly hearts belly button ring. He looked up at me and I gasped at the look on his face, my body tightening in awareness as I took in the desire in his golden eyes. "Um, what?"

"I said, how does it look? Is it sexy?" I glanced at Jazz again as I felt lust curling in my stomach. He was doing that. He was turned on. I knew he would be, of course, but seeing it in my mind was way different than feeling it.

I kept my eyes on my husband as I answered Emmett. "It's very sexy. Her concave stomach really sets it off beautifully, it lies perfectly."

Emmett choked again. "Yes, I'm sure it does." He walked over to the bed and looked more closely at the rings collected there. His laugh boomed out again, momentarily breaking the haze of desire in the room. "Is that a key?"

I looked away from Jasper and giggled again. "Yes, I had to get it for her when I saw it."

"Edward will die! I can't wait until she wears that one, let the key commentary begin!" Everyone joined us in our laughter then, Carlisle and Esme looking far more comfortable now that the sexual tension had diminished. "So, what's she wearing now?"

I smiled, knowing she was going to bring my brother to his knees when he saw it. "A music note."

"Oh man, that's going to slay him. He doesn't know, right?"

I giggled. "No, he'll find out when they get home."

Emmett's gaze burned into me and I felt that lust starting to come from my husband again. "How will he find out?"

"What?" How could I concentrate when my Jazz was getting me all excited? I knew Bella's news would go over well but I didn't really know it would be this good.

"I said how will he find out?"

I watched Jasper as I answered. "He'll find out when he takes off her dress. Not right away though, he kisses her neck and back for awhile so he doesn't notice right away." Emmett gripped my bedpost and I heard a grinding sound as he broke the wood. I should be mad, I really should but Jasper's lust spiked at my answer and all I could think about was attacking him.

"And his reaction?" Emmett's voice was lower, more guttural than usual. Dammit, what with Emmett and all the questions? I just wanted to be alone with my husband. Leave already!

"He loves it, of course." I'd had it with his presence so I continued on. "He's going to play with it all night, running his fingers over it, kissing it; licking it…you get the general idea." That did it. Jasper's lust was out of control now; I felt it wash over me and spread throughout the room.

I heard Esme and Carlisle both gasp, his hands winding around her waist tightly. Emmett growled and raced from the room, still holding a piece of my bedpost. Carlisle and Esme both followed seconds later and I was left alone with Jasper, finally. His eyes raked over me. "So I guess you like the belly button ring too?"

"I won't deny that it's extremely alluring. So is my wife."

My Jazz was a man of few words but he always said the right ones. I threw myself across the room and tackled him to the floor, shredding clothes and giggling as I heard crashing sounds throughout the house. It seemed that Jasper's lust had infected everyone; even Rosalie was affected despite being angry. "Thank God for belly button rings." Jasper laughed and kissed me. I had a quick passing thought that maybe I should drag Bella out for a tattoo but Jasper entered me and I forgot everything but him.


	49. Chapter 27 Outtake, Sex talk

**A/N Here's the long awaited sex talk between Bella, Alice & Renee! I hope you guys enjoy. It's brand new and hasn't yet been seen and I had a complete blast with it. A word of warning, Renee is involved so you know that means it's slightly, okay _very_ inappropriate. So much fun! **

**Fandom Gives Back is still active for another 2 days. Won't you join Daisy in bidding on me? Thanks for that Daisy! I feel loved! **

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 27 Outtake

BPOV

"Alice, I really don't think this is a good idea," I said for the hundredth time since she told me what we were going to do. And for the hundredth time, she completely ignored me as she pushed her way through the brush and brought us into the clearing of my recent doll massacre. I saw something glinting over near the tree that Emmett has used as his drop zone and shuddered when I realized it was a missing eye. My brother was completely insane.

Alice skipped over to a large boulder, her red sundress billowing in the breeze, and dropped on it gracefully, grinning at me as she patted the spot next to her. I sat next to her gingerly, afraid of moving too quickly and splitting the rock in two. It would not be the first time. "Alice…"

She laughed and put her tiny hand over my mouth and pinched my lips shut. I growled beneath her touch but didn't give in to the urge I had to bite her. That would have been a bit uncalled for. But fun. "Don't even think about it," she warned and I sighed and dropped the idea. She giggled and removed her fingers from my lips. "Do you really want to have this discussion again?"she asked. Then she sighed as her vision clearly showed her that I did. "Fine, have your say then."

"What a husband and wife do in the privacy of their bedroom…"

Alice cut me off with a snort of laughter and a derisive "Ha! Bedroom? Try the forest in France, the bathtub, the shower, the kitchen, the living room, the library, the garage, the new car, a tree, several boulders, probably every patch of grass in this forest…you can hardly claim that you and Edward are keeping it in the privacy of your bedroom."

I opened my mouth and closed it again. What could I say? Every word of it was true but I was completely mortified that she knew all that. That she'd seen all that. Could I touch him again knowing that she would see it before I did it? A quick flash of Edward's magnificent pale chest made my stomach flutter and I knew the answer was yes. Even if Alice was watching live and in person, I would probably attack him. Still, it was embarrassing. And now she wanted…

"Okay, yes, so we've done things a lot of places. And I don't have the words to tell you how very sorry I am that you know every one of them. How do you even live with your power? I couldn't stand it." It was so invasive.

Alice just shrugged. "It can be a blessing and a curse. If I didn't have it, though, you probably wouldn't be here because brother dear never would have believed that he could be with you without killing you. So you can thank me anytime and stop your complaining." She said all this with a smile so I knew she wasn't irritated but I felt a little guilty anyway.

"Thank you, Alice. I know we wouldn't be here without you." She grinned even bigger and threw her arms around me with her typical exuberance.

"I love you, Bella." I hugged her back and repeated the sentiment. She really was the best sister I could ever ask for, even if she was a pushy know-it-all.

"But just because you see everything we do doesn't mean I need to discuss it with my mother," I pointed out, which I thought was quite reasonable. Renee wasn't a vampire and she wasn't here so she wasn't privy to my sex life. That's the way it should be. I already knew way too much about hers, wasn't that enough mother/daughter bonding?

Alice shook her head and let out a weary sigh. "Bella, Bella, Bella. You know your mother better than I do, certainly, but I know darn well that she discussed sex with you all the time growing up." Good Lord, could the ground open up and swallow me whole? I didn't want to remember that, certainly not for all eternity and I had put it out of my mind for the most part, my wedding shower aside. I shuddered at that memory and all the others that came flowing back. Renee discussing what positions felt best, when I was fifteen mind you, and telling me all about the hands of one of her exes and…No…I wasn't going there again.

"So what?" I hissed, annoyed that she'd brought it all back to me.

"So, she made it pretty clear on your birthday that she'd like to hear a little about you and Edward." I opened my mouth and Alice held her hand up again. "I'm not saying you have to tell her specifics but I think it would mean a lot to her if you let her in a little. She's been more or less shut out of your life since you moved to Forks and you two were much closer than most mothers and daughters; you're friends too. It makes her sad that she doesn't know you as well even though she's thankful you've found your happiness."

"How do you know all that? Did Jasper get a read on her emotions? Did Edward read her mind?" That was a scary thought. God only knew what my mother's imagination could do to him; scar him permanently maybe.

"I talked to her, you silly girl." Alice laughed again, her giggles sounding like bells across the clearing. "She loves you and she wants you to move on with your life but she feels like she's losing you." Her face sobered and she took my hand. "And the truth of the matter is she will be losing you very soon. This, something so small when you think about it, will give her something to hold on to when she thinks you're gone. She'll know you were blissfully happy when you died. It'll give her comfort in time."

And that right there was why I was going to do it. I felt the guilt threatening to drown me again and Alice must have seen it in my face because she hugged me to her and squeezed me tightly. The strength in that tiny body still surprised me, even though I had even more than she did now. She just looked like such a fragile thing but Alice was one of the strongest people I knew, even without the vampirism.

"You're right," I murmured against her spiky hair. "I may hate it but I know she'll love it and really that's all that matters." What was a few minutes of humiliation compared to giving my mother some piece of mind? I was being ridiculous. "You better dial." I was still afraid of cell phones from my earlier training with Emmett. Just because I'd managed to salvage one doll didn't mean I was ready to handle delicate electronic devices yet. Alice grinned and opened her phone and hit speed dial seven. I didn't know how to feel about the fact that my mother was on her speed dial.

The phone barely rang once before Renee snatched it up with a breathy sounding, "_Hello?"_

I glanced at Alice and she shrugged. Nothing like actually telling my mother I'd be calling. "Hi, Mom, how are you?"

Renee laughed. _"I'm great, baby. How are you?" _

"I'm good, thanks." My mother laughed again and I shifted uncomfortably next to Alice. I didn't like the subtext to this conversation already.

There was a moment of silence as I wondered how in the heck I was even supposed to start this conversation. Hey, Mom, want to hear about Edward devirginizing me? Even for a conversation with Renee, that seemed a bit much.

"So, Bella, your mother and I were talking and we just wanted to see if you had any questions about sex, now that you have some experience with the subject," Alice started. I didn't know if I should be grateful to her for breaking the silence or if I should kick her off the rock and send her flying out of the clearing. It was a close call but I was leaning towards the latter.

"_Yes, Bella honey. Now I know you had that little interlude in the forest the other day…" _I was going to kill Emmett, I swear to God. _"And that's great but I just wanted to make sure you didn't have any concerns or questions. I know neither of you had any experience whatsoever, even though I still can't imagine how that boy kept his hands off you for two years. Really, Bella, it's completely abnormal. Are you sure there's nothing wrong with him?"_ Alice looked away from me and I saw her shoulders shaking so I knew she was laughing. Yes, punting her over the trees was looking like a much better idea all the time.

"Mom, there is _nothing_ wrong with Edward. I already told you that he just wanted to do the right thing by me." I cringed at how very old fashioned that sounded but that was my husband to a T.

"What century is the boy from?" Renee demanded. Alice was holding onto the rock for dear life as she trembled with silent laughter. I really wanted to send her tumbling off it but I knew my mother would hear and wonder what the heck was going on. I settled for glaring at her back. Maybe the heat of my gaze would melt a hole in her. Emmett would love it if that was my power, not that I wanted to please him. He'd started this ball rolling on this with his woods revelation.

"He's from the 20th century," I muttered, which was technically true. 1901 was still the 20th century. Take that, Mom. "Are you seriously offended that he actually wanted to marry me before we slept together? Most mothers would be thankful."

"_I'm not most mothers,"_ Renee informed me haughtily. I rolled my eyes because that was the understatement of the century; the 20th and the 21st century and all the rest of them for that matter. _"I'm just concerned for my daughter's welfare, you know. Sex is an important part of a relationship. It's not the only part but It is a major one and it's important that you're meeting each other's needs."_

I sighed and started massaging my temples. I thought it was impossible for vampires to get headaches but clearly no vampire had ever dealt with Renee Dwyer before. "I can assure you he is meeting all my needs, mother."

"_Good, then he listened,"_ she said, sounding rather smug. I wondered, not for the first time, just what she'd said to Edward during our wedding. I wanted to know but at the same time I didn't because I knew it would be even more mortifying than this conversation was. _"And what about his needs? Are they being met?" _

What kind of question was that? Of course they were. I didn't even know what she meant by that. "Uh, yes?" My answer came out sounding more like a question and I cringed because I knew I'd just opened the floodgates. Alice bounced up and down on the rock next to me and rubbed her hands together in glee. This would not be good.

"_Oh, Bella! Surely you don't let him do all the work and just lay there, do you? Just because a guy reaches orgasm doesn't mean you've fulfilled all his needs. Have you ever given him oral sex?" _ Kill me now. I didn't care if I was dead, I needed to be dead again.

I didn't answer and Renee took that as a blanket denial. _"Bella! I know that he's taking care of you that way…" _Wait, she did? How did she know that? Dear God, what had they talked about? "_And you really need to return the favor. I promise you, it will be his absolute favorite thing. Most guys like it more than sex, I find. Now if you need some guidance, just remember to always work your tongue at the same time as you…" _It just got worse and worse. Alice was having convulsions from trying not laugh out loud and if I could blush I would no doubt be a new shade of red that had never yet been discovered.

"Mom!" I could not let go on. I did not want to hear about tongue technique from my mother or anyone else for that matter. The thing that bothered me was; she was right about Edward doing all the work. That made sense when I was human but now that I wasn't and he couldn't hurt me, we could be more adventurous and I could even…well…I could do that.

"_What, baby? I'm just trying to make sure you keep your man satisfied. I can tell you that neither Phil or Charlie ever had a complaint…"_

"Ugh! No more sex stories about you and Dad!" I shouted, not even trying to keep my voice down. I was not going to live through that horror again.

"_Bella, I'm just trying to make sure that you know how to please Edward. Your sex life will get stale if you don't try new things. Especially that thing. He'll love it, I swear. Now if you take your tongue and swirl it around…" _

"I thought you wanted to hear about sex in the rain in Paris," I blurted, desperate to stop her from giving me anymore information. If I had to share my own sex stories in order to not hear about her and Charlie, so be it. It's a good thing I couldn't sleep anymore; this conversation would give me nightmares for weeks, maybe years.

"_Well,"_ my mother purred. _ "I most certainly do. It sounds very romantic."_

There was something about the way she said romantic that made me tense up, like she was being judgmental; like Edward and I weren't capable of anything more. That annoyed me. "It was romantic, but it was also sexy," I replied, my tone conveying my irritation.

"_Sexy is good. Go on,"_ Renee encouraged. I bit back a growl but complied.

"We were walking down the street, looking for a café to get some dinner and suddenly the skies opened up and it was pouring rain before we had time to get anywhere." Alice grinned next to me, thrilled with her little part in that scenario, not telling us that it would rain so we'd have an umbrella with us. I wasn't sorry about that at all though and I answered her grin with one of my own.

"We were soaked in seconds and Edward looked at me…" I broke off, lost in the memory of those hungry golden eyes devouring me in the middle of the street. "He looked at me like I was something to eat." Alice tittered and nudged my shoulder with hers and I grinned again, remembering Mike Newton's astute words outside gym class. If he only knew.

"_Hmmm,"_ my mother murmured, offering nothing more, thankfully.

"He stared at me and even though the rain was cold I felt hot, you know?" I was back in that moment, recalling it with perfect clarity. I'd never forget it and I was grateful for that.

"_I do know,"_ Renee responded, sounding a little excited. Gross.

"I don't know how long we stood there, just looking at one another, but then he took my hand and pulled me off the street and we went into some woods and he leaned me against a tree and took off my shirt and bra, but he kept his clothes on." The faster I talked, the faster it would be over. Plus, it was a good memory and if I could forget my mother was on the other end of the line then maybe this conversation wouldn't re-kill me. Maybe.

"Then he saw this raindrop on my nose and it fell down my lips and the rest of my body and he told me was going to follow the drop with his tongue and he, uh, did." That was as much of that as I was revealing. Renee had a good imagination, she could use it. I heard an interested hum on the other of the line. So mortifying.

"After he traced the entire path, he got undressed and took me against the tree." That was as much as she was getting.

"_He sounds like a very good lover,"_ my mother said. I sighed but said nothing else. What could I say? He was and even though I had nothing to compare it to, I knew he was better than most. He was made for me and I for him. _"Now you just need to work on his needs and then you'll be all set." _Please, not that again. Anything but that.

"I will, mom," I agreed quickly. It wasn't that I didn't want to please him the same way he did me; I'd just never done anything like that before. Not that he had before me either though and he was incredibly good at it. Maybe I'd be the same.

"_Seriously, Bella. Don't worry; I'm not going to go into technique again although God knows you could really use my advice there. I'm telling you that I can bring a man to his knees in just a matter of seconds…"_

"Mom!" my voice held a warning.

"_Alright. I'm just saying, next time something like that happens, why don't you drag him into the woods and push him up against the tree and follow the raindrop? I promise you that he'll thank you for it." _That actually wasn't a bad idea and the visual made me feel a little ache inside. I'd been away from Edward for too long already and I missed him. Plus, all this talk about our spontaneous sex in Paris made me need him as well.

"I'll do that," I promised.

"_I'm glad, baby. I just want you to be happy." _I knew that and as exasperating and inappropriate as she could be, she was still my mother and I loved her, even if she was crazy.

"I know, Mom and I am; happier than I ever thought possible."

She breathed a sigh of relief. _"Good. Now, I won't badger you about sex anymore but just know that I am here if you have any questions."_

"I know, thank you."

"_And don't forget to take your pill. I wasn't kidding about that grandmother thing. I'm not ready."_ She sounded stern and I finally laughed at this insane conversation.

"I know, Mom. Don't worry. Neither are we." We would never be, but I was okay with that. I had what I wanted.

"_Okay, baby, I'm going to let you go but call me soon. I love you."_

"Love you too, Mom." She hung up and Alice flipped her phone closed and finally let loose the laughter she'd been holding back for the entire conversation. I scowled at her for a few seconds but then joined her in her laughter.

"Hey, Alice?" I asked, when we finally calmed down several minutes later.

She rested her head on my shoulder. "Yes, Bella?"

"When's it going to rain next?" She started giggling again.

"I'll let you know," she assured me between laughs.

"Good."


	50. Chapter 32 Outtake, Alice's Phone Call

**A/N This is not a new outtake, it was posted under outtakes awhile ago but I'm uploading these in order. There is a new outtake for Chapter 38 coming tomorrow morning, the trip to New York City. This is just to keep everything in order though some of you may not have read it before. There are 3 of these, surrounding Bella's "death" and the funeral.**

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 32 Outtake

APOV

I paced the floor, waiting for the official call from the Coast Guard. Via my calculations, they'd be calling Carlisle in approximately 45 seconds. It was entirely too much and at the same time not enough time, for I knew what came after and it made me sick to finally be facing it. All along it was coming to this but it was easy to get caught up in the excitement of having a sister, of having Bella truly be one of us, having a best friend forever. It had always been hanging over us, the dark cloud tainting the beauty of a peaceful blue sky.

Jasper put a hand out and stilled my nervous pacing. "Alice, you don't have to be the one…"

I interrupted him before he could tell me that Carlisle could make the call. I knew he could and he probably would be better at it than I was. He was a doctor and he'd had to deliver more than his share of bad news over the past few centuries. But this was Charlie. This was for Bella. It had to be me. "Yes, Jazz, I do." I pled with my eyes for him to understand me. As always, he did, pulling me into his arms as the quiet was pierced by the chirp of Carlisle's phone.

"Carlisle Cullen," he answered crisply. We could hear the man on the phone informing him that they'd found the wreckage of Bella & Edward's boat and had started a search of the sight.

"My family and I will head over immediately. We want to be there when…if you find them." Carlisle's voice was calm but his eyes were stormy, almost as if he believed that his children were lost at sea. I suppose in a way they were.

He listened for a moment as the man mentioned calling Bella's parents but Carlisle interrupted him. "We'll go ahead and make the call and make arrangements for them. Bella's their only child and I think it might be easier coming from someone they know." Like this could ever be easy.

"Thank you, we'll meet you at the dock then." Carlisle hung up and closed his eyes. "I truly hate this." It was the first time he'd ever had to deal with someone's family after their change. Edward's parents had been dead, Esme had been alone, Rosalie's family was known to him but they were hardly what you'd call friendly and nobody knew Emmett's parents. This was different. We all knew and liked Charlie and Renee.

Esme put a bolstering hand on his shoulder and he reached up and grabbed it with his own. "It'll be okay, Carlisle. She belongs with us."

He nodded. "I know she does but I hate that we have to lie to Charlie. No father should ever have to go through this."

"I'm not sure why you care so much, Bella clearly doesn't." Rosalie swept into the room with a scowl on her face.

"Rose," Carlisle's tone was a warning one but as usual Rosalie wasn't about to be stopped.

"How anyone could knowingly do that to someone they supposedly love is beyond me! And every single one of you support her! Look at the damage you're about to cause." She glared at each of us in turn. "I won't be a party to it. I'm not going to Maine and I'm not going to the fake funeral."

Carlisle strode over to her. "You will go to Maine. You will help this family keep up appearances. We'll make up an excuse for you not to attend the funeral but you will be there with us when we get the news about your brother and sister-in-law. They would do it for you, despite the ill will you bear them."

"But…"

"No buts, Rosalie. Edward has done a lot for you over the years and you will do this for him now. You don't have to like it. This family supports one another, no matter what. Do you understand me?" He was openly glowering down at her and Rose was gaping at him in surprise but she nodded mutely. "Good. If you think this is easy for Bella, for any of us, you are sorely mistaken." He rubbed his eyes, looking almost tired in that moment.

He reached hesitantly for his cell phone but I stopped him. "Carlisle, I'm going to do it."

"Alice, are you sure? Giving someone news like this is very difficult and you…"

"I know him best, Carlisle. I've spent more time with him than you all have and this just feels like something I should do."

He watched me intently and then acquiesced, handing me his phone. "It makes sense. I'll stay right here if you need me to take over."

It didn't matter that I knew exactly how it was going to play out thanks to my visions. No matter how many times I saw it, I really couldn't prepare myself for the emotions that flooded me as I highlighted Charlie's name and hit dial on the phone.

Charlie answered his phone with a gruff "Hello" that nearly made me smile. I knew he'd just gotten home from work and he wanted to sit down with a beer to watch basketball on TV.

"Charlie, it's Alice."

In any other situation I would have laughed at the wariness that came into his tone. "Alice, I got the tux cleaned, I swear." What a liar he was. I knew the jacket, complete with a gravy stain, was balled up in the bottom of his closet. Charlie had no respect for couture. Of course, it wasn't like I could get worked up over his lie. I was the bigger liar here anyway. What harm did his stained Armani tuxedo do? I was about to rip his life to pieces.

"I'm not calling about your tuxedo, Charlie."

"Oh, good!" I winced at the relief that filled his tone. "What's going on then? Did you want to talk about Christmas? Are you all coming with Bella and Edward? We can always do the big dinner at your house, since you have more room." I winced. This Christmas was not going to be a good one for Charlie. My heart broke more for him with every word he said.

"Charlie, I'm not calling about Christmas either." I rushed to continue before he could interrupt me again. "It's about Bella."

"What about Bella?" He sounded concerned but not yet panicked. "Did she fall out of the boat and get sick?" There was a bit of humor in his tone. If he only knew. Bella had called him and I was glad for that. He'd have that conversation to hold on to forever. Jasper moved next to me and wrapped both his arms around me, giving me the support I needed to get out the words that Charlie would never forget.

"No, Charlie. We got a call from the Coast Guard. Edward and Bella's boat went down in the Atlantic. There's a search underway for both of them right now." He was silent on the other end of the line. I knew he was in shock and I couldn't stand the silence so I filled it. "You know they bought a new boat and I guess there was something wrong with it and there was apparently an explosion. Someone reported it from the shore so they went out to investigate. We hadn't heard from them in the last day and called to report them missing and that's when we heard about the boat." I babbled on and on, panic welling inside of me. I felt Jasper push some calming emotions at me and grabbed on to them like a lifeline. I was the one sinking right now.

"We just got a call that it was indeed their boat but there's no sign of them anywhere. We're about to head there but wanted to make sure you knew what was going on. I'm so sorry, Charlie. We're going to do our best to find her and take care of her, no matter what she needs. You know that right?" I could hear the pleading in my voice. He needed to know that we would take care of her even if he didn't know that she was still among the living, in a matter of speaking.

I heard a strangled sob on the other end of the line and knew my words had finally gotten through to him. "Lost at sea?" he whispered.

"Maybe not!" I had to try to respond as if I didn't know, as if I actually had hope that Bella and Edward would be found alive. There were times when I was grateful for the ability to lie well. This was not one of them. I was going to give him false hope but I knew the Alice he knew would be bubbling with positive vibes if she didn't know better.

"They've already started looking for them and haven't found…" I broke off before saying their bodies. That was the last thing he needed to hear.

"How far from land were they?" he demanded. I could hear the "chief" in his tone. I wanted him to hold on to that because it was easier to deal with than the grief I'd heard in those three brief words he'd uttered before.

"Three miles they said."

"That's a long way, but it's possible," his voice was tight, fear underlying his words.

"We have to believe they're alight, Charlie. We just do." They would be. I knew they would be. I could see it was going to be hard on Bella for a little while but we'd get her through.

I heard drawers rustling. "I need to get on a flight out there. I'm not sure when…"

"There's a flight leaving Seattle at eleven tonight. With connections you'll be flying all night. You'll get in around noon." I already had tickets reserved for him.

"Thank you, Alice. That gives me enough time to pack and get to the airport. I'll need to call and make a reservation…"

"It's already done."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "You're a wonder. Thank you, Alice."

"It's the least I could do, Charlie. Are you going to be alright to travel alone?"

There was a pause before he answered and suddenly my visions of Charlie's trip vanished. I couldn't see a thing. That could only mean…"I'll give Billy a call, maybe Jacob could come with me. I know he and Bella didn't part on the best of terms but he's one of her best friends. I think he'd want to be there." I didn't think that was quite the case but clearly he was coming. This could not be good. Still, Charlie would have somebody with him and that was the important thing.

"I'm sure he will. I don't want you traveling alone anyway. We'll make sure there's another ticket waiting."

"Thanks. I'm going to go call Billy. And Renee. Oh no, she's going to panic! What will I tell her?"

At least I could relieve him of one burden. "I'm pretty sure she told Bella she was going to be on a cruise. Perhaps you should wait until we know something for sure." She didn't have her cell phone with her anyway.

"Right, that's a good idea. No use setting her off now. Hopefully by the time I land you will have found her. Them. Safe and sound." His voice cracked and I could tell he was trying to convince himself. He knew that chances were slim though, he spent enough time on the water to know how dangerous it truly could be.

"Exactly." Jasper squeezed me and I burrowed closer to him. "You go finish packing and I'll have all the arrangements made. We'll see you there, okay?"

"Yes. If you find here before I get there you hug her and hold onto her tight for me, okay?"

I wanted to cry so badly it hurt. "I will, Charlie."

"See you soon, Alice. Stay strong."

"I will, Charlie. You too. See you soon." I hung up and breathed a huge sigh. "I am horrible."

"You're not horrible, Alice. You did what you had to do. You were strong for him and kept him from going to a dark place." Jasper stroked my hair as I curled further into him.

"I only delayed the inevitable. When they find that ring, it's going to kill him."

"It won't kill him. Charlie's very strong and we're all going to be there to support him. As much as I hate that the dog will be along, that's good too. Charlie will need his support."

"He'll have it. I just wish I could see." I hated not being able to see Charlie's future. At least that meant he wasn't alone, though. It was a cold comfort.

I took out my phone and texted Edward, giving him a head's up about the wolf presence. He'd put two and two together and know it was Jacob. I didn't want to tell him and who could be sure that he'd be the one to come? I'd hate to see that confrontation.

Jasper tugged me to my feet and the rest of the family headed out to the cars. "Let's get this charade over with," Rose huffed. Nobody bothered to correct her. It was an accurate term for the deception we were pulling off. It would be worth it, though. My sister needed my help and I was going to be there for her father and for her.


	51. Chapter 32 Outtake, On The Boat

**A/N Again, not new, but this is what happened on the boat while Bella and Edward were watching from the trees.**

SL Chapter 32 Outtake #2 The Boat

APOV

Pretending to be human was hard enough without the added stress of being confined to a Coast Guard search boat and waiting for Charlie to appear so we could effectively crush his heart. I paced nervously around the deck, doing my best to keep up the human pretense by not moving too quickly. I wanted this day to be over. I wanted Charlie to get away from Jacob so I could see again. Not knowing what was coming made me anxious; I kept trying to see around the hole in my visions but I couldn't.

Jasper put a calming hand on the back of my neck and I instantly felt soothed, even without the use of his gift. He always knew exactly what I needed. I leaned into him and looked across the water at the tree where Edward & Bella were waiting and watching. I gave them both a slight nod, wishing this could all be over so we could be happy again. And we had been. Our family had never felt more complete than it had since Bella had married Edward. Yes, Rose was still a thorn in the side but she'd always been that way to some degree. Edward's happiness made Esme ecstatic, thrilled Carlisle and made my Jasper's existence far easier. Life had improved for all of us to some degree and I knew it would eventually be better for Rose as soon as she accepted Bella's place in our world.

I glanced at the blond in question, bundled up in a huge red parka with a scowl marring her beautiful face as she tried to move in the bulky coat. I let out a tiny laugh because I felt the same way about the human charade we were forced to play. I had plenty of beautiful coats but none that suited an ocean expedition in the middle of December. We all looked like Eskimos. I wished I could rip off my black parka and just be free. I felt pent up enough without the confining jacket.

"What has you so amused?" Jasper whispered in my ear. I gave a little shudder at his nearness, wishing we could be alone, anywhere but here.

I gave him the smile I knew we both needed. "We all look like Nanook of the North. It goes against every fiber of my being to be dressed in this."

Jasper chuckled and tightened his arms around me. "You make that coat look sexy."

"Liar." He wasn't lying, of course, Jasper never lied to me. He was just besotted with me. I wouldn't want it any other way although his blatant disrespect for anything fashionable infuriated me. He just shook his head and pressed a kiss to the crown of my head. I heard the sound of an approaching engine and felt Jasper stiffen behind me.

I turned and saw the pain in his eyes. "Are you okay?"

He closed his eyes and scrunched up his face. "He's so full of emotion. Fear, anger, grief…it's nearly debilitating. How is he even enduring it?"

I reached up and stroked my Jasper's face. "I'm sorry; we should have found a way to leave you at home. Or you could have searched the land or something. This was stupid."

He kissed my palm. "No, I knew what it would be like, you warned me. I want to be here for Charlie and for Bella. I can try to help but obviously I can't take it all."

"No, of course not. I didn't expect you to do anything. He has to go through it." I glanced over to where my best friend and sister sat in the tree. "Just like she does."

He took my hand and squeezed it. "She has us and for now, so does Charlie. We'll make sure they both get through it." I nodded, so grateful that I had this man with me for all time. Losing him was something I couldn't even begin to comprehend; I was glad I didn't have to.

The other boat pulled into view and I felt my heart sink at the site of Charlie. His shoulders were hunched and he was staring down at the water. His boat pulled alongside ours and he shuffled across the gangplank. I didn't even think about it before I was by his side, wrapping my arms around him and trying to give him any little bit of support I could.

He slumped against me, his arms crushing me to him. Had I been human, I wouldn't have been able to breathe; luckily for me I didn't have to. I held him up for a few more moments before stepping back and looking into those haunted brown eyes; Bella's old eyes. "Charlie, it'll be okay." It would be for Bella, but would it be for him? Damn those wolves for blocking my vision. I had to know he'd be alright, put Bella's mind at ease.

"Thanks, Alice." His voice was rough and I knew he hadn't slept at all since he'd gotten my phone call. Esme came over and gave Charlie a gentle hug while Carlisle put a supportive hand on his shoulder. Jasper's face was contorted in pain and he swiftly turned away and walked to the other end of the boat. Emmett sat next to Rose, a look of helplessness on his usually affable face.

"Have they found anything more?" There was desperation in Charlie's voice and I knew Carlisle's answer would do nothing to alleviate that.

"Just more boat wreckage."

Charlie's shoulders slumped even further at those words. He looked like he'd aged about a decade since we'd been gone, though I knew from my visions that it had been more or less overnight that he'd started to look this way. I hated what we were doing to him.

"She has to be alright. She just has to be." His voice was barely a whisper and he just kept repeating those words over and over. I looked at Carlisle, unsure of what to do.

"Charlie, I know it's little comfort but she and Edward were together and if there was any way…"

"Edward! That bastard!" Charlie cut Carlisle off, his voice seething as he cursed my brother's name. "This is his fault. He took her away from me. I knew from the first time I laid eyes on him that he was trouble and then he left and I thought things could go back to normal but they didn't. She was lost without him. Then he returns and she takes him back like nothing happened and then she marries him! He took her away from me twice already, isn't that enough? Now it has to be forever?" His voice broke on the last word and sobs began to wrack his body.

I wrapped my arms back around his waist and led him to a bench to sit down. He collapsed in it as if he didn't have the strength anymore and buried his face in his hands. I held tight, letting his tremors move through me. I felt a hand at my side and glanced up to see Emmett holding a bottle out to me. Eye drops. Yes, we needed to keep up appearances. I moved too quickly for Charlie to see what I was doing as I squeezed the drops in the corners of my eyes, feeling the wetness trace down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Charlie. But he loved her. He _loves _her. You don't know my brother like I do. She's his whole world. Leaving her was the hardest thing he ever had to do and he never would have done it if he didn't think it was for the best. But they couldn't be away from each other, Charlie. You saw that. You _know_ that."

He looked up at me then and took in the water masquerading as tears coursing down my face. "Yeah, I know." His voice was rough with tears, his face red and blotchy from crying. "I'm sorry. You're just as worried about Edward as I am about Bella. I…it's easy to forget that. It's just that this wouldn't have happened if she hadn't married him and moved away."

I brushed the drops off my face and gave him a hesitant smile. "This is Bella we're talking about, Charlie. She would have found a way to get hurt or go missing even without Edward in her life." I tried to put some amusement into my tone, to lighten the moment.

He managed a watery chuckle. "This is true." He glanced over at Esme and Carlisle, huddled together on the other side of him. "I know you're worried about Edward as well. I apologize for saying anything bad about him. I know he made…_makes_ Bells happy. I really am glad she found him." He looked horrified at his verbal slip, already referring to them in the past tense.

Carlisle nodded. "We understand. We wish things were different as well and that the kids were safe and sound at home with the rest of us."

Charlie removed himself from my arms and stood up. "I'm going to go talk to the captain." We watched him walk slowly across the deck, his eyes trained on the water.

Emmett threw himself down in Charlie's vacated spot. "This sucks. Can't we just tell him what we are? The fallout from that has to be better than watching him suffer like this."

"Yeah, Emmett, I'm sure that'd go over real well right about now. He'd haul us all off to the loony bin."

"Not if he saw Bella."

Visions danced in my head and none of them were good. "The fallout would be catastrophic. If we told him what we are, the Volturi would find out and kill him and destroy us all." Emmett gaped at me. "If he saw Bella, he'd suffer a massive heart attack and die."

"Clearly that's not an option, not that it ever was," Carlisle murmured, glaring at Emmett.

He frowned at all of us. "I just hate seeing him like this. And you didn't see her getting onto that boat! She looked like she was being led to the guillotine or something. I hate seeing my little sister hurt." He crossed his arms and sighed. "This just sucks."

"It does, but we knew that it would. Right now we have to be strong for Charlie and play our parts for Bella. You want her with us forever don't you?" Carlisle asked him.

"Of course!"

"Well, then, no more talk about revealing our true selves to Charlie."

"Fine!" Emmett was annoyed and I couldn't blame him. I wanted to alleviate Charlie's pain as well but there was no solution that wouldn't be damaging. This was our best course of action, unfortunately.

I watched as Rosalie disappeared into the ship's cabin and came out with a steaming cup of coffee, headed for Charlie. "What is she doing?" Carlisle, Esme and Emmett all watched with me as she reached Charlie's side and handed him a cup of coffee.

"She better not make this worse," Carlisle muttered.

Emmett glared at all of us. "She won't. My Rosie may not support this but she's not going to do anything to make it worse for Charlie. She has a good heart." One she rarely showed the rest of the world, perhaps, but Emmett was right. I didn't foresee her doing anything awful.

"It'll be fine," I assured Carlisle and Esme.

"Of course it will," Emmett said smugly. We all sat back to watch, Jasper even came back to stand beside me.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm surviving." His voice was tight with the strain but I could see he was holding up as well as could be expected. "What do we have over there?" he gestured toward Rose and Charlie.

"She took him coffee." I could see Rose's jaw tense as she heard us talking about her.

"You looked like you could use it."

"Thanks, Rosalie." Charlie turned his attention from the captain and focused on Rosalie. "How are you holding up?"

"As well as could be expected, I guess. Edward and I aren't exactly close but he's my brother and I love him. I don't want any harm to come to him or Bella." Her voice was sincere and I knew she was speaking the truth.

"I'm sure he'd be grateful that you're here."

Rose smirked at that comment. "I don't know about that but we're a family and we always support one another." Her face flashed uncertainty before she continued on. "Bella makes Edward very happy, happier than I've ever seen him. And he does the same for her. These past few months have been great for them, really. She stepped in and made our family complete." My jaw dropped and I saw my expression mirrored on the faces of my husband and the rest of our family.

"Wow, Carlisle, I know you told her she had to play nice but she's really going above and beyond." I was amazed, in my vision I'd only seen her talking about the family supporting one another. Telling Charlie about their happiness had been a last second decision apparently.

"She means it," Jasper said, his voice indicating his surprise as well. "There's a grudging sincerity in her feelings. She's not happy about it but she knows it's true."

"They really love one another." Charlie said gruffly.

"They do," Rose agreed, brushing a strand of her blond hair away from her face.

"I'm glad they're together, then. I don't think she could go on without him again."

Rose nodded. "Bella's pretty strong willed but you're probably right. I can definitely say the same about him. He was a mess without her." I shook my head in amazement, watching those two discuss Bella and Edward's relationship was pretty surreal.

"I don't know what I'll do if I lose her, Rose." I started to stand then, to go to Charlie but Jasper caught my hand in his and kept me still.

"She's got this."

Rose put her hand on Charlie's shoulder and looked deeply into his eyes. "You'll live, Charlie, because that's what she'd want you to do. It'll be hard but every day it'll be a little easier until the pain eases. You'll never forget but eventually you'll learn to live with the pain and be yourself again."

He shook his head in denial of her words. "I don't think I ever could. Not if I lost her."

Rosalie took a deep breath. "Charlie, I'm going to tell you something about me." We all exchanged terrified glances but I when I saw what she was going to say I shook my head. "I found out, awhile ago, that I could never have a child of my own." Emmett let out a small cry and I reached over to grab his hand.

Charlie reached up and covered Rose's hand with his own. "I'm sorry, that's a terrible burden to carry, especially for one so young."

"It is. And I was bitter about it for a long time. I was angry and I blamed the wrong people for it. I still do sometimes. It never really goes away but eventually I got used to it." I shook my head; because we all knew she hadn't gotten used to it or forgiven Carlisle for the choice he made to save her. Still, she was trying to make Charlie feel better and we were all lying anyway.

"I know it's not the same thing but I just wanted you to know that in time, it does get better."

Charlie nodded. "Thank you. I can't really think about that now. I still have to hope that they're out here, somewhere, waiting to be found."

Rosalie smiled. "I know; it's the only way to get through it. We're here for you, if you need us." She came back to the family, eying us warily.

"That was a nice thing you did, Rosalie." Carlisle looked at her proudly.

She shrugged. "I did it for him, not for her."

"Either way, it was good of you to show him compassion."

Esme put her hand on Rose's arm. "I know how hard that was for you. It was very kind of you to open yourself up like that for Charlie."

She flashed a tight smile and walked to the other end of the boat.

"That's my Rosie," Emmett proclaimed proudly. He got up and followed after her. Charlie went back to questioning the boat captain and I leaned against Jasper. Bella and Edward were no longer in the tree and I couldn't see them.

"Jake found them."

"That won't be pleasant." Jasper pointed out.

"No. I wish we could hear over these infernal engines so I could at least know what was going on."

He chuckled and ran his knuckles over my jaw. "You just can't stand not knowing things."

I pouted and shook my head. "I like knowing what's happening with the people I care about."

He tilted my head up to his and gave me a soft kiss. "I know you do and I love that about you. You want to look out for us all." It was my job and I felt powerless entirely too often lately. There was so much I couldn't see. The funeral, Charlie's life after the funeral, Bella and Edward right now, Bella's power…it was so frustrating. "Hey now, gorgeous, stop getting worked up about it. Everything will work out. Surely you can deal with being surprised now and then." I didn't know if I could, it rarely happened and when it did it was often bad.

"I can try," I said it begrudgingly but there was nothing I could do but live with it anyway.

Jasper flashed me the smile that never failed to make me feel warm and gooey inside. "That's all I ask." I leaned into him for a moment but stiffened as an old vision resurfaced.

"It's time."

Carlisle got up and walked over to Charlie, standing near him to provide the support that would be needed. A diver surfaced from the water, climbing aboard and walking over to Charlie and Carlisle, showing them the ring he clutched in his hand. Charlie reached out to take the ring and his face crumpled, all hope gone as he sank toward the ground. Carlisle caught him and pulled him up. Esme ran to his side and helped bring him back to the bench. His heartbreaking sobs could be heard even over the engine.

Esme guided his head to her shoulder and let his tears soak her jacket. I wrapped both my arms around his waist and pressed as close to him as I could, hoping that he could feel my support through his heartbreak. _She's alive, Charlie. She's alive. _I mentally chanted it over and over, somehow feeling like he could pick it up subconsciously and feel better. Jasper sent a wave of calm towards us but there was not much he could do with Charlie's raw grief that wouldn't confuse him and the people around us. Rose reached out and took Charlie's hand in hers. Emmett passed around the eye drops again so we all looked like we were in tears over this confirmation that Bella and Edward likely hadn't made it. We were all like a huge ball of misery; it felt like the life had been sucked out of all of us in that moment.

The captain approached us slowly. "I'm afraid that we have to take this find and the fact that we've been searching for two days without locating them, as confirmation that they didn't make it. Headquarters is calling off the search. I'm so very sorry."

Esme gave him a watery nod. "We understand. Thank you for all you've done."

"I wish it could have been more," his tone reflected his remorse. "We're going to head back to shore now."

Charlie let out a keening moan and began rocking back and forth, his face pressing further into Esme's shoulder as he gripped Bella's ring tightly in his hand. "She can't be gone, she just can't be."

I tightened my grip around him as the boat began to head back to shore. "They're together, Charlie. They always will be. It's how she would have wanted it." Sobs shook his body and I didn't know if he heard me but I hoped he did.

Jasper pulled me to him tightly. We had each other. Bella and Edward had one another. Who did Charlie have? I hated that he would be alone. I made a silent vow that I would always be watching out for him, wolves or no wolves, and though I probably wouldn't be able to see him after this week, I'd always be only a phone call away if he wanted me. Charlie was my family now, too. I'd find a way to make sure that he was alright. The boat approached the shore and I started making calls, arranging our flight to Forks and finishing what we'd started. All of our new lives were about to begin and I was going to be on top of it.


	52. Bella's Funeral Outtake

**A/N This is the last of the "old" outtakes. Tomorrow I will post the brand new one. More to come!**

SL Chapter 33 Outtake: The Funeral

CPOV

I'd had far too many occasions in my extremely long life to truly hate who I was, what I was, and what I had done. I'd sentenced four other innocents to the life I'd learned to live with; something I constantly questioned myself for. Was I right to take them from the sweet release of death and give them eternal life? Esme would say yes. Rosalie would disagree emphatically. Emmett would shake his head and tell me to stop worrying about it. Edward…well, he'd probably changed his stance on that now that he had Bella in his life. I liked to think so, as he'd never been happier and he wouldn't be with her were it not for the selfish choice I made back in that dank hospital in Chicago.

I could easily take all those days, those days of self loathing and regret, combine them together and still not feel as horrible as I did today. Today I was pretending to bury my son and daughter-in-law. I was standing in a room with truly grieving parents and trying to project the same amount of emotion they were. They were being ripped apart, grieving a child that was truly lost to them but that I knew was alive and well across the country. Alive being a relative term, of course. They would never see her again but I'd have her in my arms in mere hours. My sadness at being here, a home I could never return to, paled in comparison to their loss and I felt like a cad for even equating the two emotions.

I was a liar and a sham. I'd never have to endure the pain of losing a child; I got to keep mine forever. And I'd stolen theirs! I didn't question that it was the right thing to do; Edward was my son and he needed Bella and we had the ability to give her eternity. It really wasn't a choice; it felt like fate, just like when Esme came into my life. Bella belonged with us but living with the aftermath was something I'd never had to do before.

I didn't know what to do with myself so I just sat stoically with Esme by my side, keeping me grounded as always. Alice was a whirl of motion, choosing to focus on the logistics of the funeral rather than the overwhelming emotion that was threatening to suffocate the room. Emmett looked completely uncomfortable, his eyes moving about the room assessing any potential threat from the wolves.

The gathering crowd began to murmur and I knew Charlie was coming in; Billy at his side. He walked down the aisle of the church, his shoulders hunched over, suit hanging loosely from his body, his gate that of an old man rather than a middle-aged one. He looked even worse than he had in Maine. We hadn't seen him since the plane had landed in Forks; Jacob had taken him to La Push right away. The angry young man wouldn't let Alice even give him one more hug, instead telling her to arrange the funeral since throwing parties seemed to be her specialty. Alice's little face had fallen but she had done as he asked, figuring it would be easier on Charlie and Renee if we arranged things for them. It was the least we could do after what we'd done to them.

Alice, not surprisingly, had arranged a lovely funeral, if such occasions could ever be called lovely. The church featured an elegant display of lilies and white roses. She'd picked a beautiful picture of Edward and Bella to display on the altar, the two staring into one another's eyes as if there was nothing in the world they'd rather be looking at. Edward's eyes shone with joy, as they always did when he looked at Bella. A faint blush colored her cheek as she gazed back at him with wonder. It was the picture that Alice had used for their engagement announcement and a favorite of us all. A large wreath of white roses sat in between the two empty coffins, a red ribbon with the words "together forever" adorning it.

Charlie sat in the front pew on the other side from where Esme and I were sitting. He gave us a brief nod before turning his bloodshot eyes back to the floor. Billy glanced over at me and I saw many emotions in those black eyes. There was sadness, anger, acceptance and even some understanding in his gaze. I hoped he truly did understand that this was Bella's choice and that it did make sense for her. I decided to try to talk with him later, I had a feeling he'd be far more receptive than Sam would. I could feel his glare boring into the back of my head and knew he'd have words for me before the day was over.

Renee came down the aisle next, clutching a Kleenex to her already streaming eyes and holding tightly to Phil's hand. She looked odd in her black suit, very out of place and just not fitting with my picture of the carefree woman I'd enjoyed meeting at the wedding. She paused when she reached the front of the aisle and clasped my shoulder, a silent squeeze of support that made me feel even worse. She gave me a tearful smile and reached for Charlie's hand. He looked up at her in confusion; like he wasn't sure who she was but he gripped her hand like a lifeline. She quietly murmured to him as she sat next to him, words of support and reassurance falling from her lips. Phil sat on her other side and Renee held both men's hands. Bella would have liked to have seen that; her family was actually united in a way. United in death, how comforting. I sighed to myself and Esme reached over and caressed my cheek.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, confidence ringing in her tone. And it would be, once I got my family safely out of Forks and we were all together again. I didn't like being separated from them anymore than Alice & Emmett did. Both were holding up fairly well being away from Jasper and Rosalie but I knew they were struggling not having their partners at their sides at such an emotional time. Still, maybe it helped us keep up the façade even more. Nobody had even asked where Jasper and Rose were, which relieved me. I didn't have to tell yet another lie.

I bit back a chuckle when I heard a familiar voice cut through the chatter in the church. "If Bella had been with me this never would have happened," Mike Newton complained, still clearly hung up on the girl that he never stood a chance with.

"Well I'm sure Edward would still be alive if he hadn't hooked up with Bella. I cannot fathom how a girl like her could get a guy like that," Jessica Stanley's vicious voice responded. Clearly the two jilted children were sitting together. Hadn't they dated one another? Why were they so hung up on Bella & Edward still?

"They were very much in love," a soft voice chided. "Neither of them would have wanted to live without the other one. Now they'll be together forever." Angela Webber was a lovely girl. She understood Edward and Bella in a way that most of her peers probably did not. Theirs was not a temporary love. I glanced behind me and saw her, sitting next to her boyfriend, Ben, tears sliding down her face. Bella had had a good friend in Angela. Jessica responded to Angela's words with a "humph" and turned back to Mike.

"Well I still say they'd totally have been better off if they would have at least dated other people, you know?" Mike nodded vigorously and I caught Emmett's gaze. He rolled his eyes emphatically and crossed his arms, his muscles bulging in his suit jacket. I knew he wanted to say something but I was glad he refrained.

My gaze shifted to the back of the church, where Sam and Paul were standing next to the doors, looking almost like bouncers. Their black eyes glittered with anger; Sam's directed at me while Paul kept his gaze on Emmett. I heard a throat clearing behind me and turned back to the front, seeing Reverend Webber taking his place behind the altar.

I only listened with half an ear as Reverend Webber spoke about being taken too soon and living life to the fullest while we could. It had all been said hundreds of times before and it was all true but still cliché. There was no comfort to be found in the death of someone in their prime of life. They weren't suffering; they had their entire lives ahead of them. Of course, this was still the case for Bella & Edward but very few of the people here actually knew that. It was difficult to lose myself in the emotion of the words when I knew it was all a waste.

My eyes gravitated back to Charlie as he listened fervently to what the reverend was saying. I could only hope that maybe he was finding some comfort in the words. Tears traveled down his face and disappeared into his moustache, it was almost fascinating to watch. Esme elbowed me subtly and I jerked my attention away, it wouldn't do for one grieving father to stare at the other for the entire service.

Reverend Webber asked if anybody would like to say a few words. A quick glance at Charlie again assured me that he would be unable to speak and Renee didn't look much better. She had her face buried in Phil's neck. I took an unnecessary breath, squared my shoulders and stood. I had to do something, say something, to give them some comfort.

I took my place next to Reverend Webber and let my eyes roam the crowd for a moment. The church was completely packed; likely out of deference for Charlie and what he meant to the community as a whole. I knew nobody was there for the Cullen part of the funeral; such was the lot in living among but removed from humans.

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth, not really knowing what words were going to come out of it. "There are really no words that I can give that adequately describe just how wonderful an addition Bella Swan has been to my family. I could stand up here and give you anecdotes about Edward over the years but the truth of the matter is that Bella brought him to life."

My eyes sought Esme, who gave me a tiny smile and nod of encouragement. "I know that a lot of people in this very room thought they were too young to understand love and that maybe they rushed into marriage before they really tested the waters elsewhere. And from the outside looking in, maybe that would seem right." My eyes landed on Jessica Stanley and Mike Newton, who both shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. "But there are times when you just know. They knew. They accepted one another's flaws and loved each other despite, or maybe because of, their differences. I can honestly say, without a doubt, that the last few months of their lives were the best, for both of them. I could see that with my own eyes but they both were sure to vocalize it anyway."

I looked at Charlie then, his bloodshot brown eyes meeting my crystal clear golden ones, the difference was probably quite startling. "Though Bella was happy in New Hampshire, she didn't forget about the people she left in Forks. You were all close to her heart and she talked about many of you as if she'd see you soon. I know she looked forward to coming back to visit and showing you just how much she loved you."

I closed my eyes and swallowed, trying to show the struggle with emotion a grieving father would have when talking about his children. I opened my eyes and looked again at Charlie, hoping to convey to him the extra meaning behind my words. "Edward and Bella belong together, in this life and in the ever after. I know that as long as they have one another, wherever they are, they'll be okay. He'll look out for her and she'll look out for him. Their love and their lives will endure through all of us who knew and loved them. They'll both look out for us, because that's how they were. Sometimes it was like they were the parents and we were the kids." Charlie's moustache twitched and I saw a hint of a smile.

"I was blessed to have Edward in my life for as long as I did and even more blessed when Bella came in and completed our family. She was the piece that was missing for many years. I will cherish every minute that we got to spend with her. My son was a complicated person, some would say moody," I broke off as a few students chuckled. "Maybe all would say moody, but Bella alleviated that. I'll be forever grateful to her for the happiness she brought my son, my other sons, my daughters and my wife and I. We truly became closer due to her presence in all our lives."

I glanced over at the empty coffins, grateful that the girl and boy I spoke of were not actually in them, that they were home where they belonged. "I can't be happy that they're gone, but I can be happy that they're together. They will be forever young and forever in love." I heard a snort in the back of the church and saw Sam rolling his eyes. "They would want us to find the same happiness they found, to embrace love when we found it, just as they did." My eyes met Charlie and Renee's. "Thank you for letting my son marry your daughter. She will always be treasured. They will always be loved." I gave them a nod and walked back to my seat, taking Esme's hand in mine.

Reverend Webber wrapped things up and the congregation stood to make their way to The Lodge. Alice had toyed with having the reception at Charlie's house but determined it was just too small and it would probably feel too strange to be in that house again. Esme and I walked over to Renee, who wrapped us both in her arms and cried into our shoulders.

"What you said, it was beautiful and it was right. I don't regret Bella marrying Edward and I'd let her do it again even knowing that they're both gone now. She wasn't alive without him either, you know." I knew that all too well; our leaving was still a scar on all our hearts and I'd forever be sorry that I hadn't stepped in and made Edward stay. Who knew where we'd all be today if I had?

Charlie gave me a weak handshake and mumbled, "Thanks for what you said about Bella," before slipping out the front door. Billy met my eyes and gave me another nod and a look that I interpreted as "we'll talk later." I nodded in return and watched his exit. He paused at the front door to say something to Sam about not starting anything today. Sam agreed through gritted teeth but kept his eyes on me.

We waited until everyone had filed out before making our way out of the church, Esme's hand clasped in my own while Emmett slung an arm around Alice's shoulders. We all stopped as one when we reached the parking lot and found Sam and Paul leaning against the rented black Mercedes, Embry and Quil standing uncomfortably on either side of them.

I stepped in front of my family and faced Sam. "I assume you have some things you'd like to say to me that you didn't want to share in front of an audience?" The overpowering scent of the four wolves made me want to move away but I stood my ground.

"You're very perceptive, _Doctor," _Sam sneered. I didn't respond to his derisive tone, refusing to let him get a rise out of me. He frowned at my lack of reaction. I had nothing to say as I understood exactly why the wolves were angry. Were I in their shoes I'd likely have the same reaction. "I just wanted to reiterate that as soon as the reception is over you all need to get out of town and never return."

"We will leave as soon as we can without being rude. We have to do what we can for Charlie and Renee and then we'll go."

Paul pushed off the car then, his teeth bared in a snarl. "Like you care about Charlie and Renee! You took their daughter away!"

"Paul!" Sam gave him a warning look and he stepped back.

Esme spoke quietly behind me. "We care very much about Charlie and Renee. We will always look out for them and…"

Sam cut her off. "Looking out for them is our job. You tell your bloodsucking leech of a daughter-in-law that she need not pretend to have any concern for her family anymore. She made her choice. She will never be welcome here again."

I had expected as much but I knew it would still be a blow to Bella when she heard it. "Sam, none of us would ever attempt to return without your permission but surely you realize that she'll want to know her father is doing well."

He crossed his arms, the movement showing the frayed elbows of his suit. I realized all the boys were wearing ill-fitting clothes; they obviously didn't have a lot of use for expensive funeral wear. "If she cared so much for her father's well being, she wouldn't have willingly become a monster." Emmett growled behind me, no doubt angry at hearing Bella spoken of in such a manner. I held up a hand in warning.

"I request that you stop speaking of her in such a derogatory way. She is my family and she deserves better from people who she once counted among her friends."

"We stopped being her friends after she led Jacob on and made him think she had real feelings for him. She was nothing but a tease, though, letting Jacob pant after her while she whored herself for your son." Emmett surged forward then, his growl far more pronounced. Paul and Sam crouched for attack while Esme, Alice and I all threw our arms around Emmett to hold him back.

"Don't you talk about her like that," Emmett shouted. "Bella's not like that! She's got a good heart and she never wanted to hurt Jacob. He did everything he could to manipulate her away from Edward but it didn't work because she loves my brother!"

Paul laughed derisively. "Give her another year or two and see if the next guy to pay her any attention turns her away from him. I know her type." Emmett broke out of our hold and started to go after him but I tackled him to the ground.

"Emmett, stop. We're not going to fight. It would kill Bella to know that her funeral became a brawl between us and the wolves. Let it go. They don't know her like we do. Nothing they say changes anything. She's with us now and she's safe and we'll make her happy." Emmett stopped struggling beneath me.

"Aww, isn't that sweet? They'll take good care of their newborn baby bloodsucker; probably bring her a few innocent children to feed her every week. How many has she killed so far, Cullen? How many more families has she robbed of happiness?"

I stood up and extended a hand to Emmett. He took mine and climbed to his feet, brushing the dirt off his black pants and staring at Paul threateningly. "None."

A look of surprise flashed across Sam's face before a mask slid back in place. "I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she slips up."

"You know better than that." That's all I was going to say, they'd believe what they wanted to believe. "If we're quite done here, we'd like to get going." Sam jerked his head at the others and they moved away from the car. Quil and Embry had remained quiet during the whole confrontation and it felt almost like they didn't really want to be a part of it. I knew they'd been closer to Bella than Sam and Paul had and hoped that maybe she still had some friends among the wolves, even if they didn't verbalize it.

"I would say see you later but I don't intend to ever see you again. Stay away from our land." I nodded at Sam and held the doors open for Esme and Alice. I slid into the car and drove away, watching in the rear view mirror as they stood in the parking lot, their eyes trained on the car. I knew they'd probably be outside The Lodge and follow us until we got out of town. It was to be expected.

"I can't believe they talked about Bella like that," Emmett hissed. "Why didn't you let me hit him?"

I sighed. "You know why, Emmett. Things are tense enough without us getting physical. I'm sure there were more than just four of them in the area, we were likely outnumbered."

He folded his arms across his chest and let out an angry huff of breath. "They're just lucky Edward and Jasper weren't here to hear that." I couldn't help but agree, doubtful that Jasper would have been in the right frame of mind to diffuse the situation with comments like that.

"Let's just get the rest of this over with," Alice said warily. "I want go get back to Jazz and Edward and Bella and Rose." We all did, it would be a relief to be a whole family again.

I pulled up in front of The Lodge, the parking lot nearly full. We piled out of the car and made our way into the restaurant. I was stopped by countless people, all giving me their heartfelt apologies for our losses. I thanked them all for their kindness and pushed my way into the main dining room. A buffet was set up against the wall. What was it about funerals and food? I didn't understand why anybody would want to eat but I guess they sometimes called food comfort food.

Esme sat down at a table with Angela Webber and Ben Cheney, a sweet smile on her lips as she listened to Angela talk about her friend. Alice was sitting at a table next to Charlie and Renee, laughing genuinely as Renee recounted some of Bella's mishaps while growing up. Charlie even smiled a few times at Renee's words and I felt a pang knowing that he had missed out on most of that time with Bella as well. How would it feel only to have a couple of years with your child before they were gone?

Though I knew that wasn't an issue for us, I vowed to cherish every moment I spent with my family. I was at the hospital so often and I tended to spend the majority of my time with Esme when I got home. I needed to make more of an effort to spend time with all of them. The fortunate thing for me was that I had all the time in the world, while Charlie had none.

I broke out of my reverie when Billy Black wheeled over to my side. "Doctor Cullen," he said, without the derisive tone that Sam had used minutes earlier.

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle," he smiled. "Did everything go alright back at the church?"

I didn't quite know how to respond to that. "Nobody died, so I guess it went okay."

My morbid humor made him chuckle and he shook his head. "I told Sam to behave himself but I didn't really expect that he would. Was it very bad?"

"No. He said some very hurtful things about Bella and Emmett got angry at Paul but we kept them from coming to blows."

Billy sighed. "They're young and very volatile. Everything is black and white at their age. They don't see the gray in the situation."

I looked at him in surprise. "Do you?" Honestly, I hadn't expected an elder to be understanding of Bella's decision.

"Yes. I knew love once, Carlisle. The deepest, strongest love I've ever felt. If I'd had the chance to hold onto it for eternity, knowing the loneliness that awaited me when I lost her, I can't say that I wouldn't have made the same decision that Bella had."

I thought of Esme and what my existence would be like without her. It wasn't fathomable.

"That's not to say that I approve of what Bella's done to her father." I started to speak but he continued. "I understand that she couldn't tell him what you are but there must have been a better way."

I shook my head regretfully. "There wasn't. We considered the truth but Alice saw Charlie dying if he found out about us. We could have just had Bella pull away from Charlie and not see him again but she decided that ultimately that would have hurt him more in the long run."

Billy considered my words. "That is probably true. No father ever wants to feel that their children have forgotten them."

"No. I never had my own children, of course, but there was a time when Edward left and though I knew he hadn't forgotten me, he did turn his back on me and the lifestyle I'd chosen. That was very difficult to deal with."

Billy's face was grave. "Yes, I imagine so. It will be difficult for Bella, knowing her parents are alive and well and not being able to see or talk to them ever again."

"Yes. We'll do our best to fill any holes in her life but we could certainly never replace her parents."

"Jacob told me that he spoke to her." I nodded, not really knowing what that conversation had entailed since I hadn't seen Bella since before the "accident." "It didn't go well. He said some things that he can't ever take back, things I know that one day he will regret. Just as he will one day regret not being here. He left after getting Charlie settled in the house and hasn't returned. He, too, is very volatile and he's very angry at the loss of his best friend."

"I can understand that." Who didn't lash out when they were upset? Jacob was only human.

"I hope, someday, that maybe they will speak again. With time and distance and maturity, Jacob may be able to see the situation more clearly."

"I hope so, I know Bella misses him."

"He misses her as well. I hope you will tell her that I don't judge her for her choice."

I studied his wise eyes. "I think that will make her very happy."

A smile stole across his craggy features. "Good. Also, please tell her that I got her letter. Thank her for it and tell her that I will definitely look out for her father. I will be the type of friend for him that Jacob was for her in her time of need." I hung my head at that, shame over my son's behavior and my own still heavy in my heart.

I tampered down on that, now was not the time to regret the past. The future was staring us in the face and I had to look forward to it. "She'll be grateful, as am I. We obviously can't be there for Charlie physically but please, if there's anything I can do, call me." I handed him a card containing my cell phone number. He slipped it into his suit pocket.

"I will. Take good care of her, Carlisle, and see to it that your boy makes her choice worthwhile."

"You can count on it." He shook my hand and wheeled over to the food. I made my way back over to Charlie's table. Esme and Emmett had joined Alice there and they were all listening to Renee talk about Bella's formative years.

"So I'm getting her ready for her first ballet recital and she tells me she sucks!" Renee laughed; her blue eyes teary yet shining at the memory. "And darned if she wasn't right. The other kids in her class would all go one way and Bella was going in the opposite direction. She fell three times and then stopped dancing entirely, just standing still as the other girls danced around her! After it was over, she just looked at me in that way she had, like she knew all my secrets. I ended up apologizing to her and never taking her to dance classes again!" I shuddered a little at the mention of ballet and exchanged a glance with Emmett. He was clearly having the same memory, his face contorted in pain at the images of a broken Bella.

"That's a great story, Renee," Charlie said, his voice still a little raw from his earlier tears. "I wish I could have seen it."

Renee's face fell. "Oh, Charlie, I'm so sorry you weren't there. If I'd known…" she trailed off, unsure how to finish the though. I didn't think she regretted ending their marriage. "I do have it on video! I can make you copies of all our movies. I should have sent them to you before."

He looked excited for a moment before the broken look returned to his face. "That would be great, Renee."

She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I may have had her for longer, but she had the best time with you."

A blush stole across Charlie's face, exactly like Bella's. It made me feel better for a brief moment. "That was because of Edward," he muttered.

Renee shook her head. "Maybe in part but you were her rock, Charlie, in a way that I never was. She was mine. You let her be a kid, if only for a little while. She needed that. She needed you."

Tears coursed down his face as he whispered his "Thank you." I was really glad Renee had told him that, because it was quite true that Bella had needed and treasured the time with her father, though it was limited.

"It's all about quality, not quantity," Alice assured him. "Bella loves you a lot." I winced at her use of the present tense but nobody seemed to notice. Alice was no doubt working on her subliminal messages to him again.

I was torn about leaving; wanting to stay for Charlie but every second I was around him I felt worse. I was gaining everything he'd lost. And honestly I didn't think our presence was doing any more than reminding him that Edward had taken her away from him. He was too polite to say it now, when he thought we'd lost our son as well, but I knew a part of him was thinking it.

Esme must have seen something in my face for she stood up and took my hand. "I'm sorry but we have to get back home. Emmett and Alice have missed enough school and…"

"Oh, of course!" Renee stood and threw her arms around Esme and then around me as well. "Thank you for taking care of everything. I know it was just as hard on you as it was on us but you pulled everything off wonderfully. It really means a lot to us."

I stiffened at her words, guilt eating at me, then returned her hug and turned to Charlie, who unfolded himself from the chair very slowly. He gave Esme a quick hug, shook Emmett's hand and then gave Alice a longer hug, murmuring his thanks for all she had done. He turned to me and gave me a handshake.

"Thanks for all the kind things you said about Bells. It was nice to hear about how much you loved her. Thanks for taking care of her."

I gripped his hand solidly in mine. "I always will." If my words confused him, he didn't show it. He sank back into his chair and turned his eyes back to the table. I took Esme's hand and walked toward the exit when Alice stopped us.

"Look," she whispered.

We all turned and watched as Sue Clearwater slid into Alice's empty chair and took Charlie's hand in her own. He leaned his head on her shoulder and she ran a hand through his hair, very similar to the way that Bella soothed Edward. Alice's face lit into the first real smile I'd seen since before Bella's death.

"I can see!" she exclaimed softly. Her eyes unfocused and the smile on her face only grew wider. "He'll be okay, in time. I don't know when but he's going to ask her to marry him and she'll say yes!" Her voice was getting louder and we all shushed her. "Good thing they're alone when he does it, if her kids were around I wouldn't be able to see! That explains why I've hardly seen anything. I'm so relieved!"

I couldn't contain my own smile. Sue and her children wouldn't ever replace Bella but they could help mend his heart. We watched the two sitting together, Sue absorbing his misery, before turning to leave. When we got in the car, I asked, "Should we tell Bella?"

Alice thought for a second before shaking her head. "Not yet. She needs time with her grief just like Charlie does. We can tell her fairly soon but for now just tell her about your talk with Billy. That'll give her some peace, as will the news about Renee's baby."

I wanted to give my daughter peace; if the guilt was eating at me surely she was drowning in it. I started the car and then glanced at Esme as she caressed my cheek. "What?"

"It's okay to grieve, you know?"

"I have nothing to grieve, I haven't lost anything."

She smiled softly. "Haven't you?"

How she knew me! "Not comparatively." My having to let go of a land that I loved and people I respected was hardly comparable to what Charlie and Renee had lost. My compromising of all I'd allowed myself to believe in for over three hundred years was a minor matter in the giant scheme of things. I'd allowed my son to take someone healthy and make her a part of this eternal existence; I couldn't regret it but I did regret the pain it had wrought. I wouldn't change it though, despite it all. She belonged with us; I felt it in every fiber of my being.

I floored the accelerator and we left Forks behind for the last time. I was sorry to say goodbye to one of my favorite places but happy to be heading to the rest of my family, because they were where home really was.


	53. Chaper 38 Outtake, New York City

!/N Brand new outtake, finally! Taste is about to wrap up so hopefully I'll have the rest of these fairly soon :) I thank you for your patience and hope you enjoy this little B&E lemon after all the funeral heartfail!

Sacrificial Lamb Chapter 38 Outtake: New York City

EPOV

"Love, are you ready yet? You know the show starts at eight." When had my wife become such a girly girl? She'd been holed up in the bathroom for the last hour and the only peep I'd heard out of her during that time was when she told me she was getting ready. I was starting to wonder if Alice had stowed away in our luggage and was holding her hostage in the luxurious bathroom. I wouldn't put it past her.

"I'm almost done," she called. I ran my hands through my hair and straightened my already immaculate suit for the thirty-seventh time. I didn't want Bella to miss a minute of _Guys and Dolls_ and navigating the city traffic was never easy. Though of course we could run but I was sure Bella wasn't wearing something conducive to running and…

"Ready," she said, opening the door. I turned, ready to ask her what had taken so incredibly long but one look at her and every word I knew flew out of my head.

"Bella." It was all I could manage.

She bit her lip and eyed me nervously. "Do I look okay?"

Okay? What kind of question was that? There were no words for how she looked. I shook my head and her face fell, which jarred me out of my stupor. I pulled her to me and kissed her, trying to convey without words what I thought of her.

She pulled back and let out a little giggle. "I take it that you like it then." She was in a dark green silk dress, cut low to accentuate her perfect breasts. Her hair fell in loose tendrils over her luminous skin, most of it was piled on her head but the strands tumbling down just begged me to wind them around my fingers. She wore the diamond key pendant I'd given her at Christmas and dark green stones twinkled in her ears. Her golden eyes shone with love and happiness. She was a goddess and she was mine.

I kissed her again and then gave her the words that had failed me. "You look stunning. Exquisite. Extraordinary. Far too beautiful for human consumption. I may have to keep you here for the night. There are three bedrooms in this suite after all."

Bella laughed and whirled away from me, the dress flaring out at her movement. Venom welled up at the sight length of leg revealed by her movement. "You're positively indecent, love. Do you know what every man will be thinking when they get a look at you?"

She shook her head in obvious denial of my words. She still hadn't a clue of just how gorgeous she truly was. I captured her smiling lips with mine again and she kissed me for far too brief a moment before pulling back. "Weren't you the one getting all worked up about being late? We'd better get going."

"Evil woman! You're not even going to let me touch you before you go out looking like that and letting me get assaulted by every man's desire for you?"

She licked her lips and gave me a seductive smile that had every part of my body on alert. "I would have, if you hadn't complained about us being late. Now you'll just have to wait to get your hands on me."

I moved toward her and she backed away until she ran into the wall. I caged her in, my arms on either side of her. "I can make you want to stay." I bent and nipped at her neck. She sighed softly and tilted her head to give me better access. I sucked gently on the graceful curve of her neck and ran my teeth over her milky white skin. She let out a moan and her hands wound around my waist. I chuckled in triumph against her throat.

"And I can make you move," she said and the next thing I knew I was backing up while she pulled a long black coat on.

"I hate your power," I told her sulkily as I grabbed my wallet and walked back over to her, now that she was allowing me to do so.

"That's not what you said yesterday, and this morning, and on the way here and in the elevator and…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But that was awfully cruel, Mrs. Cullen."

She gave me a sexy smile as she walked into the elevator. "I'll make it up to you, Mr. Cullen."

I took her hand in mine and brought it to my lips. "I'll look forward to that."

"Me too. Now show me New York City."

So I did. I did my best to ignore the loud thoughts that hit me as soon as the elevators opened on the ground floor of The Plaza Hotel. Several men stopped to stare and one of the bellhops actually ran into a wall with his luggage cart because his eyes were too busy moving over my wife's body to be bothered to notice things like walls. Bella, of course, was completely oblivious, smiling happily and chattering happily about the show we were about to see.

With Bella's arm tucked through mine, we made our way out front and into the limo that I had waiting to drive us to Broadway. I gritted my teeth when the driver did a double take at the sight of Bella and immediately pictured her naked on his bed. I didn't want to ruin the night by acting like a jealous husband but it was going to be difficult when she looked so incredible. Bella leaned against me and my irritation melted at the feeling of her in my arms. No matter what they all thought, it was me she'd wanted, me she'd married.

I ran my nose along her cheek and she smiled up at me. "Thank you for bringing me here, Edward. I've always wanted to see New York."

"We'll do Central Park tomorrow, before going to Radio City. And anything else you want to do. The weekend is all yours."

"What I truly want to do is spend some time alone with you. It doesn't seem like I get enough these days."

I loved that she felt the same way that I did. "No, maybe not, sweetheart, but you've been learning and training. I understood, even though I missed you."

She kissed me again, soft and sweet and full of promise. "Once everything is behind us, we'll have to take a longer vacation, just the two of us."

"I love the sound of that." She was a woman after my own heart.

The limo pulled up in front of The Triumph Theater and as soon as the door opened I alighted and held out a hand to Bella. The driver didn't get the honor of touching her. "We'll see you at eleven," I told him, effectively dismissing him and his sordid thoughts of my wife.

Bella took my hand and we walked up the stairs, entering the old theater together. We were immediately transported back into a different era, with the bright red, lush carpet, gold tapestries and fancy hanging chandeliers. Bella gasped and looked around with delight.

"It's just like I imagined it! Thank you for bringing me!" She kissed me and I smiled at her enthusiasm.

"It's my pleasure, love. We've got balcony seats, so we have to go upstairs." I pointed to the sweeping staircase that arched down on either side of us. She grinned and walked up them gracefully, despite the thin black heels she was wearing. I chuckled and she glanced at me.

"What?"

"I was just thinking that not so long ago, I would have had to carry you up these stairs in order to make sure that you didn't trip and break yet another limb or two."

She chuckled and raised a brow. "Too bad all these people are around, or else I could show you just what fantastic balance I have now." I groaned as my body reacted to her suggestive words.

"You are trying to kill me."

She shook her head. "Not possible! I am trying to give you something to think about before we get back to the hotel."

I shook my head and tugged her toward our box seats after we got to the top of the stairs. We were in the front balcony and I'd purchased a whole box so Bella would be more comfortable. She was still just under four months old, despite her wonderful training and immaculate control, I figured having a little space to ourselves was for the best. Plus, I could get a little revenge for all the teasing she was doing. It was win/win either way.

We moved into our seating area and Bella removed her coat. I heard someone choke from behind us and immediately was bombarded by his thoughts. _Oh man, she is slammin! Look at that body. That ass is perfectly bitable. Wonder what she'd do if I reached over and took a nibble. _I turned and glared at the twenty-something idiot leering at my wife. He blanched and shrank back into his seat under the heat of my gaze. _God, you'd think he could hear me or something. He should be honored that his girlfriend is so damn hot._

I was honored that my _wife _was astonishingly beautiful but that didn't mean I liked the way he was mentally undressing her. I was thankful he hadn't seen her from the front because she was even more stunning from that view. Just then she turned to set her coat on her chair and he took a deep breath. _Holy crap, she's hot! I want to hit that."_

I wanted to hit him, hard, but I could hardly do that over his thoughts. Maybe he would be stupid enough to touch her, and then I could justify it, right? Sadly, no, Bella would get mad and I'd risk exposure. I couldn't fault the boy his taste at any rate and he wasn't alone. Thoughts all around me were filled with how beautiful my wife and I were. Some were clean and harmless, others not so much. I just had to let it go.

Bella reached up to touch my face and as always, I responded to her touch, leaning into her soft hands and smiling down at her. "I love you." I just felt the need to say that.

Her eyes shone and she smiled brightly. "I love you, too." She pressed her lips to mind and behind us all I heard were sighs and some jealousy and envy. Envy away, she's all mine. I broke our kiss eventually and sat, tugging Bella down next to me and wrapping my arm around her. _They're stunning. I wonder where he found her? I want one. I want both of them; wonder if they're into threesomes. _I shuddered and did my best to shut my mind off.

"What's the matter, Edward?" Bella asked, reaching up to push my hair out of my face.

"You're entirely too beautiful, my love. People's thoughts are…disturbing." That was the nice way to put it.

She shook her head and kissed my cheek. "I'm sure just as many are of you, my handsome husband. You're just letting the ones about me disturb you more."

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "No, sweetheart, trust me, the ones about you are far worse."

Bella pursed her lips. "Want me to do anything about it?" I smiled, loving the thought of her unleashing her power on these people, erasing us from their minds, but really, it wasn't worth it.

"No, love, it's alright. They're harmless I guess. They just drive me a little crazy."

She kissed me again, longer and harder and again I heard envious thoughts all around us. "If you can't handle it anymore, you let me know. And if there's anyone I need to take care of, let me know."

I chuckled. "Well, that guy in the box behind us…maybe you could make him trip or spill his drink during intermission or something, if you're so inclined."

Bella giggled and rested her head on my shoulder. "I can do that for you. I won't even ask what he thought."

I growled softly and she kissed along the line of my jaw. "That bad? Well, forget about him. It's you I'm with, forever." Her words and her lips worked their usual magic on me and I felt all the tension leave my body. She always knew how to calm me. I rested my head against hers and waited for the show to begin.

"I hope you like it, love."

"I know I will."

And she did. Bella sat forward in her seat the instant the curtain came up and she forgot just about everything around her, with the exception of me, I guess, because she sent me the occasional smile or squeezed my hand. She barely even reacted when I put my hand on her knee and stroked my fingers along her silky dress, up her thigh. I didn't watch the show and couldn't tell anybody a thing about what I thought of it if they asked, other than to say that my wife loved it so I did too. Her rapt expression and delighted smile were etched in my mind forever.

We didn't bother with the fool behind us, or anyone else, choosing to stay in our seats, kissing and touching a little during intermission and then leaving the theater quickly after the show was over. I was in a hurry to get her back to our hotel room, because sitting beside her and staring for several hours, without being able to have her, had pushed me to the brink of my limits.

I ushered her back into the limo and the instant I was inside my lips were on hers, pushing her back into the seat as she laughed breathlessly and returned my kiss. "What brought that on?"

I groaned and slid my hands up her sides, letting my thumbs move over her breasts. "Sitting next to you, looking like that, in the dark for three hours, unable to touch you. I can't wait to get you back to the room."

She chuckled as she slid her arms around my waist. "What happened to all that self control you used to have around me? I used to have to beg you for even a kiss."

I frowned as I remembered all the times I'd pushed her away. "I'm sorry about that, love. I was just so afraid of hurting you. I didn't trust myself."

She smiled softly and kissed my nose. "I always trusted you. It's funny, husband of mine, that you always used to say that I didn't see myself very clearly, but neither did you."

"Your faith in me is what got us here, Bella. You were always stronger than I was. I can't begin to thank you enough for that. My life would be nothing without you."

Bella kissed me harder this time before pulling back. "That's sweet but I hate hearing something like that. You would have made it without me."

"Maybe, but I wouldn't have been happy. You are my life, Bella. I hate remembering my time without you and I hate thinking about what I'd do if I ever lost you again." My voice was desperate and I flashed back to that dark time without her, when I'd longed for the escape of death.

"You don't ever have to. I'm here, with you, forever." I looked into her golden eyes, so heated on mine and I let myself get lost there. She was my world.

"I just need to touch you."

She gave me a sexy smile. "You will, as soon as we get into our room."

Like magic, the car pulled up in front of the hotel and I had the door open before the driver could come around to let us out. I moved as quickly as I could while still keeping up my human façade as we made our way through the lobby and over to the elevators. I cursed myself as I waited for the private elevator to arrive. Of course I'd had to get the best, the Royal Plaza Suite. I hadn't thought of the logistics of having to wait to get my hands on my wife while awaiting the elevator and then riding up. Of course, I could take her in the elevator but I wanted more than that.

I fidgeted the whole ride up, while Bella watched me with laughing eyes and a smile on her lovely face. "What?"

"You're impatient. I find it amusing."

I slid my arm around her and pulled her close to my side. "Is that so?" Her eyes darkened and she licked her lips.

Just when I thought I wouldn't be able to take it anymore, the elevator doors opened and we were in our suite. I pulled her through the doors on our left and into the bedroom. Bella laughed at my eagerness as I yanked off my suit jacket and started to advance on her.

"This isn't our bedroom, though why you felt compelled to get a suite with three bedrooms when it was only the two of us is beyond me." She ran her fingers over the white silk bedding as her eyes watched my every movement.

I loosened my tie and pulled it off, tossing it over my shoulder as I advanced on her. "This was the closest bedroom, so that's why we're here. I'll have you know, I intend for us to make use of every single one of the three beds, as well as that long dining room table, the piano, the balcony, the elevator, and anything else that strikes our fancy. What do you think of that, Mrs. Cullen?"

Her eyes were completely black now and she reached out and grabbed me by the waistband of my black slacks and pulled me toward her. "What do I think, Mr. Cullen?" she purred, running her hands over the front of my white dress shirt. "I think we'd better get busy if we're going to do all that and still see the city." She gave a tug and the front of my shirt ripped open, sending buttons flying.

I gave a low growl and pulled her against me, my lips hard on hers as my hands moved over her body, sliding over the green silk, finally touching her the way I'd wanted to all night. Bella arched under my touch, pressing her breasts against my chest and burying her hands in my hair.

I could have gone on kissing her forever but I needed to see her. I pulled her zipper down and moved my hands over her back as I peeled the dress away from her body, my fingers lightly skimming over her silky skin. Bella's hands were busy down below, removing my belt and undoing my zipper. I felt my eyes roll back into my head as her hands moved over me and I hissed with pleasure.

I tugged the dress down her torso and swallowed a mouthful of venom as I took in the see-through, strapless black negligee she wore underneath the dress. "It's a good thing I didn't know what was going on underneath your clothes, love. We wouldn't have made it to the show."

She let out a breathless laugh as she slid my pants down my legs. "I wanted to give you another present."

I kicked my pants aside and shrugged out of my dress shirt before pulling off my undershirt. "I couldn't ask for anything better, love." I lightly traced the black lace that just barely covered her breasts and her head fell back in complete surrender. I pressed my lips to her neck, gently nipping at the skin there, scraping my teeth over her graceful throat as I pulled the dress down her body. She stepped out of it when she felt it hit the floor and kicked it across the room.

Her body was every man's fantasy, long, gorgeous white limbs, perfect curves covered with black lace, breasts that just begged to be touched and tasted…I had to swallow another mouthful of venom at just the sight of her. Her eyes were black with desire and her bottom lip stuck out in a little pout at my perusal. "Now who's impatient?" I asked, grinning at the sulky expression on her face.

"I just thought you wanted me," she murmured, her pout becoming more defined. I wanted to bite on that sexy lower lip.

I trailed my right hand along the curve of her left shoulder and she tilted her head to give me better access. "I do, love. I always, always want you."

She gave me a seductive smile and peered up at me through her lovely lashes. "Well then, what are you waiting for?"

"You wrapped my present so enticingly; I'm just taking my time enjoying the packaging." I kissed her softly and a low purr sounded in her throat as I continued to lightly trace my fingers down her arms.

"Suddenly you're Mister Slow…what happened to being so anxious we had to go into the nearest bedroom?" she demanded after I broke our kiss, moving down to move my lips over her jaw. She was right; of course, I was still physically craving her to the point that I thought my body would start shaking if I didn't have her soon. But she was just so stunning that I wanted to savor her. It was instinct warring with need, as always when it came to her.

Suddenly I knew exactly what I wanted and I smiled against her skin, pressing a kiss to her collarbone. "You want me to pick up the pace, love?"

Her hands moved over my back, pulling me closer to her. "Yes, you know I do," she said sulkily.

"Then make me." Her body jerked underneath my lips and she reached up and tugged on my hair so that I was looking up at her from my position just above her breasts.

A triumphant smile moved over her lips and she licked them again. "What a very good idea, Mr. Cullen."

_Would you like to hear my orders, or should I surprise you? _There was nothing in the world, beyond Bella herself, that I loved more than being able to hear her thoughts. I was already addicted to her mental voice and it had only been a few days since she'd given me that gift.

"I want to hear them," I told her, my voice a little rougher than usual.

She smirked. _I thought as much. Take off your boxers. _The thought entered my head and my hands moved without having to think about it. How I loved her power!

Her eyes moved over me hungrily and she made a little noise at the sight of me naked before her. I loved her reaction to me and knew it would always be this way. _Carry me to the bed. _I had her in my arms and walked over to the bed, holding her body tightly to mine. _Lay me down. _Then she was on bed and I was looking down at her, wanting her more than anything in the world. The black lace contrasted beautifully with her creamy skin. She was every man's dream and my reality. If I could weep tears of gratitude for that fact, I would.

_Kiss me. _My lips were on her, my body bent over, hovering above her, anxious to touch her but unable to do anything but what she asked of me. Her hands were on either side of my face, holding my lips to hers, kissing me back hungrily.

_Lie on me, I want to feel your body against mine. _I was on top of her on the bed, our bodies aligned perfectly, the only thing separating us that little nightie that was almost too delicious to remove. I continued kissing her and arms wound around my back, tight bands holding me to her.

_Kiss my neck. _I smiled as I moved my lips down, pressing my lips to that gentle curve of neck. She pushed her head back on the pillow, giving me full access to her throat. I kissed and nibbled my way over every millimeter of skin as she began to writhe and moan beneath me.

_Touch me, please. Anywhere you want. You're in control now. _Those words were incredibly sexy and they spurred me on. My hands streaked down her torso, cupping her breasts, running my fingers over her nipples. She arched off the bed and pushed herself against me. I smiled against her skin and nibbled along her left shoulder, down to her collar bone.

I pushed the thin black straps down both her shoulder, tracing my fingers over her skin lightly as she moaned softly. I tugged the nightgown down her body, revealing every inch of creamy skin almost torturously slowly, dragging out the delicious torture for both of us. "Edward," she whispered breathlessly and I pressed my tongue to the base of her throat, dragging it up her neck and nipping her chin before I recaptured her lips.

My hands continued to move over her body, removing that last barrier that remained between the two of us. She got impatient and moved to help me, ripping the nightgown off her body. Her now black eyes glittered up at me in an irresistible challenge. "You ruined your pretty gown, love," I mock scolded her, taking the damaged garment from her hands and frowning. "I was rather fond of that, you know."

"I have more," she told me and I didn't even try to keep the smile off my face at that. God bless Alice and her endless supply of lingerie for my wife. I'd have to buy her another car or something in thanks. I heard my cell phone buzz in my pants pocket, which thankfully was across the room and smothered a laugh against Bella's right shoulder. Alice was no doubt sending me her gift idea. It could wait though.

What couldn't wait was my impatient wife, who was moving her body wantonly against me and making it awfully hard to savor her like I wanted. The animal that I had been earlier was tamed, banked by the need to show my Bella just how much I loved and adored her. She was the impatient one now.

I made my way down her neck and watched her eyes get impossibly darker as I took her breast into my mouth, savoring the floral flavor that erupted on my tongue at the taste of her. Though her blood could no longer call to me, her skin was still the best thing I'd ever tasted. Everything about her still called to me from a place deep inside. Bella was truly my other half.

Her hands were in my hair again, holding me to her breast as I kissed and nibbled and swirled my tongue over her, exactly the way she liked. Her gasps and tugs on my hair spurred me on, as I moved to the other breast and gave it the same attention while my hands glided down her body, tracing circles on her hips before moving against her and stroking her firmly. She bucked against me then and I heard her chanting my name, both out loud and in her thoughts.

It was utterly intoxicating watching my wife come apart in my arms, those coal black eyes rolling back in her head as her neck arched toward me, inviting me to take a gentle bite, a nonverbal command with which I readily complied. Her hips pushed against my fingers as she let the pleasure take her away.

When she came down, I kissed her softly, enjoying the dazed look in her eyes and the beautiful, satisfied look on her face. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back, the pressure of her mouth increasing as time went on. "More, love?'

She smiled and kissed my nose. "Always, Edward." How I loved her saying that word. Always. It fit us in a way that it didn't fit humans, though they used it all the time. The fact that my time with Bella was infinite made me, for the first time in way too many years of living, happy to be a vampire. As long as I could have always with her, it was a beautiful word to pulled me back to her and kissed me hard, her hands moving over my back, flexing against my muscles as she pulled me to her.

Like always, we fit perfectly, her legs snugly wrapped around mine as I slid inside her. _Home, _she thought and I cocked my head at her. She bit her lip sheepishly. _When we're joined, I don't know exactly how to explain it but it feels like home to me. Comfortable and warm and just…right somehow. You know what I mean?_

Trust her to be able to find the right words to describe us when I so often failed. I smiled at her and brushed the hair away from her gorgeous face. "I know exactly what you mean. You are my home, Bella. I love you, more than I ever thought possible."

Her face lit up like it always did when I said those words to her. I hoped that never changed either. "I love you, too."

And that was really all we needed. I linked my hands with hers, placing our hands on either side of her head and began to move slowly inside of her. Bella's hips moved in perfect rhythm with mine, our bodies coming together, our eyes and lips locked on one another's. She moaned and moved her hips faster and I knew she was close, so I increased my movement and watched her fall apart again, letting myself go with her.

We kissed softly for a time, before I moved behind her and pulled her into my arms, burying my face in her hair and breathing her scent deeply.

"This is a good vacation," she told me, tracing her thumb over our joined hands.

"We still have two whole days."

She laughed and looked at me over her shoulder, her hair cascading down her back. "Then we better get busy. You got this penthouse for a reason, didn't you?" She was out of my arms before I could blink, running naked from the room. "Catch me if you can."

Good vacation? Try the best vacation ever. I sprang from the bed and took off after my wife.


End file.
